Patrice O'Neal confronts Marc Maron about Dane Cook

I'll just work Marin doing here Oh me and Mark got to talk you don't like us anymore come in say hi you know uh what happened everything good no Nami Mike wouldn't [ __ ] marc maron gonna come in and discuss that with me in his mad business he lives on a beach [Laughter] thank you very much stress is the stress of doing your being happy you look that [ __ ] fantastic Lee it man you know it's great though I'm not funny at all anymore yeah charge well yeah I feel great Patrice but I cannot say a [ __ ] funny thing to save my life I've been on the way to that and I don't have nothing yeah nothing I felt that right away but I've had those moments a lot of them where you just like I stink what what happened to me like I quit I got the nicotine finally I was doing the lozenges the gum all that [ __ ] so I'm on nothing so I get up there I'm not a Gravette 'add I'm not mad it's just pure fear and I want to leave and there's that moment where you're like holy [ __ ] they can see it it's [ __ ] over and then I got to get angry at somebody in the audience and I rejigger it and everything that's everything's all right but if that's what it comes down to looking good man Thank You Man yeah we that's a very popular very well [ __ ] making very exposing people for the force should they do a little bit before it exposed me there's nothing to expose expose me just make everybody to [ __ ] two people that know me just say he's a fraud the two that believe in me my mother [ __ ] done is that why here mark we would had you on the show today I just got here today I told Steve them around alright that won't end mark on the show Lee yeah it'd be great to not be funny here [ __ ] delicious marks Jesus muscular I noticed your calves and I started dating a lunatic so and she's a vegetarian the same twenty we talked about last time no no I it was very difficult to get rid of the dominatrix but I did all this uh it was it was hard to do because they don't like being told what to do it they like won't get that San Francisco I wanna hear about the launch she's 27 she's the vegetarian she's completely out of her mind she's uh she lives in what looks to be a nest of some kind a lot of clothing on the floor every day you go over to her house is like how can everything you [ __ ] home be on the floor in morning in morning and then she she's kind of draining here's the kind of girl she is she said to me she because I left for the road and this is that we had a mature discussion about trust she said I just want to tell you if you [ __ ] anybody on the road I'm gonna [ __ ] people you know general [ __ ] people you know no one specific yeah they could be friends it could be enemies but she's hot she's really cute man Wow yes now did you get her on mark marinus or [ __ ] dude with a mustache glasses how are you mister sir mixture yeah I got her on I think Mark Marin and she sent me an email through my website saying look I'm not gonna have this body forever I need to [ __ ] somebody a lot and I want it to be you so I said of course and we met in Portland and we spent the week you get some nice [ __ ] hard alternative dick you know give her some powerful nerd cops you say take this Jake Johansson and a - I chose wall twice a week later she she moved to LA that was a little creepy Wow a week later she's like I'm here I moved here and she goes but not for you but not for you and then it was one of those things into heaven she texted me like 49 times I told you your [ __ ] stalker leave me alone I've had and she said why don't you [ __ ] me want me [ __ ] me over and over again like 40 times the one text like if I held it up to you and you want as I said this is what crazy looks like then like the 50th text was a picture of her [ __ ] so I was like I got to rethink this but here's the true story - text later the guy who was building my bookshelf sent me a text of the bookshelf he was building I was more excited about that this is something I'll have to be afraid to put my you know something into so I am in my last so I got the bookshelf and the chick now and I she's coming out here tonight I'm a little how long have you been sitting that movie so much it's been it's I was touch with that [ __ ] but it's been a few months and it's really good and it's really [ __ ] crazy and I and I thought all that anger and weirdness in me was gone but it's all right there apparently that's how I court that's how I I yell at a girl until she cries a few times and if she can take it we're in we're gonna go for better than you did and you're 95 hbl special holy [ __ ] are we gonna [ __ ] after this he looks so much healthier now then when he if you say he's on top of his game comedic Lee or whatever is right he looks it's like I'm sitting there going am I going to Marc Maron myself and and and feel and look better but but be traveling around doing a [ __ ] podcast which is what we don't want to be doing but it's he's happy shitty joke you were starting to an insult on me the world is going toward the podcast felony he's a he's the leader right but it's the fight the early fight of trying to get to this place where we think we want to be yeah yeah and realizing they're never gonna get there and you better settle for some [ __ ] I know it sounds insulting but I'm just being trying to be honest about it realizing your limitations is a grown up moment well look we'll get mark in tomorrow or the next day we'll figure it out great the podcast works are they here WTF pod calm I think what's up there today there's some good ones up there I did Dane your buddy Dane came on and I was an [ __ ] to him did you think you had to be I did what else am I gonna do being a [ __ ] what else am i why are you being the [ __ ] the the motto or the the nemesis today a [ __ ] you have to talk to him telling you I'm not mad at Dane you know why a lot of because I [ __ ] know him yeah and I talk to him and I know that [ __ ] what he's doing is honest he does not want to do [ __ ] pain comedy that Diggs did he don't write he's not deep and he's not interesting I agree honestly it's like Dane is just to go to name but he's a funnier honestly he's a fan nothing to gain from dating he's a funnier guy than people give up absolutely nothing against so I didn't go into it with any I didn't vilify him I don't care about the stealing thing I don't care about you know what people think he's a hack or whatever you really are a slick white guy listenmi listenmi listenmi very good man all I'm saying is that when I just thought that he had a lot of charisma not a lot of depth and when I listened to him I felt like well I guess people like it he's filling arenas but I'm not that interested but he wanted to come on and and I was gonna talk to him and I was a little defensive I just quit nicotine that day and also I just didn't I felt like he was just giving me patter you know I want to have a mercy but you know what only people who are finished in the business give you the interview that you looking for that your hope yeah Dane can't give you that's real [ __ ] we see that a lot but Jesus is making a pretty good point can't say anything the guys that the hell the guys that have a lot to lose dude don't give up my life competition they're like politician people who don't understand truth that's fans of his he can go out didn't save and say the truth [ __ ] he can't yeah he just makes good point we've seen a lot on this show we really do yeah I think that's what frustrated me is that like I thought I was getting stuff and I wanted him to cry and I just couldn't wanted I wanted do you got more out of love he knew you better too sometimes people are much more likely to open up if they know a guy like they said if I wasn't a dick I was kind of a dick and quite frankly you are I will say as we you know Marc Maron we all talk and there's a lot of guys who spawn a lot of comedy children will you say these guys are stealing from this guy stealing his essence at el marrón has in the top probably in the top five a lot of more awesome children a lot of trees Marin has a lot of famous children - oh right one now I could say you're processing the big the name that then this is the streets alright mark do not acknowledge that right patent is a mock Mary baby hmm well that's the streets that's the street okay I love patent let me say that I love patent patent never speaks bad but I'm talking about the streets talking saying is Colin Quinn has a lot of babies out there wasn't a number one that has the most big most children around I tell Katya her birthday what else hardened head which is the which shot Burien Hedberg Highbury ice but not on the tells level Hedberg and the question and it might be and I know posthumously did not judge the people the streets say that Hedberg is a is a is a tell baby really yeah slow down a little bit and yeah yeah thinking was so different than it sells it was more of a Steven right thing yeah his thinking was so where he went for a joke a real laid-back company man like he was so [ __ ] beatnik kind of indifferent to tell tell is a it's a pacing guys out there 'no Swit that yeah but marin a lot of babies no life is helping their having a better time with it deny the actual you yeah and make it more accessible to these [ __ ] people so they just give a little bit and it's like wow he's he's crazy babies not crazy he's not gonna hurt us how did you insane in the interview it went ok he ended up really wanting me to like him and he ended up inviting me to his house for fourth of july and sending me a present yeah i thought what a good he's not a bad guy dude it's like he really gets it he gets a bad rap from commerce cuz he's right like in a way comedians think we're supposed to feel a certain way like before I didn't feel that but he's actually a nice there's nothing wrong can I ask you guys cuz how much of that is jealousy the danger and I'm not saying you three in the room in particular but a whole [ __ ] [ __ ] beat them up cuz their hundred people jealousy look cuz you gotta go guys who are really upset who who want to say something who thinks comedy is about saying something out of a hundred it's ten of them the rest 90% is jealous just [ __ ] not saying CNN mark is saying I only get jealous of people that are like me I don't I don't get jealous of people that I got nothing to do with I mean I've never understood the contempt against him because it just didn't right was until contentment I really wasn't shot at any of you guys I'm just the content is Dane made it on on this perception of of a plan that everybody thinks was like that's the contingency plan which is like I'm going to be famous by doing YouTube Facebook MySpace and it did not happen that way so it becomes oh he's only doing he probably licked somebody's eyes so it's like these guys who emulate and want to be famous that blueprint of Fame they followed a blueprint and then they realize oh [ __ ] they hit the social network there is no it's not easy to do it Dean did you got it real early Russell Peters is the only guy the other guy that did it that way early but to hold on to it I mean the thing is it's like anyone can do that but to actually you know maintain a career after you do that I mean that's the trick I mean you get these guys in Last Comic Standing or whatever they're good for a year but I mean to maintain a following and to maintain a business yeah I mean that's the trick and you can't manufacture lightning in a bottle there's no blueprint I mean [ __ ] it's who the hell knows who's gonna hit out what reason now you're not a big fan of his but what do you respect about him what do I respect about him I did if anything no if anything that's how you know that he repeated your question am I gonna say something he got Mel Gibson what I'm turning the podcast I'm like Mary I know you respect about me I respect his discipline if anything you got to respect the guy's work ethic that I find that most guys who get real famous and hold on to a career they work their asses off and and I as a guy who doesn't you know necessarily work his ass off I've talked to a lot of these cats who have money and who have fame the one thing they do is they work [ __ ] hard and so you know if there's anything I can respect its at because I certainly don't have that good answer man you answered it [ __ ] you coulda said okay all right well Marc Maron is gonna come in tomorrow Wednesday Patrice you're off to Miami the Miami improv this we added I thought we'd see another day we got no Jimmy all week I I would just love to I'm just um unless you want to just come in tomorrow I'd only man your friends I might need you guys I don't want to [ __ ] wear my will face you don't wanna be obligated shower about I don't want to I don't care where I walk up you don't be obligate to communicate your time but you should come in you friends I don't get to do regular too much yeah come in tomorrow coming in I like laughing all right well here we have fun look we'll figure it all the capital are you good no I mean any point that you're blinding it's his birthday today how are you 42 really did happen huh no raging Harper but a sigh Alice it does that you might look in pill cutter in the airport today in Canada I had a [ __ ] nice sigh Alice I was gonna pop yesterday use my girlfriend checking your heart I don't know I've had some problems fast you lost air with this [ __ ] guy touching neck man you gotta check your heart with that [ __ ] well so close my blood and puts it in your dick man you might you I'm just saying if your nick is not good but doesn't the blood go back up to your heart when you're done it's there's a warning if your dick stays hard for four and you're taking a half of it how hard does you did get without the pill yeah you know it's a race - fill up but it's still this soft spots it was it was raging other dad there's my girl in the back of head I woke up my dick was raging hard first time in a long time is it like an old [ __ ] elbow to get up [ __ ] come on let's go in the truth is it like an old bike tire it's a medium rare sausage this mushy spots it's a mess and I can't take my girl [ __ ] somebody else you ain't Glaser can't be that mad and it's like an echo calcium deposits in just really good choice Lots bulb did you take a Viagra my heart he's got some [ __ ] man but that can't know that we fight so [ __ ] a ticket does things to your diet it opens your vessels it dilates your doctor Norton is spoken I think he's right though athletes are using it for endurance now not even to [ __ ] but to run like they'll take them before they run - Oh bleep those [ __ ] are do anything [ __ ] [ __ ] down yeah somewhere in jackoff they put in front of them drugs yeah it's the getting ridiculous is Rachel yeah I'm not even gonna [ __ ] like say like well yeah it's rigged kitchen but the head is really hard [Laughter] helmet goes right in the [ __ ] any cranks it back out and tries it again roaming dick I am raging no problem fine does yours rager out the science is the sales like is so [ __ ] Pavlov Pavlov dog mind if I could keep it all off yeah did you break it no it's not broken but I've trained my dick dough and I grab it it doesn't have to work cuz I'm gonna come anyway cuz I jerk off soft I become soft I can't I did last night came last night this one tense isn't it it's the weird feels weird it's hard when it squirts like it's just so haha it's soft and then it's just so you know and I'm playing a jerk-off it's a planning got the mouse you got the jerk juice let's just gets and then soon as it gets hard that's when it's back to sleep by the way I knew this boomer from Jersey viagra was a heart medicine when it first came out right and then they realized the side effect was these boners and said [ __ ] let's uh let's let's sell on the side of him I knew that opens it like acid or anything else yeah all right Marc Maron's coming back Patrice possibly coming back Jimmy will definitely Bible being with bells on

Channel: Comedy Crackhead

Views: 1,814,580

Keywords: Comedy, Fun, Funny, Laugh, Laughs, Patrice O'Neal, Marc Maron, Dane Cook, Jim Norton

Id: qzhjrljqyB4

Length: 18min 49sec (1129 seconds)

Published: Sat Jun 23 2018