[music playing] OK, thanks, thanks. No, I'm OK, thank you. [phone rings] RONNY'S MOM (ON PHONE):
Ronny, can you hear me? Yeah, I can hear you. Can you hear me now? Yeah, I can hear you
now, I can hear you then. RONNY'S MOM (ON PHONE):
Why aren't you in class? I'm walking to
class right now. I just shared a list of study
tips on your Facebook page. Why didn't you like it? Mom, you have to stop
posting clickbait on my page. What it "clickbit?" Mom, isn't it like 6
AM in Malaysia right now? [non-english speech] I'm
having a late start today. Have you been studying hard? Mom, it's the first day
of school there's literally nothing to study hard. RONNY'S MOM (ON PHONE): Well,
make sure you study hard because your father and
I spent a lot of money to send you there. OK. And don't do drugs. RONNY: OK. You do drugs? Yeah, heroin and
crystal meth everyday. Where did you learn
about those drugs? Mom, look, I have to go. I'm going to be late, OK? OK. Just pick up when I call
and answer my email. - Don't talk to girls.
- OK. RONNY'S MOM (ON PHONE):
- Don't get drunk.
- OK. - OK.
- Don't tip, they don't need it. OK, I got. RONNY'S MOM (ON PHONE):
- Only use Chinese hairdressers.
- Love you. bye. OK, bye. RONNY'S MOM (ON PHONE): Boil
your water before you drink it. OK. RONNY'S MOM (ON PHONE):
And if you have a cough, don't eat chicken. Mom, coughing has
nothing to do with chicken. And don't get anyone pregnant. No one's getting pregnant. Yes, I know condoms
are not 100% effective. Yes, I know I'm supposed to roll
it all the way down the shaft. I got to go. No, I was talking to my mom. [music playing] Must be the only one
here without a laptop. No, what about that guy? I'm Ronny. I'm Asher. Nice to meet you. NICK: Um, if you guys listen up. Um, my name's Nick. I'm the Activities Officer. Tonight's the first
year pub night and, um, it's a
great opportunity to-- to meet each other and
give us some of these ones. So, anyway, so
we've got the boat race, which is the drinking
game that we do every year. So let me know if you want
to sign up and get pumped. This guy's pumped. Good morning, everyone. And welcome to your
first day of law school. Why are we here? I'm here because this is the
most prestigious law school and I believe if you
want to be the best, you have to learn from the best. Does anybody else want to
answer my rhetorical question? Let's all have a go. You, why are you here? Is this rhetorical? PROFESSOR DALE: You tell me. I don't know. Good answer because the
truth is nobody really knows anything. I'm sorry, I'm going
to have to disagree. Good, I like disagreement. Go on, tell me. I just think that turning up
to your first day of law school and not knowing
why you're here-- that's pretty stupid. PROFESSOR DALE: How do
you feel about that? He thinks you're an idiot. Well, I think it's
pretty stupid to come to your first day of
law school and dress like you're captaining a yacht. PROFESSOR DALE:
This is excellent, conflict is very good. Which brings us to
our first assignment. I want you to write a thousand
words on conflict resolution, based on my book, "Shut Up
and Come Get Some," which is not available in
bookstores but the library does have a copy. [music playing] Hey, we should get that book. You want to team up? Sure. Hey, Ronny. I met this guy last
night, he's such a hater. Hey, Elvin, right? Yeah, that's me. Someone's moving pretty fast. Pleased to meet you, too. I'm Asher. I'm-- Hello. I'm Elvin, this-- Wei Jun. This is Denedict. Denedict? Denedict. Like Dennis mixed
with Benedict? Denedict. NICK: G'day, cobra's You going
to sign for the boat race? I'm not here to get
drunk in a bar, thank you. Aw, man. I thought you'd give a real
international flavor, you know? Bunch of different
cultures getting together to give us some of these ones. I won't be giving
it some of those ones. I want to get that
book, you coming? Hey, I'll join you guys later. Yeah, OK. We'll, leave you
and Cate Blanchett to give him some nice ones, huh? OK, let's go. NICK: What about you, cobra? You like to wrap the
old laughing gear around a couple of froathies? What? He means, do you drink beer? Oh, no. I don't have the liver
enzymes to process alcohol. I become like a
red, sweaty mess. It's a problem. Look who it is,
Mr. I don't know. It's only off the boat race. Oh, no, wait let me guess. You don't know. Actually, I do know. I will not be signing
up for the boat race. Good, because we'd
wipe the floor with you. His family have
won the drinking contest for three generations. So you come from a
family of alcoholics? NICK: What's your team name? Above the Legal Limit. Was Captain Nemo and they
HMS Douchebags already taken? Well, HMS refers
to a Navy ship, while my family's yacht
is a private vessel. So the joke's on you. Point is, even if you
don't want to have a crack, just come down and have a sticky
bit while we seek some peace. It'll be sick fun, bro. What? It means, you're welcome
to come watch the boat race. Oh, oh, OK. Thanks. No wankers, bro. RONNY: Appreciate it.
What? Means, you're welcome. OK, cool. [music playing] ASHER: This place is amazing. What, you never been
in a library before? Well, my town had a library. Well, it was more of a shelf of
books in the back of the pub. And if the book was overdue,
you had to do a shot. That sounds like fun. Yeah, I was a big reader. So where's the law section? Let's see, law, that 340
so we have to go to the 300s. How'd you know that? When I was a kid, my mom made
me memorize the entire Dewey decimal system. Whoa, nerd alert. OK, what's the number
for Russian history? Russian history, that's
general history of Asia, Siberia, so that's 957. We had very
different childhoods. Childhoods. 372. Alright. [music playing] Should be just here, 300. Oh, oh, oh. Ronny and his
girlfriend, Nicole Kidman, are going for a romantic
stroll in the last section. What? No. We're just here to get a book. Good luck. Because we're here
to get the book, too. Why don't we just
it, photocopy it, and then we'll
all have the book? Yeah. Should be right here. I've got an idea-- how about none of you get
the book and all of you fail? What are you talking about? This is the only
copy of that book and I'm keeping it until
after the assignment is due. Why would you do that? Because I don't like you
coming in here and making me look like shit. Then why are you dressed like
you're in a barbershop quartet? It's called dressing for
success so you should try it. You like Ben Sherman
fucked The Wiggles. No, see, it's you who's
fucked because if you don't have the book you
can't finish the assignment. Ah! Just give us the damn book! OK, I guess we won't be
using the photocopier anymore. What's going on here? This is the library,
if you want to shank each other take it outside. Nice work, Ronny. You've dragged us
into you're weak life and got us kicked
out of library. What are you talking about? She's the one who went "Kung-Fu
Hustle" on the photocopier. So what are we
going to do now, huh? You're not taking
us down with you. Dude, Professor
Dale wrote the book. I'll just ask him for a copy. I don't care what
you and Toni Collette have to do, just get that book. Why do you keep calling me the
names of Australian actresses? I call you whatever
I want, Rebel Wilson. Wait, aren't you from Vietnam? How do yo know so many
Australian actresses anyway? I've been a huge fan since
I saw "Muriel's Wedding." Oh, that is such a great film. I know. I still think it's Rachel
Griffiths' best role. ASHER: She so young. ELVIN: Oh, that wedding
scene is so beautiful. [knock at door] Come in. Hi, sir, I'm Ronny, from
your first year class. PROFESSOR DALE:
Mm-hmm, sit there I was wondering if you
had a copy of your textbook. I have, Ronny. I've got loads of
copies of my textbook because the academic
board refused to put it on the syllabus. OK, do you mind
if I just borrow a copy for the assignment? Absolutely not. Why not? Because I want you, Ronny,
to find a copy for yourself. OK, I found a copy. I found like 20 copies
like, right here. And you think I should
just give you a copy because you've asked nicely? Yeah, that sounds
pretty reasonable. Give me your hand. The law is about conflict. Is that a tattoo? Have a look at
this fellow here. This fellow's got the best
left kick in all of the MMA. So what does his opponent do? I don't know. Avoid his left kick? No, he breaks his left
leg with his own left kick. Oh! He takes his opponent's
greatest weapon and he shoves it up his ass. Do you understand? No. I want you to find your
opponent's greatest weapon and turn it against
him to defeat him. [cheering on tv] [music playing] Oh, hey. Did you get the book? No. What happened? I don't know. Hey hey, there. Hey, Cobra. Are you guys still interested
in joining the boat race? Why are you so obsessed
with signing people up to this drinking game? To be honest, we've
only signed up one team. If we don't get
another, we're going to have to pull up stumps. He means-- Yeah, I got that one. I thought you can help make
it a real multicultural event. You know, show people that
smashing beers is something that everyone can enjoy. Look, I'd love to help you
meet your diversity quota but drinking games are the
last thing we need right now. The other team's
going to be so cut. What? The other team? NICK: Yeah, Above
the Legal Limit. Really nice boys, got
the family history-- Actually you know what? We will sign up for
your drinking game. Really? I've got to tell the other team. No, let me tell them, please. I'm pumped, Cobra. You fully pumped? I'm moderately pumped. [music playing] ASHER: What is this place? I think it's a central
hive for stuck up larva before they mature into
full blown assholes. What a bunch of wankers. Is this free? [music playing] You call that a parry riposte? I thought your one two was
going to end in a cha, cha, cha. I think you're lost. The accounting club
is down the hall. No, I'm pretty sure
I'm in the right place. This is the piece
of shit club, right? What do you want, Chieng? Look, I come to
offer you a deal. OK, you know that
drinking game you keep talking on and on about? Yeah, the one
we're going to win. Yeah, here's the thing--
you can't win if there's no one to play against
because they're going to cancel the game, OK? So here's what I propose-- I'll enter a team
to play against you and if we win you
give us the textbook. - So if we win, what do I get?
- I don't know. What do you want? Mouth surgery to--
your mouth is huge. Make him run naked. That's a grand idea. OK, you and your internationals
enter the drinking game and when you lose you have to
naked through Professor Dale's next lecture. Or don't you have the balls? OK, deal. I'll see you later tonight. [music playing] ASHER: OK, listen up. This is called a boat race. You drink a beer, put with
the empty glass on your head, and then the next
person does the same. First team to finish
all four pints wins. Got it? RONNY: Got it. What if you start drinking
before the other person? You'd be disqualified. What if you don't
finish the beer before you put it on your head?
- Disqualified. ELVIN: What if beer--
- Holy shit. You finish your beer
and then the next person finishes their beer.
All right? It's really not
that complicated. Wei Jun, on your
marks, get set, drink. ELVIN: Yeah. ASHER: Sorry, my fault. I should
have said, take a deep breath before you drink and then once
you start, whatever you do, don't take a second breath. This is bullshit. Holly Valens doesn't know
what she's talking about. Tell me why again we do this? Believe it or not, this
is actually the easiest way to get the textbook. And also, if we don't win
the drinking competition we're going to have to run
naked in the next lecture. So you turned
us into strippers? No. We're not going to strip
because we're going to win. Wei Jun, you OK? Oh, oh, it's fine. Is what happens when
we drinking beer. Yeah, like I said, we
don't have the liver enzymes. Guys! The key to excessive
drinking is simple-- you just need to
focus on something you fear and then drink
to make it disappear. Right? Let's try it. Denedict, close your
eyes and find your fear. [music playing] You're wearing shoes inside? Ah! Is that supposed to happen? Yes. [music playing] [growls] Yes, Denedict, very nice. All right, Elvin, your go. PROFESSOR DALE:
Congratulations, Elvin. Ah! [music playing] ASHER: Nice work. All right, Wei Jun, you're up. We ran out of rice, so
I got you some couscous. Ah! I don't want couscous! No one is going to
give you couscous. OK, OK. You're going to be OK. You guys are all going to be OK. Let's try again. Ready, set, drink. Right on. Let's do this one more time. Enough! The drinking competition's
like one hour away and these guys are
getting shitfaced. OK, maybe let's
leave it there. You guys have one
hour to sober up. Personally, I recommend a
kabob followed by a long vomit. [music playing] Hey, Cobra. You still up for giving
a few of these ones. Up for it? We're here to win it. What's your team name? I don't know, guys,
what's our team name? I don't give a fuck. I'll put that down for now but
you might want to workshop it. [music playing] How you feeling? Not very pumped. What's wrong? What's wrong? Yesterday, I got off a
plane really looking forward to studying in a new country. Now, today, to do an
assignment, I have to drink beer faster than a bunch of idiots. Sounds like you need a beer. No. I don't even like
the taste of beer. Fine. You just need to
focus on you fear. Yeah, I tried. I can't think of
anything scary enough. All right guys, it's
time to get really pumped for the boat race. [cheering] Now, let's give a huge welcome
to Above the Legal Limit. [cheering] [music playing] And their opponents, our very
first international team, I Don't Give a Fuck. We should have
workshopped that name. [music playing] I can't wait to see
the shape of your balls. You got some issues, man. NICK: OK. On your marks, get set, drink! Ah! [cheering] Ah! BAR PATRONS: Chug!
Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! Chug! [cheering] Ah! [cheering] BAR PATRONS: Oh! Don't take a second breath! [slower cheering] BAR PATRONS: Chug! Chug!
Chug! Chug! [music playing] Cheers, Chieng. ASHER (VOICEOVER):
Focus on your fear. Ronny, don't forget to roll
it all the way down the shaft. Ah! [cheering] Oh, my god! [cheering] [chanting] Guys, as your winners your team
captain has earned the right to a attempt the legionnaire. Wait, what? Thank you, Aaron. The legionnaire has
been attempted by some of the greatest drinkers in
the history of this university, with only one fatality. What is this? Team captain, please approach. BAR PATRONS: Asians,
Asians, Asians, Asians, Asians,
Asians, Asians, Asians, Asians,
Asians, Asians, Asians, Asians. No, I don't want to drink it. He hates beer. BAR PATRONS: Boo! No, I don't hate beer. Well, OK, actually
I do hate beer. Come on, it tastes terrible. It tastes like someone drank
piss, and vomited it out, and someone else ate that
vomit, and pissed it out again. Like, seriously, does
anyone here actually like the taste of beer? We won the boat race,
what more do people want? But are you going to drink it? BAR PATRONS: Yeah! Drink, drink, drink, drink,
drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink,
drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, drink, Ah! [music playing] [cheering] Oh glory, you good thing. BAR PATRON: Who-hoo! Thank you. Hey are you OK? You didn't have to drink that. ASHER: Yeah, I did. If you drank that beer, the
only thing pumped right now would be your stomach. You sure you don't want to go
hang out with your friends? I think I am hanging
out with my friend. [phone ringing] Oh, boy. RONNY'S MOM (ON PHONE):
Ronny, why haven't you called? Oh, sorry, I've been busy. Don't lie to me. I saw you drinking on
your Facebook page. RONNY: You're always yelling. RONNY'S MOM (ON PHONE):
I am not yelling. RONNY: Yeah, this is exactly
why dad left, all right? RONNY'S MOM (ON PHONE): Your
mother's talking to you. [music playing]
Watched the series on CC app and loved it.
Is comedy central going to be putting more shows on youtube? So much better than going through the app.
I'm sad he's basically too big now to make a season 2. This show is great if anyone hasn't seen it yet. Also, you should trust my recommendation because I have very very basic bitch taste.