Prometheus Review by Decker Shado

[Music] e [Music] [Music] [Music] ter I've got to stop eating so much blue cheese hello worldwide web I'm deer Shadow the internet personality with the best hair last summer I was ready I was hyped the long awaited prequel to alien Prometheus was finally out and how did that go yeah not so good uh but like everything in life it's not a black or white good or bad five stars or zero situation Prometheus exists in the gray areas of film where does some things really fantastically and others well you get your first face hugger and it's not a face hugger it looks like a dick as many people have told me I'm simply wrong and this wasn't a prequel to alien allow me to clarify Prometheus is set in the alien franchise with familiar worlds and corporations but at the earliest point in the timeline otherwise known as the basic definition of a prequel there's a lot I wanted to find out from the film going in and even more questions it brought up and well I guess we'd better take a look at Prometheus and see if my opinion on it has changed in these last few months the film opens to sweeping landscape shots and epic music which looked very good in 3D and probably look great and high DEA too but what the [ __ ] happened on DVD I'm going to give them the benefit of the doubt and just assume that my DVD ripping software is somehow [ __ ] up as I really hope it's not normal that Prometheus is presented in 640 by 360 nevertheless after a couple of minutes we see a huge ship pulling away leaving behind a naked guy with a bizarrely plastic physique and a small cup of black a [Music] goo multi War The Rosy [Music] fragrance and it has one hell of a kick yeah it sure does the kend doall disintegrates and dies with his very DNA shredding aunder it comes back together again though which is genetically impossible but let's not let science get in the way now look new life this intro confused the [ __ ] out of me when I first saw it but it was explained that it's likely that they were just seeding a planet with life we didn't need to go to such extremes when we populated Hawaii but never mind that after this we are shown a discovery by Elizabeth Shaw and Charlie Holloway played by numi rapes and Logan green respectively did you dat it 35,000 years maybe older you got to be kidding me she must be kidding you a 35,000 year old cave painting in the aisle of sky Scotland that whole area was encased in many many sheets of ice know was the Ice Age after all but the giant with the foo hand pointing at the random balls is a last piece of really really weak evidence that the team needs to get the go ahead for a trillion doll Mission into deep space where we meet David played by Michael Fender whom likes to spy on people's dreams Heaven paradise whatever it's called some place beautiful how do you know it's Beau cuz that's what I choose to believe what do you believe well at least that explains the go-ahead we have a so-called scientist who's been trained from a young age to just assume things without evidence wonderful this sequence also shows off fast Bender's acting prowess rather well and is less subtle with the hints of his character rather it's like being beaten over the head with a bat that has he's an Android carved into the side of it well what's the trick then the trick William poter is not minding that it hurts the trick William Potter is not minding that it hurts or he's a film reviewer they reach their destination and we are introduced to the rest of the important characters including chares Theon as Meredith Vickers the tur noons authority figure and Janik the completely laid-back captain of the ship what the hell is that G it's Christmas need the holidays to showtime and still moving how would she not know about it yet they had to pack it with the ship it's a few light years away from the nearest Wayland Mart after a few other characters tell us how fast they're going to die I a here to be your friend I made a money you got that we find out that 90% of the crew flew out all this way before even learning why they were going on this Mission the same pictogram showing men worshiping giant beings pointing to the Stars was discovered at every last one of them and the only Galactic system that matched was so far from Earth that there's no way that these these primitive ancient civilizations could have possibly known about it you sure you got the right star cluster I mean you know sextilion stars out there specific pattern probably comes up more than a couple times but that system has a sun oh that's a six Planet system it's even more common just one planet with a moon capable of sustaining life and we arrived there this morning notice the planet's code LV 223 not the same as LV 426 from the original alien of course Alien 3 took place on Fiona Fury 161 and Alien Resurrection said that those events happened on Fury 16 so which planet is this who knows Shaw goes on to pull Exposition out of her ass saying they were downright invited by the engineers who were the creators of the human race okay so uh do you have anything to back that up I I I mean look if you're willing to discount three centuries of Darwinism wait of what Darwinism uh you mean Evolution right Darwinism Darwinism Darwinism it sounds like it was written by a creationist weird considering Ridley Scott's an atheist but how do you know I don't but it's what I choose to believe and that's it evolution is never brought up again and never spoken of by name before they land Corporal [ __ ] wants to have a word with the archaeologists but they're too busy nosing around her private Lifeboat like kids on a field trip please verbally State the nature of your injury please don't touch that it's a very expensive piece of Machinery it does bypass surgery what do you need it for what she got caught up in one of those late night infomercials and it seemed like such a deal at only 500 monthly payments of $49.99 she explains that she's skeptical of any alien life and if they do find some their top priority is to report back not to brashly rush in and ask for autographs they depicted in the most Sinister way possible but Vicar's orders are a hell of a lot closer to proper scientific study than what they're trying why did you even bring us here because it's your grasping at straws hypothesis that brought them out there to the tune of a trillion dollars whan was a superstitious man he wanted a True Believer on board uh so Prometheus is what happens when creationism meets Scientology hope this isn't a sign that Ridley's going to start his own religion soon after this they moved to sat down and and get a few initial readings just like home only if you're breathing through an exhaust pipe CO2 is over 3% 2 minutes without a suit you're dead so this moon is capable of sustaining life as long as you bring your own respirator and wouldn't you know it the random spot they choose to descend to just so happens to be near some clearly manufactured landmarks so they descend to a convenient Road still a good distance away from one of the mountains tell the survey team to suit up and meet us in the airlock there's only 6 hours left a day out why don't you leave it till the morning oh no no no no no no it's Christmas captain and I want to open my presents you arrived on December 21st unless it took you 4 days to land don't worry about it of course everyone is able to suit up and head out un less than 10 minutes and I must admit it is believable to some extent after all it's easy to calibrate each suit to each member when evidently they all have the exact same heartbeat no matter what's going on except for David who just shows a flat line wouldn't want to see seem unrealistic now Sean Harris's character ffield a geologist just so happens to also be a navigator and digital cartographer whom helps Matt the structure out with his magic balls which bring them to an oxygen spring so of course Holloway does what you always must do in a sci-fi flick after mentioning the air is [Music] breathable they show off their disapproval for this ridiculously dangerous Behavior by taking all their helmets off as well I'm sure they're just trying to be hipster ironic or something plus without their respirators they are completely at the mercy of the random holographic recording to take their breath away this Vision leads them to find an engineer's body which lost its head furthermore ffield begins losing his but what you do seem to care about is gigantic dead bodies and I don't really have anything to contribute in the gigantic dead body Arena I'm going to go back to the ship remind me never to bring that guy along to a paleontological exhibit but about the gigantic dead body IES let's compare alien Prometheus and decapitated by it alien Prometheus how long has it been dead 2,000 years give or take yeah the engineers are big but somehow they seem smaller than the original space jockey after David uses his super Linguistics powers to open up the door we find out what all the engineers were running towards look for it's the head a room full of jars of black goo with a big freaking head in it because it was they were fleeing from oh look a [Music] xenomorph that explains everything a storm conveniently interrupts at a Discovery so while Shaw Works to bag the head as quickly as possible David disobeys direct orders to leave the containers alone packing one while everyone else is too distracted the action in this sequence isn't bad but really needs HD and preferably 3D to do it justice of course the head Falls overboard and Shaw does the stupidest thing possible risking her life for a fragment of a corpse which they could either recover after the storm or just study the rest of the giant corpse but if she thought that then we wouldn't have David's robotic Perfection to thank for saving them from their own idiocy all right do this is real good to have you back but where's mil bur and ffield aren't they back yet oh the one with all the high-tech navigation equipment didn't make it back in time even though he headed out far sooner because he got lost somehow and of course that means that he and his random Bud from earlier are all alone but forget about them we've got to reveal the truth about the engineers now let's see who glowing phosphorous face Redbeard really [Music] is don't you just love it when the Fantastic alien species turns out to be a guy in a suit neither do I they probe his ear which obviously is uncomfortable but then don't know why but I suddenly have this craving for gushers Holloway on the other hand feels like a few gallons of booze to wash away the sense of failure wait what was to meet our makers to get answers why they why they even made us in the first place you barely stepped down on the planet you know and what you've found so far are the most important finds in history keep looking in this state David finds it easy to trick the man into drinking some of the black goo which he mixes into the alcohol because of course alcohol has no adverse effects on organic compounds I'm sure you're wondering why David would secretly secure an unknown compound and then use a random crew member as a guinea pig it's very simple actually you see it's the uh he was you know it was a okay let me see if I got this right David who has no emotions was curious and wanted to experiment and disliked Holloway so he used to Mr guinea pig to test out the compound that he had no idea what it was and didn't do any kind of lab experimentation on beforehand to see what what the hell the comound was consisting of because because [ __ ] it never mind let's just get back to the movie Holloway returns to Shaw somehow not drunk and she shows him more incredible discoveries their genetic material predates ours we come from them are you at any time going to maybe try to explain why chimpanzees are 99% the same as humans genetically or you know all the simulators with the evolutionary tree and [ __ ] and all that says Superman isn't cutting it for me therefore Hall's mood is improveed from depressed to apathetic nothing special about the creation of life right anybody can do it I mean all you need is a dash of DNA and half a brain right I can't I called great life wow this is a awkward time to bring that up surprise character trait Shaw is Barren So that obviously means they've got to start [ __ ] to make her feel better speaking of reproduction ffield and Milburn decide the safest place to camp out is by that room of black goo with the decapitated body that made them want to go back to the ship in the first place I don't know kind of looks like what's that hey after spending hours running around the corridor scared of every shadow now for some reason they are absolutely enthralled with the tentacle monster as is easily predicted the Proto face hugger isn't very friendly and after breaking his arm they attempt to slice it off acid for blood good instantaneous regeneration weird so not a face hugger a throat [ __ ] now that they're good and dead the storm subside so everyone can go in looking for them they learn quick enough that at least Milburn is very dead and we learned that no no Xeno chest burster yet Holloway isn't looking much better at this point so it's a rush to get him back to the ship for help not too fast though as David has broken off from the main group to fiddle with more engineer Tech this provides us with another holographic CGI Fest which is again more impressive in HD but phenomenal in 3D showing us the engineer seated life in many Star systems including ours after this abruptly ends David makes one final [Music] Discovery one of the Supermen from 2,000 years ago isn't dead and he has faith that he will return it wait a minute uh uh never mind the ridian for a moment Holloway's condition is worsening by the second and Vickers is waiting at the hanger door with the alien movie tradition of a flamethrower he's not coming on board this is a sick man I can see that that's why he's not coming on my ship why is it that 90% of the time I find myself agreeing with the mean characters of this movie they bicker back and forth until even Holloway admits that Vickers is right about this one and he lets her end his suffering by increasing it 500 times over get a gun people after this Shaw is taken to quarantine under the care of David whom remove moves her cross right before telling her some shocking news my mind you're pregnant the Miracle of Life a blessing of please get it out of me get it out of me or you could scream at the top of your lungs for an abortion to be fair David does mention that the fetus isn't exactly traditional but hearing those words from her so soon after the crosses removed it just raises one of my eyebrows a quick sedative later and she is out cold but when we return she explodes from the table in one of the most memorable scenes of this movie please verbally State the nature of your injury I need ceran error this med pod is calibrated for male patients only male patients only what the hell was it doing in vicker's private quarters uh-oh that gripe aside the tension of this scene is great as she details the procedure herself while shooting up with painkillers and races against the clock with the machine's timed movements and the creatures attempts to breach the womb one other thing that bugs me about this though congratulations re it's a squid a lot of these weird designs are actually similar to early concept artwork for the original alien that was discarded for good reason but her self St and decontamination of the Metapod are interrupted when Field's camera comes back on as it evidently was simply switched off all this time and they do the logical thing of opening the door before even finding out his condition 5 yeah when his mask got acidified he got black goo and this is what happens to a man when he gets black gooed he turns into Mr Hy they lose half their crew to him and finish him off with a flamethrower which is starting to make me wonder why they brought so many flamethrowers to a scientific expedition in deep space there's no Oxygen uh never mind that though sh returns to the medical area since no one decided to come after her all this time and finds out that Mr Wayland has been in hypersleep all this time if these things made us then surely they could save us well save me anyway save you from what death of course I know he's been sleeping the whole movie but I really don't think that this is the best planet to avoid death on she pretty well explains that to him but they ignore her warnings and even invite her to tag along because when [ __ ] goes down it's best to have all the important characters in one central location it makes editing a whole lot easier and before they go Vickers reveals a secret to the audience anything else no father that explains it everything I know it doesn't when the hell did he knock up her mother in his 70s that deathly important character building out of the way and they return to the navigation area David informs us that the engineers were interrupted in the process of leaving with their massive shipment of black goo leaving to go where Earth specifically America in the state of California and the city of Los Angeles every alien race knows that that is where you make first Contact they wake up the big guy and David begins talking to him though something might be Lost in Translation okay while there are no subtitles David actually tells them that Wayan wants to live forever and in the Blu-ray exclusive Extended Cut of the scene the engineer responds that if they were Immortal they would have not had bothered making men and in both versions it ends with him trying to kill everybody which he succeeds in except for Shaw whom has no problem running away even though her abdominal muscles aren't exactly connected right now but the engineer decides to pick up where he left off starting the ship up on the mission to destroy Earth oh it says special navigation suit that's so big not that creature itself those aren't shoulders and arms it's just part of the chair God that's disappointing an orgy of eye candy in Shaw's Wolverine style regeneration is in full force as she runs and leaps towards the ship warning the captain that the alien craft is going to Earth with [ __ ] tons of Goo so he decides to Ram the ship while Vigor flees via an escape pod honestly a nice way for three of the less annoying characters to heroically go out though I am a bit disappointed that the ship didn't blow up three or four times the engineer vessel crashes down right where Shawn vicker's happen to be strafe strafe strafe good strafe strafe the ship then topples over just like the one in Alien though this isn't the one from Alien evidently it just looks exactly like it in every way possible making it to the Lifeboat Shaw discovers something horrid the squid baby didn't die but grew to monstrous size escaped from the surgical room wrecked the place and then locked itself back inside the surgical room the engineer also survived the crash but Shaw's baby is very interested in having him as a new friend to play with much larger face huggers were also part of the original design for alien and for some reason they thought they looked silly now that she's all alone David contacts her again and it turns out that there were several engineer ships and they can get back to Earth she is more interested in finding the engineer home World instead they created us then they tried to kill us they changed their minds I deserve to know why so this movie built up answering all these big questions and answered very few and gave us even more questions and they might be answered in a sequel yay the movie closes with a warning transmission that would make sense if this were on l426 but never mind that the engineer gets the final curtain and we finally see [Applause] a Proto xenomorph thing like completely bypasses the chest burster face and has no tail well that was Prometheus yes Ridley Scott did actually say this was not a prequel to alien just a movie in the universe that predates all the others so a prequel but not a direct prequel equal nevertheless it was originally scripted to be on LV 426 and The Clash of trying to explain the setup of alien and then trying to rewrite it into a more original story doesn't keep it completely comprehensive but at the end of the day it's the questions brought up and left unanswered that bother me the most I know that a film that leaves a lot of lucens can still be great and there are several like that I appreciate for just that but when you set up such profound questions that Beg For answers under the basic pretense of making a film to answer questions it helps if you don't leave the sheet blank at the end I must admit I did gather some entertaining hypothesis from fellow viewers for what it all meant but the movie itself just left me with sequel bait obviously though there is a lot to like about this movie aesthetically the visuals are phenomenal it's great in 3D and despite the writing of the characters being woefully shallow the actors did a fantastic job with all the roles as an alien fan this film annoys me for dumbing down the space jockeys to just big people and giving such a convoluted Evolution for the Xenomorphs as a science fiction fan the horribly unscientific scientists make me nauseous but the the flashy Tech is a more than Pleasant distraction overall the fact that it was written by one of the writers of Lost is probably the best indicator for whether or not you'll like it I can't stand lost style of making [ __ ] up as they go along to maybe answer later or not others love discussing the possibility of what everything means if you are one of the former Prometheus will be a beautiful let down for the latter it may be an intriguing work even an underrated Masterpiece from where I stand it entertains just as well as it underachieves bringing in three tentacle monsters out of five I do like it better now than when I first saw it but not enough to boost it a whole star maybe later I'll see it as a classic especially if the sequels help it out but for now it's just far too shallow with how profound it tries to profess itself as thank you all for watching I have mger Shadow and remember the Church of ridian welcomes all with open arms [Music] [Music] [Music] for [Music] [Music] w [Music] well if you can't be I'm the one you love love the one you with love the one you with

Channel: Decker Shado

Views: 366,873

Keywords: decker, shado, reviews, prometheus, alien, franchise, horror, science, fiction, sci-fi, movie, review, ridley, scott, michael, fassbender, noomi, rapace, prequel, space, jockey, engineer, proto, xenomorph, Prometheus (Film), Noomi Rapace (TV Actor), Ridley Scott (Hall Of Fame Inductee), decker shado

Id: a8fj39jyWXk

Length: 29min 17sec (1757 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 06 2013