r/Relationships My Little Bro Is Spying On My Wife!

welcome to our slash relationship advice where op discovers that his little brother has been spying on his wife i'm a 26 year old girl and my 35 year old boyfriend drugged me with benadryl because we got into an argument before our road trip and he wanted me to sleep the whole time on monday we decided to make the 8 hour drive back to our home state and quarantined there for a few months right before leaving we got into a big fight because i wanted to stay at my mother's house for a while and he didn't want to among other reasons i won't get into well before leaving we decided to eat dinner so we didn't have to stop anywhere fast forward to our drive and not long after hitting the road i passed out i don't even really remember falling asleep i woke up one time for a while drank some gatorade which he gave me and then i fell asleep again i thought this was extremely weird because i wasn't tired hardly at all and we didn't even leave super early i kept commenting on how weird it was that i was tired the whole drive and slept for 90 of it yesterday the tension eased a bit and he made the offhanded comment that he wishes he could drug me more when i act out and argue with him i ask him what he's talking about he proceeds to tell me that he put benadryl in my drink and that's why i slept so he didn't have to deal with me he literally said this as though it wasn't that big of a deal i'm still reeling from the conversation and completely floored i don't know if i'm overreaching or not but something tells me i'm not and it's extremely screwed up to put medicine and drinks i don't know what to do op i'll tell you exactly what you need to do don't dump this guy immediately oh my god this is a red flag it's disrespectful abusive and probably straight up illegal op this isn't merely a red flag this is absolutely terrifying behavior and then opie posted an update thank you guys so much i can't even believe the support and response i got i ended up calling my brother and telling him about it and asking him how i should handle it and he got in his car to come get me before i even finish telling him what it all happened him freaking out more than anything else made me realize that i wasn't overreacting i didn't tell my boyfriend i was leaving until my brother was parked on the street and i just walked out with a few things so now i'm in a messy breakup situation where he's already tried to come by my mom's house even though i told him i don't want to see him and that i'd give my stuff eventually both from his parents house where he's currently at and his actual house things are going to be weird to figure out but i just wanted to let you guys know that i'm totally okay thank you i can't reply to everyone who reached out and messaged me so i hope you guys see this and know that i appreciate it op i'm glad that your brother made you see reason if i had a sister and she called me and said that her boyfriend drugged her to be unconscious then i would have done the exact same thing this next post is an update to a post that i covered in a previous r slash relationships video as a quick refresher opie was a woman who had a stalker so she bought a dog for protection her stalker broke into her house and the dog straight up ripped him a new one then op's sister-in-law who has a young child demanded that she put her dog down because she felt the dog was unsafe and dangerous opie didn't want to put her dog down because why would she the dog literally saved her life anyways the dog's name is thor and this is the update post i definitely didn't expect my last post to blow up the way it did thank you so much to everyone who commented i appreciate that i got advice from all over the spectrum from people who completely agreed with me to people who completely agreed with my sister-in-law and people who thought both of us had a point it helped me see that the problem was more complicated than i thought which helped me understand that my sister-in-law wasn't just being a dick it also helped me decide what things were and weren't fair to be angry about i also appreciated seeing a few people comment making fun of me for needing my dog with me and the majority of people yelling at them and saying i was actually acting pretty reasonably for someone who endured a violent attack i don't want to be seen as someone delicate and i'm glad that most people don't see me that way reading everyone's comments i had this moment where i was like yeah they're right i did almost get dragged out of my house and murdered just a few weeks ago who the hell are these people to say how i should act that felt really good and i really really appreciated it anyway the conclusion i came to in all this is that while my sister-in-law is well within her rights to protect her daughter she went about it in a way that disrespected me both as a friend and as a victim of a very recent violent attack both my parents and her parents live locally and babysit all the time she and my brother could have easily dropped my niece off with them and came to visit it probably would have been a while before i noticed my niece wasn't coming around at which point i would have been in a better place and more understanding that she was uncomfortable with her daughter around thor regardless of what some people said about how my sister-in-law and brother don't owe me anything and that all of their allegiance goes to their daughter i simply do not feel that way we were extremely close before this happened i was always there for them and i would literally drop my plan so i could babysit my niece if my brother and sister-in-law needed a night to themselves the very least they could have done for me after i was almost kidnapped and murdered is to try to find some compromise we went from seeing each other three times a week to pretty much not seeing each other at all even if they weren't okay with me creating the dog they could have easily dropped their daughter off with grandma and grandpa for a few hours so i wouldn't feel completely isolated i also have a yard so they could have come over with her and we all could have hung out outside while thor stayed inside i've been upset about this for a while but i wasn't sure if i was right to be upset until so many people echoed that sentiment so i appreciate it i invited my brother and sister-in-law over and tried to lay all this out without being confrontational or acting like a dick to my surprise my brother and sister-in-law had no real understanding that i've been having a difficult time they thought i was basically fine and everything in my life was more or less back to normal now that my stalker's in jail i didn't get into it in my previous post but during the year that i was stalked i worked really hard to not show many outward signs of fear i even made jokes about having a stalker i knew people wouldn't want to hang out with someone who was constantly going on and on about some bad thing that was going on in their life and i didn't want to be that person who was perpetually in crisis and more than that i just didn't want to always be thinking and talking about having a stalker i wanted to not think about it as much as possible so i guess i might have come off as unaffected by the whole thing i'm not sure if i totally buy that they didn't know that i was going through something traumatic and that it was taking a huge toll on my mental state i mean i got a gun and paid for tactical training i bought a home security system i got active in self-defense classes and strength training things that i previously had no interest in even if i wasn't walking around telling everyone how scared i was i think anyone would have been able to tell plus who just brushes off having their house broken into in the middle of the night it seems crazy and they don't seem so emotionally unintelligent that they think that but both my brother and sister-in-law did apologize for being insensitive and when i pressed my sister-in-law on why creating the dog isn't good enough she eventually relented and said it would be fine it probably helped that the entire time they were over thor was asleep and loudly snoring in his crate the paranoid part of me is convinced that they don't want to deal with me in a fragile state they made up an excuse about my dog and are now just going to come up with some other excuse about why they can't see me i invited them over for dinner in a few days and they're coming so i guess i'll just have to see from there i can't stress enough that these used to be my best friends and i'm heartbroken to have not had their support i've been trying to rely on my friends more now and thankfully they've all been really supportive i'm really lucky that this happened during the pandemic because nobody's getting frustrated with me that i basically refuse to leave the house for a month they're all perfectly happy to pick up take out and come over and watch tv for the fifth night in a row in other news yesterday i left my dog at home and drove around the block alone i was shaking the whole time but i did it i keep trying to remind myself that i spent a whole year fighting back even though i was utterly terrified i can't just lay down and die now that i'm so close to getting my life back op i'm so glad that you came to a resolution because i was actually kind of worried that you you're gonna put down your dog and any dog that saves their owner's life from an actual murderer is a bona fide good boy i'm a 38 year old male and i just found out that my 19 year old brother has been perving on my 37 year old wife background my brother has been staying with us since lockdown after his university closed he couldn't stay with our parents because they just sold the house and moved to a one bedroom apartment and her sister lives in a different part of the country he was the oops baby so i hope that explains the age gap my wife and i have a five bedroom home but currently don't have any children yet so we let him stay here my brother's always been different he's a bit of a loner and doesn't have a lot of friends outside of his online group he's a shy geeky kid but he's otherwise alright or so i thought when you get to know him so here's what happened the wifi doesn't quite reach my brother's room so he usually does his schoolwork and other stuff in the dining room a few nights ago i was walking to the fridge after waking up in the middle of the night and i saw my brother working on something and as i got closer i saw a very compromising picture of my wife it was a cleavage shot as she was gardening he noticed me and quickly closed the window like he was caught watching adult videos i was too shell-shocked to say anything at the time and he just smiled awkwardly and ran to his room with his laptop when i realized that something was up i knew i had to find out the next day i asked my brother to pick up some groceries and some lunch for us and while he was away i went to his room and well it wasn't pretty i saw a couple of my wife's bras and some of her panties which i can only assume he used to pleasure himself i took his laptop and i decided to snoop i know his password because i borrowed his crunchyroll account there i found some of the most sickening things i've ever seen there were pictures of my wife in a towel her working out her uncompromising positions etc all taken without her consent by the looks of it my brother even logs every time he touches himself to the image of my wife the creepiest part he sometimes listens in on us when we passionately hug my wife can be a bit loud but we didn't think it would be a problem since his bedroom was in a different part of the house the guest bedroom i left the room feeling like i needed a shower it was absolutely disgusting now i don't know what to do i find myself fighting the urge to pummel him into next week every time i see him i haven't told my wife yet because i'm 100 sure she'll feel violated and disgusted so i want to find the best solution first before doing so i so desperately want to kick him out but he has nowhere else to go even if i do what should i tell my parents the truth this will most likely break the family apart i do plan on telling my wife soon but if i do i can almost guarantee she would want nothing to do with him and would never want to visit the family if he's around i am so freaking lost right now any advice will help i'm still fighting the urge to beat my brother to a bloody pulp small update i told my wife the redditors who said that i should tell her first before anything because she's the victim are absolutely right i'm giving her all the power to decide what to do about it a lot of things have happened but there's still things that need to be settled and then opie posted an update i told my wife the next day after posting and needless to say she did not take it well she says that she feels violated and unsafe in her own home see the thing is my wife and i have been together for almost 15 years so we literally saw this kid grow up we took him out to movies to the beach etc we sometimes even joked to my parents that he was our practice baby my wife has a tendency to distrust people in general as a lot of people in her life have let her down in the past imagine how hurt and betrayed she was when she found out someone she trusted and loved dearly betrayed her like that honestly if i wasn't consoling my wife then i probably would have gone through with the initial idea and beat the ever loving bejesus out of my brother after she calmed down and went to sleep i called my sister and talked about the situation my sister and i are close given that we were born less than a year apart i feel like she needed to know because she has two teenage daughters herself and who knows what my brother would do to them if given the chance we talked and she was clearly mad she loves my wife like a sister and they're quite close themselves she said that she would support whatever decision we make and that her brother would also be unwelcome at her place for the foreseeable future then we confronted my brother at first he denied it but when i showed him the evidence he started ugly crying and begging us to forgive him i gave him an ultimatum either he lets me into his phone and laptop and delete everything or i call the police there was so much more stuff on his computer than i initially thought so many more stolen pictures of my wife that were definitely taken without consent my brother even recorded the audio of us passionately hugging who does that so after hours of me looking for as much stuff as possible and pretty much clearing most of his hard drive he eventually left without much of a fight oh and we definitely threw out my wife's defiled underwear and are most likely going to have the room he stayed in clean professionally i checked and thankfully he didn't have any hidden cameras anywhere oh and if you're wondering how we got pictures of my wife in a towel the shower for the master bathroom doesn't have hot water right now so my wife uses the shared one in the same area she would usually walk out of the bathroom with just a towel on and go change in our walk-in closet this shouldn't have been a problem because the guest bedroom was in a different part of the house far from the main bedrooms and it had its own bathroom so my brother had no reason for being there needless to say my wife is still shaken up about the whole thing which is why i didn't think about writing an update until now i'm sorry but my wife's well-being is my priority above anything else my mom eventually called me asking what happened she seemed very confused so i figured my brother didn't tell her anything at all i told her what happened and needless to say it did not end well she kept asking me to forgive my brother and take him back in she ranted about how difficult it would be to support him and how what i'm doing is breaking the family apart i let her talk until i eventually said that my brother would no longer be welcome in my home i told her that she needed to get him to therapy and that until then there's no chance we would ever see him my mom told me she talked to my sister about it and i said good luck she's mad at him too i'm not sure what's gonna happen to our family now the reason why we got this big house was because we wanted everyone to come over during the holidays and stay with us but i'm not sure if my parents will at this point and there's no chance my brother is ever coming back anytime soon thankfully my sister is 100 on my side and we're gonna talk about what we're doing for thanksgiving soon my wife hasn't really been the same either but she's getting better now that my brother is gone we're talking about therapy which is something she's very willing to try out we took a drive to the beach earlier chill guys we never left the car and talked about the future we both agreed that after this whole covet thing is over we're gonna finally start our family with kids being a mom is something she always wanted but we both wanted to be financially secure enough to give them a good life and for us to also be in a position where we didn't have to work so much and just spend time with them the sparkle in her eyes when we talked about our life together with kids told me that while things aren't good right now we're gonna be okay honestly i can't wait to be a dad myself so yeah long story short my brother is gone my wife is still sad my sister is on my side but mom isn't and i'm gonna be a dad in a few years thanks to everyone who gave me their advice it honestly helped me clear my head and make the right decision to tell my wife first and no we didn't go to the police my brother deleted everything voluntarily and left without a trace i'm sure the pictures are still out there somewhere but thankfully they aren't so explicit that it would severely damage my wife's reputation op that story is wild and i'm glad that you're backing up your wife throughout all this i think you made the right call even though it's definitely gonna cause some damage to relationships in your family that was our slash relationship advice and if you like this video then check out my podcast where i publish the exact same episodes also hit that subscribe button because i put out new reddit videos every single day

Channel: rSlash

Views: 491,927

Keywords: reddit, r/, rslash, r\, sub, subreddit, best of reddit, reddit top posts, top posts, top posts of all times, comedy, funny reddit posts, funny reddit, fails, cringe, relationshipadvice, relationship_advice, relationship advice, r/relationship_advice, relationship_advice posts, relationship, r/relationships

Id: vft57qAeTBo

Length: 16min 49sec (1009 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 21 2020