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[Music] would i be the if i don't go to my daughter's wedding about 10 years ago a close friend of our daughters came out as gay this friend in particular slept over our house so much that she was almost like a daughter to us we even had a separate bed in our daughter's bedroom just for her when we found out that she was gay my husband and i had a discussion about whether we should continue to let her sleep in our daughter's bedroom or if we should just move her into the guest bedroom we were hesitant but we had a conversation with our daughter who was 17 at the time and she told us that if her friend tried anything she would shut it down because she is straight it made sense we believed our daughter was trustworthy and responsible and so we allowed the friend to continue sleeping in her room nothing seemed out of the ordinary they finished senior year and went off to college we never suspected anything every time they would come home for the holidays my daughter brought a boy with her and my daughter's friend brought a girl with her come to find out that the boy that we thought was our daughter's boyfriend was actually dating the girl that we thought our daughter's friend was dating and the way we found out is because one day i get an invitation in the mail to a wedding for our daughter and her friend i was so confused i called my daughter immediately thinking that there has to be some kind of typo or something there was no answer i called a friend and i asked her what's going on before the friend breaks down crying and confesses that her and my daughter have been in a relationship for a decade which was around the time that we agreed to let her sleep in our daughter's room my husband and i feel so betrayed my daughter then gets on the phone and says mom dad i know you're upset and i promise we'll talk about it after the wedding and i'll explain everything i said okay we'll talk after the wedding and then i hung up the next day she calls me i pick up and say why are you calling me i thought you didn't want to talk to me until after the wedding she said we are but i wanted to know what times you'll be available so that we can get measured for our dresses i said what do you mean we you don't think that your father and i are going to the wedding do you you lied to us for 10 years for no reason and do you expect us to just automatically disregard that we'll talk after the wedding like you said then i hung up the phone and i haven't talked to my daughter since then and the wedding is sometime this month my husband and i have been getting a lot of calls from family members on both sides telling us that we're being selfish for ruining our daughter's special day over something that happened 10 years ago but she lied to us and i am not gonna let that go does that make me an am i the for not going to my daughter's 16th birthday this happened a month ago but my daughter still isn't talking to me so i decided to ask here i have two daughters from two different relationships e female 14 and r female 16. ara lives in another city with her mom i only have her in the summers and on holidays e lives with me full time as her mom passed away a few years ago e and r don't really get along at all when they're both with me they try to avoid each other as much as they can and they barely spend any time together the girl's birthdays are two weeks apart i was talking to r about her birthday party and she was very excited and couldn't stop talking about it at the end of our call she told me that she was going to have her birthday two weeks after the real day which meant that it would be on the same day as e's birthday i reminded her that that was e's birthday and asked her if there was any reason why she can't have her party on her actual birthday or the weekend or even the next week or i don't know any other day besides that day she didn't have a good reason she only said that she wanted it to be that day i tried to convince her to change the day but she wouldn't change her mind i asked if she would change her plans so that we could celebrate her birthday another day but she refused so i called r and told her that i'm not going unless she changes the date because one she could choose any day and she knew that it was e's birthday two e wasn't invited and i thought it was very cruel of her to leave her alone on her birthday and three because this way they would each have one parent with them which would be fair she started screaming at me and called me an for choosing e over her now i'm starting to feel bad because it is her 16th birthday so i know it's a milestone to her but i still think that i made the right choice but both are and her mom disagree so am i the am i the for making my daughter share her presence with my stepdaughter i 40 female was a single mother to my daughter amy 15 female i came out three years ago and married my wife jenna 42 female last year she has a daughter nora 13 female and we all live together as i have full custody of my daughter it was kind of hard for her to adjust having a second mom but they get along well the girls have their birthdays very close only two days apart so we decided to have a joint birthday party for both of them since noora had a hard time making new friends they moved in with us and she's very shy most of my family lives out of the country so the gifts were sent a week early it was a huge bag with at least 20 gifts the party was nice and we opened the bag at night once everyone left jenna handed out the presents as she took them out after 12 gifts in a row were just for amy i checked the bag and froze to see that there was only one gift for nora and it was from my parents she pretended it wasn't a big deal but as she opened the present i saw her eyes drop it was a 15 tumbler from walmart not to sound ungrateful but amy's gifts were much more expensive multiple gift cards each over a hundred dollars new phone limited edition funkos designer clothes and lots of cards wishing her a happy birthday needless to say i blew up the family chat calling out my parents siblings and extended family who sent gifts and not considered nora at all i called my parents out for sending nora some cheap gift and no one took me seriously they said it's not our duty to give gifts to someone else's kid and amy deserved them since i didn't even throw her her own birthday party then they put emphasis on the fact that jenna and nora are my problem and not theirs nora was clearly her since it's not the first time that my family has left her out that night i asked amy to share some of her gifts with her stepsister not all of them just a couple of gift cards and some of the new clothes amy refused this surprised me since she never had a problem with sharing and even though she and nora aren't bffs they usually really get along after asking her why amy started crying saying that she never wanted a joint birthday party and that i forced her to share everything with nora they share a room for space and i make sure they're both invited to the same parties and sleepovers but that's just because i don't want nora to feel left out if they don't invite both of them then neither of them can go amy stated that she at least wanted her own gifts to be hers alone i scolded her for being selfish with her stepsister and then i grounded her and i took a couple of the presents and i gave him to nora anyways nora turned down all the gifts because she said that she didn't want problems with amy and it felt like pity gifts since then amy has been cold to all of us i just wanted my two girls to be closer with the joint party and just to have some of the same things am i the and just for clarification jenna and i bought gifts for both of the girls they both got their own tablets and nora also received gifts from her extended family but they also sent gifts for amy as well am i the for not spending time with my daughter i 36 male have three children 12 male 14 male and 16 female i spend most of my time with the boys fishing going on trips with them and their friends etc a lot of times they even sit around with me and my friends when we're at the campfire we spend a lot of time together bonding as father and sons but my daughter does not i take my boys to clubs like hockey american football and basketball i asked my daughter if she would like to join some clubs too but she declined and i said fine by me my daughter always asked me to do things like practice makeup fashion etc i have no interest instead i like things like football fishing and building things i frequently visit home depot with my boys because we're always working on projects like one time we built a cabin my daughter comes around asking me to come shopping with her which i find unimaginably boring so i pass on her offer my boys hate going shopping with their mother and sister but they love the things that i do with them so whenever their mother isn't forcing them to come with her they always stay with me and we always have a good time i've asked my daughter multiple times to come but she always refuses the last few weeks she's been asking me to spend time with her but she never does anything that would interest me all she does with me is show me new clothes talk about tv shows and just typical teenage girl stuff i'm not interested in things like hair and nails so i rarely spend time with her last week she asked me to do something with her and i refused i think this was the last straw in her book because she was furious she started calling me out saying that i never spend time with her and that i love her brothers more than i love her which is definitely not true i reassured her that i love her and her brothers equally but she does not care she doesn't believe me and she will not listen to what i have to say she asked me to try doing things that she likes for a change and i explained to her that i'm just not interested in that my wife also caught me out on this when i told my friends they told me that it was just a phase and that their daughters did the same thing which honestly that calmed me down a bit but my daughter is avoiding even talking to me at all now i feel really bad am i the am i the for refusing to choose between my daughters my husband and i have two daughters erica 23 female and sarah 25 female much to my disappointment they've never gotten along even as kids they were always fighting i had always hoped that they would grow out of it but it just never happened i've tried very hard to encourage them to grow together as it was always my wish for them to be best friends and take care of each other when i'm gone nothing worked and they seemed bent on hating each other for some backstory when sarah moved out for college she stopped talking to erica entirely this seemed really harsh to me and i told her that during this time i grew closer with erica because she was still at home and sarah seemed to want nothing to do with us we were both hurt by sarah's actions when erica went to college sarah seemed to make an effort to get along with her and i was really excited but then something happened sarah said that erica was bullying her and so she blocked her on the phone erica told me that sarah had blocked her so i texted sarah demanding to know why sarah said that erica was name-calling and blowing up her phone i told sarah that she needed to get over it because family is family and you can't just block family for no reason it seemed very immature to me and i was really annoyed it's been about two years and sarah hasn't had a relationship with erica since every time i see sarah i try to remind her that erica loves her and i remind her of the realities of the situation that sarah is successful and erica just gets jealous sometimes sarah always seems really upset when i bring up erica at all and she gets super moody well now sarah is getting married at sarah's engagement party to which erica isn't invited which really disappointed me i told sarah that erica was happy for her but it was hard for her having her sister be successful like this sarah seemed annoyed and brushed me off since the party i've been trying to get a straight answer from sarah as to whether erica is invited to the wedding i brought it up a few times when sarah was talking about the wedding and she just ignored me eventually she snapped at me saying that she hasn't had a relationship with erica in many years and she didn't know why i would expect her to be there i was horrified in my view sarah's childish vengeful antics have gone way too far you just don't treat family like this not inviting them to your wedding my heart is broken as i wanted them to take care of each other and i don't know why they refuse to do so i want nothing to do with the wedding at this point i'll attend but i have no desire to help a daughter who treats family like this i feel like sarah is just asking me to choose between her and her sister and i want nothing to do with it my husband thinks i might be being a little bit too harsh but erica agrees with my decision so am i the for refusing to pick between my daughters by not supporting my oldest daughter's decision and not inviting her sister to her wedding

Channel: Resinate By Chanel

Views: 44,362

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Id: SN778uCYw8U

Length: 12min 49sec (769 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 24 2022