Ricky Gervais - Stand-Up, Hollywood Scandal, Twitter - Jim Norton & Sam Roberts

did you well here comes Ricky now yep okay let's get ready oh [ __ ] let me get my interview get your intro we'll get the horns okay I didn't realize we have all that food their prices stinks it does it's things like fast food in here yeah okay let's take some of the without is I mean while I'd already stinks green in here all right yeah bringing the Travis bring it to the Travis 10j horn and war Travis are you ready for the mute with the music course okay okay we have to get the music ready hello Ricky we have been instructed to read your introduction your people said in intro yes no we have no listen to the music it's a it's a it's a celebration Ricky is the creator of the office extras and the Ricky Gervais show he is 1/8 Baptist 3 Golden Globes and two Primetime Emmys for acting writing directing and stand up his old podcasts have been downloaded 600,000 times ricky homes ricky holds the record for the fastest selling stand-up tour of all time with the first 100,000 tickets going in nine minutes he has sold 2.4 million tickets worldwide and plays msg this wednesday night never to keep it going Travis Netflix have acquired the rights to humanity for an undisclosed sum said to be the highest fee ever paid for a UK stand-up special that's true as well but I'm not gonna tell you what it is his new radio show Ricky Gervais is deadly serious launches tomorrow well that song I'm sorry that's all factual I was terrified it was gonna be this sort of like a pinion as though there's one one website the most influential comedian since Charlie Chaplin and I want to go well who says that I'd much rather be compared to Fatty Arbuckle anyway just talking beep well we've had a staff issue for the day we heard and we eat chick-fil-a this morning I've never had it Jim is a you love this Jim is actually gaining four pounds or six pounds four to six pounds for a movie role and so for the last week and a half he's been obsessing over eating nothing but snack I have been eating okay what what what listen if sorry what does for pound-for-pound know it's on your penis it's all I can know that I just know there have to be a little bit heavier so I just made a decision I'm gonna try to put on like four to six parents all I can do in like two who's online 10 days notice right it wasn't like I had like a time where I could do it so I'm just eat like a pig trying to feel it I already lost a belt loop so I'm fattening up just a little bit and I'll take the start start losing again but so far this morning for breakfast he had a bag of cheese it's four Twix bars a chicken biscuit chicken biscuits - but what you might have you know you ain't look so fat and bloated or just bigger just a little bit messier than I look like I'm just too skinny I think I'm not 100% sure about it I just made a decision to do it I have a window I know I have a brief window so I'm gonna do it in the window great good but it's funny I mean yeah I mean then what but didn't you work so hard yeah I'd never do that I either way for a role because I just think if I'm not what oh I don't know it takes I know obviously I'd probably get fit for a role but I wouldn't lose weight for a role or gain weight for a role but it's I get fit for role because I think oh this is someone gonna make me fit which is good right it'll benefit me even a movie you're also in a different place than I am though like they seek you out when I like although I'll tell you off the air this independent thing I'm doing it's like it's a very small part yeah but I still wanna I still wanna look it was good though that's good that's good I don't want to jinx it that's part okay I don't jinx okay great I've got me a cutout anyway yeah but it's fine to eat wherever you want I'm enjoying it yeah I know that is that's the that's the easy bit putting on weight right I mean I still struggle because I vote aye I think I can beat the system right so I think when I I sort of lost weight by just working out okay and this was like 10 years ago but now I still eat and drink too much because I refuse to give anything out including alcohol which is like five six hundred carros tonight just wasted Calibre's right but I physically I can't work out an hour and a half each day now because I'm too old and broken so I'm just so what is the same but there's yeah exactly so it's because it's 80% diet isn't it right so if you could if you if I just like if I just stop drinking wine every night I'd just lose weight without doing any exercise right you're like luckily I'm special this doesn't apply to me what's the point what's the point yeah the hardest food what's the hardest food to keep from shoving your face well I suppose sort of salty fatty carbs things you know like cheese on toast is just amazing it's [ __ ] for naught it's incredible it's just like oh God anyway you can transyl's we're gonna die soon yeah exactly nuts probably means I'm just sick and tired of looking a certain way without a shirt my whole life I've been obsessed with looking in myself on the side in the mirror and I can't stop looking it's all I do is look at my fat well I realized I was getting fat again right is where I just taped the special all right and when I look in the mirror you look straight on it doesn't look too bad but when you're walking around on stage you see yourself from the side you have [ __ ] me how many chins is that what's the face because you can fall is I think so glad you make yourself look better in the mirror yeah you somehow you find a way that it looks okay and then you see at once there you go Jesus Christ who's the fat guy with the short legs and the [ __ ] I love that when that chin goes straight to your chest right they used to go in and have a throat and now when you look in the mirror though you like stick your face out and you'd like tense your chest it's okay because you can't see yourself from the side mirror I had a guy tell me I look like I was wearing a beekeeper mask it is humiliating but you do catch it congratulations shooting the special man the [ __ ] night of the hour is really good we saw it last time you were here and Ricky is going to be at the garden this Wednesday at the the theater at Madison Square Garden he's got dates coming up which we're gonna give away some tickets for okay yeah which they gave us we don't really can't get these tickets but yeah I think we asked far enough in advance for five pairs for this Wednesday and not to one person of course and then we also have a October 30th and November first the Dolby Theatre in LA those are almost sold out so we actually I think I probably decent seats for those yeah great and you got San Francisco in Seattle coming up is that once you shoot though like once you shoot the special don't you want to kind of be done with the material like you'll wash up the tour you do and you still improve it and there's already even the night after this I film this special I came up with an ad-lib and I thought that would have been great yeah you can't go back because you film two nights and I've never not been happy with a special but it's never been the greatest night of the tour right you know just because you're relaxed like you're in the zone when you're taping I'm already thinking about it and I think I have I done that bit if I did that back there now I did that bit better last night and to the you know to anyone else they could intelligence between that one in the night before then I offer after but to me I you know I think the ideal thing would be to someone to take me and not tell me they're taping it and that would be the best special or just tape every show every show yeah yeah I know air tour yeah yeah didn't Rock do that didn't he tape bit solution because is yeah didn't his costumes changed yeah that was the best yeah he kind of wanted to go from three different locations and make it visually obvious that he was doing that right but I don't know if that's good or bad to do I didn't see the special I think he just tape it one one one PI so I type it two nights always and it's always usually being one night you can so you can mix and match but I don't think I've ever mixed it's always been one night was clearly better than another night all the way through I'm so [ __ ] crazy I'll take a bit like look the setup worked better on the 7:30 show but the middle part worked better at the time I remember I remember because you also you see it and you think I fluffed that or but then you cut to the laugh and I think all did that work and I think we'll leave it there laughing so they got it sure so people must get it but it's honestly it's it's forensic when I get into it it's like mad I just I see him I like my lips like touches my tooth for a second and I think oh can we cut on Jesus no one cares no one cares I know but we used because you know it so well but the more important than any of that is just a flow and an attitude yeah important than fluffing lines or it's just setting up if you're in the moment it people go with it is yeah leave the mistakes it's like I always say Midnight Cowboy I'm walking here that was a mistake and it made it on camera yeah I just drove through how you say that every night it's great insight thanks a lot yeah mistakes are lovely and glorious and and they just work and you can't even explain them but you know you've got to really keep you've sort of got to keep the script because it works when you've done a hundred shows you don't want to start thinking I'm gonna change it up tonight because they're filming you want to go oh my god it's killed for the last yeah I want to do that you know so but yeah no it's good it's just when is it coming out of you don't know I probably spring okay yeah are you happy with this set where'd you shoot it London oh you did shoot yeah I'm happy with it because yeah I mean again I can tell the difference when I play London for 13 nights right then when I go to a place I've been before and you know I have to keep him quiet cuz I haven't been there before but that doesn't mean it's a bad time that doesn't mean I'm better and people watching at home they don't care that the audience couldn't wait to see me because I hadn't seen before they were well out cuz the special they don't care about the audience when they're watching at home dunno I mean I don't even shoot the audience I you don't see the audience here one of my specials do you know it's funny I did the same thing I want the black I don't want to see I don't want Comedy Central laughter cut oh but the only reason I started filling a teeny bit of those I [ __ ] myself in the Edit and going to edit with nothing it's like it you can only kind of like jump cut there was no way to do it probably or there are cameras and I do behind me but you can't see the audience because it's black with the two spotlights right in your face so you see the back of me for an O so I use the I of course I used or everything I can for the Edit point but what I mean I said I don't do those hokey shots when it goes the audience really laughs and we [ __ ] the Ihram laughs yeah and also why do you need why you need to tell the people watching oh they were laughing so you should really write you know I was like who's that guy I know in the audience you just you just you just want to give him a taste of what it was like to be there um but you can never get that never you can never get that and when you go to a comedy show it's not like you like look around the audience to be like what's his face look like when he's laughing I never see that guy why I know I think the audience laughs more if they know they're in total blackness and they joke and relax and yeah for a comedy club pirate it's it's private yeah I do think so but um yeah I am I just want to what what's great about the special is that you can't play to everyone in the world it's literally impossible I died before I could play to everyone so you know I do I'd you know do as many major cities as I can and and then it's sort of then so it's more a document really it's more of a document for people to you know but you can't replace their live experience and that's good and that's what's that's what's great about everything everything has happened in the world where everything could be downloaded copied every you can't you can't download going to see a comic live that's what's that's and that can never change yeah there is something about being in the room I like I don't go to many concerts but there is something about being in the room it's just it's a nice feeling and it is different than its heightened as well and you get everything you just you understand everything more I think everything makes sense to be there and in the moment and not not comedic Lee but as an event as a you know as an experience you know I love it now it's my favorite thing I do now stay out honestly I I want to call myself a stand-up now I don't I don't want to call myself a comedian or right director before that's why it's been seven years because I always thought that it was my you know the the third string to my bow and it got put back you know more important things came along sitcom or a film but now is nothing more important to me I want to start straightaway on a new stand-up show why I [ __ ] love it now there's nothing like it and because I'm such a I don't know I want to owe to everything I'm such a control freak and I can't stand anyone not let me do exactly what I want there's nothing like stand up for that you know even if you get your own way on a sitcom I feel you still to go you have to wait for the money you have to wait for the casting to say when's it going out can it go whereas I - I'd say I'm playing in that town I want to go to that town I'm playing it tomorrow is the tickets you know yes there's nothing and you can say what you [ __ ] won it's such a privilege it's such a and I'm so up on freedom of speech now more than I've ever been do you feel more like did you feel do you feel more legit as a comic yeah that's the other thing that's the other thing I I certainly realize now oh I was okay before but I wasn't good I was okay and now I think I'm good and now and and that shouldn't be a revelation that it takes 15 years to be a good stand-up it's a [ __ ] really tough it I'll say art form but it's more of a science because it works or it doesn't so there's so many things to know and and probably science though is that the theory changes every night like what worked last night all of a sudden it stinks tonight it's like what happened like science is provable every way is you much real but that you don't you don't get that once if you're doing a theater or arena tour you don't get that because once you've worked it once you've you know done the warm-up so you've done 20 gigs and it works it doesn't then not work you can have things that go wrong like as a squeaky door or people you know it oh that the time was wrong so people were you know you can have these there but once once the joke works to 3000 people it doesn't stop working to 3000 people you have to [ __ ] it up yourself I think that's true and I have many times this all of a sudden I don't believe it anymore and it's [ __ ] just stinks yeah jokerz but I started doing my act in Reverse I actually have been opening with my closing and going backwards because just to keep it fresh and so it doesn't get boring yeah I don't do that I sometimes I don't give things a chance you know cuz usually when I write it's quite it's quite instinctive um and I go out there and I roughly do it and it roughly works and then it all roughly works and then it all well he works better and it works better and better and better if someone doesn't work the first time I'd look at it and I think is it worth it everything else is why am i I'm not belligerent I don't think are they're wrong this is going to work one day I usually just I've got you know you spread other stuff and you have your favorite thing and you spread that so it's difficult it's d-iii I don't treat it like a I've had a joke that has not worked really at all and I'm like it hurts me so much that I can't make it work you just love it so much I just there's something there and I'm missing it and I know it yeah I asked the audience what's wrong with this and they elicit it worked out Shar was like an hour thing at the saw place called the FAP like [ __ ] can't we just do an hour and they're paying five bucks so they know you're just playing around and I I'm like why does that joke stay and they told me why and I laughed because I was giving the total opposite message in the joke that I thought I wasn't clear oh really what Ana ambiguous terms it said the wrong my wording sucked and it's like I I know what I'm trying to say but I can't say it right I'm just not saying did you make it better no cuz I forgot what the guys answer was my follow up again it's just not working is it come drinking it's just it hasn't worked quite wow I've realized what it was was that they didn't believe the premise like I've said you know when so and so right and it might be a true story but it's really obscure you can't you can't educate and then get a laugh out of it there needs to be there needs to be a time between the education and and then the gag right and sometimes if they don't know about someone they don't but it's almost like you set something up with like it's taken for granted that this is true and the audience's are given convinced of that I did a thing where I was saying how old everything's worse now like terrorists are worse you know Isis you know off the chart has no talking to them IRA they used to give you a phone call right no I don't think enough people knew that the IRA used to call up and warn sure they'd say a bomb in a pub and then I said Isis were like oh we're gonna cut your head off and I'm gonna die kill me IRA was like we're gonna shoot ya what in the head now in the knees and that's another thing they used to do is write a shoot in performance but I'm talking to 25-year olds right and they go I don't know what that means what do you mean shoot them in the knees you can't go back and go so listen the IRA used to shoot people in the knee that's right really funny after I explained it yeah after you explained you can't assume no you have to you have to incorporate knowledge in the joke unless it's so well known you'd have to worry about it but you can't do a reference that you know about if they don't know that reference the jokes crude yeah what's got you on a on free speech now more than ever because you said performing stand-up it's just got you know everything everything that's happened in the world yeah that the outrage the Twitter as you know I'm you know magnified and amplified it and but I just I can't get every day I explained to someone what freedom of speech means particular in the context of comedy and particular in the context of a joke that a joke about a bad thing isn't necessarily as bad as the bad thing it's not even necessarily condoning the bad thing it could be aunty the bad thing people don't look at the actual joke they see the taboo thing and they go you can't talk about that and I think that's ridiculous we can talk about anything we talk about anything now so welcome and that's what a joke is a joke is a very quick discussion so do you feel like you're encountering that more now not like people come now that you can no I'm not I'm cuz I'm I am belligerent against that I go against it and people get it people get it I set it up and I do it intelligently I don't just go out there to try and offend and go let's talk about the worst ever and joke about it because I'm always you know with with a comedian we are considered I don't go out there just a shot I go out there to to fight a taboo and hopefully come down on the right side but I think it's it's almost easier this time because I think they know me now they've known me for 15 years so they know what I'm doing right I mean yeah totally I don't you know that people who come to see me same things they sort of get it but I even said that right everything in this stand that right every everything that's out I'm still dealing with the same taboo issues and discussing them and you know saying the wrong thing for comedic effect ironically doing all the sounds like harsher than ever probably but because I set it up against an outraged culture and against stupidly people and Sonia they get it right but having said that I've played this show - I don't know how four hundred thousand people never to complain right go on Netflix and everyone will complain about their thing sure there's take there's there's twenty things I talked about and there'll be 20 different groups that will pick on their thing in that 20 not the 19 they didn't care about but the thing they do carries cure like like when someone gets sick then they fight for the cure for that disease yeah people just kind of care about what they care for and you know sometimes they are trying to get the publicity in sometimes I think I'll wear with your everyone thinks that their thing they all say well it's different okay well I do jokes about AIDS and cancer and famine and Holocaust occur yeah but they're different people don't realize about this there's a prejudice against this okay well there's pretty much approach this against people who are killed in the Holocaust it's like everyone think no what why me why me well it's not just you it's everyone right so you've just but there's nothing you do about that they are going to be outraged and and I'm going to say well you this is the joke this is how it stands you know and and I don't know what to do really you just got to keep fighting the good fight when you see stuff whether it I'd say it's in the news or you get struck with something and you're like oh I want to talk about this like maybe it's the Harvey Weinstein thing or maybe it's just something you read on Twitter like oh I want to talk about this does it get frustrating because you're like well no because I have my act and like that's what I'm talking about there's nothing I won't talk about how much time so yo you cuz nice come to my club I explained it well I I can stand by I can even stand by if it gets outside of my club alright um but I mean you'll add to this show that you're doing like if there's something you want to start talking about that let me add to it uh or do you just save it for the next one uh no I'll um I'll probably allude to it because you know there's things that that come along that make the thing you're talking about that's the same outdated right I'm saying yes so and if you're talking about the worst serial killer ever and then someone breaks the record you have to start squeezing stuff it's all someone just killed him in America are [ __ ] that joked funny that name but doesn't it also get you moving on new style I guess you start squeezing out the [ __ ] from the back ends like like toothpaste we're like the new stuff starts coming in and then the old stuff gets squeezed out the back and then before you know it you got 20 new minutes and you can drop 20 old minutes and it's like you can almost keep touring that way because by the you keep adding keep adding and then before you know you got a new 50 and ten old rates and then it all just squeezes out yeah I don't I don't really go topical because I want it to be sort of more timeless so quite a better than global as well you know not all not all news is global and not and and not all news is it is topical a week later um so I I'm very conscious of that as well but as I say when you're dealing with AIDS cancer family in the Holocaust sure they're not going anywhere no longer a felony in LA to expose someone knowingly to HIV yes yes from my legal team tour if you know your HIV and you you knowingly potentially infect someone and you do infect them you're you're not you should be a felon but of course it should be a felony but now the new California law I guess because HIV is now stoppable whatever the new penalties are they reduce the penalty for not only exposing someone HIV it's crazy they should IV stoppable now yes what is how but there's drugs you can take what you can't spread it you know drugs you take what doesn't you just keep oh I see but you can't actually live for a long time I wanted to ask you to you're playing a suicidal guy in a Netflix series that you created have you ever been or no well suicidal no have you no so that makes it that's what makes it such a bigger thing that is no well the the the premise of this the setup is that this guy his wife dies after you know an illness and obviously he's depressed and angry and he thinks of killing himself but he doesn't cause the dogs hungry and it just snaps out long enough and he thinks that he thinks that was a you know okay love work and always I can always kill myself so I won't yeah it's what I've always got that in the back pocket right I can always go there so what I'm gonna do now to try and enjoy life is I'm going to punish the world but what happened I'm gonna say what the [ __ ] I want it's like a superpower so he goes I'm gonna say what the I'm gonna say what the [ __ ] I want until it gets all too much and I can then I can still always okay so that's brilliant cuz every day is like his last day on earth every day you just kill himself whatever you can do what he wants yeah yeah and like all superpowers it sort of gets it gets a bit complicated sure because obviously he's not a psychopath he is burdened with conscience so even you know he's got things like guilt and right you know so so it's hard it's fight he finds it hard to do exactly what he wants if you know what I mean yeah so that that's that's what it's all about did you see it's different than the movie with Jeff Bridges replays the guy who survived a plane crash not the vanishing it was it so I figured it's cool he survives a play Rosie president Benicio del Toro he survives a plane crash and he feels like he's unkillable he's in such shock from having survived this plane crash that he he just kind of goes on and just does whatever he wants what he thinks he can't die oh really uh well that's that that's that's the luck is it delusional you mean he's like he thinks he's he's just it's just does he really think he can is it a breakdown no it's a bit of a break fear he knows he can die but but it's called fearless where he just he lives life and like this Hays almost where like every day is like nothing matters anymore because you didn't kill me so I can't die it's kind of like all right right yeah but there's a problem with it you know there's always a problem with there's none of me there's gotta be isn't there yeah for drama yeah yeah I mean otherwise you're just Superman and it's like this isn't Superman without kryptonite it's not a fun story also yeah that wins all the first time insult so many get stabbed to death that's great short just goes one episode how upset would people be if the new Ricky Gervais Sprott was coming out on Netflix and they're like no my Saturday is clear I know in a binge watch no problem and you just turn it on and yeah 30 seconds in looks great in nine minutes yes that's it I get snap the first scene is useiess like you the suicide that you see the homeless guy get a job and it cuts you and you drop dead and the rest of the episode is the wake and that's it spend the money but you do get a conscious you just feel bad saying things that like hurt people like if you say something hurts somebody it's like yeah I know I'm not responsible but there are times only uh I kind of feel shitty about that if I because you don't you don't want to be responsible for her in anyone's feelings but there's a difference between knowingly going out and hurt an individual's feelings to make them feel bad and saying something in a stand-up show that if you found 10,000 people the person might have gone through something like that and it reminds them of that there's nothing you can do about that you're not responsible for that you're not you know and if you're dealing with contentious issues or dark subjects so um everything you know you know I do a thing about I'm imagining what the reason you've seen me I don't know I don't have kids and I go I agree I can I can you know I'd watch it sleep you know yeah and and I'd do it I'd do a thing about my map I don't want my imaginary child to be born in case he dies and stuff and and of course a journalist said well what if someone in the audience has lost a child I go well yeah yeah well what but but what what's the question really I don't I don't talk about something that might have touched someone else that's right that's crazy and you know it's sort of you know it's it's they're not gonna be pleasant subjects I think I think that discussion gets us through things if anything you know as long as I'm not saying hands up is lost a child you yeah that's funny crushing those hands up who's lost a child [Laughter] well you put the hands up in hands up in parentheses for some reason hands up who's lost a child just Ricky looking like she no it's a picture the picture is him on stage pointing its animation Harvey Weinstein there's all this stuff happen in Hollywood is like it's not just him but this like this crazy effect of all of these people being outed and coming like did you see that type of stuff at all or did you not notice any of it like well this descent that predecessor that was happening in Hollywood like we were you able to see any of that or is it just not that apparent even when you're there a lot ah no I'm not really part I'm not there I I don't know I didn't really see it but I assume I assume it goes on because it goes on everywhere so it's you know but now I haven't got any I haven't got any oh I knew because I saw that's all that no I you know I you know I go there twice a year but for the Emmys and the Golden Globes and but now I've and you know obviously I'm not a young vulnerable woman you know so I it's there's a reason why I'm probably encountered it I'm amazed by the petal [ __ ] more than what the pedo stuff that they talked about like there's all these all these people that laid these underground pedophilia like the sexual harassment Alvin has been talking about yeah for years and people laughed at him people have to corey feldman barbara walters you're hurting a whole industry not to be fair they were laughing at everything else corey feldman was doing it's tough to deliver the message that's that's a very good example so the first somebody the golden globes I did feel there or you shouldn't make fun of these wonderful people and I just thought [ __ ] that what you're talking about I shouldn't matter the richest most beautiful privileged people in the world I shouldn't tease them about yes I should right I'm playing the court jester I'm playing low status here I'm I'm sticking it to NBC and the Golden Globes and all the people who are being honored and you know I'm playing the fat guy at home so of course I've got to write and evil at last year I did a joke what was that film spotlight uh-huh I said spotlight great acclaim some said exposure to I was Polanski calls it his favorite date movie and there was you know make fun of her were you to take great so I when I did the joke about Mel Gibson I liked a drink as much the next man less than next - Mel Gibson there was some comedian going on Mel Gibson's a better director than Ricky Gervais I wasn't having a go he's directing he's a great director that's not the bother joke Mel Gibson wasn't able to come back here with a better joke yes and I've got nothing against my lips and he's never abused me right I don't mean but but what I mustn't mention you know and I kept it light and polite right you know the thing that we all know and we see now what did I go for I went a little bit about him getting drunk and saying an anti-semitic thing right right I could have gone deeper as good of things that I would have Mel Gibson drinking is like the least of and again I do you know McMahon when he's down and go but it was just a joke it was just fun you know I didn't I wasn't trying to I wasn't even trying to expose or bring down but the oh I shouldn't go there why shouldn't you go there so fraternity mentality I think we're they're all just trying to kind of cover everything up protect your own until it's over and then you're out well that is why it is Morgan you know whatever you think it was Morgan sometimes he gets it right he did a big article with all these people going how disgusting it is what everyone's saying yes he's a monster he should be kicked out of it and he should obviously but then they're then they're given Polanski with standing ovations right well come on where's the [ __ ] let's keep it a new girl just came out and said that he he molest her when she was 10 porno minutes other girl yeah and the problem here's why I don't like him made fun of because when you do that it kind of shames them over how funny they are by protecting him it's almost like if you make fun of Roman Polanski they all have to acknowledge oh that's right did [ __ ] a thirteen-year-old and we all know it and we still line up to work with him right but if a guy has you know said something racist we'll will ban him from the clock it depends what it is but it is Israeli iftar how loved is how important he was how good his work was how recent the thing is since the work was it during it before Patrice's bit about Michael Jackson mm-hmm can I can i still listen to thriller maybe he wasn't doing bad I don't care about but can I still listen to thriller and people do make those little decisions in their head I wonder all the time like we see photos of the biggest pop star in the world Rihanna and she's just been beaten unmercifully about the face and then within a year it's like oh my god did you hear the new Chris Brown song it's terrific I don't get it I don't get up people that have short memories in the hypocrisy and it's yeah it I mean this isn't yeah what's that Roman Polanski yeah I mean you know accused we gotta be casual you know you know that's but yeah you're right it's that people make make make Allah people make allowances depending on how much it affects their life right they like if they like the part I don't know anything about that all the people that are new and even people who admit and they knew about Harvey Weinstein and now feel guilty that they carried on working with him you know people giving their stuff to charity god I can't give her but I want to go yeah but you made the decision you made the decision yeah I don't really I haven't seen it so maybe I still can do this man I was seen it you know Tarantino like his girlfriend at the time Mira Sorvino he was dating and she told him what did it happen while they were data it happened before he said mirrors has told him she had something happened I think it I think they have been working more but she I'm saying she told him while they were dating and like I mean we have to be a bit careful with with sores Asians and outrage because you know is yes I until none of it's been proven it's all but I mean some things are a slam dunk you know it's really weird too because over the weekend I think at Friday Lupita Nyong'o came out with a whole article describing like what heart it was near it and it was just great it made me think even more because he was talking she was talking about Harvey bringing her to his house where his kids were in Baba blah and I was like well if that is true that probably means that his wife had to kind of know what was going on because you but when again it's it's you know I feel oh if she if she didn't know obviously her and the victims are the victims you know I always think of that I always think that when someone has an affair and I think oh my god the poor wife she's being tricked you know I mean yeah I think [ __ ] now but you've done you've you've caused so much [ __ ] here I bring it up because he came out and denied it her story he was like he released a statement yeah there was like I remember things differently that didn't really happen but he hasn't denied any of the other stories that I've seen it's kind of hard now to deny them because that mean all the story like loopiness story was the last one does that mean all the other stories are true James Toback is actually going I didn't meet any of these women like is Jackie's [ __ ] all in with his denial there's like 30 women accusing him I don't know them and I know that's almost like I'm a germophobe would never think to sexually assault somebody my excuse again this is a good example right because we get flack here for discussing it and maybe making like that we've certainly done something wrong in some people's eyes but we're trying to do it intelligently and fairly and and that's what worries me about the world that if you can't do this intelligent fairly and you know and with stay within the law and not unlike with anyone or I don't know I don't know what really do not I mean yeah it's it's it so people have a go at people for being rude about someone who's done terrible things do you know I mean yeah oh hold on I did a I did I handed out a BAFTA once and there was a another actor which I won't name right but he'd he'd just been done for looking at child pornography okay I think he denied it but I think he was he was convicted and all that right so and I went out and he'd won a BAFTA the year before this guy right and so I went out and handed out and I said damn I've the great honour to hand out an award I said I've won them I've won seven of these myself it would have been a but BAFTA preferred what so-and-so did to me right because he won the BAFTA and and the orders been [ __ ] and I went and I looked at the BAFTA I said what can I say he loves these shiny little thanks and in the next day in this some paper this posh bloke in some sort of posh paper said the batter is wonderful Ricky Gervais is brought the tone down by smugly by smugly having a go at fellow comedian I was thinking hold on you can be smug about not watching child porn yeah it's crazy it's honestly crazy like the James Corden thing outraged now what first thing I want to say about that was it's not the subject it's how bad the jokes were you know there's the James Corden era that the Harvey Weinstein's yeah oh yeah of course yep you know and you know he bouncing around you know I think he thought he was gonna be like edgy and are they gonna love me for this I'm gonna be I'm gonna be carried round going oh you're brilliant you're brave Wow but they were just so rushed and lame and not thought out and the target wasn't clear oh yeah that's the thing about a joke it's a [ __ ] work of art right a good joke is a work of art it takes on everything it's it takes on syntax semantics politics it comedy it takes on everything and it comes out perfect right and then if people don't get it it's their problem but if if it's flimsy and you haven't got the oven that's sort of the targa out and you you haven't delivered it well when it's like if people go what the [ __ ] you doing shouting I'm pay the files what yeah yeah you think karaoke guy from the car stand up or oh no he's not he just hosted yeah yeah yeah that's tough yeah I heard that's the other thing as well I started I sometimes uh you know I wanted a tweet um I talked about contentious issues all the time but I want to end with please don't try this at home and I want to say it's not easy I can't go up there is did you you can't go up there and just saying I think in people go I was fine no it's got to be good you've got to know what you're doing it's a it's walking a tightrope putting telling a joke about a really content and the more emotive and context the issue is the harder it is for people to laugh however good Joe's so the jokes gotta be [ __ ] amazing do you not I mean yes absolutely it's unless you're talking to a room for the Psychopaths then it's got to be really really good you know there's nothing worse than there's nothing worse when you missed the mark I'm like a what it's a bad subject like pedophilia I did something on stage I was making fun of Harvey Weinstein the other night and I was saying how they praised Roman Polanski and I said something about cuz all he did was [ __ ] thirteen-year-old it and then it got no laughs and I went I pretty much just stayed the sad fact I just I stated the fact that was sad like what do I expect applause for recognizing good point stupid we know yeah yeah yeah of course you've got but you know that that's why those things aren't they're probably not great do I'd live about right because you haven't worked out yes saying I don't know how to do it right those golden glow jokes you know I make sure every word counts you know it's equipted clue a gag it's you know I mean it's a piece of poetry every word counts like then the most famous one I did a joke and like ten years ago in a special and III set it up like um it was talked about drink drive and I said I I don't even drive by the way okay I said to him yeah I am I had a drink one Chris was gonna flip the car out and I knew it was wrong and I learned my lesson though because I nearly killed an old woman right I know in the end I didn't kill her in the end I just right there right now that is clearly a pun on nearly right so I even even in the joke I do a thing of swerving the wheel I nearly killed no lady right in the end of the unit and the pun is so oh so the nearly isn't narrowly missing her it's getting out and brutally attacking okay so and people got that right and the paper wrote up saying up Ricky Gervais his disgusting joke he says um I said I went out in a nearly killed an old lady in the end I just raped her no joke at all right no joke just Ricky describing and evening they missed the joke okay they missed the joke that you know and it people don't realize how important every [ __ ] word intonation context is it's it's it's paramount it's it's anything ruins a joke and changes it and therefore changes the point of a joke and the I think the politics of a joke you know you get a joke wrong you are you are [ __ ] evil if you you know I mean yes for saying some that joke is [ __ ] awful because one it's not a joke - it's not mine you know it right it's yeah I'm glad I mean it's it's kind of along the same lines but that you're doing a show on Sirius we haven't talked about the shows coming too serious because so often you know we talk about people who don't know how to get on stage and tell jokes but so often like you know famous people come to Sirius and they start hosting radio shows and they don't have a clue what they're doing and the radio shows are always terrible and it's like what do we doing here but I love that you're coming on board because like you were one of the first successful podcasters like this is a medium that you've actually I love it explored and I love affected and it's a great medium because it's just chat and there's there's there's no there's no better medium than talking right nothing will ever beat that right as to communicate ideas feelings truth it's it's it's it's all we've got left freedom of speech is our greatest privilege and it's gonna save humanity and I think if you get you know a group of thoughtful intelligent people in a room you can talk about anything and it would be interesting to eavesdrop in you know or even join in and and add that music which is to me the greatest art form in the world and comedy which is one of the reasons to stay alive I can't believe my luck I absolutely love it and and you helped me with the pilot and it was great it was it was it was really great and but you know you've got your own show but um and it was really fun and I just wanted to test the waters that I could still talk and it's so funny in the pilot because I start off saying yeah I don't talk to you I people have Richard Dawkins and I talked about the universe and space and the reason we live big issues in that and then immediately we were onto a pile of decapitated testicle yeah alright I felt like I had really taken the dick in the bar way down and we have Sam here and Simon we're the balls and and Sam was talking about a things he says Americans powder their balls with town yeah you know he said cuz its to combat the dude's mouth yeah but he also hates the taste you know maybe powdering ball I've done I've done that I thought I felt a stir but the years ago I do now my balls are sealed [ __ ] 17th century French what do you mean you powder I didn't watch when I was drinking I was wearing army pants I was sweating okay to let the ravenous squeezing into a leather I was just know as drunk at my balls were sweaty and disgusting so my powder doesn't they just turned to like a paste it didn't help because a girl went down on me in her you are sitting on our patio chair much information this would happen too much so we're talking in the nebulous yeah a weird serial killer creeping in and cutting off your bows he has a real story about story ironic laughter but I've told the story about many it's a you you want a powder balls story I got one well they were smelly and I put powder on them what were they smelling on they were just reeking of teenage boy confusion and desperation and sweat it was Miller you know shame lot of it I knew so many got like it used to be a thing like you first guys would get deodorant and they're like you know and you're starting to go through puberty and everything and then by high school I was so confused by it because I never did it but I feel like of course you powder your balls you have to powder your I just have two showers a day it sorts that sometimes a bath right that's that's a I've never I've never gone off at me my posting I've never done that I've never thought [ __ ] me my ball stink what am I gonna do stuck in the jungle for sure what's that smell because we can't sleep at night I've never ever had a problem doctor what is it what is it doctor um oh what's that smell that's what I'm here for doctor it's my ball they smell other things like if you ever doing situps and thought lost someone spilled sour milk no I've never I've never had the problem with smelly bowls I was actually surprised that you didn't know of like when I was like yeah you know guys part of their balls and you're like what are you talking about like what are you talking about well I suppose we'll new I suppose in that I don't know maybe when I was a baby oh yeah sure when your baby I dunno I'm not the Bose Seco you're 28 when's the first time you remember your armpits stinking do you remember that the first time you notice like oh I stink probably at school after playing football in my uniform and then sitting around in it and yeah [ __ ] something's jamming the first time wearing white t-shirt what the [ __ ] is that yeah old old sweats bad innit oh yeah I said you enter an airport and you go Jesus Christ where people have been on stuck on a plane for 20 out and they come out and an airport can reek of can be oh I know it's a horrible smell I think the worst smell the worst smell worse than anything right [ __ ] sweat smegma anything sure is halitosis a real bad halitosis that's the worst I can it like it takes the [ __ ] oxygen out your lung yeah delete the other three are great fetishes the only sexual website that doesn't exist it's been a while but I used to go to like pro wrestling conventions where like old wrestlers go and they sign autographs and fans pay to go here everything did you swap train numbers the crowd it gets drawn is like yes the most flatulence and your body odor that stays in the room and halitosis yeah and all unwashed hair yeah all of it just inside one hotel go to go to a car go to a cat show and that's some that's a hell of a gene pool I'll bet the crossover between people who like wrestling and people who go to car shows obviously I'd bring my why and I guess when you're there like because you chose to be there you kind of can convince yourself to ignore it but like I bring my wife was my girlfriend at the time yeah what the [ __ ] is that smell where you taking me I want to show you that I'm not a freak look in with his symmetry symmetrical face how the parts where they shake I'm gonna tell my wife to watch they get old wrestler to sign some guy that's a really weird day I did really would be standing on waiting just bathing in the filth and the stench Travis Bickle was a better movie day so um so your teenager you have disgustingly smelly testicles one reason one time recognized and I put powder on them and then they blew me sitting on her back patio furniture and I'll never forget I dropped my pants and she started the tour have you ever have you ever thought oh I can't tell that story doesn't even come close we know when you were sort of coming of age right when did you start thinking about sex or like eleven twelve like everyone else yeah yeah me apply around there and did you go oh my god that's I can't have those thoughts I can't I can't go down that road did you ever think I've got to sort my life out because I'm thinking some really [ __ ] I don't mean to embarrass you because you can't it's [ __ ] impossible I found out just recently that when Jim was a kid yeah he had in him and a couple of his other guy friends they used to stand around and this is like young and they would trade sucks oh oh you mean what do you think I meant yeah the trade sucked we would uh it's not a statement okay trade products like yeah like you give me 20 and I'll give you 20 talk like that I know I know they weren't guys that's what's weird about if someone talked about eating sauerkraut it's not your food of course to be like how old were you though 23 no I was probably like this I was abused before fourth grade so I'd say like that that's the second grade third grade seven eight oh that doesn't count then it's like seven years old second age that was there any idea I used to I used to a similar story except it wasn't dicks it was sort of like sort of football cards we used to Train mm-hmm so no I got that what I need that though I remember one bloke said um do wanna trade sucks I go down and I just do let's just do the cards for now and someone suggests it not one other person goes one guy well you got to make it sound cool right like one guy starts taking his pants down and the other guys like what are you doing and he's like we're not gonna trade socks are you guys cool like think of that right I've always thought of this when I see like I'm three men have been arrested for abducting a child right I think old on when they're in the pub right is this what you want to do one says trying to go to the match I don't know what's telling other words you want abduct a child and the other two go yeah what's the chances starts that conversation listen do they did he try it five times like and I go what I'm joking I'm joking until he find the right - I mean I'm kidding I'm kidding joking I'm sure and I'm sure in every group there's like one guy who's like I know I was just going along with it I didn't realize we are now we're in trouble I know I mean it happens now because the [ __ ] dark web what is the dark web why is there a dark web why is traceable Internet but how about how do people know about it do you have to do this you need a certain browser or browser tor browser I don't know how you find the sites I don't know if they have a Google version on that like I don't I don't know I don't know much about that but apparently people don't do it for the reasons that of that monsters they're just stealing movies or music is the same thing is it always see we're trying to buy drugs or drugs always for hire I mean there's literally like their stores set up on the dark web where you can just go and buy heroin and cocaine just like and it's not like label this it's just like it's delivered yeah they send a FedEx but hold on though if anyone knows about it why aren't is this a naive question why aren't the FBI looking and go they do they do and they started it but then this other guy starts hitting this other guy and it's way more difficult to to track because all the IPS get blocked yeah there's a way for them to do it with like bundles of stuff that's going out of but it's like oh yeah yeah Jana to get my iPhone up once a Jane went to Brighton to see a mum one night and I couldn't use the remote she had to send me a little drawing of the remote control to tell me which buttons to press in order to get the TV on there's a lot of photos of her all by herself I just I just hang back and just go and just go and when there's no one around okay Jay with all the - you're out walking you should look around realise there's nobody wait a minute a little paparazzi was right I forget what it was but there's something like she was holding her phone and the captures nope no calls [Laughter]

Channel: Jim and Sam Show

Views: 247,680

Rating: 4.809207 out of 5

Keywords: Ricky, Gervais, Jim, Norton, Sam, Roberts, Jim and sam, sirius xm, faction talk, deadly sirius, introduction, weight loss, acting, stand up, london, stand up special, humanity, humanity tour, madison square garden, freedom of speech, science, isis, twitter, netflix, harvey weinstein, aids, suicidal, Golden Globes, Los Angeles, hollywood, scandal, pedophilia, rihanna, patrice o'neal, mel gibson, roman polanski, piers morgan, james gordon, balls', powdered balls, emmys, drunk, outrage, James Tobak

Id: TMlGqSwYqu8

Length: 56min 33sec (3393 seconds)

Published: Tue Oct 24 2017