r/MaliciousCompliance - Ahhhh!! MY EYES!!!!

what's up guys welcome to daily dose of Redditt this is your sufficiently hydrated host which is code for I really need to pee Zach and today subreddit is are slash malicious compliance don't forget to Like subscribe and hit that bell to never miss an episode this story is called don't call the cops on the creepy perv well okay then reading another post about working in a library jog this one loose to set the scene I supervised the youth department to add a library I had a boss the building manager I was co-equal second-in-command in the building along with the adult department supervisor enough seen setting one day I'm going about my business when I noticed my boss in the other department supervisor in a tizzy I sauntered over to ask them what was going on as they stood whispering very conspicuously outside the DVD section it turns out a girl had reported a gentleman for exposing himself to her while she was browsing the DVDs not exactly the kind of pleasant experience you want to have at the local library disgusting weird or just a little off we were used to but illegal was a whole different ball game I hear their story and I'm like great let's call the cops let them deal with the dude and tell him he's banned on his way to a squad car my manager shoots down confronting the guy right away they hated confrontation and had reprimanded me before for asking people not to view hardcore love footage on the library computers that were in clear public view of patrons and kids manager and the other supervisor explained that they wouldn't feel right about accusing people of something so egregious and calling the cops on them without proof so as I stare in disbelief my manager tells me in no uncertain terms not to say anything to the flasher and not to call the police and report the alleged crime until she'd had time to review the video and make sure it happened me and the other supervisor were to observe only and make sure no other incidents happened but that was it I stood there in this belief I'm a firm believer in innocent until proven guilty I'm a lawyer's kid and a card-carrying member of the American Civil Liberties Union but maybe we have the cop swing by and hang on to the dude who's in the DVD section flashing one eyed Willey and giving young ladies the world's most unpleasant xxx reenactments of the end of Goonies I was annoyed but did what I was told I kept an eye on the guy to make sure he didn't come into the children's section and he went on browsing DVDs with his family after about 10 minutes I went to see what was up with my manager who was squinting at her computer monitor as they went through the footage trying to see the exact moment this guy pulled out his wife's best friend and introduced it to someone who wasn't his wife I rolled my eyes made it clear I was disgusted with this and went back out only to find the dude was up at the checkout counter with his family which meant he was about to walk out the door and there'd be no way to find him meanwhile the girl he flashed is sitting off to the side staring in disbelief and clearly wondering why nothing has been done so I decided to do a bit of malicious compliance by following the managers orders to the letter I was supposed to observe well then I was going to observe in a way that might still get this guy in trouble with the law if my boss ever decided this guy did the crime so I observed the family checking out at the front desk I observed them walking out the front door I stepped out with a pad of paper and a pen and looked like I was observing the book drop out front but really I was observing the make and model of their car and license plate number which I jotted down having done my duty to observe only I stepped back inside just in time for my manager to Russia breathless asking if they'd left I told the manager they just walked out the door manager then says they have the guy on video flashing his Emperor's Royal Guardsmen at the poor girl who reported it like half an hour ago at this point and manager had finally called the cops the manager gives me a funny look and asked what I was doing out there I said I was simply keeping an eye on them as requested and didn't say a word to them or go near them per instructions five minutes later the cops roll up with lights flashing and step into the library like they mean business manager and the adult Department supervisor went to talk to the cop leaving me to hangouts around the periphery listening in as the cop heard the full tale of my manager deciding to check the video to make sure a crime was actually committed before calling the fuss I barely hid my glee as the cop started ripping them a new one for not calling right away so they could actually her end the guy because it was going to be next to impossible to track them down now I figure that's the opportune moment I walk up and hands the nice cop my slip of paper he asked me what this is I told him I was told to keep an eye on the flasher but not to do anything else so I took the liberty of following them out the entrance and writing down their cars info and the plates so the police could track down the dude later the cop thanked me in front of the manager and the other department supervisor and said I was the only one who did anything sensible in this whole situation a half hour later my boss comes into my office to tell me they were able to arrest an individual who matched the video and that the police wanted to extend their thanks to me in particular since my quick thinking writing down the plates was the only way they could have found the guy I hit my manager with a big old grin I figure they didn't want their boss hearing about it and ripping them a new one especially with the police saying I was the only one who acted appropriately and me not technically going against orders so the whole thing was never mentioned again okay first off that poor girl libraries are a place that a lot of people go for peace and quiet and relaxation because it's honestly very soothing to be surrounded by books even if you don't even read because I used to read a ton like I'd stay up all night to read a book but tonight got a phone and I never read again but you know I still love going to bookstores and libraries to just hang around and you know just enjoy the atmosphere so for that to be ruined by some dude flashing his schlong at you that would suck so I really hope that she's able to get you know over and through that through and over whichever order that would be seconds always be safe over sorry or would however that would be and call the police if you feel like you should because worst-case scenario if you discover that there's not actually a threat you can call and cancel that dispatch and be like okay false alarm or if you know they come investigate that's that's what their job is and while it might be a slight waste in you know their time I think it's worth it to you know ensure your safety cuz also despite what a lot of places on the internet wants you to think not all cops are stupid in fact most of them are pretty smart and they have investigative protocols for situations like this so they can really get down to what happened and they can go over the footage while they're there while the the dude is still there so they can get them if he did indeed flash the woman which he did anyways that's common sense though this story is called she told me to so I did this isn't the greatest story of malicious compliance but this happened over 16 years ago and I don't think my family nor I will ever forget it in elementary school I attended a private Catholic K through 8 school paid for by my grandparents however I wasn't Catholic in the school I attended had an unwritten rule of only Catholics admitted to school really not sure how I was allowed in I suspect my grandparents used their influence and the fact they were very wealthy to talk the school into allowing me as they were rated the best academic school within a hundred miles this school was very very religious and while I skirted the first two years with little issue this took place when I was seven and in second grade at the school as tradition it was time to have First Communion for those who are unfamiliar Catholics don't start taking communion at Mass until they reached grade two or a certain age around there where they learn the meaning of communion and practice a special first communion ceremony to be taken place during Mass in front of the rest of the school and our families this usually means we stand in a very long single-file line as each kid takes communion for the first time and goes to stand in a certain place afterwards the kids wear special white clothing for the occasion resembling an outfit for a wedding this was the first indication to any of my classmates that I was not Catholic like them as I was not allowed to participate with the rest of them in First Communion it took a fit thrown by my parents to allow me to dress up and join them in this occasion but the school put their foot down on the actual Communion and I was not allowed to take the communion when I got up to the front of the altar during the mass so all week during rehearsal my teacher helped us practice and taught me to do an arm crossed over my chess move so they would give me a blessing instead of communion I hated this as all the kids noticed and told their parents a girl wasn't taking communion which their parents told them I wasn't Catholic so I really didn't believe so I started getting subjected to your going to hell bullying now for the malicious compliance the day of Mass arrived and my teacher was running around like a madwoman making sure everything was perfect and everyone was in their place as a result she wasn't around when my class was called to get in the long single-file line for the communion the people giving out the bread and shoes for the communion knew that one of the kids wasn't supposed to receive it but the teacher didn't have time to point out who it was me and I easily blended in my entire immediate family came for support even though this really wasn't important to any of us I reached to the front of the line and I'm sent over to one of the five spots in front of the altar to receive Communion I find myself in front of a teacher who doesn't know me nor I her I start to do the cross over chest move my teacher taught me when the teacher sighs and whispers intending to give me communion I silently held my hands out with a smile and went through the process I watched my classmates practice then nearly skipped over to the spots I was supposed to go I turned to see my teacher giving me a stare that I'm certain would have scorched me on the spot and after mass she found me and began to lecture me as my family walked over letting me know that I insulted the sacred Catholic religion by breaking the rules given to me and what made me think I could do such a thing in front of my parents and some of my classmates I pointed towards the teacher who gave me communion and said I was going to do it but she told me to hold out my hands so I did hearing that my mother jumped in and defended me saying that I had been raised to always listen to what a teacher says my teacher attempted to mutter back that I should have just followed what I had been told scowled an apology and stalked away to the teacher I pointed to my parents took me to my favorite restaurant afterwards to celebrate and laugh about my sass as they weren't fans of the school either I ended up lasting until fifth grade before finally leaving I think my teacher warned the others about me though because after that I didn't have to go to mass confession or anything Catholic related during the school time after that and was just sent to the library instead okay so this is kind of funny it reminds me of when I was a little kid so my dad's side of the family is Muslim and I grew up with my dad so I grew up Muslim and my mom on the other hand was like every kind of Christian at some point so um when I was a little kid I would go visit her every single year and she used to go to church with my older brother and she decided to take me with her one day and what happened was interesting okay so we go to church and I'm a little kid that did not grow up going to church so this is all completely new to me and I don't know how any of this stuff works okay and this is a massive massive Church with hundreds of people in attendance okay and we're like pretty close to the middle towards the front of the these rows of seats and time comes where everyone's supposed to drink the holy water and eat the bread and I was really really thirsty so when they are passing around the little cups of water and the pieces of bread I was like now just take the water and the dude gave me this weird look he's like what and then so I drank my water and I'm like oh my god that was so good because I was so thirsty and the bread was literally the same volume as the water so would have hurt me to eat the bread because I was so thirsty and the bread was dry and then this dude he goes up and tells the priest man dude bro and he's like someone didn't eat the bread or this kid didn't eat the bread and then the freakin priest guy preacher man he in front of the whole church he announces who did not eat the bread or whatever the hell they call it and I about crapped myself I looked at my mom I was terrifying she's like and I was like oh my god are they gonna kill me or something I was so scared but you know I didn't get caught but I was terrified man I was already in an uncomfortable situation it was early in the morning I was thirsty and I was about to get in trouble in front of hundreds of people for not eating bread this story's called lunch my dad just told me the story over dinner but it's just too good not to pass along some minor details in conversation embellishment for effect my dad is a programmer for a government contractor something very specialized I don't understand along the lines of satellite communication the nature of his job has kept him moving from company to company over the years as contract shift in the company's merge or lay off employees however my dad is extremely competent and has worked his way up to lower management think doing the same job but with the added tasks of reporting to the bosses for everyone in his department my dad also has always worn a baseball cap always every day he wore a baseball cap to my wedding along with his suit it came off for the ceremony and went back on as soon as my wife and I kissed I have never seen my dad outside without a baseball cap on unless it would be improper such as a funeral for a friend of my mother's or highly impractical like for swimming now having so many bosses from numerous projects it was inevitable that my dad would eventually run into one or two hard-headed by the rules bosses one day just such a person demanded that my dad to remove his hat for meetings from that moment forward he could wear the hat while at work unless they were facing clients as lead programmer on multiple projects my dad had been working with most of these clients for longer than his bosses as the company's changed faster than either the programmers or military he got into a good-natured argument over the dress code but was shut down so he made a deal he would take off his hats but if anyone said anything his boss would have to quote by lunch they both agreed and went to the meeting they entered the conference room sat down and no sooner had his boss started talking then he was interrupted by the older black lady sitting across from my dad I'm sorry where's dad dad pulls out the cap while staring at boss and puts it on lunch okay fine now dad interrupting so what do you all want what you agreed if someone said anything about me not wearing my hat then you'd buy lunch I didn't mean I think Pizza sounds good my dad's boss was shamed into keeping his promise and my dad got a free pizza lunch and the freedom to wear his hat whenever he wanted all the time that it my father clarified that the lady literally didn't recognize my father without his hat I left it out because it didn't really play into the compliance don't you just love it when people have little quirks like that like his dad never leaving to the house without a baseball cap on or someone never leaving without like a pocket square or something it's just really charming because they usually have a very interesting reason why they do what they do I don't know it's just something you gotta appreciate as long as it's not annoying like Oh I have this thing where I have to recite the Iliad and Odyssey before I take a bot you know just for good look it's just a little core come on this story's called we don't use our copier enough we can't use it it's broken again I used to work as a civilian employee for a military department but it was like a normal office job in most respects so I don't think this is a good fit for our slash military stories we prepared briefing packets for the personnel involved in upcoming military operations so that everyone knew what maneuvers would be performed with which vehicles and in what order and for every briefing we would probably make about 20 packets and each packet would probably be about 30 to 40 pages we would print one packets and then make copies on a standard photocopier but the copier that we were provided by our program office was just a light duty model that could not handle the intense load of making copies constantly to support multiple briefings a day there was a rule that the machine had to make about 20,000 copies a month before the program office would pay for a heavier duty model we would get our copier fixed and it would work for three to four days during which time it would make about 14,000 copies but then it would fail and be down for weeks again the copy machine repairman was out so frequently we joked about letting him keep his coffee cup there and join our coffee mess if the machine was working properly we would easily exceed the 20,000 copy threshold for a heavier duty machine but it never stayed working for more than a few days at a time after being fixed the next time the machine broke down I decided to go use the copier outside the program office tying up their machine I started telling everyone else what I was doing and they played along tying up the machine outside the program office for days after a few days our machine was broken in the program office machine failed under the added workload too apparently the program office didn't like the fact that their machine was always busy or broken now because this time our copier wasn't just fixed it was replaced with the machine that could actually the workload we needed from it I don't know if this should count as revenge or just spreading discontent to those who need it most an expression I learned on this job but we got what we wanted honestly how stupid do you have to be to not buy the new copier because first of all that is vital to the function of their frickin department and they should have freaking figured that hiring repairman that frequently is gonna add up to way more than the cost of a new copier like jeez man you're stupid Ron Swanson's right all the freaking government does is waste taxpayer money don't forget to Like subscribe and hit that Bell to never miss an episode

Channel: Daily Dose Of Reddit

Views: 42,355

Keywords: reddit, r/MaliciousCompliance, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit funny, daily dose of reddit, daily dose of internet

Id: AU0E0Mpzb0Q

Length: 20min 46sec (1246 seconds)

Published: Fri Jan 03 2020