r/MaliciousCompliance - I Know How To Build A Computer! OK Sir! - #481

hello and welcome back to another kcc video i'm rob and today we'll be jumping into malicious compliance before we start please hit that subscribe button and click the notification bell so you know when the next video goes live our first story today comes to us from takes no sides you want to talk goals i can do that let's jump right in i worked in sales back during the great recession during that time there were a ton of people looking for jobs and very few jobs to be had therefore employers like mine often saw employees as expendable our shop was visited bi-weekly by the corporate officers they would hold sales data meetings that showed comparisons between how each salesperson did not only was this super embarrassing for those who were struggling to get sales during the recession but you could almost always predict who was getting canned that day by corporate the store itself was run by some pretty cool people but they too were under a lot of pressure to perform we didn't get commission until we justified our minimum wage paycheck if you didn't justify your paycheck you had to be prepared for that private meeting with the corporate rep to get fired your justification was based on the commission rate of the item so for example if you sold a seven hundred dollar item and it paid fourteen dollars commission you just justified fourteen of your pay this understandably put the employees on edge and created a desperate and cutthroat environment often times you would be seconds from closing a sale and another sales person would claim you approached to their client i sold them this one dollar accessory two weeks ago therefore this 400 item is my sale sometimes clients would walk out due to the arguments this created anyway i was a relative newbie that year which worked in my favor i didn't have existing bad blood with the other sales people even if they already saw me as competition so i found a niche in the store maintained the stock and waited for the clients to come to me i knew that clients could smell desperation on my colleagues and would decline help so by the time they reached me i just struck up a casual conversation this worked really well most people were willing to work with me because i didn't pressure them to buy and i asked them about their day i could tell the difference between browsers and buyers but i treated both with courtesy a browser could be a buyer tomorrow so i started racking up sales this way i also noticed that the company required each employee to sell two service plans a week these were gravy and pure commission or in our case justification the problem was most salespeople would wait until closing the sale or ringing up to push these by then the client was unlikely to be open to add-ons i tried a different approach i introduced browsers and buyers to our in-house repair person who was a stand-up guy i mentioned that no product was worth buying without the plan so it was best to factor it in when shopping this worked extremely well i started selling 15 to 20 plans a week this of course set off alarm bells with my co-workers they would see clients after client walk out with yellow service slips with my name on it to them this would only make the bi-weekly meetings even harder i completely understood this now here's the thing could i have kept all of this for myself sure but the workplace was so toxic the commission was so minimal and i felt so bad for these people who were just trying to survive that i started trying to build goodwill it was the great recession after all when my co-worker was in a sales slump or had a bunch of sick days i would ring some of my sales under them they were often extremely grateful for this i also started doing coffee runs for my department even though i was pretty broke over time the toxicity waned and we began tag teaming sales soon other department members would do the coffee runs and we had a much more relaxed atmosphere which helped keep clients comfortable and more willing to work with us the store manager was thrilled with this he started doing coffee runs as well and padded our department on the back as the yellow service plan slips began pouring in however all the while corporate kept showing up asking for more and more even though we actually almost met the previous year's sale pre-recession there was the inevitable terror january anyone who has worked in retail sales knows that january is when returns happen this counted against your justification to make matters worse the economy tightened even more leading to post-christmas layoffs in other fields so a huge wave of christmas returns created a deluge of negative sales that just about destroyed everyone corporate held their first bi-weekly meeting of january and chastised us for not preserving the sales however we all knew that people who were coming to us with returns were straight up apologizing because they lost their jobs and every penny counted within days two of our department members were canned and replaced with fresh-faced teenagers corporate also noted that coffee drinking on shift was unprofessional and that no more drink runs would be permitted even though we only did it when one of us was on break to get the coffee and the store was at or near empty within days nearly all of the goodwill was completely undone my co-workers were back to desperate sales tactics fearful that they would get the axe next meeting by this time i had managed to get a job with another company to get a few more hours on the side i had worked for the first place for about a year at this point and i saw that there was no changing the system they used to bully workers so i asked my second job at night after the corporate meeting if they would be willing to put me on full time to my surprise they agreed full-time work was extremely hard to find with that i had my out i went to my store manager the next day and gave my two weeks notice he was too upset with how corporate basically steamrolled us and he understood why i was leaving over the next two weeks i gave every single sale to my coworkers knowing they needed it more than i did i also divvied up my client list and any unfinished sales to my department members finally this is where malicious compliance came in two weeks went by and i was on my last day it was also the corporate day-to-day however i had strategically asked for early enough hours to be able to clock out before the meeting i hated those things so i clocked out handed my badge to the store manager and began walking to the exit in comes the corporate bigwig he was early he stops me and says can i have a word with you in my office i shrugged and said sure now i was about dead sure he was going to try to lay me off for performance issues according to my data i had sold literally nothing in the last two weeks because i had given it all away however i was already clocked out on this my last day so it didn't concern me he walks me into the reserved office for corporate visitors yes they had that and it is just as oppressive as it sounds and pulls out my file for the previous year he says you and i need to talk about goals with a giant grin he walks me through my sales sheet he notes that service plan sale shot up tenfold since i had arrived that i was often in the top sales numbers in the store he enthusiastically started his pitch picture this you become the top regional salesperson if you could sell 15 more service plans each week you would beat even the new york branch which has four times the volume if you sold another five thousand dollars worth of product which would be easy for you you would be our top performer ooh a gold star thanks coach he then said now that's our goals for you tell me your goals for yourself now when he said goals he didn't actually mean my goals he meant how am i going to up the ante for them how many service plans or sales numbers did i think i could hit i of course had no interest in that would these new goals come with additional pay i asked well we can't increase your base rate that's against company policy however if you sold 15 more service plans and 5 000 more product think of the commission you would make so what are your goals enter malicious compliance my goal is to leave the company today the look on his face went from enthusiasm to surprise to red rage the kind of face he used at most bi-weekly meetings you do understand that the job market is terrible right now if you were to leave today all of the great work you did for our company over the last year would be for nothing we would never give you a recommendation he said barely containing his voice this confirmed a few things not only was he out of touch that i was already quitting he had no idea that i wasn't even an employee anymore as of 20 minutes before i don't wish any ill will here but you asked me what my goals are is it okay if i leave he says i will escort you out so he walks storms with me toward the exit of the store he turns to the store manager and demands give me his badge and split any remaining unfinished sales he doesn't work for us anymore to which my manager confused replied i know he already quit two weeks ago he fished in his desk and handed the corporate officer my badge the officer got extremely flustered by this as i started to walk out he shouted you need to clock out now again my store manager said he already did is everything okay that's the last thing i heard from that corporate officer as i walked out the door and trotted to my car i didn't wreck the company they are still in business last i checked not a single member of my team is still left there and the store manager gave me plenty of good recommendations though i doubt he is still there either either way it did feel good to hit my goal from the comment section corporate catchphrases are so transparent anymore basically all interview questions are geared towards figuring out how open to servitude an applicant is got skills and no aspirations you're hired no will to live but show up on time special title and more responsibilities with no pay raise here's your christmas bonus a 20 gift card to olive garden let me tell you about my vacation to the maldives that pretty much tells you all you need to know about corporate culture our next story today comes to us from annoy mouse b315 neckbeard tries to buy inferior parts to keep money for the build malicious compliance intervenes let's jump right in since my last story went over so well i guess i will share another from my time at macropoint now some people believe that customer is always right this is a problematic belief the truth is most of the time the customer isn't entitled but you're supposed to perform admirably anyway this gets harder when you're dealing with anyone who thinks they know something that they do not so a guy comes into my department and i greet him at the carpet i tended to beat johnny on the spot whenever someone came in welcome to our build your own department i'm op what are we putting together today the man scoffs at me and says a computer obviously all attitude he was neck beard wearing a my chemical romance shirt pants so tight that he had a mushroom top and mismatched shoes this was obviously on purpose as both shoes were clean just didn't fit his look it didn't take much time examining him my dad had always told me i gotta get the measure of a man with a glance and look him in the eye the whole time he literally used to test us on this crap turn look then tell him what cars we saw in that split second i was decent enough at it but not great i instead would tell myself little lyrics on the fly to remember key details it's become a life habit i explained this to point out that i wasn't staring at his look so i'm pretty sure the snickering hens in the general section who didn't work for us were the source of his ire about being judged about his look he took my smile as me thinking something was funny i feigned ignorance like i didn't hear him and then when he asked again i apologized and asked him to speak louder told him i was hard of hearing this relaxed him a bit thinking i couldn't possibly have heard the hens giving him the business i did but i wasn't going to show it with an attitude he handed me a list and leaned forward shouting i don't want to be sold nothing here's what i need go get it i looked at the list and it's pretty thorough names of items and skew numbers i'm like bet this looks like a full build good money though a lot of them i identify as cheaper parts i tell him it'll take me a few minutes and invite him to take a look around in case he sees anything else he might need he rudely says he'll wait there and he ain't buying else so don't try none of my snake oil salesman crap i smiled and say oh no but it's so good for the joints and muscles he didn't think it was funny so i just walked away and got his stuff halfway through grabbing his items i realized that he only looked at prices and not what each thing did his build had an amd processor but he wanted an intel board the case he wanted was slim and the video card he wanted would not fit he needed a lower profile though the intel board had integrated graphics so i wasn't sure why he picked a card also the power supply he wanted was of lower quality and wattage than the one that came with the case all in all i was compelled to ask what the hell he was trying to build i gathered everything quickly and brought it up going over each piece with him and getting his approval i then asked him if all of this was for the same build which he replied with a something smart like wow how observant of you or something like that i smiled and tried to inform him that some of those parts would not work together but he simply cut me off listen i don't need you to try to upsell me i've been building computers for a while i know what i'm doing he did not and i wanted to question that validity of his claim i asked him then if he would like to hear about our return policy just in case he got belligerent telling me he knows what he's doing and how dare i treat him like he's stupid just because of the way he looks granted he did look stupid but i think his ir was more for the cute girls giving him and some insecurity versus anything i said alrighty you are not interested in our return policy or our extended warranty policy right i confirmed we are supposed to ask about the warranties with everyone but i figured he was not going to take kindly to that so all i wanted to do was cover my bases warranties are for suckers do i look like a sucker he snapped yes he did but i wasn't going to say that i just smiled at him and asked if i could double check his list to see if i got everything i whipped out my phone and took a picture of everything along with the list i knew most of this was coming back and let him go about his day i didn't even sticker it i knew what was coming two days later neckbeard shows back up muffin top two different pairs of shoes and an anime shirt that made goku look like he had a fisheye head he looked embarrassed and angry he had with him someone who i at first thought was his girlfriend a little latino woman who i was certain was either blind or a gold digger but it turned out to be his sister absolutely no resemblance she was friendly and told me she was trying to build a gaming computer to play crisis i was a little incredulous young and to be honest at that time did not think girls played games like that so i turned to him and said crisis and he shrugged little lady stepped up and reiterated herself with a bit of friendly mocking because she knew what i was thinking apparently she got for being a gamer girl i just shrugged and told the truth there was no way in hell that previous build was going to play crisis very well the brother whom i'm going to call neckbeard from here on out had an attitude he said yeah and handed me another list this one similar to before he made no explanation for his previous mistake and just told me to get the new items along with the same line about not upselling him i looked at the list and knew right away that build wasn't going to play that game very well i mean i could get him there with a fifteen hundred dollar build barely but this was something like nine hundred dollars and that video card don't remember what it was was not going to cut it i told him so and that maybe he should look at the game specs online which would help him make a better decision he told me he had done his homework and to just get what he said i looked at his sister pleading and told her that i could come up with a system that was both affordable and would run the game decently he interjected and got mad threatening to get another salesperson and said okay but i knew his ass would be back again as i'm getting his stuff i hear him away from his sister on the phone he's telling someone that he wants to finish this up and get the bill done apparently his parents had allocated some money for this and he was trying to get a cheap system so he could keep the rest of the money a real d-bag move but not my problem i gathered what he asked for and sent them on their way didn't tag this stuff either it was either coming back or could go to the pool i saw neckbeard two days later with little sister in tow and his parents he was not dressed like a disaster that day his parents did all the talking there was no list they told me that they'd trusted their son to get this done because he was good with computers but the game wasn't working properly and they were trying to get everything together for their daughter's birthday which had apparently passed after the first time i met neckbeard the parents then told me they only had three thousand dollars to spend on this computer they'd looked up the average price of high-end gaming rigs and wanted to buy an alienware but were convinced by their son to build it themselves possibly so he can control what they spent three thousand dollars this man was trying to snake his parents out of like 2 000 bucks with these shitty builds they told me to put together something that would work and i smiled at neckbeard and said with a 3 000 limit they confirmed and i grinned cue malicious compliance i tell them i can definitely do that and ask if they want to come with me and discuss each part piece by piece and why i think they need it for the game i go with them and i build a three 3 000 system neckbeard is losing his why do we need this why do we need that but no one will listen to him because of his previous failures i built a system that i'd be proud to own and got it around 2700 and then explained the warranty and how they could have us build it and have parts and labor on that warranty of course they took it neckbeard was pissed because we went a little over and i even talked his parents into getting a boss ass monitor for the game these i certainly stickered if neckbeard hadn't been such a dick i'd have built him a system that could play the game and he would have been able to go about his fiendish plan and keep his parents change instead he got nothing and his sister got a build that she loved and a case that she apparently always wanted a white antac with purple fans moral of the story is don't be a dick to your salesman tell them what you want and need and they will accommodate most times or at the very least know what the heck you're doing if he'd known computers like he claimed they wouldn't have been an issue either way i'm glad things didn't work out for him and this time there were no returns oh come on neckbeard obviously knew what he was doing i mean he spent the day watching linus tech tip videos so he was basically an expert on computers thank you to both ops for posting their stories in the malicious compliance subreddit they are linked in the description down below please go check them out check out one of these other videos and if you haven't yet please hit that subscribe button for more daily reddit stories you

Channel: Karma Comment Chameleon

Views: 47,223

Keywords: karma, comment, chameleon, karma comment chameleon, reddit, funny, funny reddit, reddit funny, r/entitledparents, entitledparents, entitled parents, entitled, parents, top posts, reddit top post, best of reddit, comedy, r/, rslash

Id: xPkFe1xNbFo

Length: 21min 29sec (1289 seconds)

Published: Sun Jan 17 2021