Ricky Gervais - Fat Shaming, Standup, The Office and more. -- Jim Norton & Sam Roberts

and right i ricky welcome Ricky Gervais how are you how are you yeah good we're on you I I'm good in the big chair yes she's all grown up and yeah yeah she's Netflix special yeah things a lot of things have changed is what's the special air and I'm like [ __ ] in that season I get the buttons yeah so how are you man good those been eating fry up in there it's so funny I just said I ate eggs for breakfast I just said I hope he smelled him when he walks in it's nothing apart it's bed yeah that's just why would you like that why would you it's not good for guess is it's not good for guess it rebels in being disgusting right and it's like you don't know and then he's like why are no further in show business and it's like everybody thinks you're disgusting that when I was thinking that much but you play the trailer for his Netflix special so this is the thing he chose to draw in the people I maybe don't know him because when you do you do a trade you dirty bit of people to know you that right you didn't say I need some more fun just cut this out I'm Jim release it was um when I got a [ __ ] I don't want the girl to go I want a lovely penis I wish it was black that was his little triangle to draw in the general public post you know one Wow I mean unbelievable resulting in I love it it's almost like I had to let them know this is as good as it's gonna get folks and you were so great the opening by the way I don't think we talked about that last time you were here because it was yeah yeah yeah so I appreciated that a lot you were awesome you're not as good and he wouldn't realize you improv what I wrote I actually didn't show a lot of what I wrote I showed what you improv all that the thing about the little peeled turtle with AIDS the king of gum guzzling they just said that we're going for mainstream America yeah but it was so funny good we show you the one I wrote so I was happy to I was happy to have that in because um I was not a Jew of them glade in America which way they are air freshener yeah you do get [ __ ] stinks in here do we have any fried for Ricky I will I will request an airship right look at it every morning I get used to it I mean Oh Jane do you smell it you just said yeah every smells and she lives with me so what ends up happening really is just eggs - normally I farmers in honest is using the radiator it's probably unhealthy but what happens you just sit in it and you stop noticing yeah okay well that's it I've used to it now what we're talking about today what's going on I saw you on on holder and then Cathy or whoever it is and you were talking about you wanted to be fat shamed which was that recent you were saying that that's something that yeah a couple weeks ago yeah why because I weighed myself and I'm certainly got heavy again see this is it right so I was thin to about 28 I was poor and thin and then I got a job and those are my eating years and I reached a peak about 48 and I was lying on the floor right in a sweat I am saying to Jane I think I having a heart attack right and I thought it might be a stroke because I'd eaten 11 sausages right really yeah that I'd you better give it here yeah and then said you got to look after yourself and I thought yeah so I started working out and I did it was just working out you know I didn't really stop anything I don't eat meat anymore but I I didn't stop anything I still took him like to another thousand calories and I drink every night is it after you a successful that you had this on the stroke yeah oh yeah yeah so and I lost weight I lost about 25 pounds and that was it right but now I still eat and drink too much but I physically can't work out enough yeah because I'm getting old and my daughter so I'm steadily getting bladder and I suppose I put 10 of the pounds back on and so I said the people right it's just if we slow fat showing me and they were sending in tweaks to me it's hard it's hard to keep it off because I've also lost weight so I know you was a fact that will thing won't you I was a pig oh yeah okay yeah no like a little you I tell you like you like you know look I've always thought of you more of an amphibian or a human you know that right yes and you used to be like a Fat Frog Johnny disgusting fat frog and at first I thought oh my god this this guy I'm going to read about this guy in the next five years and he's in jail for something horrendous never been done before do you know I mean like I know this is humanly possible yeah I know the 14 a real killers are asking to move wings in that and in the something like reprieve in them out yeah right yeah and then he how did you get fit same way you did I just got sick of it and I started eating better in the gym and I wish I had a better reason that was it I just started working out and just being aware of it but the hardest part is when you put five pounds back on which everyone does we all can do it it's stopping the bleeding and going okay just stop it always does always that addict thinking like I'll [ __ ] it I've already blown it let me get the harness watched online is still sort of stubbornness because I did it all without giving anything up and that's getting harder now yeah so as I say I physically can't work out like Rocky anymore because I ache I ain't you know also your tab ilysm goes down when you get older it's still no excuse so it's still as simple it's still simple science if you take in more calories than you burn off you problem why it's as simple as that right what are you eating if you know you mean anymore what are you eating that's putting on weight like what do you become you know I study you know bread and pasta and cheese and all those things I'm pretty healthy you know I try and eat protein I do all that but then I have a bottle of wine every night yeah it's just like that sugar right 36 um spoonfuls of sugar in the bottle of wine apparently so it's the craziest waste of colors right but it's wine its alcohol is worth it makes you feel good no yes yeah I don't go after the second bottle either okay I'm fine that's the real fuel but you don't look fat though with all the fat think you look great luckily I didn't throw away all my big black Peter the trick is to start drinking wine during the day and then that way during the day and I'll notice that your fatty I think burn off more don't you because you're staggering around drunk I yeah burn calories but that's I just figured you'd be too drunk to realize that you're bad during the day is it but yeah is the the hobo clam basically you drink but you walk the streets so that that burns and is the hard part wander aimlessly and they are in calories and shouting and swearing and kicking boxes that is 200 calories unclutch the core when you yell yeah when you put on a shirt that used to fit like you start to notice it's a slow thing to like you put on like gives I size ones in size zeros and I threw out a lot of my ones I'm like no you're not going to give these to grow back into you're going to feel if you start fattening up inside yeah and zeros of what I thought only dresses come inside zero in size one and well we all have our lifestyle changes as you know they do these teachers say where it's very fancy redwood but the one and zero and I was the zeros and they fit me but then after like a few weeks of being shitty like after I shot my special in December but that you know you shoot you reward yourself a little and then you start putting it on you feel it grips the side yeah yeah it's real light and it's real light and the next time it just grips the under the kitty a little bit starts and before you know it you have to go to size one well if you're referring I was having titties yes I am you know something's wrong immediately okay can I tell you one time I had a girl say that to me she called my chest tits she was being degrading and then she licked my nipple and it drove me crazy and she like oh you like your titties licked and I went crazy it was socially I think it was more so humiliating yeah and call me this conversations gone downhill pretty quickly I really is I so nor to safety was there a nice thing about how ready when once this girl was degrading me well that's right at YouTube that's right the Netflix trailer work that is see that is where I'm I didn't imagine Charlie Rose just going oh that reminds me of a very funny thing happened to me yesterday Charlie Rose is going it's like when you get picked on right yeah what are you doing I'm betting he does something he lays down with his mouth on it goes all make the rostral that is lie better than we have no information I was just a guest you have to get your gnarly right I really rose theories I tell you one thing if Charlie Rose did sue me the funny part it would be worth getting sue for just to have the deposition if you have any gold please I can't wait turning out any siblings is mr. new and why you must obey it mr. Lauer have you ever been urinated no I've never been urinated I we all we have to call in people he slices every well worth it has he ever said to you make the road gross yeah that would be well worth it I think so but when uh when I was sort of losing weight I think I lost the weight and I lost 25 pounds in about like six months just really going for it and it was between the first two Golden Globes I did and I remember the since I sort of had I'd take into the sort of dry cleaners repair shop and take an inch in I took them in again took another inch and it was great and then when I got back again I'm too embarrassed to take a back row take the in sound again they just be my wardrobe basically it's a varying sizes of these suit because that's time to buy new suits but you're not going to have them taken out of the question thing about clothes yeah you have to buy new ones how good does it feel when you can go shopping and then like all the sudden things that like a shopping is always a nightmare because by anyway though it's Jungian I mean I was I was I was happy that I was sort of fit and you know things fit me and I wasn't sweating so much but I've never I've never really cared about that I've never I gave that up at 28 about fashion or looking good or I just want comfort I'd be happy you know you know I'm in jeans now which is a bit of a pain to me I'd rather be here my vagina's in fact I'd rather be in a bucket for as my that's it in your brain please red red wine by an Irish Ampata bucket right another want to seems being like yeah no I really Caligula said wine by some extent yeah unbelievable so yeah that's um and that's also it's it's so relevant you don't going to see me on one of those documentaries anytime soon being airlifted to hospital lane there's a big there's a there's a big gap yeah oh is a huge gap yeah I'm a what you get a ticket to the compliments to you get addicted to people going hey you look good and like all the sudden that became a motivator people who don't see you for a while I told you when Ozzy came in and I didn't I didn't think he knew who I was I'd interview him 50 times but he would never and then he remembered me and realized I'd lost weight that motivated me for three years the fact that he recognized that I do it they doing someone on Twitter says oh she's a bat fire oh yeah what yeah well yeah you bet hundred now that you know how many AIDS accusations I've gotten on Twitter oh so we said that to me I look ill yeah ill I can't win no what do you want order or like Yuri or the minute like you show a photo of yourself skinny didn't you used to be funny yeah on you if I get the next page that died of a heart attack yeah so you're not that's ridiculous that's of this amiss as well and they don't really they don't really we hate ourselves as much now as before just for different reasons we myself into okay I didn't particularly care I was know wasn't going on my god I enjoyed I enjoyed food more than being healthy as simple as that it was a life choice I was never I didn't have any excuses but oh I don't remember being that worried about it what is the hardest thing for you do not eat what's the hardest thing feel like what's it like what's the food that you're like [ __ ] I can't not eat this I mean because I'm in here the first thing I thought of saying was caught me I know I understand the arms and I thought to meditate anywhere I would not that would never pop into my head you just say oh it'd be funny to say [ __ ] this GMR consider one Johnny Rose so Ricky what's the what's the one thing you can resist Enoch Scott okay come back and we cut that know we all know Charlie he oh I hear you Charlie Rose I would love to see his face it was like Vicki not cooking are people like now might have to work again very well Oh - mainly [ __ ] but she would probably laugh at that though they see my favorite white undershirt on NBC are you got that I draw and s you talking about a mile chicken right then you could say it yeah yeah well that's what I was talking about how to male 2 I don't like the female chicken they don't taste as good thank you um those are so hard the hardest food somebody [ __ ] well the hardest food to give up it's obviously it would be any alcohol that's not strictly a food I'd like I like them I like savory things I like what everyone likes because we're mammals I like I like fatty salty foods I like you know I mean cheeses and and pastures and things like that I don't think that that's me the hardest thing and I'm not cut down on it is your green room have a lot of stuff in it like I'm on the road I had that pretzels take it out of my rider literally K my road manager would hide the pretzels yeah they sent me I'm finding when that's the other thing as well when you graze when there's things out when there's like bag of bowls of crisp route you eat you eat with it 9 bags a crisp you wouldn't open 9 bags right and eat them at home so I do a little trick so I've got protein crisps now which is they take just like crisps but they they're they're like a way but um so it's not it's not the taste it's not as bad yeah so it's like 100 calories instead of 200 so you do little tricks like that and then I suppose I try and have a a proper meal I so have like protein and vegetable but I've still got the palate of a fiber deep down will same you know I I D if someone said we've just found a white pizza isn't that me and I deep eats all day it's literally all over these ok good is there anything better than tasty delight I love to myself a little treat tasty delighted [ __ ] rules choices life it's like you're frozen yogurts roll yeah all the things better than frozen no there's not there are there's many things but I don't even fault I can't have ice creams too much right yeah putting rules yeah I know yes I was going to work what the euphemism is okay my writing wrong where we going nowhere in prison what would that mean to one's pudding reinventing our Charlie Rose pub said rather cold did someone say pudding when Charlie Rose and Jim get together you got to be careful what you say yes - how was your tour going by the way promoting the humanity world tour and Ricky Gervais Compton is most of it is sold out across the yeah well we're putting two new dates on and there'll be the last two dates another one in New York in October which goes on sale this this Friday at 10:00 a.m. and and also another one the dog the third one at the Dolby Theatre in Los Angelenos on sale at 10:00 a.m. in LA this Friday so the last there the last two to go on and yeah pretty much everything else is sold out straight away I've heard it's an amazing tour amazing reviews I want to say ray is really going well it's gone the best of any tour I've ever done I think and I've enjoyed it more I really I really enjoy being a stand-up now I think I'm a stand-up for the first time really yeah I think I know that sounds odd but I've seven years off so the anticipation was good I worked on it for a long time and thought about a long time so it is I think objectively better but I think I think more it's about the attitude and the way I approached it my first thought I felt that I wrote them I wrote like an Edinburgh show you know I wrote a theme show and I went out and and practiced it almost like an actor playing a stand-up yeah I feel like they were more like one-man shows they all at one of my shows and this I've stripped it down it's me I walk out in a pair of jeans and a black t-shirt and I just talked them and I did more warm-ups than I ever did before and I did it by walking out and just talking to them I didn't have a I had the title and I had some things to talk to him in it and I made sure that there were no expectations you know that anything you know and I just talk and honestly it it just feels better and I do I do I think I can call myself a stand-up for the for the first time well I think the thing with you I saw you years ago do stand-up and what was impressive about it is you were very comfortable and natural on stage you like a lot of guys who just start standing up are only a few years in have a certain performance way and you were much more natural than I was even way farther along in so you had that going for you as a comic you were very comfortable just talking to an audience I've always felt that oh I've always felt that I could talk to her I mean even if it was like a crowd of mates in the pub or yeah I mean yeah I've always done it I don't think it was natural I think that I've been practicing my art for 40 years without realising it was a job generally yeah and also when I approached stand-up my my my mission statement was to try and be as funny as you are in the do you know I mean yeah right so I didn't want it to be - yeah Trixie or I play the slide persona because I always do that anyway I do that we do that here you know so yes you know it was saying the wrong thing for comic effect way naughty or trying to get people to laugh at things they didn't know they could always doubt in taboo for that reason because I think it's more exciting sure you want to take the audience to a place that hasn't been before no I mean yeah and get them the lab things they didn't think they would enjoy exactly and this show is all about that it's all about you know there are no bad subjects for jokes it depends what the joke is you know we've talked about this yeah you know and and I talked about the most of you subjects and I discussed them and then given examples of joke then by the end they're cracking up and then knowing they get it they sort of get oh yeah if I if you start off with a joke in that subject it's gone why has he done that because they don't know where you're coming from and that's the other thing about this tour and people know me now so they know what I'm doing did you know yeah that's really like a mate knows you don't mean it these five thousand strangers every night no I don't mean it right do you know they yes they say that they so they know what they're in for they know it's not like four and they love it and it's almost like going always always done this but I don't think we quite got it before right and we can't get you are the few a-list celebrities I'm going to say a list celebrities who doesn't back off when you're criticized for a job which I love yeah you never back off when you're joking about something and people are like I don't like that you basically come all right well then don't follow me you don't have to like it or if they're insulting your insult like you handled it really well well I think that's because I can justify it I'm not one of these I'm not gonna comedians it goes oh it was just a joke because ah you know I don't really do that I think that I think it has to stand up on its own you know comedic legs and I talked about this that you know offense is often caused when people mistake the subject to joke with the target they don't look at the joke they just they just they've been told this ridiculous dogma that some subjects shouldn't be joked about which is which is a nonsense and and I get asked is there anything you won't joke about and I think well you're a journalist is there anything you won't write about right right it depends what you write and it's funny because whenever I've done a joke about a really contentious subject or you know and it's discussed on the radio the next day I'm going but you're talking about it yeah you're talking about it but because they assume I'm coming it from the wrong direction because I'm mature as you went punching down and I assume I'm making fun of whatever the victim is in this joke right isn't true because a joke about some it doesn't have to be pro or anti it can be either it can be neither it can punch nowhere it can be a pun right you know it right it doesn't it so every you have to take every single joke on its merit and I got I recently got and again you can't I've talked about this on the show before but I was recently on Twitter I did a Caitlyn Jenner joke which wasn't even nasty and I was accused by a bunch of people being transphobic right this is least 15 minutes in my new this is a 15 minutes in my new stand-up about and not even about that and all I talk about in my spare I gotta choose to being transphobic it was like wow you really have no idea who you're talking about doing what exactly oh yeah they picked on the wrong person there but I did Joe at the Golden Globes and those owners transphobic and I said why and it was about a trans person I said well that's like saying a joke about Bill Cosby is racist right rap ends what the joke is it wasn't transphobic at all it you know the joke I told at the Golden Globes I came out and I said them all the actors are looking at me all nervously brilliant and I said some relax I'm going to be nice tonight I've changed not as much as Bruce Jenner sorry and I go now Caitlyn Jenner and what year she's had became a role model for trans people everywhere bravely breaking down barriers and destroying stereotypes she didn't do a lot for women drivers for something that is clearly serious I yeah by the way like the most the thing that people should even if they're going to take umbrage with something it should be like wait a minute wasn't that a thing somebody died in that car accident yes but nobody except I though I discuss I say that let's not forget the target of the joke is it Harry killing someone in their car they also said you dead named Travis reminder you dead named back in October on involves dead Naima which is ever saying that her old name and it's used to be a man and I say but she was I and I do it they about she was in big games and I act out you know and so and but I say you know and I know and and I was letting you know my second crime was saying that he'd change because they say the you know that she hasn't changed that she's always identified as woman and so that you know she had transit gender realignment and I discuss it in the I discuss all the criticisms of me and then I say my piece because I think it can be funny to deconstruct particularly when you're the butt of the joke or you're you know and so I do I always try and keep it fair I don't ever do a sleight-of-hand where I say somewhat that's a lie or to make myself look better in a joke right you know I think that's really important I think that and then you once you've done your best and you've explained it well people are still going to make their own mind that they don't have to like it they don't have to get it but someone not getting your joke isn't your problem it's their right they always say oh sorry say okay they only say like well you should tell a joke that people your joke you'd better and say why you're never any responsibility on the [ __ ] the idiot with ears that took it wrong brilliant but it was idea that's brilliant why isn't your was once we need to get the [ __ ] joke yeah it's a great and the other thing I get is when whenever a like in the in the press a joke of mine is discussed as being offensive I don't mind that at all but when they get the [ __ ] joke wrong that drives me mad I go well no that's not the joke I said isn't a good joke I joke it should be perfect it's like a cryptic crosswords of every word matters it's a little piece of poetry right so if you get one of those things wrong you can [ __ ] the whole joke so say you have a news anchor paraphrasing of what he was pretty much saying was me like no yeah no well I do I did it I did a joke I'm years ago I say I'm um I hate I hate drink-driving I think it's terrible I was grew it when it wasn't a cigarette now it's terrible and by the way I don't even drive so in this jokes everyone knows [ __ ] I say I'm I did it once I took the car out and I was drunk one Christmas but I learned my lesson because I nearly killed an old lady and I go in the end I didn't kill her in the end I just write the joke there it's clearly the magic act with I need I swerved in nearly killed her so what I actually meant well I attacked her so much that she nearly died from her end and it turned out worse right so they're discussing that Joe was terrible right so in the papers okay they tell the joke of this I went out and I nearly killed no lady in the end I didn't kill her I just raped her so don't tell anything about the drink-driving behold others go it's same as think what he's a mania that week this one right now really killed old lady be just right there without Mary Jo that's not even a [ __ ] joke I know exactly confessing a crime so yeah arrested that's that really made me laugh that was really [ __ ] funny though it's been say everything matters I mean live I even do the you know the the mime of the steering wheel and I do know lady and so that's plant it's firmly in their head and then you know that the surprise at the end you know it's the ultimate mystery I hate to break it down like that but that's really what sometimes it's a misdirection I didn't even do this and then what you've done is more barbaric or worse and that's what the joke is about a rape it's about doing something even worse when you're trying to admonish yourself I didn't do anything wrong I mean you don't of course well if that that's exactly and also um uh we've discussed this before when people say oh you think you think ranks funny they mean jokes about right but they're they've done that little sleight of hand on purpose to make you back yourself into a corner like you do think makes funny the answer's no of course that no one finds [ __ ] raped by me and I do this live as well not even rapists find rape funny there's no there's never a case of someone giving evidence going it was dark he was wearing a ski mask and he was giggling know what but but they try and the answer is again it depends on the joke right you know I really break it down it's it's it's so much fun it's such a great platform to be able to put your side forward and discuss humor in a in a funny way and so they're you're taking them along with you all the way you're explaining their hearing every word right from your side and then that you know and it takes a long time to explain what humor is to someone if they are freedom of speech you're it's it's we talked about on the show it's crazy that we've gotten to a point where you have to show how the trick is done again I mean you have to pull the curtain back there can be anymore fourth wall like you have to take them behind the CSA this is what I did this is my intention this is why I put this here like you shouldn't have but no you shouldn't have to but this is what the reason is the more and the more terrible and emotive the subject the harder it is to get over the hump about a joke about it right yeah we can joke about you know people joke about murder and people get it like a murder you know which is a horrendous murder but they but they they can't take that personally because they haven't personally been murdered do not I mean where is right if you do something that touches someone or group of people and it's you know it's very very emotive it's hard fun to get over that the number of times people have seen my stand-up and I've had one complaint um I did the first time I played Madison Square Garden I got a complaint from a Jewish society saying we love the show we loved all that so we weren't we were however unhappy about a routine about Anne Frank and they tell me start as a week but you've got the jokes about famine and cancer sure right and you've got those in acid I'm doing the same thing with her as I did with those things I'm saying the wrong thing and they went oh yes yes okay we understand it I sometimes but sometimes it do do need that and I don't I don't begrudge people for now but because because they're not attuned we think about these things every day a 30-second joke we probably put three hours work into it do you not I mean yeah about it or introspected or so and we are presenting them with a finished item but that's the tip of the iceberg and so sometimes they do have to get over there it's hard to by definition to see your own blind spot because everyone's got their thing they don't want to joke about people think that because they things are you ever offended by things I know I'm offended every day I'm offended by loads of things you know it's not I'm not immune to being offended you just don't want a penalty imposed well if you're exactly yeah yeah I'm avoid the things you're offended yeah that's the other thing about so people think that they have the right because they don't want to hear something bad but it's their right to shut you up as opposed to it's their right not to listen and that's the confusion as well I think going back to the your point that you originally made about Ricky being one of the only people on his level to stand up for himself right to not apologize for every night Chad and I stick by what you say do you think that's partly or that I'd say fully because you're aware of your ability to create meaning you're not really beholden to anything like Asian or no you create your own material no it's not that I think I'm bulletproof or I don't care what I can't do anything about it although that all those things are true if I'm not if I'm not breaking the law and they're not coming to my house who cares it's virtual right no it's not that it's that I'm confident in that I've done right I don't think I've done a really bad thing and I can get away with it [ __ ] you I think no I've done a right thing here I can stand I justify every one of my jokes as an okay thing to do do not I mean yes I'm not I'm not saying because that doesn't make sense I can't say yeah I do bad things but so what I wouldn't do them if I thought they were bad things so uh I I'm disagreeing with them that what I've done is a bad thing just do something yeah totally I try and get across to view other jokes about a bad thing isn't the same as the actual bad thing it's not even condoning the bad thing it could be aunty the bad thing otherwise it wouldn't have satire and irony so you do see so many people though and I think that's what you're talking about Jim who like well even though you can tell they don't believe it go you know at first this wasn't my intention but I saw it from your perspective and the apologies come out they're just trying to get the bad story away get the bad story away yeah well so I think sometimes it depends some people are just trolls some people just want to ruin your day they get in the way they jump in the way of a bullet and say why are you shooting at me yeah and I think I love to be martyrs oh then yeah everything's personal I don't even know they're following me I don't know these people I'm just tweeting and they take it they take it personally oh why you twit I'm not tweeting you you've you've come to my house knocked on my door and said like why you open to me well I'm not as you know again people and it's hard because people think the world revolves around them do you know there's been people have said things on Twitter that annoyed me a lot yeah of course and and they're people who have made statements publicly myself from responding because I realize and I really practice I'm like they're not talking to you you're not following there you go what the [ __ ] businesses in the mind what they say on to it I've actually quite I get the instinct or I tell someone to go [ __ ] themselves because what they say but I've backed off on doing them again I can I hope you get that when they they've added me and they've misunderstood some right said yeah and it's aggressive and you know yeah and they make assumptions they make assumptions about you that are wrong and then they go through hypocrite Oh will know the assumptions wrong so are you going to take back the hypocrite bit now right you use you know but again the best thing is to ignore it because you're right it's one it's one idiot in this basement and it goes away it does go away amazing that it got it go you ignore it was consumed consumes you can do you and then it just disappear it's virtual yeah it's spiritual it's like a bad dream okay if I'm not come into your house and you haven't broken the law it's yeah forget it were you surprised when you when you posted that photo because you'll post photos of the big game hunters and stuff the war hunt and then say sarcastic things about them but like recently oh you put that photo of the giraffe and a bunch of people thought you were posting a photo of yourself yet killing a giraffe and bragging about is this idea in a [ __ ] pith helmet right with a rifle standing on a giraffe neck right grinning right and I said yay I just shot a slow-moving 14-foot herbivore with a high-velocity rifle alright and then most people got it where we go why'd you do that it was like a wide shot yes we are serious like or I should actually phrase it that way if it was you like who would say like I just shot a slow-moving herbivore you'd never say that if it was no no so using and I jump to the people that object and they don't follow me stay there only about me so it's obviously been arty Don - they're there - I - I just ignore it I'd rather you do you do in and then it shacks you to realize that maybe there are some people on Twitter they don't know what the word herbivore means well that's the other thing as well stupidity I can't get over I can't get over all stupid some people are willfully I mean ignorance that people are happy with their their anger yeah and I think it's based on a falsehood that's the thing about stupid people they're very confident because they don't know they're stupid they have no idea yeah right yeah what's that what's that effect of something Kruger effect that more stupid the more arrogant you are because you've built up a sort of delusionary wall around yourself to protect your thoughts and ideas and it said this fan is fascinating that stupid people are very arrogant yeah they don't know any better because they missed a bit of the brain that tells them they're wrong right so it's itself absolutely don't tell me I'm wrong I'm Lisp you must be right and everyone's wrong because I know I'm right right I know I'm I'm so smart and I so stupid I don't know that I'm [ __ ] stupid right you know it's a lovely it you know they are the most hated people too they have a blinding narcissism and and they're stupid and there's they're so hateable but the joy in it is and here's the little asterisk that makes me smile is they're miserable because they don't know why everybody hates them yeah that's kind of fun like they're not going to stop doing what they're doing so they're going to continue self-destructing indiegala well I think that if someone says I see some hateful or stupid on Twitter all I do is I look down their timeline about what they're tweeting about and and what where what's in their bio and I think about retweeting it and at some I do but then I start feeling sorry for them immediately yeah I know my god this guy's got no life at all why with all he does I was over in his day more by retweeting him and it sort of vissa I get very Buddhist yeah because you know they aren't they they are losers yes they are but what's better than a video boxer confronts troll I love I went down the YouTube world Instant Karma and bully get owned I know I watch those so if someone will open there's one there's one that's at a party and there's like they're like a bunch of posh kids like 20 year olds or summer and in his ones that guy is going [ __ ] you dude [ __ ] you [ __ ] come on come at me me and he's doing this is what you don't come at me goodbye and the bloat just just poked him in the throat when you go sorry nothing better than seeing a little kid with a giant backpack on getting shoved and shoved and shoved and then he just I know [ __ ] them and not flat I always loved the guy that when the body picks on like a nerd it was like a black yeah we drops a knapsack you know jujitsu yeah yeah it's good I'm drunk get knocked out so easily easy unconscious on their feet it's great yeah yeah scary to watch though because you realize how many people out there like could knock you out like when a drunk is going like come on come on and you're like that guy would frighten me if I was out and if he gets knocked out easily I'm like I don't even know how I bluffed my way out of something because I would try to be unlike you know loud and in and a bluff my way out of it but I wanted getting knocked out so this is I just don't talk [ __ ] what does the answer is knit dog [ __ ] you know there's the but IVs people that again they don't think like that and and alcohol obviously if you're drunk is dis nothing to do about it you get hecklers at any point I mean I I'll deal with them once in a while but it's fun heckles they're not even mean heckled so I'll say that what they like the thing is I go out I've got two spotlights in my face there's 5,000 people there if someone shouts them I didn't hear what he said right so I ignore it and then people think always annoying heckles have you heard I've had issues the Ricky you know it's not a heckle right right you know no I don't get hackles and they're sewing all the way through because I you create that culture whether I'm it's one way one my conversation I didn't I never I never invited that I don't I don't do crowd work I don't really I never grew up in that that bare garden where it was fun to get a drunk and present you don't put him to shame you don't show him he's drunk they're happy to be part of a show often they think they're help destroy a heckler and they come at the bar afterwards and say oh it was great you know we did it no we didn't do it no you were in India yeah yeah I smashed you and that was that part of it I don't want to give anyone the satisfaction of being part of this show things happened oh you get so zoned out you don't I've told this story before mm Caroline's one time and after the shows like did you see what happened I'm like no and the guy had taken out his dick and pissed on the floor in the middle of my set and he was just drunk he wasn't even being he was literally sitting there with me being sexy for you yeah no not at all he's even try to get my attention he kept hidden wanted he was enjoying the show so much Jimmy was on the floor Jim was upset because he didn't get to go out and leg up the party yeah I wasn't going to say that my senses I did have a picture next to the puddle because I told me they threw him out it was a whole thing I saw none of it on stage and I have a photo with the puddle I took a photo with it just so it was a real thing that's a nice things happen that you have no idea they're happening in the audience yeah no exactly right but yeah that's that's annoying but I was happy that I was really honored that something like this happened yes there's somebody insulated that much they don't want to leave how great is that I would do email he didn't want to go to the toilet so he just never get out I got self arrested while I stood up if he couldn't miss one joke yeah I want you out one joke all right maybe this is in a blackout had no idea what it wasn't right put on you Stevie I wish Mel Gibson better you by the way I know if I've seen you since him we might have asked you about that and we interviewed you last I just saw you or not and I maybe I think I think he was coming into a you know I think it was difficult for him because I don't think he wanted to be there we had a film out you know it was he's had a rough ten years I think he wants to forget it sure I think he did his best to laugh it off and laugh it off but I'm not yeah I think he I heard an interview that he was you know I don't if he said that comically that is our yell I I wanted to kill him you know I think people don't want to be reminded of stupid things they've done that's all not in that world comedians for the rest of their lives could be shown on for something cuz for some reason we can handle it but but a lot of times a guy like that was not used to being made fun of it I used to ridicule yeah I'm not kidding of course well you know it's the a and the privileged position the fact that you know the way spoke to the police officer stated that how dare you arrest me yet yeah I didn't pick up on the worst things he's done the tape was a girlfriend Jesus I didn't even that was too that's too dark for me to bring up do you not I mean we literally did a year on the radio on those okay yeah I would I was doing sort of light entertainment ribbing yeah we all get drunk we don't say to our girlfriend you know I mean like I didn't even go to the darkest points of his yeah so it's you know but yeah no one wants to be the butt of a joke even if it's gentle teasing because some people get to do they they think they're above it they think that no one has a right to make fun of me I've won I've won an Oscar and by the way not [ __ ] true we've talked about your about the David remedy which was life on the roads are so good which is the animal er the album I listen to with no irony like I just genuinely love if you don't live for the lyrics it's actually a pretty good even the lyrics are fine like I even you know there's another handily no they don't make fun of disabled when I go this is our song for Bruce to be singing you got it yeah yeah yeah when I quite Smith see though isn't it quite Morrissey please do it from the disabled yeah that could be a Smith song and record yeah oh yeah yeah I mean look they were obviously but you listen to them in the 91 line we are like wow the person singing this seriously is a dope like he'll say one line angles but like God red means exactly he means in serie he thinks it's great he thinks he's Bruce John Cougar Mellencamp he thinks he's bowing clouzot an amazing I also like you probably because we my family lives in England for a few years when I was growing up and my dad like after when you perform Slough for us live my dad called me and he was like do you remember going to Slough and I was like no I don't remember red brick jungle I think it was Bill I think it was built as a sort of town to have working-class people do you know moved out of London and start up like industry and stuff everything like this is not this it like nobody would write a song about will that happen oh you know it's a really romantic beautiful burden sort of Radio ahead of all will you of the song about about being close to Windsor but the property's less yeah and is accidentally dissing it you know or the critics say it's cold and the lifeless in grey or whatever that's my favorite line don't with a critical critic I know it doesn't you know forgiving Sir John Betjeman to write about it in the fifties that's a chopper a Nevada is that like David Brent would hear somebody like perform this beautiful song that's an ode to their town whether it's like New York City or any of these big cities and then it's like he's like yeah no no my my city the same exactly yeah yeah you choose to music by the way started do you choose the music like for uh for extra isn't for the audience I love that the theme songs were amazing yeah um in fact Jane played me the handbags and Gladrags years before I was a great great track by Rod Stewart we couldn't afford that version we had to rerecord it with a sound-alike wait was that a radio guy who did your version who sang the version you guys have big big George Wembley right that's right he sort of produced it and we got a singer who could do a Rod Stewart um sort of it's so good and yeah we recorded yet and then um and it's funny because uh I was it was either that or sitting by Cat Stevens which I loved and we couldn't afford that either or we didn't get permission for that but then we got permission to use tea for the Tillerman which was oh yeah I ever bought I just think it just it just it just worked well you use a small proportion of the songs to in an odd portion like in like the office starts with this just in the middle of the song it's so good yeah because it's it's so melancholy and and uh yeah your version is just a ROG to its version I actually I prefer the version you have a hers I mean his is very good but I actually prefer the one you have maybe just cuz I'm used to it and I associated with the show it's a little bit sort of solder isn't it yeah like just yeah especially when you're seeing a guy with a [ __ ] with a hat that has like you know tooth holders for beer and a radio station thing on it have an excuse for roof you're like most fun do the most fun just trying to go through your day until you die it's insane I mean yeah it's it isn't it yeah that's what most people that's what we all do we try and we try and them make exciting days more frequent than the most boring days but then we die it's still the best portrayal of that guy of that person who wants to be funny who wants to be and yet it's believable like there's too many people that do like fake awkwardness and it feels fake like oh no that's awkward shut up you know you're good-looking but that feels like a real guy yeah well I think I think what what people realize was it was an affectionate look at David bent by the end Uncle Tony I think they realized that well actually we're all a bit like that that is all of us we all do that and I think that's why people identify with it it wasn't just them laughing an idea it was deep down they were going I've done that yeah well I want to give him a hug when we find I work in yeah hug yeah sorry he's getting wild I got away with it every day and I get away with it cuz I'm not being filmed right you know right the thing the guy when you're reading a paper in season two and just this [ __ ] awful speech and the guys phone rings and you like turn it off you don't listen you're not going to enjoy it well I thought I got that right so so when we we lived in a within United I go enjoy it this it's this disguising this tension like he wanted he still want everybody to have a good time right but it's he's so tense but it's not happening all that happens right well about 1985 we went to a little local fight in this area called Kings Cross it was a little local fight and it was a shitty little thing right and they had nothing there tombolo and it was the mums making the thing and there was like you know loads of like toddlers and six-year-olds running around and then they all gotten down there's about there was probably about 15 kids sitting down like 15 six-year-olds right and this old guy his name was I won't say he's now he's must be dead now I doesn't matter right he had a little Punch and Judy show and he's about 75 and he's already done this all his life and he came and he's going out licked a bunch right and this kids talking and then at one point you saw mr. punch just slammed down and he came out and he goes if you're not going to listen you're not gonna enjoy [Laughter] six-year-olds um I can't watch you now like I see and that's the thing about heckle if you're too harsh on someone with a head whole you that you've ruined the show for them because they didn't really get I've seen comedians go oh really oh you [ __ ] idiot no I think when I sit there I'll go back I need a lack well we just seem that you want to stab this guy in the audience Oh sometimes we do you know there's that's a great point there's a weird thing when you get yelled at you have to gauge immediately what level do I hit them back at and if somebody yells at the front row and they yell something you a have to repeat what they say so everyone knows what your might not mistake before and he was on to them I'm just having two legs well he said yeah but once in a while you get a dream heckle yeah like I was at the cellar one night having an amazing set on a Saturday and this shitty bachelorette party was in the back and it was a good show and everyone knew was a good show and they heckle they yelled something wrong which was basically an invitation to be barbaric because they yelled something so unnecessary and so confrontational yeah so I knew I had free range I really like to say whatever I want watch the why you get one of those but it's horrible and they just yell and it's a summit that's funny or sweet or complimentary you just just say thank you very much yeah you don't there's no there's no need to you know and I never have stock put down so I mean I remember the first time I saw a stock quote I thought it was great then I heard nine other people do the same yeah is it what are really yeah you're relying on no one ever been to a comedy club before if you're doing those yeah and I you've got a gauge everything but you know I would say if you're playing a theater and they've paid a hundred bucks to come and see you they're not there to heckle right so you know to be entertained so but I didn't I don't do those clubs so I never did really um but I don't I don't I don't really do those clubs so I'd put down sorry I'm the stock to stock put downs or whoever first came up with them is a genius yeah whoever first said to somebody loud in the audience hey where'd you learn to whisper in a helicopter yeah that was a grommet genius who ever said that yes and and the other one is 'm annoying isn't it you come up for a conversation and someone builds a comedy club around you oh really good hey you're bothering me while I'm working do I bother you and you're working do I get out of the quarter and slap the dicks out of your mouth exactly whoever said that yeah there's time yet but only the first only the first time for somebody said it first yeah and give you with a heckler they wouldn't know how true I know how the hell did you know exactly I just say thank you madam and I want madam I'd love Jim evidence thank you mother said anyone what scenario is it the Jim know and said thank you madam I'll tell you there's a pile of something on his chest ya know it's got matter oh yeah that all depends on your perspective under there yeah that's a great bumper sticker to say if I'm cool transfer but I have to argue with it if you call transfer we just send in the photograph go do this look like I'm drunk it was a crazy just look at the first three take to the window scrolled it away he's gone look at this video doesn't that little guy there in the corner he's our transportation look at the guy with his mouth full no looking and looking up with gratitude just say that's not obvious anybody that's joy that is funny that's it he had a wedding this is unbelievable this is going out on air one guys did you ever welcome I could carve out such a niche and again do you ever catch any ship from from young comics that were jealous that you didn't have to go through the club system to achieve kind of being well-respected by legendary comics I don't know I don't think they'd have done it to my face right I didn't coming come up and talk jealous of you because that's a that's like like young comics all I want is for like Norton or louis c.k or Chris Rock or any of these guys to be like yeah we can we can speak on a level that we we can relate to each other as comedians well I think I think they a mess about there's rules of what makes you a good comedian you know it this there's a thousand ways to become a good comic and it's it's such a huge field I mean it used to annoy me when whenever ads like you know the top top hundred comedians of all time they were all stand-ups now that one old on what about what about these guys are doing amazing stuff and they don't do stand-up right you know yeah this comedy isn't just stand up it's it's one one string to to a bow so I know why that happens though because it's the purest form and you can't hide behind anything and it's just you up there less and less though those days because more I find out more and more comedians have writers you know which is right righty Dangerfield head writers news really well then I'll go comics aid used to do jokes didn't they so you know we had that you know like in the 8th is when it came in it you know I can work out I think I think there is no new wave comedians they were lumped together because they were probably not racist not sexist right but actually I think the big difference between old comics and new comments is that the new comics wrote their own material and they told the truth over about their own lives as opposed to that shared pool like in the fifties and sixties and seventies the biggest comics in there might be ten big comics and burn and they all shared jokes really they just all shared jokes they know the northern you know they and they were all racist and sexist and my wife jokes you know and they were comics and it was is that they all had a thing some were weird some of you know rude some were cockney some were Scouts or some would you know but they were basically just telling real old-fashioned jokes and then the newcomers came out and they've deconstructed it and did other things and and and nowadays it's rare for me to see a comedian like then just tell one-liners right yeah great you know I don't do that but now I think I want to I want to get a piece of that person's life but you know you know any writers no yeah no never never have you know which you know because also I want I want people to know everything I say is true if I'm saying it's true it's the truth you know and I think and I want to see a community going oh isn't it weird like gentlemen when you're on the bus you have been on about wait don't I hear yours cousins no you were why well if you're right as was and I think the bottom falls out of it yeah I think so for me I've dropped I don't write one-liners or surreal jokes and the ones I have I put them in the set and they go wow but I think are maybe they think the other jokes are lies so I've dropped them so I don't do right I do I I did a joke a couple of times and I didn't like the way it set it it feels fraudulent sometimes saying certain things don't you're right it does feel like I don't believe that yeah and if you lied that time is this joke a lie as well and I had to be all based in - I don't worry Joe when some are but I had a bit of bad news today actually there my friend committed suicide he just went upstairs and swallowed everything in the bathroom cabinet choked on a tampon that's so not me I'm so fine I just thought That's not me right it's a joke yeah and I don't do that I can do it you know but I thought it for the next two jokes are they going is there a sucker punch coming is there a gag here right and I want it to be I wanted to take it I want to tell a story that's what I want to do over an hour and it's got a slight narrative almost my stuff you know and it deconstructing it in it I'm always examining so it's analytical it's almost like a little lecture that's what I do and I think that's what I'm good at do you know I started watching too and again as another Ozzy Osbourne recommendation he would one of his favorite comics the kid so of course I went in YouTube Tommy Cooper who I'm talking about right or he was a really funny really did what he did better than anyone's ever done before he was a buffoon a big guy who come out and he's uh and he did jokes like I was a doctor you know I said it's me when I do that and he lifts his arm up and up said don't do it in if things I know I've got a real pain in my chest and then he put here help you as a jack and pulls out a window Payne done really really tiny things Annie do magic tricks that always went wrong until the end so it was just he was it was playing like it was quite sort of postmodern because he was playing a person who was terrible at comedy right he was very funny it was great wasn't it yeah it was almost like a really modern character act but he was you know it's just a buffoon those guys were also very very hamstrung by content you know like Lenny Bruce kicked through by talking about religion and Catholicism those guys weren't allowed to talk about religion they couldn't talk about sex so a lot of those guys who did kind of intermingle jokes they had such limited range of what was acceptable to talk about in a club so they a lot of times I think that kind of another goal though wasn't it thank you know there's any laws and stuff what was on your career like Jackie Mason the myth Ed Sullivan thought that he did the [ __ ] you sign on his show but he didn't and he had G hurt Jackie's career badly like for years he had him banned from television because he thought Jackie Mason had done an obscene gesture which he apparently didn't do I haven't seen the set but uh you know like if somebody back Buddhism yeah I suppose they still happens now like I'm disgraced comedians are ones that work for the BBC that I've got handcuffs deal you know and then and then they lose their job and it's like really embarrassing whereas I think if you do your own thing and you're you're sort of pretty bulletproof if you're not beholden to anyone then you know you go where in fact you know I think if you if you're doing stand-up and doing the sort of I do a scandal about a terrible joke sells tickets sure it doesn't hurt yeah no one's going to go because those people aren't coming to my shows anyway right people who care about blasphemy laws or obscenity laws they're not buying a ticket to my show so it's it's totally irrelevant to me I think was the days where you were sort of owned you know I mean yeah you know and we could be hurt by one person not like and you could ring right now now the biggest broadcaster in the world is the internet anyway so if you can't if you can't get two minutes on Conan them and so what you know there's eight was it 800 million people on Twitter 1.5 billion people on Facebook you know you find your niche and you work it how how many people do you want coming to your show you can so I think people sort of live and die by the sword nowadays it's a lot it's a lot fairer even with all this stifling these lies and this political correctness and that even with all that there's the truth without your you know you will live and die by your own morality and and you know if you again if you don't break the law I'm going to come see this so I think we have to break right we just absolutely to break our bure ricky you're always amazing and just to promote everything we need to promote humanity world tour which is sold out everywhere in the world except a new show in new york city going on sale offer it's in october it's going to sell this Friday 10:00 a.m. exactly New York time and la 10:00 a.m. la time for October to do a third show the dhobi at the Dolby theater with the Oscars oh that's where that is yeah that's the only chance I'll ever get to be on that stage well please mr. shoulders I mean I didn't even know where I was I'm like really Ricky Gervais com4 tickets are this V shows will sell out I believe I'm coming to see this Sunday you're in the night yeah and I'm doing my own hour tonight at the fat black pussycat around the corner from the Comedy Cellar I'm working out the new hour if you want to come well what's not I know the comedy service that like the only I think I know that I'm Caroline's and one other there's two comedy sellers there was one of us went upstairs and one downstairs what's not the Village Underground another comedy show with same comedians and upstairs is the Village Underground I want to do that just for the fun of it you should it's where Colin works out his material it seats about a hundred people and it's an amazing space we do they do joke there's Monday Thursday Tuesday Wednesday Colin will usually work out his new hours one-man show he's not there tonight so I love quite I heard this myth of it was the only person that Jerry Seinfeld followed and I heard him I spoke to him on this show and I wasn't quite aware of him because I'm from England and and then I saw him on the comedian that Jerry Seinfeld's thing and he's great isn't he have you seen it his uh his shows his Netflix special now unconstitutional New York state all right it's [ __ ] brilliant I didn't know it I've been rediscovering like people that I would really like I just got the end of um Patrice just going back and seeing everything he's ever done I you know others on YouTube yeah it's amazing there's no one like him he'd come out he'd start he'd walk out and he'd start with the most contentious thing and then work backwards yeah do not I mean and then slowly as I had never addressed winning more and more and more anyone ever been bravely like that you know to knock everybody out first and then already get them but unbelievable yeah and I'd never heard I'd heard them in but I'd never seen any Mitch Hedberg Stanford yeah mister so great right got that just a brilliant writer really funny performer yeah you should check obviously and but you should see Colin man his his stuff is so you don't have the thing about college he never ever and as a comedian it's inspirational because he never takes a shortcut to a joke and when you watch it I forget years ago I was on stage at the cellar doing some dog [ __ ] joke it was some cheap and he walked through the audience to the bathroom and I just hear him go good writing lazy so the tiger right yeah [Laughter] but he really he's really uh never been watching me like this is a guy really never ever doing what he thinks they want he's truly and I hate to say it sounds corny and poetic yeah but he's a real artist in you yeah no no I like his face which is odd thing to say with someone who's so good but yeah Bert Lahr he really exact I'd like to not a dude yeah I like gum no Doug Stanhope I love yeah yeah yeah he's he's the one that's pushing stuff at the moment intimating doing it from the gut isn't he yeah and a lot cleverer than it looks like it looks like a ran but I've been watching him for a few years and yourself Jim's coming on any oh I don't know he's getting there oh he's getting shy now yeah I might get a compliment I wrote song by Colin and daughters last Netflix special was like Jim's was on another level like well thanks it was really good oh come on guys let's mix it with it okay a Jim is such a good comedian he deserves to be tied down by a jailer by a blind jailer yeah that's how good you yes I'll apologize to anybody who has nearsighted or farsighted for that should I just meant the guy cheatin I didn't know our ugly the thing that he was [ __ ] on what would [ __ ] on anything but [ __ ] other just I didn't realize that is Taylor anti-gay is hideous puddle of humanity is getting shadow I'm not even worried at the mansion okay I understand myself you know throw that thing away and leave the [ __ ] [ __ ] off that thing's needs let the [ __ ] that's been throwing the thing away we have to keep the Bears and probably Jim was Jim puts down a garbage bag and lays on top of it to get [ __ ] on and then just pick the garbage back up and tie yeah that's the whole thing is that it's not entirely true what's the break this was the break for we have stuff to do we have the break to do a read when we want to do the reason I can go you can do what you do then what do we do then we have we're only on the air until about 10:00 or 11:00 you get a spot you what you get people obvious bye sir yeah I can wait so who listens to this show right the people at home yeah but people who are you know mobile phones we want that little lizard who lives getting shut upon forget to get people to buy our phone whoo-hoo [ __ ] advertises on this show well do you have really we have no we have to do a live read I can do the read now we can talk from the few minutes we'll have to break I'm interested in who wants you to share it's actually a product that I like which I good I would say that you know I'm not I'm not drawing about you about doing Polly about that fun it's honestly like that's a laxative but I'm very interested on what what CEO of what company says we need Jim Norton to do this well a lot of times I'll sit here and I'll say when's the last time you watched your home movies I'm not even doing the read yet riders the music now if you like I feel like most Americans is a box in your closet of videotapes film reels and photos so don't ever get watched worse they're deteriorating introducing legacy it's a simple and affordable way to get your recorded moments digitally preserved on a DVD or thumb drive here's how it works you simply load legacy box with your old tapes films pictures and audio recordings and send it back I don't know if I'd be comfortable doing that with all of my videos so if you have nice ones of your family Jimmy you've got an old film reel that involved in the stunt with a coke bottle a mini van is waiting kick back interesting Fatty Arbuckle another one I can't masturbate to this now you send these back in and you get them back in a couple of weeks on a DVD or a convenience some drive ready to watch share and relive hopefully legacy Vadis that takes care of everything and provides updates at every step of the process that's why over 250,000 families have used them Huffington Post Parents magazine USA Today and the view they're all talking about legacy box and for a limited time go to legacy box.com slash rock to get 40% off your order legacy box comma / rock for 40% off and I really do want to use this because I have so you so you've got all your videos you don't want to just put in the band all your favorite films on sort of video or DVD or whatever yeah and you send them off and they digitally record them and I probably don't they probably give you the digit record the actual live all the things that you've done yeah that's on a DVD or a thumb drive or thumb drive or something like that this way you have it and you can save it and its legacy box.com slash rock for 40% off and do they mean but they also mean movies not just your home movies though you can't do you can't do movie movies like your Laura write happy right stuff so it's all your home movies and things like that that you never I see I see how you have it unlike it like a like a reel-to-reel or something right you can send it off and then you can actually watch it you got on a thumb drive you put in a computer I found yesterday a bunch of sets and I used to get upset at the Comedy Cellar a videotape everything and I have a bunch of videotapes this is back from like 2005 when I was warming up for more 2006 I was warm enough my HBO special and there's a bunch of CEDAW videotapes I found yesterday and I'm too lazy to go through them but a part of me thought of it so I mean almost I can send them in and get them done just so I can zip through on a thumb drive and see if I ever want to watch these or if there's anything I can do with them ya know it's really when I see it like a documentary about a guy that I've never heard of and they've got all this home footage and I think I'm so jealous of what none of that other videos of you when you were a kid there's nothing nothing not nothing at all it's like it's like mm before 2015 nothing now a billion things every day of people filming themselves and you know I mean yeah it's all crap everything and yet there's nothing there's nothing of me as a kid or no I don't mean miss proto's I'm sure I follow me oh yeah enough in a in a yeah but probably 50 I've got 50 of me in the bath from yesterday right yeah right it's a holiday we just had a kid and it's like everything everything is photographed every single video taken on every single day there's video oh it's video the first time he meets the dog let's video when he goes here oh let's video him look he's cooing video it like there is so much well apparently I don't know if Easter or how they even worked out but I think it was 2014 or 2015 when everyone had a phone there were more photos taken than the rest of history Wow Wow yeah and that's presumably doubled trebled yeah it's crazy how much you know PI awful so if I want meaningless photos what if I don't you did duck face and tweet one you know and then that gets and then that's how many how does that how many that count of in the on the internet with the retweets right you know I mean every photo there's a million right of those photos and every single photo is it's this copy copy copy copy at us do you like pictures of yourself it's very funny your your Instagram of your Twitter is so funny because it's purposefully horrible photos of you in the tub yeah where you take photos of your face all right you look dead and they're great photos you like when someone says okay give me a sexy look comfortable now that's embarrassing it is right there can't do that you don't never particularly I mean well after the age of 35 I've never take you'd like it but as a comedian you've got to be careful because irony doesn't come across even I mean right it's like you don't want people to think oh you think oh you think you're sexy dad all right I was laughing at me but you think sorry you think you look a bit like Johnny Depp in that picture don't you yeah and that's that's the word oh no I know you've got a little bit of you in everyone's vein but no I'm I suppose you I I don't just do as a defense mechanism I when I get a picture of me looking like a like a fat bloated corpse I'm so proud of that yeah I've got pictures that I'm so I Jay Jane look at this look I did I get brilliant cut off a little bit I've found different angle where my stomach looks like fifty times bigger way to turn the camera upside down so there and I'd love it I never thought there's an more unflattering angle I know angle that's even yeah flattered and then there's a little bit of alchemy where you do it wrong and is it you're in the bath and there's a little bit of foam that looks like spunk um and I can I mean it just it's almost akin where it's punking tell me what it's for but the self-awareness and so far the self-awareness of going look I don't want anyone to think that I think I'm sexy yes that's the death knell of the comedian when you think you're sexy it's like no one likes you for that reason they like you because you're funny so it's funny to like when we medians get into that like I'm Han some people like go [ __ ] yourself yeah but then there's another part of you when you're public eye and you don't want to give anyone the satisfaction of you accidentally looking [ __ ] yeah so you know you wear shades and a hat if you know I mean you don't want to that you know close in on your bald spot because you're not I'm not worried about it but I hate been thinking they've got me yeah I mean so what you doing hiding in the bushes and trying to get me in my [ __ ] pajamas do you not I mean right you know you still go oh yeah okay I put a hat on because I'm them you know it's all those things that are annoying that you have to have a little bit of pride in yourself just because I don't want to give them a satisfaction and those bath pigs if someone fit there's a bad picture of me I go that's nothing look at this look what I did you know what I showed you no I mean it yeah I look pretty good there well you own it when you own something unless it's completely horrible but if you own things it's hard of people to get you on exactly yeah yeah it's how I look but yet this is my dick you know anti-regime this is my this is my horrible postulate in reptilian soft penis right right so when you see it in in private and you scream what the [ __ ] are you doing I've already shown you what I've got I'm only really hey look you knew it's just when I take in the picture excited by that if the Pakistanis a great stand-up but he actually giggled with joy when I said reptilian [ __ ] right right let's go back to my dick I worry about my family on this I have a couple of good photos of my dick which I'm happy to go down I okay okay a lot of bad ones but a couple of real gems that are that really are deceptive a good thing to do right as well as a little little tip right um with your penis right you can draw two little eyes right there paper and cut those out like two little eyes right put those on the stock turn your penis 90 degrees right okay so the little the little mouth bit is laughable to fish's mouth sure sure you open and shut that and the little eyes it looks like a little fish it's just a little fun it's like a puppet that's yeah yeah yeah you dressed up an idea is mapped in fours Robocop a little puppets a little fishy yeah yeah that's why I was and that's why I was fired for my children that's yeah there you go there was a misdirection I'll travel acting as a funny that was misdirected oh yeah yeah they work with kids that Papik that's what that puppeteer was doing when he told the kids if you don't listen you're not going to enjoy I still remember that mr. poster 75 year old bloke scream innocent six-year-olds I can hear where real stuff from the office came from I could look at literally watch a six-hour documentary on that thing makes me happen all the real person did that that's when I was on the Brent Brent speech when he's trying to win over the Swindon not yeah that came for me watching a open mic competition and this guy was so bad and nervous I hated it and there was comics with me that were loving it yeah I was going that's a human being up there you don't like watching a guy honey I can't do it i huh literally Jim's favorite thing to watch I can't do it I can't watch other people being embarrassed I don't mind me I don't get embarrassed I want to soak up I want to save them it's someone someone socially if they do a bad joke and no one laughs and they go red I just I wanted to take you I mean ah you want to res anything right yeah a take on our fall over I'll go shot myself I've shot myself yeah I can't stand other people being uncomfortable too close to me that I mean how do you feel about that Jim you love it I understand his instinct for that though I feel the same way but I also relish in it like good yeah I do in retrospect and then I fictionalize it and I can live through it and it's great so that David renting was I saw I saw it open Mike Wright came out and he was shaking so the audience went quiet his hand was shaking on the mic and he came out and he went you know when you're in a cab and he went oh no and he got a bit of hate from his back pocket and when no rights I was you know I was in a cab right and he start doing the joke and he goes wrong and he goes right and it was silent and it was just silence right people to look not looking in my and then he said I thought I was going on last it all got so real it just got so he is quiet and then he went uh I was meant to do seven minutes but I'm just going to go off now right I admit right and then he said he ended it and ever was quiet right and then he said and then he said right if I never do this again you'll know why and then he went Cheers and they sort of cut that and I was and I thought I love that I love that bit I have a friend doing an open mic spot in the office trying to win over people who didn't want that exacerbated anything like that I know it's the best sell and but real I mean real comics do it I've been so many like proper comics and they're doing well and then they say you didn't like that they loved I played it last week and out so you love that gag I don't do it oh why are you telling them I'm not liking it yeah we should it's really the bureau doesn't want to be reminded that you do that joke all the time anyway right there there's sin to live in this illusion that's affected it's your thing I watched you all - no there's nothing wrong with that joke and the people do laugh at that joke there's nothing like you even take a look at yourselves yeah I was working out a joke recently and I again this Tuesday night work out I do where you just work at the hour how payable in dealing and I've worked at this joke and it was bombing every time I did it I loved the joke and I finally asked the audience again is that type of thing it's a hundred people you're holding on right no I'd love to that I'm like that joke what is it with that joke do you understand what is it song comes and somebody told me what it sounds like I'm saying in the joke oh I'm like oh what I was saying I'm delivering it wrong it's a joke it's not a great joke I loved it I love your stupid peaches better speech speech impediment is pronunciate world um you talk like you got got in your mouth so you didn't realize that they were actually hearing a pretty different sentence it was just not clear what I was trying to say and yet candy anything it wasn't even a great joke it just made me so happy to say it I'm so bummed it didn't work but it was funny when they told me well I love the idea that you can pay to go see Jim performance you think you're going to see a Jim Norton Show and you end up workshopping the routine and it's an hour yeah but the most of it is actually good but that by the way that scene where you did that scene I got to talk about one more thing too because don't forget about watching the making of the office were you you're holding that paper and you sit down and he goes David David Brent and you go what whatever and you said whatever like that was the most real yeah like I miss not being a girl shop yeah response that was exactly how I work for special I was not only just bah bah thinking why so it's been filmed and his nemesis is talking to him a nice charming is just that yeah though yeah I like going through the worst day ever I do like I do like what's the worst day ever I was very jealous by the way watching the making of the office Christmas special I love Jimmy Carr I didn't know you guys went back that far was he's driving you around correct he because he lived in Slough that I was you him and Stephen Merchant I think it has caught my wait wait [ __ ] yeah how did you know these guys yeah he he lived in Slough I think he still lived in Slough at that point when we were doing it with Dean I was famous back then as he is now I guess that's 2002 around there I know it was but it was it was coming through the ranks we started out about the same time oh okay in fact what I did my first end of a show with Jimmy here's a guy that by the way does kind of like very jokey punchlines but it works for him it's kind of who he is yeah he does it a bit yeah he does great jokes he's very prolific and one of the reasons I don't is because at best it's it's so labor-intensive to do an hour of one-liners and all of them be as good as the next which is nearly impossible it's honestly I can make a joke work worked ten minutes you know deconstruct it and I've got a momentum whereas if you do a one-liner and you get a laugh and that took three seconds you've got a start from scratch I have another another one line that lasts three seconds then you've got another other Jesus exhausting it's exhausting and sometimes and they're really amazing and there's got no I think I think the best one-liner have got a bit of character with it as well like so if you go to Steven Wright and even Phillips they have got a little bit of a mint and because you know where it's coming from now you start you start getting it before they open their mouth almost so there's a there is a little bit of narrative built in and to Francis I'm gonna do Stewart Francis now going again he's he's he's got that is there's there was a biggie of some one liners what comics and the one-liner works as well if you read them as well as they do yeah I mean yeah it's almost they they've taken themselves out of the equation they've done their they've done the syntax in the semantics and they've handed over the joke to the world it's funny if you just read it as well you can't exactly and you can't own it because it's a pun yeah you know I mean so it's hard to protect that sort of thing but hats off to them you know I write one one-liner a month and I don't hate it do you think is that theater when I do what I do like doing is some a special occasion one line because they can never be used again so I really enjoy writing one-liners for the Golden Globes because it's about the occasion or at that time I can you know I can't use it again really yeah so that that's fun for me and if you're gonna do like young I love the art form I do love the art form can I do it you know it's but a one-liner is a little story in the shortest possible number of words yeah that's what that's what a one-liner is really they're hard to do to do well I am I guys with Jimmy Carter he'll do an hour and 18 of a [ __ ] hammers I mean he kills harder than most comics and it's all funny it's like it's really amazing to watch yeah it must it you're right it must be it must be so labor-intensive how your mind works we have to wrap up I know they're going to shut us off I think our show actually ends right Travis yes um so yeah Charles just said yes into the show a plug Ricky properly to our show is ending the humanity world tour if you want to see Ricky which we are going on Sunday for in October he's back here Madison Square Garden October the 10th this Friday morning tickets go on sale for October whatever it is yet and I am this Friday I'm sorry yeah in October and then in LA in October this Friday in LA 10:00 a.m. exactly and now if you guys want I'm doing my hour tonight fat black pussycat 7 p.m. show and the chip chip person podcast is up and our podcast goes up to there right yes it went up this morning if you search Jim Norton in Sam Roberts on iTunes or SoundCloud you can hear Maria Bamford and Chris Gethard on our show would this be a podcast it will be a hype let's plug this yeah this is actually be a party that's going to mark people people are already going when can I listen to this again now when can I hear this hour and half of dribble I can shut upon well well it'll be on demand later today thank you always the best to thank you guys you

Channel: Jim and Sam Show

Views: 493,202

Keywords: ricky, gervais, ricky gervais, interview, jim, norton, jim norton, sam, roberts, sam roberts, show, radio, comedy, stand up, television, the office, office, uk, united kingdom, funny, karl, pilkinton, tour, english, england, humanity, world, humanity world tour, athiest, fat, shaming, stephen, merchant, golden, globes, golden globes, oscars, hollywood, podcast, extras, david, brent, mel, gibson, mel gibson

Id: grTO80-TJ3k

Length: 81min 48sec (4908 seconds)

Published: Fri May 19 2017