Reading Hilariously Terrible Business Reviews From My Small Town

I don't want to clean I just want to temporarily solve my issues they call me babe driver and I think back on all the crap I learned in high school dude oh dude oh dude take all the world's a sunny day oh yeah we are at the desk today [Music] as many of you know I come from a small Wisconsin town of about a thousand people it's a peaceful little town and not a lot is going on but but there are businesses there recently just out of curiosity I googled a couple of the small businesses in my tiny little town and I found that each one only has a handful of reviews of all the reviews that I found I started noticing a trend yes we did find in transmitting so today I ask that you join me in harmony as we look at some of the best reviews left by a lot of the people in my small town it's real quick come here closer before we get going I just want to mention that this video is sponsored by Nord VPN huge thank you to Nord go to Nord VPN dot-com / Gus Johnson use coupon code Gus Johnson you get 66% off of a two-year plan that's a hell of a deal but we'll hear more from them later first we got to do some memes ok Thank You Nord now I noticed a few trends with these reviews it seemed that most reviews were left by one of three types of people very old people who don't really seem to know what they're doing or what they're saying or where they're leaving their review they just want to be involved with the community very disgruntled local people who were looking to take shots at businesses or townspeople that have wronged them or very disappointed tourists who were not pleased with their small town stocks so let's take a trip down memory lane and look at some of the little old reviews that were left on these small town businesses let's pop on down to the only thing that puts our town on the map the subway local guide Todd writes good people friendly service burnt my house down and blamed my 10 year old logistics yeah good people friendly service burnt my house down and blamed my 10 year old autistic son he was interrogated by siren police officer had no counsel or parent present woe to you chief Trevor [Applause] you're all crooked cops evildoers whoa - your name's this town needs new cops people can just from todd a place what does this have anything to do a subway my theory is that Todd was just trying to think okay I was wrong by the police department where can i air my grievances so the most people can see this corrupt system I'm going to the subway reviews pay also I love that at the end of that scathing review there's nothing to do a subway he still has the gumption to give it five stars well that won't set the bar pretty high so judging by this profile picture here Sean looks to be in his mid to late 20s maybe even his 30s Sean chimes in with a glowing five-star review of subway that says the young blonde girl was very polite and professional assemble sandwiches quickly and thanked me and told me to come again she couldn't have been over 17 years but the [ __ ] that's the creepiest thing I've ever seen can you guys believe it I went in the subway I just want to get a sandwich and this this young blonde girl couldn't been more than 17 her skin was so supple and and white I finally understand what it means to eat fresh Rakesh says they say five-dollar footlong but sell it for $7 five stars Jerry says three stars it's a subway what are you gonna do on my right fellas hashtag just subway things now let's take a look at my high school my high school has two reviews on Google and I gotta tell ya my mind is split Colin says terrible school one star but then Alya comes in and says it's a good school five stars is it a good school only time will tell let's take a peek at our small town hospital Anthony says one star ruined our family and medical bills messed up my son's circumcision and he had to go into surgery at another ER in Minnesota to have it corrected if you're having a child avoid this quote-unquote Hospital at all costs that's just sad I don't to say about that that sounds like an absolute nightmare for a parent penises are temporary reviews last forever Lisa also had some heartbreaking words to add with her 1 star review waited 3 plus hours when my son had strep don't think we will be coming back again I love that threat as if it's like well you just lost our business like this is the only hospital for like 45 miles Lisa you're gonna tell me that your son is gonna be just dying on his bed and his dad's gonna rush in and be like Lisa he's dying again we need to take him to the hospital Lisa just comes back with like I don't think so they lost my business now there are many local bars in my small town so let's take a peek at some glowing reviews local puss layer Slick Tony says great place good times hot waitresses cool drinks yeah the sunglass thing in here please I don't share Oh distant cousin of Steve Oh says there is a Pokemon stop across the road three stars let's take a peek at the family diner in town fish concen says I was very hungry , stopped in for a quick breakfast sandwich if not for my dog grabbing half of it would have been great and then he raised with it four stars like he's penalizing the business cuz a stupid ass dog ate half his sandwich recycled wardrobes says got a stop here for a treat it's sweat ah damn it I'm really disappointed by this one so one of my favorite stores in the entire world is right in the downtown area of my tiny ass town it's this place called thingamajigs what happened was a family bought the store bought a bunch of stuff that they got it like estate auctions and stuff and just crammed it into the store there's no organization whatsoever it's like you're walking through like a hoarders house except it's an enormous store and there are prices on maybe like a fifth of the things and it's there's no organization you just go in there and it's like here's a handgun and there's a squeegee and there's Conway Twitty tapes and maybe some of them have price tags on there there's just too much [ __ ] in there to even decide so you just call out to the couple sitting at the front you're like hey how much for this Iraqi War uniform and they're like 10 bucks you're like how could we do five all right that's it that's the whole stores you just root through [ __ ] and you've put in you just find stuff like I bought like 15 of my hats there I got like they were selling pasta for like five cents a box and I bought all that stuff and you just go to the front you're slick hey this says like six bucks on it taped to it and in masking tape written on it with a cran we do like two bucks yeah all right don't give a [ __ ] I went into the store like a couple weeks before I moved out to Los Angeles here and I was shocked because I did not think the store could get any better but boy was I wrong they took out all of the old like items and stuff and they made it just food medicine vitamins and like soaps and [ __ ] but here's the catch 70% of the store at least is expired you could go in there and they were selling like king-sized bags of like caramel M&Ms for 10 cents apiece there was pasta for like 15 cents a box I buy a lot of pasta from thrift stores I don't know if you're supposed to do that all the stuff is like stupid cheap and it's almost all expired there's no way in God's name that this place is legal I have such love for this place there's no way in hell that it's gonna be open probably a year from now because sometimes I'm almost sorry that I'm talking about it if you're part of the FDA or the Food Drug whatever you do whoever's in charge of food safety please don't take thingamajigs for me it's a good family business they're misunderstood please keep them open how's your boys supposed to buy pasta for 15 cents a box I'm not gonna find that at Kohl's [ __ ] Kohl's thing with Jake's for life go check out the thingamajigger all right let's cool off with a fresh little old dip with our little Tootsie's in the pool Adam had much kinder words to say great place to swim and spend time with the family staff is friendly and if you're looking for a great community pool this is the place but [ __ ] you three stars there's nobody in this goddamn town understand how stars work ah dammit I just checked both Funeral Homes in my hometown and there are no reviews for both of them so strike out there boys also in my town of 1,000 people we had a funeral home that was already in business for like I don't know 20 years and it was right next to the only coffee shop in town and a family came into town and bought the coffee shop and turned it into another funeral home right next to the exist funeral homes so now there are two competing funeral homes within like a hundred yards of each other Wisconsin come to our towns pretty smart well that's about it for local businesses it's a fun little romp down memory lane I don't get me wrong I love my small town I'm very glad that I grew up there there's a lot of weird stuff in my town and some really interesting people but overall no no there's gonna be weird people everywhere right hi I'm Kourtney PN well-known killer man and enthusiast of internet security and I'm here to tell you about Nord VPN Nord VPN is the premier leading VPN software on the entire market you wanna protect Manchester families with your Internet's Johnny your VPN do you want access to the servers or VPN do you want your very own military-grade encryption yeah here's how that works fellas so let me dumb it down for you also ladies there's your computer or mobile devices on mobile gosh there's them but man bad guys and I'm Nord VPN planning to save the day I'm encrypting your dad and all that stuff so that nobody can get you access to your stuff and safe and secure you snort VPN did it just get the type of coupon code Gus Johnson at Nord VPN comm / Gus Johnson and you get 66 percent off your purchase like a baby's bottle nor VPN comm / Gus Johnson use coupon code Gus Johnson you get 66 percent 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Channel: Gus Johnson

Views: 1,940,237

Rating: 4.9644628 out of 5

Keywords: reading business reviews from small town, gus, gustoonz, gus johnson, facebook marketplace funny, gus commentary, commentary, funny commentary, danny gonzales, drew gooden, eddy burback, gus and eddy, meme, new meme, meme 2018, mobile game youtube sponsor, funny video, viral video, vpn, consumer vpn, net neutrality, online privacy, free the internet, sven, sven johnson, funny reviews, gus reviews

Id: oJ20B1AQDs4

Length: 11min 38sec (698 seconds)

Published: Mon Sep 17 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/always1putt]

Different than his usual gags but a really funny video. This guy is just naturally funny.

[u/aksumighty]

I buy a lot of pasta at thrift stores, not sure if you're supposed to do that

[u/Fusion8]

It is so sweet that he moved from Wisconsin all the way to Los Angeles to be closer to his daughter. What a great dad.

[u/WingsuitBears]

I thought this video was great honestly. It was a bit different from his usual stuff but didn't lack because of it.

[u/WillMammoth]

Knowing he lived in Wisconsin, in a town with 2 funeral homes and a thingamajig, someone is gonna find his home adress in like 4 hours

[u/aponicalixto]

Not really a fan of his when his video gets shared in this sub. Then I started watching some of his videos and his vlogs. And I got to say I'm loving Gus and how genuine of a person he is.

[u/JJE37]

I don't want to be a local guide anymore.

[u/Wahooness]

Fuck Khols lmao