Outrageously Funny Moments of Christopher Hitchens

among between different Buddhist and Hindu groups they've been terrible episodes of homicide and worse there are some parts of the world where they've calmed down and got over it but it doesn't entitle us to forget what religion was like when it thought it could get away with it okay anyway my principle is absolutely one of coexistence and even of cultural admiration as long as the fangs are drawn and if you say they've been drawn in Bali good on them it's just it just goes against the idea that religion poisons everything which is your your basic what's your well it's a rhetorical when you're describing a culture that they're praising it as far as I know justly to precisely the extent to which it doesn't resemble really a religion is that me having it both ways [Applause] [Music] that's partly why I favor compulsory religious instruction in schools because I know of no other way to guarantee the steady mass production of atheism those who ask confessions from other people should be willing to make one oneself I am obsessed with sex ever since I discovered that my god-given male member was gonna give me no peace I decided to give it no rest in return seems clear to me what if you get what you guys like what do you get if you cross the Jehovah's Witness with a Unitarian someone who comes and knocks on your door for no particular reason Unitarians are religious - they say the parent belief is one God at the most I had a debate on the BBC recently with them Canon's Lee one of the deputies of the Archbishop of Canterbury I mean which I said that one of the things I disliked about Christianity when I was quite small was having to think of myself as a member of a flock in other words as a sheep or lamb and also to having to reflect that shepherds did looking off a sheep just because they like them there's some Shepherds like them much too much but in order that they can first fleece them and then kill them it's it's really odd in fact that I chose to do this as a devil's advocate interview but let's leave that aside you know we wait absolutely have to now yeah I was asked by messenger I was asked who know not chapter 10 again please sir not in case you don't know and haven't got the damn book yet and I'm not sure Stephen it's not in there yet um I was asked by the Vatican to testify against the sainthood nomination of Mother Teresa against initially heard the a certification and I said yes of course I was very I was very honored to be asked and yes your holiness the first time I've ever said that and the last as well so I went to testify and I've made a discovery that I thought I'd share with you everyone used to think they knew one thing about the Catholic Church will they were Catholics or not that in sainthood arguments they have a devil's advocate cartas diabolo and it was true until very recently the last Pope scrapped this office the office doesn't exist any longer I was poly so he could fast-track sainthood he made more sense the last Pope did then his 10 predecessors combined in double so the overcoat Estela by office was shut down no longer is there so I had to testify just in a seminar room with a Monsignor and a deacon and a priest and a tape recorder and a Bible and I realized halfway through that I'd just become the first person in history to have represented the devil pro bono what if they'd listened to the Atheist community in Northern Ireland which is a real thing and if they listened to the secular movement in Northern Ireland which is a real thing and I know so many people who suffered dreadfully from membership in it not excluding being pulled out of a car by a man in a balaclava and asked a Catholic or Protestant Jewish atheist actually what what are you busting Jewish atheists or no wonder where they asked repeatedly would say whether they thought Stephen Fry my friend was in a state of mortal sin or not they wouldn't tell you something about the question brought out there in a called-- well I say that homosexuality is not just a form of sex it's a form of love and it deserves our respect for that reason that if when I when my children were young I'd have been proud to have Stephen as their babysitter and I've told them they were lucky and if anyone came to my door as a babysitter wearing Hurley orders I'd call first a cab and then the police do you do regard any of the world's religions do you regard any of the world's religions to be false preaching yes yes I think yes certainly would you name one that Islam that's quite a lot pardon me that's quite a lot yes do you therefore do you think it's moral to preach false religion no so religion is responsible quite a lot of wickedness in the world right there certainly right I'd be happy to concede that I would agree with that so if I was to be if I was a baby being born in Saudi Arabia today would you rather I was me or a holly husband would I be you would entity would you rather would you rather it was me it was an atheist baby or the Wahhabi David [Applause] III don't have any preferences the weather as as as bad as that okay consider yourselves and consider this carefully ladies and gentlemen brothers sisters and comrades friends are you are you yourselves willing for the sake of certain elements of the numinous perhaps for a great record of good works as its proposed measure are you willing to say that you give your allegiance to an ultimate Redeemer because they're not really religious if you don't believe that there is a divine supervision involved you don't have to believe it intervenes all the time if you don't believe that you're ready halfway out the door you don't need me there must be something very persuasive about those who put this meeting together because they maybe break to my usual rules one is not to enter a house of worship without wearing a vast necklace of garlic around my neck and the other is to do no work no labor of any kind on the International Day of the working class may day so you may be break2 for a start but shake that's what commandments are for so so what he's done is trying to find what he feels is the least obnoxious religion he can find and then not take it too seriously what would you say to such a person well that used to be called the Church of England or the Unitarians about him Bertrand Russell said the great thing about them is they believe in one God maximum peace is very good on this he says people used to be pagans and polytheists and believed in multiple gods and then they started believing in one God and they're getting nearer the true figure of all the time this is progress I'm a Navy brat myself I'm from Portsmouth and there's a famous story about her the young officer undergoing a rigorous examination for the past for captain and he's told to picture himself on a Leawood shore with a very strong wind driving him towards the rocks he's asked what he's gonna do he says well cram on all say all sail and steer to starboard hard down on the tiller and on the wheel said but the wind keeps coming it's you're still being driven off what are you gonna do now it's a cram on more sail and keep the wheel very hard down away from the leeward side and but but you're still being driven onto those rocks young man what are you gonna do now it was crammed one more sail and keep the keep the rudder and the tiller hard down on the on the starboard side and it he's interrupted said where are you getting them where you getting all this extra sail from and he says the same place you're getting all your extra wind from Michael wanted to just do this sitting down but I it's the old demagogue in me I need the pulpit I need the podium and if I can't be erect at least I can be upright by the way do you know why the why the Amish girl the Amish girl the Amish girl was excommunicated - Mennonite visitor goes to the western wall sees a man tearing at his beard banging his head on the wall shoving messages into it rate of knots wailing and flailing what is the fascination when the guy finally breaks off excuse me I couldn't help noticing you were being unusually devout in your addresses to the wall to the to the Divine's could you mind if I asked you I'm what you were praying for he said I was praying that there should be peace though there should be mutual love and respect between all the peoples in this area and said what do you think's as the visitors yeah it's like talking to the wall [Music] [Music] you

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Id: HaBIDUYWKzA

Length: 10min 26sec (626 seconds)

Published: Wed Mar 20 2019