Remember When Microsoft Lied to Us?

I have brought you here today to tell you the most serious story I have ever told it is the highest stakes it includes deceit it lies mistruths things that are not true wrong 'yes i stayed silent on this for a very long time and i just need to come clean to everybody so you guys remember when microsoft just lied to like all of us ConExpo movement and sound in barry gateway [Music] that can recognize us you can only lies our faces he can recognize our voices he can recognize emotions [Music] [Music] it's a little bit about videogames or a lot about videogames but you can still enjoy this video if you're not a nerd I enjoy video games and I'm not a nerd as well as you can see from my physique and good looks in order for me to tell this story we need to go back in time so I have invented a time machine when I crack this non alcoholic seltzer the wink means it's alcoholic we will go back to the year of 2009 here we go whoa whoa Jason Derulo pre cats 2012 Obama 2010 Obama whoa is that Ke$ha and the Black Eyed Peas and Lil Wayne and I'm just remembering musicians right now and here we are the year of 2009 in June of 2009 I was 12 going on 13 you know my prime and I was more into video games than ever I had just gotten into watching III III is a convention where up until recently every summer Sony Microsoft Nintendo and all the game companies would come to one stage and show everything they had for the upcoming years and III of 2009 blew my [ __ ] mind like no other year I was sitting in my Midwestern basement with my friends and my brother Tony shot Tony love you and Microsoft introduced something called the Xbox project natal before we discuss project natal and why I was betrayed and I have trust issues because of this one summer I need to give you a quick backstory of Xbox up until this point so here we go the year is 2000 won and Bill Gates meets Master Chief for the first time he's like yo yo so the original Xbox comes out and it's fine you know it's got halo and halo 2 Xbox Live you got broadband internet which is pretty cool I guess it had a little competitor called the [ __ ] PlayStation 2 I don't know the best-selling console of all time sorry sweetie goodbye sweetie sorry so the next generation comes along and Xbox 360 decides to come out a year before the ps3 it's $300 and $400 for the two models playstation thinking they're on top of the world from the ps2 decides to introduce a 500 and 600 dollar console in 2006 adjusted for inflation now that is seven hundred and sixty seven dollars yes it had a blu-ray player yes it had better graphics than the 360 but you can't ask your mom to buy you a $767 console she's gonna say no unless your parents would get that for you and then you were [ __ ] spoiled [ __ ] you Xbox swoops in on this opportunity destroys the PlayStation in sales hits you at Halo 3 Gears of War 2 a bunch of other games there on top of the world and they can't lose but wait PlayStation is starting to put out good games in their marketing their console as a lower price than it was but I thought Bill Gates won I thought Bill Gates was the winner now during this time everyone's losing their [ __ ] mind playing Wii bowling with their family but they're starting to want better and better motion controls and good thing because Xbox is working on something but here's the thing it [ __ ] sucks and rumors are circulating that PlayStation has motion controls and they're really good so III 2009 is nearing closer and closer and everybody is waiting to see whose motion controls are better Xbox is already losing ground to ps3 Bill Gates is just yelling in his office with the doors closed just scream they can't afford to look lesser than ps3 right now and now you're all caught up so Xbox comes to e3 2009 and motion controls are blowing the [ __ ] up like I said so my dumbass 12 year old self and my dumbass 12 year old brother and my dumbass 12 year old friends are all huddled around the TV as Xbox unveils Project Paul it's the controller of the future it's a camera that senses your whole body you no longer need your stupid [ __ ] fingers on a controller because your body is the controller at the time the only motion controls we had were the Wii controllers will you just kind of shook it and Xbox is coming out saying we can track your entire body will know your face will know your voice we're the highest tech ship to ever come out in video games and being the twelve-year-old dumbass that I was I believed them and during this Microsoft lied and lied and lied and we're gonna look at each one of them so here it is lie number one I'd like you to meet a boy Kumail oh now I wanted to start with a thing called Milo because it was the thing that shocked me the most when they showed the Kinect aka project natal at the time science fiction writers film makers they haven't imagined what we're able to do today we've been experimenting with something here I'd like you to meet a boy called Milo he's a character that can recognize us he can recognize our faces he can recognize our voices he can recognize emotions in us now you might be thinking did I hear that correctly they made a virtual boy there's a boy in there I love how he says science fiction writers have never even thought of [ __ ] like this it's a computer boy and I'll have to say yeah they did there's a lot of AI characters in science fiction pre 2009 they haven't even dreamed of Milo a virtual boy that you are friends with as an adult and this is Claire she's going to introduce you tomorrow I am my life how you doing hi Claire you okay actually I'm a bit nervous I don't believe this is the first time that thousands of evil are gonna see this thousands of people here we're saying Claire being recognized and the emotion in Claire's voice being recognized and that emotion reflecting in Milo's face now what he is is not possible even now it's just not in a video game you can write a really advanced AI that could you know recognize what you're saying sure and respond but not voice acted by the voice actor that's why you know Siri is a digital voice they don't have the time or the money or the imagination to record that much so this is already [ __ ] always thinking today you should let me beat you at football again that is if you finished your homework you have finished your school projects what happened there is that Claire knew - oh well she knew what he was worried about something Oh Milo and Claire are just BFFs and she detected something was wrong he showed it completely but also again this is just so acted if you don't watch III stuff every single year companies lie about their video games they show fake versions of the product because it's not done yet the problem with this one is that they're having a voiceover from the creator of the game tell you that everything's real while they're faking it so then Claire continues to talk to Milo and they cut to this clip of her putting her hands in the water and splashing around with her reflection there Claire is in tomorrow's world she's in that pond it's all fake everything about Milo is fake I know that because it never came out it was just [ __ ] they clearly made a fake pipe dream product when pitching the Kinect so people thought it was capable of more things than it was and if you're thinking that's kind of a stretch you're putting words in their mouth why don't we check an IGN interview with the creator of the game two years ago it was a disaster on it was a train wreck it started as this device which kind of could do everything itself yeah I didn't take up on any processor power the field of view was was you know could encompass a whole room right yeah it ended up being none of those things it ended up being a device which was you had to sit in a very small lock together and as you said the promise is so big yeah you don't have to say anything you just think oh my god Mike you know my console can see me right that's the promise but the actual delivery of that promise fell so far short so they seem to have lied to the developers as well it was just not capable of the things they were promising but they were showing us all anyway like it was that is [ __ ] up also the game never came out so is Milo still in there do we need to go get is he okay you can't just build a Virtual Boy meant to have friends and then leave them in there the whole time it is Milo like 27 is he all right 100 hours ago this drum began to beat to signal the beginning of something new all right so you're an executive at Microsoft specifically Xbox and you've just put millions of dollars into new tech that kind of sucks logically the next thing to do is pay for a Cirque du Soleil collaboration and air it on g4 everyone I'm Jeff Keely and over the next half hour you're about to experience a spectacular one-of-a-kind performance inspired by the idea of controller free entertainment as imagined by the Masters of live entertainment - Cirque du Soleil nothing will get the kids excited like French gymnast doing weird arts I actually really likes her to slay it's really cool but kids don't really care about it okay maybe the kids don't want to French gymnast well we could hire the cast of iCarly except for you know icarly cuz we can't afford it from icarly and victorious okay that seems to work what do kids like other than iCarly Billy Crystal I like to play these games and but now to play without a controller look down to figure out what button do i press when oh wait kids don't like Billy Crystal if it's not Mike Wazowski they don't know who he is but we already paid him okay well it's happening now so we just have to let it happen I guess how much did this cost we've been talking about this for a year now and the time for talk is over let me introduce you to six Kinect launch games the world's going to be playing this holiday these are all experiences that can only be played without a controller and are only available on the Xbox 360 [Music] one of the games that they were trying to pitch at the time was called kinectimals it was also a virtual friend but this one was a pet you could have a pet tiger or other ones I don't remember so here's the trailer that they pre filmed for Kinectimals [Music] looks nice right you can pet animals and have fun it's like Nintendogs but with your real human hands they had to do a live demo and you can't do a live demo for something that doesn't work so what Xbox did for this and many games you're about to see is they pre-recorded the game footage and then they hired actors to fake play it in front of an entire stage and live stream of people [Music] [Music] that we have this bizarre thing of Xbox hiring this little girl to pretend to play with a fake pet that isn't a real functioning game at this point they can pretend like it's [ __ ] and then sell you a product that was [ __ ] is that allowed is why is that okay one look at that water we can go anywhere okay Kinect Adventures was supposed to be the Wii Sports of the Kinect it was just a bunch of minigames that you could play and it would track your whole body and you could play with friends so here is Xboxes trailer for Kinect Adventures [Music] [Music] so after seeing that gameplay I want to introduce you to one of my favorite videos failed Xbox 360 Kinect Adventures live Macy's demo video [Music] so obviously it didn't work and I think that's enough of showing you that the tech never worked but I believed all of it I believed every single thing they said at one point they showed a trailer where there was a kid who was riding a skateboard and he went home and he picked up and he scanned his skateboard and then it was in the game that game not only doesn't exist but my idiot self didn't notice that his fingers weren't even in the scan and my brother is also a dumbass and so are my friends I bought into it because I was a dumb child this is why these companies can't advertise like this because I haven't shared in the video yet guess who bought a Kinect this [ __ ] loser I don't care if it doesn't apply to you it matters to me I was lied to and I demand an apology from Xbox Bill Gates I demand to speak to your manager Phil Spencer CEO of Xbox send me an edible arrangement and we're good so to close out this video part of it is something that I say in almost all of my older videos I haven't been saying it much lately but again if you advertise poorly when you know there are kids in the audience you're gonna trick them my parents wasted a hundred and twenty dollars to try and make my brother and I happy and Xbox kind of ruined my birthday so thanks mom thanks dad [ __ ] you Bill Gates you probably had nothing to do with this but [ __ ] you so thank you guys for watching there will not be the distance between uploads between this one and the last one also my merch store is currently down I'm switching some stuff up so sorry about that merch we'll be back better than ever soon and now a word from our sponsor Hey this episode is sponsored by raking Thank You rake on everybody say thank you what's that oh hello Ray J from music and the thing that you know Ray J you have a secret to tell me weird what's that Rane Khan earbuds started about half the price of any other premium wireless earbuds on the market daddy that's nuts get out of here and they sound just as amazing as other top audio brands you know their latest model the e 25 is their best one yet with six hours of playtime seamless bluetooth pairing more bass and a compact design that gives you a nice noise isolating fix Ray J come on man it also comes in new fun colors Ray J come on man that sound that's too good alright actually dumb bit aside I use my ray cons everyday and I have since I got them a couple of months I think back in November I run with them everyday they're [ __ ] awesome like actually I don't like that your your buds that are hard they don't fit with my ear right and I love plugs and Ray cons are just good they actually are somebody who just started leaf blowing outside but gonna buy Raycom slash Eddie for 15% off your order they're good headphones go get them go do it that's it for the video that's one wave goodbye that's two-way goodbyes you're still on the video that's three wave goodbyes I'm waiting again and you're not gone what do you do this is five five or six I lost trapped here's to it once get the [ __ ] out [Music] Thank You Derek Justin carry the herdsman Barnard Gabrielle Tom Mallory Anthony Laura the hanging judge Olivia Sarah Nick bran the raisins Mel Jonathan Joaquin Cheech Olivia alabanza rora Dave and Janet Amanda Reece Diana Megan Nietzsche bond Hayley Jackie Josie Alex Lisa cyber case Chelsey Brandon Ezra Malin Peter Carr rack player and Shelby Diddy Mallory Gerard Kelsey Brandon Sean Anthony Lauren Kyra Charlotte Ethan and Leonardo thank you guys so much

Channel: Eddy Burback

Views: 1,016,441

Rating: 4.9445524 out of 5

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Id: NuGrbQq2lAk

Length: 20min 37sec (1237 seconds)

Published: Wed Feb 19 2020