RFK Jr.’s Brain Worm | Indiana Loves Nikki Haley | Viral Cicada Video | Gov. Hochul’s Terrible Take

[Applause] welcome welcome one and all to The Late Show I'm your host Steven colar okay all right enough of the chitchat RFK JR says a worm ate part of his brain this explains everything and nothing though having a worm eat part of your brain might explain why he says stuff like this I knew Harvey Weinstein I knew Roger ALS I knew OJ Simpson came to my house on Bill Cosby came to my house worm Ate My Brain everybody in let's uh let's dig in just like that worm did to RFK Jr's delicious frontal lobe today the New York Times published some newly discovered health records for the independent presidential candidate turns out back in 2010 RFK Jr went to a doctor because he was exper experiencing some cognitive symptoms like memory loss and mental fogginess as well as a tiny voice in his head going let's see what wine pairs best with Sarah Bellum lowly that's lowly isn't it busy town now so no so so uh you know play it safe Bobby Jr got a brain scan which showed an abnormality that his doctor said was caused by a worm that got into my brain and ate a portion of it and then died cause of death starvation but you know what you know what's really suspicious though right before it died that worm was vaccinated up till then perfectly healthy ran Marathon suddenly dead you do the math now here's the thing the Dead Worm is still in there medical experts aren't sure exactly what kind of parasite it was but they suspect it was pork tapeworm larvae which raises the disturbing question how long has RFK Jr been porking tapeworms now all of this all of this initially came out in uh 2012 in 2012 in a deposition from divorce proceedings where RFK Jr was arguing that his earning power had been diminished by his cognitive struggles classic Divorce Court argument your honor my client is entitled to alimony come on Brenda be reasonable you know a worm Ate My Brain now how about joint custody of the worm how about that in the deposition RFK Jr revealed I have short-term memory loss and I have longer term memory loss adding and I also have short-term memory loss now you might be thinking you might be thinking yes RFK Jr is a tad insane in the membrane but that can't just be because a worm ate his brain right right it could also be due to the fact that he was diagnosed with mercury poisoning likely from ingesting too much fish well of course those fish were just jumping in his mouth trying to get the worm that's you're teasing [Music] them now don't worry because RFK says that he has recovered from the memory loss and there are no after effects from the parasite adding I human person RFK Jr have never felt better and am definitely not controlled ratou we Style by a worm who lives in my skull lo my five Hearts hope to die on a sidewalk after a rainstorm oh no a robin but any I just want to say to any of RFK Junior fans who might be watching do not despair just because he has admitted in a swarm deposition that he has parasitic brain damage doesn't mean he's going to drop out because Bobby Kennedy Jr does not know the meaning of the word quit because that information was in the part of the brain that the worm ate now speaking of light sculled Americans federal judge Eileen Cannon seen here seen here as the cover model for dead ey monthly yesterday Canon announced the Trump's Federal classified documents trial date would be postponed indefinitely meaning that now it is unlikely that the classified documents trial will end before the 2024 presidential election no I was counting on Judge Eileen Canon to save us from Trump that's why I got the big Eileen Canon back tattoo to cover up my its meller Time Tattoo I mean we have to save us the Trump trial so we have to vote again the Trump trial that is happening here in uh New York New York uh they were off today uh so the bay could refill their supply of fabreze but everybody's still talking about yesterday's aggressive cross-examination of Stormy Daniels by Trump's defense attorney what was her name again Susan necklace Susan necklace Susan necklace are we sure that's her name and not just how Trump describes her okay Todd glasses does the opening statement Susan necklace does the cross Johnny bow tie here brings me my Big Mac and uh uhoh big judge black Mumu is mad at me again yesterday uh was primary day in Indiana a fact I totally knew before I read it in the prompter right there and in this primary there were warnings in the results for Donald Trump because despite her dropping out of the race two months ago Nikki Haley still pulled in nearly 22% of the vote wow wow she's not she's not even that's got to sting for Trump that's like a boss telling you sorry we're passing you over for the promotion and giving it to Mark may he rest in peace now Indiana is crucial for any Republican seeking the White House in fact just a few years ago Trump said of Indiana it's called important Ville yes that's why they called the movie in Portville Jones in the Temple of Doom starring the incredible Han Solo his wife was a big furry dog but boy could she fly that spaceship since Trump's criminal trial I've confused my stage manager since Trump's criminal trial is off today CNN finally had the bandwidth to cover the second most important story in America informational video goes viral ahead of cicada Invasion oh makes sense it is the cicada News Network we all we all remember those old ads this is of course yeah yeah it's a double swarm this time of course I've seen my fair share of informational cicada videos I'm an adult so this one must be pretty special to have gone viral Jim let's roll it where we are in the life cycle right now is the cicas are hiding right just below the soil surface and emerge when the temperatures are right it's roughly around 64° soil temperature and they'll come out crawl up trees or other inanimate objects like garages and stuff and they will crawl out of their exoskeletal shell which is the the shell that they were in in the nymph form oh oh to be a winged insect on the wall during that production meeting okay we need to fil an informational video about cicas I'm going to need four improv students some cargo pants and three tabs of acid what use footage of actual bugs you're a Craton now this video was made by Fame director of the Forest Preserve District of DuPage County Illinois let me just say when I was struggling for acting work back in Illinois I would have killed for the part of cicada in larvel stage but just like everything else else the PO would have gone to Steve Carell he just he just had that certain Juna sea there was also o there was some also some very interesting local political news this week involving New York governor and fourth grader who got lost on the factory field trip and was found 53 years later Kathy hok hokel was speaking at a conference uh on Monday when unfortunately she said this right now we have you know young black kids growing up in the Bronx who don't even know what the word computer is they they don't know they don't know these things that was not good evidently Cathy hokel thinks the Best Buys in the Bronx have a section labeled what everyone instantly knew this was bad even the sign language interpreter take a look at her face [Applause] but regardless of hok's terrible Gaff access to computers is a real issue in America right now and it's something that was hey uh it's I'm sorry everybody it's my writer John Tibido what's wrong John I'm confused Steve what's a [Music] computer John there's no way you don't know what a computer is there's that word again computer John I happen to know you have a degree in mechanical engineering how could you have done that without a computer I used a pencil well then how do you do this job you wrote the script of the sketch we're doing with each other right now and you have a computer right there in front of you oh this thing this is my tortilla warmer yeah yeah I got it at a place called The Apple Store you know what not a single piece of fruit in the whole join well John if you don't mind I'm going to finish the TV show what's a TV John Tibido everybody we got a great show for you tonight my guest is msnbc's Jen suaki and when we come back a great idea for the perfect Mother's Day gift stick around for Mom [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] a [Music]

Channel: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

Views: 1,711,455

Keywords: The Late Show, Late Show, Stephen Colbert, Steven Colbert, Colbert, celebrity, celeb, celebrities, late night, talk show, comedian, comedy, CBS, joke, jokes, funny, funny video, funny videos, humor, hollywood, famous

Id: 5Tjr1wluB9A

Length: 11min 39sec (699 seconds)

Published: Thu May 09 2024