RICK HARRISON:
Chum, didn't, like, sagging and showing
your underwear, like, end in the '90s? Pull your pants up. I had to match my underwear
and my shoes to your rosy red cheeks today [CHUCKLES]. [CHUCKLES] Was that supposed to be funny? It's funny that you're
checking out Chum's underwear. Enough with being a
comedian, all right? I mean, I think I could
write some material. I mean, I'm pretty funny. You sure about that, man? I don't know if you're
necessarily a comedian. AUSTIN 'CHUMLEE'
RUSSELL: Why are you guys acting like haters? RICK HARRISON:
You land one joke. It does not make you a comedian. OK, you stand up on stage. It's a completely
different world. Bah humbug. OK, why are you
saying bah humbug? Because that's what
you're acting like-- Scrooge right now. And it ain't even
close to Christmas. Oh, another one. I just wrote that
right now in my head. Antwaun? What up, man? AUSTIN 'CHUMLEE' RUSSELL:
You think I'm funny, right? ANTWAUN AUSTIN: Yeah.
- Yeah. You interrupted my
lunch to say that? AUSTIN 'CHUMLEE'
RUSSELL: The guys all think I'm funny, but not
funny enough to be a comedian. Just wait, because I've been
working on some new material that will speak for itself. What's the deal with chips? I mean, what's
the deal with air. I thought it was free, until
I opened up a bag of chips. I mean, jeez, have you
seen how much is in there? Yeah? OK. Give me another one. Another joke-- [SIGHS]. What do you call a woman
that flies an airplane? A pilot. OK, OK. How come a leopard can't
play hide and seek? Because he's always spotted. [CHUCKLING] Hey, did you hear about
the scarecrow that won a lifetime achievement award? No. Yeah, he was
outstanding in his field. That's-- that's
a good one, Chum. COREY HARRISON: What
the hell's going on? I'm gonna be a
stand-up comedian. COREY HARRISON:
Well, why don't you stand up and get to work now? All right, but-- COREY HARRISON: So let's go. Have you heard about
the guy who lost his-- COREY HARRISON: Get-- get--
No. You heard about the
guy who left his-- No.
No. No. ANTWAUN AUSTIN: He was
pretty good, Corey. COREY HARRISON: Don't
encourage him, Antwaun. Yo, Travy Trav. What up, big time? Open mic night, Wolf Theater. Chum daddy's gonna perform. What are you doing, karaoke? No, I'm gonna be
a stand-up comedian. No way. Yeah. You're gonna be a what? Stand-up comedian. You want to come, big hoss? He's already a comedian here. RICK HARRISON: This
is just not a joke. I mean, you have to have jokes
that everyone understands. I mean, be prepared. People might heckle you. You know-- The world is my stage, Rick. I'm on it every single
day, so I'll be just fine. You know, you got to
be prepared to maybe have your feelings hurt. Or after this, Dave Chapelle
could call me up and be like, yo, I want to hire you. Want to have fun? Come see Chum. AUSTIN 'CHUMLEE' RUSSELL:
You like that catch line? RICK HARRISON: Oh,
this is gonna be good. I can count on you to
be there, right, big hoss? RICK HARRISON: Oh,
I'll be there, buddy. I'll come, Chum. I will be there for
moral support, I guess. Or to pick up the pieces. [LAUGHTER] [APPLAUSE] MC: I-- I got a special
treat for you guys. This is his first time
going up on stage. He's a local here in Vegas. Give it up for my
friend, Chumlee. [CHEERING] Hey, Las Vegas, how
you doing tonight? [CHEERING] All right, well, thanks
for coming out here. I know there's a
lot of other shows you could have attended in
Las Vegas, but let's face it. You're all just too
poor to attend them. [LAUGHTER] So I work in this pawnshop
with this old guy, my boss, Nick, and my friend, Big House. I mean, this guy is such a
bad-ass he drives a Harley right up to the trailer. Then drives the
trailer to a bike show to show off the Harley. [LAUGHTER] No, but really, he's a bad-ass. He goes to the grocery
store, gets two free samples, and gets away with it. No, I'm just kidding, though. My buddy, Big House, just lost
to a bunch of weight recently. Now if he could just get a
personality, some good looks, a hobby, self-respect, a
hug, and some good hair, I think he'd be all right. [LAUGHTER] Big house. Yeah, someone's on toilet
duty at the pawn shop. AUSTIN 'CHUMLEE' RUSSELL: My
third boss, Nick, you wouldn't believe how fat and bald he is. I mean, when he's
in the restrooms, people are using the back of
his head to check their hair. [LAUGHTER] See, my boss, he claims
to know everything, but apparently he doesn't
know the food pyramid. [LAUGHTER] I have to admit. Some of his jokes
were pretty good. The ones about Corey,
anyway, were really good. Hey, what's goin' on, guys? AUSTIN 'CHUMLEE' RUSSELL:
Hey, what did you guys think? You're lucky the
old man wasn't here, because he doesn't
take a joke that well. Well, there was nothing
in there about him, so. They're fictional
characters that I made up-- Sure. --for my stand-up comedy. All right, all
right [INAUDIBLE].. Well, you did good, buddy,
but don't quit your day job yet, all right? All right, you guys want
to go get something to eat? No. I-- I have a whole complex
about my weight now.
