Ron Carpenter - The Difficult People (Part 1)

[Music] well since we're just a few weeks into the new year I thought I would prepare you for difficult people hi I'm Ron Carper I want to welcome you to Ronnie Carpenter television you know what I just believed so much that God always exceeds himself and there's always something God can do that it sees the last thing he did but things stand in the way and the things that stand in the way are usually people you know Galatians Paul asked him he said who has bewitched you and the Bible also said in Romans 8 who can stand to get your side it's it's never a war it's always a hoot and if we don't learn how to deal with difficult people in life the chances are our lives are going to be pretty miserable because you can't control everybody else the only thing you can control is you and your response this is a powerful powerful series I'm about to unlock and unveil to you and we've gotten a ton of feedback on it and I can't wait to get into the meat of it let's see what God's going to say are you ready we can be successful but we've got to learn how to handle difficult people Matthew 7 16 through 20 you will know them by their fruit I could stop right there and dismiss y'all you will know them by their fruit the men gather grapes from thornbushes or figs from thistles even so every good tree bears good fruit and a bad tree Bears bad fruit a good tree cannot bear bad fruit nor can a bad tree bear good fruit every tree that does not bear good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire therefore by their fruits you will know them how do I know if there'll be a good friend how do I know if I need to date them how do I know if I take the relationship to the next level how do I know if I'm supposed to marry this person how do I know if I open up my heart and allow them and how don't you will know by their fruit you cannot fool me forever the fruit will eventually tell me what kind of tree it is you can fool me for a day you might fool me for a week but eventually the fruit and the tree are going to run parallel and it's gonna the fruit tails on the tree the fruit gives the identity of the tree away I may not be able to tell by looking at the tree but eventually the fruit will tell me what's inside you so you will know by the fruit let me really read Galatians 5 verses 22 through 24 but the fruit somebody said you'll know them by their fruit saying you'll know them but the fruit of the Spirit is love joy peace long-suffering kindness goodness faithfulness verse 23 gentleness self-control you will know them by their fruit the fruit what fruit I know them by what for the fruit of the Spirit is love joy peace long-suffering kindness goodness faithfulness gentleness self-control Lord blessed the reading of your word in Jesus name and everybody said amen alright we talk a lot to each other in this church a neighbor on both sides say get ready get ready get ready right here here we go disappointment is the child of false expectations if you've ever been disappointed it's because you put an expectation on something or someone and it failed to meet it or they fail to meet it if I were to pass a microphone around this building the van majority of people in our to ask what are you what do you look for you would you look for in a spouse if you decided to get married one day what kind of things would you look for in a good friend what kind of things would you look for in a guy you wanted to date or a girl that you'd like to go out with I guarantee you these are the kind of things that would happen after 30 years in ministry I would hear this every other thing I want somebody fun loving how long someone adventurous I want someone with a sense of humor I want someone who loves intellectually stimulating conversations I want someone who's in touch with their emotions if you heard all these things and I could go down the list and we probably would be guilty as a church for naming the same type traits however none of those things I just listed have to do with character none of them if you go to proverbs 31 and read the virtuous woman you won't find personality traits you see character traits if you go to first Corinthians 13 none of those are a feeling all of them are lists of commitments now we start talking about these personality traits and then we have these personality traits which for the most part especially some of our younger generation is what we look for to qualify those we are in a relationship with and then we wonder why in the end we end up so heartbroken and then after a heart broke and wind up so bitter and then we end up numb and then we end up emotionally shut down then we end up we won't let anybody else in our life and they'll end up alone and all these other things begin to happen to us and it all started with we've got our lists of people that we won't say God you go get them for what they did for me but did you ask something of the relationship it was not designed to give because when you ask something of a relationship and you put weight on it but it was not designed to hold up you're the one that's going to get hurt and then we blame them for hurting us as though they are bad people when you may have put an expectation on the person that God never designed them to be under and you are the one that gets disappointed and it doesn't mean they're a bad person it means we had a misplaced expectation and the disappointment was sure to follow can I keep going right here the Bible says that when we accept Jesus in our heart that the Holy Spirit comes on the inside of us and lives that's right he lives on the inside of us the Bible says that the Holy Spirit brings with him two different things he brings first of all gifts he brings gifts the Bible talked about what her what her testimony Bible talk about tongues the interpretations of tongues novel talks about prophecy prophets just aren't on stages prophets just aren't weird people God can give you a moment a gift of prophecy and God can give you a snapshot of your son or daughters future and then bring you back into reality and let you know a decision you may need to make now to protect their tomorrow that's the spirit of prophecy bub said he'll give you words of wisdom he'll network and light you into things you don't know the Bible said he'll give you words of knowledge he'll give you information that you couldn't learn it came from the inside instead of the outside the Bible says that God will give you gifts of faith but some people that just have the faith to believe God for anything and you and you think they're just more spiritual than you but it's a gift it's a gift of faith no sisters gifts of healings there are people that can do anybody that get around and touch them some tumors gonna dry up and these is gonna break and a curse is gonna come off them they just walked around with that gift and there's other people with gifts of miracles and all these things come with the Holy Spirit I don't have a Holy Spirit altar call right now why would you not want that kind of Holy Spirit that lives inside of you and gives you these kind of gifts however here's the dilemma the nature of the gift does not show me how much you love God it shows me how much God loves you my gift is not for me my gift is for you my gift is to strengthen you encourage you grow you mature you and your faith and make you great and help you reach your god-given potential and so God gave me this gift for you and if I ever started using it on myself I have been abused my gift abuse so my gift is for you the problem is when you see me and my gift you say he must really love God but me operating and my gift tells you nothing about my love for God because God gave me this gift oh I'm pretty real good right now so when you see people operating in a great gift and people are getting healed but their lifestyle does not seem to quite live up to the measure of the gift we get confused but you gotta understand when God gives a gift he said his gifts and his colleagues without repentance when he gives it he doesn't take it back so the gift shows you how much God loved them and particularly tell you how much they love God but the Bible says the Holy Spirit has something else mom says he has fruit whole different story fruit is the result of intimacy I just read to you the fruit of the Spirit those are character traits that a an intimate relationship with the Holy Spirit develop and they are impossible outside of intimacy so it's not when I see you operating in a gift I know how much you love God but when I see you loving and peaceful and joyful and kind and gentle and long-suffering and self-control when I start seeing those things on the inside of you then that's what shows me how much not God loves you that shows me how much you love him motorcycle is there just blowing in the wind mom I think he's the one his head off when you found out what he when he's mean that head gets real ugly oh mama she the one she sent in heels and she walking so I just love her ankles let me do ankles get ugly quit when you find that [Applause] character assessment everybody can have my gift everybody everybody had Jesus's gift he ministered to the multitudes everything he had he poured it out but that was his gift Jesus gave his gift to anybody who would crowd and multitude around him Bible says he healed all that were sick and afflicted of the death all of but he only gave His life to twelve everybody can have my ministry everybody can have my gift but everybody can't have me people will take the fact that you're a Christian and use it against you I thought you were Christian I thought you supposed to love people I do love you but I don't trust you [Applause] thank you you can get somebody that actually crazy and you begin to honor them and you can change the whole way that they're acting in the building you can change their behavior by honor you can access greatness by honor you can take somebody that everybody's given up on them and you can begin to honor them living a life of honor is something that everyone should want to do in this series the code from Ron Carpenter you'll learn how honoring others attracts a blessing from God take a treasure and say I'm gonna let you honor something that you don't like make you honor somebody the head this seven message series is available for your gift of $40 or more call in the next 10 minutes and will include free shipping and at mp3 download guard call now or visit Ron Carpenter calm or write to the address on your screen I've been commanded to love everybody I have no choice I've been so touched by love it's an overflow and it flows out into all my brothers and sisters and I've been commanded to love you but I have not been commanded to trust you Trust is earned and Trust has to be qualified for and Trust is qualified by character and character has to do with intimacy with God so when you have a deep personal relationship with God the fruit of the Spirit becomes the children or the offspring in other words everybody begins to look at those character traits and they begin to qualify you as somebody that is a safe person and somebody that you can open yourself up to and be in a relationship with now here's the difficulty with the relationships if I take off running to my left and your right I want to straight hit into that wall if I miss the doors and I just take off running straight ahead I'm gonna hit that back wall same if I go to my right and your left why because when this building was built it was built with boundaries because it was built to house people the freeways and interstates they have boundaries there there's curbs there's barriers there's walls there's want to keep you in a proper Lane yards have boundaries if you live in a condo and apartment there's walls between you and your neighbor boundaries now having said that here's the problem with relationships they have boundaries too but they're invisible so they have to be drawn internally you have got to avoid disappointment who is this person what is my relationship to them and what are the boundaries that define that relationship you don't tell secrets to an acquaintance I'm amazed at two people that will go through a divorce and share one cup of coffee at Starbucks and start pouring pouring pain and hurt out on the table that they have just met that person has not qualified for that information they do not deserve that level of employment okay so mail didn't clap I'm gonna come back a minute I'm going over here they've not qualified you don't tell secrets to an acquaintance well then where what's the difference between acquaintance and a friend and where's the line when hip they crossed over you don't sleep with friends yes California we don't sleep why because you go get hurt because you are putting weight on that relationship it was not designed to support your heart is going to get broken and there's a load of pain headed your way that is the most intimate connection in the world God says I have boundaries for it it's called a covenant but why are the boundaries there for your safety because somebody loves you and somebody cares about you and somebody is sick of seeing you sit in the room and cry because your heart was broken again every relationship has lives who is the person how have I defined them what classification and then what are the boundaries that defined it you do not go to work to get emotional support your job well that don't work for that company [Applause] your job is not meant for your emotional support do you me tell you what your job is pay me pay me I give you my skills I give you my knowledge and I trade it because we're trying to accomplish something as a company hey it is not your counsellor you go to hook up you placed an expectation that it was not designed to meet constituents sounds like a non-biblical non-church your constituents there'll be people that will come in and out of your life because of constituent they're not in it for you they're in it because they're for what you are for and the cause brought you together it was a constituency that created this and they came together and they were for the same thing they wanted to reach the same goal they wanted to change the world with a mechanism and they accomplished it but they're not all best friends they came together because they are for the same thing you should work with a group of constituents where you are all for a common goal but don't place more on it than it's designed to give these relationships are usually temporary and usually once the goal has been accomplished many times the relationships dissolved because they were not into you they were into what you were for there's comrades flip it they're not into you either but they are against what you're against your comrades against cancer you are comrades against poverty you are comrades against homelessness you are comrades against addiction what brought us together we don't even know each other's name but we are here because there's a cause what what should we be here we should be constituents and comrades I'm here as a constituency because I am for everybody in the Bay Area knowing Jesus Christ as their personal Savior and knowing the blessing and the life in the kingdom that we're talking about and I'm against sin and I'm against hurt and I'm against depression come on and I'm against addiction and I'm against brokenness and I'm against weariness numb against tiredness numb against poverty we are constituents together in the kingdom but here's this third one a confidant James chapter 5 put it on the screen if you would please confess your trespasses and other translations as weaknesses to one another and pray for one another that you may be healed Wow well I don't want to tell that stuff to people I barely know I certainly don't want to go into an arena and grab a microphone and just spray my folks all over the arena so what is he talking about the Bible says from the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks the mouth is where the heart ventilates itself do you know what most depression is yes there's clinical depression yes I'm sure there's chemical things and I'm not qualified on any level to debate that but as a minister do you know what my experience most depression is and they don't care how much money you have or don't have or what color you are depression does not discriminate depression is most of the time this right here I never got to talk I never got to talk it started as anger and anger short and seasonal because anger is too intense to be sustained so it starts as anger and because the anger never was ventilated you internalize it and that becomes a state not a season a state of depression because something happened to the heart and the mouth never let the pain breathe because we don't have confidence we don't have people who have qualified with enough fruit that I can sit down and tell you the thing that aches in my soul and know that you're not going to turn around with that information at a letter later date and try to harm me with it confidence are not normally flashy fight you back you might even say they're boring but you can take the secrets of your heart and let your heart breathe because they have such fruit and character that when you speak of your weaknesses it falls on the ears that care button on lips that never repeat they become the place where your heart nurses itself back to health because you're confident and you're confident they qualified to hear that information and you told them and you went away with a heart that was lighter because they're the kind of person that makes you feel safer maybe just maybe were hurt broken damaged wounded depressed and the list goes on not because they're bad people but because we never qualified them for the access we gave them living a life of honor is something that everyone should want to do in this series the code from Ron Carpenter you'll learn how honoring others attracts a blessing from God it's amazing how God will take a treasure and say I'm gonna make you on or something that you don't like I won't make you honor somebody that haven't treated you well and lock something on the inside of them that could turn around and bless you this 7 message series is available for your gift of $40 or more call in the next 10 minutes and will include free shipping and at mp3 download guard call now or visit Ron Carpenter calm or write to the address on your screen [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] you know what guys I just I come to you at the end of these programs every time because as you know we are a viewer and listener-supported and I come for two groups of people number one to say thank you for those that have been doing this with us a very very long time it's been a wonderful journey I mean we just a little camcorder in the back of a plywood box with some carpet stapled to it that was our TV ministering just some local programming whenever we could buy it whenever we could afford it - now you've allowed us to take the message of Jesus and his kingdom to the whole world who made that happen God made it happen and God used you and I am grateful and I won't tell you thank you for all of our supporters I need your prayers my family needs your prayers this ministry needs your prayers even our new assignment from our pastor in our broadcast area in the bay area of California we believe we're even here to unlock regions and do things for God that has never been done before I want to thank you for your giving I don't think you feel support and thank you for your help I want you tell your friends about us and let them watch and bring them in because we believe that we're not only just talking about Jesus but the message of his kingdom and when you get his kingdom all these things are added unto you I want to tell all the although all of you who may be watching and maybe you've never given to a ministry maybe you've been distrustful I want to ask you to give God a try and give us a try you know why because the fact is when you give when you sow you are giving into the ground of the only one qualified not everything promises return but God says to the giver that he will be responsible to make sure that he gives the increase and whether you're a first-time giver or not maybe it's a one-time gift whether you'd like to be a part of the family kind of partner I invite you in we'll put our circle of love and I have this gift to give back to you for whatever your first-time gift is of whatever amount it doesn't matter we just want to say thank you for letting us be a part of your life and we do not take that lightly hopefully the word that is going forth is making an investment in making life better amen I also want to invite you to connect with me on Instagram and connect with me on Facebook and all the other things you can do our chores undie through our website go connect with me on Twitter cuz we're always talking or saying we're praying God's giving me things I'm doing staff meetings doing all kind of stuff that we do live and I want you to be a part of those things too and also know that everything you hear here all of them are available on our online bookstore by CD or dvd and if you go get the run carpenter app and download it we've got a special librarians 20-some years of teaching called the vault check it out a lot of good things were happening here and this is gonna be a great year in your life I just prophesied over you where you agree with me that this is a year of more all right I'll see you again real soon join us every week for another exciting message from Ron carpenter and until then visit us online at Ron carpenter calm and discover encouraging resources to help you reach your greatest potential in your Christian walk and when you visit consider partnering with our ministry team to help us take this life-changing message to the world our goal is to take the message and Ministry of Ron carpenter to a worldwide audience but we can only do it with your help and don't forget to connect with Ron everyday through social media thank you so much for being a part of this ministry and we'll see you again next time for another challenging message with Ron carpenter [Music]

Channel: Ron Carpenter

Views: 70,896

Rating: 4.8594437 out of 5

Keywords: rwoc, ron, carpenter, redemption, world, outreach, greenville, sc, san jose, ca, church, jesus, kingdom, the, code

Id: fNABkZilSv0

Length: 28min 30sec (1710 seconds)

Published: Sun Jan 20 2019