r/MaliciousCompliance - Well... it's TECHNICALLY secure...

[Music] what's up guys welcome to daily dose of reddit this is your host with the most energy captain zack in today's subreddit malicious compliance all right for our first shot of high octane reddit reading action a story called secure it but leave the keys in it roger that lieutenant warning like most of my posts this will be a long one till you're at the end sorry in advance this happened back in my army days on deployment to afghanistan i was an e4 or specialist i'm pretty sure despite being in for around seven years at this point because i decided to self-medicate for a while before seeking help for ptsd and was a bit of a fixture in my unit after spending my entire army career in this unit despite my screw-ups i was well liked by most of my units and especially by my co or company commander and first sergeant the enlisted counterpart to the co i was what the army calls a deployment soldier someone who you love to have in your unit while deployed but gets a bit uh let's say distracted and has a tendency to get in a bit of trouble when back in garrison or the u.s for too long i was known for being sarcastic a jokester and hard-working when it mattered but tended to be the typical long-term specialist when it came to bullcrap duties in garrison for instance taking a three-month staycation when our o base defense duty but that's a story for another time also important to the story i was also known for rarely being seen without my best friend jacob who i went to basic with and was lucky enough to be in the same unit with my entire career and if we were left without supervision for too long well leadership knew not to let that happen consequences could range from the time the entirety of the barracks living members of the company missed pt the day after st patrick's day due to the three-story beer pong monstrosity we created to well this story to the story i had recently been switched to ops or operations basically they put me behind a desk to be the armorer the guy that makes the pew pews go pew again when they stop pewing from the front line despite having no training and definitely not the best person for the job this led to me being the lone person on the night shift as troops tend to take very good care of their weapons when downrange and if something does break it usually has to go to the battalion armors the guys that were actually trained to fix them so honestly there wasn't much for me to do i won't get into all my duties but it wasn't much it wasn't hard and i was bored cute side note the best nights were when the mind dog assigned to us couldn't sleep and came to the toc or the tactical operation center and i got to play with her most the night back to the story before i was switched jacob was in the lead vehicle which hit an ied he was medivacked out on a chopper but luckily himself and two others were concussed and beaten up but otherwise okay rest in peace to the driver sadly he was only 19 and was placed on life support but it was removed at the request of his parents less than 24 hours later anyway jacob came back to the unit but leadership was wary of sending him back on a mission too soon and he was placed on night shift with me to this day even the co and the pl or platoon leader usually his second lieutenant aka butterbar can't explain why they thought putting he and i together on night shift unsupervised for 12 hours a night was a good idea with both of us being well liked and in our specific company for longer than anyone else there we got pretty brave and there were quite a few antics and pranks pooled on the company leadership most of which were tolerated and laughed about and i can go into detail later if anyone is interested this antic however was not loved by the officers not at all while deployed military cooks serve midnight ciao which is exactly what it sounds like since we were on a larger base this time around our unit was issued a gator think electric golf except where the rear seat and club holders would be there's a small dump truck bed we would use this to drive to pick up midnight ciao and drive back and sometimes other members of the unit would use it for work or just to avoid taking the buses on base well one particular morning a group of lower enlisted took to the gym and stayed longer than usual and when the officers woke up they wanted to go get breakfast only to find that they had to use the bus because the gator was gone jacob and i were berated and told that we weren't supposed to let anyone below a platoon sergeant rank use the gator first we'd heard of this rule but whatever this happens all the time in the army adjust and move on since we were ops we were still allowed gator use so we didn't care that is until one morning i left shift with the gator key still in my pocket and they couldn't find them or use the gator until i showed up for my next shift thus the gator use for anyone but the first sergeant who never used it anyway the co and the exo second in command to the co on the officer side usually a first lieutenant but in this case a butter bar our exact orders were the keys stay in the gator and no one uses it without our permission and i was told off pretty harshly by the xo usually you can get away with a bit of argument with a butter bar the good ones anyway after you've been in the military for a while and this exo was a really good one i guess he was just having a bad day or something i don't know but i knew better than to press my luck and argue there's more than one way to break in a new lieutenant after all so now we finally come to the malicious compliance jacob and i were fairly annoyed with the exo's actions and since we had nothing better to do that night and i sure as hell wasn't gonna let him think that his rank allows him to not give people decent human respect we spent the first few hours thinking of how to teach him a lesson knowing the co had left to the brigade headquarters earlier that day we came to the conclusion that since we couldn't bring the key inside anymore but still needed to secure the gator we need to get creative that night we decided that since we had to be inside and couldn't have eyes on it we'd need to hide it or at least place it out of reach outside on a smoke break we saw the k'nex's or railroad containers for civilian speak they were stacked too high with empties on top and extra supplies on bottom we looked at each other and immediately knew what to do we took turns building a makeshift ramp that night and slowly eased the gator up to the top of one of the stacks turned it off left the keys in and disassembled the ramp luckily we left before the xo woke up and the first sergeant didn't notice it was missing since he never used it getting back that night we were a bit nervous but when we walked in the first sergeant tried to hide a smile we knew we were in the clear then sure enough the exo comes to us with a red face what the hell was that what was what sir don't give me that crap the gator well sir you said we had to keep the gator secure from anyone without your permission but we have to stay inside and couldn't see it since we had to leave the keys in it as well and didn't have any guidance we thought the best thing would be to put it where no one can reach it this is the point the first sergeant breaks down laughing and the exo knows nothing will happen to us so he says okay that was good you had your fun but don't put it up there again roger sir we later found out that they used a crane from the contractors to get it down probably for the best no one got hurt that way still under the same orders with one caveat and inspired by the crane usage that night i took a trip to the contractors and after explaining the situation to them they happily agreed to use the crane to move a barrier from our mortar bunker out of the way long enough for us to fit the gator in then replaced it there was physically no way to get it out without a crane things happened much the same that night except this time we had new orders that we were not to hide the gator at all the first sergeant stayed behind that night for a few smokes with jacob and i laughing but telling us he can't protect us forever but he was interested in seeing how it all plays out so he wouldn't stop us from continuing but tread carefully we thanked him and quickly came up with our new plan but this time waited until about 3 am thinking the exo may have a surprise visit sure enough around 1 we saw a red flashlight beam shine on the gator during a smoke break and while we can't prove it was the xo we assume it was around three we began unscrewing the entire front wall of the toc drove the gator inside and replaced the wall that morning the exo unexpectedly arrives with the first sergeant before we were off shift the first sergeant walks in and laughs so hard he can't breathe hearing a loud sigh outside the door the exo enters stairs at our work and walks out head down without saying a word this time the first sergeant made us undo our work since it would interfere with operations and later that night the exo told us we'd made our point and we even got an apology after that anyone could use the gator as long as it was back by breakfast and the ceo had one hell of a laugh when he returned that's an incredible story i thought it was going to stop with the the k'nex the crate thing i don't know if i'm pronouncing that correctly but i think i am but wow that honestly surprised me because that's just creative this story's called wearing combat boots during nursing school back when i was in nursing school we were supposed to wear black non-porous closed-toe footwear with non-skid soles for our clinical rotations that weren't crocs most of my fellow female students were classic nursing clogs like dasco's encinitas i tried wearing clogs like this in the past and had rolled my ankles too many times to recall so i decided to not go that route for shoes i'm a military spouse a vet myself and have aforementioned crappy ankles so my footwear of choice was a pair of black leather tactical combat boots as a show of support and to make sure i always looked sharp at clinical my hubby always shined up and edge-dressed my boots every evening before clinical the next morning the boots always looked professional they were comfy as hell i could bump my toes into beds without breaking a toe and i could wear them all day without having back pain foot pain or rolling an ankle the same could not be said for my classmates wearing the more traditional shoes like clocks during the first week of my first semester i had an old school nurse as my clinical instructor i say old school because she believed female nurses should still be wearing crisp white uniforms with the stupid starched hats and that our profession lost prestige when we transitioned to scrubs this instructor got such a b in her bonnet about my boots and decided that my boots were out of regulation that she threatened to take it up to the director and have me tossed from clinical thus failing the program there was nothing in the handbook specifically stating i couldn't wear my boots since it just stated footwear which was black well-maintained non-skid and non-porous check check check check furthermore the pair of boots that i wore were meant to be worn by emts so they were waterproof bloodborne pathogen resistant puncture proof oil proof non-skid and had reinforced toes they were just as expensive as dansko clogs and could handle lots more abuse i knew i was in the clear so i decided to keep on wearing them the first day after the instructor commented on the inappropriateness of my boots she did a uniform and shoe inspection to make sure we were appropriately attired i of course was wearing my nicely polished combat boots she failed me for the day based on my boots so i politely objected stating that my boots fell within the definitions of acceptable footwear in the handbook she literally marched me to the director's office like i was a kid caught stealing cookies and demanded i get tossed for the boots failure to follow program rules and disrespect because i objected to her failing me the program director upon further close reading of the program regulations determined that there was nothing that was wrong with the boots they adhered to the standards set forth by the program and that they were honestly safer than most of the shoes the other students were wearing because they were waterproof puncture proof non-skid and had reinforced toes she rescinded my fail and allowed me back into clinical after that i heard not a peep about my boots from any of the faculty for the rest of my program fast forward to graduation i have been wearing my combat boots since i started and i had no intention of stopping especially since many of the vets that i cared for during clinical always reacted positively to them our nursing pinning ceremony the event where we receive our nursing school pins and are officially recognized as nurses has an all-white dress code white uniforms starched white hats white closed-toed footwear the word footwear is key the dress code did not state shoes specifically and i knew this same bratty old batner sees me in the hall and makes it a point to tell me i'll have to get some real white nursing shoes to wear to pinning since i can't obviously wear my black combat boots because we needed to have white footwear and went on my merry way and then wore the all-white doc martin combat boots my infantryman husband bought me as a graduation gift to pinning the instructor stopped me after the ceremony and complimented me on actually getting nursing shoes at which point i pulled up the leg of my white scrubs and showed her my boots the look on her face was priceless edit so this post kind of blew up and a lot of people are asking what kind of boots i wear i wear atack 2.0 8-inch defenders by 511 5.11 you can get them directly from 5.11 or at gauls thank you for all the love you're welcome that's a really good story very charming i absolutely love combat boots i remember when i was in 7th grade i wanted three things okay i wanted combat boots i wanted the seventh generation ipod nano and i wanted a nice pocket knife because i was absolutely obsessed with survival stuff um i had and still have a really cool book it's called the boys book on how to be dangerous and it's got a lot of valuable information um it's kind of cheesy but i i love that book so much and i would actually pack that book with me anytime i went on a plane ride just in case we crash-landed in the wilderness or something like hatchet that book by gary paulsen very good book i love that book survival this story's called i would like ice on the bottom i used to work in a cafe diner as a waitress my job is your typical food runner and sometimes buzz duty if we are understaffed which is always anyway one day we had a group of college kids who most were really nice but one in particular was the clown he started off with dumb jokes when i was writing up orders he responded with food please or a cheeseburger without cheese when asking for drinks he responded with a nice cup of water with ice at the bottom with some of his buddies telling him to shut up and waving me an apology that's nice well no problem buddy you can thank my 7th grade science professor warning me not to lick metal poles when it was cold or it'll stick like in the movies i went back to fulfill this request to the tea i grabbed one of our milkshake tins gave it a quick rinse and packed ice cubes at the bottom i crushed some additional ice and added them allowing the entire thing to form one solid cold clump and being cold enough stuck to the wet interior of the tin i returned triumphantly plopping down the tin in front of the fool water ice at the bottom as per dear customer's request at first he was confused as he only saw the one with the metal tin then i hear him silently mutter holy sh but was cut off by the rest of his group cheering in disbelief that i have conquered his quest he and the rest of his buddies even took a few pictures of the cup and before leaving slipped me a personal tip as a thank you since then our diner special was ice at the bottom as a running joke and everybody new gets a kick out of it when they see it what is with these cute little stories i guess that's what most of malicious compliance is but all three of these stories were so cute and charming and i love them i am so proud of you for doing that opie good job don't forget to like subscribe and hit that bell to never miss an episode

Channel: Daily Dose Of Reddit

Views: 15,249

Rating: 4.9402986 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit funny, daily dose of reddit, daily dose of internet, daily dose of memes, r/MaliciousCompliance

Id: UL9BRxCORLM

Length: 18min 35sec (1115 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 25 2020