r/StoriesAboutKevin - He Was a GROWN MAN

what's up guys welcome to daily dose of Reddit this is your host Zach and today's subredditizarre stories about Kevin all right this story is called my family is so estranged they must be on another level of intelligence reposted because I accidentally submitted I believe that my extended family can be so stupid that they must be smarter than me I don't mean stupid in a bad demeaning way but out of sheer frustration and amusement like you can't help but laugh at the silly antics one half of my family is the lovable kind of Kevin Centro the one that makes you question their actions and the legitimacy of their words my grandmother great uncle and great aunts are the main offenders here they are all siblings and talking to them feels like a kid in a DND group pretending to be an old person they are old per se but almost like the stereotypes are somewhat there but with a mix of Whimsical youthful energy I have never been a strong believer in Magic Spirits or the psychic Arts but they are intriguing and some interesting to me it is my grandmother and her siblings that make me feel the countryside they grew up in is like an enchanted forest Grammy Covina and the rest all grew up in a house that is owned by one of my great aunts to this day it's a two-story white home that looks exactly like the house in the countryside in every horror movie this is important information like a plantation style house now my Grandma is convinced ghosts have lived in the house for years even as a kid I never really cared for that but recently she told me of a Native American man named Joe who murdered his brother on the hill across the road and all that Joe's not a good man he's fine in the house but he's always trying to pull pranks on me I saw him turn on the faucet once I swear he was having the time of his life with that faucet they probably got their water from a well so that's why Joe is so happy he really likes batteries too do you think he's draining the batteries for power no Joe wouldn't do that besides I think they're just interested in electricity since they never had any they like to flick of the lights all the time but you just gotta remind them that you're the one in charge they aren't paying no rent they don't live here I've never seen Joe but they all have great aunt Kavina said the exact same thing to remind them ghosts that they don't have the power in the household my great uncle must have scared them real good because back when he lived in the house they never did anything when he visited now that another aunt and her husband have the house and they live in another town the ghosts have free reign my sister saw a dress in the upstairs window that wasn't there beforehand Grandma's answer Joe in drag I've only seen Fedora man who is a guy in a coat and wearing a fedora I saw his face in the window as a little kid playing upstairs in one of the bedrooms with my cousin he's been a prevalent figure because once I have a drinking buddy of Uncle Kevin was standing behind him all dressed up for Halloween and he yelled at him not to bother his TV time and to soak back upstairs like the dirty ghost he was Grandma believes that Fedora man wanted children as a kid and Joe is angry about that and so that's why he only appears to Children my aunt saw two leprechauns once Grandma took her to the eye doctor the next day they were dancing on her bed and making a little mockery of her she told me once that if you want to catch those pesky leprechauns you gotta let laugh them with those Lucky Charms because they really like those and afterwards he trapped them in a box and steal their goal Grandma believes the leprechauns caused Modelo virus she said they caused it because that's what we get for leaving our suitcases open in Ireland so they sneak in and decide to give people Modelo virus and bad luck she also thinks Jay-Z is a time traveler but I think that's just J.A come on that was that was bad when I was young my grandma told me that California was going to be completely submerged by 2012. and I cried over it for many hours because my dad grew up there and I didn't want his old friends to die she also said that Atlantis is out here somewhere but we can't find it anymore for reasons I can't remember my Uncle Kevin got back cancer and my aunt reacted by throwing out all of his clothes and cleaning up the house in pain and also riddance he makes a miraculous recovery but he almost got kicked out of the nursing home twice for apparently having six girlfriends in bugging the nurses grandma told me if you ever get pulled over for having weed on you just tell the officer it's licensed for your guinea pig and endorse the consumption of weed for my sisters rodent a apparently they will let you go if you do this really let's try it out she also has claimed her cousins are just sweet troubled boys even though they set someone's car on fire while they were still in it sleeping because the man was late to pay them for drugs Grandma had this cat that was so insane so psychotic that it would have been more famous than Grumpy Cat if it were born at the beginning of Y2K it was brought to the vet once as a kitten for its shots an event said to never bring it back it was chasing the adult dogs around biting and clawing I love it grandma and my aunt Kevin believed that the cat was a Reincarnation of their brother angry at the world for casting him in a feline body which could be true he behaved like a human ate from plates favorite food was chocolate and croissants and he never died from poisoning that is the only story I can confirm is true the cat was so insane that one time I'm on a visit to my Dad's friend who met the cat once I had this realistic Halloween to wave a growling cat in the car and he jumped because he thought the cat was with us the cat is a Kevin all by itself blood was shed by that cat it was lonely but it hated people Grandma buried the cat in the backyard of the house in the blueberry garden and I bet it's waiting for its moment to return lastly now that the ghost in the house are rampant again and my other aunt and her husband lives there occasionally the family lies to the husband about the supernatural sounds like whales thumping and scratching it's just a bug zapper they believe he's too frail to know the truth I think because I'm a city dweller I don't understand what most of this means I hope you enjoyed my family Escapade I don't know if they are considered true cabins for their lack of annoyance and anger but they are a rare breed of Kevin in my eyes my paternal aunt on the other hand dot dot dot wow those guys are interesting I mean definitely some people that I would love to spend time with because while a lot of the information they might give you seems kind of weird they do have a weird understanding of the world kind of I don't know I don't know how to do how to explain what I'm saying if you get what I'm saying you get it if you don't then well just meet people like that and you'll see what I mean all right this story is called trying to teach Windows to a Covina I was in my 20s and this was in the age when Windows 98 was a new thing as a background I explain how my job at the time worked disclaimer English is not my first language Etc we were instructors that will train office workers from the most basic software Windows Excel PowerPoint word Etc there were senior instructors that would train on AutoCAD Photoshop Visual Basic Etc we would get paid commission for each person in our group groups were usually from 5 to 10 people but there was a more attractive tier that would be solo course because those will pay the commission of a group of 10 and you don't have to work as much of course most of the time the people who had seniority would get those and as a newbie you'd be lucky if you get one on occasion since those courses were reserved for CEOs their secretaries meaning the top of whatever company was hiring us that month so I see that I'm booked for a solo course for Windows the information I'm given is that it was for the personal assistant of the CEO of a company so it's a very important person I can't deny I was happy but see that it is for Windows and they asked for me because I had a reputation for being patient this was rare because we basic drones we rarely get anything like this so Monday comes in and the woman who is taking the course shows up I'm not gonna lie I felt intimidated she was about six feet tall I'm five foot two long blonde curly hair blue-eyed woman and that looked more like a model than a secretary I wonder how she got the job I'm kidding I'm kidding she was around my age early 20 okay now I'm not kidding she was around my age early 20s knowing that a lot of single dudes that have seniority over me passed on the chance of having a week training her seemed weird also some of those same dudes were just casually lurking listening to my class I thought at the time it was for Quality controller maybe creeping out on the gorgeous girl the door of our classrooms has a panel of clear glass that lets anyone check on any class I started the training explaining the basics on how to use the mouse to open a window starting for what a window was how to move it around what was the desktop on the computer what the X was for ETC most of it went smoothly or I thought so I made her open several windows so she could see files then I say okay I see that you have no problem using the mouse so please close all the windows we have open then I turned around and start to erase my whiteboard when I was done I see her on the other side of the classroom checking on the physical Windows of the room hey uh Miss Covina what are you doing what you told me but I don't get it sorry what you said to close the windows yes yes well the windows are not the kind you can open and close and what does that have to do with computers do they overheat if we don't open looking at the door seeing now two of the seniors with a huge grit on their faces one of them went away to laugh his butt off Miss Kavina I'm sorry I meant the one on the computer the computer has Windows where I'm dying inside while smiling starting the training again no problem come to your computer and I'll explain it oh no wonder the other teacher said he'll be the one to help me thank you it is my third time taking this class honestly I I think computers are stupid I repeated that class during the next three days until she finally got it that a window is a small screen inside the big screen and that was the pest I could hope for she also disconnected the mouse a bunch of times because the cord was not long enough and then wondered why we had to restart just because she disconnected the mouse so in an effort to not go crazy I told her how to move with the keyboard now we are talking about if I learned this I can be a hacker like you I'm not a hacker nonsense your secret safe with me well um on page 22 of your manual you can find all the shortcuts for the keyboard no way that's what those are for but you know I don't understand it I'll bring my notepad tomorrow and you'll help me to write this down that was the last day of the week course for Windows she was writing down what control plus C does even though she had a manual that had pictures of the keys and an explain nation of what they do the things we usually see the second day our boss showed up to say hi to me and ask how all is going boss you're not gonna believe it but she is so awesome she's turning me into a hacker now I can do anything with the thingy well uh we are not doing any hacking sir just the basic oopsie yes boss just training while she winked it I refuse to take solo training for a month some poor sap got her to train for word she keeps losing everything she typed all the time because she keeps pressing alt f4 as my windows teacher told me other things she did she would not park in the parking lot of our building because the entrance was too confusing but one day she parked on said entrance and her car almost got towed she parked near the entrance but left the keys in the car so she would not lose them one of the guards noticed it and gave the keys to our receptionist she left her bag with all her personal items in the a reception because it would be easier to pick up later and she'll be returning every day she'll go to interrupt my current class because she was bored with her new instructor she sat down when she saw we were doing formulas in Excel she said I knew it is this the advanced hacking class is this even legal she went to eat at a restaurant near our building and then one of her co-workers was called out of my class because she did not have money and could not pay since her bag was still in the reception by the way we did not have storage or anything that would say that you could leave stuff in that desk the guy said of course it's her then he left when he returned he said she does things like that at work too oh my gosh she sounds so sweet though like uh like a ditzy little blonde or ditzy big blonde lady or tall blonde lady you know what I'm saying she seems so sweet um blissfully ignorant alright this story is called Kevin poops himself and decides to share I was a shift manager at a fast food restaurant in the southern U.S some of the things I saw will stay with me forever but Kevin was one of the most memorable Kevin had drank kerosene as a child and was a little slow good guy but dumbest rocks he had no filter and everyone messed with him he was a good sport and we were all pretty close one night Kevin comes up to me looking extremely uncomfortable the conversation goes as follows Kevin very quietly I need to go home and change my underwear me shocked and completely understanding exactly what had happened okay I don't need any more information just go to lunch and do what you need to do you're good just go Kevin continuing to whisper I crapped my pants horrify but trying really hard not to laugh I said I didn't want to know what the hell man I didn't want you to think I was lying me with my head in my hands it's fine just go take care of yourself Kevin left and I went to the management office and laughed so hard I threw up is that is that a thing I told everyone because I'm a bad person and we all had a good laugh Kevin got back and we got back to work Ah that's adorable concerning but adorable alright ski this story is called my roommate doesn't know how cats work or nipples I just moved in with four other graduate students and promptly adopted two cats with my roommate's permission and or encouragement of course I am the only one who has ever had cats so the other four sometimes asked some questions that are funny to me uh cat connoisseur but one roommate Kevin asks questions that I feel are naive for anyone and by naive I mean pretty freaking stupid the best one I can think of is when Kevin was playing with the kitten core and petting his tummy Kevin stops petting the kitten looks at me very concerned and says are you sure Quark is a boy he has nipples Kevin you're a boy do you have nipples what a silly goober mcgover pants cute story though seems like a cool little thing having a roommate and uh kittens and they're like oh kitten and then some dude asks you a weird-ass question about the cat's nipples don't forget to like subscribe and hit that Bell to never miss an episode [Music]

Channel: Daily Dose Of Reddit

Views: 2,122

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, reddit funny, daily dose of reddit, daily dose of internet, daily dose of memes

Id: E-TnbPxP8Lc

Length: 16min 36sec (996 seconds)

Published: Thu Jun 15 2023