Richard Ayoade Quizzing with James Acaster, Katherine Ryan & MORE | Question Team | Dave

we know her as Catherine Ryan but you know her as Catherine Ryan KR take the show by the Scruff and bring it to heal but bear in mind we are only partially toilet trained [Applause] I am now happily married to my husband my one true love my high school sweetheart he will always be the second dude I lost my virginity to but before our adorable reunion I dated one of the sleaziest Liars on the planet this one time I found a used condom in his bin and he had the audacity to say babe I had a posh wank foreign here's what happened Catherine now I know this doesn't look good but it's all a bit of a misunderstanding really you see the reason why that's in my bin is because I've had a posh wing and I'm already Canadian and you probably don't know about these sort of things but in the UK we are gentlemen we do this rather a lot now before Twitter explodes no Barry from EastEnders isn't my ex so I did [ __ ] him a couple of times he he's here helping me out with some dramatic reconstructions of the weak ass excuses people gave when they got caught cheating in each question I will give you three possible BS excuses one of which somebody actually used tell me which one and I will give you a point it's easy I put a shout out on social media for anyone who'd had an experience like mine one woman wrote I found a bra in his suitcase and he said it's his from when he was fat he keeps it as a reminder of how far he's come with his weight loss Journey four it's his late mothers she died in a fire along with all her possessions apart from one bra left on the washing line that's all he has left of her or at check-in a woman was two pounds over her luggage allowance so asked him to help out so which excuse did he give all right Dana what have you put I put in check-in mix up it was my bra it would be two pounds three three Stephen Dane is wrong I put in checkout mix up because it was my brother Richard dead mother you can't you can't mess with the dead mother well you can but it's not right well let's see if you're right well this this is mine before we met I had very big moves and I keep this as a reminder of my weight loss Journey still quite painful to talk about actually and very unfair of you to body shame me [Applause] the answer was a he claimed it was his bra you know what I carry around to remind me of when I was fat my son so that's no points for anyone I'm so sorry for your second Point can you tell me where this one is going caught my ex sending dick pics and when I confronted him he told me my friend needs these for an art installation about male body image these are from a mates we're just comparing our digs or I was trying to take a picture of my leg I didn't notice my dick slip into the frame dicks can be so slippery Dana what excuse do you think he gave I think he gave the excuse of Dick comparison because we know how it works with size you know when it's so big or small that there's rumors well this is how they start yeah Steven what do you think I'm gonna go with art because you say art about anything and you go yeah I mean that's that could be art it's art there was a vagina wall yeah the penis the penis wall would make it as a floor or a sprinkler system on a roof and Richard what's your answer I put dead mum again because you just say that so if you were caught taking a dick pic you would say I'd say it's the only thing left of my dead mode well let's see if you're running whoa and then now I know how this looks but I was just taking a picture of the old todger too send to the guys at the golf club I know you don't like how much time I spend there but you know you could at least give me this I mean why'd you always have to make everything a a thing yes so that's the point of Dina question three this is another post from one insightful Dame I spotted a hickey on his neck and he said I got stung by a wasp and my mate tried to suck out the sting or I woke up with it maybe you did it to me while we were sleeping or I fell off a bar stool and stabbed myself in the neck with a pool cue I want to write dead man I know but it's hard to know whether it's diminishing returns or it's going to get better I'm not sure dead mum jokes ever get better do they depends on the decomposition what's with the hickey what do you have I think he woke up with it and I think it's plausible I once had a whole karate fight when I was asleep so Stephen what's your answer I've put wasp sting Richard I wrote pool cue stabbing just because I want that to be the case I would salute anyone who made that as an excuse all right let's see if you're right well this how did I get this crazy I'm talking might right and I might I'm telling Mike how proud of you baby all the things you're doing at work suddenly I fall off bar stool managed to stab myself of a pool cue and you will never believe how I got the bite mark next to my boss Richard you get the point well done tell you what tomorrow this is don't go out with Barry from EastEnders time now for your final question it is worth up to two points and we're going to find out how good each of you are at thinking on your feet I will describe a compromising scenario that suggests you might be doing the dirty and tell me your excuse if I think that you've been cheating you'll get no points if I'm unsure one point but if you can explain it and leave me confident that I can trust you you will get the full two points and by the way in a relationship with me two points does mean anal take it or leave it what do you get for three dead mom dead mom what's up Steven you're first I get home late at night after performing another sellout arena show I immediately noticed you've got what looks like Lipstick on Your Collar how do you explain to yourself I was on the way back from the pub and a woman was walking her dog and the dog went into cardiac arrest so I got down on my knees and I gave it um I gave it that stuff and the dog came back to life and I hugged the dog and the dog was wearing lipstick foreign [Applause] I have four dogs and they're those tiny ones that shiver and piss from their eyes I'm always like kissing the backs of their necks so they smell like perfume and they do have lipstick on them so I would say such a story like that I'd be inclined to believe you and I certainly couldn't be mad that that you lied if you did something I saved a dog you saved a dog's life Frank two points Stephen yes [Applause] Dana you're next okay we're sat on the sofa at home each of us is scrolling through the gram on our phones suddenly a ringing sound comes from your handbag how do you explain that you've got a second phone well the thing about the second phone is I started doing um lives and I didn't want you to know about it and the first phone ran out of memory so I had to get the second phone to do my lives I was a little bit ashamed and I was also doing a surprise for you on the live so I had to get the second phone so you wouldn't find out a question from Richard my question so basically alive is when you broadcast live on Instagram right so you just press the button that says live and then it's live I see on Instagram did you come here in a time machine yeah sorry Stephen and I from the past yeah Dana you know me I always believe women apart from when the Kardashians say they've had no surgery so I have believed a lot worse I'll give you one point for that Dana [Applause] Richard you are next yes a parcel arrives at the house I can tell it is from a sexy lingerie shop I assume you've bought me a gift so I open it only to find it contains some silk boxer shorts that say on a note dear Dickie Thanks for the Memories what's your explanation my mother died he died in my arms sowing these boxer shorts right up until the very end beep there's a court strike through the sewing machine really disrespectful I'm going to deduct 1.5 4 Richard you had me at dad mum thank you two points Richard thank you [Applause] one thing many people won't know about me is that I love formula one because I'm really cool now quite disappointedly the budget wouldn't stretch to borrowing one of the cars or having Lewis Hamilton reading out the questions although he's a lot cheaper this year than he was last year so I've scaled down and I've brought Formula One to you so please allow me to introduce the Barnes hatch race track [Applause] now in a moment you three are gonna have a Formula One race but before we do that we need to determine the track position so I'm going to ask you some formula one related questions to find out who gets to start in Pole Position how's your Formula One knowledge I actually know a lot about Formula One I'm not even joking I knew what poor position meant excellent I got a driving license too and I passed first time so this should be quite easy okay so you're gonna have to write down your answers for this one right here comes question number one Formula One is massive it has a global audience of 400 million in 2021 it visited 21 countries across five continents in which of those countries does the Baku Grand Prix take place and there's no multiple choice because there are a lot of countries yeah that is true so over a hundred I believe still all right in which country does the Baku Grand Prix take place in which country which country are you ready yeah so Dane where on Earth is Baku I'm going to assume because I don't know um that it's in Malaysia oh okay Lou what have you put I don't know how to spell it but abacusan [Applause] it's from a pantomime this is what I'm thinking okay that's what you meant right yeah okay cool Richard the Vatican eight seconds yeah the actual answer is Believe It or Not Lu Saunders you're right [Applause] luckily for you Lou is not a spelling test you're all right yeah okay a Formula One car is made of 80 000 components and costs around 14 million pounds to build of that 14 million pounds 12 million is the cost of the engine so how many races do you think the engine is good for and this is multiple choice so is it seven 17 or 70. how many races does a Formula One engine last for I think in seven you're done yeah Dave how many races I've said seven seven eleven I put 17. I think it's I think 17 is slightly funnier than seven it's like even funnier but it is wrong the answer is seven [Applause] probably you've got for the European seven as well that's for me and so what I spent some time in France what happened after after seven Races they do it without an engine Richard yeah I'll miss it when it's gone we all know our Pit Stop is pit stops where Formula One driver stops during the race to change tires do any needed maintenance pick up against us pasty but to the nearest Second what is the world record for the fastest Formula One Pit Stop to the nearest second to the nearest seconds are you all done oh yes yeah day what's your guess some say it's my personal best it's two seconds no three or four three or four okay fine Richard one one second one second yeah it was actually zero seconds but to the nearest Second it's one no time yeah perfect the answer is actually two seconds so yeah okay qualifying is over it is time to race [Applause] [Music] welcome to race day guys here's how it's going to work you'll Race for five laps around Barnes hatch first over the line wins two points second place gets one point I'm afraid it's nothing for last place okay now you'll notice that your cars have been arranged in order of how you qualified Dana Lou are in joint Pole Position Richard you're bringing up the rear so this is the excitement bit because to talk you through the track I want you please all to give a very warm welcome to our very special guest F1 commentator the one and only Alex Jake wow [Applause] hello Angela welcome now will you please start by just talking us through the track well go on then it's Barnes hatch and sorry to barge past you but we've got to start funnily enough at the start because this is a real challenge it looks fine it looks easy but it's deceptively difficult into turn one past the repainted Bridge so we don't see the sponsor don't get copied all right don't get cocky at this point because you'll get out of here and you'll think I'm so good at this I'm so naturally talented but The Hairpin is a problem our audience have to go home tonight and in rehearsal it took a while so careful Haul on the anchors through there and then it's all about the speed back all away around to the start Finish Line it's a thriller it's Barn to hatch everyone thank you Alex [Applause] you've got any pro tips for our players well it was the great sir Lewis Hamilton once said to me Angela don't crash but beyond that just take it easy to Hairpin seriously these people have families we've got to go home I've got one question go on why why can't I use the plane that's there going around the track probably not me all right fine you're the expert I guess I have a question there was a rehearsal pick up your controllers okay okay let's do it good luck do you drive yourself here we go here come the lights for the question so you've grown free it's lights out and away we go [Applause] um [Applause] it's really about it's so calm for Richard at the moment he's streaking clear Dane's got a problem needs the Marshalls she doesn't like it Richard's Street confidence [Applause] is absolute cover [ __ ] all right there's a part of the track is on the floor a part of the truck is gone he's chaos in a moment this is gonna have to count because Richard's nearly there he's one truck away foreign for you all Steve Tyler yes he's the lead singer of legendary rock band Aerosmith he sold over 150 million albums and is known as the demon of screaming or less commonly as my celebrity look alike which leads me to my round which is yep you guessed it it's all about celebrity look-alikes or as I'm calling it my doppelgamer thank you I hit the streets to ask people which celebrity people say they look like for everyone you guess correctly I'll give you a point first up it's James hi my name's James uh I'm an I.T business analyst and I'm from London James what celebrity do people tell you you look like oh so yes that was I.T business analyst James what celeb do people tell James he looks like okay when I heard that you're doing a round on doppelganger I thought you'd be doing a quiz on my hit film The Double which is about a doppelganger but um by that reaction we can tell why it wasn't a commercial success okay Sue what have you put I've put this James Corden okay reg what about you I put this chunky Russell Howard thank you for saying it out loud because I felt uncomfortable and Richard now I put James Corden but if you look carefully there is a hint of Jimmy Somerville it takes a while but it's there let's take a look at the answer James what celebrity do people tell you you look like people say they don't like James Corden [Applause] [Music] right onto the next person my name's Andrew uh I'm a retired Professor from the University here in London where I live so Andrew what celebrity do people tell you you look like hmm that's hard this one okay before you lock in your answers I'm going to offer you up a clue so the person he reckons he looks like is an actor who accidentally broke Robert De Niro's nose is it Jody Foster okay Sue who did you put uh any old dude from Game of Thrones and I've done a willy there and a sword which are the twin but admittedly the Willy has got pubes on the helmet bit which was an error and I apologize for that if it is any old man from Game of Thrones suit I will give you a call thank you so you're welcome it's not reg Joe pish that's the only person I could think of that might break Robert De Niro's nose he can't reach Robert De Niro's nose okay Joe Pesci and then Richard oh that's good but he doesn't look like Harvey no I think he's decided he looks like Harvey Keitel that's a sad version a very sad should we actually hear from Andrew yes yes so Andrew what celebrity do people tell you he looked like they tell me I look like Robin Williams make they're getting angry now right that's a good reason it's a point for nobody I'm afraid Andrew you out Fox just all there let's say from the next one my name's Katie I'm not posture where am I from lapworth and Katie what celebrity do people tell you you look like so that was cheeky upholsterer of Katie from lapworth would you like a little clue yes yes please okay it's almost as useless as the other one they are a TV presenter who released their own children's book in 2020. that's every TV presenter okay Sue who did you put I've put uh cat daily and I have done a drawing which again features hair okay Rich every blonde white woman I have ever heard of [Applause] I think already you've got a point for that because I can't really deny it okay uh Richard I went on a journey with this okay I started with Katie Hopkins and then I thought Cat Deeley and I thought maybe Phil Schofield and then I thought Holly Willoughby because I do I there's a similarity and then possibly Julie Finnegan so in a way it's very much like Reggie's answer it's more specific say children's book written by Katie Hopkins chilling things I think you could present it to a young person I'm going to choose cat daily cat daily okay let's take a look and Katie what celebrity do people tell you you look like apparently cat daily [Applause] also a point to Sue and a point to Richard I've heard of Cat dealer yeah so that is included in my house I agree that's in the Venn diagram no point sorry okay let's take a look at our last person hi my name is Pierre I work in finance I live in London so Pierre which celebrity do people tell you you look like now one thing I would like to say here please take note on how smug Pierre looks with himself here right so you've got to bear that in mind about who people telling me looks like he'd be really chuffed with oh okay okay it's not Katie Hopkins I can't confirm that and an extra little clue for you the reason he's looking so pleased with himself is because his lookalike was named 2018's People magazine sexiest man alive okay I'm assuming that he believes that he looks like somebody black so um are you putting every young black man I've ever heard every young black man I have ever heard okay see who did you go for the super hot guy from Bridgeton can't remember his name beautiful yeah beautiful so beautiful that you just don't even bother looking for his name in the credits okay uh reg Michael B Jordan oh that's a good chance I think it's Idris Elba let's find out from Pierre shall we so Pierre which celebrity do people tell you you look like uh people told me I look like Idris Elba [Applause] uh well for my final question I've called upon someone who's a dab had with Photoshop to give each of you an uncanny resemblance to another celebrity okay so so who do you think your face has been mixed with there well it's better I think there's a whiff of cruise there yes there's a narrowing of the eyes and either I've got thin lips or those now I'm worried they're my lips so I think there's a stealiness there's a thousand yard sort of Tom Cruise stare which says yeah I'm gonna explode my knackers on a stunt that I'm doing Crossing from one building to another detonate my own genitalia as that stunt goes wrong good idea but yeah I think it's it's a Sioux Cruise or it's a it's a Tom Perkins I'll tell you it in fact so cruel okay red you're next who do you think the celebrity that you've been merged with is please that's great someone very sad who else is in my body that's a great round um I'm gonna say Michelle Obama is it Michelle Obama let's have a look unfortunately [Applause] okay and finally Richard thank you pretty pretty hey it seems like the cast of cats I'm locking in Julia Roberts and that's also a format okay Cam Julie Roberts escape from a room within two minutes okay so Richard you've locked in Julia Roberts are you right let's take a look [Music] Julia last series Richard I told you I was a people person and that has not changed I still love meeting them greeting them and treating them right but now I've added to my repertoire Charming them calming them and disarming them with my stunning smile I'm going to introduce you to three people and ask you some questions about these people unfortunately at the end of the last show that I did in the last series I said to all three of the people uh that was great if we ever do it again you'll have to come back two of them took that for what it was an empty gesture to funding otherwise all could walk back to the dressing room one of them however has emailed me every day ever since so long story short Christopher's back at the end then please welcome the class of 2022 Aaron and Beatrice for the show I asked these Heroes to send me their CVS now one job title jumped out Above the Rest so question one is this who used to be an erotic dancer you'll be asked the lineup questions if you like you want to ask anyone and anything I would like to see each one of you twerking that is appearing in my stress stream better I think Beatrice has got something going on there yeah and oh God go on Chris I can't unsee that so a b or c whoever you think used to be an erotic dancer okay Aaron Beatrice or Christopher a b or c okay Lara who have you put I put Aaron because I think he's the one best reason there could be Jed oh come on it's Christopher absolute pure 100 filth I can just totally imagine Richard I've put a for Aaron um I I fear though it may be Chris well let's see who's right it's not Beatrice United me one thing and I I don't wanna um [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] all right first one to tell us any background to this back in the late 90s I was in a group it was a tribute to the full monty and we were called the fraud Monty he was fat old and ugly and we had eight inches between us I asked Chris before the show if he wanted to put his trousers back on after this round he declined here we go question two oh come on I can't stop looking at it I don't want to but my eyes gone part of the challenge of the quiz jet I want to sleep I want to sleep again question two who is the cheekiest oh and I'm not talking about chaps let me clarify earlier today and without these three knowing I asked someone to order them whatever they wanted for lunch and I said that I would cover it so all I want you to do is tell me which one of the three of these spent the most now feel free to quiz that you didn't know this did you all right you thought I was being genuinely generous now you can quiz them if you like obviously don't ask them what did you have for lunch what did you have for breakfast today what are you having for breakfast I started porridge well then I had scrambled eggs avocado diet on sourdough bread with Marmite and beans I had a coffee and a hot cross bun Christopher I had a bowl of cornflakes with a little bit of sweetener on the top you put some sweetener just a little bit I had that and then then I had another Bowl so I had two bowls or another way of doing that anecdote is saying two bowls a bit of sweetener on the uh second bowl or you're just gonna no no that that's too much okay put down your guess who spent the most on lunch yeah of my money okay let's go for the answers lava I see it Chris Jen I'm gonna say Beatrice Richard Chris final answer it's Chris right the receipts are in foreign okay now interestingly they all went to burger joints now Aaron went for a plant-based burger with cheese and chunky skin on fries spending 16 pounds and 10 pence uh-oh Beatrice treat yourself to a grilled cheese sandwich with onions and jalapenos spending a measly three pounds 75. Christopher Chow Down foreign cheeseburger with onions jalapenos barbecue sauce and grilled mushrooms and regular fries and a millionaire shortbread dessert Shake whipped cream yes [Applause] right now question three who got the least amount of sleep last night now I hooked all three of these up to a sleep app last night results with me so you want to take a look at their faces decide who's the most knackered if you've got any questions for our lineup ask them now okay what time do you usually go to bed out between seven and eight pm what the [ __ ] what are you do you have kindergarten in the morning quite early how early three a.m roughly oh yeah yeah I'll hang out at the foxes no two follow me around as I run around sorry we're abandoned in the whole quiz to hear the rest of it two little foxes follow you around you get the digestive ease I go for a run and then they Trot with me you're getting up at three in the morning to go for a run with a couple of foxes he doesn't wake up in the morning he wakes up in the middle of the night yeah right put down your answers who got the least amount of sleep last night Lara who do you think I'll at least amount of sleep I went with Beatrice because I think Aaron cares a bunch about his sleep Jen I'm feeling Aaron gets up early to dance with foxes something not right Richard I I think it's Aaron get out your phones have a look at the sleep app here [Applause] mum is in the Box we got in bed for six hours and 18 minutes asleep for six hours and 11 minutes wow [Applause] in bed for 5 hours and 42 minutes of sleep for 5 hours and 13 minutes Christopher in bed eight hours and 36 minutes asleep seven hours and 41 minutes Beatrice okay so now it's time to combine all of your learnings about these free people to crack one last question and this time it's for double points hot to Marley it's the grand finale can you tell me whose electric car is this broom broom broom bring it in the room [Applause] foreign [Music] [Applause] do any of you have children Alan it's not your color it's yeah it's not your cup oh yeah open that oh you found a little bag there okay and it's it's very it has some sanitizer it has some pills uh-oh there caffeine I didn't know that bag was gonna be in there whoever's car it is oh yeah I hope you knew it was there that was a real tense moment though hang on there's a there's a list there on the dashboard that looks like a shopping list well did you find anything else in there there's water resistant spiking glue water resistant spiking glue one of you is a serial killer see I've made my choice it made your choice I know already if you how many caffeine pills did you have when you were in there if you were buying crisps yeah and you were putting it on this yeah would you write crisp I personally would not like kind of animal rice crisp they don't have the time to pluralize it the only vegetable is parsley let's have the end of the list probably just to make them feel okay yeah and Carver okay I know who it is yeah but the handwriting the handwriting was a little bit it's a little bit bubbly I'll let you in a secret as well I co-host a show on Dave and I enjoy this more favorite thing I've ever done hahaha right okay it's very tense larva whose car is this I car because the handwriting's nice I think he would take a caffeine pill because he looks all put together um I'm gonna go with uh Beatrice again um I think mainly because I think she's the only one that would know what to do with parsley uh Richard it's Beatrice for sure okay let's find out if this is your car please step forward and lock it now let's Patriots [Applause]

Channel: Dave Channel

Views: 296,149

Keywords: dave, uktv, comedy, British comedy, uk comedy, dave tv, dave channel, uk tv, dave comedy, panel shows, british panel shows

Id: GtVDVQoTGXs

Length: 41min 9sec (2469 seconds)

Published: Mon Dec 05 2022