Pilots, What Crazy Things Have Happened During Flight?

flight attendants and pilots of reddit what are some things that happen mid-flight that only the crew are aware of as an air traffic controller we are constantly swearing and yelling at pilots when they're not on the frequency and then when we key up we use our nice guy voices one of my all-time favorites is a captain accidentally broadcasting his passenger briefing welcome aboard whether in Chicago and so on on frequency instead of the aircraft PA system blocking up ground ramp tower etc for a solid 15 seconds you automatically become the laughingstock of the airport herd a pilot given arrival PA to the cabin on 121.5 about 20 miles outside of my airspace once it checked in 10 seconds later told him it was the finest PA I had ever heard on guard but he might want to give it again but definitely didn't find it as funny as I did a lady who was feeling very ill crapped her pants mid-flight a very kind F they managed to get her covered in a blanket and into the bathroom with barely anyone noticing and then gave her a pair of her own pants to wear so she wouldn't be embarrassed not sure if it's been mentioned already I was learning to be cabin crew at college and in the event that someone dies on boat the CC cabin crew make it less obvious that they have passed put glasses on them maybe a hat essentially dress them up as subtle as possible to not alert and/or panic the other passengers please don't disturb my friend he's dead tired I was only a month or two out of IOE initial operating experience at my first airline job flying right seat in a regional jet I had just come back from the bathroom when the captain pointed that several flights instruments on his side had failed and he had reverted to using data from my side basically told his main flight display to start using data from the second independent system soon however that went bad too the autopilot disconnected and here we were at 25,000 featuring also a maizing and flying off a tiny little combined last-ditch backup instrument called an IE sigh integrated electronic standby instrument if memory serves we declared an emergency asked ATC to point us in the direction of better weather and tried to figure out what the heck was happening icing on both primary pitot tubes maybe though that shouldn't happen they are heated in any case we ended up making a perfectly safe landing after a diversion and the passengers never had any idea that for a few minutes I was really concerned that things were about to turn very very bad in that we went down to our emergency backup gauge that's the shortened version without most of the technobabble anyway I've got an original one for you all there is a radio frequency we all are required to monitor it's called guard it's for emergency use and is designed for Maydays and for air traffic control to reach aircraft that may have lost radio contact or to relay messages from aircraft to other aircraft etc every day this frequency is abused you will hear hundreds of professional aviators meowing yelling obscenities at each other and making fun of one airline or another often times what will start it as some poor guy accidentally transmitting his PA announcement to passengers on the guard frequency followed by the very mature outbreaks for about five ten minutes it's the worst on the East Coast the scariest moment of my day is when the effe opens the internal bag door the closet we all throw in our overnight bags in without calling us in the flight deck first that ding and master caution gets me every time airplane be like oh crap someone opened a frickin internal door I know there's probably more to it than that but there's a special frequency called guard that all aircraft are supposed to monitor it's for emergencies or for when an aircraft ends up on a wrong frequency and the controllers need to get contact with them to change them to the right frequency it's full of pilots meowing at each other and people accidentally asking for gate assignments and making other radio calls pilot here we only get paid when the doors are closed and the pushback has commenced if we're delayed all sitting with the door open we're just as annoyed as you are at altitude we're constantly in contact with air traffic control and change to different center frequencies or control for other than us locations we're also doing fuel checks to make sure the fuel burn isn't abnormal dodging weather and probably bitching about scheduling ex airline employee here often we'd have someone on board with terrible body odor you can set the temperature in one end of the cabin hotter and it localized the smell to one part of the plane if you see coffee filter bags hanging anywhere it's because someone smells like open but somewhere on the plane Fars often talk about the hot guy and 23b or whatever seat is in pilots freak around a lot up front they'll take pictures post on FB watch movies Automation has taken over a lot of the work on long flights , the same mop that mops the lamp mops the galley that's seriously nasty not an airline pilot yet just got hired by my first airline and start class next month but I've been a pilot for six years I primarily teach Chinese airline pilots how to fly but I've done some passenger operations in business aircraft on the side first of all all the comments about pilots making cat sounds and Chewbacca noises is 100% true also whenever someone leaves an area and switches frequencies they yell see yarn then a dozen other pilots will key up yelling CEO one after another we also enjoy talking crap about people who say with you got em on the fishfinder any traffic please advice and tree and five also the things that scare passengers don't phase the pilots one bit we don't give a crap about turbulence or having to do our go around the things I don't like are things you generally won't know about thunderstorm dodging microburst alerts ice maintenance issues etc pilot here late to the party as usual but sometimes the passengers may be having a nice quiet flight in the back while the pilots are upfront dodging thunderstorms and yelling their heads off we will not only transport dead bodies but also live transplants like hearts and lungs I particularly like the live transplants because we get to cut to the front of the line for takeoff and we get all the short cuts to our destination tip for those who get motion sickness try not to move your head around pilots move their eyes instead of their heads to look at the instruments in the flight deck also try to sit in a seat over the wing this area of the plane doesn't rotate as much during climbs and descents flight attendants can't do pilots job but pilots can't do flight attendants jobs for sure we aren't hired for our people skills don't take off your shoes to go to the bathroom people pee on the floor all the time it amazes me when I see people walk into an airplane bathroom without their shoes on an instructor told me that he and his training buddy both fell asleep for about 45 minutes at the same time while gaining hours for licensing the plane was in complete autopilot mode clear skies zero turbulence they both swore if they have a flu again they would hand off sleep like handing off the controls I wish I had someone to hand me off in my sleep my uncle was a pilot he says that most people don't understand how much of the airplane is run by computers the pilots are necessary but a lot of the elements of flying are automated nowadays there's a joke about the Airbus a380 that goes the a380 comes with a pilot and a dog the pilot is there to feed the dog the dog is there to bark at the pilot if he tries to touch anything pilot is sleeping and copilot is flying and there are dead bodies in the cargo source my mom who is a former flight attendant on longer flights bigger airplanes they even have a special room where the flight crew can get some sleep don't fly with an ear infection or fluid in your ears there is a chance you can rupture your eardrum flight screws are especially susceptible to the since we are constantly going through pressurization and depressurisation when we work I used to travel a lot for work and I made this mistake thinking I wasn't that sick I could feel the pressure slowly leave my inner ear during ascent during decent Maya's wouldn't equalize and I thought they were going to implode that was a very painful five days of antibiotics while I was waiting for the infection to go away enough that my ears could equalize again there's a 600 page book in the cockpit with every single thing that can possibly go wrong from a bulb going out to an engine falling off a biohazard or a bomb threat well not everything pilot here most of the time the passengers are not given the full answer on why a flight is delayed or canceled Airlines will typically blame cancellations on unrelated events whether instead of mechanical issues so they don't have to pay for hotel rooms meals etc also chemtrails are not real for those of you who believe they are real give your head a shake FA here at mid-flight I noticed a strange thing with one of the slides was not armed properly and had an issue with it however we landed safely and nobody of the packs knew nothing flying Paris comma Seattle normal an eventful flight I don't think there was Wi-Fi available on the flight when we land we are greeted by tons of heavily armed National Guard police sir canines the Paris terror attacks happened about an hour or so into our flight passengers had no idea that the attack had happened until everyone got cell phone reception and floods of are you ok texts I assume the crew knew the whole time as soon as it happened never said a word about it pilot here God frequency is basically pilot read it it's just people meowing and making fart noises it's literally set up to monitor for aircraft in distress emergencies or radio as being in the wrong frequency but it's so safe here in the US to fly that it's basically one big mean a former teacher told us a story that fits the question every year he would make trips to Europe that were for an educational experience or related to the subject he taught in one way or another in reality it was just an amazing way to spend two weeks in Europe one year he took a student's brother with since he needed an extra person to have the minimum amount of required students after the 10-hour flight the flight attendant walks up to him and asks if said brother was a part of his group he says yes apparently on the flight he stopped the flight attendant and asked her to have sex with him in the bathroom she denied but he continued to ask her several more times through the flight it reached a point to where she no longer felt anywhere near comfortable she asked my teacher if she could notify the authorities and have him sent back to the States he agreed there were no immediate flights back home so a distant relative of his had to be contacted he stayed with a relative he had never even met for an entire weekend he was then put on a flight back home the following week teacher dodged a bullet of having to deal with him for two weeks in Europe flight attendants don't get paid on the ground only flying hours are paid we are slave labor on the ground and duties are continually added to our and paid work time because the company knows they don't have to pay us we show up two to three hours before we even start getting paid on some days we will work up to 14 hours and only get paid for five or six or those hours it should be illegal please be kind when you are boarding the plane and getting all pissy about your bags et Cie the flight attendant is a volunteer while she is helping you on the ground she is essentially doing you a favor I don't understand how this is legal or how it's justified it's not like you're not working before the plane pulls back from the gate that the captain had a heart attack and passed away mid-flight Cyndi's the reason we have to have an unscheduled stop not to refuel we sat in a backed-up queue for hours in Denver one time the weather had the airport socked in nobody was going anywhere until this giant supercell cleared the end of the runway during that time suddenly there appeared in mechanic's at the front of the cabin on the PA holding up a two-foot long piece of metal he had pulled from one of the tires he explained if the plane hadn't been sitting waiting he might have never spotted it it could have come flying out during takeoff roll and penetrated the plane's wing igniting fuel or whatever everyone sheared him what a hero he possibly saved our lives to this day I have no idea why they let him come on board and tell us this to make you less pee about the delay former flight attendant here landing gear got stuck on decent we flew in circles for ages just waiting to see find out if we needed to crash land or not luckily the gear eventually came down passengers never knew something was wrong one time I accidentally spilled coffee creamer on a bald dudes head while he was sleeping during service myself and everyone around him silently agreed to say nothing he looked as if a bird pooped on his head I still feel guilty about it never drink the coffee I have never seen those machines cleaned the pots get cleaned with CLR when they're removed and sent for repair hope that helps you feel better source I'm an avionics technician clean the pots while working at an FAA repair station fa here crop dusting basically farting whilst we walk down the aisle due to the bloating if you fly frequently there's a high chance and far has farted right by your head as they walked down the aisle this is another reason I always go for the window seat ex ground crew here on a Boeing 777 300 earlier the back galley there is a hidden door that his aprox 24 inches wide once you open that or there is a small staircase that brings you to the crew rest area where there are a few beds my cousin is a flight attendant it's not mid-flight but airplane lines will fly attendants all over the country just in case they're needed elsewhere my cousin had to fly out from Portland to Seattle and some other places all in one trip never having to work also if you are sick you have to show up anyway and let the people in charge decide if you can file not if you don't you get three warnings then you're fired I've had a flight delayed because they were flying in more flight attendants whose flight was also delayed this was like two days after the underwear bomber I've had one near collision in my 11 year airline career but have had a few TCAs traffic avoidance collision system warnings where the other pilot or myself depending on who was flying at the time have had to comply with the airplanes instructions to climb or descent to avoid another airplane career pilots and former instructor check airman here if you ever see a crazy in or panics passenger trying to open an emergency exit in flight up at altitude don't worry just laugh and enjoy the show they won't get that crap open guaranteed most airplane doors enter exits et Cie are called clogged doors meaning the door is bigger than the opening at occupies at cruise altitude a typical jet will hold a cab in the fer NC and their difference between outside air and inside air so figure the surface area of the door in square inches and then multiply by 8/8 the resulting figure will be in the thousands of pounds and no one will ever pull it open and speaking of pressurization I know all you passengers think you're breathing the same air for xx hours that's true only to an extent I think you probably get sick on a flight not so much because of the air it's the things you touch how often do you think the interior is wiped down and disinfected oh sure trash gets picked up et Cie but it's on the order of months between real cleanings if ever no how you get off a plane and the hair on the back of your head feels greasy yep jets are not airtight they're pressurized huge difference we are pressurized because of a constant controlled leak through what is called the outflow valve so you're always getting fresh air from the engines yes that's right from the engines the engines compress air very very well prior to burning the air with jet fuel kerosene let's call a jet engine for what it is one big open-ended diesel engine diesel kerosene heating oil et Cie all are very closely related the air we use for pressurization air conditioning is tapped off father compressor stage of the engine and fun fact it exits the engine told the cabin at about 400 600 degrees Celsius well jet aircraft have air conditioning packs pressurization and air conditioning kit and ACMs air cycle machines the pack is so good at what it does that by the time the conditioned air is entering the cabin it's near freezing and has to be made warmer otherwise you'd look like Jack Nicholson at the end of the shining within about 20 minutes lol I worked with a pilot that was really old he couldn't stay awake in flight the first officer kept having to poke him and wake him up we kept feeding him black coffee but it didn't help much I asked him if he was retiring soon but he said he couldn't afford it because our airline has no pension program and the pay scale is pathetic pretty scary my boyfriend is a pilot on a phenom 300 people that fly in his jet are constantly having sex they drink and have raunchy sex while him and his captain have to sit there and listen because it's only a curtain and not a door they leave used condoms and cm stains all the time he is the unlucky one that has to Clorox wipe it all off when they get out also when his passengers are annoying and drinking he will decrease the cabin pressure so the alcohol hits then much harder and they go to sleep nobody has ever pronounced dead on a commercial flight the crew will perform CPR until the body is removed from the plane otherwise the coroner's office can impound the aircraft for days until their investigation is complete if a physician on board declares the patient dead well bummer for the airline more than once I came into work to find a deceased passenger in the locker room waiting for the coroner to pick the body also dead people are transported as cargo on commercial flights we refer to them as human remains if you see a long rectangular cardboard box the size of a coffin being carefully loaded into a cargo bin by several rampers its human remains not a pilot or FA but once when I was flying to Chicago we had some mechanical problems it sounded like an engine went out the pilot got on the mic and said that the reverse thrusters went out in one of the engines and we needed to make an unscheduled stop somewhere in BF e the plane landed but took a really long time to start we all were put on another plane going to Chicago and were told to just grab an open seat I later asked a pilot friend of mine about that I wondered why a problem with the reverse thruster in an engine would be caused to make an emergency landing he told me that it wasn't the reverse thrusters get pressurized when the landing gear goes down so they can't be used mid-flight there is nothing serious about them going out that would require an emergency stop he then told me that the pilot lied to us as it was probably something much more serious like the engine going out just like I thought I might be a little wrong on the details since this was almost 10 years ago I could see that as a let's avoid an emergency landing let's land out here in BF e with a long runway and look traffic we're landing without reverse thrust is not an issue let's not take a plane with passengers and wonky reverse thrust into Midway in the rain or snow smart risk management not a crew member but I can give you something interesting big planes have some fancy systems dedicated to giving pilots info on the movement off claims that are very nearby and providing instructions to avoid collisions called tcas if another plane ever gets close enough to the one you want to make TCAs yell at the pilots to perform an evasive maneuver you'll probably never know TCAs issues a few levels of warnings that start when claims are still quite far apart allowing pilots to respond to these rare situations with much gentler maneuvers than a layman might expect no need for haiji stuff that would make the plane harder to control and disturb the path just an innocuous climb or descent that we'd loss right over in the back it's not radar it's part of the transponder and is just two aircrafts transponders talking to each other and giving them altitude readouts in direction based on bearing from a directional antenna you seem to be insinuating that a resolution advisory happens regularly when it doesn't that's only a last resort if ATC Frisch's up and the pilots have to separate themselves an uncle who was a BA first officer captain's B as he put it on Concorde 1987 North Atlantic just south of Greenland 1140 is fifty five thousand feet per military radars a flight off Soviet fighters were practicing intercepts against it the captain himself didn't know until they were informed on the ground I'd have gone to flight level 62 and got asked to at least 1200 if I'd have known nobody short of an sr-71 could intercept that not a pilot and didn't happen in flight but I saw the pilot watching P in the cockpit on a laptop when boarding the plane felt very inappropriate definitely absolutely without question of pilot Spirit Airlines doesn't actually have planes they put you on a bus and catapult it across the planet an arguably more ambitious featurings than flying a plane so inside a cockpit when we flew back home from Orlando to Norway and the pilot was asleep I kinda freaked out for a second but the attendee said it's normal it freaked me out too much then the second copilot waved at me and said hello in some other language i air-traffic controller here some of my favorites things we catch pilots doing is when they accidentally key up and give the cabin brief on the emergency frequencies instead of their internal comms it's inevitably followed by string of people keying up to say air on guard for about a minute not a pilot but interested in aviation in case of emergencies a pilot puts in a skort code and they all have different meanings 7500 hijackings 7600 radio malfunction 7700 emergency also 7500 flames formation with jet 7680 sea shuts up 7700 priority landing everywhere I've heard the mnemonic has 75 taken alive 76 radio glitch 77 going to heaven I kind of prefer that even if it is a little morbid as a pilot I can say that sometimes at a certain altitude you will see your evil clown standing on the wing the best thing to do is ignore it and pull the visor down and try not to look at it or listen to its manic laughter there is an alarming amount of things that can be broken in upon a male minimum equipment list and the airplane can still fly if you 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Channel: Internet Is Fun

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Id: p502nZBHNxQ

Length: 25min 5sec (1505 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 20 2020