Ranking Every Mario Kart 8 DLC Track by How Safe It Is

Mario Kart is dangerous but you're in luck because I'm here to keep you safe today we'll be examining All 48 tracks from the Mario Kart 8 Deluxe Booster course pass and ranking them based on their level of safety so you can know what to look out for next time you're on the road after each track I'll take into account the frequency and severity of each safety infraction to come up with a rating out of 10 and at the end of the video we'll compile all of the ratings to see which track is the safest and which one is the most dangerous all right let's kick it off with Paris prominade now just like last time I'm looking for unsafe edges speed boost and jumps I'm looking for any sort of dangerous creatures Vehicles objects or environmental hazards and right away we got what appears to be some wood posing as dangerous creatures I would have liked to have seen these safety cones on the other side but that's okay the good news about this track is that we've got some nicely paved roads and very few obstacles so far uh the bad news is that it appears we are about to be launched towards the Eiffel Tower ah okay we've seen this before luckily now we know that these are just made out of wood so we've got nothing to wor ah overall though Paris prominade isn't super dangerous 7.1 out of 10 onto toad circuit where right away we've got a giant toad balloon just kind of looming ominously over us but it's not necessarily dangerous I suppose in fact this whole track is actually very safe we've got directional arrows and red and white markers on the sides of the roads I like the use of these safety cones here although we could have done without these speed boosts despite that toad circuit gets a 9.8 out of 10 all right starting out pretty strong so far let's see if we can keep it going with choco mountain right away we've got some very dangerous edges here with no guard rails and unlike these onlookers believe it or not I cannot fly that is unless we have one of these blue ramps here but this is definitely not safe H okay well I do appreciate the warning about the boulders falling I don't appreciate the fact that there are Boulders falling this is a dangerous track 4.8 out of 10 next up is coconut mall and here's a free safety tip for you guys don't drive through malls luckily it looks like this mall is closed for customers right now so we don't have to worry about accidentally running anyone over at least that being said there's lots of tight paths with pillars and other obstacles to avoid hm okay looks like the only way out of this mall is by jumping out of a window from the Second Story uh excuse me sir I'm not sure if you're aware but you are parked in the middle of the road Coconut Mall gets a 6.7 out of 10 on to Tokyo blur and with these Tor tracks each of the the three laps is slightly different but I got to say after one lap I didn't find a single safety infraction here we might just be looking at the first ever perfect safety score okay never mind I do like the safety measures in place here heading on to the highway uh they've even got a worker on duty here interesting he didn't mention the THS right around the corner though after such a prom missing start Tokyo blur ends up with a 7.9 out of 10 here we are at shroom Ridge the the weather is perfect and we've got a beautiful view here I would like to see some better precautions in place for some of these unsafe edges here but overall we've got a good amount of guardrails and directional arrows the main thing to look out for though is the other traffic on the road but as long as you take your time and pass only when it's safe to do so then it's really not a problem at all shroom Ridge gets an8 out of 10 next we've got Sky Garden right away I'm impressed with the structural Integrity of these clouds although I would like to see some more consistency with their Edge safety overall besides that we've got some precarious looking Vine Bridges and a couple dangerous jumps which brings Sky Garden to a 6.1 out of 10 okay ninja Hideway and right away they are not making a good first impression forcing me to immediately Drive off of a rooftop so this is an interesting building we've got some unsafe edges on the left and okay let me just right this down here uh giant sheren death trap okay yeah I don't think the people who designed this place had safety on their minds uh excuse me sir I would like to speak to the designer of this TR okay but yeah after flying across a large gap and being propelled across more rooftops I can confidently say that this is not a safe track 3.9 out of 10 onto New York minute where we start off by immediately driving through a park now I don't know what part of New York this is but it is way less crowded than I expected it to be who uh someone should probably look into that anyways we've got some taxis just parked in the middle of the road here classic New York and it looks like we're finishing up this track by driving through a fancy hotel to get to a garage okay I thought this was common knowledge but I'll say it just in case typically you do those things in the reverse order but despite that this is still a pretty safe track overall 7.2 out of 10 next up we've got SNES Mario Circuit 3 and I got to say I'm getting a lot of good vibes from this place already first of all we're completely walled in we've got red and white safety markings and sand on the sides of the road to slow us down now there are a few oil spills along the way but great work by whoever put these traffic cones in front of them we finish up with a mini speed boost here but this is definitely one of the safest tracks in the game 9.7 7 out of 10 over to the hot and dry calamari desert while the heat is a concern and we've got a bunch of spiky cacti close to the road the main source of danger here are definitely the trains clearly there's a severe lack of safety measures in place around these tracks I don't know what happened to the railroad crossing gates but they're definitely needed here and okay we are driving on the train tracks I don't think I have to explain why this is dangerous calamari desert gets a 5.4 out of 10 on to Waluigi pinball so in the last video we covered a few Warrior tracks and those were not very safe to say the least so my expectations aren't very high for his friend and yeah we are not off to a great start here but honestly besides a couple of unsafe speed boosts and jumps it's surprisingly pretty safe here we're nicely walled in and oh okay I take back everything I just said let's just carefully make our way through here and give Waluigi pinball a 6.3 out of 10 now we've got Sydney Sprint and I've never been to Australia so correct me if I'm wrong but I'm pretty sure it's not common to drive through buildings then fly off a ramp over some water to reach the road but hey if you're Australian let me know in the comments besides a couple more jumps like that there's actually nothing super egregious going on here I'm going to give Sydney Sprint an 8.1 out of 10 next up we've got snowland where the roads are completely slicked over with ice and I immediately don't feel safe all right slightly further ahead we've got some cracked ice and penguin sliding around here not what I would consider the safest driving surface but if you've got some good tires and can avoid falling through the ice there are definitely more dangerous tracks out there 6.5 out of 10 all right right onto mushroom Gorge and immediately I can tell where the name of this track came from although this doesn't really seem like a Gorge to me considering we're high up in the clouds but anyways we've got a classic dangerous combination of speed boost and unsafe edges here and yeah I wouldn't consider this the uh safest driving conditions mushroom Gorge gets a 5.3 out of 10 here we are now at Skyhigh Sunday let's see how safe it is here okay not a great start while this place is full of delicious looking treats it's also full of sticky narrow paths with no safety rails and large gaps we need to jump over despite wanting to consume everything here I unfortunately have to give Sky High Sunday a 4.4 out of 10 next up we've got London Loop London of course known for its Rich history its beautiful architecture its assortment of shops and restaurants it's giant chain Chomps for the most part though this has been a very safe track oh uh maybe I can just scoot over here oh no but yeah as I was saying for the most part this has been a pretty safe and the chain Chomps are loose I'm starting to think it's actually not safe here 6.6 out of 10 onto bu Lake now where we've got a bunch of ghosts flying around but honestly I'm more concerned about the structural Integrity of these wooden planks the booze are just kind of minding their own business okay I want to know whose genius idea it was to build this dock underwater like what are we trying to accomplish here besides drowning 4.9 out of 10 here we are on top of rock rock mountain right away we've got some very dangerous edges and considering we are above the clouds that is not a fall I would like to experience so let's make our way through this dimly lit cave and surely we could have come up with a better method for getting back to the ground safely here oh okay so while I do appreciate these very sturdy cones unfortunately this is the only path we can take all right let's just hope for the best rock rock mountain is a very unsafe track 4.7 out of 10 all right we've made it to the beautiful Maple Treeway early on this turn is looking a little dangerous here and okay let me write this one down giant tree Cannon ah okay we've got some leaf piles got to be careful with these who knows what kind of sharp objects could be under here uh you know these guys are actually pretty cute 5.2 out of 10 over to Germany now for Berlin byways right away we've got a little bit of traffic here but nothing too dangerous so far we've got some good usage of directional Arrow Signs and even some caution markers in front of these parked cars we do have have to drive through some unconventional places and I think I may have taken a wrong turn somewhere okay I know what you're thinking these guys are definitely dangerous but if you get up nice and close to them they're actually quite friendly this is a bit of an odd track to score but I'm going to give Berlin byways a 7 out of 10 next up is the lovely Peach Gardens just a beautiful array of vibrant greens and colorful flowers and more Giant GI chain Chomps why does this keep happening okay I don't know what they're feeding these plants but this is getting a little out of control oh all right we've got a mole problem now what is going on in this garden now normally I'm against my car flying but in this scenario I think it's better than being on the ground Peach Gardens gets a 5.8 out of 10 onto the winter wonderland merry Mountain this is obviously a very festive place but how safe is it well early on we we've got some dangerous snowy edges here that I almost just fell off of and again I'd like to see some sort of guard rails here I'd even take more of those logs over there just anything wrapping up this track with a steep snowy decline off of a ramp I'm going to give marry Mountain a 6.4 out of 10 okay we are in outer space for 3DS Rainbow Road even if we ignore the whole suffocating from lack of oxygen ordeal this track is extremely dangerous there's barely any guard rails tons of windy wavy roads we've got speed boosts and jumps over gaps just plenty of easy opportunities to fall off into the NeverEnding void of outer space and oh yeah there's also space chain chops one out of 10 over to Amsterdam drift now and I've heard lovely things about this place the people the beautiful scenery the big flying jumps over w water the mole infestation the roads that take you underwater the flower gardens filled with giant man eating piranha plants H this doesn't sound very safe 5.1 out of 10 next up is Riverside Park a very nice jungle like setting we've got some nice wide roads here and sturdy enough looking Bridges and what the are these oh great use of safety cones here but yeah we've got some little piranhas waddling around every everywhere obviously it's dangerous always having pedestrians walking around in the road but it's better than them eating us so Riverside Park gets a 6.9 out of 10 onto the cold snowy DK Summit where it looks like we'll be taking a ski lift up to okay not quite what I had in mind yeah I could be wrong but I don't think this place is meant for cars the track is made up entirely of downhill bumpy snowy slippery surfaces with some very dangerous edges okay how are these snowboarders completely unfaced that a car is driving straight towards them right now I'll give DK Summit a 4.8 out of 10 Okay so we've made it to Yoshi's Island and there is a lot going on here first we've got some uh interesting pedestrians oh hello I'm just going to squeeze on through here oh okay and there are piranha plants let's just hope it gets better from here here okay all right so we made it out of the water but now we've got some very unsafe looking edges and whatever that is in the distance yeah I don't think I felt safe here for more than 1 second I'm just going to try to not crash back into the ground and give Yoshi's Island a 2.4 out of 10 over to Bangkok rush now and early on I'm not a fan of having to drive through this water but at least we're not completely submerged so that's good okay side note what are they feeding these vegetables I'm not a food inspector but are those safe to eat anyways after getting a nice dangerous view of the city we'll make our way through this garage and wait hold up I thought I saw something yeah they got milk from Mumu Meadows all the way out here that's pretty cool anyways next we've got DS Mario circuit and I have high hopes for this one since we've had pretty good luck with the other Mario circuits okay I don't know what it is with these TR in their rampant jww walking problems but they really need to get that under control anyways we've got some good red and white safety markings and what is going on here okay I'm just going to put this out there this is not safe oh looks like someone's taking a little nappy poo over here but it's a good thing you're not stomping around on the road ah he's stomping 6.6 out of 10 all right back for another Waluigi track With Waluigi stadium and I am not getting a great great first impression here in my records of good safety protocols I don't believe I have uh giant ramps leading through spinning Fireball circles in there but I'll have to double check that you know as I'm going through this track I can definitely see why Waluigi and Wario are such good friends Waluigi Stadium gets a 4.3 out of 10 here we are now at Singapore Speedway the city is looking alive with a bunch of bright vibrant colors and oh come on not one of these all right let's see what's going on up here looks like we got some unsafe edges and some speed boosts yeah this track is not off to a great start again this place is beautiful but they really have to cut down on their obsession with sending cars flying all over the place Singapore Speedway is a 6 out of 10 on to Athens Dash where early on we've got a lovely view of the water in the distance while jumping off a dangerous ramp onto some precarious Stone pillar now let's just fly off these stairs and oh okay I feel like these caution fences maybe should have been placed before dropping in here but let's continue on okay it appears to me that Athens has a strange fascination with launching cars off of cliffs yeah I'm going to have to get my spine checked after this and there are Boulders here this is not a very safe track 5 out of 10 all right we are in the middle of the ocean now on Daisy Cruiser I don't think I have to tell you all to not drive your car onto cruise ships but I figured I'd mention it just to be sure okay I'm not sure why everyone seems to be unfazed by their tables sliding around everywhere but this is not safe but you know what else isn't safe driving through an underwater aquarium I'm going to give Daisy Cruiser A 5.6 out of 10 we've got a full moon here on moon view highway I'm not sure what this great is supposed to be accomplishing but I'd like to see some guard rails here instead normally on this kind of track with lots of other cars I'd just take my time and drive a little slower but they basically force you to speed here oh yeah there's also bombs 5.5 out of 10 okay so I have managed to shrink myself and make my way inside this bathroom for squeaky clean Sprint anyways let's immediately try not to drown in this sink here now a little bit further ahead let's hold our Breath Again and it looks like we've got some toothbrushes in the tub that's a sign of danger right there if I've ever seen one let's finish up the track by flying over a giant toilet and I'll give squeaky clean Sprint a 5.2 out of 10 next up we've got Los Angeles laps where we start off by driving on a pier and then a beach so as someone who is pretty familiar with Los Angeles the lack of other cars is very unsettling it makes me feel like I'm in some kind of post-apocalyptic bizarre Aro Los Angeles anyways let's fly over a baseball stadium that plus this active construction site are the most dangerous parts of this track so I'll give Los Angeles laps a 7.1 out of 10 onto Sunset Wilds now and it looks like we've got a nice flat completely walled in track so it's looking pretty good so far oh okay we got some safety cones too in front of this puddle I like what I'm seeing here now I'm curious about these dinosaur tracks too but these archaeologists have got to be more aware of their surroundings overall though this is a pretty safe track 8.3 out of 10 here we are at Koopa Cape starting off with a Noto safe jump here I really like how they curv these red grates upward and then immediately decided to abandon that concept all together let's avoid some pedestrians now and head to the uh water slide portion of this track I do like the use of the black and yellow caution lines here but I don't like is how my car is being carried down a rapid River the combination of using water to try to drown me and also Carry Me Away makes this a dangerous track 4.6 out of 10 over to Vancouver velocity now and I've heard great things about this city too but I am not impressed by the safety of their Bridges this bridge is a little bit better but where are these bats coming from this bridge though is surprisingly safe all right now let's dangerously fly towards these very color coordinated buildings then drive through an ice skating rink I don't know what's going on in here but it's giving me weird culty Vibes so I'm just going to leave as quickly as possible Vancouver velocity is a pretty dangerous track 5.1 out of 10 next up is Rome Avante I don't know what Avanti means but I just hope it has nothing to do with chain Chomps uh-oh let's continue on for now past these unsafe edges and this big jump back to the ground now we do have some well paved roads good use of directional arrows and safety cones here at the same time we do have to drive up and down an unusual amount of staircases and what's this uh I appreciate the safety warning I really do but I would have preferred if they I don't know didn't make you drive past chain chops H maybe I was a little quick to judge these appear to be uh herbivorous perhaps even domesticated chain chops so with that in mind I will be giving ROM aanti a 7.7 out of 10 okay we made it to DK mountain and I hope this car has four-wheel drive because it looks like we've got a steep uphill ahead of us there's some unsafe edges early on and okay here we go I don't know what it is with Donkey Kong and Blasting us out of cannons but this has got to stop so now that we've got an active volcano to worry about let's begin our descent okay don't try this at home but I'm going to test the structural Integrity of this Barrel here yep just like I thought not very good let's just wait what where did that replacement come from I guess we've also got some kind of black magic to worry about also Boulders let's just cross this very sturdy looking bridge and get out of here as quickly as possible 2.2 out of 10 on to Daisy circuit where there's some kind of celebration going on just got to be careful that none of this confetti blocks our vision right away I'm loving the use of these traffic cones here in fact they may have even gone a little overboard to the point where they're almost like obstacles I would have liked to have seen some of those cones in front of these giant speed boosts but there's still plenty of space to drive around these Daisy circuit is an incredibly safe track 9.9 out of 10 all right let's see if we can keep the good scores going with piranha plant Cove I really wish these track designers would warn me when they're underwater but yeah most of this track is submerged and when we're not underwater we've got a bunch of piranha plants and unsafe jumps to look out for but as if drowning wasn't enough of a concern there is also aquatic swamps and very bitey eels this is a very unsafe track 2.5 out of 10 over to Madrid Drive now and this has nothing to do with safety but I'm pretty sure this isn't Spanish so far so good for Madrid we've got a lot of nice restaurants to choose from so many that I can Overlook having to drive up these stairs uh I can't Overlook that though same goes for these piranha plants a little bit later on especially this one okay we definitely can't be having this defecation of an official safety sign Madrid I'm disappointed in you come on now we're entering a market with some more disturbingly large vegetables okay how are you so unfazed by this giant thw next to you after a flying jump over some water and having to drive through a soccer field I've determined that Madrid is a beautiful place where you can get very badly injured at any moment 4.9 out of 10 next up is Rosalina's ice world I'm not sure why she decided to claim this pretty Barren icy land with very unsafe edges but to each their own all right looks like we've got a stag Mite and or stag Tite situation here I always forget which one is which but regardless this is definitely not safe to drive under now let's just jump into this freezing cold ice water if I didn't know any better i' think that Rosalina might be trying to kill us 4.3 out of 10 okay sness Bowser's Castle 3 the first and only Bowser track in the booster course pack I was hoping there there would be zero but here we are as you can see we've got a classic case of there's lava and fire everywhere and I mean pretty much everywhere oh wait what's this wow um thank you so much for these traffic codes I feel so safe now anyways let's continue on we'll get past these bony piranha plants and I'm going to give Bowser's Castle 3 all right I have made it to the afterlife I mean we Rainbow Road besides the whole being an outer space thing this track is dangerous in other ways first of all there's a severe lack of guard rails at any point we could easily freefall and go crashing back down to earth there's also dangerous speed boost everywhere making it incredibly difficult to regulate our speed around these unsafe edges if there's one thing I hope you can take away from these safety inspections is that under no circumstance should you ever take your car into outer space 1.8 out of 10 and for the final results here's every Mario Kart 8 DLC track ranked from most dangerous to most safe thank you so much for watching and if you enjoy these kinds of videos it would mean a lot if you subscribed and if you'd like to support me further you can find a link to my patreon either on screen or in the description any support there would be greatly appreciated and it'll just help me continue to make these videos consistently moving forward all right I'll catch you guys in the next one n

Channel: j0rts

Views: 480,930

Keywords: j0rts, nathaniel bandy, bathaniel nandy, mario touch grass, touch grass, touch grass every game, touch in every game, jorts, touch grass guy, mario kart, mario kart 8, mario kart 8 deluxe, every mario kart, every mario kart track, mario kart ranked, mario kart rankings, mario kart 8 tracks ranked, mario kart 8 tracks, any austin, mario kart ratings, mario kart track ratings, mario kart tier list, mario kart 8 tier list, mario kart safety, mario kart safety ratings

Id: OYIaUqe-wYo

Length: 26min 38sec (1598 seconds)

Published: Mon Nov 20 2023