How to deal - difficult people in our lives by Rick Warren 2017

past 8 weeks we have been dealing with how to deal with difficult people and I've called the series you make me crazy and what I want to do this week as we conclude it and as I introduce a new series that we're going to begin next week I want us to summarize kind of what we've learned about what God says about unhealthy and healthy relationships and I'm gonna take you through some steps that kind of summarize what to do with the crazy makers in your life and I'm calling this message keeping the crazy makers from making you crazy and before we look at those steps I want to just pause and review what is a crazy maker now I could give you a list of a hundred different kinds of people but let me give you six of the most common so pull out a pencil and write these down and as I write them down don't look at them okay don't embarrass them but these are different people that we have that we have to work with we have to live with we have in our neighborhoods on our community's soccer games and Church everywhere and and how do we deal with these different kinds of people let's look at them number one is what I call demanding demanding crazy makers these are the little dictators of life the little Napoleon's the little Saddam's they're they're bossy they're pushy they're controlling in every area that they're intimidating they dominate every conversation they turn every conversation into a into a power struggle they make unrealistic demands on your life on your time on your schedule and they just push push push they are demanding and it drives you crazy demanding crazy me are the little dictators the second kind is what I call disapproving disapproving crazy makers and these are what I call the nit pickers and they are picky picky picky picky picky they are highly critical your best is never good enough they always want more they tend to be negative they tend to be judgmental they are unpleased Bellaire perfectionist and they love to point out your mistakes and the disapproving crazy makers no matter what you do it's just not good enough and that drives you crazy the nitpickers the third kind of crazy makers are what I call deafening deafening crazy makers because they're loud they are loud mouths I call these people the megaphones of life and they're loud and they like to talk and they like to talk and aloud often 120 decibels if you get a megaphone on on the phone you're not gonna get off for at least 15 minutes because they just keep talking and talking and they talk you into surrender to finally just go you hold up the white flame I give up okay I give up you talked me into the ground and they absolutely love to argue these are the megaphones number four the destructive crazy makers the destructive crazy makers and these are the people who have uncontrolled anger and I call them the volcanoes and we've all had volcanoes in our lives it's very easy to see them you know you never know when they're gonna rub them when they erupt you know it they've got a temper like Mount Vesuvius or like Mount st. Helens and they blow up and they explode and when they do it leaves scorching hot lava burning everything in the path if you have a volcano in your life you tend to walk on eggshells part of the time the family can live in fear of when the next blow-up is going to be there's a lot of tension and the burn casualties are quite high the destructive crazy makers the volcanoes numbers five I call these people that can discontented discontented crazy makers discontented crazy makers get their feelings hurt very very easily they're very touchy they're very thin skin and they whine a lot I call them the crybabies and we all know crybabies they they have a daily pity party they invite themselves and they like the moon in the morn and the poor me and the chronic complainers they've got a martyr complex and they get their attention by whining and when they whine they kind of get that nasally sound whining all the time and it just grates on you like your fingernails on a blackboard these are the crybabies the discontented crazy makers they are never happy and then number six a sixth kind common crazy maker or what I call demeaning demeaning crazy makers and these people are the smart mouths and the smart mouths are the ones who are always running off with the mouth and they're rude and they're insulting and they use caustic language and maybe they cuss but more than just cussing and complaining and Kazakh language their bubble burst errs they like to bust your bubble they like to tear your dream down they love to deflate you they love to tear you down they get particularly in telling you how you don't measure up and they can be disrespectful and they can be Petty and they can be mean and these are the smart mouths and by the way people who are rude all the time they're rude because they have enormous insecurities the more insecure a person is the more rude they tend to be now what I want to do this weekend is I want to take you through a summary of verses of what the Bible says about how do you deal with these kind of people in your life and I'm gonna give you six steps I've discovered in my own life that each step tends to get a little bit harder than the one before the first one's hard but second one's even harder and the third one's even harder but this is the way you deal with difficult people this is the way you counter the crazy makers in your life according to the Bible all right let's get right into it number one the first thing you need to do with a crazy maker is this refuse to be offended I refuse to be offended and what I mean by that is I don't get personally no matter what they say no matter what they do no matter how rageous their behavior is no matter what they insult me with or how they act or react or the way they look with their body language when people are rude they are revealing themselves not you they're telling you what's in them not what's in you when people are mean when people are controlling they're not saying anything about you it doesn't say anything about you it says about who they are it tells you what their problem is so don't be offended by it it's not about you they're just a crazy maker now the reality is there's a lot in life you could get offended by in fact there's a lot of things in life you ought to be offended by I get offended by a lot of things I'm offended by injustice in the world when people go to bed hungry at night and a lot of us have so much I'm offended by racism I'm offended by a babies whose lives are taken before they're even born I'm offended by exploitation of sex and women who are exploited for sex trafficking and things like there are a lot of things you ought to be offended by but when it comes to personal relationships God says get over it as much as you can try not to be offended by other people in other words maneet too you could have such a thin skin everything everybody does offends you and you're gonna be unhappy most of your life so you've got to learn that emotional and spiritual maturity is largely determined by how you treat those who mistreat you let me said again how mature you are emotionally and spiritually is largely revealed in how I respond how I treat those who mistreat me and how I treat those who misunderstand me do i do tit-for-tat do I get even if they hit me I hit him back if they hurt me I hurt him back they insult me I insult back they get angry me I get angry back then I'm no better than they are emotional and spiritual maturity is determined by my reaction to the people who try to hurt me try to can you know the demanding the demeaning that confusing all of those people the destructive and and disapproving people in my life how do I handle though kind of those kind of people one of the keys to happiness in life it's not the only one but one of the keys to happiness in life is you need to develop a thicker skin and just not be offended by so many things now what you need to pray is say God give me a tender heart and a tough hide give me a tender heart and a tough usually we get the opposite we get thin-skinned and tough hearted God said no no no you should always have a tender heart but you need to get a little bit thicker skin so not everything just sets you off not everything offends you you don't always get upset no matter what people say when somebody looks cross-eyed at you or you know on on the freeway somebody flips you off it doesn't bother you you don't get upset about it somebody is rude to you a clerk or something like that a clerk who's a jerk and and you know that you know they're just having a tough day you need to get a little bit thicker skin now how do I do that how do I keep from taking personal offence at the crazy makers in my life how do I keep them from being offended by these people who are disapproving and destructive in the meaning and disconnected and demanding all how do I get how do I not get upset about these people well one of them is just consider the source they're a crazy maker and try to ignore it as best as possible the Bible says to do that look at this first verse proverbs 12 16 let's read it aloud together when a fool is annoyed he quickly lets it be known but wise people will ignore an insult circle the word wise if you're wise you ignore an insult if you respond to an insult with an insult you're a fool foolish people give out what they get he says that's not good that's what that's not wise that's dumb little poor white when a fool is annoyed he quickly lets it be known in other words somebody hurts me I heard of my back they they make a tacky statement of me and I make a tacky statement back when a fool is annoyed he quickly not to be known but wise people ignore an insult why do I speak nor an insult because what they do is they look behind the behavior now we've talked about this three different times in this series that when you're dealing with people who are offensive when you're dealing with people who are irritating people who are crazy makers in your life you need to look past the behavior to the pain because everything we do is motivated by something and when people are hurting others it's because they're hurting on the inside hurt people hurt people and that they they've got a fear they've got an insecurity they've got a painful past they've got a pressure in the in the current that maybe you don't know about and one of the ways you can learn to not be offended by other people is to not look at their behavior and to just look passing up I wonder what causes them to be that way to be that short with me today get out of bed on the wrong side to have a fight with their husband or their wife today are they going bankrupt what's closet what's the pressure what's the thorn in their foot that's causing them to be mean to everybody else around them and you look past the behavior and look at the pain and and and and and try to understand now the more you understand somebody's background the more grace you're gonna show them the people who you find it most difficult to deal with the people who irritate you the most are people at the office who are obnoxious and you know nothing about their background so you don't kind of many slack you don't know that maybe they were molested you don't know that maybe they were orphaned you don't know that maybe they've gone through three marriages and the husband walked out on you three times you don't know their story and so you're not cutting him any slack you're not showing him any grace here's what the Bible says proverbs 19:11 a man's wisdom gives him patience it is - it is to his glory to overlook an offense you're gonna get offended why cuz your wisdom gives you patience when you understand some of his background you understand the current stress it's easier to show grace that gives you patience and then you overlook the offense what I'm talking about here is real love in fact the Bible says refusing to be offended by other people it's actually an act of mature love it shows you how much love you've got in your heart the more love you have in your heart the harder it is to offend you on a personal basis the less love the more insecure you feel the easier it is to offend you now the Bible says in Proverbs 1012 love overlooks the wrongs that others do love overlooks the wrongs that others do the more filled I am with love the less I'm gonna be upset with you when you are demanding or demeaning or disapproving or whatever so this is a first step I must choose to refuse I choose to refuse to be offended and I don't take it personal I don't take a person pastor Tom's gonna come and talk about the next two steps number two you don't wait for an apology before you forgive them you don't wait for an apology to forgive them I think many of us we've got some crazy maker in our life who has done some crazy hurtful thing to us or maybe even more importantly to somebody that we love and in our minds we think well I know the Christian thing to do is to forgive and so I will I will forgive them as soon as they give me an apology the right kind of apology then I will forgive them the problem with that is you're still holding on to the hurt the problem with that in fact the truth of it is they may never ask you for forgiveness they may never say I'm sorry because they're a crazy maker they don't get it and because they don't get it they may not even realize what they've done and so you end up stewing over something holding resentment over something that they've long ago forgotten and it's eating you up inside never hold on to a hurt because resentment tears you up resentment they don't even know about it it's not hurting them it's hurting you resentment is like you drinking poison hoping it's gonna kill them it doesn't work it never will work so you just say even before anything else happens I'm gonna decide right now I'm not gonna wait for this to happen or they have to happen I'm gonna decide right here right now maybe even tonight I'm gonna forgive them I'm gonna forgive them Oh question is it smart to ignore God's directions no it's a dumb thing to do because God gave us directions knowing who we are he made us he created us and God gave us directions loving who we are he wants to make of our lives the best that he can so if I ignore his directions it's always a dumb thing to do it's always an illogical irrational thing to do it always creates self-inflicted pain that person who hurts you they are facing that because of their sin against you so why should you double that up by you ignoring God's directions about forgiving about letting it go you put it into God's hands forgiving doesn't mean you forget that it ever happened you're still gonna remember it means you put it in his hands and just stop holding on to the resentment and you also realize that some of those hurts that you and I are holding resentments over there are many times when people act foolishly I've done this towards others and you have to if you're honest about it we act foolishly towards other people and we don't even realize what we've done so you're holding the resentment and they have no idea they've been supposed to ask for forgiveness jesus said this even in the most extreme of circumstances look at this next verse in the outline Luke 23:34 he's hanging on the cross and Jesus says Father forgive them for they don't know what they're doing they don't know what they're doing not everyone who is a crazy maker in your life who bugs you or even hurt you realizes what they're doing oftentimes they're responding to their own hidden pain and they don't know that they're hurting all these people around them so what do you do when I have a hard time forgiving a crazy maker and I think we all struggle with this sometimes we all struggle with forgiving when I have a hard time I remember what a hard time I hit God and forgiving me and not accepting his forgiveness and I remember the great gift of his forgiveness I remember a verse like the next one in your outline Colossians 3:13 says you must make allowance for each other's faults and forgive the person who offends you remember the Lord forgave you so you must forgive others you might circle that verse it's not a bad one to memorize just to carry with you throughout the day because you're gonna have a chance to use it no doubt now that phrase make allowance is the Greek word an echo it means to bear with to endure to be tolerant basically it means cut people some slack you want people to cut you some slack you cut them some slack Jesus said blessed are the merciful for they will receive mercy I want God's blessing in my life in your life and one of the ways that you receive that is by being merciful and it also keeps you from being torn up by resentment so you don't wait for an apology to forgive them number two and then number three and as Rick said earlier it gets harder and harder as we go along number three is refuse to gossip about them this one's tough with crazy makers you refuse to gossip about them because let's just admit it when there's some crazy maker in your life and they've done the craziest thing and they've done it again it is almost impossible not to get in the car pull out the cell phone a minute you call somebody you won't believe what they just did I got to tell you in fact you're texting as they're doing it let me they're doing it right now they're doing this to me that's what we do with crazy makers who want to tell somebody else we want affirmation from somebody else it's the most difficult thing in the world to not let go of it to not say or to let go of it and instead we want to say you won't believe what he just did you won't believe what she just did it may feel good it does feel good let's admit it when we say that but it's unloving and the Bible says love even your enemies proverbs 17:9 says disregarding other people's faults preserves love but gossiping about them separates close friends what's gossip one definition is gossip is sharing information with somebody who's not a part of the solution or a part of the problem they don't have nothing to do with it but you bring them into it so you can feel better about yourself let's just be honest about it gossip in its essence as a form of retaliation you're getting back at them without talking about them we're talking to them but instead you're talking about them behind their back and it is incredibly destructive gossip is incredibly destructive to churches is incredibly destructive to families is incredibly destructive to businesses its destructive to your life it tears you up it separates the closest of friends and the worst thing about gossip is when you start gossiping about this crazy maker it means they win all of a sudden they're controlling your conversation they're controlling your emotions your whole day is about gossiping about them instead of talking about some good things some great thing that you could be doing or it's happening in your life don't let them win don't let the crazy maker win by choosing gossip first Peter 3:9 says do not do wrong to repay a wrong and do not insult to repay an insult but repaint with a blessing because you yourselves were called to do this so that you might receive a blessing that's the point you can gossip and miss out on God's blessing but instead if you choose not to look what happens by choosing not to gossip not only do you get the conversation in the right positive way in your life but you receive God's blessing in your life I want you to receive God's blessing your life and one of the ways we do that is by saying no to gossip that verse that says the verse that says don't insult somebody who insults you back makes me think about a number of years ago a member of our church gave me a book it knows that I collect books for my library and it was called 3,000 witty put-downs and I read it from cover to cover and laughed uproariously it was one of those laugh your head off book the only problem is as a pastor I can't use it all these great really rep part a you know rejoinders and I can't use it because the Bible says don't repay an insult with an insult now these are the steps to dealing with the crazy makers in your life I refuse to be offended I'm not gonna take it personal I'm gonna I'm gonna consider the source it's crazy maker and you may have all kinds of problems that I don't even know about and I'm not going to wait for an apology I'm gonna I'm gonna ask forgiveness I mean it offer forgiveness even before you ask for it even if you never ask for it because you might not and then this is even harder stomp said I'm not going to gossip I'm not gonna go talk about you to somebody else step number four is I refuse to play their game after I've done these other things I refuse to play their game you see crazy makers love to argue and they love to debate because they love to get your attention now if you fall for this trap you're gonna start thinking if I could just clearly logically explain to them what they're doing then the light would come on in their mind and they would realize how self-destructive and how inappropriate their behavior or what they're saying is and if I could just reason with them then they will say well yes thank you for helping me see that thank you so very very much but here's the point crazy makers don't come to their position through reason so you can't reason out of it it doesn't work you can't talk people out of a behavior they didn't talk themselves into they got into that behavior because of an emotion not because of logic its reasoned motivated reasoning motivated reasoning means I come up with a reason for doing something because I feel this way and so I need a reason to do it the motivation actually comes from the feeling not from the reasoning and what I've discovered is is that people are gonna either like you're not like you and if they don't like you you can't make them like you and and if they don't if they want to figure certainly they're gonna think that way and all of the logic in the world isn't gonna change their mind in fact if somebody has a motivated reasoning for something then what's gonna happen is when you show them how they're wrong they just get mad at you show them the facts they know you got the facts wrong even the facts you think that's gonna change of course it's not gonna change him it was the facts that caused him to make that decision anyway they were making the decision based on emotion but you refused to play their game now there are lots of examples of this in the Bible that shows us how not to do this but the master of it was Jesus Christ himself Jesus did not play games with people there were crazy makers in Jesus life they were called the Pharisees they were the religious authorities of those days and they hated Jesus and they had motivated reasoning so they're always trying to trap him they're always trying to get him to say the wrong thing they're always trying to get him to make a mistake they're always questioning always probing always playing games with Jesus mind games Jesus simply wouldn't play their games let me give an example here on your outline in Matthew chapter 22 verse 18 and 19 the Pharisees plotted a way to trap Jesus into saying something damaging sounds like some reporters I know Jesus knew they were up to no good and he said why are you playing these games with me why are you trying to trap me see Jesus wouldn't even fall for it he would not be pulled into their crazy making games he wouldn't be drawn into an argument that he knew was gonna go nowhere another example of this is Jesus before Pilate Jesus says before Pilate Pilate starts asking all these kind of tricky questions like so you say you're the King of the Jews what is truth who are you really and it libel says jesus said not a word to Pilate he wouldn't even answer him wouldn't even answer him on some of the questions why he said I'm not gonna play your games you're just trying to drag me into an argument you see as I said people believe what they want to believe about you and if they want to believe bad things they're gonna look for bad things about you if they want to believe good things they're gonna look for good things about you prejudice has its own reasoning and you can't reason with prejudice you can't talk people out of prejudice from a logical sense because it's an emotionally based decision so save your breath don't play games don't waste your time now you can't talk people out of positions they didn't arrive at on a logical basis let me give you another example Paul Paul is just like Jesus Paul would never get drawn into Word games or playing with the crazy makers playing their little manipulative games 2nd Corinthians 4 - look at this verse Paul says we reject all shameful and underhanded methods in other words when Tommy tricks we don't play games we do not try to trick anyone and we do not distort the Word of God we tell the truth before God and all who are honest know that he said I'm not gonna play your games you may try to be crazy but I'm not gonna play your games Jesus said it like this let your yes be yes and your no be no you know the reason this is important is because crazy makers use conflict to get your attention everybody has a deep need to be loved we all have a deep need for approval if you cannot get approval then you'll get attention either do it or bad you can see this in teenagers all time if they cannot get the approval of their parents then they're gonna get attention some way through all kinds of bizarre behavior or bizarre dress or bizarre lifestyle or whatever they're going to get attention either negative or positive because you're gonna get I'm gonna get your attention one way or the other so you know that I'm valuable and when people try to get your attention through conflict they're just trying to hook you now this used to not be such a big deal but now with the internet it's very easy to get hooked cuz you're read the long on there and somebody makes some kind of off-the-wall statement on the internet and you go I'm gonna tell them and in the background that person's thinking got them I just took the big one and every bone in your body wants to fire off a quick reply to that blog or to that email or to that statement and I'm telling you don't don't play the game you're just getting hooked a couple quotes I read this one from Neil Stevenson today he said arguing with anonymous strangers on the Internet is a sucker's game because they almost always turn out to be self-righteous 16 year-olds possessing infinite amounts of free time and they got a whole lot more free time than you do and they'd be happy to go on and on and on and on in this argument as long as you want them to now two hundred and fifty years for the Internet Thomas Paine remember him from the American Revolution said this to argue with a person who has renounced the use of Reason is like administering medicine to the dead in others it's a waste of breath that he said just don't play their game don't get sucked into the argument don't get sucked into the debate don't get sucked in just walk on by proverbs 26 verse 21 says this just as charcoal and wood keep a fire going a quarrelsome person keeps an argument going you got it he says you know this versatile likes to keep the argument going they want to engage you in an argument they find their meaning they find their purpose they find their value they find their attention in actually getting you upset don't play that game don't don't get drawn into it don't be hooked into it now how many people does it take to argue it takes to write okay now if one of the people walk away what happens to the argument the fire goes out the Bible says here just as charcoal and wood keep a fire going a quarrelsome person keeps an argument going but if you don't join in the fire goes out don't engage a quarrelsome person now those of you who are business owners you got a small business you got one or two or three employees or maybe you're a manager over 15 or 20 in a larger organization most people have no understanding how badly disharmony among a staff destroys productivity disharmony among the staff will destroy productivity faster than anything else and so if you are an employer you need to fire quarrelsome people quickly it's like get the bad apple out of the bunch quickly fire quarrelsome people quickly why you know why because quarrelsome people are contagious troublemakers infect others and all of a sudden one complaining becomes two complaining and then three complaining and then five complaining and everybody's complaining you need to fire the person quickly the Bible says to do this over and over in many ways you see the rest of your team if you're an employer the rest of your team deserves a peaceful work environment to not be stressed out having one troublemaker constantly stirring everything up causing contention causing conflict causing gossip you need to it to them as the leader to remove that person out of the business now let me give you two verses these aren't on your outline so write them down proverbs 22 verse 10 proverbs 22 verse 10 says this in the Living Bible throw out the mocker and you'll be rid of tension fighting and quarrels you want to get the tension the fighting and the quarrels out of your business throw out the mocker the person who's the troublemaker the quarrelsome the the crazy maker who likes to argue let me give you another one Titus 3:10 Titus 3:10 this one's actually advice to pastors and it says that if there's a troublemaker in a church you give them two warnings than the pastor is to put him out of the church we graciously invite you to go visit some other Church you just dismiss them say look you had two warnings but you're causing chaos you're causing conflict and the Bible says pastor you're supposed to take them out now you refuse to play their game number five the fifth step in dealing with troublemaker is you refuse to cave in you refuse to cave in to give in to their demands to what they want the crazy maker who is demanding or demeaning or derogatory or deafening or destructive or you know discontented or disapproving whatever we're talking about here the crazy maker you're on you refuse to cave in you do not allow them to manipulate your life love is not allowing people to manipulate you that's unloving to you it's loving to God it's unloving to them love is not giving in to manipulation that is not the loving thing to do now many believers just don't get this what I'm about to talk about so I'm gonna camp on this for just a minute because a lot of Christians think that the Christian way to respond to irritating or crazy-making people in the life is just let them have their way in other words just passively acquiesce I submit I let you have your way I I give in to the crazy makers I let them run all over me I I lay down and I become a doormat there's not one verse in this book the Holy Bible that says God wants you to be a doormat not one verse now you say but wait a minute aren't we supposed to forgive didn't we just talk about love and forgive us yes we did but forgiveness and trust are two different things let's review it again we've covered this before forgiveness is instant and it is by grace Trust is by works and it takes time the illustration I gave you before was if a woman's husband is beating her he's alcoholic and in the drunken rage he beats his wife and she kicks him out of the house and he comes back that night and he says will you forgive me she has to forgive him yes I do forgive you first God commands it second she's been forgiven third she's gonna need more forgiveness in the future and fourth she doesn't to have that resentment stuck in her in her life with church her more than it hurts him she has to forgive but he says will you let me back an ass oh no that's a different matter forgiveness in instant Trust is earned does that make sense and that's why people don't understand when a leader has a moral failure some people say well we should forgive and just let them go on no no forgiveness instant yes but you don't restore them to leadership instantly they need to go through a restoration process forgiveness is instant Trust is built over time and forgiveness does not mean you hurt me I forgive you but I'm gonna keep on letting you hurt me those are two different very two different issues now the Bible teaches us not to cave in to crazy makers let me give you some examples let's say you're asked to violate your conscience at work and you know it's wrong and you feel pressured and manipulated to do it what are you gonna do let me give you another example what if you're asked to work a schedule where you never get to go to worship anymore what are you gonna do what if you're standing by the water cooler or you're with some friends on the side of a little league game and you hear a disparaging remark about a Christian you're gonna keep your mouth shut what are you gonna do you're gonna cave on that you're gonna wimp out on that what does the Bible want you to do look at the next verse Romans 1416 do not allow notice do not allow do not allow what you consider good to be spoken evil of that's what the Bible says the Bible says speak up don't cave in you see many Christians are afraid to speak up and they are letting all kinds of people get away with murder in their life and that's not what God wants you to do people say wait a minute aren't Christians supposed to be meek yes we are but meek is not weak those are two very different things meek is incredibly strong weak is incredibly weak we are to be meek people not weak people what is meek the word meek is a Greek term that actually means it was a term used for training a wild stallion once that wild stallion is trained it is broken it is brought under control so they can be ridden by the master that stallion that was wild is called meek it is now a meek stallion now has that wild stallion lost any of its strength absolutely not that horse is still just as strong as it was when it was wild and unbroken meek does not mean weak it means brought under control bottled up for the Masters use and that's what it means to be meek I'm not a weak person I'm a strong person but it is under control of the master I don't just go off and you know fly off on an honor on a tangent because I'd like to meet means strength under control for the Masters use and that's what God wants you to be you know Paul actually chided the Corinthians that he started a church in a place called Corinth Greece and he wrote two letters to him first and second Corinthians and he Chad's the Corinthians for being wimps with the bullies he says you just keep on giving in to all the bullies in your life what's wrong with you guys you keep letting people intimidate you you just cave in all the time look at this verse up here on the screen 2nd Corinthians 11:20 says this you let people make slaves of you and cheat you and steal from you why you even let them strut around and slap you in the face that's the contemporary English version let me read the same verse in the NIV new international Paul says you guys in Corinth you even put up he says you just put up with anyone who enslaves you or exploits you or takes advantage you just put up with it what are you thinking or pushes himself forward or slaps you in the face let us Paul saying God does not expect you to be a doormat that is not a christ-like thing meekness is strength under control do you know Paul wrote an entire book about this Paul wrote an entire book of the Bible about not being pressured manipulated and controlled by the expectations and the opinions of other people it's called the book of Galatians Paul wrote the book of Galatians for this very problem Paul started a church in an area of Greece called Galatia and after he left some of these crazy-making religious crazy makers these Judaizers these pharisees came in and said oh yeah you know everything paul taught that's right on about grace but you need to add these things you got to keep this rule and keep this law and keep this rule and you got to do this tradition you got to do this and they loaded people down with so many do's and don'ts they were suffering and suffocating from the load of legalism and Paul writes some a letter and goes what are you guys talking about where'd your freedom go Jesus Christ set you free from all that junk you're set free from the law he said Jesus set you free from the fear of death and Jesus sets you free from the pain of bitterness and Jesus set you free from the guilt of your sin but he also sets you free from the expectations of others you're not living for anybody else's plan for your life what happened to you have you so quickly gone back into legalism here's what he says look to the next verse Galatians 5:1 we have freedom now because Christ made us free so stand strong do not change and go back into the slavery of the law as you've been set free and listen friends as your pastor who loves you I just want you to know that even today there are these Judaizers as these religious Pharisees religious people who want to box you in into all kinds of rules and regulations and restrictions that are unbiblical and they're on the radio and they're on the Internet they're in books and I'm telling you don't let anybody steal your freedom the freedom of grace that you have been given in Christ this not only happens with you it happened with Jesus happened all the time people were all the time trying to restrict restrict Jesus and and and and they said Oh what Jesus does offends us cuz you know he you know he doesn't follow all those little bitty rules on the Sabbath that we made up and they then they got so upset about that in Matthew 15 verse 12 the 14 the disciples came to Jesus and they asked him Lord do you realize you offended the Pharisees by what you just said now imagine this here's the disciples coming to the Son of God Lord you want to reconsider this one I mean what you just said that was a little radical it was a little over-the-top it was a little edgy Jesus you might want to tone it down you're talking to religious people there do you realize Lord that you offended some religious people you know what Jesus response to that was look at the rest of the verse Jesus said well you guys you know every plant not planted by my father will be rooted up so ignore them ignore them circle that star that underlying it ignore them Jesus is saying ignore the legalists who try to bring you under religious bondage don't allow them to do it I'm not gonna play your game and I'm gonna refuse to cave in he says ignore them now remember I said this two weeks ago even God can't please everybody and only a fool would try to do what even God can't do I can't please everybody you can't please everybody nobody can finally there's one more step you need to know this is the most difficult of all when it comes to crazy makers always take the high ground always take the high ground always do the right thing whether they do it or not if they insult you you treat them with kindness if they're unloving to you you be loving to them if they are resentful to you you be forgiving to them if they're mean to you you be nice to them you always take the high ground no matter what but crazy makers do always always always take the high ground now you cannot control what other people think about you you cannot control what other people say about you you cannot control what other people do about you you have no control over those issues but you do have 100% control over how you respond and that's your choice and you can be better and respond with grace and love and kindness and that pleases God you know there's a well-known pastor who probably for at least 20 25 years has been a constant vocal critic of Saddleback Church and me I have never once said a mean evil or even slightly critical thing about it I won't even mention it I won't even tell you what his name is I have refused for 25 years to ever criticize him back I just won't do it and the other day on the internet somebody asked me on a public forum said this guy says this this this this this and this and this and this this is what he thinks of you what do you respond to and I said this what he thinks of me in no way controls what I think of him and I have nothing but the utmost respect for him now that's my choice that's my choice he can't control that he can control what he says but he can't control my attitude and I refuse to let him make me an enemy I'm designing all I'm do it and so this is what God says to do take the high ground now the classic chapter on taking the high ground with crazy makers is Romans chapter 12 and so I want to close with three different verses from Romans chapter 12 Romans 12 verse 14 he starts with this ask God to bless those who persecute you yes ask him to bless and not curse now you may be sin erect I don't have anybody persecuting me okay let's cross out the word persecute and write in the word makes you crazy okay ask God to bless those who make you crazy yes ask God to bless them not curse them the people who irritate you the people who make you crazy friends this right here that verse right there is the definition of real love shoot real love isn't loving somebody who's lovable it's easy to love lovely people like you see I should love people like me because I'm cool you can love people like you because you're cool real love loves the unlovable real love is loving the unlovely real love is loving the person who at that moment is spitting in your face you're not backing down you're not playing their game but you're also not letting them fight fire with fire and you are loving you were responding with love that is real love now in the next verse is Romans 12 17 and 18 it says this if someone has done you wrong do not repay him with the wrong try to do whatever everyone considers to be good do everything possible on your part to live in peace with everybody and then the piece de resistance is verse 21 of Romans 12 where he says this do not be overcome by evil but overcome evil with good now what happens if I actually follow what the Bible says to do with crazy makers because this is not the way you're taught in school but you're taught in our society as somebody punches you you punch him back and you hit him harder and don't get mad get even what it what if somebody in my life who is demeaning destructive discontented you know demanding disapproving all this person in my life and I refuse to be offended and I don't wait for an apology I just go ahead and automatically forgive him the moment they hurt me and then I make a commitment I'm not even not only just gonna forgive him I'm not gonna gossip about him I'm not gonna talk about them to other people but I'm gonna refuse to play their game and I'm gonna refuse to cave in but I'm always gonna take the high ground and return love for no matter what they throw at me what happens when you do that you get the smile of God on your life proverbs 16:7 the last verse when a man's ways are pleasing to the Lord he makes even his enemies to live at peace with him Wow as your pastor who loves you I want that verse to be true in your life I want your ways too so please the Lord that God makes even your enemies to live in peace with you

Channel: Lowe Alfie

Views: 76,348

Keywords: Cross, Love, Word, Pastor, Grace, Bishop, Life, Church, Gospel, World, Pentecost, Apostolic, Bible, Prayer, «Holy Spirit», «Jesus Christ», Worship, Preaching, God, Healing, Rick Warren 2017, How to deal with difficult people in our lives, Lord, Praise

Id: XeOuHTu7HMQ

Length: 52min 2sec (3122 seconds)

Published: Thu Nov 24 2016