- [David] Yo, Ronny, where you at? Let's go to Chinatown
and get some lunch, bro. - [Ronny] Chinatown? I don't wanna run into
a bunch of tourists. - [David] Man, the neighborhood
is like 150 years old. We just gotta get you to
understand the community better. - [Ronny] Fine, but no
tacky YouTube stuff. I just wanna eat in peace. (upbeat hiphop music) ♪ Say it like this ♪ ♪ Ya ain't got a chance in the stands ♪ ♪ Like you better dance in this ♪ ♪ I mean that ♪ ♪ Wanna see yo hands in this ♪ ♪ Got about a grand on my wrist ♪ Feels great to be back
in a restaurant again. - Yeah, I haven't been here in a minute. ♪ I don't need justification,
I get credit from the crew ♪ Yo, what's goin' on everybody, David Fung here in NYC, Chinatown,
we're at Congee Village. Anthony Bourdain ate here, now I'm eating here with Ronny Chieng. Ronny, say what up to the people. - Hey. - You know, if you tried a little harder, Asian Reddit would like you more. - What, they don't like me? - Asian Reddit, Asian Twitter,
Asian Facebook meme groups, they fucking hate you. - What the fuck did I do? - Where do I start? I mean, it's mostly
because you don't do enough for the Asian community. - That's bullshit, okay,
anytime there's a video of a Asian person getting beaten
up, I always like the post. - Okay, Mr. Hollywood, I
might just be like a YouTuber, but that means I'm pretty locked in with the Asian internet,
and they don't like you. - Whatever, they don't like anyone. - They love me. - Why? - Because I'm woke to the plight of the average Asian-American. And plus, I enthusiastically
promote a fuck ton of Asian restaurants. - So what, if I just showcase
a bunch of Asian food, they'll like me more? - Couldn't hurt. (soft hiphop music) - [Ronny] Love this place, the
yum cha here is so authentic. - Yeah, this place is dope, man. Back in the day, it was
like the Chinese Studio 54. Too bad it's closing in a few days. - It's closing? - Yeah, it's been on life support since the pandemic started. - Oh, that's so sad. - Yo, you should do a stand-up
comedy show here tonight. - Yeah, why not? The vibe here is electric. - No, I'm serious, man. Get some Asian American performers, save the community, you'll
be a Chinatown hero. - Oh, shit. Yeah, you're right, you know what? Fuck it, let's save this restaurant. Where's the owner? - Who the fuck are you? - You don't know this guy? - No, but I love your YouTube videos. - Who the hell pays money for jokes? - 100 grand. - $100,000? - Okay, fine, $50,000. - 10. - Okay, deal. But you better pay on time. - Okay, you're welcome. - So what is it that you
guys are gonna do here? I still don't get it. - Oh, lit! Like a Chinese wedding! - [Ronny] Yeah, yeah,
exactly, exactly like that. - No problem, I got you, - Were gonna bring a lot of people. (soft hip hop music) - Well, I just messaged a bunch of super desperate New York comic friends to come open for us, so we
should have enough for a show. - Yeah, that sounds like a good idea, if you want the restaurant to die. - Really? Why? - Dude, if you really wanna raise money, you gotta get somebody famous-famous. - Well, yeah, you have me. - Okay, Mr. Five Lines
in "Crazy Rich Asians." I don't think you understand
what's at stake here. If nobody shows up, it's gonna be "C-Lister
Ronny Chieng Kills Chinatown: "I Always Hated His Accent Anyway." - Well, I'm pretty sure
that posts already exists. - Plus the best way to build your clout is to piggyback off somebody with more clout. - Well, where the fuck are we gonna find someone more famous than me by tonight? - I got an idea. (soft uplifting beats) You can't sleep on Flushing. Twice as many Chinese people live here as Manhattan Chinatown. - Wow, let me guess, Asian Wikipedia loves you too. This is your big idea? To come all the way to
Queens to get, boba tea? - This is not some
regular-ass bubble tea shop. This is the boba spot. Every Asian that's any
Asian hangs here, check it. - What's the plan, we're
just gonna wait around till someone walks in the door? Also, what is that? You have your own flavor? - Thanks, Joe. Hey, man, that's what they give you when you support the community. Yo, what's going on everybody, I'm with Ronny Chieng here at M Tea in Flushing, Queens right now. We're about to try the Fung Bro-ba's Boba. This is the coconut, butterfly
pea vine blue milk tea with double brown sugar,
it's about to go down. Ronny, what you about to get? - Oh, uh, actually, I'm trying
to reduce my sugar intake, so I might just pass on
the bubble thing, so. - Do you want the pro-boba crowd or not? - I'll get their support when I save the stupid fucking restaurant, okay? Can we just stop doing tacky selfie videos and make something cool that Asians will want to rally behind? Like, look, I'll call my graphic designer. - Save your money, done. - This is terrible. I don't remember taking this photo. Also, who decided that everything on YouTube has to look like this? - The algorithm. - They didn't promote "The
Godfather" with this face. - Look, man, maybe YouTube
thumbnails are corny. Maybe being a YouTuber is corny. But guess what, Hollywood
doesn't give real Asian Americans like me an opportunity.
- Can you-- - So we have to make our way on YouTube. America doesn't respect civilized men. They like masculine men
with erratic behaviors, sleeping around, beatin' up losers, fuckin' shit up, alpha Chad bro shit. - Is that, that's Genghis Khan. You're describing Genghis Khan. So if every Asian person
acted like Genghis Khan, that would solve all your problems? - Yeah. - Okay, well, let me see if
I can get him on the show. - I'm telling you a bad-ass Asian guy who doesn't give a fuck would
be perfect for the community. Have you seen that study where 42% of Americans couldn't
even name a single Asian? And the ones they could were Bruce Lee, Jackie Chan, and Jeremy Lin. What do those three guys have in common? - I don't know, they have rock-hard abs? - They all physically defeated Americans. They only care about you
here if you're an Asian guy who could beat the crap out of 'em. - Yeah, I don't know if that's-- - Hold on, is that Jeremy Lin? - Oh shit, it is Jeremy Lin. That's crazy, you were
just talking about him. - Dude, if you can get him on the show, that would be some serious street cred. - Yeah, okay, I have street cred, and also, I know the guy,
we text all the time. Let's just ask him for
some merch to auction. Hey Jeremy, what's up, man? - Oh crap, hey, Ronny. - What do you mean, "Hey, Ronny,"? Yo, you leave me hanging here? Remember, I came to
support you, courtside? - I got you those tickets because you wouldn't stop
freaking messaging me. - Hey, man. - Hey, Jeremy. - Yeah, we met like five times, made a bunch of YouTube
videos, millions of views? - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I'm Christian too. - Cool.
- Anyway, Jeremy, we're doing this fundraiser and, I'm not sure if you're free. - No, I'm not interested. - We haven't told you what it is yet. - Let me guess, you want
some Jeremy Lin clout for your stupid event. I'm not supporting your trash. - I mean, that is what we would want. - Oh, yo, okay, look,
it's not for me, okay? It's for a struggling
restaurant in Chinatown that has deep ties to the community. - Oh really, what's the
name of this restaurant? - The name is, David, what's the name? - The answer's no, man. - Hey, J Lin, we're
just asking for a jersey or your stupid shoes to auction off, okay? Stop being such a dick. - I'm not the dick here. You're the one interrupting my practice. - What do you mean your practice? What are you practicing? This is a game for small children, okay? It's not even a real job. - Okay, let me get a real job then. Let me be hella short and
tell lame Asian jokes all day. - I'll have you know it takes brains to make money from words, okay? Any dumbass can put a ball in a circle. - I went to Harvard, Ronny. - Yeah, okay, fine, I'm just saying, comedy's a lot harder than
bouncing a fucking ball. - Oh, yeah?
- Yeah. - All right, check up, then. - Sure. What does that mean? - Bro, that means one on
one, let's play basketball. - Okay, yeah, well, no, well,
no, we'll go two on one, and if we win, you have to
give us your stupid merch. - Okay, and if I win, you delete my number and never message me again. - Deal. - Yo, if we lose, me and you could still follow each other on IG, right? - Goodness, check up. - Yo, Dave. - Dude, we're about to play
basketball with Jeremy Lin. - I know, I cannot believe
he agreed to do that. I mean, even if we lose, this is still gonna be a great story. - We might have a chance, this ain't the Knicks J Lin anymore. - Yeah, okay, force him left
and ask him about the Bible. - All right. - Yo, what's it like being on "The Daily Show" after it was good? - I don't know, I guess it's
like being on the Hornets? Ow, ow, ow, that's a foul, man, foul! - I don't know, man, it
looked kinda clean to me. - That's one. (light electronic music) - David, switch, switch. - They call you Avid, no D. - Ah, he knows my name. (Ronny softly grunts) - Hell no. - Ow. - You really cannot play this game. Go get it. Get this baby out the court! Linsanity! Don't ever ask me for anything ever again. And delete my number. - I think I touched his dick. - Look, Jeremy, I'm sorry that everybody asks so much from you and that we even try to
solve our generational trauma through your success. But listen, you're all we have. You're the chosen one, you're Neo. And maybe it's unrealistic
that we think of you as this masculine Asian warrior Jesus, but can you just help us out? - Yeah, I gotchu. If you need jerseys,
shoes, whatever it is, man, I gotchu, I'll sign it for you. - Yo, I got his bag, let's go! - Ronny, Ronny, I'm gonna kill you, Ronny! - Hey, don't mute me on IG Story. - Okay, we're clear. - I really think that
Jesus sent us Jeremy Lin. I mean, how else do you explain
running into him like that? - Yeah, it was a real Christmas miracle. Let's see what's in his bag. Let's see, a Bible, of course, a season three bootleg DVD of "Friends." (Ronny softly groans) Pasta in a ZipLock bag. And a half-eaten banh mi. How much do you think all this is worth? - I'll give you 10 bucks for the DVD. - Dammit, this charity show
was a bad idea to begin with. I should never have let
you talk me into this. - What the fuck, man? It's not my fault that J Lin
and Asian Reddit both hate you. At this rate, Asian
TikTok gonna hate you too. - Goddammit, why is it so hard to find Asian people more famous
than me to build clout? - You're out of miracles
to ask Jesus for too. - What'd you say? - You can't ask Jesus
for anymore miracles. - Your right, I have an idea. (light upbeat music) (gong softly chimes) (soft tranquil music) - We maxed out the Jesus credit card, so we switched to Buddha? - Yeah, it's unlimited credit
plus lower judgment rates. Also this isn't Buddha, this is Guanyin. How do you not know that? - I grew up a West
Coast, Evangelical Asian. I don't know any of this stuff. - Oh, oh, look what we have here, Mr. David Fung, Asian expert,
doesn't know Chinese religion? - I grew up super Christian, but I kinda drifted over the years once I realized there weren't
any Asians in the Bible. How do we do this? - All religions are like the same, okay? Just be submissive and guilty. Guanyin, please give me a miracle
to help me build my clout. - Yo, can you ask Mrs. Yin if I can get a million on IG? - Dude, stop praying through me. - Uh, excuse me, would you
guys mind keeping it down? This is a place of worship. Also, that's not Guanyin. - Oh my god, Simu? What are you doing here? - Oh, you know, just
praying for the wellbeing and prosperity of all Asian people around the world
everywhere, how about you? - Oh, yeah, same. This is David. - Fung, right? - Yeah. - Thank you for all that
you do for the community. It's great to see somebody
leaning in rather than just going on stage and shitting on
everything all the time. Hey, you guys want some bolo baos? They're the famous ones from
the Elizabeth Street market. - Oh, hell yeah, I'll take one. - No, I'm okay, thanks. - Yeah, mm, these are delicious. - Speaking of helping Asian people, I'm actually doing a live comedy
show tonight to raise funds to save this iconic Chinatown restaurant. - Oh, that's amazing, you're actually doing something
positive for a change. Do you guys have any
space left in your lineup? Maybe I could jump in and help you guys? - That'd be incredible. - I mean, yeah, yeah, that'd be great. - Man, I've been working on this really tight standup routine, or hey, maybe we could do improv. - Or you could take your
shirt off and do a back flip. - Oh, oh, no, no, no, I
don't do that anymore. Things were starting to
get a little out of hand, taking control of my life. So many back flips
everywhere, all the time. - I'm sure we could think of something. - Yeah, yeah, maybe I could sing a song or I could tell a story from set. You guys know I was a
part of that Marvel movie, "Shang-Chi and The
Legend of The Ten Rings"? - Yeah, I was in that movie with you. - You were? - Yeah, we had scenes together. - Really? - Yo, do you mind doing a video
to promote the show tonight? - Yeah, sure, anything for the community. - Yo, what up everybody,
we're in Chinatown NYC and look what Guanyin brought us, Shang-Chi himself, Simu Liu. What up, Simu? - Hey, how's it going everybody? We're in NYC Chinatown, prayin' it up, and I'm here with my boys,
David Fung and, uh, Remy-- - Ronny. - Ronald, Ronny, Ronny,
yeah, yeah, Ronny, hey, hey. - Hey, hey, everybody! I'm out with my buds in Chinatown and shout out to my Chinatown stans. We're doing a live show
in Congee Village tonight to raise funds to save the
restaurant, so come on down. - Whew, get excited!
- Yeah! - Marvel superhero's in da house! - Yeah, and he's gonna do a back flip-- - What?
- Right now, yeah, yeah! He's gonna do a back flip.
- No, no, guys, guys, no, no, no.
- Yeah, yeah, come on, come on, come on!
- No, no, no. - Back flip, back flip!
- Come on, the floor is slippery, guys.
- Back flip, back flip! - Okay, okay.
- Back flip, back flip! - For the community!
- Back flip, back flip! Back flip, back flip! (bones loudly crunch) - Bro, we just killed Shang-Chi. - I didn't ask him to take off his shirt. Wait, I have an idea. (light hip hop music) - Dude, I can't believe we
just killed the best hope for Asian men in American media. - I mean, is there a clearer metaphor than flipping over backwards
for the community and dying? - Dude, you know the flipping
was kinda your idea, right? - Really? It was your tasteless dumb pandering, video shout-out crap that started it. - I'm tasteless? You're the one trying
to use a charity show to increase your public profile. - It was your idea! If it make you feel
better, it didn't work. We couldn't find a
single person more famous or talented than me. All I have is you. - Okay, well, fuck you then. - Fine, fuck you too. - Fine!
- Fine! - Hey, guys. - What?
- What? - Oh, hey, Atsuko, thanks for being on the
show, I really appreciate it. - Yeah, happy to be an
afterthought token woman on this complete
dick-involved sausage fest. - Uh, yeah, also, sorry if
the crowd is kinda sparse. I just couldn't build the hype. - What? It's a packed house, what
are you talking about? Yeah, your viral Jeremy Lin
video was amazing, look. - Linsanity!
(air horn blowing) Never ask me for anything ever again. (air horn blowing)
(baby softly crying) - Looks like my promo worked. - Yeah, great, thanks. You were filming the whole time? No wonder we lost. - Always be filming, it's the YouTube way. - Hey, everyone's just excited to be here. No one ever does stuff like this. Let's go save the restaurant, come on. - Hey, listen. I'm sorry for snapping at you, man. I didn't mean it, you
are more famous than me, in certain circles, like boba shops. - It's all good, man. Why do you think I hang
around you so much? I'm trying to get my clout up too. Maybe the real clout was
inside of us this whole time. - That is the dumbest shit
I've ever heard anyone say, even for a YouTuber. (crowd loudly cheering) Thank you, thank you! Thanks for coming to save the restaurant. I couldn't do it without you. I thought I wasn't famous enough
to do this, but I am, yes! (crowd loudly cheering)
Yes! - If you guys don't think Asian
representation is a problem, just consider this. There has been only one
"Crazy Rich Asians," but there have been three "Air Buds". I'm just kidding, there
haven't been three "Air Buds." There have been 14 "Air Buds." ♪ Rice, rice, all types of rice ♪ ♪ Black, white, purple,
and old man's rice ♪ ♪ We got iPhone rice and wedding rice ♪ ♪ Salt shaker rice, University of Rice ♪ ♪ Rice rap (guns loudly fire) ♪ (crowd loudly cheering) - Is it weird that like
the Chinese language is the only language
where if you're not Asian, just speaking it sounds racist? Like when I'm walking down the
street and someone says like, "Hey ni hao, ni hao, ni hao," I'm like, what the fuck did you just say? And they're like, "Oh, um, hello?" I was like, "Oh, okay. "Carry on." - Recently, I did touch tongues with a stranger's dog, I did, thank you. The owner of the dog, she hated it. She did not like it at all. For some reason I just
said, "Oh, don't worry, "I'm married." (crowd loudly laughing) - My favorite restaurant opened again. I went in, my food was
ready, I saw it on the table, and I was like, "Thank you, sir. "Do you have paper plates perchance?" What, I became a guy from
the Renaissance times? ♪ I'm laughing so hard but stop the gigs ♪ ♪ Don't let a ticket go to waste ♪ ♪ Have a super fun party, girl, E girl ♪ ♪ Anybody, anybody who's watched ♪ ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-da, ba-da ♪ ♪ Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba-da, ba-da ♪ (crowd loudly cheering) - I'm so Chinese that if my kid told me that he wanted to do standup comedy, I would be like, "Are you
out of your fucking mind? "You think you're just
gonna, what, tell jokes "and people are gonna pay
money to come see you? "Also, do you think
there's any chance at all "that you would be funnier than me? (crowd loudly laughing) "Like anyone who's gonna go see you "is definitely gonna see me "before they pick you." You guys are excited to see what Jeremy Lin has generously donated? Wow!
(crowd loudly cheering) - First item is Jeremy
Lin's personal Bible, wow! - [David] $100 in the back? - [Ronny] $100 in the back,
okay, we got guy, 150, 150. - [David] 200, $200. (David and Ronny mimicking
auctioneer speed) - [David And Ronny] 300, 300. (David and Ronny mimicking
auctioneer speed) - Sold, sold to the Asian in the back. (soft hip hop beats) You know, that was actually super fun. - Yeah, it went well, clout secured. - What a weird wedding. But we raised 10,000, thanks. - It's for the community. - So we just have to
settle up the bar bill. - What bar bill? - The community racked
up a $5,000 drink tab. I didn't say it was an open bar. - You better pay up next week. - Wait, I got an idea. - No, no, no more ideas. - The West Coast Asian
internet loved the show and they want us to come to LA to do one. We can take the money and
pay off this fucking tab. - Okay, but this is the
last time we do anything for the fucking community. - I feel you. Yo, what's goin' on, LA, me
and Ronny Chieng are about to do a charity show in
LA to pay off some debts that we may have occurred
here in New York. Pull up, it's for the community! (intense ominous music)
(Simu softly groaning) - Ronny. (light hip hop music)
Pretty cool to see all the people getting screentime on this. Jeremy Lin being an asshole was pretty funny. Ronny is hilarious as always, and Simu not remembering Ronny from Shang Chi cracked me up.
Very funny and very cool to see Atsuko get some screen time too
Your account is too new and has been autofiltered. After you build a reputation as a good faith user in other subreddits, you will be allowed to post here. Moderators routinely review filtered submissions, and approve them if otherwise innocuous. Sit tight, and we appreciate your understanding.
I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.