Panda

thanks to audible for sponsoring this video start listening with a 30-day audible trial giving you a free audio book and unlimited audible originals at audible.com domix or text domix to 500 500. hi i'm uh not crash i i'm an animator and mostly known from the stick figure community for doors collaborations and stuff like that and i'm i'm just claire this is claire i'm not crush either you can eat anything for free this includes like drinks too but not water but the more delicious it is the more painful of a stomach ache you get afterwards my thing about this is like trying new foods would be really terrifying because it's a subjective thing so you just don't know if it's going to be good or not you're just hoping like please taste it try something and you're like blown away at how good it is and you're like oh like no it's gonna hit me in an hour and and also like it just like appears you know like whatever like you want it's like a one minute uber delivered just like to your front door honestly i've had stomach problems all my life since i was a little kid so i'm pretty much living in this universe already like i'm either hungry or i'm in pain and there's no in between like i've never just satisfied now you just get to eat for free so now i just get to eat for free yeah i guess the free food thing would be good with people with diet issues i guess like for example if you're like allergic to avocados but now that you do this you can eat avocados for free and just have like a stomach ache not like that this is like you can't be allergic to things because it won't kill you you just get a stomach just get a stomach and that's it so then like can you get foods that don't technically exist or are like exotic like if i wanted to eat human meat what's wrong just like just throwing that out that'll cause that'll still cost something like someone starts to prepare for you so someone it has to be made is what you're saying it's not just like i couldn't just be like i wanna eat dragon meat if it's real yeah i think anything you can get i guess you could use this power to find out if dragons are real i'm like i wanna eat this guy i hate and then what they're gonna like send an assassin cook this topic went a different direction that i intended it to be john's using it for lethal purposes oh no no i gotta understand the scope your friends would hate hanging out with you because you're getting food for free while they're still paying for it and then they have to hear you complain about how much pain you're in an hour later so there's just like nothing good about it away i got free food what if like it has a really good starting taste and then the aftertaste is i'd say probably averages out unless you want the the pain to follow that you know that flow chart of oh yeah the sad part is a lot of cheap stuff is what i find the most delicious it's not even by quantity right like if i eat the most delicious pea in the world i'll still get like wait wait wait run that bag like this this quantity of food doesn't affect it right so like if i were to eat just like would you just the most delicious tiny meal oh my god what do you thought i said like you said if you drank pee no the irony being that if you drank pee you'd be totally fine i know it's like crazy like oh you can survive on a deserted island so easily no even if you're in a deserted island why would you you get the free food delivered to you oh right i forgot that i can just materialize any food ever yeah why would you resort to pete you're like dying like someone please save me i guess i gotta drink my phone i thought you told me an uber driver had to show up he just showed up like 30 seconds he doesn't then he leaves you in there he just shows up on the island and then leaves me there there you go man don't forget the tip [Music] all right pluto you get you get a tesla but uh you have to take a year's worth of your in one day [Music] and then you never have to for the rest of the year well is it like an uncomfortable poop or is it coming out the way it's supposed to come out like whatever you were supposed to poop for that year it's all coming out for 24 hours but it's one day are we animating this yeah let's say i don't know february 13th that poop was watery but like august 31st like that poop wasn't it just follows that so it's just like schedule oh yeah i'll do it i mean i'll be miserable but you know but you'll have a test i'll have a tesla right exactly you have to flush like oh okay well you you don't have to do it on the toilet you could go out in like the desert and just find an open oh this spot it looks good oh my god you'd have to like keep moving even then yeah a year's worth of poop you're gonna have to walk and then people are gonna find your like line of poop where does this go what happened here why are you walking while you're pooping why did you stay still because if you stay still eventually the poop's going to pile up and you're going to touch it and i don't want to touch the poop you got to find like a cliff that would work so i really hope no one's down there i'm so sad they'll leave by the first drop they're not going to stay the whole time i still want it i'll poop off a cliff for 24 hours for a tesla okay but what if you have to do that every year like to keep the keys to the tesla like at this point i'll just go get a job dom come on man saying is not a job he's making it a job if i'm going to have a job i'd rather do something productive than just once a year no but like whatever you get from your job you could spend on other stuff while tesla is covered by your poop service imagine imagine like falling in love with someone and then and then a year later you go up to the video like babe i have to tell you something uh this is gonna be good you're gonna see me for a day i know i know that you know one of the reasons you uh you match with me on tinder that time is because because you saw that picture of me and my tesla this is how i got it i'm gonna need to take the whole day and i'm gonna need you to just leave me alone darling what do you do for a living i work once a day one time once a year you could also sell the tesla uh you were gonna say you can also sell the poop and i was like where are you going like what are you talking about if i sell it and i poop again next year do i get another tesla that's that's broken that's literally salary is it is it broken that's an extra you're going to be broken where's the toilet there's no toilet that can contain like it'd probably be like a room's worth right there someone google it it sounds like a year's worth of poop john google what do i have to do i don't know how heavy you're the one with the question you google how much i don't want that in my internet history all right final google it was a question if crush was here he would look it up starting with an average daily amount of about 14 ounces or 400 grams a total poop production in a week's time would be about 6 pounds 2.8 kilograms in a year a single person would yield about 320 pounds or 145 kilograms of poop that's like two people just a little bit more than an adult panda weighs that is now forever in my history i'm never gonna delete this so i just i just poop out an adult panda once a year and i'm chilling oh yeah i mean i'd rather i'd take the food thing over the the thing i just really really want kanchan right now if someone offered me a plate of kanjun kejong the best kanjun kejong in the world and a tesla oh i'm sorry musk my korean blood test get the food it's okay i'm happy for you man you can have the tesla all right you can take your poop day i'm gonna enjoy some delicious food for the rest of my life and a bit of pain but that's okay and a bit of a bit of pain i deal with that like once a month for the entire week you know what i think it can handle like a bit of pain like every day for food yeah but then now you would get period cramps and stomach aches maybe during my period cramps i would eat something that is semi-mediocre so instead of having the period cramps i'll just have the food pain and it'll be like slightly less because i feel like period cramps are pretty painful i've been getting really bad ones what if you get whatever free food you want but you have to poop that amount of food before receiving it before receiving it so so let's say the nuggets i got before i get the nuggets for free i'd have to head to the toilet and poop that amount that it would be as digested i mean would you even enjoy it at that point though like what you just did in the bathroom a couple minutes ago and then you come back yeah you're like oh here comes my food yeah yeah you've emptied out dude you're ready yeah are you eating soy sauce no you can't suck in that packet unless you like poop a little bit you're not just like a little a little deposit you know [Laughter] i always i just keep coming back to like being with someone or like being on a date and like i don't know she's like she's like here try this ice cream and you're just like oh just one second and then you're like all right let me have it okay we got ice cream i think i have to retitle this when we animate what what could you possibly name this baby panda free food i'm just going to call it panda no would you a panda for a tesla quarantine life is the only life i know now hey it sounds like you've got a lot of time on your hands why not listen to some audiobooks with audible you guys can enjoy audiobooks anytime anywhere literally like even if you cancel your membership or maybe you're the last human on earth and you still somehow have your device charged and have your audiobook saved you can listen to them if you want but let's say the world didn't end and you do stick around you get one free audiobook and unlimited audible originals every month today i recommend to you the complete book of five rings a profound view into a samurai's ideas on swordsmanship strategy 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Channel: Domics

Views: 2,870,739

Keywords: domics, animation

Id: 3vPJ-12LxrM

Length: 10min 23sec (623 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 26 2020