KPCS: Ricky Gervais #330

[Music] [Music] [Music] welcome back once again to Kevin Pollak's chat show I am as always chat show how are you what the hell is happening why aren't you with us right here at the Westside comedy theater in Santa Monica California go to the what their website and check out all the shows coming up wet side comedy calm and write to us don't forget at KPCS fan mail at gmail.com what was that KPCS fan mail at gmail.com thank you for asking you can turn that up by the way that's helpful we've been away a bit I was in Hotlanta it's the sound of our guests knock oh well I was in Hotlanta on this jason reitman motion picture still in the business I know hard to believe called the front-runner about the fall of Gary Hart believe it or not there was a time when the press did not follow around a presidential candidate nor was he tweeting and Gary Hart was patient zero but maybe you should know better before getting on a ship called monkey business maybe maybe that crosses your mind as a married man maybe that's not it's a whimsical name it is a whimsical name who doesn't want to be involved in monkey business by the way quite lucrative it was the blur STUV times he's working on a hundred typewriters to write the world's greatest novel yeah Simpsons the bigger thing for today's guest he's not only a Simpsons fan but twice I think thrice and also I think directed an episode where we'll ask him Jamie how are you I'm great be here you were there you were at Cory Levin yes sitting in for Sam IV am slightly different spelling just going up not Sam I think we're gonna go with not Sam yeah perfect oh no that's a whole other thing yeah I didn't want to say it yeah that's a whole other thing my mouth I realized that I won't want to do a minefield not Sam Levine is fine okay Thank You Tori for sitting in for Sam it's my cliched you being here a Jamie and I went to a show last night in the Hollywood California Saturday night on the Halloween weekend great time to be on the road just a lot of what were we looking forward last night on the streets a handful Oh disappoint where's the [ __ ] no that's the thing like they're not even costumes it's just like I put on these spandex hot pants and a bra and I don't even know what I am right it's just like I'm just like they're not even costumes anymore yeah it's just I'm just gonna put on underwear uh-huh that's right and little bags looking not for candy but penises I think that's what they're looking for recent guess you wonder Bryan Cranston Michaela Watkins Billy Bob Thornton Christopher Guest Lauren Graham JK Simmons just to drop a few name was that upcoming guests the wonderful and vivacious Edgar Wright Pamela add lon and from Zach Galifianakis show baskets the hilarious and purposely stiff Martha Kelly loved her so much my god II can't wait for this that's next Sunday actually all right let's not put this off any longer we've we've threatened for so long that the the real joke would have been - do not do not have him here that would have been and it was closed last night touch-and-go when we went to see the show please welcome Ricky Gervais how are you let's get it out of the way that you are not just under the weather but it's a bronchial I think which is the worst for a performer I had this thing for three days last night of the show and I was I was drugged up and taken cough medicine and and what I thought was dayquil and then an hour before I went on I looked I've been taking nyquil so that that was scary that was like a bucket that really a tingle down my spine I called James I said what do I do she should be okay it's okay it's only they and I started that I'm I'm already hyper contract anyway but when I am ill I'm twice as ill I'm all I meal when I'm not ill Chitra so I was ill and thinking that I'm gonna I felt nauseous neither AMA I'm gonna find and I somehow got through somehow yeah I was wondering if if hitting the extra-large can of fosters was helping well I think everything being the same how so I didn't want to suddenly stop drinking because I'm ill I've never done that I don't I don't I don't see why breweries have to suffer cuz I know it's not there but why why am i punishing them I know a lot of people take take take you're a giver yeah so I've got some sort of from cool flu thing and it yeah but I'm drugged up now so I I think it's good to explain it in case I start choking I woke up this morning honestly it was like somewhat from Victorian times I was just coughing I thought I'd give the iron I know yeah yeah but this was I did understand anything you said in that in the opening I didn't understand anything okay well it was a good start look I don't know if that was because I'm ill or you were talking nonsense what didn't understand anything which part I don't know I don't know I can't remember okay I didn't mean didn't mean anything to me how about this we got the whinging out of the way the windy yeah which is the word I learned from from listening to the original podcast I didn't know what whinging what whinging is it is in English yeah yeah and it comes from it just it just went it just means everything's everything's crap everything's planning complaining complaining pessimism and so that's just gonna rain not your dad no no exactly yeah it's British proper to be whinging also okay first the Jews all the bit of Jews are older than both something probably I don't know yeah well who invented whinging someone knows that definitely Jews British invented the word yeah yes well yeah we had the act yeah exactly pretty well yeah yeah we didn't we couldn't give it a name we were enjoying it so much until today is also I forgot to mention the opening my last day of my 50s right you talked in the show last night about aging I think for the first time in your act yeah I suppose so and I don't remember and it wasn't whinging it was molasses my last alibi was 49 which seems a bit premature to start whinging about age even though it even though I found middle age from about 35 I sort of embraced that because I've always been lazy so I thought I'm I'm old enough now to say it's age yeah whereas I always like I never liked noisy pubs I always wanted a seat I so I took advantage but I think I think 56 you can legitimately talk about aging yeah I think you're allowed yeah I think in your 50s I remember the thing that always annoy me about people in their 20s was that whenever they would say you know I remember and I would say no you don't no one cares we don't remember anything but from a comedic point of view as well that's a big plus for a comedian because it should be about complaining and keeping your low status and a 21 year old comes out and complains about the world and I'm going [ __ ] off you've got hair plenty of it do i mean yeah i can't i can't leo 20 all your whinge about being too sharp tough it's oh so it's just it just allow i think it helps and that's an interesting point about being low status because I sort of embrace the fact the audience know I'm doing okay - traditionally to be a comedian you were a fool you were low status so you could say anything you want because you're lower status than the audience was I I can't do that I can't really pretend that I'm having a bad time financially or you know Steve Martin was the first one I remember who went on stage and while playing a buffoon also was playing I'm wildly successful well I do that ironically and I get my I get my status back in two ways I invite them in and let them know what you think it's fun flying privates or meeting the Queen listen what happened to me right right but you know that it's all crazy and I shouldn't be there so I do like that I should be there I always play the guy I shouldn't be that I shouldn't be in this house I shouldn't be living in Hampstead I shouldn't happened you know I mean yeah and the other way I do it is I let them know they're better off than me in many ways because they are 21 and I'm gonna die soon that's right so I get my those days but I don't don't you feel sorry for me if anything I'm yeah so yeah that's the way I do it and it's good that you're playing it I can't believe this was happening to me cuz most of the audience is thinking it so we were at your sold-out performance and I also think it's a testament to what a great guy and I'm still willing to do this you know if I hadn't chef made the first fire shot over the bow oh yeah you started might have avoided yeah any and all of that last night was I truly hilarious and often painfully honest while being deeply funny which I did because we saw you last time he came through it's like meeting the Queen afterwards just show business just lined up afterwards that was the briefest time and the first time we met for like 90 SEC everyone got 90 seconds with you when you came through and played the same theater while you and I don't remember that I thought you know because there were 75 people lined up to kiss the ring he was unbelievable so I gave each one of us got 9 seconds and the only way I made any made you laugh was you were doing the Hitler meets Nietzsche all right and you did this on the lectern that's right and you and when I pointed it I said you've reduced Hitler to death that's when it started working and you said that's what it said so I had this bit one of the first bits in my one of my first specials and I'd read that Hitler had been influenced by Nietzsche right which obviously no fault of Nietzsche he took it the wrong way like all men some men are more equal than others that's all that you need to do so I do that thing and I imagine that Hitler calls nature for me in the years I loved your book you know man Superman not everyone's equal kill all the Jews need to go so I kill all the and it's a misunderstanding and then and Nietzsche goes you don't make any Jews over you and hit there goes and then I did that right the play I really went okay and then when I put Hitler on the back foot being told off it took off what it was I don't even kill six million and suddenly Hitler being told off right you've made Hitler a victim and that's when I think the stand up you can elevate it beyond just its words when you start acting out because it's suddenly it's like you've it's like you've animated the words yeah because the words I mean there's a scale of performance some performers are as good with the sound down some performers are as good without with your eyes shut right and you sort of want to be in the middle you want the words to count but you also want the body language to add to it and hundred percent and and I'm not a big fan of just semantics and syntax I'm not a fan of a of a joke that works well if you read it as well as that comedian doing it I want I want a comedian to be able to do it better than I can write does not make sense and animating it it is the perfect analogy yeah because you're bringing it to life and I started like most people I thought it was almost cheating because it was it seemed too easy and it's too it's too good by personifying animals that was the first routine I ever wrote but just giving an animal human aspects and thoughts yeah that which we know deep down they don't have right that the way we do and trivializing them and that that was that was my first bit of stand-up from and it was actually deconstructing how awful the early internet was because my first bit I did about maybe I don't know mm - and it was about it wasn't regulated never one gone there and do their fact and they weren't facts there were just people's opinion so people would put these spurious facts on like mountain goats but head so hard their hooves fall off and that's not fact it's not fact is it and so but it gave me this used to act out and act out the goats going you still use to still on the yard grip you know animal Corning another animal was fun right you know yeah I love that I love that sort of bringing it to life animals acted out last night I I want to think well first of all you are the dog the chimp but it was the dog all the chimp yeah the chimney oh no the chairman the dog is getting their duties and dogs getting their journey again you don't write that stuff right you you write that stuff in your head and then the first time you do it you do the stuff right and you're not even yeah I'm not I'm not thinking I'm gonna do that Jimbo I'm gonna do that with a dog it you do it because that's you know if you an expressive person and you act out right and it just it just brings in life which one has to hunt the Lions the Rhodesian Ridgeback his response to being but assign that as is just sorry was well yeah I just thought you missed it again again the sleight of hand there is that a dog knows what it's being bred to do so right yeah yeah it must be the shock to it when it found out you having lions well yeah it's not happy with it it's not happy with this this bed it would take on the human characteristic of thinking you might have been mistaken yeah I've got and you said of course it loves the love goes no seriously at what yeah yeah I've been passing the buck why can't the Rottweilers hunt lions they're shaking babies they're shaking babies and also just blowing past bad and not spending any time talking about what you're actually talking about yeah so you do address the aging thing and and one particular aspect of aging that that comes to mind and then you also share a spent a good deal of time talking about your life on Twitter which you know authentically could have its own show well at this point yeah I mean that again that's a it's a means to an end because I don't get avert Li political particular not party political in fact I think more of an ally than any other place they thought I was going to go there when I said the world's likely worse for the last couple of years and it was a and I go and I don't I don't go no because I talk about it I've talked about things implicitly but not pi people so I talked about stupidity versus you know the smarts and I talked about irrational versus rational I don't you know and I also think there is there isn't really party politics anymore because no one looks at the argument they just look at who's saying it and it's in its fallen into two tribes so it doesn't count you can't really you can't it doesn't count to go after Trump it almost doesn't count because do you know I mean yeah it's like I don't I don't I don't blame everyone else but here it is is you can't legislate against now it's it's impossible so no and it's also like talking to a drunk yeah this point it's it's up or past logic yeah we've driven way past a logical conversation the house I've sort of I've sort of given up even even the tweets aren't funny anymore because then they're only as bad as the one before it's like so what yeah I'm desensitized now that's the mob maybe the most startling part well yeah a year ago think of any other president tweeting anything he's tweeted go that's a bit that's a bit weird what's going on he's going after Meryl Streep that phony baloney yeah last week he was in a fight with a war prisoner of war with brain cancer and a war Widow there was six months pregnant that was the dude it's in its own way perfect yeah so I don't really I don't know I don't go there in comedy as much as I do now or on Twitter or even just like a normal person I am political I suppose yeah I never was till last year but now I am fascinated with politics what's happened in the last year but I keep out of the show and comedy in general because I think if you're relying on the audience agreeing with you you're losing stomach immediately that's rallying I don't like it from the other side and I don't like it from my side or whoever side I I it's cheating yeah it's cheating yeah I mean you're you are seller separating the your audience members yeah I mean you're already doing that separating them from those who have been raped and those who haven't been so why bring politics right out of context this sounds perfect if 90 minutes of nuanced comedy yeah it's really the worst reduction possible we're turning off yeah I I love good I love how that comes through in a review that they will take 19 minutes build-up of nuance and well that's the thing isn't it that the it is bigger than the sum of its parts and everything's contextual and I keep dropping these things to make them think the ways and I set them up for these things I warned them I'm gonna say somewhat that's really offensive and right and then I was and they're ready for it and then I accept because they know what I'm doing because I've warned them it's not coming out of the blue I'm not I'm not being sort of crass or trying to [ __ ] out at all and that or trying to offend yes it's a it is a discussion and it and it needs it does need that time to do it and any one of those jokes or routines or punchlines out of context would look horrendous because they haven't seen the build-up and what I'm doing they haven't been primed they don't I'm telling them how to think I'm taking them on a journey yeah and it's you know you wouldn't you wouldn't show someone I've seen from a film and expect to know what's going on and there is that there is a narrative because there's there's a build-up to it and and that's important as well yeah it what I love about the time you spend talking about tweets and what people have said to you and how you've responded and and also the runner through the show which is [Music] I should have left it should have yeah I should leave it and and they shoulda left it and of course that's again that's a double-edged sword as well because even though it looks like I'm winning an argument on Twitter I'm losing mm-hmm because they brought me down you've engaged I've engaged they brought me down I'm the real loser it's getting to me dude I mean I'm gonna live in a mansion and they're in a bin and made one because I want to slam them do you not I mean just want to write down again like an angry at some some dying [ __ ] who shouted at you know what with what you ever done by the way lost you've got you've already lost yeah and that person in the bin British translation to American trash can yeah yeah yeah would have a cellphone absolutely well again yeah the homeless Oracle oh yes Jesus you do have a particular bit of fun with one tweet from a rather serious Christian fella who wrote to you regarding the laughs he'll have when you're in hell that whole section is spectacular because of various reasons but but my personal favorite was that he would have to find himself there in order to have them well it's it's it's someone saying that they can't wait because I'm an atheist they can't wait for me to be being raped in hell and and in here be laughing and so and when you start off with a crazy premise raped by the Satan yeah right so when you start with the crazy focus the more you deconstruct it the funnier is right because that it's crazy is crazy built crazy on crazy so he's this angry person come from this point of view to and there's nothing like the truth I mean when I got that tweet I couldn't believe my luck honestly I saw dollar signs this is ten minutes this is at least ten minutes here yeah you know right yeah acting out all the pieces it's again it's like cheating that it's like wow it's distant this man has made me just tweeted me thousands of dollars which you know I mean yes which is why you do need to engage sometimes to see for the bits sake of course yeah what what is the life of this oh now I go looking for it I don't get trolled I don't I don't get tolerance where really I I have to look for them I get one juicy idiot a month you know it's like yeah I mean there is real trolling on Twitter and it's and their misogyny on Twitter is I don't it's all mites they're Psychopaths out there but only because they are anonymous right they're probably not doing bad things because they're terrified living in a bin and but you know I I do embrace I do embrace this madness i watch reality shows and and I embrace that because of you know it gave me the office and extras and all those things and it is a guilty pleasure and same as Twitter and there are mad people on Twitter but there are mad people in High Street we've got to go there so yeah and it is what you make it it's just another form of communication well 20 years ago long before the internet you would hear the phrase opinions like [ __ ] everyone's got one in the arts thing and it didn't mean anything in terms of I don't have to hear everyone's opinion yeah and that is the unfortunate cancer well of Twitter and it still other choice because it is like reading every toilet wall in the world at once right but it's your choice to do that either it date their virtual they don't exist know if you don't turn on your phone so you know I tell you in-game until you engage yeah and again there's good and bad in that it doesn't really matter you know there's great fun in just retweeting the most horrendous the possible and letting all your followers go after that personally well again it depends because sometimes sometimes people make a mistake and I don't want to some people are sometimes they are mental [ __ ] evil [ __ ] right and you want you [ __ ] you you idiot right yeah yeah but I don't want to give him that because the number of times I've I've retweeted and slammed that and then they go I can't believe I got retweeted by Ricky Gervais is I've got what you're a fan you just want you to get attention and that that's really confusing because people now would rather be known as a in India but not known at all that's right and I don't get it and I think oh and then I'm confused I think where they said some are well they didn't mean it because they wanted my attention that's really sad yeah so I don't know what to do so now I you know I usually ignore them um but something like that way is just too good to ignore them but it is it is a minefield you have to know which ones to retweet which ones to ignore which ones to plot and that's my favorite part of the animation within that hunk was Satan having sex because you got to animate him having sex and also choosing at one point he'd made the wrong choice yeah he was into me he's bored with me and then he finds a you [ __ ] atheist he's bored right and he finds that was a fundamental question up here on him like a ton of bricks yeah so it's the fact that you can't believe his luck that the odd question yeah and there's there's an animated saven there's an animated Hitler but it's but it's but it's all from this guy's point of view and reply only taken his perspective of Hell and I've taken it on if this is true yeah now where do we go i don't deconstruct it incites nonsense i go know if this is true then this is true as well yeah so let's let's build this world that this guy thinks exists yes yes but also just that you've become a cartoonist I'm sort of latching on to that yeah our animating these stories for us well it it does have to have a visual aspect because they've they've come to a theater and they're watching me and they might as well buy on the record so I do have to give them something more and it's not just being there and that is a big part of life and that's why it's now my favorite thing of everything I do live is my favorite thing for for at least five reasons and probably more and yeah people ask because the movies are stuff they'll say well which do you prefer and there's there will never be the drug like being on stage honestly and I've only discovered that this year I've only discovered that this year really really yeah I suppose I've been doing any of this for what 15 16 years and stand up only as long as that as well and gonna die right away minute hold that thought and I always thought it was like the second or third string to my bow I thought it was a writer-director maybe an actor and I did stand up so I thought I should and I really enjoyed it and I was okay it but now I realized I wasn't great in it I was fine and in the mix we're actually at now now are now I'm a real stand-up and I'm a real stand-up not just as I say I am but that's important mm-hmm that is an important commitment to say I'm a stand-up first and I'm willing to say that this year well you won't get any of our real respect unless that's how you feel and I do now and um yeah um and I think it's also because the audience know me as well so I can go further yes so they know me like and they want you to well you could they know what I'm doing now right there's no ambiguity I don't have to flag up irony and satire no dark a friend a friend doesn't get going I'm joking you know what I know you are you're my friend I know you I know though so that helps um but also I realize what a privilege is particularly in this time we live in this post truth era um freedom of speech is so precious and truth is so precious and the fact that I have this platform as a we need a guy talking about freedom of speech all throughout the set yet out ever say about that I would like to talk to you about freedom of it is about exactly it's about that it's about offense culture yeah and what that causes and and Jimmy you come in and on we live in the apologized society Society of people constantly having to apologize yeah they don't have to and that annoys me as well because you could be wrong and you can say sorry and that's called right but then you can be wrong by popular vote and then say sorry because it damages your career and you want to come back into that know that that makes it worse I'd rather people go do you know what I said the joke I mean the joke [ __ ] don't if you don't like it thank you yeah and everyone has the right to say what they want but with that you know freedom of speech comes freedom of backlash as well you have to be you know willing to you're not allowed to go well I said some at NASA but then they said something nasty back and that's not fair right well you know it the risk is you will be unpopular and lose movies and - but no I have to be honest you'd have to be on it own it talking about and that's why it's so important from a comedian to own their own labor and that's the other thing you know um I don't have to apologize to anyone there's nothing that can happen to me outside breaking the law that will affect my career as a stand-up comedian because that's best gonna be enough people in fact comedian hot water I addressed it I sell more tickets what is this hot water I haven't broken the law what is this why am I in hot water right you mean you didn't like the joke we won't coming anyway right you're not other gigs yeah no and the bigger you get the more people love you and the more people hate you all right that's more but the people that hate you they're they weren't buying your DVDs or going to shows anyway so all you've done it's got more people who like you they're the ones that they're the only ones that affect your life and they're rooting for you for you to stand up for what you say exactly you'll be letting down your fans by turning around and saying I'm sorry I was I was I didn't know I was doing I was only 55 do you know I mean yeah it's like it apologize somebody did a 15 maybe yeah but I thought we did yes year Jamie I realized it was the PC nature of life that we live in now that you were commenting on did most likely yeah yeah and there's again that's a double-edged sword as well political correctness because political correctness per se is a good thing the people has came in to protect people's rights and and not to say nasty things about people's things that can't out to to not be racist to not be sexist to not be misogynistic and that's good but then it got mugged by people going well if they're not if I'm not allowed to be racist then they're not allowed to talk about so much I don't like and it's like well they're not the same things they're not the same things you can't you know just cuz I'm sorry I said just because you're offended doesn't mean you're but it is wrong I think to to hurt people for fifithump they can't help again that's my own morality that that's it I don't go after those things I'd go after behavior or I go after things they can't help ironically I'm playing the idiot guy and everyone gets that now ya know you you talked a lot about your getting into trouble yeah saying X yeah exactly and then breaking down the trouble you got into the comment you made owning it and then driving through it and making it actually funny like the whole Caitlyn what on earth stuff well I go for them I go for the most contentious to boo subjects for a reason because they're there they're more exciting and and also the more emotive an issue is the harder it is to get over that hump from to laughter and that's the challenge for me because a lot of offense comes again I'm sort of on the side of the offended here in a way because um when I talk about taboos of ketosis or go there and there's a lot of work that goes into that making that joke bulletproof okay and when someone does it lazily and they get in trouble I go will you because the joke was rubbish right you can't just go out and say so much because that's lazy it's like you yeah you should people I'm offended because the jokes awful good I mean or the targets wrong or so um you've got to make those when you've worked out hard to build this particular boat well that's what me to realise as well that it's um people do a column and they they work on it for months but when we do a show we've worked on it for years right you know I mean we this is not this is not luck why these jokes work every night you know I asked you last night how many performances you've done of this particular show and I think you said 100 100 yeah and that makes it illness proof so last night in my head I'm thinking oh this is this is going Wow is this gonna and of course it was because I've done 100 so that you know um but I think that's the that's the important thing that we have worked on it there's a great um Picasso in his light ears used to do sketches for charity a big line of people need to do it on it was $200 or something and there was a queue and this woman he said old doing sketches he just did a squiggle like that right and and she read what you're gonna charge me $200 for that it only took me a few seconds and he said it took me all my life I love that yeah I love that and I think the a three second joke about something it's everything goes in fact over jokes a piece of poetry every word counts and that's what really annoys me when I paper pick up a gag and they get it slightly wrong and say how offensive is because that is offensive that's not my joke what you've written every word counts in my joke yeah um yeah so there's another great quote of Joseph Heller's that when you were asked that well under the one of the guys of the whole pressure of what's next what's next you generally said you haven't done anything as good as catch-22 yeah and he said neither is anyone else right I love that yeah but I were being honest you haven't done anything as good as I know yeah Nega who has yeah though there's anyone yeah yeah that was the worry device went east it's like a difficult second album if you want to not make it so difficult don't do a really good first album yeah I'm a little bit [ __ ] and then a second to be all right you've slept in it they're having you yeah you devastated the crowd with your three reasons for not having children you know we're we're not breeders either and there is so much it all starts with people saying you're not having children and you're commenting on why aren't we going yeah yeah people say why aren't you having children which is nothing I say it's not to the side because what you'd ask people why they do have children and I mean and I mean that to be you know mine's in a mission not an act so I didn't do anything why you asked me why I didn't do something won't ask well they did do something and then that turns into why do you have children I eat children awful why would you have children so let's ask the fat lady in the leggings why she's had eight shall we write so i skewer it but then i do but i then do i do do my my three three reasons why i don't have children yeah and any treason worse and more selfish than the birds but it's very in-depth and and it's it's yeah there are these sort of set pieces now right in the yeah which have grown organically right which is a line that becomes acting out you know it breathes on its own every time acting out the baby in the cop is now yeah is now is now a piece of tragic a small play it's a small it's a three-minute no our play isn't it yeah yeah well that is that's why the live performance wins and will win every time not just how endorphin that's actually set off and in the sense of power when you're on stage doesn't exist in real life but it's also it's it's it get the feedback as well because I love it individual is I hear someone there go yeah and I'd nearly laugh you know it's lovely it's lovely I hear that ripple it's like what about this there's invariably someone in the front well I can't see the audience even the front row I can't see the audio I hate to see them it's black out two spots spots there I can't I just can't see them I don't want to see that you know I don't because I don't want to I don't want to pick on anyone I don't want to make anyone feel self-conscious I think they I think they feel better if they feel that they're in the dark and there and they're anonymous and so yeah I can't I can't see all that but it sounds good I can hear them which is good I want to ask about the new radio show which you also announced that I saw on Twitter was announced on Twitter and as you claimed they made me an offer I couldn't refuse however your plate is overflowing so you're not going to do this unless it's something you want to do yeah well when I say that as well you know that's a bit of marketing I want people to be excited about it I want there's no that I thought about it and I thought about three years they've been offering me a show for three years and I never wanted to do I never wanted to be a DJ I never wanted to do five I said in the you won and so eventually I was always I always went on Sirius I went on opening knee then I went on gym and open gym now Jim and Sam I'm a friend of the show I'm a friend particularly of Jim Norton I met loads of people there was a great great vibe and I kept saying to the boss listen if I ever do a radio show this is it and I kept that I did and then it sort of and then he said you can do it anywhere and in your pajamas at home yeah and so I don't literally evade they book a studio near my house in London I kept my chums in I didn't want to do it I didn't even want to do it once a week regularly because I didn't want to give that up I hate I can't stand it it might be OCD I can't stand not fulfilling anything you know that's why I'm here today dying I didn't want to let anyone down and so I've pre-recorded them I'm gonna do can we edit they're just there's a little video babe yes um so I'm gonna do it's just three series of turned over the year and then maybe I'll do another yeah but um I want them to be happy with it I want it to be I want it to make there'd be you know financially viable for them because they you know it's it's a lot of money for what it is so there'll only be ten over the course of a year no 30 on the Dupree series of - yeah which I can build up and so I know it's in the can I can't let anyone down but I've already got six in the can I do for next month and that'd be the first ten right now started going out so a treating me more like sort of TV and and it's still look it's like this it's three it's always three people me a comedy charm maybe an eminent guest or another comedy chairman and you're talking about minutiae of life yeah again the it it's gonna be it's not about what happened on telly last night so we do a bit about the background I'm introducing people that America might not have heard of that comedians in Britain who are great but they haven't made it in America or not even trying but really funny interesting people with interesting lives we talk about comedy talk about music talk about the big issues you know and then we throw in guests like Richard Dawkins and you know Professor Brian Cox so you know that the dork is when it's all about where we came from but we deconstruct in a really easy everyone can understand evolution from that era and it's funny as well because you know so when they said that one or more have dropped already on Sirius what the first woman out with Ben Bailey Smith it was my co-star in life on the road and Huey Morgan from fandom of criminals and that we talked about their upbringing and stuff that's all right yeah it's just it's just it's just a chat really so you're saying there won't be rock busters they would no there's no the old there's none of the nonsense well I say that I say there's not it's not there's none I've grown up it's nothing nonsense and then the first episode the pilot episode we talk about a big pulsating pile of decapitated testicles when you cover fossa of serial killers lair so perfect so who knows yeah I've got a couple Rock Busters for you yep because the fans of yours need this right they're just a couple now the ones that happen no I still won't remember them you know these are fresh they're fresh and fresh devised by our very own core 11 that Helms bloke is getting a load of wool off his sheep isn't he initials es I'd shave very good The Magicians rod is pretty stiff what's going on there initials OD that's a tough one actually well this is what the magician's the audition the magician's rod is pretty stiff what's going on there this one's [ __ ] up I don't know this is gonna annoy me go on it's gonna know initials are OD yeah did I mention that yeah okay so it's one direction or wand erection it was meant to annoy you might be a lie but wasn't that been Aiden of it isn't that part of need another take rock Buster's back in the day is that is kind of beautiful effect well done let's leave it at that let's quit while we're ahead so that I did put it out to to the Twitterverse to ask a few questions and we're only gonna share a couple go on but we will this one from our very own I guess he's exactly a nerdy Fox 108 yeah my Disney friend yeah you exactly you mentioned something about this which is why this was perfect so Zak which is at nerdy Fox 108 please share anything and everything about working with the Muppets so yes we he's one of my Disney friends we go to Disney theme parks together and we love the Muppets yeah this great Muppet attraction now at Liberty Square at Disney World it's crazy fond of everything just just fun I love I love the Muppets always other methods I love I did Sesame Street and honestly it was a highlight but Elmo just makes me laugh Muppet Christmas Carol was one of the best films ever and it's the only way you can improve Dickens sticks and Muppets in it works for everything does Muppet Schindler's List who would be in the race and finds role would you watch Muppet would you cast voltar sure this move on from this I mean ha yep I've macabbee onus we have a chain of grocery stores on Los Angeles called routes which I've we call how I know right all right and just for the potentially but yeah all so I must have grabbed you when you were a kid because they're beautifully subversive yeah I didn't realize it at the time and I didn't realize until I saw John Cleese do one oh great and he was getting angry with them and they were bringing him down and it wasn't right for him and I just thought oh that's great yeah and I didn't think about that until I started doing extras and I realized I sort of ripped that off a little bit where you get a big star of the day and bring him down with people who are idiots and yeah them down and even I had pretensions and stuff they weren't the idiot they were they were sort of above it and I loved tell them up it's did that and they and and how people would go on now and do anything and I realize it's like a day off for a starter to go [ __ ] off yes and it's funny because even when they um they announced that I was going to star in the new Muppet movie they said human lead just so I knew my place taking the human lead couldn't even give me that couldn't even say lead no thing guys the Frog was annoyed and I now love Constantine he honestly a Constantine I wish he was real I when I was doing them I was excited to go to work - because Constantine's get I've never seen with Constantine right I'm so real well it is how real they are and it might be how childish I am yes but and how I think the world would be better if animals could talk and rule them you know I mean yeah I genuinely do I do like humans obviously I do I am one I just think I've the same ones I did were alive in the same ones yeah but I just think I just think animals are a bit better yeah yeah yeah I love I love them we are cat people also our Edith tuxedo cat overdressed for every occasion doesn't want a cravat yeah I will go on until someone slaps me about the superiority so and I I will just begin and end it with they bury their own poo well the only other animal other than humans yeah and by the way it's to start predators from finding them at all animal oh man they're the only animal that domesticated themselves exactly they went in and they thought this I can I can work these guys they have a bear meow - humans isn't in there very tied to each other they they know that that can get them things they know that can get them things they invented that because they know these these guys are suckers they let us sleep here we don't have to do anything you know I mean we think we're calling them getting them in forgot mice they're going more I love mice where are mice and I eat all right fine my sin kill yeah it's like you can't con a cat no honk Konica I die there's that funny things that they used to be worshipped as gods and I've never forgotten it oh that's great and the other you thinks yeah of course yeah um and dogs have owners cats have staff I love dogs as well though I cover other people's dogs we go for walks me and James before every day in Hampstead every day we're in New York go to Central Park and we know dogs we know them by the big ollie we know dogs by their name and I yeah it's crazy I just there's not nothing makes you feel better than a dog being happy or a dog a dog recognizing you oh my god right unbelievable what a privilege what a privilege to be in that dog's mind it the dog that dog was thinking about me it's freakish I know well.all recognizes me it does that I can't it's just amazing yes you okay no your dogs I planned these D recognize you guys Rick it's incredible there's nothing like it yeah it's the closest thing I get to spirituality a dog breeding a dog's love yeah it's pretty grand yeah amazing we did on your motion picture that you wrote and directed it took us about three minutes to be [ __ ] off like nine year olds I know I don't know what happened I don't know what happened either I think we are we're not growing up do you think that's not having kids or we're just not grown up we was one of it's one of the rationalizations I've always made for sure is my childhood is extended because yeah but then what's better than making people laugh and then having you laugh I don't know how you could fill your day better do you not I mean what if there's that it's not it's not a childish thing is it is it is it butchered George Bernard Shaw said people what is it they don't grow old because they stopped playing they they stopped playing because no they could grow old or something it was it they don't you don't [ __ ] me you know I love that you I've really nailed George Berlin Shaw you made a point of remembering yeah and then they don't they George Brothers your said spit out George I'm please let me have a go people don't hmm stop playing because they grow old they grow old because they stopped playing that might be a George keep trying I think it may be that happen maybe Winston Churchill you had loads of goes if I want to get in the book this thirds will fight them with toughen up on the beach isn't in that I'm another go we'll fight them on the beach yeah that's better Wilson yeah yeah no and not everyone will know what does I love me okay yeah yeah go with fight Oscar Wilde have you anything to declare nothing what what genius hmm over these butt plugs am I vivianne French is the Wi-Fi pet from Twitter is the Wi-Fi password of never say one two six seven again in your film life on the road significant there are no I think because when we did we used real venues that day Britt was playing in pubs and so we went in the backstage and it was it's probably the actual Wi-Fi for one of the venues in the right and the thing so yeah it was it was hyper real because it because it was real right yeah Jamie loves to collect Wi-Fi password yes everywhere she goes one of my hobbies is to everywhere I go I'm like wow that's that's one step further than trains fine yeah that's amazing yeah I know the one for here if anyone needs it but there's no clubs you don't you know you don't meet up we'd like loads of other guys with like I'm always like directed to like a hard life you see laughing well not you know whether that you know people make fun like nerds trainspotters and they meet up right and they trade trains and that's their thing I think it's the meeting up they're addicted to sure I think if we said look we've got enough training so you just go to the pub we're mates now yeah then you know I mean I think but I think that's quite sweet I share a common interest I'm on drugs yeah I like that sort of especially I think the nerd culture came from we weren't accepted in the real world so we're going to start our own and then they gravitate to each other what nerds a tunnel right I haven't I these computer nerds of the things days and well the meek shall inherit the earth yeah the geek shall inherit yeah yeah yeah exactly yeah yeah say that I went to a tattoo parlor that I hadn't been tuned in like for years I think and I still had their Wi-Fi password and I was very excited very please do it you knew it oh you had it ready was it no it's like once you put it in your phone it's safe in there I always see it until they change it so they hadn't changed it I was very excited that I still had it I was like oh that's great yeah but the fact that that physical you know I can see without yeah she followed up with a question that leads to a topic I wanted to discuss which is the George Michael improvise during his appearance on extras because I want to talk about a lot of the goings-on with extras yeah and so on so to that specific question no été he didn't they were sort of set lines he had to do but what he did do he was such a surprisingly good actor it made it look like it was I did I mean he was a better actor than some actors who do act and he didn't act it was like he was really having that conversation it is all you it should all you want from someone and that sounds like it was a just playing themselves I think don't people know how hard it is to play it's impossible because you don't know what you what you're giving off you don't know what yourself is what they want don't and then you sort of have to explain it to people what yourself is some people are very aware what they've been hired and what they're doing and you know yeah they start to lean into a Christopher Walken for example people become hyper aware of what here and then he becomes and sometimes you want that sometimes you want you know you know we bow II we wanted him to be sort of aloof and not quite there and and just do this thing and any and he got that right so when we got bow for extras and I said in the lyrics I was wanting him to do the music and I knew him I already knew him quite well by then but still it's still David Bowie you know I mean it's like it's still still my hero so I was sitting there and I phoned him up and I said did you get the did you get the lyrics he went yep yeah I said them can you give me something like um it's not retro like life on Mars anyway oh yeah I'm not have a quick [ __ ] life on Mars oh yeah Rick yeah what does something like this that all you need yeah yeah and really good pathetic little loser no-one's bloody laughing and it was like something off of hunky dory or so it's amazing just amazing Oh God and then he and I returned the favor he got me to do the first time I played Madison Square Garden for the Highline Festival he was a curate in it to build the High Line project right and he introduced me on the stage and he went out with a little harmonica went yeah shabby little loser no-one's bloody laughing and let the crowd insane insane insane I was yeah no I still wall so you say hero but it is important I don't know that enough people know that your first career was one could argue a Bowie knockoff but you had a hit no this is the maybe a smallish sod that Wow apparently it was it apparently is a big hit in the Philippines and still is it's one of those where one of those one-hit wonders in the plet which I don't know I've never been there I've never you know but and probably by today's standard it probably would have charted in the number of you know I mean but we missed the charts both times right I think he got 260 but still my fantasy is that you show up finally to the Philippines to do as part of your stand-up tour and they've all come to see you sing that song and you don't and they're confused just that one song that I don't sing the one song we had right you know also they look at this and they think what happened I go picture and beer [ __ ] off right um so we we know so this is it yeah I went to university very quickly right I did Sciences all the way through school I want to be a scientist went to university 1819 to study biology got there and I thought I don't I didn't come to college to be a biologist I came here to join a rock band right I've seen David Bowie I can do that right so I did I mean a guy we did a thing didn't ever got signed overnight crazy right first thing I they said this is this is no this is never gonna end right you're so easy place in Chelsea Jane we're rich for the rest of our lives that we've done at home we we've made it right that one failed next one failed done dropped all over all over in a year so but I learned I learned a lot of me I shouldn't have wanted to be a pop star I should have wanted to be a musician so when I approached this I realized I want to be a writer director not celebrity or whatever um but yeah that was that was and this only comes to light because I'm famous now for something out everyone's got this you know in their past they'd tried to be a rock star yeah when you're done here go to youtube and find them yeah yeah people it still pops up on sure Ricky Gervais so people go no way they don't know how insulting that is yes why I haven't changed I want to talk about any other of those type of icons who ended up guest starring on extras that you might have had fun with because there were a number well we started Ben Stiller Kate Winslet Sam Jackson which everyone thinks you're friends with yeah but things of other things that we hang out in a big house like the monkeys did I mean everything you're in LA I mean I like twice a year you know um I've got three friends here you're one of them just to tell you how well things are going yeah but yeah everyone you know you do it professionally you call him out and thought what it did allow me to do it was that where the office made the most impact in America initially was amongst these these people in the you know in the industry the first person I remember hearing about had seen the office was Matt Groening you know I mean so I thought wow not grain and seen my word it got passed around initially I think within within show business I think so people saying like turning each other on the way they did to the pilot episode of South Park yes thing well then you gotta realize that what I was hearing about this it was already over for me well I was it was like it was like a week I did the office Chris freshman 2003 and that was done and then and then I get the phone call from Ben Silverman saying we want to do a remake you know and he said where are you I said I'm in Starbucks and Wardour Street said I'm in town he got a cab over and that was it and then I did and then we were up for the Golden Globes and I wasn't going to go 2004 I think till today I wasn't the go cuz I put her I was thinking of putting a warm-up on sour and little theatre and I'd put on sale yet right and why'd you went what do you mean you you were gonna do a warm-up he said this is the Golden Globes I went yeah we're not gonna win that are we they went you might want to go and so we flew over to the Golden Globes and I just thought we were making up the numbers I thought was a trendy little British show against always were one both of them you know and I went up and did a stupid speech and and it was that week that I had a meeting but tumbling right when you don't expect it was crazy it didn't make sense right it didn't make sense right I'd gone over I bought I bought the shoes that day sure I was still jet-lagged we went with blue BBC flew me and Jane over I had to buy some shoes that first time on the red carpet they said who are you wearing I wouldn't mean Who am I wearing I mean Who am I wearing I said I looked it was Marks and Spencers right which is just a British chain store I said just sweating the hots for a Brit I didn't know what was going on the way in the limo right I was hungry right because we were going out at 2:00 p.m. right right it was 90 degrees right tuxedo jeiza dress all right and so we stopped at a garage in this limo they'd said stop this garage was it gasoline station yeah and I bought a big packet of those well those things we call them like Cheetos Co and big sort of they're shudos here as well yeah right and I at those right so you're Orange Jane said look at your face but Adam atif I'm so I'm in the limo in the ice bucket and you know trying to clean off to the clean off that right oh well my mouth by armor fingers and I know I was lucky so I was doing that and they're going what I've got nothing nothing and then that week I I met with Ben Silverman and the head of NBC now he was Ravalli who so all right we made it I did I popped up with an episode of alias because JJ and I and I watched I liked it I really like the show and and that's yeah so yeah incredible and then Adam an audience with the Simpsons people and they said you want to write an episode which that was my first week Jane this is never going to end if every week's like this there's a bit of The Simpsons when there's a guy talking to home he's bought these platform shoes and there's a chart he goes Homer it's 1976 this is the chart of money coming in from discos if this trend carries on yeah brilliant yeah so yeah but it was still madness we went to when people coming up to me like hugh janus had seen the show and i'm thinking that's ridiculous right it I mean proper of icons you know like Jack Nicholson and Clint Eastwood and it's just crazy people walking around madness yeah yeah that's what I meant about the 75 people deep line to kiss the ring the first time you came through to stand up it was the who's who of show business that would just wanted to say hello sort of thing so that goes from humbling to and this is something you talked about in the act which is how quickly the mindsets to where's the guy entitlement yeah yeah the first time that I started making in America I do this in the act that I'm not out of touch but I am spoil and it doesn't spoil there's such a chasm between yeah out of touch and sport of course yeah and so the next time we flew to America someone met us and walked us through and the further past the cue and out the other side the first time I happens I'm going oh my god everyone's looking at me oh my you spoke up looking up a watch going on pretend to be like next time we flew where's that bloke and walks us through I'm not [ __ ] cueing why wouldn't you you know and and it's an exaggeration I'm not really like that and I'm not I've never had my head turned by anything I do think it's a fast I'm not in or I look after the Golden Globes we can't wait to get home and get in bed and watched Big Brother or something and drink champagne when we say honestly I can't network I don't like those part is they I'm too hot and sweaty and old to be talking [ __ ] I don't want any I don't want anything from anyone because I do my own stuff but it don't small talk [ __ ] that you don't want to catch yourself do it yeah I've I can't I don't get it I don't I don't know how people can live their whole career like that worrying about the stats and where they are and who they're [ __ ] out you've made it oh I've made enough money after one year do you know I mean I just I don't it's that it's I don't want to yeah I'm - luckily in my career my laziness has been mistaken for integrity many times so I turn stuff down because I'm sitting down already is there something in the show on that because if not there needs to be I do that next time I do how lazy I am all the things I've turned down cuz I can't be bothered specifically mistaken for integrity mmm that's a beauty I know I just cut out as a wealth of honestly what they think you're doing you see that P nothing competes with sitting at home no in your pants drinking wine with it in my hands he means diapers yeah yeah and watching telly and nothing competes that if the phone rings at quarter past six I go what that I can't I can't your agent wants to talk to you I tell him I'm dead it's not dead just unavailable I honestly I can't be bothered yeah no kind of it and that's why I love stand up my my my rules my club I'm free next week tickets go on sale they set out the club I don't have to answer to anyone yeah outside breaking the law of the land I say what I want when it's amazing and this tour was basically me and Jane choosing places we want to go so I was playing I was playing 13,000 people in Copenhagen one getting there the day before having the day off my Copenhagen popping up doing a gig coming back it's just honestly it's a it's there's there is no better life it's better than anything yeah now I I'm I'm thrilled to hear you say that because you you've had the opportunity now to do whatever you want in all fields and everyone's always asking what's next what connects what's next and to hear that this is now your favorite thing to do that is what a comedian say is my favorite thing and I can't wait I finished this tour in Vancouver and a January early and then I'm committed I'm I've got a new show that I'm writing but I can't while I'm writing that show I want to be doing warm-ups for a new show when I've taped the the new show I want to do another stand-up so every two years but I can't wait to start again I'm even thinking of titles morality I thought for the next one that's good but I like this like there's this me the laziness and all I'm trying to do is getting more and more honest yes and go there even more yeah how far can I go and that's what I realize about this show versus the last there's there's as much animation there's as much silliness and fun but it's just way more honest which that becomes the you've edited out all the fluff and you've gotten right to the core they know what they know won't do it they'd not least I don't certainly come out and say something why is he saying that they'll primed them they know they know what the theme of the show is I don't know and I think you can go anywhere as long as you explain what you're doing you can do anything right but it also makes the audience feel that much closer to you and I feel close to them as well I do I genuinely I look I like them more now yeah do you not I mean yes I sort of you know and that sounds odd as well but I never know I never I never didn't like them I thought what is this about why are we doing this you've paid all this money I'm going to come out I'm not your friend and I'd set up this weird dialogue they were going they want more for me they didn't they didn't want more for me they just wanted them my best show possible and now I realize do you know I mean it's like a phobia like when a friend says Oh calls you up they don't what do you want and they will go just want to say how you doing Oh fine you know they don't want more for me they just want my best show and I really really appreciate you now I absolutely love it but it's not enough I don't I do want to stress that you're not just going on on stage and spewing honesty and what you think these are well-crafted home and stories and an animation absolutely and pieces that you've worked your ass off may be your only another prefer honestly the pressure now because the anecdote I always liked anecdotes because the pressure was off with a one-liner I never liked that pressure of having to deliver the one-liner perfectly every night yeah and I thought when anecdote was better but now I put that pressure on anecdotes because the analytics are so honed they're like long jokes now yes so that they're there if they're story oh there's a real choreography to it and and it's a that's the word it's a I really do yeah it's all conduct these stories now so but they don't see the join it is honest they are real they are the truth they really did happen and I'm very conscious of that as well that will open for you last night it was wonderful I don't know if you remember his name you Alex settlement that's correct what a story about doing his wheelchair bit was from Boise from here yeah yeah before the show that we love that connection but the true sign of a comedian who's doing jokes was something he did in his act that goes all the way back to Bob Hope who was just joking yeah which is which is not happening when you're telling stories and which is at the end of a at the punchline you drive behind it by going and or but I want to tell you it was what Bob Hope would say yeah at the end of the joke which fills that gap in case there's no laugh so in your mind in the Dennis Miller brilliant black and white stand-up special after almost every joke he'll say I yeah yeah there's that little gap so when you're telling stories there's none of them there's no national for the other difference is that with a story there's no end to it when you tell a joke and then what happened or nothing it was a joke well dito story then what happened well actually yeah there is more it never ends yeah story the more you go into it and the more and and and that's what's great about story because it's it's because it happened there's such a wealth two people have two different stories three people have three they go in every different direction so you can eat really account part of a true story and I sometimes drop jokes every time I do right the odd joke that didn't real and I drop it because I'm worried the audience think well they know that was a joke right so maybe they think this other things president yeah I did it I did a I wrote a joke and I only I think I write two jokes a year or doing the Golden Globes but I don't write jokes like that um right so I worked a joke um I said I'm sorry I feel a bit bad cuz some good friend of mine committed suicide yesterday just went up to the bathroom cabinet and swallowed everything choked on a tampon right and I just thought that's a sucker punch joke right and they might laugh but then I gotta go no but this really did happen they go no he didn't yeah it's gonna be a sucker punch right so I don't do those I don't do those gags I'd give them a while so you can have them I don't because it's not me it's not my thing and I love I love the discipline of writing jokes I love it right writing jokes for the Golden Globes because I can't use him again I love that discipline of this is about this event this about this presenter and what they did this week I love all that and then editing editing area yeah yeah down to its fiber yeah I recently reintroduced a joke my act is all stories and I recently reintroduced the joke that I did years and years ago that I just remembered and I realized almost instantly it's this it's the same false beat go on that well my uncle was a faith healer of course as a Jewish faith healer he did things a little different he would heal people by comparing his illnesses to theirs great he would say you've sprained your ankle how do I have a growth on my colon the size of your face how do you feel now mr. ankle do could you pretend that was real could you lie and make that real well I do I do find a way to present it as if the uncle because I've already done think about the aunt and I'm I am telling a story but it's just free well I think you're allowed to do it in metaphor if you were talking about your uncle that this is a sort of guy he is he did faith in I think you're allowed to do that he like grace and add on that that's the fix as long as there's a bigger story he's the kind of guy who would be exactly yeah I think you're allowed to do that and you know people people like that and they do it all the time you know right because it's you're allowed to talk in metaphor and simile and he's the sort of guy who right this is a typical you know this is what you said once yeah and I think that's allowed to use found objects even if you exaggerate them but there has to be a truth to it there has to be a reason for it I think they can smell it if it's not habit and even when I'm talking about my brother Bob and my family and growing up it's about why I talk about offense now yeah it's about why I refuse to not go after the man or but you know I mean it's about why I have a problem with authority it's about why I can laugh at this because I can laugh at my own mum's funeral I'm at that you know I mean it was my father most telling thing of the show about you personally how good it was by far good I mean not all telling about you but that's specifically when you talk and I would made a note of I don't remember you talking about your family really before and especially Bob when you said it I was like I didn't even know he had a brother but yeah and how he becomes the the focal point and the driving force of this experience for you and the rest of the family well it is true it is true and I realized that he's more influential than you think and they all were you know the parent the parents they're your parents but because of the this mezzanine level that I had with my mum and dad having me eleven years after the last one so my older brother Larry is 14 years older than me was thirty years old me and Bob's 11 years old me so I when I was 12 years old I said to my mom why my brother so much older than me and she said you're a mistake I just laughs Jamie's two sisters are what 15 years old 10 years and 15 years yes that's good no 5 in 10 years so there's the big go excuse me no they're 5 years apart 10 and 15 yes man I'm sorry first about the size about the same yeah so so like my sister I was like I'd best of both world because they they done all the groundwork for me when I came along you know my parents were exhausted right so my sister taught me to read I was reading at 3:00 because I was looking at the experiment for it for her to it you know and my older brothers always it already away by then he's gone to college and stuff when I was but bob was the next one to me and Bob was like coming of age he was 1819 going out seeing him get in trouble and I saw you know and I remember once um I was I was brought up I'm Christian I went to Sunday school from the age of 4 to 11 where it was and I I believed in it all but and I've often said to a working-class woman you know Jesus is an unpaid babysitter if I'm not watching you you know you've got to be good it's that it's the way and I remember I was doing some from Bible studies and I was I was about 8 um so I was about 19 and he came in and he looked and he went why did you believe in God and my mom went Bob and I just thought why does what why would he say that why would sighs ah it's not real no yeah there was such suspicion instantly when he says why would you yeah yeah and she was like because he's someone who had established himself in your mind as not just the wiser because he's older but the cool one well right he wasn't he didn't he didn't he wasn't worried about [ __ ] mm-hmm he wasn't rebel without kinda even after he didn't it didn't ask anything for anyone he was to rebel without cause you didn't have to in the moment your mom says Bob she's completely confounded and I know why because you know in those days it was it was um equated with morality Christian values were they were created with that's how you stay outta trouble which we know isn't isn't true so she was doing her best sure they don't hold on if he'd have said why did you believe in Santa I she might have let it go or she might have said you well you've ruined that haven't you well exactly yeah and that wasn't brilliant if she'd said that about God well you've ruined man how do you think I believed in Santa for a few months longer shirt and got so much more to offer really well it was evident there was physical evidence you had a chimney yeah there were presents yeah the cookie was happy exactly yeah the whiskey definitely gone you didn't have to be Columbo to put me oh god oh god Wow Oh brilliant let's get you back home to rest okay yeah we have we done I've done brilliant I feel pretty good yeah the drugs are wearing off yeah yeah no I'm I promise to keep at an hour and well that was fun just a conversation really it was it was great fun um go on we'll go on they were there was is it true that you were on a British talk-show or chat show and the host commented that you were looking newly fit and trim and asked how come and you replied aids yeah I think so I just wanna put with a spot do you in any way you've lost so much weight I think it was Alan Carr wasn't any when you lost so much weight why I just went right and the freedom of that as I say in the show me and Bob had one simple rule if you think of something fun you've got to say it win lose or draw it might go well it might not but dads that's it isn't it yeah all the way back again the target there is making someone feel awkward about why they asked yeah so people think oh it's a terrible joke about no more general aids yeah I'm making someone worry about whether yeah yeah yeah in the same way that you don't ask the heavyset woman when she's due exactly it's not worth the risk no even if you're sure even if you're 99% sure that woman's pregnant don't ask what you know could be wind famous questions Christopher guest's asked your love for animals is well known but I didn't realize until recently that you were a steeplechase jockey and Radin when you were a lad the question is was it well that's him isn't it well if you can get a jockey into anything I think his yeah I've never it's disproportionate amount that he has brought up the word jockey since I've known it I don't know what they are amusing yes they're perfect little men sit on horses and make the horse do all the work right right and it isn't odd it's an odd sport most that species on that species I see who wins well I know don't just get on there put on some silk dress up let's do a monkey on a pig why do we do that what do monkey on a pig well we do jockey on a horse it's odd it's an odd sport it is isn't it and they don't all talk like this but some of them or as Christopher Walken might say our dear friend and co-star kelly macdonald had a farm' I had a famous question for you these are questions from famous people what does you what what do you like best she wrote what does he like that what do you like best tomatoes or tomatoes or other people in restaurants really the question is what do you like least tomatoes or other people in restaurants aye-aye-aye honestly it's a tough one people in restaurants I I don't I don't like I don't like fruit and veg for salad but I'm getting better now but they would win over people in restaurants because I'm famous I can't stand noisy eaters I don't I don't get it I'm I am anti-social me and Jen go to a restaurant and or we look around she sees me look at she goes what I don't know when I've ever eaten soup she goes to want to move oh yeah yeah my problem is just seeing anyone chew well once real once some will go in the car buy in New York bro there's a lovely little cafe and I went oh that looks nice she went yeah we went there once and I went damage but yeah we had to leave because a man was eating bread near you we had to leave because sometimes it gets a little ways in look at them and Django's they don't know why you're looking at them I go what they should know why I'm looking at them but no one ever told you why are you eating like that sound II just made honestly yeah everything ruins my day I used to I started taking our earplugs and Jay would go that's sociable just in case just in case yeah when you are forced to fly commercial how quickly do the headphones go on I could never be without my iPod and earphones so I've got a surround sound things now that I put earplugs in and those on so it's just impossible that anyone can annoy me and a site will annoy me as well because I can be in a thing right and I could just see someone's feet and they've they've got their socks I don't know shut the eyes right because one thing you can't close is sound smell smell can't block your nose kind of yeah it's not a big problem on first class um but yes so I assume this comes from unless you're flying back from Hawaii and they're all I'm right back from Hawaii on Wednesday Thursday night was like a step above a Greyhound bus it was ridiculous yeah yeah I don't know eggs of people on that plane and mostly and in first class I catch the mouse so we flew for life I've always been like this though it's not because I think I'm above it now and I can I've never understood I've never understood someone you know I used to eat my dinner on the stairs right because even my family I couldn't stand scraping us up there is obviously something wrong with me but I it's like it doesn't matter I'm pretty I'm okay now yeah better but I don't get it I don't and it's it's when I think it's willful I've never just someone just sniffer oh there was someone typing on the plane once right she was typing away right there's no need to type that loud for start and she had a bracelet bangle and that was wrong a good [ __ ] bracelet off oh yeah yeah the the horns the Viking horns in the bathtub yeah that actually happened or that was vote now that's uh that's all where when I when um why was Scandinavia so I like to do a bath pick now and again in the bath I always flattering trying to look as ugly as I can um triple chin and exactly and then I developed doing a I suppose a topical one what I have a town or country I was he and I do something so Iceland I do a Viking helmet Scotland I had a ginger wig not insulting at all um Canada I had a moose on my head and it sort of became a little thing and then I'd sign it and hide it in the in the town to find it on Twitter and yeah why always crushed ice though cuz that's the funniest thing well because nothing I don't know symmetry is beauty isn't it so if you can make everything go a bit wonky perfect yeah and it's what they're thinking as well it's that what they thinking - there was a moment someone was hit with a cricket bat that surprised that and when it also is animation clearly of course yeah yeah black the teeth out anything just just I think it's confusion as well yes just something because I've always thought that confusion has always been funny to me so if you see if you see a a weird the hobo doing a funny little dance right he's happy right you think that's a bit weird but you look across the street and there's a businessman going businessman what's he thinking why is he so confused we can both see we know what it is why are you so confused you know it's a [ __ ] dancing what's the confusion yes you have no right to be confused embrace it yeah yeah oh god yes yeah one of the funniest things I ever heard a civilian say was very similar it was his observation of that weird comical and it wasn't making fun of the person because they were homeless they were acting the fool purposely in this crosswalk of course they were going for a laugh course but my friend says look another one that let go of the balloon yes exactly yeah and it was that but the people forget that and even Lauren Hardy when standard sum was stupid and it goes to Olli just looking at him it goes through three times you never remember that but that's why you're laughing because you're empathizing with Olli okay and their apologies think the first bit of joke or humor or why one caveman laughed another was he saw a caveman stub his toe because he knew that caveman didn't mean to do that Wow and that's what it is yes that's what we laughing that's what we laugh at someone falls over it's not us it's not us that's right didn't want to fall over and that's funny why right but it is yeah it is unless they land on a spike then it's not not so funny until later what's up blood and teeth missing you need time then rats come and eat their eyes quickly then you go oh no it's work hurry yeah the rats are in a hurry okay last thing Kevin's pop quiz between 5 and 15 points possible for each of these three questions once the final score is tabulated will be posted on a website along with the current standing among the between pop quiz as in pop music nope just a pop isn't quick quiz oh my god I take these things so seriously limey oh right question number one well Sammy Davis jr. or an B Davis I don't know am B Davis's but she was the maid on the Brady Bunch say that I can't answer that do another one perfect Carl Weathers or the weather in Carlsbad is cow was his name Carl Weathers is he the one in hame because it that's right yeah and the last question in the last question Keith why is this to read our what is base perfect good yeah brilliant I've been a full Levin I that was the point oh thank you so much honestly and truly that was fun yeah just a conversation favorite better I'm hot I'm sweating I'm gonna go and COFF my lungs up outside but somehow suppress it but now yeah we'll we'll take some photos and once we've done but I'm good and then we'll send you yet see how they look this is why you do beforehand what was up with you I was ill okay thank you I feel just horrible keeping you another second so that is it with our time with the illustrious Richard Gervaise I want to thank court for sitting into Sam Levine Jamie as always Jayden Fox on makeup we got the floor director Kenny Chen and Brad register up with Jay Mac and the crosnes thank you all Corey - post-production as well and Luke gallon everyone's favorite I think that's it that's all I got perfect until next time man is all right get out of my face [Music] [Applause] [Music]

Channel: kevinpollakschatshow

Views: 86,340

Rating: 4.7587299 out of 5

Keywords: kevin pollak, ricky gervais, extras, the office, chat, talk, podcast

Id: WhQ7wV3vMQY

Length: 88min 43sec (5323 seconds)

Published: Tue Nov 07 2017