Speaker Johnson Gets Spanked | Nobody Wins Nevada GOP Primary | Trump’s Pick To Run The RNC

welcome one and all to the latu I'm your host Stephen colar you know folks I if you w if you watch this show and I hope you do you know that I give Republicans in the Congress a hard time but every every so often I know but every so often you got to just step back and appreciate how much harder of a time they give themselves because recently their stupid levels have reached critical dumb and earlier earlier this week under orders from Donald Trump they rejected their own border deal that they demanded four months ago in exchange for Aid to Ukraine and instead yesterday they decided to impeach Secretary of Homeland Security Alejandro mayorcas who most Americans could not pick out of a lineup including you because this is not Alejandro mayorcas but in fact it's just an image one of my writers found by Googling the words bald man in suit the real the actual Target of this impeachment was actual Homeland Security security secretary and bald man in suit Alejandro mayorcas the vote uh was called by house speaker and man in the commercial who has the confidence to shake hands again after taking SE Alis Mike Johnson the the the GOP uh you'll remember has just a razor thin majority in the house so clearly speaker Johnson would bring this to the floor for a vote only if he knew with absolute certainty they had the votes to and they lost Mike Johnson are you definitely against porn cuz you sure like getting spanked while everyone watches holding a vote without knowing the vote count is a rookie mistake that Nancy Pelosi would never have made and afterwards this is how Pelosi described Johnson's leadership poo poo thank you thank you madam so succinct here here here's here's what happened uh Republicans thought they could lose three of their votes and still win the impeachment vote but they did not count on the heroic return of Texas democratic congressman and businessman werewolf Al Green the GOP was counting on green not showing up because he was in the hospital recovering from abdominal surgery but he learned about the impeachment vote while watching tele divion so he grabbed an Uber to the capital that takes a lot of guts some of which might still be in the back of that Uber then he arrived on the floor of Congress still in a hospital gown with no shoes he it turns out he was wearing one boot but he left it in Mike Johnson's ass anyway thank you thank you my friend anyway where were we Okay g uh green made it in time to cast his vote and the impeachment failed now after the loss the Republicans put a motion on the floor to reconsider the vote question is on the motion to reconsider those in favor say I I those opposed say no the eyes have it I'm sorry what the eyes may have it but his ears have lost it now uh who's who's the what's her name uh margorie Taylor green margorie Taylor green new uh okay but how do you feel Margy Taylor green knew exactly who to blame for the Republicans failure the Democrats they hid one of their members uh waiting to the last minute uh watching to see our votes um trying to throw us off on the numbers that we had versus the numbers they had green had a personal reason for being so angry he speaker Johnson was so confident of victory that he'd already named 11 impeachment managers ahead of a possible Senate trial oh I'm sorry I was wrong speaker Johnson can count his chickens before they hatch and one of those sure chickens chickens one of those managers was said to be margorie Taylor green really she feels less impeachment manager and more I'd like to speak to your manager Green's been at the Forefront of this impeachment push the entire way in fact she authored the resolution which explains why my orc's articles of impeachment were written in crayon now the big the big problem with her resolution is that impeachment is not designed to be used against people you just disagree with on policy it's about high crimes and misdemeanors but the GOP never produced any evidence that mayorcas had committed crimes let alone crimes that meet the threshold for impeachable offenses and sometimes you really need a crime that's why doeski didn't sell many copies of his first novel oops all [Applause] punishment I think that's I think think that might be the porno that Mike Johnson's in oh God after that humiliating defeat speaker Johnson badly needed a win so even though it was late before the house adjourned he called for a vote on the gop's Standalone package for Aid to Israel and that failed too but it's not whether you win or lose it's how hard you laugh at Mike Johnson of course the Super Bowl isn't the only Clash of Titans happening in Nevada this week because yesterday Nevada held their presidential primaries on on the Democratic side Joe Biden had a commanding win with 89% of the vote and it is always it is always reassuring when his vote total is higher than his age GOP also had a primary uh but due to some party Shenanigans Donald Trump was not on the ballot instead he's part of tomorrow's Republican caucus so Nikki Haley was running unopposed in the primary it was a big chance for her to spark some Nick Mania and she came through with 30% of the vote which is not great but even less great she lost to none of these candidates which got twice as many votes well Nikki Haley's campaign message is nobody's better than me and Nevada agreed she also she also lost uh to Nevada candidates not feeling it today and going to be a no for me dog it's it's it's not all massive failures out there for the GOP there are also some smaller failures like Republican National committee chair and star of the new CW Show tiny judge ra McDaniel now McDaniel has led the Republican National Committee since 2017 and she's gone to extreme lengths to prove her Maga loyalty she's the niece of trump critic Senator Mitt Romney and used to go by the name r Romney McDaniel but before she took over his chair Trump asked her to stop using Romney in her name so she immediately dropped Romney and this is a family that puts a lot of thought into names just ask mitt his son's tag zap blorp shank and gluff but one of those might be a sound effect but even renaming herself to please Papa Trump did not stop him from saying this on Monday is it time for Ron McDaniel to step aside well I think she knows that I think she understands that well I think she understands I mean I I appreciate the Romney thing but I was shocked to find out that the rest of her name is RA McDaniel and not as I previously believed ra McDonald I thought I thought she was Ronald's beautiful clown wife at the very least a shaved fry guy now uh just one day later sources say McDaniel plans to step down she's leaving to spend more time with whoever Donald Trump will allow to be her family we got a great show for tonight I'll be talking to writer director of offenheim and so many other wonderful films Christopher noan stick [Applause] [Music] around

Channel: The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

Views: 1,974,320

Keywords: The Late Show, Late Show, Stephen Colbert, Steven Colbert, Colbert, celebrity, celeb, celebrities, late night, talk show, comedian, comedy, CBS, joke, jokes, funny, funny video, funny videos, humor, hollywood, famous

Id: RQuP1tXarFA

Length: 8min 59sec (539 seconds)

Published: Thu Feb 08 2024