Dealing with Difficult People | Jeremy Foster

man what up what a weekend we have already had I just want to welcome everybody in if it's your very first time here thank you so much for coming my name is Jeremy along with my sweet wife Jennifer and our 87 children we get the I don't really don't have that many kids but it's five but feels like 87 we get the honor being able to pass they're here and right now not only are we welcoming in our Memorial campus and our additional seating and everybody watching online we're also welcoming in our Katy campus and our Cypress campus come on let's let them hear us up until now they've been having their own worship services with amazing bands they have incredible worship teams an awesome dream team at both of those campuses awesome Kevin awesome campus pastors pastor Kevin Kevin pastors the pastor Kevin and pastor Devan apparently in order to be a campus pastor at Hope City your name has to rhyme with Evan so we're looking for anybody with Evan 11 or Evan whatever anyway that's a ridiculous joke don't laugh at ridiculous things like that and it'll go shorter today um anyway we're going there here and I'm glad that each other every one of you guys are here why don't you right now I'll turn to somebody next to you and say you look nice some of you laughed when you did that it makes it a little less believable I want to tell you I'm really fired up I'm gonna jump into it just a little bit today but I'm really having to use some restraint next weekend I'm starting a new series all of our campuses and it's entitled the secrets of Jesus and and Jesus really didn't have any secrets he kind of lived out loud but because of the culture there are things that we don't understand that someone from a Jewish background or a Middle Eastern background that understands the first-century culture and how they thought then would see something even more than what we see on the surface here's what I believe about the Bible I believe the Bible means what it says and says what it means and usually there's something a little deeper and while I was in Israel for 10 days my mind was born there were moments that I was just like what and so I want to give you all of those moments in the month of March so come ready to take notes come ready to learn some things that you didn't know about Jesus to experience some things that you didn't know that you could experience i'ma show some pictures and some video and it's going to be fun y'all ready it's coming it's gonna be a good time I'm excited about it now this weekend we finished our series entitled silence the call and we've been talking about how to deal with difficult people so if it's your first time here and your friend invited you now you know what um when I look at when I looked at the graphic that our team developed for this it's it's somebody dealing with a phone call like have you ever gotten a phone call from somebody that you're like God and you don't want to decline it because then they'll text you me like why did you decline my call so you just have to silence it and it was funny because it's easier now to block somebody's phone call that it used to be back in the day I saw I mean that actually described how we used to have to do vodka some ice vodka nine years Osama take it off the hook how many you guys remember answering machines not voicemail literal machines that answered the phone for you and Millennials you don't know what that's about back in the day we actually had to have a machine and it had two tapes remember it was two types and the first tape was the tape that you recorded your voice message on and sometimes your parents would let you record the message remember that and they would they would delete it not long after you recorded it because it was all I sell ridiculous like hello hello hello I said machine leave a message beep babe you know and then it would beep in your dad is like what's wrong with you you know and then people would leave a message and it were recorded on the other tape and you couldn't really screen calls the only way you could screen calls was like let it ring all the way through and then let them start talking be like oh hey what's up bro how's it going oh he's screening cause like yeah you know but then the people you didn't want to talk to always knew that you were screening calls you know what I mean cuz they were like pick up the phone I know you stand-in there I just drove by your your car is damaged 7-eleven on the pay phone right now pick up the phone like difficult people they were hard to deal with in they're still hard to deal with the Bible gives us an outline on how to deal with difficult people in Romans chapter 12 and here's what it says it says this if it is possible as far as it depends on you everybody say me live at peace with everyone now there's two things that I want to draw out of this verse of scripture it's kind of a recap of what we have to understand and then kind of telling you what we're going to deal with today the first thing is it doesn't it doesn't tell me depend on them it says as far as it depends on you so everybody has to understand I want you to say this boundaries begin with me boundaries begin with me I can't blame my lack of discipline on your bad influence boundaries begin with me so I have to develop boundaries in my life that will help me get where God has called me to go so the most difficult person that you're gonna have to deal with more often than not is you you're the most difficult person that you know you lie to yourself more than anybody lies to you ever been on a diet you're gonna die for like seven days and then you're like I need chocolate no you actually don't need chocolate chocolate is not a need I want chocolate and then you'll say something like I did I've done good I deserve chocolate see you're lying to yourself you're the most difficult person that you deal with okay so when you get yourself under control it helps everything else in your life listen you have to understand I've got to learn how to sell feed I've got to learn how to pour into my own life so that I grow I've got to learn how to set my own boundaries the second thing that you can see here put that scripture back up if you don't mind Mandy the second thing that you can see here is it simply says this if it is possible what does that mean I love that the verse of scripture says is because that basically means with some people it's gonna be impossible and we're gonna talk about how to deal with impossible people today and how you should handle them in your lives because all of us have people that are takers I encouraged you last weekend to label people now if you're brand new you're like this is weird that's kind of mean because we don't want to label people let's talk about rude labels I'm talking about labeling people's givers and takers in your life because you can only be around so many takers over time more withdrawals than deposits means that I'm gonna go bankrupt and there are many of us who are emotionally bankrupt and spiritually bankrupt this is why you have to learn how to pour into your life to grow and to get stronger now the book of Galatians gives us it's kind of a it's kind of a conundrum but it also helps us understand how to help other people and how to help ourselves but I'm going to show you the conundrum in this verse of scripture here's what it says brothers and sisters if someone is caught in a sin you who live by the spirit this is means people that are that are in in good standing with the Lord they have a good prayer life they walk by the spirit not after the flesh you live by the spirit should restore that person gently love that it says carry each other's burdens everybody say that come on all campuses say carry each other's burdens and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ if anyone thinks they are something when they are not they deceive themselves a whole lot of preaching in that each one should test their own actions then they can take pride in themselves alone without comparing themselves to someone else that's so good but then here comes the conundrum for each one should carry their own load now we just said carry each other's burdens but now it says carry your own load so which one is it and the answer is yes it's both and the way I want to show it to you is it's simply like this there are things in your life that are backpacks and there are things that are boulders there are things that God designed you to carry on your own you're supposed to carry those things and there are other things in your life that you cannot carry by yourself wisdom is knowing the difference the challenge with many of us is whenever God puts a backpack on us we don't want to bear that but there are some of us who can't grow and move forward without the balance of a burden on our back there are some things that are your they are your job and your responsibility to develop do you realize this is your job to develop a prayer life I can talk to you about a prayer life I can encourage you to get a prayer life but if you don't actually develop a prayer life whose fault is that that's your fault God doesn't have any grandkids Samuel I don't know man I don't have to think about that well think about it nobody inherits a walk with God my mother was a praying woman so whoa no she was a praying woman but you actually have to develop your own prayer Allah I can't go to heaven on the coattails of my mother's prayers now my mother's prayers can affect my life but at some point I have to understand that God doesn't have grandkids we're all first-generation we are sons and daughters God never pulls out his wallet even let's just vote look at all my grandbabies he doesn't do that we are sons and we are daughters you have to develop this idea that there are gonna be some burdens in my life that I have to carry there gonna be some hard things all of us are the vast majority of us in here have lived long enough to be able to say Amen to this there are things that you went through that you didn't want to go through you didn't like going through it you wish you weren't going through it but on the other side of it you say if I didn't have that I wouldn't be where I'm at right now I thank God that I went through that cuz I wouldn't be able to stand here Jennifer and I we if you're here long enough at all you're gonna hear our testimony we've been married 17 years we've got five kids I love her more today than I have ever loved her before I mean life is good but it was always good the first five years of our marriage were horrible in fact the first two years were really bad and then we separated for two years not because the infidelity we loved each other we just didn't like each other we couldn't live together was horrible we had two kids we passed them back and forth it was terrible I wondered oftentimes why am I going to everybody all the church people had an opinion all the church people I had enough I tell people often times I gave my life to Jesus when I was five but I didn't really need him until I was 25 on an old linoleum gym floor pounding out a relationship with God saying god I don't understand this but I trust you and now I wear that pain in my past well because it's what balances me and moves me forward into the few I'd never be able to appreciate what I have now if I had to go through what I went through there are some burdens you're supposed to bear by yourself but then there are things that you are not designed to carry on your own you have to have somebody in your life that comes along and says listen you can't pick this up by yourself the challenge comes in when you and I are sitting there going I got this I'm good I'm an ama I'm okay I'm okay and we strain our spiritual back and we make our spiritual knees weak and we break our spiritual ankles and we're never able to walk into what God has called us to walk into because we wouldn't let anybody help us with things that overwhelmed us worth the six-month anniversary of hurricane Harvey and I learned a few things in that that it was going to be a lot longer than what we thought getting through it there are many of you that are still going through pain from hurricane Harvey and you have to at some point you have to realize hurricane Harvey wasn't a backpack it was a boulder and it messed up some areas of my life that I cannot carry on my own you know one of the hardest things was was to get some of y'all to let us help you how you doing we're doing good blessed and highly favored house was nine feet underwater what can we do for you God's gonna come through yeah we were sitting on his behalf we're trying to help you know the Lord's gonna come no no no no I got this I got Wu I got this when you don't got this well brother the Lord will never put on you anything more than you can bear is not in context that's out of context and if we're going to be a strong Church then we have to be a word contextually accurate Church the Bible never said God will never put on you anything more than you can bear notice how quiet it is right now because you're like I just told somebody that this week that is a very prideful way of looking at our life and saying anything that comes at me I can handle it when that's not what the Word of God says the Word of God was very specifically speaking in the book of Corinthians about temptation and the writer said you will never be tempted beyond what you are able to withstand because God will provide a way of escape but there are things that are coming to your life that will crush you if you're not careful in fact I can tell you everybody under the sound of my voice at some point you're gonna go through something that you can't handle because you gonna die it's an encouraging weekend at Hope City I mean can you imagine if the Apostle Paul lived his life like God will never put on me anything more than I can bear and then they killed him oh he couldn't bear that God will never give you a life that makes him unnecessary they're gonna be things that will crush you if you have to learn how to trust God and understand that he'll pick you up and he will help you but you're gonna have things that you go through that you can't handle by yourself I'm preaching good on a Sunday here's where the problem comes in the problem comes in when I think my backpack is a boulder and I give what is my responsibility to carry to you and then my backpack becomes bitterness because you won't bear a burden that I was designed to carry I'm supposed to develop my prayer life not you I'm supposed to learn how to be a good husband your that's not your responsibility that's my responsibility and so we know how to handle ourselves we have to carry our burdens and then we have to have have other people who help us carry our burdens but then we have to learn how to understand when somebody's trying to get us to carry something that they're supposed to carry I want to help people in this weekend we're talking about how to deal with people who are impossible I want to help people but you can't help everybody who needs help you can only help people who want help there are some people that I want to help but it actually doesn't help them it hurts them and ultimately it hurts me if I'm not careful I'll follow Jesus long enough to know this I'm not him I came out Jesus Jesus so there are some people that I can love there are people that I can help but I can't change they have to decide they want to change on their own and they have to get God in their life to help them Jesus encouraged us to give and receive honest feedback there are some people in your life who you just need to be honest about and they need to be honest with you can I tell you this there's some people in your life who don't need to be in your life in fact they're not even supposed to be in your life but you or just try to help them I just try to help them they need to get out of your life sorry oh that's so rude but let's talk about a guy in the Bible named Jonah Jonah was called of God to go to Nineveh and preach through the city and he promptly bought a boat ticket the opposite direction to go to Tarshish and he got on some unassuming sailors boat and in the middle of the sea all of a sudden the storm whips up and starts tossing that boat back and forth and they're getting ready to die and all of the sailors are crying out to their individual gods and they go down and they find Jonah and Jonah's sleeping he's catching some shut-eye in the middle of the storm and they're like hey bro pray to your God he's like I didn't have to it's my God that brought this storm on okay youyou mean we wouldn't be in this storm if you weren't on our boat no no no no the reason you're in the storm is because I'm on the boat well what do we do wouldn't it be great if every person who's bringing storms into your life that God did not design for you to walk through would be as honest as Jonah Jonah that looked at was like yes y'all tossed me overboard this it all stopped you know what they did both Felicia has tagged by Jonah and all of a sudden their life got easier there are certain people on your boat that are bringing a storm into your life that God did not design you to go through but until you try to stop out Jesus and Jesus and you try to stop saving them and you you're saving them from their destiny you're keeping them in your life with their destinies overboard ooh somebody say throw Jonah off the boat your name's Jonah I Love You God bless you we're not talking to you maybe we are you know some people you you can't help them only God can help them Jesus encourages us to give and receive honest feedback Matthew chapter 18 here's what it says in verse 15 if your brothers and sisters everybody say brothers or sisters so that Jesus is not talking to rank sinners he's talking to believers who are innocent he says because this is where the church has gotten is so wrong we've judged everybody outside of the church and not actually help the people who are brothers and sisters if your brothers or sisters sins go and point out their fault that's popular just between the two of you and if they listen you've won them over well Jesus that's kind of rude yeah but you need people who be honest in your life this is the problem we don't like honesty I want to sin and still be blessed but blessings and bad habits don't grow in the same ground you reap what you sow over time it will come back if you keep putting that in the soil I need somebody to look at me and be honest and say hey mm-hmm that's not gonna work you're gonna have to quit all that foolishness I love you but you want this this is one of the reasons why I love my wife so much because you know what she is just honest and I love that if I could get her to preach a weekend here somebody's life would be changed she just honest in fact one time about five years ago we were eating with some family members and some friends and we were at a Japanese Steakhouse and we had our daughter Jillian at the time Jilly was a little under 1 year old she's a baby and and you know the action of a Japanese Steakhouse there's shrimp flying around and flames everywhere in the choo-choo you know a little ricin this is awesome as amazing I was flying everywhere and Gillian was freaking out and her friends had a sixteen-year-old daughter there and Gillian started crying and and our friend's daughter sixteen year old looked right at my wife was like my baby ain't gonna be scared of stuff like this I was like girlfriend I won't let you handle I'm gonna let you talk to her and Jennifer just very kindly looked at I said what are you talking about she goes well I like to be scared I like to get scared it's fun for me so I'm my baby's gonna like to be afraid and Jennifer is like no mMmmm no that's not good and motherhood you you don't want your baby to be free you want to keep your baby safe and this little girl 16 year old said well I'm on I'm gonna let my baby see scary movies I'm well I'm gonna teach my baby how to like scary movies and at this point like the filter was gone from Jennifer and she was like well who's gonna help you with that Satan you and the devil go join up but God has not given us a spirit of fear but I'm loving a power of a sound my raise up a child in a way that he should go and when he is old and not depart from it and the parents are like hey calm down she's only 16 and Jennifer was like that's the problem y'all have allowed her to think this way and nobody's ever called her on it they looked at me I was like don't look at me I'll take an offering girlfriends preaching right now preach she trying to help y'all you preach old girl you I got behind her you preach out the challenges we don't like honest feedback we don't so want somebody to just straight-up tell me the truth Jesus was attacking a mindset of the day that had been allowed to run rampant and many of the religious leaders not all of them but many of the religious leaders were leading very piously and dishonestly and acting as if they had no sin in their life they had no problems in their life they had never done anything wrong they would go into the synagogue and pray prayers like this and make sure that they stood behind somebody or beside somebody who was a horrible sinner and they would pray like this father thank thee that I am a man of God unlike lead guy literally it's in the Bible and Jesus is attacking this way of thinking in fact if you read the scripture whenever he came to the scribes and Pharisees he says woe to you scribes and Pharisees hypocrites all your like whited Sepulcher Zoar pretty gravestones you look all clean and pure on the outside but on the inside you're full of dead men's bones and all impurities hypocrites all hey sews simmer that's kind of rude what was he doing he's trying to help us to understand you can't live a holy life by yourself I need somebody to walk in help me do some of the heavy lifting and say hey you can't keep going the way that you're gonna go this is so important for us to understand bar 16 says this but if they will not listen take one or two others alone so every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses you got to get people around you who are gonna speak into you and speak honestly into you and what is Jesus saying he's saying sometimes you sometimes just you you're not gonna be able to convince them you're gonna have to carry somebody else who's walking by the spirit who can come in and say hey listen I know you didn't listen to me but listen to us we're trying to help you now when you do this you're gonna run into people who say something like nobody judges me don't judge me there's a popular saying only god can judge me let me help you understand what you're saying that means I'll only be judged one time and it's at the great white throne judgment and guess what you don't get a second chance after that I need as much help as I can get getting to the great white throne judgment so I can hear well done thou good and faithful servant I've need somebody to help me well judge not lest you be judged clearly out of context in our culture we say things like we'll judge not lest you be judged and we don't even we hadn't even read the verse of scripture we don't even know what Jesus is talking about we don't know the Bible's addressing in this moment you know what the Bible is addressing in this moment because in first century Christianity and in first century religiosity they were really good at pointing out everybody else's flaws but never even seeing their own flaws and oftentimes whenever we say judge not lest ye be judged what we're really saying is I'm not gonna judge you because I really know what he mighty judge me either so let's just all accept whatever we're doing this is not a popular message and I'm ok with that because at some point you need somebody to adjust your life the problem is we've mixed up judgment and adjustment I need somebody to adjust my life and say hey bro you need to straighten up and fly right that's what my momma used to say I'm adjust your attitude and that she would I need somebody looking here's what Jesus said Jesus said the problem is you you point out the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and you ignore the two-by-four hanging out of your own eye but he didn't say leave your brother alone here's what he said go and deal with a 2x4 and then go help your brother I need people to speak honestly into my life so if you catch yourself saying don't judge me you better check yourself before you wreck yourself I need to get people around me that I trust now I'm not saying everybody but get people around me that I trust who can help me aren't you glad that it hope City all campuses we love everybody we welcome everybody but we don't let everybody be on the worship team can you imagine recipe yeah yeah yeah you'd never come back that you're actually you would come back the next weekend we're in your friend on YouTube this this is crazy you let anybody up there no we have a process you got you got to be saved you got to be baptized you got to go through growth track you got to actually be able to sing it would be amazed at the people who think they can see you know what they made a whole show about it called American Idol yeah y'all remember that therapy did you ever remember watching and they're people that look like they could sing they dress like they could sing they talk like they can sink they actually looked cool and they had all these people with them out in the waiting area their family their cousins their friends holding signs Hollywood bound you go get a golden ticket and they go and even like this dude's fixing to throw down and he's survived he's standing before two or three witnesses and they're all like nah Randy and Paula and Simon and Kate don't like you you know you can't sing you remember watching how offended they would get to see em you can't sing who told you can see my mama said I can think your mama lied you know yeah I never got mad at those people I'm like they just they just can't singing they don't know it you know who I got mad at all those people who are with him all those Liars out there in the hallway and you know cuz you know it at some point they're like hey bro you know he can't sleep I love Ronnie I'm just here to support my boy never you lying who be all lying he can't sing at all listen I saved so many people from going on that show people like I think I'm gonna go on American I was like no you can't see you can't he make the worship team keep your job why cuz I don't want you to mess up in front of millions of people I need people around me who will help me get strong where I am when I make a mistake not help me live a lie until everybody can see you got a problem [Music] mmm-hmm preaching good on a Sunday Jesus goes on in verse 17 he said if they still refuse to listen tell it to the church NASA I got a list of people here we're gonna go to uh plan I'm not gonna do that and if they refuse to listen even to the church what you have to understand is the church in those days weren't like this they had hillside meetings they had gatherings in the town where thousands of people came but the churches were usually house-to-house that's why we have a hillside gathering on the weekend and three campuses but then we encourage you to get in small groups and connect groups around the city so that you can grow so if you tell it to their group if the group if you tell it in front of the group and they refuse to even listen to the group treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector it's kind of rude Jesus until we look at first century Jesus and we look at how Jesus treated pagans and tax collectors do you remember how Jesus treated pagans and tax collectors he was Jesus friend of sinners he loved people who were broken in fact Zacchaeus was a tax collector who was a treacherous man and out of all the thousands of people who were following Jesus at the time clamoring for him to do a miracle he went to Zacchaeus and said come down from that tree I want to go to your house and I want to have dinner today in fact the religious leaders of the day couldn't stand Jesus because he ate dinner with sinners and he goes into the house of Zacchaeus the tax collector and we don't really know what the conversation consisted of but we know when they went in Zacchaeus was one way and when they came out Zacchaeus was a repentant man and salvation had come to his house because his actions changed and you could see the work of God in his life so what is Jesus saying treat them like pagans and tax collectors he's not saying hate on them and be mean to him he's saying categorize them correctly and understand that they are people that you are supposed to influence and not people who you are supposed to allow to influence you understand clearly where they are so many of us surround ourselves with people who are actually taking from us and hurting us spiritually and we haven't realized that we have to confront that and deal with that issue or it's going to affect us listen when helping you is hurting me one of us has got to go and it's gonna be you why because I love my family I value my family I value my faith and if being around you makes me weak then I'm probably not the one called to be around you I've got to get around people who make me strong and then take you in small doses how do we do this well you have to know your limits and you have to let your limits be known you have to know your limits and you have to let your limits be known a boundary without consequences is in a boundary it's just a suggestion I got to know what's gonna happen if this boundary is crossed I had a buddy who was raised in Indonesia his family's Indonesian his father pastored a great church there but he got in all kind of trouble whenever he's in high school and he was in all kind of trouble so his father right after he graduated high school sent him to the United States of America and sent him straight to Bible School so he was all kind of trouble straight into Bible School which is I mean hey that's that's trial by fire okay so he got straight into Bible School and and he actually developed a really strong relationship with God and and he would go to the chapels an old school and they had this old stone Chapel and he would go in at night around nine ten o'clock and he would just pray in that Chapel now there are guys in the college because if you've never been to Bible College some of the craziest people in the world are guys who are trying to be pastors and so they would scare they would scare my buddy at night like run into the chapel and freak him out like hide in between the pews and while he's praying they're like and that's funny in our culture were like oh you got me brothers mess no don't do that again but in his culture I was like wow why would you do that you know it's horrible and this one particular guy loved to scare him and so one night after the third time that he is scared he he scared him and my buddy just looked at him just freaked out because listen there's nothing scarier than a dark church y'all bite during the day it's like oh the Lord is here and then the light starts like Gina hasn't Satan it was scary so tonight he's walking through the church and this dude jumps out and scared him and my buddy looked at him he said you scare me again I kick you in the face it's a horrible Indonesian accent but you get the point and this dude laughed because he's six foot four and my buddy was about 5 foot two and this dude went out and bought a hockey mask that's messed up I'm not saved enough y'all got still working on me you jump out with the hockey man I'm a Papa captain and I'm a pray later you know what I mean like I my mama send you to heaven I'm gonna make sure you're ready to go right before you tell Jesus and the Apostle Paul I said was a pain Texas Church okay pack the Holy Ghost and a handgun come on somebody yeah I'm just playin don't cry for stuff like that so third comes in with a with a hockey mask oh my buddy's praying and he jumps out from one of the pews and this dude my little dude just jumped and did like a flying roundhouse and broke my dudes jaw up under that hockey mask and said I told you I kick you in the face and I am mad at him because he set a boundary and when the boundary was brought cross consequence but at some point you have to know how to have hard conversations and set boundaries on people and this is a hard thing for us to do inside of our culture because I don't want to tell you where you're wrong and I don't want to say anything and so we end up having people in our lives who constantly take take take take take take take take take now I'm gonna help you have these conversations I told you last week I'm going to give you some scripts if you have people who are always raging out have a lot of anger problems here's what you say to them you may not continue to yell at me if you do I will leave the room and end this conversation that's a good word some of you need to take a picture of that because you've had such a hard time dealing with this now the caveat here is you can't look at them say yeah that's not that's not okay maybe there's somebody who's constantly putting pressure on you here's what you say I have a policy of not making snap decisions I need time to think and reflect on what I want to do if you need an immediate answer it will be knows a good word maybe it's somebody who constantly criticizes you here's an example it's not okay with me for you to make comments about my weight please stop if you don't I won't be able to continue this conversation we'll pop a cap that's don't that parts don't that's not in there just don't maybe that's extra commitments they're constantly trying to get you to do something more although this is an important to me I must decline your request for my help at this time or hey listen I need to put my family first I love what you're doing and I wish I could be involved but I just can't right now or maybe somebody who's constantly asking you for money I'm not talking about generosity I'm talking about enabling somebody's laziness at some point you have to say I won't be lending you any more money I care about you and you need to take responsibility for yourself listen some of us and I want to give a caveat here because there's some of you who've gone through a horrible situation or you've gone through a lot of pain and and you actually need somebody to help you in your life or maybe you went through hurricane Harvey or a brutal divorce or you're going through a stage in life right now that's this abnormal and you need somebody to help this is not for you this is for people who are in a habitual habit of taking bailouts for bad decisions at some point you got to stop taking bailouts for bad decisions the closer you get to the age of 30 the more this applies now I'm not against Millennials and I'm never one of those preachers who bags on Millennials and let me tell you why because Millennials built this church Millennials were the early adopters and I love that they helped build this church but over time if you're not careful decisions that are poor decisions bad money management addictions just living for the weekend do I have enough money to get through the weekend you don't have any savings accounts or maybe you've got a syndrome called I just haven't found my niche yet and you're trying to people you're trying to find people who will help finance your failure over time you need to understand here's what happens with that you never grow up the definition of a grown up is someone who can financially take care of themselves and we have a lot of adult children married and single who can't take care of themselves financially because of their bad decisions at some point you have to learn how to pay for your bad decisions and you know why you won't make those bad decisions anymore because you had to pay for that and if that's you you know who you are and you know what you've got to do and if you're a financier of someone's bad decisions you're creating a self-perpetuating problem that will go on to the next and you're not teaching people to stand on their own two feet listen I've got it at some point learn how to bear my burden and if that's you and you're having a problem with maybe it's a child or maybe it's a nephew or a niece here's a script for you that you can say son or daughter we've made a mistake in enabling you to not grow up we're going to draw some boundaries to encourage you to be a grown-up we will no longer fill in the blank I'm sure it will be uncomfortable for you and it will be for us too but we're doing this because we love you now listen when you you got to understand that when you make these decisions you will be misunderstood don't get drawn into the drama okay when I put boundaries on myself it's hard but when I put boundaries on other people especially people who are not used to boundaries you can understand Jesus's first-century these are people who have lived with laws but not boundaries they've lived with commitment but not honesty and he's saying listen whatsoever you think in your heart so it so is he you you have all these laws but it's what's in your heart that matters when you put boundaries on people they're gonna get frustrated at you okay first thing they're gonna do is try to guilt you I can't believe that you would be my friend and say you're my friend and say we're family and then this deny me this I can't believe it and the second thing is they'll trying to manipulate you well if you don't help me then no one's gonna help me and I'm gonna lose my job and then I'm not gonna have any money and I'm gonna live on the street it is gonna be your fault here's what you say to them listen your feelings are real but they're not always true just because you feel that way your feeling is real I validate that feeling but it's not rooted in truth I love you and I will walk through this with you but I will not carry you through it you have to grow you have to learn discipline in your life why are you preaching this at church are we at a counseling seminar here's what I'm trying to get you to understand Jesus was very clear with his disciples because they had a job to do and if they did not learn discipline they could not become disciples and they would never fulfill the Great Commission and do what Jesus had called them to do you have a great purpose have you ever thought about this why didn't Jesus in his short time here in ministry three years why did he circumnavigate the globe and change the whole world why didn't he do that why did he stay in such a small geographical error area here's why because it wasn't his job to physically change the whole world this is why he trained the disciples this is why he poured into the disciples this is why he said listen I go away but I'm going to prepare a place for you but I'm not gonna leave you comfortless I will send the comforter to the Holy Spirit's gonna come upon you and listen go and wait until you be endued with power from on high you can't do it without the power of the Holy Spirit and so they all went and waited in Acts chapter two one through four they were all in one place in one Accord and suddenly there came a sound from heaven as of a rushing mighty wind it filled all the house where they were sitting and cloven tongues like as a fire set upon each of them and they were all baptized with the Holy Spirit and began to speak with other tongues and at this moment the early church is born because everybody outsides like these dudes are drunk and Simon Peters like Babu these men are not drunk as you suppose this is that that was spoken of by the Prophet Joel in the last days says God I'll pour out my spirit upon all but how could these guys who are so afraid for three years they walk to Jesus they talked with Jesus they ate with Jesus they had a first can account of miracles but Jesus taught them he was rough on them he was clear with them he was honest with them he was teaching them to stand on their own two feet and then he gave them the comforter to help them walk that walk because you can't do this without the help of a holy God and all of a sudden we find these twelve disciples 11 of them died a brutal death the only one who doesn't is John and he's banished to the Isle of Patmos but all of them Simon Peter crucified upside down because he would not be crucified the way his Lord was crucified how did these guys who were scared couldn't even admit that they had followed Jesus turn into stalwart bastions of faith making major differences here's why they understood they had to have a system of support they trusted God and they built boundaries in their lives there are some of us who are camping out amongst the boulders because we don't want anybody to help us not even the holy spirit and I'm telling you if you'll yield your life to the holy spirit you'll get in a group you'll go through growth track you'll discover your purpose God's got something amazing for you to do look at what the Lord has done in three years with a team of people who decided whatever God wants us to do we'll do almost 13,000 people have given their lives to Jesus at Hope City in three years to God be the glory thank you Jesus for letting us be a part of this and we'll never take it lightly all across our campuses would you stand with me God's got a purpose for you but you got to build a boundary you can do great things in your life but you got to build a boundary and have hard conversations some of us we need to throw Jonah from the boat and Jonah may may not be a person Jonah may be a situation or a challenge you're dealing with that you need to actually release it into the hands of God others of us we Jonah and we need to be thrown from the boat listen there's no salvation without submission and complete surrender and the most beautiful thing that you can do is when you build a boundary between you and your own will and you give it to Jesus and you surrender your heart to him all across our campuses would you bow your heads and close your eyes for just a moment there are people under the sound of my voice you know you're far from him you know you're not where you need to be right now you know that you're you're on a boat of your own will your own wants your own desires and at some point you need to throw yourself into the hands of a holy God who can truly save you and you stop trying to get everybody around you to save you you stop trying to save yourself Bible says when you acknowledge him he will acknowledge you and so I'm gonna ask you in just a moment to acknowledge him if you know you're far from him and you know that it needs to change with nobody looking around every head bowed every eye closed just a moment tween you and him if you know you need Jesus you know you're far from him I want you to acknowledge him by just putting your hand up you can put it right back down all campuses thank you hands all over the room we're not counting hands this is just for you say I got it I got to make it right Jesus I need you all campuses will you lift your voices will you pray this prayer with me dear Jesus I'm a sinner and you're the only one who can save me and I'm asking you right now to save me forgive me of my sins I give you my past I give you my pain I give you my mistakes the stuff I've been trying to carry that I was not designed to carry I give it to you I'm asking you right now to change me from the inside out and be the Lord of my life in Jesus name Amen come on let's give him an ovation of worship [Applause] [Music] [Applause] listen if you prayed that prayer you said yes to Jesus everybody say next step here's your next step we are a Church of next steps I don't want to leave you among the boulders it's time for us to come alongside and help you become a disciple this is my job it's not my job to save you it is my job to disciple you so if you--if you said yes to Jesus we want you to text hope two seven seven four five three in the age of technology this is the easiest way for us to get the information in your hand that you need now if you want to stop in the lobby at the next steps area you can do that we promise not to cap your information we're never going to text you again we're gonna send you one text it's gonna have information about our growth track and our growth track is designed to help you discover your purpose so that you can walk that out second thing is we'll give you information about our groups everybody needs to be in a group and the third thing is we're gonna give you information I'm gonna give free membership too right now mediacom so you can start studying the word on your own because listen we're never gonna be strong if you just come in here and depend on me I'm not Jesus you come in here it's a catalyst it excites you it fires you up but you need to go and get in the word so that you can get strong for yourself so that you're not depending on a word on the weekend you can get a word on Monday and on Tuesday no Lindsay and on Thursday and you can really develop a relationship with Jesus and operate out of overflow this is our periphery I pray that the Lord blesses you I pray that he keeps you I pray that he makes his face to shine upon you turns his countenance Ouisa that's his favor and I pray that this week God gives you his unexplicable peace that no matter what situation you're in that you sleep better that you're more peaceful in your spirit even in chaos you have peace that's my prayer for you in Jesus name do you receive that come on let's give him an ovation of worship Jesus you are good you did if you need prayer our prayer partners will be available at the front have a great week god bless you [Music]

Channel: Jeremy Foster

Views: 31,306

Rating: 4.8983955 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: ku4PnRFWqZ4

Length: 45min 43sec (2743 seconds)

Published: Fri Jun 22 2018