Revealing The Secret Life Of Catholic Priests | The Catholic Talk Show

hey everybody welcome back to another episode of the catholic talk show today we're going to be grilling father rich what is it like being a priest yeah we're going to ask father rich a lot of the questions that you have asked us like what does a priest do all day what are some of the struggles of living your life as a priest and what are some of the unexpected uh aspects of living in the clerical state i've always said it's an open book you know like i'm happy to give my testimony but i'm a little nervous about these two guys asking me these questions so get let's let's begin i guess you're in the hot seat [Music] all right well we're back uh for another episode i'm i'm kind of excited i've got a few uh a few questions in my pocket yeah this is like a whole episode of inquisitions i don't i don't know how in the world we got to this it's been a long day already in my priestly life it's about to get longer how much money do you take out of the thing every a lot of people have asked us you know and a lot of people whether the young men discerning the priesthood whether they're people who just want to know who you know what the what happens with the priest in their lives what it actually is like being a priest because it is a very unique vocation among all vocations right you know everybody lay people lay women lay men um uh consecrated women religious priests monks they all have a vocation but i think the vocation is a priest there's a lot of misunderstandings there's a lot of uh unknowing about what priests actually do so we're going to try to get into some of that today uh ask father rich some of the questions that you've submitted to us and let's see um you know have him answer so father rich thank you for being gracious and being willing to answer these questions well in all sincerity it's an honor it's an honor because it's an honor that i haven't pursued myself it's something that god has certainly called me to um and i really appreciate the fact that the seminary the church and my bishop has have affirmed that discernment and i really wouldn't be here without them so uh you know the helpful aspects of of how someone becomes a priest and and the relationships they're in is everything so i really uh stand ready to serve every day and i'm very very blessed to be called to this way of life and it really is a joy so i'm happy to share the joy of the ministry with you guys today and all of our all of our viewers and and listeners you're a host and a guest at the same time and on the hot sending universal realities [Laughter] so i do think it's important to make the distinction that father rich is a diocesan priest so you know the realities of the priest of maybe a religious order is going to be different because they're going to have some particularities to whatever religious order uh or confraternity or whatever it is they're a member of but father father rich is a priest of the diocese of saint augustine and that's going to have a you know a different life than maybe a franciscan or a jesuit priest right so father rich i think the number one question people have of priests right is you know celibacy how do you live with celibacy day to day you know you're not devoid of the human chemical reactions that you know men have you're not so how do you live with being celibate day to day uh knowing that you're married to the church and not to a woman you know a while back i i turned to a brother priest who was an older brother priest and you know i expressed to him you know after i got ordained and i was probably i don't know like maybe two years in at the time maybe a year year or two years and um he said you know rich how are you doing and i said you know i'm i'm doing great you know i love the ministry it's awesome and he just kept on digging deeper and deeper and like looking at my eyes and you know but how are you doing how are you doing it just kept on asking me the same question to the point where i'm like well you know one thing is is you know you don't really know celibacy in the seminary until you start living it and it's a totally different reality i try to express that in not so many words uh as being someone who's very brief uh in commentary all the time but like i i just communicated that and it immediately turned into uh riches in a vocational crisis you know and and i wasn't saying that you know the truth is is celibacy you know there's a number of people out there who say oh you know that's not going to be the hard thing when you when you really live out your priesthood what's going to be difficult is obedience when you're asked to do something that you may not want to do um you know that obedience would be more difficult for me i've been very blessed in my assignments not to say that they've all been rosy but at the same time you know that that hasn't been a challenge for me uh celibacy has been a challenge for me you know it has been a challenge but it's a challenge that i meet with discipline and the discipline of celibacy allows me to give of myself to an extent that would be absolutely impossible if i had a family and the discipline of the celibacy that i'm called to is also an invitation in intimacy with jesus christ and his celibacy he gives of his entire life in service of others and he does so to the point of loving to the point of crucifixion placing himself in harm's way and i can't help but think of the celibacy of saint maximilian kolbe reflecting the celibacy of jesus christ on the cross you know saint maximilian colby very easily expressed i will give of my life so this father whose wife is mourning that he's in auschwitz his children that are mourning and crying and weeping that their father is separated from them would be able to return to them and be a father be a biological father and help their children grow and he so quickly gave of his life well i look at celibacy in a similar way now i'm not anywhere close to maximilian colby certain nowhere close to jesus but i feel i feel invited by both of them to live out this total gift of self and celibacy is certainly the structures for me to grow continually in my masculinity and to discipline those movements that is in every single man and i would be lying to you if i said you know i never struggle you know i would be absolutely lying to you so to be truthful yeah it is a struggle but it's a struggle that has produced a lot of fruit in ministry and i want to just share a quick story i was like two three years in the priesthood at this time at my home parish saint elizabeth and i remember one night you know by myself in my room and i'm complaining to god like i normally do and i'm like jesus man lord this celibacy thing just stays i want to be like you know i want to have you know my wife or whatever i want to have like lit and then next thing you know i'm not even lying middle of the night my phone rings emergency line right and i pick it up and it's this nurse who's calling on behalf of this elderly woman so i said i'll be over there shortly went went out to the house got into the how you know went into the room started speaking with her and i sit on the edge of this 90 year old lady's bed and we're sitting there we're having the deepest conversation it was so beautiful but i was on the edge of her bed right next to her and i was kind of slipping off the bed and i had her hand clasped to mine and i turned to her and i said sweetie you're gonna have to scoot over just a little bit for me because if i fall off this bed you're coming with me and then she says oh well what will all the ladies say at church it was just like the cutest thing that this this older lady said you know you never lose that right you never lose that and it was just such a beautiful experience almost of jesus saying like yeah you may you may not have someone in your bed and you're living out celibacy but look at these amazing moments of deep spiritual intimacy that you're sharing with people in your day-to-day life another brother big shout out to father tom dillon from the diocese of pensacola tallahassee i still remember this talk in when he came back as a as a cleric uh to share in the seminary about celibacy he said you know a number of people he'll receive in marriage counseling are struggling with intimacy and he said where my life i am brought into the intimate levels of people's lives every single day and there is an element of that that is very very supportive to our overall emotional makeup and how we experience joy in the midst of our in the midst of our discipline really so i guess i'd i'd kind of answer along those lines um that you know celibacy is a discipline it can be challenging at times but it opens you up for the most fruitful ministry and intimacy with jesus christ serving the mystical bride of his in such a beautiful way yeah so i got a question um to kind of follow that up you know you've had different assignments you know like you have an assignment now at a parish you're a pastor it's your first time doing that you've been a vicar pastoral vicar you've been in school for years uh full time and and then you know helping out at a parish do you find that do you find that the circumstances around your uh your assignment sometimes lend towards or against uh a different kind of fight of of the celibacy because you know i noticed there's a big change in you when when you became a pastor like i i've i've seen it and so i'm wondering if if it's more difficult to live celibacy in different circumstances than others you know i don't know if that's even a thing no i i think if i didn't have the busyness of my life you know the fact that like my day like i have to fight for my day off right i get one day off a week and i have to fight for it if i don't fight for it i'm easily consumed with messaging and questions and requests and and people suffering you know everybody's suffering you know you know father rich i've talked to you on your days off so many times and it's not that you're fighting other people saying don't call me you're fighting your instinct to want to help other people you're fighting your instinct to keep on giving up yourself against your own self-care or your own self uh sustainability so i wanted to make that so people didn't think well he's trying to shut people out on that day off and that's it oh yeah that's that's i'm glad that you clarified that because it's true i mean you know when somebody calls me with a severe issue or need like what am i going to do you know it's like if you're if your child if you're if it's your son or your daughter that's in hospital and in really a rough spot like you go like there's no there's no question but that can become you know like an everyday thing and i have to i have to discipline my day off so that i am at the top of my pastoral care for people so i know when i need to get away and get a breather and the beauty of it too is like my parishioners will say father you need to get away right you need to go get a breather go on a retreat go on a vacation um and it's nice to hear because they see how much i am so passionate about about what i do but i i do genuinely think to your question de la crosse which i think is a great question um there are there are different i guess uh missions that would be entrusted to you so when i was first ordained i was sent to one of the largest parishes in the diocese and then on top of that i was sent to a high school that was in need of of greater marketing efforts and to build the enrollment and kind of create an energy around uh you know boosting you know the the student body um at that time it was it was fantastic and it was just enough work for me to do where i was busy and i was locked in and i was focused on my goals and and working and collaborating with the people that i was with it was really a fabulous joy so i find if i if i'm busy and if i'm doing work that i'm absolutely engaged in namely just being a priest i'm going to be happy if i'm you know if i enter into laziness if i just if i'm you know trying to you know if i played video game i don't play video games but i'm playing video games every single evening like that would get really old and um you know and certainly if i didn't have the work that i'm doing right now i i think it would probably lead me to get into a little bit more of a struggle i think yeah i remember one time i was with uh father t right tetlow and he was my first vocation director and that's how i met you and uh i don't know i don't think you were with us that day but we we had a really packed day i was just kind of following him around and watching him be a priest and we went to chinocolo the community we served a lot of uh people in need there um you know there were some other events and things that we went to there was you know him in the confessional while i prayed and you know he's just a high energetic guy and we came back to the rectory and we went you know our separate ways and he said you know like how could i have a wife like i've been i've received so much love from god today i can't possibly quite share it with a woman right like it's just like and i think it comes from you know at least the way i saw it was it came from the ability to serve in persona christie and seeing with christ's eyes the ministry of his church and how he calls you to serve those that he directs you towards and the love that you see him share with them through that and and it fills you back up you know when you see that it fills you back up and it allows you to be super happy but also filled so much with the holy spirit he's just like i can't possibly have a wife ryan you know like you know that's what i i saw that day and that really gave me a glimpse into you know the priesthood that i had i had not had before that he's he was so good at doing that wasn't he i mean just incredible at inviting you into his priesthood and his day day-to-day going to the hospital going to chinocolo you know visiting a home a house blessing you know whatever it was he would invite you in and that was where i started to see a glimpse of priesthood as well uh without a doubt and what a what an important step that was uh for me as you know too is just yeah you know wow i never realized how beautiful the priesthood you know is and i you know i'm so glad that you brought that up de la crosse because there are many many days where you know you put in a 12 a 14 a 16 hour day and then you come home and your heart is so full and you've been talking so much with everybody that really all you want to do is kind of sit there in silence in your chapel or just sit there on the couch and just kind of review the day with god and just say wow like thank you for that but you don't want to really talk about it you don't want to talk about the details of everything or kind of unpack everything you just want to sit and revel in the fact like wow god you've called me to this way of life and i'm just beyond grateful i'm just so grateful for it so that's one of the that's one of the questions that a lot of people have is you know and i think we've already kind of touched on a little bit but what is an average day in your life like what is your schedule like maybe on a weekday and maybe on a sunday right because there's obviously going to be differences in a saturday for that matters but what is the day in the life just from a schedule a logistical standpoint i mean we don't have to get in all the details but what's your what's your itinerary book look like for an average day as a priest and then after that after that i want to ask you about what practices make you healthy as a priest you know that that's i think that's a really important question and i definitely want to unpack that because you can definitely develop unhealthy uh you know things in the process of priesthood and being busy um so to your question it's different for every priest because it's always associated with your assignment so i'll share i'll share my my experiences um so typically you know let's say at my first assignment when i had the large parish and then st joseph academy wake up early morning say six o'clock get a little bite um you know coffee uh hit the showers get dressed shoot over for the 7am mass finish that mass within a 20-minute window hop in the car drive up celebrate a mass roughly just prior to eight you got to keep that mass under 20 minutes as well get the school started you might have some administrative meetings depending on your day you visit your theology classes have conversation if there's counseling there may be a kid who's suicidal a kid who's really struggling after a breakup you could have a kid that's been a behavior problem and and you're trying to come at it from a pastoral element of it as opposed to just immediate discipline find out what's going on in the kid's life and and give them an opportunity uh confessions throughout the day adoration of the blessed sacrament facilitating prayer and then afterwards if you have spiritual direction sessions after school i might shoot over to the mission grounds hear confession spiritual direction for like a half an hour to an hour per person at that time i served a lot of the staff at our lady of la leche mission nombre de dios which is a national shrine we're actually celebrating on tuesday the nativity of mary which is also uh the you know the birthday really of when you know father lopez and companions first came on the shores 1565 erected across and established the first catholic community in the united states of america so great history there so i would spend a lot of time there and then come back to saint elizabeth and seton you know there may be something going on in the evening at a church like rcia um or a youth-oriented uh effort during the weekday um you know so you might have like youth group or or another bereavement group where people um you know were were sick or excuse me when a loved one died and they're still grieving um i still remember coming back to saint elizabeth and seton and there was a really cool ministry that was started by maria didis big shout out to her she had 2-2 tuesday and it was all these kids it was like all these two three-year-old girls learning how to do ballet poses like the first four poses and um so i would i would come and knock on the door and i'd knock her and then they would say come in and that would open up the door and i would say my fair ladies and then they would all do their like curtsy and then i would say what's the first position they do the first position i go through all the positions and then i would say what's the father richard position and all the kids would go like this so now these now these girls are like you know in middle school yeah i still ask them i'm like what's the father richard position and they're still like so you know like that and then you know evening prayer and then you like go out to dinner there might be a dinner or something like that or you know a family that wants you to come over their house bless their house um you know you go what does it happen that you go over to somebody's house and uh you hate the food that has never happened thank god never happened nope really i don't think so yeah i'm trying is that some kind of like uh special grace granted to priests by you know you know the holy spirit everybody you've never been invited i'm highly allergic to cats and there was a dear brother priest of mine uh father pervase from pakistan and he would come over and we'd work on english and so he's a he's a good buddy and we went over to this house and this cat like jumped up on the table and started licking the cake and they it started and it started eating the cake and that moment and the lady just tried to cut around it and she dropped a piece of cake on his on his dish and his face was so hilarious so that's that that's i guess like the only time that i'm like oh you i don't know about that um yeah everybody else i mean really for the most part uh you know pretty good pretty good food the other one is uh father leone when i visited i was just about to say that really bro yes i i visited delacroix she's a chicken freezer assignment yeah the chicken yeah oh dude that was everything man and and he was he was spanish so his day revolved around a big lunch and a nap and he was probably in his 70s uh beautiful priesthood i mean he was standing up uh for black people you know during this the southern you know issues that were going on there with racism and inequities and came in and burnt like a cross on the front of the rectory and he's like out on the street saying i am the pastor but let's uh let's back up here because i was uh you know i know this is about the priesthood but it is a funny story i i was actually stationed there you know for the summer and i worked literally right behind the church and i respected this guy enormously oh yeah and and so his big thing was lunch and you'd be there for lunch and so i wouldn't uh-huh sit at the table and he would spill food all over his he would go get the food out of the freezer and it tasted funny and and i went and looked at it and it was all like two years old i'm like what is going on and so but he would just chow down on this stuff and i remember um i made a move you know to try to tell him like hey you know i've got uh you know to to you know to work with my dad on a project and you know i'm taking my lunch break to do that and he's like no no no no you don't take lunch off you don't take much off like this is the time where we sit and talk and i'm like oh my god we both suffered i i have a very strong vivid memory of both of us suffering at the lunch table together and looking at each other but he was kind of he wasn't always aware of like what was on everybody else's plate he would just be eating food would be all over the place and uh yeah for sure for sure and napkins i don't want to i don't want to lose de la crosse's question either about uh well now i remembered it for you wrote it down so what are some of the i guess the challenges and the dangers of the priestly life that can settle in day to day what are some of the unhealthy practices that priests really have to struggle with fight against so i think i think it comes down to uh you know the the personal needs that you have and your personal needs cannot be compromised by other people's wants so what i always what i always try to differentiate between is okay is this somebody's want they want me to come over socially it's different if i'm going over to somebody's house to bless their house but i can't go over and bless their house and it's gonna take four hours or five hours to to go do that right so i try to do my my house blessings throughout the day or at lunch or maybe on the weekend so that it's i'm not occupying that amount of time because i can't respond to everybody's wants and then my own personal needs for prayer for healthy eating for exercise and for my own personal friendships like if i don't have time for that i will become my well-being my equilibrium you know my overall mental health my spiritual health will suffer so you have to you have to recognize as a priest because it's very easy especially when you're newly ordained to get sucked into everybody's wants and needs yeah so you have to differentiate from okay this person is presenting a want this person is presenting need i will respond to the needs if i can i'll respond to your wants but not at the expense of my own personal needs and you without a doubt need to have a good healthy diet a good healthy exercise plan good healthy friendships you know like you guys are i love that we get to get to get you know we get together quarterly and we get to have time together like that that means a lot to me personally because just the friendship aspect of it yeah you're outgoing you know like you're an outgoing person and so relationships for you uh are a catalyst for your your mental health that's a catalyst for your spiritual health um and it's the same way with me too you know my wife knows that i need to go out with my friends and hang out with them because you know it i come back a better father you know that i can't be locked into the home whereas some people might need just quiet time with a book or you know right right yeah like i think from a wellness standpoint now that you're mentioning that it makes a lot of sense that that the plan should be something that would revolve around what what it is that that makes you you know happy you know i think it's yeah it's really wise like you said that you have to balance your spiritual your physical health because i mean even god the father creator almighty had to take a day off didn't have to choose to right yeah that's a model that that he gave to everyone to follow and yeah if you know if your parishioners and the people who depend on you don't expect they expect more from you than they do from god they're going to be you know let down i mean you have to have like i noticed like you know we'll be talking where you haven't had a vacation in six seven months or even a day off really to speak of and you're starting to get a little frayed around the edges and i mean lord knows what i would be like if i didn't have a day or two often you know i get weekends off you don't you know so it's you know it's a little bit different um i have thank god i have friends like you you know you guys that that call me out and you know like and i still remember how many times have delacrosse like threw me in a plane and like flew me out to go hunting or fishing and you know yeah i celebrate mass but i'm gonna celebrate mass anyway and and it's just nice to have vacation time you know i do get low-key jealous when de la crosse is sending me pictures from colorado and i'm like i'm working right now but it's all good it makes i'm happy um but no like in all seriousness i'm so blessed much like you know de la crosse you the way you were describing jen jen really motivates you to go out like she knows that you come back a stronger man a stronger husband a stronger dad when you have time to to spread your wings and be free and go do different things and the same thing for my parishioners here like they do it all the time and and i am very blessed because not every priest has a blessing in their parishioners who are just saying hey father why don't you go out golfing today like why don't you go out and and go relax you know a little bit they're constantly motivating me to do that type of stuff whether i'm taking that up or not it depends but uh yeah so that's kind of like a life in the day of a priest and how easily you can work from seven o'clock in the morning till four five six o'clock seven o'clock at night and not have anything to eat and then you're eating a whole pizza by yourself you know and drinking a beer or two before you before you start winding down and that is not healthy it's very easy to happen um you know to a priest easily yeah especially when we're staying with you in your rectory on the talk show uh hey i got another question um how do you cuz like you know i mean i i guess you can liken your parish to a family um as a father uh you know i deal with conflict in different ways um you know with with different uh kids and and situations and sometimes i just lock my bedroom door and tell them to go away uh so how do you um how do you deal with conflict like because i got to come out did i just like go off we don't we lost face anymore but i could hear your voice all right wow our viewership just went up too crazy [Laughter] oh gosh yeah so i mean that's great i'm sure you don't like everyone like interpersonally that you've ever met with at your parish how do you deal with people that you don't like with that you don't like that you butt heads with or the i guess the needs and the disagreements of others our numbers are now going down because they'll grow i'm back um great question i think if you're not yeah if you're listening and delacross is going in and out of the feed um so no doubt like there's going to be personalities that you have the proclivity to like yeah i want to hang out with this person all the time i can i you know i would love to have this person around the office all the time you know but that at the same time you're also working with personalities that may actually require more time to work with and you know i can i can say that yeah there are people that are more challenging to love and and to pastorally care for than others the worst people are the people who are you know nameless and they'll send criticism in unsigned letters and they won't open up conversation or dialogue with you like those are just impossible people that you can't work with right where i actually welcome critical voices because it gives me perspective that i may not have so i actually appreciate people like that um and as you get to know people their makeup is just different than yours now would it be somebody that i'd be like hey let's go uh to texas and go on a hunting fishing trip and and go have a blast with probably not like our personalities wouldn't be wanting to do the same thing you know like like jen has to put up and and she'll has to put up as well when de la crosse and i can just talk gibberish for like three hours straight and just laugh hysterically and not make any sense at all there's not many people talking about i have no idea what you're talking about there's not many people that you could do that with but you know so it can be a challenge um and certainly i think certain other like priests may deal with that in a different way um but for me i just kind of embrace people wherever they are as best as i can um and just try to appreciate the people that are here because many of these people that at first you really like oh my gosh what a pain in the butt this this person is turns into like somebody who's very passionate about the mission of the church and and is a very good advocate um does that answer the question it does i mean i guess there's probably a lot of people out there that you should know that your priest might not like you so quit being a pain in the butt you know you know i think another question that's kind of like that is you know you have to deal with some you have to deal with the things that people tell you in confession you have to deal with a lot of people dying when people are dealing with tragedy they call you in when there's a child or a person in the prime of their life that gets is cut down young you have to deal with that you know i know like a lot of first responders and police officers they develop a lot of um psychological trauma from having to deal with the trauma of so many people right one person you have a couple traumas in your life and it's a it's a lot of baggage but first responders priests and police officers and soldiers have to deal with their own trauma and the traumas of others how do you deal with that how do you put that into perspective and how do you handle having so much kind of i guess darkness and trauma that is outside of what would normally occur to a regular person you got to have your spiritual director you know you have to have somebody you could talk to because if you're dealing with it by yourself it will it will mess with you and it will [ __ ] you especially when you're responding to abuse cases um you know like i i worked at wolfson's children hospital and the the most difficult thing to look at is when a baby is beaten by uh by a parent or by somebody and you see you know like uh you see a kid's head you know like all best up baby yeah that type of stuff will mess with you man and um and you got to be able to talk to people about that and you got to be able to process the anger you got to be able to process the you know because you start getting really um you know it messes with you you know like that type of stuff now exactly you know exactly exactly and you got you know and and he you know the two times that that happened to me they the you know the guys were in custody and stuff and horrible um you know responding to people getting killed or or you know suicide cases um those circumstances unfortunately i've been so immersed in them i've worked at the morgue i've worked in prep rooms in the funeral homes i've seen death a lot um for a long time now so i guess i don't know if i'm if i've you know accumulated a sense of familiarity with it maybe i don't know i i don't feel uncomfortable around it the thing the thing that messes with me that i've got to talk about is when people manipulate others and they and they bold face lie to them and they string them along and and they manipulate their will you know like i've had to step in uh with people pursuing other you know other people for marriage and they're manipulating their will um and they're lying or they're you know they're cheating and and you know there's a number of things like that like that really really bugs me and then i have to leave a counseling session like that to go talk with the kindergarten class in religious education you know or go visit the second graders and bring them doughnuts and try to be like hey everybody you know so it's like it could be it could be challenging like i had i had a meal it's gotta be it's just so chaotic almost to deal with you know dealing with children happy eating donuts and then you know a suicide or you know infidelity and dissolving marriages i mean that's got to be like uh almost like a spiritual car crash where you're just getting whiplash from time to time yeah there's there's days where i can adjust and and switch gears pretty quickly like you know like i i can i really feel like i'm switching gears okay meeting this next person and i have like the the discipline within myself to only to stop at empathy um which i've learned a lot if if there's any you know seminarians who i know there's a bunch of seminarian brothers that listen to the show um and there's a there's a number of people who are discerning the priesthood and discerning ministry as a way of life even if you're if you're looking at lay ministry there's a lot of lay ministers out there especially youth ministers please read the doctoral dissertation of edith stein saint teresa benedict of the cross it helped me out tremendously she wrote on the problem of empathy so that is the title of edith stein's doctoral dissertation once again on the problem of empathy you can get that at ics publications who are the official uh distributor and publisher of the works of the carmelite order so ics publications look them up and you can find that work there i know that one for sure oh that's outstanding um so you know she helped me so much because as an italian we get very emotional and we kind of lock in our heart and you know the the blended lines between empathy and compassion take over and you begin suffering with people but that's where real ministry stops when you start suffering with people you have to be on a stable ground of prayer and you know there are occasions even still after being nine years in in the clerical life of ministering to people where i still get sucked into compassion and i begin to emote you know what what's being transferred um so i have to take time i've got to go for a rosary walk i've got to go to the chapel i got to go into adoration i've got to pray my brevery or go out to the beach for a sunrise or a sunset or something and just kind of clear clear myself clear the clear the you know refocus um because it can be it can be tough man shifting uh into these different occasions but if you're prayed up and you're really in a good spot and you're receiving the eucharist and you got your breathery going well um you could shift pretty well um but when you hit trauma go to your spiritual director talk to someone even if it's just a close friend i know i have my venting sessions with uh jen and ryan when we get together yeah so i think you know shifting gears like you said about shifting gears here's a question i think maybe a little bit lighter give you an emotional break here that a lot of people have is um when do you wear your you know your collar shirt when do you wear your priestly clothes and how often do you not wear them so do you purposely not wear them when you go to the grocery store or a baseball game or a basketball game you know what do i think a lot of people think that priests wake up and every day they have the same outfit and that's it they don't even own you know a basketball jersey or whatever so you know when do you make those decisions and and do you ever try to blend in and purposely not wear the collar yeah you uh you hit the nail on the head because you know that about me i definitely have my basketball jerseys and my and my basketball shorts um so yeah i mean and you're talking you're talking to a guy you know when i went through ave maria university like i had the perspective of you know a priest should his clerics are really at that time in my life as kasich every day and you know you should be visible and there's something to say about that like without a doubt there is something something to say about that but when you start when you start ministering to people um there's an element of that that's helpful when you're wearing a collar but then at times especially in the secular world when everybody will associate your priesthood with um you know pedophilia you know drunk maybe you know um a different lifestyle that that's not good because they remember the scandal or that scandal it may not be the very very best way to begin the conversation um i definitely uh you know and you guys know this about me you know i'll put on civvies a lot when i'm going out not that i'm ashamed of my priesthood at all but i love having conversations with people that ultimately lead because we are in america that ultimately leads oh so rich what do you what do you do and i've had some of the most incredible pastoral moments in my life i've been there i've been uh to some of those i've seen it yeah and it happens to me all the time and i'm just so grateful to god because um people can just be themselves because on on the flip note like that's the negative way of looking at inter interchange out in the public on on a good note like you're walking around you know publix or whatever or grocery store like vons or or kroger or you know piggly wiggly and you're walking around and people will see you and they'll say oh good morning father good morning father good morning oh father how are you oh father good to see you and it's all father what's up or a priest hey priest what are you doing you know and it's you know it's not it it's not exchange at a deeper level it's it's very multiformal like it's very very formal it it doesn't enter into a conversational nature um one of my favorite if i could share this one story which i i really i don't think i've shared i don't even know if you guys know the story i was coming i was flying into san diego got in super super late and i picked up an uber from the airport and i hop in the uber and this guy from the moment he picked me up cursing talking to talking against you know women um just vile vile conversation and i did not say a word the entire time he just kept on talking and talking and it was vile and just nasty and horrible and in the coordinates i'm being dropped off at the church so as we pull as we pull in to the church he looks at me and he's like uh you know what do we what are we doing here i said well i live here my brother and he said um you're a priest and i said yeah he's like i'm so sorry and i said listen man i said you should probably be very mindful of how you talk to people and he says yeah i will i'm i'm sorry i said hey man i forgive you but i think this is a wonderful thing that god's provided to you tonight so god bless i'll be praying for you and have a good night and he left right so it's just like things like that that would never happen you know how many conversations have i had with people where they they say if i would have known you were a priest i would have never talked to you that happens to me all the time well i think i i think you know if if i think there's people like because i've been with you where you know we were in vegas at a convention uh that nab and national association of broadcasters broadcasters right so yeah so we're there um you know we have a we have a really good time uh and and we were at a at a i forget the name of the game but it's really cheap to play it's kind of fun you know we were hanging out with these people what card am i thinking of what's that game yeah i thought you had the casino from golette or something like that where you can bet on red or something and black i think you're right i think it was roulette and and we were just having fun i mean we weren't get we were gambling like a cheap table as a dollar bet you know and um and we we stayed there we had a lot of fun with these people and and we're leaving and it's late you know you don't realize how late it is sometimes and it's late and lo and behold i'm like looking for him hanging out with some of the other guys and gals that were there and i'm like where did where did father rich go and they're they're like he's a [ __ ] he's a priest and i'm like yeah and we look around and he's over there praying over some guy at the slot machines you know and and they're talking and and literally like the next day we go to the pool and and the pools close right i don't know why and then so we decide okay we're gonna go have a beer so we go to this bar we have a beer a friend calls me from a catholic organization and he's like hey you know i don't want to name them i don't know but uh and so i'm like yeah come see us whatever so we're talking right not even five minutes into this this guy is like just getting all into father rich to the point where i mean he was like crying you know later just because the guy was such a jerk and it was all over him not wearing his priestly garb and i'm like telling the guy like dude we were going to the pool you know like we were going to the pool so if you're one of those people and i think this is a dynamic that has changed generationally that needs some explanation because yeah there was a generation in our church that they wore genes and they were they tried to be cool and relevant and all this other garbage and i think they destroyed a lot of what the church could have built up however we're we're in a day and age where you know if if your ministry father and god's granted this to you in your ministry if you're able to reach people in this particular manner and you feel that the need to do it like who are we to tell you that you know you're you're a horrible priest for going to the pool and not going up and changing and then go you know i mean it you get to the point where there's a lot of people that have been affected by this that are still kind of hitting that drum you know i always i always think that you know obviously i think it's great when priests do wear their clerics out in public as opposed to civilian clothes but i also understand why there's times where like look i just want to have a dinner and i don't i you know need a little time off but whenever someone gets really kind of militant about it and they're like oh any priest wears you know regular clothes is you know vatican ii modernist heretic i just think of the the walk to emmaus where our lord at that you know he did not even show himself in his his resurrected form he showed himself in the form that was you know um very i guess approachable to these people and i think there's a really good analogous thought there that our lord also used kind of dressing down to be able to be a pastoral tool so you know is it is it the gardener the whole yes the you know the poor it's true the homeless man and saint martin you know there's a lot of times where our lord has appeared or allowed himself to be seen in something less than the full glory of the second person of the trinity for a reason so if you're on priests or and if you're watching you know something on youtube or this any priest who doesn't wear his collar all the time as a modernist heretic tell them to shut up shut up and you know you know what's interesting too is like many of these people have like such strong opinions about what priests should be but they wouldn't have the courage at all to become one right or a sister right now like be you know maybe you should have become a priest you know like well no information director would have them because they'd see the imbalance in their personality oh it's just it's it's crazy yeah how nasty people can be sometimes the other thing too when i lived in dc i went to bethesda with a priest for lunch you know and he was working right i mean it was like going to the parish picking him up i saw his new you know rectory in the parish he gave me oh let's go get get a bite to eat right so we're gonna get a bite to eat there there were people spitting at this guy spitting at him you know i'm like i would i wouldn't i mean after a while it would get kind of old you know for me i'd be like all right you know i'm not gonna get it and let me tell you when you go to a place where you know people are having some drinks or you're you go to a place and like people are out at a nice dinner whatever and they and they see you in your clerics i mean like you're a target right and you're gonna get sucked into a conversation that will go nowhere yep yeah and then people say oh well you need to be a heroic priest and you need to stand up and are the saints willing to be martyred that's not martyrdom come on that's that's that's uh you know that's harassment it's different you're not denying the cross harassment you know it's all right so i think one last topic is that people have asked is you know you sin you're a priest but you sin too just like everyone else does you're imperfect right um so how often do priests you know go to confession how do you manage to keep yourself in a state of grace uh what happens if a priest is not in a state of grace is in the state of moral sin but still celebrates mass you know is the the uh eucharist still valid right what are some of the scenarios around the actual the life of you know the poor sinner in the priesthood so you know my my recommendation something that i try to follow very sincerely is like every three weeks or so like every month at least um that i need to go to confession if i'm struggling and and you know i'm overcompensating because i'm going through a lot or something like that or i'm you know really challenged in some way and i'm sinning a lot more um you know i'll definitely go more frequently um and it's it's tough man i mean you have to make it a discipline to go to confession monthly because it's very very easy to get sucked into the work and then you look at the you look at the calendar and you're like it has been a month and a half it's been two months since my last confession and i'm sure there's brothers out there right now that have that have it's they haven't been a confession in years you know or maybe it's a full year and they don't go until the retreat you know we have annual retreats i'm sure there's guys out there that that you know especially when it comes to the inner workings of the apostles you know saying who's the greatest you know there could be a lot of of in inner kind of uh you know turmoil where it's like do you want to ask your neighboring priest to go to confession you know um for me i'm very blessed i've got a couple of priests that i i absolutely love and i so do some priests maybe avoid going to confession because they don't want to you know for political reasons allow the neighboring priests i don't know i don't want to go to my i don't want to go to my brother you know uh in my own diocese like some guy and that's cool man like you know i understand that just go like go go to your neighboring diocese develop friendship with the guy in the in the neighboring diocese because yeah maybe some of your sinfulness is related to the prosperity that you're in that's very likely i mean very likely so when you're saying all priests don't get along with each other we are human we are very human um no i mean like that's that's life man it's life it's the people you work closest with you're going to be critical of the thing you're most passionate about right so you're going to fall into those pack pockets you got to go to confession right humble yourself maybe go to a brother priest that you know you'd be humble but you know like when timmy and i get together we go to confession to each other you know like he's such a good brother um you know there's there's other brothers outside of the diocese that i feel very very comfortable with you know going to confession um i just think it's a it's a different it's like i always think of the the story of jp2 you know i'm going to show you a picture dave too hello father richard so so john paul you know like with that priest that lost his faculties and he's like begging outside of the church and jp two finds out about him and he brings him up to the papal apartment and has him hear his confession like that's just man what a saint yeah really i never heard that story oh it's such a cool story so you know yeah like we've we've got to humble ourselves you know think about having to sit there and listen to the pope's uh confession like i i think sometimes like what if bishop estevez came to confession to me mike you know i'd kind of feel i kind of feel a little nervous you know you know it's it's just human it's human stuff but i know especially as it relates to our sinfulness ecclesiastes the holy spirit the church will provide the holy spirit provides you know and and you know in these circumstances i just think it's best that we humble ourselves and avail ourselves to the regularity of the sacrament of reconciliation right now i'm in need of going to confession i'm trying to nail down some time with our boy father tetlow so i can get to confession he's my regular go-to um but yeah yeah that's i would definitely and since we're on sacraments uh then he wants to know he's a first holy communicant here i got to hear his first confession too that's pretty cool yeah that's pretty cool um he wants to know when when transubstantiation occurs is there a zap in your fingers that you can feel [Laughter] there there are moments where you are drawn into the mystical yeah but it happens at different it happens at different moments it's like whenever i celebrate baptism i'll be at a moment where i've never been so deeply hit um and then i'll just start tearing up and and i'll just be so present mystically to what god's doing same thing at mass my sacristan who knows me very very well big shout out to our patreon uh christian orazarus christian knows me so well he immediately he's like he's like you were really hit very deeply there that happened and he'll like ask me about it you know and then i'll open up my heart and just say like yeah i you know when i extended my hands or at this part of the eucharistic prayer yeah it just became so clear you know and and uh so different times uh certainly at the epiclesis when i extend my hands over the gifts i haven't i haven't felt zaps yet but i have been moved very deeply in the holy spirit um when the parish came open saint john paul ii where i'm now the pastor when i received an email transmission that this parish came open i was in san antonio preaching a mission and i was discerning like is god calling me to the mission fields of being online and and you know going around and doing these missions out of shape that we were golfing that week and i remember uh yeah you were you were not carrying your end of the golf course man because you're you're all you're on discernment like thinking about what are you doing delacroix i know it i couldn't stop doing i know i feel bad for you guys because you have to deal with my extroverted discernment and i'm like what do i do yeah well i was just upset because you were all discerning and talking about whether you should be a missionary or a pastor and de la crosse has spoken us in golf [Applause] delacrosse has this unbelievable ability to just tune everything out and just like hyper focus on golf yeah very very good he really does that's called it's called booze so so yeah i when i opened up that email i had like an electrical shock through my spine dude i just knew that i needed to put my name in for for this parish i'm so blessed to be here um so yeah there's moments like that for sure where you just really feel zapped by the lord um and directed and influenced certainly certainly so then the last part of that question is what happens if a priest is not though in a state of grace are the sacraments that he um performs are those still valid ecclesiastes right the church supplies and that same in that same respect they're they're the efficacy and the substance of transubstantiation like the the effective body blood soul and divinity of jesus christ is still there even though a priest may be celebrating immortal sin or really completely doubting the presence of jesus look how many eucharistic miracles have taken place with people who have doubted at the altar and jesus transformed not only through transubstantiation but literally a transformation of the accidents of the presence of jesus christ under the appearance of bread and wine yeah exactly the accents of the actual bread turn to true flesh and blood so check out eucharistic miracles if you've never heard that before type in eucharistic miracles in google there's some awesome books out there lanciano is one there's another one in kosher italy um where you know a priest took the host and he was going to visit a sick person just kind of threw jesus into his bravery not into a pics not with any type of reverence and you know it it turned the pages to blood um that the host was next to and it transcended it the accidents changed to flesh and blood and is on display in the church of saint rita underneath in the tomb area really really powerful but there's eucharistic miracles all over the place brazil all over the world that have happened throughout time and are still on display and have been scientifically analyzed and show that they're all of the same blood type and of the same tissues of the heart of the main aorta of the heart which is pretty fascinating stuff that they would all all over the world be that same type of tissue in that same blood we should do this we have we have five unbelievable but true miracles i will put a link right you were zoned you were zoned in you're zoned into golf on that on that day it's gonna be right here click this little button right here remember remember remember the time though we were in la and we were in the middle of a show and you were watching baseball the entire time that was a boring show you guys talk too much [Laughter] no man like i think we could do one on the the heart i don't know if we did one on that specific miracle or not we did we covered lanciana you were watching baseball it was the season when the astros were cheating their way to the title but on a show all right uh so you know hey before we close out uh a couple things number one um all of our patrons we really appreciate it uh if you go to patreon.com forward slash catholic talk show or catholic talk show forward slash patreon you go to the same place and you'll find all the ways that you can support us there's a lot of really cool gifts there's hoodies coffee cups stickers all kinds of cool things we really appreciate it when you do and we can't do the show without you so thank you to all of our uh patreon members it means everything to us also go to catholictalkshow.com make sure you subscribe to us there you can enter our mailing list you can follow us on social media like facebook instagram and twitter uh if you're watching on youtube make sure you click that subscribe button like this video and make sure you subscribe uh that way you'll be notified anytime there's a new video it really helps us um but i think the last thing that i wanted to cover though father rich is real briefly what are what is the worst thing about being a priest and what is the best thing about being a priest the lacrosse is gone um they focus um the worst thing and the best thing this is a tough inquisition question here well the best thing in all honesty is being at the altar together and celebrating the eucharist like that that's without a doubt better be that that the source and summit of our faith that is most certainly the best thing being together at the altar um the worst thing though that's a tough one or the hardest thing maybe not maybe worse oh challenging thing yeah maybe the most challenging yeah i don't want to say the worst thing because that's maybe a negative framing of the question what's the most challenging thing about being a priest yeah i think i think fundraising is tough like you know we've got we've got like a huge debt to the diocese that we've got to cover and we're becoming a parish which means that we're going to be taxed and and it's like forecasting all of that and and trying to grow and like you know maintain the important things but at the same time we're bursting at the seams and we're growing past our capacity and i'm by myself so i'm just like you know how do we how do we build out this campus so that we can manage the amount of people that are coming here to be fed so that that's pretty i think that goes right back to the apostles too they're like man we got we got 5 000 people here and how are we going to feed them no oh no you know exactly exactly even the first you know the first pastors those first priests those the apostles they've dealt with that same thing so i don't think that's really went away that's very that's very consoling to put that in the context that way because you know just trusting in the miraculous hand of god and and i've seen the miraculous hand of god come to our community so often and saint joseph manifesting his hand in huge ways and our lady so you know we have we have seen some major challenges in every single you know my first year christmas we can't have mass inside so we build this huge tent and then the flood waters come and then we have to you know take care of the flood waters prep for christmas most beautiful christmas ever you know coronavirus sets in my first lent in easter is shut down and we've got to pivot and go online and come up with beautiful ways to minister to people i mean it's just been non-stop so those have been super challenging uh experiences um but i love a challenge man um so i mean i always think priests that are coming up right now that are in your position you know first time pastors young priests it's almost like people who grew up in the great depression then went off and had to fight world war ii and they ended up being called the greatest generation because their formative years were so challenged there's so many things thrown at them that they were forced to become more adaptive and stronger willed and more disciplined so hopefully the same thing is happening to the priests who are coming of age now who had to deal with the sexual abuse crisis they had to deal with coronavirus and their churches being closed they had to deal with uh you know less people coming to mass they had to deal with all these things so maybe hopefully like it did with you know the american generation maybe this generation will be one of those great generations of priests because of it i i would agree with you because that's how it's proven itself every historical generation that went through a challenge or a plague or you know some of the most impressive saints have been drawn up from the grassroots level in response to uh struggles within the church or tensions or evil or you know hypocrisy or or heresy um the saints have come you know by by way of god nurturing them through the negative through the via negativa to recognize and boldly uh go at these challenges and and i definitely look at my brother priests and sisters out there that are responding they're an inspiration and they're such an inspiration to me and i love seeing what they're doing um so keep that up and i have to share wonderful news a number of years back we started a program called in persona christie and we had like next to no seminarians in our diocese at that time and we had a good ouch outpouring of people's interests and we had a first wave of guys that radically transformed the culture of being a seminarian in the diocese of saint augustine but in the context of everything we have faced from the sexual abuse crisis to coronavirus just a few weeks back before the beginning of the year we had a record number of guys that are down to earth just regular guys open to the call of the priesthood over 41 or 43 guys attended that retreat and the largest number we've ever had so and a number of them are already pursuing and becoming uh seminarians for our diocese we're praying for the same thing in and around the the country right now because i think people are really seeing that you know there's something in the church and and there's you know when there's a lack in society and there's a breakdown in society when there's division and and heartbreak and and heartache even in the church and the division in the church you know it's going to crop up with a new generation of people that are going to mend the differences and to heal the wounds yeah i think it was basic bishop jenki of peoria that said the time for casual catholicism is over and now it's really a call to heroic catholicism because there's really no other options now there's no real you can't really be a casual catholic today it just doesn't really work you're kind of dissolving nothing like that especially with the cult of the priesthood it's not just like well you know every second or third son the family has just gets sent off to the priesthood because they don't have economic opportunities i mean men and women who join religious uh orders and on calls really have to want it so really i do pray for a great generation of uh of religious and priests and consecrated yeah they'll just first come they are getting much more involved too i remember being in the seminary many years ago and there wasn't a lot of outreach and lay ministers and there are some people with books and your karapi and your han but now it's just like i mean just in fusadi like we see all these amazing people doing these amazing things um and it's just it's just starting to you know roll and it's good it's a good thing you know well father rich i really you know i think everyone who watched this is very grateful that you were able to open up share some of the kind of realistic things that happened with the priest some of the real struggles some of the things that are dark and then some of the joys and some of the levity especially young men considering the priesthood uh really watch this video uh if you have questions um you know your vocation director will will help you but there's some realities to being a priest that very few things can prepare you for besides the live experience and father rich really thank you for sharing that i think it's going to be very helpful to people to understand what their priest is going through so that they can support their priestly vocation as a lay person and then people who are discerning can have a maybe a more first-hand look at it so thank you very much and you know to to everybody out there and i really appreciate those words shield um you know if you are out there and you're discerning a call to the priesthood or the religious life just hear the words of jp2 who lived so courageously and heroically in his own generation and think about how the challenges he faced through nazism and communism and you know his whole family you know passing away and him being by himself like really left an orphan and uh but you know be not afraid be not afraid to be intrepid witnesses of the gospel of jesus christ it is a beautiful call and if you feel a stirring in the power of the spirit and god is speaking to your heart to explore it do not hesitate go and haste and respond to that call you know yeah are there challenges of course is there darkness that you wrestle with is the darkness of your own personal sin something you wrestle with yeah but don't you want to be in that fight because the victory of christ is well worth the fight and when you get to see him winning when you see his victory and that you are participating in that fight there is nothing more beautiful to be a part of so please please pray my brothers and sisters if you're married if you're a listener or a viewer of our content please please pray for young people to consider the call to the priesthood and the religious life if you're you know a couple newly married and you haven't had kids yet start having kids have seven eight nine ten kids have a bunch of kids glorify god with your fruitfulness and i'm sure if you are faithful before god god is most certainly going to be faithful to you and i'm sure he's going to bless the church with a number of young men and women to be called to the priesthood and religious life through your fruitfulness through your faith and uh we need our catholics to respond in that way not to just send off the kids to the convent or to the diocese or anything like that but to cultivate kids that discern god's call for their life and we are all called to greatness so i pray for each of you please pray for us and we thank you for your support of the show and we'll see you next week god bless [Music] you

Channel: The Catholic Talk Show

Views: 53,010

Rating: 4.9083171 out of 5

Keywords: Catholic, Catholic Podcast, Catholic Talk Show, Ryan Scheel, Ryan DellaCrosse, Father Rich Pagano, Catholic Radio, Catholic TV, Catholic Show, Taylor Marshall, Matt Fradd, Mike Schmitz, Robert Barron, Catholic Answers, Catholic Stuff You Should Know, Church Militant, Bishop Barron, Breaking In The Habit, Father Pagano, Ryan Shiel

Id: 7zQ8t2WfVnc

Length: 70min 40sec (4240 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 07 2020