>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY,
WELCOME BACK! LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, IF YOU
LIKE MY FIRST GUEST TONIGHT, YOU'RE IN LUCK, BECAUSE IN HIS
NEW SHOW, THERE'S TWO OF HIM. PLEASE WELCOME THE ONE, THE
ONLY, PAUL RUDD. ♪ ♪ ♪<i>
( APPLAUSE )</i> >> HOW NICE. <i> ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )</i>
>> ALL RIGHT. >> Stephen: PAUL RUDD,
EVERYBODY, LOOK AT THAT, DELIGHTFUL. >> THAT'S VERY, VERY, VERY--
VERY, VERY NICE. UNCALLED FOR, BUT THANK YOU. I APPRECIATE IT. >> Stephen: NOT AT ALL. PEOPLE LOVE PAUL RUDD. NOW I TEASED THE SHOI "LIVING
WITH YOURSELF" WHAT DOES THAT MEAN THERE ARE TWO OF YOU IN THE
SHOI? >> I GET CLONED. THERE ARE TWO CHARACTERS NAMED
MILES ELLIOT, BUT I UNWITTINGLY GIT CLONED. I DON'T REALIZE I'M GETTING
CLONED. I THINK I'M GETTING A SPA
TREATMENT. >> Stephen: WOW. >> YAY. >> Stephen: THAT IS-- THAT IS
A NEW DEFINITION OF "FULL RELEASE" RIGHT THERE. <i> ( LAUGHTER ).</i> >> SO-- YOU SAID IT. AND THEN I WAKEIP. NEXT THING I KNOW I'M WAKING UP
IN A GRAVE, AND THEN I FIND OUT WHEN I GET BACK TO MY HOUSE THAT
I AM ACTUALLY THERE, AND THE NEW AND IMPROVED VERSION OF ME IS AT
MY HOUSE. >> Stephen: AND YOU PLAY BOTH. YOU PLAY BOTH OF YOU. >> I PLAY BOTH OF ME. >> Stephen: OBVIOUSLY, PRIME
LOVE ONE PAUL RUDD. TWO PAUL RUDDS--<i>
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )</i> THE MATH GOES LIKE THIS: ONE
PAUL RUDD IS GOOD. TWO PAUL RUDDS IS BETTER. WOULDN'T THREE PAUL RUDDS BE
BEST. DIDN'T YOU STOP ONE PAUL RUDD
SHORT? >> I DON'T THINK THEY DID. SOME PEOPLE MIGHT SAY THEY WENT
TOO, TOO MANY. >> Stephen: HOW DO YOU FEEL
ABOUT WATCHING BOTH OF YOU ON SCREEN? IS THERE ONE OF THE CHARACTERS
YOU LIKE MORE? >> NO. IT'S-- YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES IT'S
HARD TO WATCH YOURSELF ON SCREEN. THIS ONE'S PARTICULAR LIE ROUGH
BECAUSE I HAVE TO BE JUDGMENTAL TOWARDS TWO PERFORMANCES. AND IT'S-- YOU KNOW, I JUST CAN
GIT CRITICAL OVER EACH CHOICE. SOY IT'S KIND OF DOUBLE THE
PAIN. >> Stephen: DO YOU NORMAL LIE
NOT WATCH YOURSELF? >> NOTICE, I'LL WATCH IT. USUALLY I'LL WATCH IT WHEN IT'S
BEING EDITED OR DONE, BUT AFTER, THAT I TEND TO LET IT GO. I DON'T REALLY PAY ATTENTION. >> Stephen: YOU DON'T HAVE
PAUL RUDD FILM FESTIVALS IN YOUR HOUSE. >> NO, I DON'T. >> Stephen: COME OEVERYBODY! >> NO, I JUST SIT AT THE
COMPUTER AND WATCH CLIPS. LAYOFF LAUGH ONLY KID. >> Stephen: SOY THIS IS--
WHAT'S YOUR CHARACTER'S NAME, MILES? >> MILES, YEAH. >> Stephen: NOW, THERE'S A
NEW-AND-IMPROVED MILES IN THIS. IF YOU COULD IMPROVE PAUL RUDD--
LET'S-- LET'S BRING THIS HOME. LET'S MAKE THIS REAL. LET'S GET OUR FINGERS UNDERNEATH
THIS. >> ALL RIGHT, LET'S DO IT! >> Stephen: LIGHTS EXPLORE
THAT FEELING. IF YOU COULD IMPROVE PAUL RUDD
WHAT, WOULD YOU CHANGE? >> I THINK I WOULD BE 6'2". <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
AS OPPOSED TO 6'1". <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
>> Stephen: ARE YOU SI 6'1"? >> NO, I'M 5'10". >> Stephen: OKAY. >> BUT IT WOULD BE NICE. >> Stephen: SURE. >> 6'2" SEEMS LIKE THAT'S A GOOD
HEIGHT. HOW TALL ARE YOU? >> Stephen: 6'2". >> OF COURSE, YOU ARE! ARE YOU 6'2". >> Stephen: NO, NOTICE, I AM
5'11". AND I AM ONE OF LIVE KIDS, AND
NONE OF US MADE IT TO SIX FEET, AND I WAS DETERMINED TO BE SIX
FEET. BUT MY BOYS ARE BOTH OVER SIX
FEET TALL. DO YOU HAVE KIDS? >> MY SON IS 15. HE'S TALLER THAN MY. I JUST HAD THIS MEMORY. WHEN I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL, I
MADE A FAKE I.D., AND I WAS SO DUMB I PUT MY HYPOTHETICAL AT
FIVE, 12. THAT WAS ACTUALLY-- THANKS. I SHOULD HAVE-- I SHOULD HAVE--
I SHOULD SAY IT WASN'T EYE DIDN'T DO IT FOR MYSELF. I DID IT FOR MY FRIEND JEFF
RECOGNIZE. I DIDN'T KNOW HOW TALL HE WAS. BY THE WAY, IN A TYPE WRITER. IT LOOKS TYPED. I EVEN-- I EVEN MESSED UP AND OF
AND PUT WHITE-OUT ON ONE THING AND TYPED ANOTHER THING AND YOU
CAN SEE THE WHITE-OUT. AND I USED THESE-- WE USED THESE
FAKE I.D.s TO GO TO FLORIDA FOR SPRING BREAK. >> Stephen: DID THEY WORK? DID THEY WORK? >> I TOOK A COPY OF THE STATE
SEAL OF FLORIDA, BLACK AND WHITE ZERO OXED COPY, PUT IT ON THE
BACK, JUST THE STATE SIEL. I REMEMBER GIVING IT-- WE WERE
ALL NERVOUS. WE WENT TO SOME BAR AND GAVE IT
TO THE BOUNCER. AND HIGHS LIKE, "COME ON." AND THE OWNER COMES OIFER AND
LOOKS AT IT AND FLIPPEDZ IT OVER AND SAYS, "WHAT? THERE'S A STATE SEAL. IT'S REAL." LAYOFF LAUGH<i>
( APPLAUSE ).</i> >> Stephen: IN FLORIDA--
>> IN FLORIDA. >> Stephen: IN FLORIDA IF
YOU'RE TALL ENOUGH TO PUT A SCRAP OF PAPER THAT SAYS 21 ON
THE COUNTER, THEY LET YOU INTO THE TRIP CLUB. >> HE GOES 5-12, HUH? >> Stephen: DID YOU MAKE A LOT
OF FAKE I.D.s FOR YOUR FRINDZ? WERE YOU THAT GUY? >> NOTICE, I DID IT FOR A GROUP
OF BUDDIES. WE WENT ON SPRING BREAK. I DON'T KNOW HOW I GOT TASKED AT
DOING IT-- I PROBABLY VOLUNTEERED. THEY WERE TERRIBLE. I DON'T THINK WE EVER USED THEM
AGAIN AFTER THAT. >> Stephen: HOW OLD WERE YOU
IN SPRING BREAK? >> I WAS IN HIGH SCHOOL. SENIOR YEAR IN HIGH SCHOOL. >> Stephen: THAT DOES NOT
SOUND LIKE IT ENDED UP BEING, LIKE, A HAPPY STORY. BOYS FROM HIGH SCHOOL GOING TO
SPRING BREAK IN FLORIDA. IT SOUNDS LIKE YOU GUYS COULD
BASICALLY, LIKE, GET ROILED FOR CASH AND LIFT IN AN ALLY. >> IT WAS SAD BECAUSE I THINK WE
WENT TO A PLACE WHERE THERE REALLY WASN'T A SPRING BREAK. THERE WEREN'T, LIKE, OTHER KIDS. <i> ( LAUGHTER ).</i> >> Stephen: HIGH WENT TO BOCA. >> WE WENT TO SOME PLACE-- I
THINK WE WENT TO SOME PLACE INLAND. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
>> Stephen: OKAY-- >> AND THE BAR WE WENT TO WAS,
YOU KNOW, LIKE A SENIOR FROGS OR SOME LAME --
>> Stephen: THEY'RE A RESPONSOR. SOY WE HAVE A CLIP HERE. CAN YOU TAIL MY WHAT'S GOING ON. YOU GUYS ARE DRIVING. IS THERE ANYTHING ELSE? PEOPLE NEED TO STAY HYDRATED. >> IT'S IMPORTANT. AT THIS ILLIVATION. IN THIS CLIP-- OH, IN THIS CLIP,
I AM DRIVING WITH MYSELF, AND I'M KIND OF-- I HAVE JUST FOUND
OUT ABOUT THIS CLONE. AND WE'RE LEARNING A LITTLE BIT
ABOUT EACH OTHER, BUT WE'RE-- WE'RE UNSURE OF THIS WHILE
PROCESS. IT'S ALL STILL VERY NEW TO US. >> Stephen: OKAY, JIM. >> SEVENTH GRADE. LIKE VALLEY OVERNIGHT. SEVEN MINUTES IN HEAVEN. I COULDN'T UNDO THE BRA STRAP
OF...? >> OH--
>> SHE TOILD THE WHOLE SCHOOL ABOUT IT. >> I KNOW, I KNOW SHY DID. UH... UH-- HAIR COLOR? >> BLOND. >> YEAH, YAY. FIRST INITIAL. >> "E." >> FIRST INITIAL LAST NAME. >> "E"--
>> OH, GOD. IT'S NOT SOY EASY IS IT? >> NOTICE, I KNOW IT. IT'S-- IT'S ELLEN. >> ELLEN! ELLEN UH-- UHM, HAUL SOMETHING. >> HALTER? >> HALTER. >> HALTHER. >> ELLEN HALTHER. >> Stephen: SOY YOU GUYS GIT
ALONG? >> WELL, IT'S VERY UNSETTLING. WE DO IN THE MOMENT. WE KIND OF HIT IT OFF. >> Stephen: WHICH ONE OF THOSE
IS THE IMPRIVED ONE? >> THE ONE WITHOUT THE GLASSES. >> Stephen: OF COURSE. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
>> Stephen: TOM HANKS SAID RECENTLY HE'LL NEVER PLAY A
VILLAIN, BECAUSE HE CAN'T ACTUALLY PROJECT THAT KIND OF MA
11 LANCE THROUGH A CHARACTER. I DON'T SEE YOU-- I DON'T
REMEMBER YOU EVER PLAYING A VILLAIN. DO YOU THINK YOU COULD PLAY A
BAD GUY. YOU PLAYED TROUBLED PRIME, I
SPOIZ. >> I DID THIS MOVIE CALLED
"MUTE,--" THANK YOU. THAT. >> Stephen: THEY MADE NOTICE
SOUND IN HONOR OF THE TITLE. >> YOU GUYS ARE GOOD. WOW! <i> ( APPLAUSE )</i>
AND I WASN'T SUCH A NICE DUDE IN THAT ONE. BUT FOR THE MOST PART, I NEVER
REALLY SEEM TO GET CAST AS BAD GUYS. GO FIGURE. <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
BUT-- BUT THAT'S-- I FEEL LIKE I COULD GET IN TOUCH WITH THE MA
11 LANCE. >> Stephen: I CAN'T EVEN
PICTURE GETTING MAD. >> I GET SOY MAD. >> Stephen: REALLY? >> YAY, I GET FURIOUS AT THINGS. THINGS THAT ARE EVEN MILD LIE
ANNOYING TO PEOPLE. >> Stephen: WHAT MAKES YOU
FURIOUS? >> UHM... <i> ( LAUGHTER )</i>
NO, I-- THIS MADE MY FURIOUS. AND IT HAPPENED ABOUT-- JUST A
COUPLE OF DAYS AGO. I'M GETTING MAD ALREADY THINKING
ABOUT IT. I WAS IN-- AT THE AIRPORT IN
HUDSON NEWS, AND YOU KNOW THEY HAVE THE BOOK DISNRAIS? >> Stephen: YAY, YAY. >> I LOOKED IN THERE, AND ALL OF
A SUB THERE ARE JUST ALL OF THESE BOOKS AND THEY ALL HAVE
TITLES LIKE, "THE SUBTLE ART OF NOT GIVING A ( BLEEP )." ALL OF THEM HAVE, LIKE, BAD
WORDS IN THIM, AND, LIKE, I DON'T-- YOU KNOW, "HOW TO NOT
GIVE A ( BLEEP ) ABOUT PEOPLE." OR WHATEVER THEY ARE. AND IT JUST SEEMED SO-- I'M A
FAN OF PROFANITY. LIKE, I LOVE IT. >> Stephen: DOESN'T SEEM LIKE
IT. >> OH, NO, NOTICE. >> Stephen: IT DOESN'T SEEM
LIKE IT. THE THING THAT MAKES YOU MOST
FURIOUS IS OTHER PRIME USING PROFANITY DOESN'T SEEM LIKE
YOU'RE A FAN OF PROFANITY. >> I USE PROFANITY ALL THE TIME
AROUND MY KIDS. I LIKE IT. I THINK IT'S FUNNY. I THINK IT'S GOOD, WHEN IT'S
CRATE AND I HAVE GRATE AND NOT LAZY AND HACK I. AND ALL OF THESE BOOKS ARE ON
DISPLAY FOR CHILDREN. I KNOW FOR A FACT I GOT BLEEPED
WHEN I SAID THAT. >> Stephen: BECAUSE IT'S CBS! >> BUT, WHAT, "HUDSON NEWS" IS
BETTER THAN CBS. THEY CAN JUST PUT THEIR DISPLAYS
OF THIS-- THERE ARE CHILDREN T.I. AIRPORT! >> Stephen: WILL SOY THE BOOK
TITLES DON'T HAVE ASTERISKS OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT? >> MAYBE ONE FOR THE "U." >> Stephen: BUT THE KIDS KNOW. >> IT SEEMS LAYS-- EXACT LIE,
THIS DOESN'T UPSET ANYBODY ELSE. BUT I WAS FURIOUS. >> Stephen: IS ANYONE ELSE
UPSET ABOUT THIS? <i> ( APPLAUSE ).</i> >> Stephen: THEY DO NOT MEAN
IT. >> I CAN'T STAND THAT! DO NOT PATRONIZE ME! HAS ANYBODY SEEN THIS TRENDALATE
LIE? IT'S ALL CUTE AND GIMMICKY. ( BLEEP ) THOSE AUTHORS AND
( BLEEP ) THEIR BOOKS! <i> ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )</i>
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A LITTLE BIT OF A BREAK. WHEN WE COME BACK, I WILL ASK
ABOUT HIS MARVEL ROLE AS ANT MAN AND THE FUTURE OF HIS ABS. STICK AROUND.
