r/IDontWorkHereLady | I'm not a salesman... I'm a LAWYER!

hey guys welcome to voic-- here this is your host that totally did not almost shark captain Zach in today so I've read a desire /i don't work your lady with a bonus from our slash today I fetched now don't forget to Like subscribe and hit that bell to never miss an episode this story's called not everyone in a suit wants to sell you a car longtime lurker first-time poster in my line of work I didn't think this could happen but here we are I'm a practicing attorney in an area known for a certain degree of longer II being inherent to the local population this incident occurred earlier today and I just got the time to type the sound just to set the stage I wear a suit until I go to bed and I'm just over six feet in 250 pounds I own a heavily modified car so I take it to the performance shop I had to do the modifications every two thousand miles or so for technical inspections and to dial in the tune with the changing season and a few new components we moved it to once every five hundred miles to make sure everything's all proper which means I'm having the car in for a look over just about each week since I commute around 40 miles across the street from the shop is a dealership for very high-end cars specifically one side serves a high-end British automaker known for ultra luxury work and an Italian brand known for being gaudy I'm a bit of a gearhead so I've taken to walking across the street to chat up the employees and to see if there's anything exciting enough for me to want to get a model car of for my desk in their inventory I'm on good terms with the staff since a couple of them are former clients for rather exciting speeding tickets and alike and my girlfriend is a sales representative at an Audi dealership in the same network I'm examining a gorgeous green coupe in waiting for a coffee and employee had gone to get since these dealerships have expensive coffee machines and dammit they're gonna use them especially for for it I feel a tap on my shoulder and turn around to only find what could be described as just under five feet of dark skin wrapped around silicone in the vague facsimile of a person looking at me with mild impatience and attired in booty shorts and some sort of almost inadequate crop top in colors that can be des a violent and sticky violation of one's eye sockets and a pair of worryingly high heels just to be clear in most cases prospective customers make an appointment so that product specialist can devote their full attention to the needs of a client at this moment us and a local Instagrammer were the only people on the showroom floor can I help you I asked a mistake to be sure but one easy to make when you get through law school on customer service jobs this entity proceeds to ask questions about the SUV offering of this brands power engines what can fit knits that sort of stuff being a gearhead I actually know many of the things she asks or can refer to a piece of laminated paper on a nearby example then she asked me for a test drive firstly I don't work there and secondly I don't believe test drives happen for that level of car without one having already contracted to buy it I attempt to answer with an I'm sorry man but I cannot do that as I do not work here this does not fly she raises her voice and interrupts me before I can inform her of my lack of employment at the establishment it's because I'm black isn't it was what passed from the most definitely augmented lips firstly no and secondly I don't work here I try to be concise already shifting into a mode of how I speak when speaking to the court listen here you deceitful racist mother lover her words not mine I've seen you up in here talking with the salesman's I remember that unneeded plural very clearly and I know you work with them so let me test drive this car brand and I'll forget about how rude you been and she starts approaching very close at this point ma'am I don't work here and if I did it would be hard to get a test drive any I would be interrupted by one hand adorned in pink claws grabbing me by the neck tie and dragging me down to her level I remind you that I am 6 foot 1 in 250 pounds and my head had been jerked down a good foot my glasses fall to the floor shut the heck up and get me those damn keys before I tell your manager it's at this point my friend returns to the showroom with the coffee from the attache dealership and witnesses this goblin assailing his friend he strides over puts on a wide smile and asks what's wrong she turns on her heel resulting in a rather unpleasant crunch as said heels crushes the lens of my glasses I didn't quite catch her rant directed at the real employee but I did finally have enough of this I pulled my card from my pocket thrust it in her face and spoke with the same voice I use in court to make conclusions and the same little smile ma'am I do not work here I am an attorney who is friends with several employees here I just answered your questions because I love the products of brand and I knew some things about it now I'm gonna ask you that either you hand over a check for $600 to cover damages you have inflicted upon my glasses or I will get the police involved for the battery you performed upon my person I then crossed my arms after a moment of looking between me and the door and the security cameras she sighs and surprisingly pulls out a checkbook and writes me a check for the damages I put it in my pockets and observed the general manager of the dealership who had seen it happen on camera rush out and ban her on the spot for assaulting somebody in his dealership before security who'd been holding back until a manager gave word escorted her out the manager apologized profusely and gave me a fancy paperweight for free for my troubles I thanked him and left after drinking the coffee I got my prescription sunglasses from my car so I'd be able to safely drive before calling up my boss one of the partners at the firm to tell him my side of events in case she tried something with the card I gave her I took the check to her bank once the adjustments on my car were done and surprisingly it cashed out without incident I'm going to the optometrist tomorrow to get new glasses and according to my girlfriend she actually got the notice at her dealership to deny service to that as well so all's well that ends well wow that actually worked out pretty well McCarron wasn't as bad as it could have been or she i mean sure he's gonna look kind of douchey walking around with sunglasses indoors but hey not too bad swift justice this story's called grumpy construction worker yells at me cuz he be power tripping so I work a job as a service technician and I went to a new building that needed some warranty work done it had been officially handed over to the owners which is a hotel the contractors were still running about doing deficiencies and odds-and-ends but the hotel staff was on-site training and such I used to work for construction companies all the time and I hated it because of the semantics of it all they would be a stickler for rules inside the property at all times but when it suited them they would bend the rules hate that anyhow this building had a door close to where I was working and I propped it open to go to my truck maybe 20 feet from the door itself a five-second walk first contractor head honcho on site comes out and sees me on the phone out there and asks if I prop the door open the thing is there was another door propped open just on the other end of the hallway but it led to a loading bay away from the street it was ok to have that one open because there was a worker there semantics I said yes just loading tools right now but I don't want to walk all the way around the building as I have a lot of tools to bring it the guy who was reasonable and he said sure son not a problem just please remember to close the door we don't want a hooligan coming and stealing the TV or something all right no problem I can do this for you told him I'm not just a labourer who have the reputation for not being the smartest of people but I'm a decently smart technician in a complicated trade he laughs and goes all right that makes me feel better plus he called me son so that was nice he says all right as long as you're inside of that door and you want walking away you can prop it open cut so maybe 10 minutes later and I'm on the phone outside no reception in the building in clear view of the door and his sidekick Foreman guy is there young dude small tiny guy Eric Foreman who tried hella hard to compensate I could hear the way he was talking to employees the Tuda Schlag I come inside as he's walking towards me and he goes hey don't prop that door open got it I had time today I didn't like being yelled at so I simply said I right here don't worry no one's going in spoke with your boss and he said it's cool he stops all the wilderness such an responds do not open that door again I asked him why he was yelling and he goes hey you listen to me when you're on this site do you understand I'm the boss and I don't want you questioning me again this is where I goofed I wasn't wearing my company's shirt because it was hot in the room I was working it it was a crawl space above the kitchen just had on a t-shirt I simply look at the guy and said hey don't yell or speak to me like that again be I'm here on behalf of the owners I do not work for you guys in any shape or form if you have a problem with me go run to your boss or go to the owners and go tattle on me he stopped and tried to say something but you know when you've got someone dead to rights and they just kind of just try to say something exactly this this guy didn't know what to do at all he eventually just walked away and I chuckled to myself that was a great feeling where you don't answer to someone when you don't represent the company to them they can't say crap to you you're working for the owners directly and it's not gonna reflect negatively on your company to say hey don't yell at me I swear some people's lives sucks so much that this is how they feel in control of your lives I want to have one of those moments someday usually when people ask me to do something I usually just do it now because I'm scared of confrontation or something but like I don't really mind helping people out I'm actually usually pretty eager to help I'm not sure if it's because I like validation from others or because I like doing nice things I'm curious have you guys ever been in a situation similar to this where you're working at the same place as some other company and the management there thinks that they're in charge of you but they're not and they were a jerk and you got to tell them to go shove it because that is not my job this story's called today I flew the net by almost killing my grandma by giving her an edible this was on Thanksgiving Day not today but just now deciding this year my 36f female husband 36 male travels for work not at this moment thanks bro vid 19 and was in San Fran for a huge sales conference while he was there he decided to purchase some edibles he took one while in San Fran and said they were great now we're both very new to trying edibles as it just became medically legal in our state and it always made me nervous to try them but as I've gotten older I've decided as long as I stay home and don't venture out I'll be just fine so a few days after he came home we had some friends over and all of us enjoyed a nice gummy these were way stronger than the only other one I had in Vegas but we had a great time lots of laughs and lots of pies were had by all Thanksgiving rolls around a week later and I tell my grandma 76 female that the hub's had gotten some amazing edibles and we should try them now my grandma is not your ordinary grandma she's kind of a hippie and probably one of the most awesome people on the planet so this was not odd that Grammy would try one but she's never had an edible before I grabbed the gummies and informed my grandma that these are very powerful and maybe she should only take half my grandma looks me straight in the eyes and pops the entire damn thing in her mouth and says I'll be fine I cringe a bit and think okey-dokey here we go we all grab a plate and make our dinner and for about an hour goes by in my grandma and grandpa walk over to get desserts and I follow them grandma starts asking about the desert and mid-sentence her words turn into complete gibberish to which I started to laugh and said are you feeling your edible grandma she then starts to act really weird in my grandpa and I lock eyes and realize this may not be good right then she straight-up blacks out and collapses my grandpa and I both catch her and I start to slap the ever living crap out of her and start yelling her name yeah I don't think you're supposed to do that I yell at my husband to come help and yell at my mom to call the ambulance I finally get her to come to and make sure she stays awake and doesn't black out again I don't know if that even mattered but in my head it was super important that she stay responsive when the EMT finally show they take her blood pressure and it was pretty much non-existent they start talking about how she is probably having a jokerz something major and all I can think is that I just killed my best friend they load her up in the ambulance and we tell my grandpa to get in and ride with her but apparently my grandma didn't want anyone riding with her so my grandpa starts to get into his own car to follow I then told my grandma I didn't care what she wanted in that I was riding with her no matter what and I proceeded to climb in the front seat of the ambulance now up until the point I had not felt a gummy and thought I'll be good to ride I couldn't have been more wrong as I sit in the front with the ambulance driving it hits me like a freaking freight train to the brain as I'm realizing this I start to get super nervous that he's gonna find out and I'm gonna go to jail so my super logical brain says act as professional as possible that'll trick him what's up so he starts to ask me questions about the quickest way to get to the hospital for my house and I literally changed my voice to try to sound like a damn Rhodes scholar and use phrases like at the crest of the hill and promptly after this tree to give directions I then start to ask him if he knows so and so at the fire department and rattle off my super straight-laced friends who are firefighters or EMTs in our city and yep he knows all of them I then proceeded to laugh at a joke I made 10 minutes ago and a laugh that sounded like the cackle of a criminally insane person after a 25-minute drive that felt like three hours I very slowly and carefully climb out of the front of the ambulance and go check on Grammy in the back good news was she was smart enough to tell them that she had had an edible and they gave her an IV and were able to bring her blood pressure out back to normal by the time we got to the hospital once they checked her in they looked her over and we were out in about two hours when it was time to leave I was coming back to earth from my journey to Mars but I was still feeling good but definitely more normal as I helped my grandma to her car I asked her if my mom and grandpa were going to allow us to play together anymore because we got ourselves in a lot of trouble we both laughed our asses off later that day but agreed not to do that again okay first of all if someone faints do not try to slap them awake now I'm no doctor or first aid specialist or whatever but I know that that's not what you're supposed to do I think I know but I'm not gonna say it because I could be wrong and I don't want to give false medical information I'm sure someone in the comments knows what you're supposed to do is someone things and it's not that anyways that sounds like a pretty cool grandma smoke a gram with the gram okay don't forget to like subscribe and hit that Bell to never miss an episode [Music]

Channel: VoiceyHere

Views: 15,457

Rating: 4.9301076 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, reddit top posts, VoiceyHere, VoiceyHere Stories, reddit cringe, reddit stories, r/entitledparents, r/entitled parents giofilms, r/entitled parents stories, entitled parents, entitled parents fresh, entitled parents reddit, entitled parents stories, entitled parents video, r/entitled, top posts of all time, rSlash, r/entitledparents rSlash, funny, funny reddit posts, r/IDontWorkHereLady

Id: 32khOjgcrc4

Length: 16min 0sec (960 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 27 2020