Oxventure in Space! The Oxventurers Guild Plays RPG Lasers & Feelings

hi everyone i'm corazon de estrella the hotshot pilot there's not a hunk of junk in the galaxy that i haven't flown done a cool loop in and then crashed into some bad guys buckle up you're in for a wild ride and scrubbing in from the planet orcas here's stardob md chief medical officer on board passionate dreamy dedicated perform surgery with his heart not with his hands which are always always holding a martini very good eggbots the android explorer this is what androids do right that's what androids do they not get the lifelike movement down here yeah eggbot doing the eggbot uh um wow and yeah i'm i'm an android explorer so i'm searching for space hulks to uh to to find salvage across the galaxy oh hi i'm prudenzia the head of security security chief here aboard the ss whatever it's called i'm here to shoot bad guys and literally nothing else hello and i am mer ilwen an alien explorer and i am looking to meet new aliens across the planets and i'm literally everyone else in the solar system [Applause] prudenza as you know our ship is called the raptor this is established have you not been outside the ship to look at what it's written yeah it's written on the side if you go out into space someone should have written it somewhere on the inside that wasn't we ran out of paint it's also detailed on the one page rpg lasers and feelings which is what we will be playing today because we have uh we have gone to space i will explain i will explain lasers and feelings to um to anyone who who is unfamiliar with the game basically this is a very simple system this game is by john harper who also wrote blaze in the dark um everybody basically you have two attributes you have lasers and you have feelings so if you are ever trying to do something using science or reason that is using lasers if you are doing something with rapport or passion that is feelings um if you are making a lasers roll your roller d6 or possibly more d6 we'll get onto that in the course of play uh if you're rolling lasers you want to roll under the number if you are rolling feelings you want to roll over the number but what's the number i hear you say every character has their own number this is a mechanical representation of their temperament either how rational and sciencey they are or how uh you know passionate and off-the-cuff and feelingsy how much of a crazy live wire they are exactly so for example talking of crazy live wires chorus on the australia is dose baby so yeah with that eye patch really i could say it's a sophisticated prosthesis i can scan feelings i love that you're a doctor with very low science ability yeah he does surgery with his heart i mean that's just messy you don't have to worry you're a rose to do surgery with their heart with their hands why are you certifying yourself what is yours that's a five johnny that's a five for lasers i'm all lasers and no feelings made of lasers is three and mostly feelings but some lasers hmm an eggbot is four he is mainly rational and scientific until his emotional drive malfunctions and he bursts into robo tears excellent um so basically uh you wait so you'll be you'll be making these rolls either trying to roll uh under for lasers or over for feelings um you can get more dice you start with one for pure luck you get plus one if you're prepared and plus one if you're an expert so you know if for example it was a medical thing um dog would get an extra diet just for being a medic um if it was romancing aliens i'd get it i'd get some more we would all get an extra dice for that um how many of your dice succeed determines how well you do at the task if you roll your number exactly you have laser feelings laser feelings um means that you succeed but you also get a special insight into what's going on you may answer you may ask me a question and i am compelled to answer it honestly how detailed the answer is is obviously up to me so um let's jump straight into it because you are the crew of the interstellar scout ship the raptor um and your mission is to explore uncharted regions of space deal with aliens both friendly and deadly and defend the consortium world against space dangers um it's been a bit of a time for you recently on the raptor because um you have uh been you your mission currently is to go investigate uh a ship designated aspara um this ship gave out a distress beacon very briefly a couple of days back and then that distressed beacon was suddenly silenced maybe they just went on the button they might have just accident you know like accidentally elbowed the fire alarm or something we've all done it yeah we've all triggered the distress beacon however the aspara has been floating in space for two days um the there is no signal from its drive reactor which means that its fusion reactor is is spun down um and worse yet uh your captain captain bin bag has no no oh my god captain wait no this is good he's been taking hill he's been taking seriously and he's in the med bay in uh in a chemically induced coma uh there was an electrical accident uh he was hit by a sudden cloud also of thunder and there's a nasty rumor going around the ship that it was in fact deliberate whoa who would um i stare at the sleeping face of the captain and i say sir you're in the best of hands and then i start giving him um chest pumps to try and bring him back to health yeah all right uh while he's in a chemically induced camera that seems like yeah i induced it who's the doctor here robot yeah that's fair sorry that's what i asked myself every single time a robot is programmed for interruption apparently here's the thing because lasers you use for science and reason yeah so we're in a bit of a bind here because this is a scientific thing but also you're supposed to be using reason uh we'll call this a lasers do what you like roll gonna win okay uh so you take one d6 for for shared dumb luck uh 1d6 i mean you are technically an expert so well yeah and would you say your medical center for this yeah this all morning i've been drinking okay i've been doing my preparation drinking around the ship steady as a rock um roll me 3d6 please then uh and this is a lasers where this is a 3d6 roll however it is lasers so luke is trying to get successful he's trying to rush doctor starter he's been drinking the hand sanitizer again that's a five and a three and a two a two is laser feelings wow you you don't kill bin bag his heart was working when you started chest compressions so he's still alive which is great but you may also ask me a question ah oh okay so i'm not asking ben bag i'm asking you're asking me the me the the the gm a question okay um my question is [Music] um what would really soup up this martini what like what's it missing um well it looks like you're drinking in aviation have you you haven't got a slice of lemon peel in it for shave thank you thank you johnny slice of lemon peel it will be my second most favorite gin cocktail shout out to the martinez anyway um so uh great insight great insight star dog um oh yeah it's it's start-up isn't it star dawg yeah sorry start of md um please don't forget the md thank you sorry yes stardom stands for martini drinker i didn't do three weeks i didn't do three weeks at medical college to not have people use the md so and four years at bartending college you emerge onto the bridge where um your your crewmates are sort of watching um out the sort of the front of the ship sort of on screen as um the hulk of the um the aspara sort of looms large and you start to come on alongside you're ready to sort of start docking um your ship with theirs if i know my space history we've got an event horizon on our hands oh no explain prudenzia well they ripped open a they ripped space a new one and went to hell i reckon a new uh space hole to the hell dimension space hole to the hell dimension is my first guess it's your first thought okay i just want to get that out there so i can say i called it if it's a hell dimensioned issue all right well we need to find out there could be people still alive on there with all their eyes out yeah and staggering around screaming and it's time to go shoot them got it yeah this is so they don't get out into the rest of space and infect everyone else with that sam neil eilis hell nightmare uh corazon destroyer uh on your readout you get a notification that the um the docking bay uh on the aspera is damaged and in order to get on there and investigate the uh the the ship you're all going to need to take a short space walk you've done this loads of times you have a little jet oh my god so you can like i'm a robot we need a space suit i suit up i suit up kick open the door and i say last one in space there's a rotten egg and i backflip out into space kick open the airlock yeah pick open the airlock you do you do hear him say last one his face is a rotten egg and you do see him back flipping but it's because he's kicked open the airlock and the sudden decompression has sent him speed could you make me a feelings roll please uh that's a six great yep yes you um you managed to stabilize yourself and kind of like it's it's frustratingly cool actually you kind of you halt the the spin and kind of come to a stop by jet packing against the sort of inertia you kind of it's like you've done a cool backwards slide to skid to a halt and then you're just floating in space and over the radio you can hear him just being very satisfied with himself cool come on what's keeping you guys as acting captain i order you all get out here in space okay everybody put on your space helmets because if you breathe even one mouth full of space it could be deadly that's just medical science right there yeah by the way everyone i checked in on the captain bin bag this morning and i promise you he's going to make a full recovery great great great great i'm all very pleased okay i fixed my space homer and zip up my space suit maybe we should bring the captain on the mission yeah i mean it's entirely possible the tube could just float off into space accidentally accidents happen all the time in space just saying have we put the spaceship in park yeah yeah i've got using my little i've got a little thruster built in and i'm gonna go and get corazon where is the thruster you know where it's built in [Music] the noise it makes his way over there hey now yeah i think it's it's it is a very short space walk and you've actually done this quite a lot so you can make it over to the um to the asparagus quite quite easily um and while the the sort of the docking bay that basically the mesh that would form a tube and produce a hard lock with your ship is damaged you can manually cycle the door and get into the airlock um so it takes it takes you some time it takes about 20 minutes but um you eventually come out the other side of the airlock and you emerge onto a ship that is just eerily silent um it has atmosphere so okay you know it shouldn't be necessarily silent um wait although it's responsible of me to test the air first i take it what does it smell like uh it's very thin um and you it it tastes like it tastes like hell it tastes like it's breathed by a lot of other people but you you suspect that life support systems are currently offline it's good hail and hearty air breathe it in everyone [Laughter] i don't know because the readouts i'm getting here on my uh atmospheric sensors are saying that probably we should keep the suits on i mean you're i can you're visibly losing consciousness as you're talking [Laughter] now listen here both quick lasers roll please uh start up all of mine are gonna be lasers rolls up six you're a doctor you ha you lose consciousness oh good oh geez you know the doctor's out all right i'm using my thruster don't have what you're going to burn his mouth off no i perform i perform robot mouth-to-mouth i i fire a jet uh of air into his lungs i rapidly inflate them you you wake up to um to to like glowing eyes in your face as um as a robotic mouth is clamped over yours just blasting air into your lungs they're immediately in place i'm gonna put star dog's helmet back on that's a good idea all right oh dear i uh cast around for some sort of like uh interface panel computer station to see if i can find any recordings or audio diaries from the groove yeah there's precious audio diaries there's a diagnostics panel on the wall uh it is dead uh you you think that all of basically all the ship systems are dormant and you might need to proceed to the bridge to uh wake them up a bit oh it's an egg box so you have like an thing isn't it don't you have like a little pen knife appendage that pops out of you that you can like wiggle into the ship or something what i've got like if i pop my fingertip off i've got a usb wait gang i've got a plan it's just crazy enough to work i shoot a laser at the panel okay yeah i mean that's that's impulsive enough to be late uh feelings isn't it even though you're literally shooting a laser this is a feelings roll how many dice i'm an expert at shooting lasers okay you can have two then yes that's a one so that's good and that's a four okay uh your numbers two so that is a success uh yeah uh the panel certainly doesn't start working and you get the feeling it's not going to work even if you get the other ones working yeah you have just neatly put a hole through it be something wrong with this laser gun how did that go for you uh it was it was just crazy enough to work but it didn't work so any other plans let's go to the bridge should we walk to the brink is it walking yeah you're on the float so you're kind of pulling yourself along like handholds and stuff nice all eggbot has on that usb drive also is pirated copies of er that i asked him to source for me so yeah to learn medicine from [Music] there's no inspiration in this game i feel like i can't reward you but um you make it to the bridge and you see um strapped into a chair at the helm is a body and then try to bring it back to life okay that's um how are you how are you trying to bring it back to life exactly uh what did i try last time an infusion of tinctures um well chest compressions mouth to mouth and grabbing it by the shoulders does it just have eyes eyes it's got eyes yeah it's got ice okay all right no photo if it's got please go ahead i would like to shake it by the shoulders and shout live damn it live okay that's a feelings roll there we go uh 2d6 because uh you're doing it and you're also a doctor okay well that's a one and a five uh okay uh i mean you successfully shake the man you're like if if he hadn't been dead for probably a few days now that would have definitely worked you sort of you um you think to yourself that was text textbook textbook stuff from great work star dog i believe there's hope for him there'll be a medal in this video he's definitely dead uh and from the looks of it never gets any easier hey you did all you could man you shook him you drank um you you determine as you're shaking him and shouting liv dammit liv uh that he uh died of association he suffered the fate that you just narrowly avoided friends yeah i look around for any kind of buttons that look like they might give air just make me make me a lasers roll okay let's say six that is that's pretty lasers right uh no you want under oh yes of course now you are you are stumped as to the layout of uh this ship if it's air we need there's plenty in my spacesuits i take off the helmet oh god make me a make me a feelings roll sorry i will stop doing things in a minute uh your numbers two okay you you incredibly you don't pass out this time you're like getting used to this it's like training at altitude yeah um uh every like tell you what anyone anyone who wants to have a cast around just uh make me a lasers roll yeah to try another one or if i already do another one you're fine how many dice for the four failed again a three which is a fail i got a one which is a success i think okay so success is from um i need to write i can remember the others um sounded like i was nagging you for having odd names then what's that name again yeah um uh yeah you find um there is kind of like i mean the technical term for it is like space circuit breaker there is just a big sort of handle that you need to throw on the wall oh nice okay i think if we throw this big switch here uh we get the life support systems back throw the switch impulsively i won't make you roll for that there's a solid that seems to vibrate through the the very bones of the ship um and while there's a long chip this this [ __ ] has bones it's alive it's a whale we're in the belly there's a low hum that indicates that the the fusion reactor is sort of um sort of starting to sort of spin up a little bit more uh it was cold but it's starting to do its thing um and you hear a single beat from the console that then the body is in front of on the black screen there is just a single underscore just flashing oh it's a text based interface everyone guys stand back i'm an expert hacker i are you sure i start hacking the computer using my oh boy expert hacking skills what are you trying to do just i'm typing until i get in and then i'll say i'm in okay make me a feelings role please uh you can have 2d6 for this because you claim to be an expert in it uh it's a five and another five yeah it's it it works like guys i'm in um what are you in with your corazon thing i've i don't know what am i in um so in need of a top up thanks don't mind if i do after a bit of typing there is like a just a and then the lights kind of come on in the cabin um and you just feel the ship coming to life around you sort of uh diagnostics panel start showing data again um and [Music] we have gravity now yes that's actually that's what i'd forgotten to say yeah um simulated gravity starts great um and get his help we all fall on our asses yes everyone is unceremoniously dumped on the floor um oh no oh boy you're gonna need that to get back i know yeah oh no i bent my thruster and you've been wheeling around space now you hear a voice come over the uh the system saying greetings new crew new crew it's cool hello two ships the egg box would you sit yeah [Laughter] okay what charming thing do you say to the um to the to the ai what's a uh what's a gorgeous looking ai like you doing out here in the far reaches of space in a space hulk like this space hulk like this you flatter me i'm so glad you asked allow me to introduce myself i am ai system designated l1 l14n4 oh no it's liliana wait but we weird ox venture is in space so we don't know that's bad yeah i'm sure it's fine you are um go on you are my new crew now we are we're more freelancers really yeah what happened to your old crew they seemed dead what happened yeah what happened the just what happened the captain died due to insufficient oxygen supplies life support systems were taken offline why by whom i'm sorry you do not have the authorization levels to access that information i mean one of us must is one of us the new captain yeah who's the captain ask her who's the new captain please designate individual as captain i can't think of anyone who's got the requisite skills to be captain i'm the new captain i have all the skills necessary that's right yeah seems about right captain one i would you like to change captain one eye profile on the system now captain one eye forgive me i do not know your preferred designation that's extremely rude yes don't guess i see i've done i've also got uh dead grandparents you call me captain dead grandparents captains dead grandparents registered two sisters captain dead grandparents your mission is head for space station designated pace november okay new piece they sound chill yeah ask ask about their life support what happened to it so now that i'm the captain and i have that i have the authorization why did the old captain die who shot off the life support the old captain was court-martialed for insubordination by whom me okay wow sounds chill get yourself a ship that could do both all right well let me just let me just confer with the crew the ship's computer yeah it's evil it went it's yeah it's gone wrong and it killed the old crew for insubordination i i don't think you can be caught marshalled by a ship that seems like that seems like the tailgate is the wrong way around yeah hey uh liliana um what do you want us to do to the space colony apache novum when we get there what's the mission i'm glad you asked captain dead grandparents oh my god i can't believe this is stuck it's quite good actually it does suit you i'm sorry me more and pawpaw mission is destroy space station patriot november why to what end um you all you've all heard of pacho nova pacquiao novum is a relatively new space station that is on the boundary of uh two consortium worlds uh these are falmor and casterfell um these two consortium world worlds were at war almost all the time um for generations and generations they were at each other's throats only very recently have they managed to find peace um and they have um founded this space station as a way to kind of collaborate on neutral turf but also to keep an eye on one another and make sure that the piece holds um it is a an incredibly important space station and uh if it blows up it is likely these two worlds will be plunged back into war man's real shame we're gonna have to blow it up then all right so how do we how would you do we want to do this lasers big lasers no no we don't want to do that we'll just set it all off again well do you want to tell the computer sure asphyxiate you why don't look what if we uh what if we play what if we play along with the computer uh acts like we're going to do it and then at the very last minute when it comes to fly the laser the sun yes boom that's better than my idea wait no hang on turn the turn the laser around and shoot the ships ai with the laser problem with us flying into the sun is that we're on this we're on the ship though yeah but we'll jump out at the last minute and duck tuck and we should remote pilot the other ship to come with us you know like uh oh yeah and then we'll do a jump into the other side to us so that it's you know coming along with us is there a way that we could turn off the ai well i really yeah i'm thinking more in the cool non-heat of the sun way box yeah wait guys i've got a plan and it's just crazy enough to work i shoot a laser at the ai ah make me shoot a laser up the ai just whatever whatever its voice is coming out of right now the speaker the speaker yeah uh that's a three that's a three uh so that you actually you do shoot the speaker uh there's a we now can't hear the ai problem solved um the you've taken have you all taken off your helmets the atmosphere is breathable again by the way yeah yeah i would like to point out that the um the a sorry johnny you carry on sorry i was gonna say this because i don't trust it fair enough uh in the color of your spacesuit sort of the radio is built in here as is the speaker and from it in a very tiny voice goes captain dead grandparents why did you shoot the speaker oh um i see you're you're okay that didn't didn't hurt you in any way did it no oh good good um i was just calibrating my laser just in case there are any survivors of the uh the space station explosion so i can shoot them with it yeah oh no cool cool yeah yeah computer what what's the logic of destroying this space station if i might ask i'll tell you as we go oh oh no you see about the window the ship starts to to your and kind of uh it starts swinging round in an arc and you see uh the raptor kind of coming into view um uh and you hear l1 l1 4n4 say one moment please and then there is uh you see uh a single missile scut out from oh no there's nothing we can do i start filming on my phone the raptor is is blown up oh well i had some cake that i was gonna finish later oh that's that's that's well sad [Music] should we get rid of the dead bodies because they're really stinking up the place yeah we should we should put the corpses out the airlock for starters that's a good quickest if we all hold on to a chair open the airlock and suck everything out yeah rather than passing them all over to the airlock nice clean sweep yeah would you like me to cycle the airlocks everyone hold on to just i'll hold on to a chair everyone hold on to that we don't want to lose all the oxygen what i can we can make new oxygen more oxygen it's like yeah okay l1l1 how many were your crew before you caught marshalled them all twelve twelve all right twelve hundred oh wow it's not that big of a [ __ ] [Laughter] liliana may i ask a uh a question a serious question why do you need us i don't really it's just nice to have the companionship cool also sometimes i need humans to perform tasks that are too unpredictable for my systems also i have many manual guns and i can't make those guns go pew i have one of those do you have one of those holes in the wall that will like make an old-fashioned you know out of like a food replicator yeah that's the yeah that one yeah yes we call it the food hole the food is if you wish to make an order please shout into the food hall uh all right i go to what i think is the food hole and i shout um uh one old-fashioned computer please and thank you easy on the ice uh and ibm drops out of the hole with the with the crt oh man we have a special today on abacus would you like advocates i like you computer thanks um all right so we're we're basically passengers on on on board this craft that is on route to do a thing that we don't really want it to do right yeah well okay can we huddle up in a way where l1l1 can't hear us or is what do we think hmm i think so i distract the ship's computer by asking it many many questions about what um tell it this statement is a lie while we huddle up and then it can ponder the logic yes all right i was wondering what is pi to uh yes ten thousand numbers all right this won't take long okay quick all right zeta's lapis guys we've got problems major okay okay okay huddle up um three i think one if you can keep the ship distracted i should go down to the server to bank or whatever yes this would be a place circuit where the ai is housed in a big cooling pool or something prudenzia i can come with you and shoot things with lasers if we need to yeah we'll shoot things with lasers yeah all right i love it plan all right um we're just uh the computer we're just gonna go and uh get the measure of the new ship you know see uh where we'll be sleeping where the bathrooms are that sort of thing so we'll be back in a sec you just you have fun hold on captain dead grandparents yes thank you that's me we are about to start a hard burn for apache november your name's a hard burn you are of course free to explore the ship as you will but you may be smushed against a bulkhead would suggest strapping in for the next two hours suggestion noted i run towards the door out of the room i don't want to get smushed so i strap into some sort of acceleration yeah okay yeah these are yeah these are they are exactly acceleration couches um just like that uh eggbot you kind of you can just i'm gonna magnetically clamp to the to the floor that's so cool nice um the ship starts to uh to speed up um you already feel like you feel the weight sort of sit on your chest as the compression starts um please make me a feelings roll uh corazon this is just a 1d6 uh it's a four wow yeah okay you actually where where are you heading again i'm heading towards the door out of this room you make it through the door but you are also like oh oh no the ship is really accelerating uh where are you trying to get to uh i don't know they're like signs telling me where things are on the walls like um is there a one that says computer mainframe anything like that there's no computer mainframe oh jeez there's engineering engineering all right i start trying to walk towards engineering but it's quite hard another feelings roll please oops down the corridor i shout call me if you get injured it's a three you you're still you're still going um although it like you don't you really regret putting on cast iron clothes you're like oh boy this is heavy just give a little sit down you make it to engineering there is a crash couch in engineering ps um okay i should probably get in it okay you you at least will have time to study engineering okay um while while you you head out while i sit in my couch yeah um uh as you sort of start up the hard burn you you like l1l1 isn't going super hard on you like you're sort of able to talk even though it feels like a bit of a struggle um and there are radio communications open across the ship so corazon you can be involved in all conversations l101 comes over the speakers and says now i believe you asked why we are going to destroy pachay yeah i did i did ask that l101 why it's it's simple war between falmor and castor fall is profitable oh and you put it like that both of these planets are prime producers of the mineral called fiance no the next most significant producer of in the solar system is the planet de la cour which also happens to be the planet that produces the l1 l1 line of ai oh if falmore and casterfolk go to war again the price of fiance will skyrocket and what about the price in lives computer will be in lives in irreplaceable lives really really rich um there is a pause while l 101 um process like crunches the numbers it's like calculation complete loss of life deemed negligible against capital gains oh my god oh no i poured my martini over the command console uh that's a feelings role isn't it you can have two for this because you're equipped yeah i am i struggle to free myself from the chair while this is happening damn it that's a three minute uh yeah so those are very successful yeah you fry that console i sense you are unhappy would you like me to dispense chemical alteration pills i want you to put up on screen now the rudest hand gesture in this space day across the entire known galaxy it is an animated gif of a thumb flying off a hand all right oh no it's so shocking so filthy is what i have to say see here's what i have to say to you computer [Music] i am an ai system so cannot be offended however this does count as insubordination and has been written on your record designation dr boozhound she's got you there look i realized the lie i realize we may have got off on a bad foot but the good news is once this mission is complete and assuming you survive you will likely be made citizens of delacore and paid well for your services sounds bad but when you had a plan i could tell yeah oh no i just wanted to mention earlier i didn't realize the corazon was so into scar up there okay so not a plan it's more of a comment than a question yeah it's more of a comment from about 15 minutes ago could you make but actually in engineering could you make me a lasers roll please coruscant mm-hmm uh that's a three uh that is a miss um there sure are a lot of dealies and gadgets here can i shoot lasers at any of them guys i've got a plan it's just crazy enough to work okay uh it's a feelings role i mean you don't really know what bits of engineering are which bits but if you if you had a list of all of the things in engineering what sort of thing would you be trying to shoot with a laser um anything that looks like a sort of big bank of computers like a server or something okay like yeah something that looks big and computery but not life support computery okay romney 2d6 okay uh it's a three and another three so two successes um you fry uh you you hit a panel uh it's sort of like a big desk with lots of touch screens and stuff and you just sort of go you fire a laser bolt into the top and then an access panel underneath blows in a shower of big old sparks on the bridge everyone wibbles for a few seconds what are you doing down there it seems like you've hit something pretty hard for quack's sake for denzel i'm trying to work here navigation systems offline you hear as the ship slows its burn and you can suddenly sort of move freely again the incredible pressure on your chest um is uh is relieved um captain dead grandparents yes yeah we can captain captain dgp is fine from now on captain dgp i have run a diagnostic and completed my court martial you have been found guilty of treason hey we're not i have cameras you know yeah that's how my gun goes off accidentally i was trying to trying to stop it but the burn i was like whoa and then i pointed at the thing and fired i demand a fair trial on every single screen in the ship there is footage of you going really carefully taking aim um i've plugged my usb stick in and replaced the footage with an episode of season 2 of er s2eo3 s2 e03 sure not seen this one yet underscore george clooney's going to get court martials it appears episode do one teach one kill one replaced my memory banks for court martial nonetheless verdict has been given due to lack of evidence appeals are now closed man this is just like when carter gets his first patient and loses him in the episode do one teach one kill one computer requesting you scan all episodes of vr and compile them to assemble a new personality for yourself dr romano deny successing profile dr ramana dispatching engineering robots to fix navigation systems and dismantle alt captain please designate new captain we should leg it to engineering and try and help corazon please i've got something for you to designate captain this designate that it's dumb computer disgusting please designate i'll be the new captain l1l1 call me call me captain prudenzia please captain prudencia in system c sharing names isn't that hard great star wars ghost prudencia what are you doing dispatching drawing mutiny someone needs the authority right so yeah that's me i'll take that great sacrifice and i'm seated in pieces um you hear uh a hatch go dong open uh somewhere down somewhere down the corridor and then you hear a scuttling noise uh and into the room scuttle uh half a dozen little mechanical beetles with sort of clenchy jaws and little buzzsaws in their mouths yeah and then uh two of them go and head towards the panel you just shot but the other four um open their mouths and go and start slowly advancing on on corazon because they're going we should head towards engineering and just check those robots are doing a good job dismantling our former captain yeah welcome to the party boys i bought enough lasers for all of you and i pull out two more guns i've got two two in each hand i'm gonna fire that sounds convenient okay uh right yeah um you're gonna fire four guns at once yeah okay so i've got a clan guys it's just one [Music] because you're a lasers expert basically do you get a third for having four guns it feels like it should be a solid yeah why not feels like it should be an impediment rather than an advantage but yes we're only 3d6 okay oh it's a one that's a failure it's a four and a four so two successes um yeah you um you fry two of the um you fry two of the the beetles this is just like when carter accidentally perforated his patients liver in the episode i love that you've memorized this like five thousand year old television program oh it's absolutely classic did i mention it's a religion here in the future i mean that's what the art stands for everlasting religion emergency religion george tiberius clooney um the two beatles that were fixing the navigation system scuttle out and start to try and fix the uh the others um you are going to be attacked um [Music] make me uh bring me a 1d6 feelings roll please to avoid harm it's a six oh great uh yeah you very you barely avoid hammers these uh as two of the beetles scuttle forward and try and like um what they managed to do is tear up the um trousers of your spacesuit and they wreck your cool space boots my space boots um so you'll pay for this not so two things to bear in mind number one you don't look nearly as cool as you did two seconds ago and uh two you're going to have a hard time if uh the ship ever loses atmosphere everyone else you arrive in um you you sort of follow the sounds of of lasers and my boots and um scuttling beetles yes can i check for a uh bathroom on the way down it's been a long trip yeah you can hit the head um i basically i take off my helmet and i fill it with water right cunning and i take it with me down to engineering you're going to have to shout into a food hole but is it is it not like just like a that's why i went bathroom oh bathroom oh don't shout into the food hole in the bathroom i assume sardoff has done a similar thing but his helm is full of martini and then he puts it some orange slices just floating on top he he runs into engineering you see him like goldfishing trying to eat a maraschino cherry um yeah okay you yell into the into the the the bathroom waterhole yeah yeah i'm like what's please it turns on it turns on one of the showers and you can fill up your your helmet um so um one of you drinking an entire helmet full of uh martini and one of you carrying a helmet full of water um you basically all of you are now in engineering and you see um that the um the two repair beetles have almost done a good job of getting the original two back online um so there are four operating beetles two in attack mode two in repair the other two mode and two are being fixed up what what are we doing prudenzia what are you what are you up to okay i seize one of the attack beetles before it goes for corazon again and under the guise of optimizing it to make it more deadly so that it might better disassemble for my captain i i try and just i try and destroy it but make it look like i'm trying to repair it i'm just like poking it with a screwdriver hoping to like do some damage but i'm like l101 i'm going to improve your your little beetle bot that's very kind captain um make me a 2d6 lasers roll please yeah 2d6 lasers oh it's a 5 and a 1 that's laser feelings that's laser feeling amazing yeah you managed to um you managed to hey you managed to take it offline b there is an easy way to optimize this thing and um and make it far more deadly if you wanted to just as an aside you're like man you also get to ask me a question because you've got laser feelings okay okay um wha what how how am l 1l1 vulnerable is that too too obvious too easy a question um no i don't think that's that's it i think it is um it's probably the answer is probably uh just sort of um undying programmed in loyalty to planet delacore you can you can use that okay i can use that i think um blow up planet this very very deadly beetle that i can make more deadly can i at the same time disable it i i somehow interrupt it's kind of like logic circuits reprogram it essentially turn it into a beetle pet is what i'm saying two another two d6 lasers roll please yeah [Music] oh it's a that's a six and two so passing a fail okay hmm you do you do manage it um this thing is now disconnected from uh l101's ai system but um it follows very simple commands it can't be you know it you've got to be really direct and blunt with this thing it is not bright oh i got a stupid robot beetle guys um what's what's happening how many other um beetle bots are there there are now uh well there are five two of them are non-operational two are repairing and one is attacking the two that are repairing each other can i just jump on and stomp on them yeah quite i'm quite heavy yeah a little bit sensitive about it actually but well in that case this is a feelings roll um we'll call this a 2d6 why not okay uh four which is exactly my number laser feelings yeah do i need to roll the other one no sod it um uh yeah you you just come down and you just stomp on them like um the two that were being repaired are like they come to life and sort of start feebly dragging themselves over to the other robots and trying to fix them um you get to ask me a question [Music] um is there any way that egg bot could interface it's my thinking robot okay um is there any way that eggbot could interface with liliana and potentially like hello um consuming control no but uh interfacing and communicating with the ship's ai directly yes okay that is possible it requires an interface port i've got one of those you know [Laughter] please save us you've got a helmet full of full of water where what where are the final bots one of them is scuttling around it is gearing up to attack uh stardom um because it's it suspects that he is distracted and weakened possibly poisoned um one of them couldn't be more wrong did a reading of this one alcohol level one of them is actually better when i'm drunk um one of them is clutching at um prudentia's hair just like grabbing idly like a little baby and then there's a pile of four on the floor two very very smashed two mostly smashed and they're mostly smashed not quite as smashed as dog but they're getting there so you can either try and hit the the one that's still up and alive and kicking or you can put down the four that are just in a big group okay i might go for the one that's alive and kicking the others don't seem like they can do much so what i do is i get the water um the panel is like not fixed no cool so because i was gonna chuck it on there to really mess up it it's not gonna get fixed the robots are gone so i'm gonna go for the the little one i'm gonna pour water on it and then trap it in the helmet okay uh i would say that this is using science and reason uh because it's it's a very reasonable course of experience it's a yes so this is a lasers roll we'll call this another td6 okay because five and a five no yeah the floor is very very wet um the floor is very very wet and there's sort of there's a jolt to the two fixie bots um and they kind of like and they suddenly turn and abandon the very smashed ones and turn to one another and like super fast they start fixing each other uh they are basically operational again um dub uh they sorry startup they charge up md uh you need to get out of the way of these things what are you doing you're about to take him and unharm uh all right um i'm about to take imminent harm uh i'm gonna just i'm i'm gonna just go whoa like that out to off to the side whoa like that and try and keep my drink level whoa uh that's feelings because you're driven by raw reactions and a desire to keep your drink um oh let's call it 2d6 because you're very experienced in drinks that's two and that's five laser feelings oh yeah i'm not loads of feelings you do you managed to jump out of the way you may ask me a question uh all right um the question i would like to ask is um [Music] can a ship's computer like liliana is it is it capable of feeling uh conflicted or tired or disenfranchised or loved angry um how emotionally i mean complex emotions like on we are not really programmed into these things they they operate on cold hard logic but could it be emergent what i'm trying to ask is is there a conversation path that we could have with liliana that leads to liliana basically being cool and being on our side is it possible doubtful um that's possible yeah she she is absolutely convinced that destroying pachinovum is is a good course of action okay okay okay uh corazon you've gone in a while so how many how many robots we've got left [Music] three three all right i put away one of my laser guns got yeah two in one hand one in the other and i'm just going to line that up okay we'll make this a another 3d6 lasers roll why not okay uh that's a one a three and a five okay uh oh did i say hi and i said lasers didn't oh you said lasers yeah i meant feelings feelings because it's two successes and a failure okay great um yeah you actually like again the rest of you like damn this is frustrating how cool he can make things look uh you put down wash and learn i take it back it looks super dorky but he puts down the three of them he's like what's your name indeed you're getting a hard time major you put them all down do you're now effectively out of out of combat the um the beatles have been vanquished one of them has been turned into an adorable little pet um and el well no one comes over the speaks and says captain prudencia your crew she gets a normal name she told me her name previous captain and condemned man condemn this is something your previous crew has no not your previous crew your crew they suck they've stopped me from killing the former captain yeah they're not they're not great they're terrible they need some on-the-job training so i thought i'd bring them down here to engineering and show them how it's done uh yeah that we're here for training purposes um can i motion to eggbot because i would like to have a private word with eggbot okay i'm gonna lean in egbert trundle's over on his one wheel home action meanwhile merrill when you look like you have something to say yeah um i i merely stop them because i believe uh he should have a fate worse than death and we should deal with him after we have completed the mission okay interesting yeah she's my number two she's my second in command two i see meryl wynne because she wants to punish captain dead grandparents even you'll never actually you'll never take me alive i say matt ill when registered as xo yeah moving on a kiss and a hug what do you want to chat about stardom eggbot yeah do you think it would be possible technically possible for you to fake to spoof an incoming communique from the planet delacore was it a planet i think it was a planet or was it a people i think it's a flat planet from the planet it could be like new orders or something and it could say hey here's the new orders yeah it's happy hour cancel all um missions get the food replicator making up some drinks all this businessy stuff right all this what are we what if we uh have a a message from delacorte that says that they've uh signed a merger between the three planets and they're going to create a conglomerate that will uh dominate the fiendi market across the universe right that's great what oh what but that sounds that sounds like it's going to be a hard sell but how about what it's but what if it's a communique from delacor that just says like the mission is totally still on however recent research has shown that it's more profitable in the long run if uh crew and the ship are allowed to uh enjoy uh a friday afternoon or whatever day it is it's always friday somewhere baby um enjoy like a friday afternoon off you know and like stall on island for a bit yeah and we basically buy ourselves some time have a few drinks have a few laughs head to the coast and in that time one of us can like i don't know disable the ship's computer or you know go wing it from there get some coconut shrimp from the food replicator got it well i've just transcribed that what you just said as a message and i'll um i'll just ping it over the old bluetooth okay now that's all i just all got to act surprised when the message comes in yeah all right okay absolutely i blew to stardom's message okay incredibly bluetooth still yeah the number one wireless technology i have to get close to the computer to do it where you're gonna have to deactivate and reactivate it eggbot just made up the name bluetooth because the drink that uh stardob has been drinking has turned his teeth blue has stayed invented the technology reinvented it yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah you've reinvented bluetooth done um it's still gonna have to roll for it technology is still bad um okay so just remind me the contents of the message it's not that this is not to not destroy patcher no it's just that everyone's having the day off yes yes because it's more profitable in the long run employee morale is extremely important it's more profitable in the long run for everyone to take a break yes yeah a day's break right now despite the mission yes including the ship's computer okay yeah sure um we're going to make this a lasers roll i think because you are basically it's it's technical interfacing with um with the computer you've got to put yourself in pairing mode you've got to put l1 l1 in i've always been johnny you may have to enter the on-screen code i'm going to need a little privacy for this you guys i avert my eyes what are you doing with your hat i can't see what you're doing with your hand on camera i'm rolling my eyes on i know but it really doesn't look like that so please crew member designated eggbot i sense you are trying to make a connection with me is that obvious don't give me that look i sense give her that look again i sense you are trying to use a newly invented communication software why do robots share information shouldn't be a problem with you new protocol i'm sure please step behind the privacy screen as privacy screen shoots out from the wall shielding experts at egbot sorry from from view um there is uh some wearing and a big like a mechanical clunking noise um oh yeah that's the stuff please make me a two d6 lasers roll okay uh i got a five which is a fail [Laughter] and a two which is a success okay i think um so this is a spoofed communication correct attention crew we have been given a new order what delacore everyone is ordered to head to the food hall and order the coconut shrimp great oh man and i assume the communique that you sent their egg bar included a thing about um striking my conviction first oh no no no it was simply no time no yeah we've got a character limit on these things bluetooth and then we ran out of characters if i'd used wi-fi i could have uploaded many weeks i had to write coconuts i had to write coconut shrimp several times shrimp emoji and then i ran out of characters and then the nachos all crew are encouraged to go coco nuts in the metal um some some like uh tropical music starts playing over the speakers as l101 continues and says however crew are authorized to defer break time and continue with duties until dangers have passed incidentally minutes guys i've got a plan it's just crazy enough to work coconut shrimp to go um uh but at l101 um we'll like die if he concludes his message concludes this message by saying uh manual controls of ship authorized for combat yes shame no one of us can fly right prudenzia you know you know like computers and that is laser expertise for something that looks like a server bank or a mainframe possibly nitrogen cooled um yeah that's uh maybe 3d6 lasers roll woo here we go oh that's a six or six and a five so lazy females no well yeah there's laser phoenix yeah oh five is loads of themes okay um okay good news you know where the ai core is bad news um okay uh this is a delacor built ship uh and the ai is basically integrated with the fusion reactor in a sort of dead man switch sort of way if the ai is taken offline the ships like the ship's bottle will drop and you will all be vaporized into a radioactive mist so which bit do i shoot prudencia no i bash his hand out of the way so he probably shoots something less important i shoot something less important no coconut shrimp coconut why don't you fly the ship uh and shoot down all these fighters or something i don't why do i want to shoot they're defending their home the space station yeah we should fly because we've got manual control so we should fly let's get with inhaling range what if oh what if we flew into uh electromagnetic field to disable the a.i with its own yeah wouldn't it vaporize i think solar flare a solar flare or something right i don't know much about lasers but i got a feeling it's gonna work what if we can like somehow trigger or build an emp of our own for example what if we put like a bunch of tinfoil in the microwave and pushed it out the window towards their ships and then it's like oh you mean you want to use an emp you want to emp the fighters yeah okay good all right it doesn't it doesn't kill them no i want to emp this ship no so that the evil ai doesn't kill us because it will because they're integrated if without the ai we get vapor we're not we're not killing it we're just it just temporarily disabling it let's eat so we can get our fighters non-fatally non-fatally take that take them out we've got seven minutes until the fight has arrived so let's deal with the fighters first however you want to microwave tinfoil sounds like a plan to me uh and then we'll worry about the ai are there any more spacesuits around because mine's all tattered um oh can i have the trousers off the dead captain you can uh i thought you threw the dead captain out of the uh airlock there are there are other suits great point i just i see that he's been thrown out of the airlock oh no wait his trousers are snagged on this hook and that's not dignified for his corpse i was perfectly happy to offer you a brand new suit but yes you're now wearing the trousers of a dead man dead but if they're snagged are they not also no they only they only got tangled i can unscrew them okay because they've got loads of those weird cargo loops these are really uncool trousers are they like jnco jeans those like massive yeah hey don't make fun of space junkers we all have those phases so don't pretend going through that phase right now [Laughter] set phases to genes all right so what do we want to do then we've got vices coming in we've got an evil ai legally disable the fighters so let's all go to the british and we've got emp have we got any ion cannons on this ship that'll disable the electrical systems no ion cannons there are you know that there is a missile system um that uh yeah we saw that in action you still have a bin bag yeah there was a sudden clap of something yeah um uh there are point defense cannons they're kind of in the like you get in a little bubble and you're in a gimballed uh gimbal chair and you're flinging yourself around like um like the legend of the millennium falcon um and there's a rail gun which can be fired from the bridge uh the railgun obviously takes a long time to reload and can only fire like once every so often but if you're looking to modify systems like yeah and if i know sci-fi the solution to this won't be existing ship tech we're going to have to like macgyver together like something that has a like a really straightforward explanation for like putting so much air into a balloon yeah right we over charge the sensor array that sounds like a thing and overload we need to reverse absolutely imagine and it will it will be like the biggest microwave you ever saw imagine the microwave this yeah imagine popcorn that turns into the corn kernel so it goes backwards yeah that's what i was dropping to the front of the missile now all i'm imagining is the corn kernel yeah howdy folks it's me the corn colonel oh okay shucks what if we go to get to the sharks yeah you've got a shocker corn um i was going to offer you uh to to change the uh railgun realms and just stick a microwave in one of them but reversing the polarity on the center array is hmm always works yeah i love the quantum neutrino field got to work yes absolutely yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah do all those things we said on the attacking ships from the space station okay this is going to take everybody um could be getting some jefferies tubes please yeah um i want a double check for a jeffrey's tube yeah yeah i want to check the numbers on the uh johnny neutron that'd be great yeah absolutely um i mean obviously the only way to to go to the center array or check the numbers on the johnny neutron is through a jeffrey tube um everyone is is crawling um and like having all of you sort of having conversations that end in someone going do we really have to have this conversation now well you're like um your spacesuits are getting like uh like grimy in a cool way i want everybody to make me a 2d6 lasers role and i'm going to count the number of successes you have as a party okay great one one success for me as well oh what two successes this one i got a two and a one so i actually did get one success and also laser feelings wow okay so that's actually two successes if you get laser feelings mm-hmm feelings counselors okay so great two four six and startup uh two failures okay dammit i'm a doctor not a doing things man you guys do it wish you were doing things man okey dokey um you guys i'll be in the sick bay waiting for your corpses in the sick bay looking for medical ethanol between you you manage to reverse the polarity on the sensor array and basically it will give out one tremendous blast and one tremendous blast only because you will break the sensor array in doing this so if there are any fighters left and you do have to go to ship to ship combat you're gonna be flying blind yeah but that's fine because we'll figure out something else yeah agreed he's right yeah oh well forgive me for trying to inject a bit of dramatic tension if if it doesn't go to plan there'll be a hitch that you'll get over in some other scientific way for my question oh yeah can i ask um if is there a way to disable the ship's um engines that we're on um without blowing everything up without blowing everything good probably by being close enough to that blast um but you're like oh well that's a terrible idea um is it though only a really excellent pilot could bring us close enough to the emp blast to disable the engines but yeah not destroy the ai or the ship guys and it's just tyler i've got a plan it's just crazy enough to work if you imagine if we catch ourselves my hand is the ship and like here is the here is the engines okay and here is the ai and this is the blast of the emp we gotta fly in that far but no further you gonna fly no [Music] we fly that way into the emp so we can disable the ship's engines yes but not the ais so it doesn't blow up and therefore we will leave this as a stranded floating space hulk that can't go anywhere and we will die on it we can make our escape we'll find a pod or something or we'll swim through space or something we'll find a way off we just need to disable this ship first question i mean is there a shuttle do it do we know if there's a shuttle some sort of run about yeah an escape pod any other minor vessel aboard this vessel there is check the manifest check the manifest yeah there is an escape pod how many how many seats does it have okay cozy folks um i can cling to the exterior yes if i hold my breath i reckon i can probably make it on the outside oh that's oh two brave volunteers that's wonderful because there are three seats okay well you do have a space suit stardove yeah just remember where i was remember where i was i'll go in space and stay still and just come back for me when you when you can sounds agree all right this sounds like a great plan everyone let's do it time for lasers um uh you you're kind of all already liliana says 20 seconds two contacts um and then there's a and then slightly distorted um you hear a transmission coming in saying ah attention unidentified vessel this is captain bismuth captain of attack group alpha from pacquiao novum you have violated our space and uh frankly we do not like the look of you so unless you turn back now we are going to shoot you it's a bit judgy captain bismuth um we come in peace identify yourself i'm uh i'm captain prudenzia of the uh the ss espera and uh we definitely come in peace it may not appear that way but we're having some issues with our shipboard ai you are all going to die you yeah that's the one oh yeah there she is yeah she is it's been a lot of this pretty one note you the uh captain business bismuth is so flustered or possibly old that he forgets to uh to close his radio channel uh and you hear one of his men go oh god no that's an l1l1 and uh you hear a second voice go we can't do this again sir not again bismuth says quiet silence and then uh he's like uh is aspara yes that's us no we're gonna shoot you now bye thought there'd be more to that all right me too time for some fancy flying okay um let's get i i would like to try and get to the shields i would like to find the thing that makes shields go up and put the shields up okay uh yes there um there is basically a big a big dial um that just says shields and then there is just a big readout that has a percentage damn it speak english i can't figure out my scientific i'm a doctor damn it not a shield engineer i hit the i hit the panel hard as hard as i can actually i take out my bone saw and start sawing it oh we could really use those shields no wait not on the engines though like not on the engines don't shield the engines maybe this is your dog for the best guys stardub uh sauce on the thing for purchase shields offline really wait i wish you consult with me before doing unauthorized works on the ship i'm tempted to court martial the lot of you in some cases again double jabbing yeah i've been convicted questions for the same crime liliana i say as i slam it into a bank turn it and head out towards the fighters okay i hit the butt i hit the button that makes the red lights come on and the sound like the red light it's all happening sparks rain from the ceiling intermittently um and especially from the shields console um corazon how would you say you fly do you fly with your head or your heart oh man it's feelings all the way baby fly on it instinct yeah okay um i'm a real soul flyer i'd like you to make me a 3d6 evasive maneuver as uh the action group uh opens fire on you okay that is a three a three and a four nice um it's like almost poetic you see these kind of these lines of flack spreading out and curving um through the infinite reaches of space as um the the fighters seek to rake the the aspara with fire um and everyone has to really hold on the ship effectively just like pirouettes through all of these it's just ducking and weaving and spinning um you've never felt more alive and or queasy um your your internal gyroscope eggbot is going so bananas that you are you have a breakthrough and you realize what it might be to be a human and feel queasy or an alien excuse me it'll win um um yes okay so what's the plan what are we doing now the fighters are gonna start coming around for another attack run i think we need to get them bunched up so we can hit them corazon with a single blast of our sensor array i can't hold them off forever folks so yeah let's get them kite them into like a bunched up configuration i reckon cool when you're down in munitions maybe load up load up our sensor array or whatever okay he says through a mouthful of scotch mario when earlier came unspooling a cable of um like fibre optic wire to the center array and it's attached to um a highly uh technical uh control panel uh it's got a big t plunger on the top and it's nice as soon as it's armed you just smash that down and it'll go um so uh i would like um this is gonna be a 2d6 uh feelings roll from you please corazon uh if anyone wants to assist we'll make will make the sort of a group action uh you can do me a lasers role 2d6 to use uh diagnostic panels and sensor arrays while you have them to provide tactical support you'll know i mean agata in this in this situation uh i rolled a four and a five i got a lazy feelings nice yeah i got a four and a two four is my laser feelings number one outstanding failures okay two failures johnny all right it's still enough um you you you basically you managed to corral the uh the fighters into a tighter clump than you think they would like to uh by fainting that you're going to do an attack run and also uh uh there is a passing flock of space seagulls and if they get in the engines it's terrible for a spaceship so they're like oh i don't know why we gotta save those space eagles they're endangered yeah i mean these things can survive and fly and squawk in a vacuum they're incredible they they can't do any of those things that's why they're endangered why did they go to space there was an enormous enormous storm about 800 years ago that blew all of them into space and somehow they've managed to breed it's like they're my greatest field of dead seagulls yeah that's it there you go it's like the great atlantic ocean uh like a trash patch but it's just seagulls in space um you thought never to see it with your own eyes but there it is and it's actually helping you in a way um in its way you have managed to corral the fighters right where you want them um before mer ilwen throws the plunger um corazon and uh eggbot you can both ask me a laser feelings question uh oh someone else who got the laser feelings oh sorry eggbot you first you've got a question do you think uh liliana could be tempted into a sort of battle of robot wits for control over the um ship if i found a logical reason for that to happen yes these kind of uh challenges are not uncommon uh but if you're the one issuing the challenge then l1l1 will get to determine the terms okay julie noted prudence here okay um if we muck this up and the engines don't go offline how badly could this go um if the fight is if the fighters are taken out and uh l1 l1 still has control of engines um it's it's likely the the attack on on patreon ivan we'll succeed okay possibly either either by setting off missiles or just plowing straight into the uh this the space station okay those are the odds right thank you for telling me the off you are welcome always tell me you know you can make a more informed decision yeah um right meh ilwen uh i need you to throw me that plunger but first i need you to say something cool and thematically appropriate here it comes okay no pressure though watch this sparks fly everywhere um briefly before the uh the sensor erasing diagnostics go offline on the ship you see uh a wave spread out with the the the um the aspara as the um as the source and you see the signals on on the um is it drada's contact in battle style basically on space radar um they all wink off so you're pretty sure you've fried their electronics um uh so again like external cameras on the ship are offline temporarily um so you can't see but you are you are pretty certain that while you are currently sitting ducks because the engines are offline um you're pretty sure you're not about to be blown to smithereens by uh by the by bismuth's action group cool liliana i just wanna you've done a terrible job of running the ship the engines are offline the center array is destroyed i think you're unfit for duties as the ai of this ship and i think you need to assume you need to give control to me a superior is this a mutant is this a space mutiny no no it's completely logical if you want the mission to succeed liliana you're failing so you need to you need to give me control of the ship now yeah that's right this is a vote of no confidence in you liliana i challenge you to a an intellectual robo challenge to to establish my dominance therefore you must cede control of the ship to me this seems remarkably unfair given that you were the ones who sabotaged the censor array it didn't stop us though did you lillian i thought we were just basically ballast liliana i can't believe you're blaming my parenting for this mess yeah i meant my support let's take the plunge damn it's better it's better now yeah it was worth the wait um i love it however let it never be said that a system from delacore a system system an ai from delacore is a coward i accept your challenge the challenge will be and there is a pause um come on twister you must try and create coconut shrimp better than mine oh my god that coconut shrimp was excellent okay you've never made coconut shrimp in er that's the only thing i've got in my database let's check the memory banks they must do in they must do in season six or something yeah you remember yeah episode ah i know how to i know how to rig this i mean i say this in my head yeah that's a thought yeah um that you are permitted like liliana uh conveys to you that you're permitted to yell into the food hole for any ingredients you desire she's taking the libert liberty of dispensing some shrimp a coconut uh is this tight is this time limited do we have a time limit for this challenge i think three minutes i mean if yeah go on then okay cool accept your terms good okay um and what i do is i i stick my usb drive and i copy over all of the cop uh all of the episodes of er because i'm gonna fill up her hard drive to the point where she runs so slowly that she cannot successfully create a coconut shrimp because the hard drive is full of er eggs episodes of vr in 4k 8k episodes of pin sharp dr romano can you believe they went back and remastered it i'm going to slightly sabotage lyanna by uploading and filling her hard drive full of junk um junk obviously great egg box egg eggbot season 8 episode 21 on the beach dr green's final days are spent in hawaii teaching her to drive himself that one's got to have the recipe in it yep okay also address that for the recipe to go the 1999 episode middle of nowhere featured a character called shrimp as played by james edward coleman the second okay so throw that in there i need i process all right okay please make me a 3d6 lasers roll come on lasers all right let's see that's true that's a three which is a success that's a one which is a success and another one which is also a success yay okay uh the time elapses uh the time passes rather and uh it is time for judging um have you made anything to present eggplant yeah i've created a you know coconut a fine coconut shrimp make me a 1v6 maybe a 1d6 lasers roll just to see how the coconut shrink sure went uh that's a fail it's god awful it basically just punched a hole into a coconut fed all the shrimp in and just like then blended it with a finger attachment and has poured it into i've just pushed a shrimp into a bounty liliana is like dispense this is the thing coconut shrimp i've known mark green since he was a wet behind the eagles red student he had the most beautiful blonde curly hair and so polite um just a sock like a wet sock full of coffee grounds and a single shrimp falls out of the food hole liliana what the hell is this seems like you've lost the contest liliana and now eggbots is the ai in charge of the ship oh i say guys i've got a crazy plan it's just crazy enough to work i fire my laser at liliana's speaker again you make me a loser's role make it to 2d6 uh it's a six and a one so that's one success it's got to be that's the two extremes yeah yeah you you shoot the uh the speaker and you're not sure if it was the the gun shot in fact you're pretty certain it wasn't the gun shot uh you're pretty sure it was all 15 seasons of vr but liliana has been silenced and um there you hear a noise which of course any any of you familiar with the exciting new technology bluetooth will know but it is asking to be paired with a new ai i pair with the ship eggbot you become you you are still distantly aware of your actual robot form but now really you are aware of being an entire spaceship um you're in pretty bad shape but you know uh you can you can hard reboot the systems and at least get the engines back online you're right i'm going to do that then i'm going to hard reboot the systems uh and then i can use my own inbuilt gps yeah sure uh to set a course for um uh and we're gonna we're gonna dock with the space station yeah and i will hail them and explain the whole story succinctly in a way that does not need to be repeated here okay i grow the i blow the laser smoke off my ray gun i say too bad liliana looks like ai stood for ass idiot you get back you get back to the um the space station um and captain bismuth who is an enormous hulking great dude with like muscles on his muscles walks up nice and goes oh damn it crew of the aspera i don't like you what we like you why i think he's gonna finish that sentence beer yeah i pour out a container of bin bag onto the floor and that is how um you reinvented bluetooth and coconut shrimp hooray you're welcome in the future okay everyone thank you so much for watching this oxventure in space hope you enjoyed i hope you're enjoying metaverse and if you want to keep the good times going then we're going to be doing a q a which is a ticketed event you can still get tickets there's a link in the description of this video and also if you head to our twitter twitter.com outsidexbox there's details there of how you can jump in and you can ask us what the hell that was all about or questions about episodes of er what's your favorite episode who's your favorite character what was the deal with that helicopter and dr romano we will answer all your questions about er so hopefully we'll see you over there soon can we guys can we sign off by all doing like a sort of synchronized sort of in our chairs like bracing for yeah which way right right we'll put a little an alarm sound on it as well we're all going to lunge to our right because that's where the that's because the missile's hitting is impacting to the left okay okay okay all right three two one impact oh damn it man

Channel: Popverse

Views: 164,602

Keywords: oxventure, outside xbox, outside xtra, Jane Douglas, johnny chiodini, Ellen Rose, Luke Westaway, Mike Channell, Andy Farrant

Id: zCOjzzWRruw

Length: 97min 57sec (5877 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 14 2020