r/Facepalm | oh

hello everyone welcome back to crisscross my name's perry and today we're looking at r face palm think about this jesus did not wear a mask nor distance from lepers god over science a guy once told my lesbian friend that being a lesbian is a huge turn off for guys and she'll never find a boyfriend well i suppose it's a good thing she doesn't need one then what's the most embarrassing thing that's ever happened to you three years ago a cute guy i worked with wanted to give me a fist bump i thought he was pretending to hold an invisible microphone so i leaned forward and said hello that is adorable i love that the bitter almond tree was banned in america in 1995 because it's the highest source of b17 which prevents and treats cancer still trust your government that isn't true at all they aren't banned the sale is regulated because they contain a fairly high level of cyanide always glad to see george carlin though cdc says coronavirus pandemic could be under control in four to eight weeks if everyone wore a mask starting now i ain't ever gonna wear a mask no way it is un-american besides solo hoax made in china by sobros and deep state to destroy the president dream on americans won't wear masks if they do they're not americans see this is why we can't have nice things just as this guy said with his little arrows in box create a problem sell a solution on wednesday i took a covent test results came back negative but i sneezed and this came out my nose next time make it look like it's on the finger not floating i play scrabble with my split personality being bipolar has its advantages being bipolar doesn't give a split personality it only causes unusual mood swings so next time learn about a topic before lying the democratic party defended slavery started the civil war and founded the kkk but you'll never hear that in history class lol you absolutely learned that in history class i was homeschooled and it was not taught but you know you wouldn't learn that in school probably scotland is better than wales scotland doesn't have its own language scotland has its own language scottish gaelic also known as scottish i hate when a boy say it a quarter till nine man just say it's 8 75 dang sister sister our guest appears to be a bit confused how am i sure i'm the real mom of my kid i just had a baby and it looks more like the man i had the baby with it doesn't look like me at all and i'm scared that he was cheating on me with another lady and i had her kid this kid is the best thing that has ever happened to me and i can't imagine giving my baby to the real mom how do i know i'm astonished that people like this are able to have kids like it's allowed perfectly cooked rare chicken steak gross if you're wearing a mask why would you care if i'm not your mask works right if you're sober why would you care if i was driving drunk your seatbelts and airbags work right that is a really good comeback to that question actually i just realized atlanta is spelled the same forwards and backwards maybe they do need to reopen the schools do not follow where the path may lead go instead where there is no path and leave a trail amtrak california with all due respect this is terrible advice for trains well how long would the pregnancy take if she had twins nine plus nine equals 19 months that's bad math to all you hunters who kill animals for food shame on you you ought to go to the store and buy the meat that was made there where no animals were harmed do you not know how meat is made don't be a karen guess you don't realize that's a racist slur well watch i'm going to say it again karen dog bite victim sues new york city for more money than there is on earth anton perisma is suing the city of new york for two undecillion dollars after he's bitten by a dog hypothetically speaking what do you suppose would happen if he actually won maskless starbucks karen wants half of one hundred thousand dollars raised for barista who wouldn't serve her really living up to the name here my sign today for the restaurant you can't argue about having to wear a mask when you can't even name the three branches of government that's a good point yeah but in a way i mean i don't want to die but i mean if that's what god has in store for my life then that's okay really taking charge of things let's see how that turns out remember when republicans lost their minds over this this boy selling beans on the resolute desk at a school meeting this morning the first thing we talked about is the cheapest way to make a will so there you go if the sun makes plants grow why is there no plants on the sun who are you who are so wise in the ways of science white house on trump's push to reopen schools but science should not stand in the way of this now i know i'm not supposed to have an opinion on this matter but yes it should i'm cancer free how do you change a zodiac sign i am literally so stupid my god never mind forgive me forgive my crimes against humanity last year i got rejected during a job interview for not understanding the concepts of a certain ios library what the interviewer didn't know is i wrote that thing i actually had a lot of fun during that interview holding your mega-themed wedding in the middle of a pandemic is a fantastic idea look at these boys look how much fun they're having when covet hit new zealand the government said everybody no going to work for two weeks there's seven thousand year bank account we added that's how they got started day one now they don't have covid we can't imagine doing that so here we are the temperature in those stores is atrocious there's no air circulation whatsoever no way anybody can be in there with a mask on funny i'm an old lady with asthma and i can wear one in stores with no problem yeah it gets a little hot sometimes but i'd rather be a little uncomfortable than end up with a tube shoved down my throat or make another sick funny how a short old woman could wear a mask and leave her home without a gun but big strong men cry about having to wear one and need a gun to go to subway nurses show triplets to the father who passes out with excitement photo from 1946 when ultrasound did not exist i love that photo wish ultrasounds were still not a thing they harm babies just like 5g is about to cook all our children homeland security department acknowledges detaining protesters cnn is blurring the faces of secret police and not the faces of people they're kidnapping what bakeries we refuse to serve gay people conservatives that is their right bakery we refuse to serve anyone not wearing a mask conservatives you're violating our rights i just received an amber alert on my phone googled it and it means someone got abducted near my area what hashtag aliens yeah should probably keep an eye out for those aliens better look for that car they're driving around in united health group just posted 6.6 billion dollars of profit in its covet quarter that obliterated wall street's projections and was by far the health care giant's most profitable quarter ever over a hundred thousand americans are dead and congress won't extend medicare to the unemployed because it's too busy protecting a corporate system that makes pandemics insanely profitable for wall street this is what capitalist healthcare looks like and it's wrong people shouldn't die for profit hello i don't want to make a big deal but why did you unfollow me so sorry if i posted something that offended you because you unfollowed me lol oh well if i follow you back will you follow me back respectfully what is wrong with you should gamers be put on a watch list similar to that of terrorists and criminals yes which is the correct answer of course or no i'm a violent person i see that backfired if we all just switched to cursive and stick shift cars we could cripple an entire generation i like how you talk crap about a generation you raised like it's their fault and not yours still wondering what happened to america in 1944 18 year olds stormed the beach at normandy into almost certain death in 2018 18 year olds need a safe place because words hurt their feelings uh that's a russian soldier i'm a christian so they may try to drive me to my knees but that's where i'm the strongest time to get your minds out of the gutter guys i'm talking about prayers here hey it's that photo i was talking about earlier with all the protesters arguing about not wearing masks in an enclosed environment look at those guys so let me get this straight multiple studies are saying getting the virus naturally oftentimes doesn't amount to a sufficient antibody response but a vaccine which uses a weakened strain of the virus offers double the protection yeah that doesn't sound fishy at all i'm sure she's right she passed her 12th grade science class which makes her a leading critic in the field of virology better than doctors than a virologist my son hangs out with an autistic kid sometimes and i don't want him to start taking after him and becoming autistic how can i nip this problem in the bud i suggest you have a strong discussion with your child's other parent and suggest that they do the parenting from now on as you sound like a moron autism is not contagious but i'm afraid stupidity is so stop spreading yours my boyfriend literally just got me some chocolates and a card for valentines like when i say i want chocolates what i really want is a ring or a necklace just because i say i want something doesn't mean i want it oh no she's caught the stupid harriet tubman didn't free slaves five quotes from kanye west's south carolina rally i seriously think the south park version of kanye west is the same as the real life kanye west how to gain 1 million views in just 3 days on youtube very secret tips oh those stats don't uh don't look too good awesome mask i can actually breathe in and not fog up my glasses i like how it's still compiled with the mask requirements in california and my country will joe biden do more to protect religious liberty than donald trump not a prayer city of toronto bans catholic churches from administering holy communion toronto's in canada you unbelievable idiot that is all i have today for our slash facepalm are you as disappointed in humanity as i am i bet not or maybe you are who am i to judge thank you so much for watching the video go ahead and leave a comment expressing your disdain for all humanity in the comments and i'll see you next time in the next video

Channel: Chris Cross

Views: 4,766

Rating: 4.9172416 out of 5

Keywords: reddit, r/, subreddit, best of reddit, r/ top posts, top posts, top posts of all time, reddit top posts, 100% True stories, reddit true stories, top all time, reddit posts, sorrow tv, rslash, giofilms, emkay, r/facepalm, r/facepalm top posts, r/facepalm best posts, facepalm, reddit facepalm, r/onejob, r/onejob best posts, r/onejob top posts, facepalm best posts, facepalm top posts, r/therewasanattempt, reddit there was an attempt, reddit funny, r/facepalm chris cross, chris cross

Id: fMgkALkqnsw

Length: 10min 44sec (644 seconds)

Published: Mon Oct 12 2020