Who knew there were this
many freaking tater tots on the planet? Do you know which ones are the best? Well, we're gonna find out. Well, okay, man. You got me excited about tater tots, man. Who knew? But first, who you talking about? Let's play that. This is when we read a
comment that somebody left. It's about one of us. We decide who it is. Little Witch says, LMAOOO, the pan hitting blank's head
after all he's been through is so funny. I've been through a lot, Rhett. The pan hitting so and so's head. What all have you been through? I believe more than you. Yeah. Rhett believes he's been
through more than me. I believe I've been through more than you at the hand of you than you
have been at the hand of me. Well, that's not what I said. So I believe that this is
you doing something to me that hurt me. 'Cause that happens more often. Okay. Yes. Rhett's head after all he's
been through is so funny. What? Oh, of course. It's funny. What have you been through? Let's see. So you want me to throw it onto your head? No, I want you to throw it up nicely. I'm gonna catch it on my head. You talking about the? Yeah, see? We don't call that a pan. Oh. Why'd you do it sideways? You didn't keep it level, man. See?
Yeah. That was your fault. With all you've been through, I'm sorry that I added that to it. And I'd already been through a lot. Gwen, get in here please. Sporked.com is where professional people taste consumer foods that you
can buy at the grocery store and then tell you which ones
you should and shouldn't buy. Case in point, you're you're telling me that you've already eaten all of these. And so many more actually. Really?
Yeah. These are the ones you liked. Scoot a little bit more.
Yes. And these were all ones that we liked. These all made our list
of the best tater tots you can buy at the grocery store. Would also just love to point out that they're having a lot of fun
with the names of these things. Some of them are tater bites and some of them are potato puffs. Yeah, right. Which I don't like very much. Tater puffs. Yeah, so gross. All right. Well, tater tots is Ore-Ida. So these are potato puffs here. Yeah. Roasted garlic and cracked black pepper. Doesn't that sound good? Alexia. It actually does. 'Cause one thing that can
happen with tater tots is they can be under seasoned. Absolutely. Yeah, so I think like, okay. I also think that there
are no bad tater tots. These certainly aren't bad. Right? That's what I'm saying. As long as you're not eating them right next to each other, it's hard to tell if a tater tot's bad. Yeah. And they may not be. These are not particularly crunchy. They're not as garlicky as I'd hoped. With a hint of sour cream and chives. They're throwing a bunch
of stuff at this thing. They promise a lot for sure. Yeah. But I mostly got pepper flavor from them, but I thought it was really good. They are solid for sure. Yeah. Like the seasoning on a
salt and pepper potato chip is what that seasoning reminds me. Yeah, the salt's coming
through very, very strong, which is a must when
you're tater totting it up. I love putting pepper
on my potato products. Yeah. Like pepper on fries. I always love to do that. Absolutely. Potato products.
Yeah. So these are definitely my favorite of all the ones we've tasted so far. I love that. Okay, but also like, okay, I envision you're staying at an Airbnb and you don't have any spices with you. It's like, you just don't
even need any for these. Yeah, just get a bag.
That always happens. They've got like something you don't need, but they don't have what you do need. And like, yeah. They're all like, do I wanna use this? Really? Right, and the remote doesn't work. I know. And then like the little
Sonos sound system that they have doesn't work. Forget it. And then the ceilings are too short. Yeah, I encounter that all the time. And the shower's too small. I'm sitting, but I'm
actually six foot seven, so. Yeah, well, you know exactly how I feel. Same height. I know how tall you are. All right so these are Kroger. Kroger's come through for us a lot, with the shredded potato tater bites. Bites, baby. That's a crispy crispy. These are very well
cooked I would would say. Whoa. They're mostly crunchy, crunchy stuff. Are you picking up like a
flavor from them at all? I don't like 'em as
much as the ones before. Okay. Fair, fair. There's not enough potato in there. It's more just crunchy stuff. I think that the flavor
is very classic tater tot. I don't taste anything weird. Kind of oily to me. I think it might be too crispy. Okay. Okay, then you might not like
some of these other ones. Hold on, hold on. But here's the thing. You really like the crispies? I love a crispy. They're better than this. I don't, the flavor. I think they're better. I think this is classic tater tot and it's got like infused
flavor versus like, this has got some stuff thrown
on the top, which is not bad, but like, this is too much
potato, not enough crispy. This is better than that, but I want the potato and the crisp to balance itself out a little bit. Like I've gone too far here. Yeah, I mean. But I'm really liking 'em. You didn't complain about
anything here, but then here, I don't know how you're
making this above that. I did complain about this. You just didn't listen to me. Well, okay. So we disagree.
Don't fight. We disagree. Okay. so I got like an
oniony flavor from those, but it is kind of a
classic tater tot flavor. Yeah, I really appreciated that from them. I think they're pretty good. That's a store brand. That bag is probably like,
I don't know, a nickel? What do things cost? What's a banana cost? It's like it's been fried twice, though. Yeah, twice fried tater tots. Yeah.
365. These are, I think like, okay. Sweet potato puffs. My understanding is that tater tots are like fried at the factory. And then you just like
enliven them in the oven Oh yeah.
Yeah. Okay, good point. They are all twice fried if
you then fried them yourself. If you then fry them, yeah. We don't do that at Sporked. We do not twice fry things. What did you do? We oven, yeah. Okay. We oven. So these, these are very rounded. Yeah and these are sweet potatoes. Format buster. Very soft inside. I don't often choose sweet potato fries over regular fries given the opportunity. If you're gonna treat yourself, you need to go all the way. That's a pretty good
expression of a sweet potato. They're good, yeah. I mean, and they have a lot
of sweet potato flavor, right? Like if you're really into sweet potato. If you like sweet potatoes,
you're gonna love a lot. A lot.
Yeah, yeah. Like it's very sweet potato
forward, which makes sense considering it's fried sweet potato. There's no way I'm gonna put these above any of the other ones
we're tasting, though, because they're sweet potatoes. I think that's totally fair. And I think we all felt the same way. It's like a departure from
the classic potato tater tot, but still very good. Can I?
I'm still liking these. I'm gonna move these to over here just we can throw 'em in somewhere later. Okay.
But, whoops. Now the classic Ore-Ida. Oregon and Idaho. I didn't know. I didn't know that until I started working at Sporked, actually. Potatoes done perfect. Golden tater tot. Now, these are also Ore-Ida. What's the difference? So, these are their extra crispy. Oh. Okay, so this is a classic tater tot. I feel like they might
have invented tater tots This is Napoleon Dynamite. Fill up your pockets. Well, I don't, maybe they
don't have these at school. I feel like that rattled some
of the sweet potato loose and I tasted it again. That first one. So I have a little bit on it. What a treat for later. Oh God. I just think these, these are perfect. They're the standard. They're crunchy enough, but
they're also potatoey enough. I want one. Yeah. I know, well I didn't wanna reach reach, but now they're in my realm, so fair game. I like these more, better. Okay. You like extra crunchy then? You like extra crunchy KFC over original? I used to as a child,
but this is different. Because this is potato
inside, not chicken inside. You know what I'm saying? It's like, it's potato. It's sort like, ah, who cares? Well, I can't argue with the facts. Yeah, these are cooked very well. I think whoever cooked these, good job. Aren't these perfect, though? I think they're what you
expect from a tater tot. But my expectations of a
tater tot are not like, off the charts already. You know what I'm saying? It's kinda like, I know
what a tater tot is. Sometimes some trendy places
will have 'em as a side item. But this is true north, man. I think I definitely like these better. We've parted. We parted ways if you still
like these better than these. We'll see who agrees with Gwyneth. You like these better than those. I do. Surfer crispy toys from Lamb Weston. Did you say surfer? Yeah, I said surfer, but now it was the reflection, I'm seeing that it now says super. Super. Surfer tater tots would be very cool. Perfect for an afternoon on the water. Thinking of super though, isn't there something that special that you need to tell people about? Do I need to tell 'em
or do you want me to? Ask me, say you want me to tell 'em. I want you to tell 'em. You want me to tell 'em about what? Your album. My new album.
Your album. That dropped today? Don't put all the heavy lifting on me. Are you talking about the
James and the Shame album that just dropped today? 11 songs? Yeah, yeah. Everybody's talking about it. Everybody's talking about it. Yes, my album officially
launched this morning. So, in addition to those, yeah. In addition to those three
singles that have been out, now there's eight more for a total of 11. James and the Shame, Human Overboard, wherever you enjoy streaming your music. You didn't skimp, you know? You didn't say, well, it's
seven songs, it's a full album. You didn't skimp. I went double digits and
then a little bit more just to make sure. That's good. And on Monday, we're gonna be talking
about the whole album and Link and I will be basically
having a listening party, listening to it and talking about it. On Ear Biscuits, yeah. More in depth about it on
Ear Biscuits on Monday, so check it out. Nice. I'll still have my burger here. Some burger to go with the tots. Congratulations, man. Thanks, man. 11 Songs. You didn't skimp. Amazing.
I didn't skimp. Okay.
Surfer crispy tots. We love our surfer tots. I was like, as I was
saying it, I was like, how could it be surfer? I wanna find out. Not as crispy as these. A good tot. I think this is a really good balance. I've had burger in my mouth. There's nothing like putting a tater tot in your mouth with a burger. Absolutely.
That works. I feel like you're getting the crispiness and the potatoiness. I feel like you're getting what
I've been looking for here. This is a much better balance. This is just too extreme, man. I'm just telling you. I said it was over the top. They don't even say super
crispy or anything on 'em. No. These are good, yeah. So, my understanding is that,
so the brand is Lamb Weston, and that's a brand that like
a lot of restaurants actually use, like for frozen
fries and stuff like that, and this ranked, their french
fries ranked very highly in our frozen french fry ranking as well. Okay, Lamb Weston. I would say they have
the best potato taste. I love that.
So far. You love that. I love that. Does that mean you agree with it? We can't read you right now. You're doing a really good job. Okay, good. You should keep it, keep it close. I love that. I do love that, but that's
what we were looking for. It's like, you want actual potato flavor in these things, right? Those are my favorites so far. These are ranking high. I wanna move these down, but you know. It's so crispy, man. Your album came out today. This would be such a crowd pleaser, man. Such a crowd pleaser. I don't wanna bring you down. People love the crispy. Okay. But this is called crispy. All right, what do we have here? So we're back to Alexia, but these don't have the additions. These are like the straight up Alexia. Yeah, so these are like Yukon. They tell you what kind
of potato they're using. I really love tater tots, you guys. Tater tots are great. None of them, I mean,
listen, they're all good. And when they get colder, they're so much better than fries still. Like they got a staying power. These are organic as well. I don't know if any of the
other ones are organic. Organic, then you got non GMO. That has a very good, I like
the flavor profile on that. I'm missing a little bit of the crispiness just because I've really
fallen in love with that as I've been sitting here. Okay. But it's got a good, nice potatoey flavor. Yeah. It's those Yukons, baby. Now, lastly. Yeah, chug it, chug it. That's just water. That's just water for everybody. Do you want some? You trying to smuggle this in here? I don't know. Yeah, I came with this. You're a water smuggler. This is vodka, actually. She wants to be hydrated at all times. I am wasted. All right, so what are those again? Last but not least. Ore-Ida extra crispy. These were the, yeah. So that was the Alexia Yukon. Next we have the Ore-Ida extra crispy. These were very well cooked so they are like extra
crispy with a capital E. See, I wanna compare
to the Kroger, though. I love the size of these. One bite. Well, yeah, they're all one bite. Not for me. These are too big for you? Two bite food. Peanut M&Ms are also a
two bite food for me. I'm crazy. So I'm comparing, I'm
gonna make it a two bite. I'm making a lot of noises. I've lost perspective. Okay. They're not as crunchy. These are twice as crunchy as the other things that are
still labeled as crunchy. Whether you like it or not, it's the crunchiest
tater that I've ever had. I love that. And it doesn't even say it. Like that's the thing that
should be their selling point Kroger. They're missing the forest for the trees. They're so good, man. I keep going back to that. I don't know if I like Lamb Weston's. Are these your favorite now? I think they might be. They're just so they're
just so freaking crunchy. And the flavor's good. I'm telling you the flavor's good, but they might be too
crunchy for some people. So you have your ranking in your head. I think that, oh gosh. I brought notes, too. Like a dork. Like a dork. These are my favorite, you know? They're non GMO. Okay. Don't know what that stands for. Genetically maximized. It stands for nothing, really. Yeah.
Genetically maximized. That's how you know they're good. Well, you know what? Coming back to these,
because I tasted these first. Okay. I didn't appreciate the onion and garlic. Yeah. Now I'm coming back to these. They had the best flavor profile. These are my favorite. Can I have one? But they're not crispy enough. and so they're not gonna win for me. Gotcha. Where did you put 'em? Such a good flavor. I think my favorite is Lamb Weston. I bet you put 'em lower
because they were more like, and if you, 'cause at
Sporked, you're like, say these are the best all around, but if you are really into
blank, like black pepper. Yeah. These are for you So, if folks aren't familiar. It's not the Lamb Weston. The way we do our rankings, there's always like a best of the best. And then we kind of put things
in order, like, you know, this was like the second best thing and it does this really well. There's a lot of positivity. The best seasoned or yeah, because we are only ranking
things that are good. We wanna tell you what
you should be buying. I'm so confused, Gwyneth. I'm saying that these are my number one. Came here to mess with your minds. The true north is my number two. And then the very potatoey, I think it was this
one, is my number three. I like the extra crispy
Ore-Ida quite a bit, going back to that. Like having gone back and
tasting each one of these, I feel like you have the classic and the nice balance
with the extra crispy. I think, put me in a pinch, Ore-Ida extra crispy is my favorite. That was Sporked's favorite as well. See, there you go. Yeah, that was our number one. I knew that great minds would think alike. If you're into that. So, sorry. Where did you put these? Those were our number four, which is still like very, very good. You were emphasizing the
alternative flavor coatings. I think that, yeah, so
that was best seasoned. Those came in number four, best seasoned. It's like they're a
little bit too different to come in like top, top, top. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can't recommend something that's gonna be such
a curve ball to people who are just wanting tater tots. Exactly. So these came in number one. To me, these remind me, like these are restaurant
tater tots to me. I would not know the difference. Like, they're that good. And those are just baked? Yeah, it's wild, right? I know they're fried originally, but yeah. You don't definitely don't
need to double fry 'em. You get exactly what you want. So, do you want me to reveal the rest? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wanna see what you like,
really I'm interested in, what you thought about
these super crispy ones. So those are actually our number two. Okay. Yeah. See, man? You guys just really like,
you're crispy fiends. Yeah. Need a disclaimer. Yes, okay. I will add the disclaimer to the article. Yeah, so I think we did tend
toward the crispier ones. I think these are maybe a
little bit more well done than when we cooked them. But I'm like, I wouldn't
hold that against them. Yeah. I thought they were great. Okay, so one and two. They're very good. So first of all, like we're
like in lockstep right now. Okay. Yes, I love that. Let's see where you're going next. Okay, and then next we
have the Lamb Weston, which were the surfer boys. Which at one point were
my favorite until I tasted those other two again. Yes. Very good. I think we felt like they had the most, I felt like these were
very hash brownie in a way, because they have such a
creamy kind of interior and I love that about them. They're like their own special thing. Okay, so then number four,
we had the seasoned Alexia. Yep.
Okay. Number five, the Yukon select. Okay. Because that was a really
good potato flavor. I'm just glad I haven't
heard sweet potato yet. And then sweet potato. Yep. Coming up the rear. Yep, and I don't recommend that. Well, it depends on which. As soon as I was about to
say was like, don't say it. Depends on the species of sweet potato. Some of those long skinny ones, it's okay. Is the tot not your
potato shape of choice? Well, the Sporked team has also ranked the best frozen fries you can buy. Head to Sporked.com to check out the list.
