Poisonous Giant Hogweed + Autumn Edibles & Fungi

we've all heard of plants that can kill you if you eat them but have you ever heard of a plant that can kill you if you touch it well then allow me to introduce you to giant hogweed one of the world's most poisonous plants look at it its leaves are several times the human hand span its stalk is typically 2 to 4 inches thick it's flower head is a humungous disk of rays and spokes which when in bloom is populated by lacy white flowers and its overall height is typically 15 feet tall although it can grow upwards to 25 feet tall it is a monster yes when we say giant we do mean giant but large though it may be what is even more impressive is the size of its list of victims as every year without failure the headlines are dominated by tales warning of its danger permanent blindness bird degree burns ginormous eruptions of blisters and charred melted skin are all symptoms of coming into contact with this plant and it's corrosive in melting sap but worst of all is that these monstrous burns and blisters are incredibly prone to infection which if left untreated will result in amputation or death via sepsis serious business for a serious plant and the way it works is by increasing your skin's sensitivity to sunlight which means that you will get sunburned a lot quicker as the SAP completely destroys the top layer of your skin which then gives all of the sun's harmful ultraviolet radiation a free pass to completely scourge and incinerate you are now unprotected deeper layers of skin with giant hogweed sap on your skin it turns five minutes of sun exposure into 15 hours of sun exposure and the results are devastating but assuming that you do make it through the whole ordeal your skin remains sensitive to sunlight for up to seven years yes a lasting affliction that will have you flare up into blisters and rashes again upon further exposure to sunlight it is incredibly brutal and it consistently sends people to the hospital every single year but the key to avoid this is awareness so we are going to talk about giant hogweed today we are going to talk about identification and how to avoid it we'll talk toxicology the science behind the poison and then we're also going to talk about the many different stages of giant hogweed development as whether it be summer autumn winter or spring each stage carries with it a new set of risks so let's now go ahead and dive right into the deep end and get to know this toxic monster the full scientific name of giant hogweed is Herick Liam Manta gassy Arnim named after Hercules presumably for its heroic size and stature it stands tall it stands proud it towers over absolutely everything upwards to heights of 25 feet tall it is Europe's largest herbaceous plant native to Central Asia it was first brought over here to Britain by the Victorians for its decorative value in gardens but it has since escaped into the wild where it now wreaks havoc upon unsuspecting hikers from a distance the first thing you'll notice is the humungous disc of rays and spokes does sit atop of the plant midsummer these rays are populated with a densely packed umbrella-shaped bloom of lacy white flowers very eye-catching indeed but they will eventually wilt and fall leaving only behind these straw colored seed pods and the main stem of the plant can be two to four inches thick yes incredibly sturdy it is as wired as a coke can sections of the stork can be smooth hairless and green but other sections will typically be covered in purple spots and blotches a very key feature and very reminiscent of stinging nettles these sections will also be guarded by these disgustingly sharp SAP injecting needles mmm if not a very welcoming set of features and leaves tell of a similar story an unusually bright shade of glossy lime-green these large compound leaves can grow upwards to five feet across they are deeply lobed and divided much like a handprint they are sharply incised and serrated all along the edges all parts of the plant contain the toxic skin melting SAP but the serrated leaves and the needled blood stalks contain the highest concentrations and fortunately for us since the plant is so oversized its features are pronounced and easy to spot and those right there are the features of giant hogweed and now let's talk toxicology the science behind the poison how does it work and what is desires well the short answer is the the SAP causes your entire top layer of skin to self-destruct which then allows for all the sun's harmful ultraviolet radiation to break through and burn all of your underlying unprotected layers of skin and tissue this results in second to third degree burns ergo the 15 hours of sun damage in just five minutes of exposure hogweed SAP is The Saboteur that blows a hole in the castle wall it is the botanical equivalent of the Battle of Helm's Deep without your top protective layer of skin you won't get absolutely cooked by the Sun and that is exactly what happens that's the short answer but the long answer and the more detailed answer is that it is a psoralen plus UVA induced apoptosis of keratinocytes and subsequent sunburn of the dermis and the sub dermis a condition known as fight Oh photo dermatitis what does all that mean well your skin is comprised of three layers the epidermis the dermis and the sub dermis and within the top layer the epidermis you have two types of relevant cell you have keratinocytes which are your skin cells and you have melanocytes which are responsible for the production of mallanna's arms which go on to transport melanin to the keratinocytes and it's this melanin shield that gives your skin its natural UV protection as it is capable of deflecting those harmful UV rays before they can damage the cells below but now here is where giant hogweed comes in within the witch's brew of giant hogweed SAP is a chemical known as psoralen a light-activated saito toxin when touching giant hogweed this psoralen is absorbed into your skin's keratinocytes where it then parks itself very precariously in between the strands of your DNA and here it remains inactive and dormant for now that is onto a stray ultraviolet ray from the Sun manages to pass through your melanin blockade and zaps de psoralen this awakened and activates the psoralen which immediately causes it to snap to and fuse with the delicate strands of your DNA creating a screaming twisted defective mangled mess known as inter strand cross-linked DNA and this cross-linked completely breaks the chain of your DNA rendering it unable to function or replicate accurately this compromises the integrity of the entire cell and as far as your body is concerned this is potentially cancerous a ticking time bomb that is nigh irreparable and under no circumstances can be allowed to persist and so in an effort to quarantine and contain the spread of potential cancer your body will order that cell to self-destruct it will order the destruction of that cell by ordering it to commit suicide this is known as apoptosis a cellular sacrifice for the greater good and this is good because it prevents you from getting cancer but this is also really bad because now you have a hole blown in your defenses as these a pop toepick cells will break apart internally losing their protective properties in the process and as a consequence this allows more ultraviolet light to bypass and penetrate deeper and deeper into the underlying cells and so the process continues psoralen moves in absorbs UV tangles the DNA and triggers the death of the cell all along down the line until eventually your entire epidermis is destroyed which then gives the UV light complete free access to penetrate even deeper into the dermis and the sub dermis resulting in the catastrophic ly deep radiation burns once it burns the dermis that is a second-degree burn and once it burns the sub dermis that is a third-degree burn and now consider that this could be happening up the entire length of your arm then it is no surprise that the damage is so severe and so in a last-ditch effort to prevent any further burns from occurring your body will flood the area with fluid it will create a big bulbous cushion of protective fluid we come to know as a blister this is your body's last line of defense against further radiation burns as the blister fluid will absorb or diffuse the ultraviolet light and it will also create impossible terrain for the psoralen it is the moat around the castle that puts an end to the offensive the fret and the risk of any further burns has been neutralized for now so when we look at images of giant hogweed burns we often perceive the blisters as the damage but nay they are more helpful than harmful they are your body's attempt to fix the problem the real damage is to the skin above and beneath the blister fluid the scorched burned swollen charred remains of irradiated flesh and soft tissue coupled with the higher chance of these burn wounds later becoming affected and causing really severe problems down the line is what makes coming into contact with giant hogweed so dangerous and now right there is the science behind giant hogweed poisoning the psoralen plus UVA induced apoptosis the keratinocytes and the dermal and subdermal sunburn the phyto photo dermatitis plant light skin inflammation very simple mechanisms but to devastating effect oh it's a real doozy but another brutal and cruel aspect to this condition is that you will not notice it happening and to 24 hours later this process shows no noticeable symptoms until it is too late you've absorbed the hogweed sap onto your skin you haven't realized and so you've gone about your day frolicking through the fields of flowers all the while absorbing tons of sunlight and UV propagating the sorrel and reaction nothing seems amiss until you wake up 24 hours later became what the [ __ ] has just happened to my arm and by this point the damage is irreversible antibiotics topical steroids antihistamines and a total arm cast of the usual methods of treatment but assuming that they do heal and all is well the affected area remains sensitive to sunlight for up to seven years it will flare up in blisters and rashes again upon further exposure to sunlight nasty business you're [ __ ] either way but what happens if you manage to catch it early what if you happen to know a thing or two about plants what if you are able to realize that you have come into contact with giant hogweed what can you do to prevent the reaction well it's real simple psoralen activation relies entirely on sunlight so you take away the sunlight and you prevent the entire reaction and so the first thing that you must do if you have made contact with hogweed is to immediately cover the area with as many layers of clothing as you possibly can take off your jacket your shirt your tarp or your ground sheet and wrap the area until it is completely shielded from sunlight we are talking a total blackout a solar eclipse ma'fucker we are talking the heat death of the universe levels of darkness no sunlight under any circumstances not a single photon and if you can't spare clothing well then use mud use anything that you can find to protect and cover your skin hell grab a bunch of leaves and turn your arm into a ghillie suit you got to do what you can and then keep the area covered for at least 48 hours to give your body enough time to expel the toxins however it is also recommended that you at least try to rinse wash and clean the affected area with soap and clean water this may mean kind your trip short and heading home were failing that wait until sundown and then uncover and clean by the campfire and protip natural soap producing wild plants such as ragged robins Campion's and horse chestnut conquer leaves can aid you in this process as there sudsy bubbles will help carry the toxins away but the main thing above all else is that you keep it covered and keep it safe and that right there my son is giant hogweed in a nutshell to be aware of its existence and how to identify and avoid it and to have a deep understanding of its toxins and how to prevent a reaction from occurring or a set of next-level skills that may just end up saving you a limb down the line knowledge of hogweed saves lives and that is ez game ez life take away its potent toxicity gruesome burns and disgusting blisters and giant hogweed is actually quite a beautiful plant ginormous impressive and de City it is an Amazonian prehistoric looking masterpiece something that really wouldn't seem out of place in amongst the dinosaurs but with all that being said giant hogweed is not always 15 feet tall and strikingly obvious night like every other plant it starts off small and inconspicuous sight we're gonna finish this up real quick by walking you through the many different phases of joy and hogweed development he starts off life in the spring as an ankle height bundle of sharp bright luminous lime-green leaves upon first glance these could easily be mistaken for thistles but the really strikingly bright shade of lime-green is a dead giveaway that this is giant hogweed thistles and other neighboring flora such as nettles are a much darker drabber shade of green real emphasis on just how bright and shiny these hogweed leaves are amongst all else they stand out brilliantly but upon closer inspection you will notice that the stems are absolutely smothered in those signature purple blotches and sharp SAP injecting needles and herein lies the danger of spring hawkweed walk on through this bundle of hogweed and those needles will absolutely perforate your ankles it doesn't matter if you're wearing socks those needles are there to penetrate so do be cautious while walking through the springtime brush and be on the lookout for those bright shiny lime-green bundles of leaves fast forward to early summer hogweed has a growth spurt it's now typically four to five feet tall large sharp divided leaves and purple blotches on the stem with sharp needles on the periphery it has all the token features except for the flower in this stage it is just a but an unopened folded crumpled orb of foliage bit like the head of a lettuce inside this orb is the flower head dormant for now but getting ready to emerge this high it can easily scratch up your hands and arms and without that bright and vibrant flower head or the wheel of spokes there to immediately tell you that it's giant hogweed it is very easy to overlook and so you must remain vigilant and learn to recognize the budding orbs of giant hogweed and commit some of the budding orb opens out and unravels revealing the signature bloom of umbrella-shaped white flowers very easy to identify at this point I'm sure you know to do but come autumn and into winter giant hogweed will die leaving only behind the hey coloured hollow husks of the stem harmless though it may seem this is actually quite dangerous too because if you've got a real keen eye for fire-making materials then you would take one look at this and think my god that right there is some damn fine kindling it's dry this week is brittle and it's hollow that wood beautifully and you'd be absolutely right it would burn beautifully but at the same time he will also release choking clouds of toxic smoke just because a plant is dead does not mean it is inert many of the toxins are still active even though the plant is dead burning it and breathing in its toxic smoke or even handling the dead dry husk could result in some nasty lung and skin damage and so if you do ever come across the 4-inch vic dead try a stalk of a plant then just know that that could probably only be one thing the giant hogweed one of the world's most poisonous plants an ostrich right hen is to play the time is 454 p.m. the Sun is still shining and the birds are still singing and so I say there is prime time to have a little hike around to see what else that we could find out here any majestic autumn fungi or tasty edible plants who knows let's find out together yes yes here we have yellow or achillea millio folium funnily enough this is an edible relative of giant hogweed if you can believe such a thing and another unbeliever i to add to the collection incredibly common in the fields and in the grassland yarrow is characterized by that familiar array of bright white flowers it also features slender hairy stems and feather shaped leaves and it is these green feathery leaves that are the flagship feature of yellow they are unique and are the most desirable edible parts of the plant resembling the boughs of spruce or pine this feature alone makes positive ID simple and straightforward and you'll need that assurance when it comes to the umbilical right around individual blooms you will typically find a large spread of those feather shaped leaves a vast and shaggy carpet of mossy looking foliage and it is this right here which makes yarrow quite an abundant source of food war these leaves have a pleasant and perfumey scent but are fairly big - in taste they are quite strong in the old tannins but boiling them will reduce these to palatable and bearable levels these should be boiled anywho because being ground Weller's they are likely to be tainted with the subtle hints of shoe soured fox urine yes so those are probably not the flavor palates that you're looking for out here so cooking and cleaning them up is a must other common names for Yero include staunch weed soldiers wound wart and nose bleed yes all things blood related as this plant was once used to stem in storage the flow of blood from wounds handfuls of these feathery leaves were used as compression bandages and individual sprigs of the arrow leaves were placed in the nostril to plug the nose bleeds its latin genus achillea is referenced to achilles whom in greek mythology used the leaves of yarrow to cover and plug the stab and slash wounds that he suffered during the Battle of Troy but outside of mythology Yarrow's true effectiveness as a bootleg bandage is questionable at best if exsanguinations is on the cards then it is definitely better than nothing but protip yarrow also comes in a pink variety yes yes exact same flower exact same chemistry and ell ability just a different coloured flower oh now ain't there real nice now look at this little batch of fairy ring champagne yawns yes yes the edible champagne colored mushrooms that are looking a little bit like bread buns just bacon out here in the hot Sun oh yes that is most tasty with a beautiful cream-colored cap spaced gills and slender stems on the surface these look rather plain but upon closer inspection we can see the more salient features for you see the gills are spaced one width apart and also curved downward as they reach closer towards the stem never quite touching the stem there is space in between a buffer zone between the guilds and the Stipe technical term for this Gill shape is free and this is a very trivial feature in the grand scheme of things but it is incredibly in pourtant when it comes to distinguishing these mushrooms from their undesirable look-alikes for you sue eating field mushrooms is always risky business as there are many look-alikes some toxic and some not we can draw comparison to the egde Orcas genus of fungi which is populated by many edible species but also has many toxic species all within the same genus and faring champignons are no exception for example one notable look-alike is Cletus opee review Llosa they are the same size they are the same shape and sometimes even the same color but the way to tell apart the fairy ring champignons the FRC's from the rebel OSes is by the shape and structure of the gills as mentioned the FRC's have the curved free gills that do not touch the stem whereas the regulator's have d current gills that do touch and do run down the stem fiddly business Destler now then for those that may find themselves wandering around a post-apocalyptic wasteland then FRC's would be of great value because these mushrooms are easily preserved for you see these mushrooms are quite tough and fibrous which means that they are not particularly prone to rotting falling apart or going soggy much like other mushrooms would know all you need to do is dry these out air dry and they will keep for months even years perhaps because they are the mycological equivalent of beef jerky and this is due to their tough structure but also due to treta lows a sugar within the mushroom which acts as a natural preservative so dry these out and they will shrink to half their original size for easy storage and then when you're ready to eat them just so come up in some cold clean water and they will rehydrate they will swell back up to their original size and return to their former edible glory so if you ever need to make like a squirrel and stash some food in a tree then fairy ring champignons are a good source of storable edible protein now how about another fungi this time we're looking at lack romário lacrima bandha aka the weeping Widow menacingly named after the jet-black watery tears the collect in amongst the gills of the mushroom with a tan colored Stipe and tan colored cap they are finely wooly and slightly furry a common mushroom often found in large numbers these grow quite close together often entire Tufts and clusters join together at the base of their brilliant white cottony basal bulbs and underneath the cap he will find dark brown gills spaced closely together one width apart they will curve inwards as they need towards to stem but they do end up touching the stem which makes this Gill shape at next but not free close but no cigar for the most part these are featureless fungi that would be quite hard to identify but it's those black pearly tears that really sealed the deal as after rain frost sleet snow or just general humidity these mushrooms will absorb moisture which will then be released at a later date in the form of these dark droplets of water the tears of the weeping Widow while intimidating in name these are in fact harmless and edible safe to eat mushrooms so you can cook them up and chow down and that right there is some easy-peasy protein however this is not recommended for beginners due to this mushroom having an absolute plethora of look-alikes such as the honey fungus the inner sides or Inasa bees the sister dermis the sufferer elyes the Courtin re Isis and the corner o my C's yes there are many look-alikes out here some of which are a little bit poisonous so this is not one for the plate because mistakes are easy to make are you feeling peckish if so then why not treat yourself to the tasty tangy edible fruits of the salt spray rosebush aka the Japanese rose hips abundant bountiful and easy to identify these are rose hips on steroids they are tomatoes with tendrils they are big old bulbous red berries that are the of a concur real simple to eat them you must slice them open and then scrape out the seeds like a pumpkin and KaBlam that's a toasty and tari bit of fruit right there nice and easy no further explanation required but pro tip though the inside of these berries are always covered in fine bristle e hairs that can irritate your throat if you swallow them so do make sure that you really scrape them out thoroughly or perhaps go one step further and hover them over the flames of your campfire to singe off any of those remaining micro hairs you can also crush heat and reduce these down into a thick edible Jam or you can also brew them into a tea which is said to help alleviate the symptoms of arthritis and there is some scientific evidence to support that so that right there that's one for you dear ol Graham and fun fact these are names does salt spray rose bushes because aside from being found in the wilderness these bushes can also be found growing along the beaches by the sea and of course being a rose bush they are covered in a shitload of spiky form so do be sure to mind your fingers if you try to bay rapidfire what is this tower of yellow could it be at rapeseed hard no sir this here is canadian goldenrod latin solidago canadensis oh that's very nice now look at it native to North America it is majestic and it is beautiful 5 to 7 feet tall with long thin slender stems serrated spear shaped leaves and large branching arcs of golden yellow flowers look in most aesthetic in amongst the knapweed the young leaves nearing the top of the plant are edible as are the yellow flowers and now cellulose for George but aside being fit for human consumption these are also a fan favorite amongst the insects as they will feast upon the sweet nectar within the flowers and then lay their eggs upon their which may sound off-putting but to others that's just extra protein the individual flowers that may host eggs or not are shaped like little stars they have raised the burst 4 and it is this that makes these quite messy things to eat because these can often get stuck onto the roof of your mouth which for those with a sensitive gag reflex that is gag see there laughs farmer John six acres dad thinking that you're running a brothel here so I much like ordering soup on a first day it is not a very flattering thing to eat not a recommended meal if you tryna call but fun fact really fun fact actually after the 1773 Boston Tea Party in which all of the British imported black tea was thrown into the harbor and subsequently boycotted let us never forget goldenrod leaves were used as a tea substitute yes indeed the leaves were brewed into hot water to form an all-american tea which was known as Liberty tea or Blue Mountain tea so if you ever get tired of the plain-jane h2o then why not give goldenrod tea a try it's easy to make it tastes agreeable and if you're an American then you can also revel in the delight of given a big ole [ __ ] you to the bridge and for those absolutely game-changing michelin-star winning style points them why not garnish your campfire cuisine with the fragrant purple petals of the hardy geranium typically knee height and fairly solitary Hardy geraniums have five purple petals that are slightly crinkled like a bedsheet hanging out to dry but if you take a closer look then you will notice that the center of the flower the basis of the petals are pure white like a stellar explosion of brilliant white light it radiates outwards towards the edges other features include dark purple and furs that protrude from the center and the plants will also have these unique unopened pointy capsules the kind of resemble stick grenades depending on how you want to look at it and how far you want to stretch simple features simple flower the petals are the tasty edible part but of course they are not much of a meal being just fractions of a calorie they've really are just there for style points the gourmet garnish for your summer salad protip as puppies reach the end of their life they leave behind these hay colored seed pods and inside set capsules are hundreds upon hundreds of these tiny black poppy seeds yes like granules of gunpowder these poppy seeds which you may often find sprinkled upon loaves of bread are edible seeds which are highly nutritious they are perhaps one of the most mineral and Mittleman dense foods that you can find out here in the wild they are mother nature's multi veer that'll have you feeling right as rain and will keep your immune system strong against the pestilence now for some epilobium her certain commonly known as the great hairy willow herb oh what's so great about all this then well it belongs to the family of plants that just keeps on giving the fire weed family it gives us food and it gives us fire growing and mass usually along the margins of lakes rivers and ponds the great hairy willow herb stands tall it stands erect with long slender furry hairy stems narrow lawn shaped leaves and a bouquet of edible purple flowers on top edible flowers that have four overlapping notch petals and inside we have five short Anthes and one long and far almost like a flower within a flower hmm very interesting like a forked tongue it wants to lick your nostrils as you sniffed a flower unlike Hardy geraniums the petals on this plant are numerous pluck em all off stack em all together like a marshmallow and that is some gourmet campfire confectionery interest in set of facts the great hairy willow herb isn't the most appetizing of names but it does go by quite a few others such as apple pie cherry pie and Cortland and cream why well if you crush the fresh leaves then they will release a sweet delicate fruity fragrance which is supposedly very similar to the smell of cod --lens which is an old English word for cooking apples and that is most pleasant it ain't often that you stumble across a bright sunny yellow fungi but look it is gorgeous I say incredibly eye-catching and most aesthetic or what you're looking at here is the stocky chhoti Technicolor fungi genus and species [ __ ] noise because it is a real [ __ ] sure out here when it comes to the tricolor bullets but I will hazard a guess list narrow it down to the ballpark I say that it is either zero chemists sub to dermis aka the suede bullet or perhaps it is zero Carmela's Christ Center on aka the cracking bullet but I cannot say with complete certainty which one and that's not just a case of cutting class and getting a snow sir as these are regarded by many as notoriously difficult types of fungi to identify based on macroscopic features alone because they are so variable in shape size and color but nevertheless that's enough of making excuses let us just admire a damn fine piece of nature a cap that starts off hemispherical but later unfolds into these wavy margins its top is covered in a light brown suede looking felty coat and underneath the cap are those ridiculously bright and vibrant yellow spongy pores and the chori goofy looking Stipe is pale yellow or turning red towards the base like many of the Technicolor bullets these will also stain a pale greeny blue teal color upon brooding hmm really got a busted unix color chart for that one but anyway whether it be the aforementioned zero chemists or as ever come Ellis either way both of those species are edible non-toxic but not a very culinary mushroom for you see the taste is rather tough and unappealing because the pores tend to fall apart rather rapidly turning into a completely slimy and soggy mush not too appealing plus once you start slicing and dicing everything turns blue and with the whole mishmash of colors the whole thing ends up looking like an oil spill which is delicious if you be paper yes it doesn't look great and it doesn't taste great but if needs must then it is food is calories it survival food providing that you can accurately and confidently identify it perf on tract assuming that this is a zero kamila squash center on which I am strongly leaning towards then cross Center on means golden intestine from the Greek crisis meaning gold and enteral meaning intestine these are names the golden intestines due to the bright yellow pores and tubes underneath the cap well well well if it ain't a little bit of chamomile a big old bunch of bad men shell [ __ ] fun fact the word chamomile means ground apple from the Greek word key mare meaning ground and me loss meaning apple kemo me loss or chamomile is named that way because it grows along the ground and smells like an apple a mushroom in which every feature is pure white and has an egg sac vulva down at the base of the stem hmm that is enough to make a man raised his eyebrow but fear not as this is not the deadly destroying angel Amanita virosa net this is Volvo potatoes gloriosa farlis aka the stubble Rose Gill or sticky heads these are special mushrooms indeed in that they are one of the only mushrooms outside of the our monitors to have an egg sac vulva a very special snowflake indeed and a color changer it typically starts off life with a bright white cone achill cap which later flattens out and turns off white and underneath it starts off with off-white pale cream-colored gills which later turned pink upon maturity hence the name Rose Gill a transition highlighted beautifully in this image on the Left we have our bright cream-colored gills and on the right we have our textbook rose pink colored gills also you will notice that the gills curve inward and they also do not touch the stem they are free gills much like our fairy rings champignons small features but they can really make or break a positive identification overall it's fiddly business and it's color-changing can be quite deceiving the only constant of the Rose gills is that most beautiful most narrow slender silky to white stem and the basal egg sac Rover a nut alone is fairly easy peazy coupled with its lack of an annulus that lack of a droopy skirt is what separates it from the Amman eaters so do be on the lookout fun fact when the caps are wet and moist they will turn incredibly sticky like glue it is visted and that's why they're called sticky heads that's the pro tips right there if you lick your finger and touch the cap if it sticks well then you are one step closer to a positive Volvo pluteus identification when the caps are dry however they are silky smooth the Volvo plate is gloriosa farlis is the name but in many field guides you may find these under the name of Volvo really a speciose er that is the old and outdated name as these underwent a name change back in 2011 which is a bit confusing but das add a cookie crumbles now these mushrooms are technically edible but you will never find anybody recommending them for two reasons number one is that they are said to have an unpleasant or unremarkable taste and number two is that this mushroom has long look-alike which just so happens to be a deadly poisonous species the destroying angel but if you know you [ __ ] then there's really no way to get them confused but you gotta have bollocks the size of boulders to get past the what if there's lurking in the back of your mind a beautiful mushroom one for observation and admiration not one for consumption on the surface these mushrooms look rather dull and unimpressive but if we flip it over then it is a whole nother story because that white milk that is being excreted from the gills tells us that this is the type of mushroom known as a milk cap a lactating latex producing fungus this particular one is the grey milk cap aka lactarius vieta's featuring predominantly graceless light brown coloured cabs with consent trick rings much like an onion or tree stump with beige colored gills underneath that will often have little white beads of latex dripping from them much like the weeping Widow there is darkness and there is light simple mushrooms easy to identify and safe to eat a bit tougher bit on the cardboard side of things but if you ain't fussy then that's big boy easy peasy protein and here's a funnel tract the king of this lactoria genus is lactoria indigo a humongous blue latex milk excreta and going off on a slight tangent here you may also be interested to know is that there are different colored variants of Amanita muscaria the fly agaric the mascot of mycology this showstopper can also be found in orange and yellow varieties slight tangent but there you go and what better way to end the day then with a lovely bunch of deaf caps oh yes that's the sweet sweet rosy aroma of liver failure oh yes let us observe it a sickly snotty phlegm colored olive Asia's cap like the colour or something you'd cough up after a good strong hearty chest infection is a bright white Skype with an annulus slash skirt three-quarters of the way up and a basal egg sac vulva hmm yes our suspicions are confirmed that is a death curve and we got in every stage of development the chute the sprout the sapling and the mighty oak Death Cap identification is straight shoo-in really all you need is the cap colour alone and the alarm bells start ringing the Angela and the vulva are the two features that really sealed the deal book quite inconveniently those are the two features that may not be visible or may not be present at all for example in young specimens the droopy skirt the annulus will typically still be attached to the gills underneath protecting them as they develop and in older specimens the annulus may have just fallen off entirely and you lie are only attached very tenuously like a wet paper bag they've really are very prone to falling apart case in point on this mighty oak there is no visible annulus there are certainly scraps of it everywhere but no it's not quite the picture-perfect portrayal that one would usually find in a field guide and Evolver the sack down at the bottom of the Stipe is often nowhere to be found either and that is because it tends to get buried beneath a couple millimeters or hell even centimeters or hell maybe even a couple of inches beneath the soil this makes life difficult and this may require you to go Indiana Jones to excavate your specimens but sometimes Omar nature really does you a solid and just hands you the picture perfect textbook example gaze upon its wonder and its aesthetics look at it a beautiful vulva an intact annulus and a hemispherical or live cap every significant feature is there and that is enough to make a man go hard beautiful though it may be let us not forget that one bite out of this cap could kill you yes the femme fatale the succubus of mycology it is very easy to overlook those lethal qualities much like we do now but for good reason I say because today we are going to be taking a few of these death caps home with us why well because today we are gonna be making some deaf caps paw prints you are son yes indeed mentioned briefly before in the episode of campus 4x12 today the dream becomes reality so join me as we disregard the warning labels and delve into the deep ends of death defying deadly works of art so we're just gonna nap this cheek and away we go right then no fuss let's get down to business first of all deaf caps produce white spores so a dark piece of colored card is required second of all we must remove the stem so that the mushroom can lay as flat as possible and once you're done for that then it is time to lay the mushroom down nice and gently onto the card easy does it ideally you want it centered there we go and now for the fun part wait 12 hours good afternoon it is the next day and we're ready to have a go now being incredibly careful not to smudge the prints lift the mushroom off the card hands there we [ __ ] go my son that is a death caps paw print and now there is actually a focus let us take a moment to appreciate just how beautiful this is it hasn't smudged or misaligned at all it is clean and pristine with straight lines that are well-defined oh we could not have asked for a better result for those wondering what this is all about this is a spore print if you leave a mushroom cap flat on a surface then its spores its seeds will drop straight down stacking on top of each other as they do so the end result is a visible print of spores a print that reflects the shape of the mushrooms gills kind of like as if the mushroom was free D printing itself the longer you leave it the more raised and pronounced the print will be and unlike plant pollen which is fine and dusty these mushroom spores are quite sticky they will clump up coalesce can stick to the paper so tap em shake em or hang them on a wall these spores are here to stay but time is of the essence we must keep going we must make the most of our death caps before they start rotting and growing out the walls so we're making a colorful collection I'm thinking a nice ghostly ethereal ectoplasmic green would go along nicely with the pale deathly spores hmm we shall see and also we're gonna bus a nice pink because you never know when you may have to worry female with mushroom spores ha yes right then I'll see you wander flip yes yes you can see from the edges that's it is done the grand reveal well I mean the print itself came out looking absolutely God Tyr very nice and clean but the color choice in hindsight was a bit of a questionable play poor hay in the right light it is visible it's subtle it's low-key it's a bit edgy I get that a B - and now for the pink Oh surprisingly that looks [ __ ] gorgeous my son look at it the areola look at how deep and how raised the print is the deep ridges and tall valleys not to blow my own trumpet but that is a job well done decent contrast a clean print and extra points this time for it actually being visible that isn't a star but time is of the essence there is still more to do the caps are just about on their last legs now so we've sliced them up and we're going for a nuclear try file could it be absolutely next-level could it be that we finally put our F grade in arts a good juice and show mrs. Teasdale does she don't know god damn [ __ ] about [ __ ] who knows we will soon find out together and while we're doing that we'll let these scraps do their thing as well so join me as we conclude our great adventure good afternoon it is the final day and we're ready to complete our collection had to stick a battery on it to keep it flat as they're now starting to dry and curl up with age so we'd best get a move on DOMA days OMA days oh my days we've only gone and managed to smudge every single one my god that is absolutely botched was mrs. Teasdale right all along my god it cannot be but as a proof of concept the nuclear try foil it's possible that's an A for effort more [ __ ] I'll take it little bit of a saving grace though the scraps that I really didn't think much of turned out to be quite bright and beautiful a little bit smudged here and there but wispy wavy and feathery its flaws and imperfections they make it unique and so the curtain closes thank you ladies and gentlemen for sitting for all that today I do hope that you have learned a lot three days and 17 hours later we got what we came for a big and bright colorful collection of death caps paw prints with our first being the absolute pride and joy ha ha upon seeing it for the first time there was a moment where time had briefly stopped and I could see everything in the you universe all at once it was a magical moment and so what's next well gotta buy some picture frames and then hang them on the wall but until there my friends it's time for me to bid you a farewell and a good afternoon so take care of my son thank you for watching and I'll see you around boys pause

Channel: AlfieAesthetics

Views: 88,942

Rating: 4.9670935 out of 5

Keywords: AlfieAesthetics, Wilderness Survival, Giant Hogweed, Poisonous Plants, Autumn Fungi, Heracleum mantegazzianum, Wild Edibles, Camping, Hiking, Outdoors, Adventure, Nature, Survival, Bushcraft, Hogweed, Deathcap, Edible Plants, Wild Food, Wildlife, Wild Camping

Id: dJRPfBWXBww

Length: 49min 12sec (2952 seconds)

Published: Fri Mar 09 2018

Reddit Comments

[u/agent_macklinFBI]

Fuck this plant.

[u/plutoniannight]

Holy shitballs. This is the stuff of nightmares.

[u/NickTheBarista13]

AlfieAesthetics is one of my favourite YouTube channels.

[u/martinjt86]

That voice though..

[u/ThirstyOne]

Fucking hell... I used to whack these things with a stick as a kid for fun because I was told they were 'bad plants'. Good thing I never got any of it on me.

[u/[deleted]]

In my native Sweden (the land of full blown insanity; where else?) I have heard of certain groups of people who are actively trying to prevent the eradication of this species (it is invasive), since they consider it "beautiful" and feels that it has all the right to live. They secretly gather seeds or even transplant the damn thing before people have the chance to cut them down.

Maybe a fitting punishment would be to throw them naked into a tight spot with lots of hogweed?