OH THAT HAPPENED FOR SURE |r/ThatHappened

i just walked into kfc and was social distancing when the manager came up to me and said how nice my ass is i told him to leave me alone and that people like him are the cause of coronavirus and the riots everyone started cheering for me and clapping guess who starts as kfc manager tomorrow and you know that green redacted growth to be that's right the colonel sanders what is up my aesthetic boys it's fresh back with another video from r slash that happened the subreddit where people lie about pretty much anything but most of that anything is about either girls or masks blue redacted is it true that you stole a teacher's car in high school well if you and a friends lift a volkswagen beetle and moving more than 10 feet without permission turns out you've just stolen that car so funny story when my dad was in high school in the 70s he took apart his high school principal's car in the parking lot and got the football team to help him carry the pieces onto the auditorium stage where he reassembled it curtains go up to the weekly assembly there's the car the principal immediately knew who did it and basically told him that as long as he had the car reassembled and in working order back in the parking lot before the day was out he wouldn't get in trouble the principal got to drive home that night yet the only car you can disassemble and reassemble that fast is one made by little tikes the hell kind of school was this probably charles xavier's school for gifted youngsters walmart experiences tonight this little girl maybe six or seven runs up to her mom nearby and says mommy mommy look at this cute jacket may i please get it for winter mom looks at it looks at her i haven't had enough subscribers this month to get that and puts it on the rack mind you mom has four handles of cheap vodka in her cart they walk away little girl looks ultra sad i go over to the jacket and it was 26 and some change so i buy it give it to the little girl and say merry christmas walk off sure enough they are parked a few cars away mom comes up to me how dare you embarrass me like that in front of my kid i said you might have more subscribers if you stopped drinking that vodka and took care of yourself have a good life i hopped in my jalopy and drove off some people man well yikes you know i'm a youtuber reading this when i look at this and think oh man well you don't get money from subscribers but hey go off karen best part of my day was transitioning to my afternoon class apparently the kids coordinated an awesome welcoming for me i walked in and they all got out of their seats bowed and started saying all hail the queen to which i replied back to your seats peasants and they all burst out laughing i seriously love my kids so much she said back to your seats peasants and then they all sat on their own [ __ ] and got the plague at one of my first dates since kovitz started last weekend refused to wear a mask despite her initial objections made her laugh grabbed my date and made out in front of a bunch of shocked maskers it's all a big [ __ ] scam now see this makes some sense to me not in the way that it could have happened but earlier this fall i was walking down the sidewalk with a friend of mine both of us wearing masks and a guy talking to a girl both maskless were on the side of the road as we pass by the guy turns to us and says that's right keep walking with your masks on which i thought was funny because that's what we were going to do anyway mr tough guy over here okay but also i got to assume that this tweet was the scenario running through his head maybe just maybe if he's anti-masked enough someone will sleep with him woman just apologized to me for her son acting like an [ __ ] of publix by saying sorry it's his first pandemic my response he gets too close to me again it'll most assuredly be his last ah threatening kids in the supermarket and then thinking to yourself oh this will make a good facebook post i know karate jeez sorry or spongebob would say karate when i was a senior in high school a lot of people were getting robbed after school by gang members finally they tried it with me once it was two guys one had a gun he said give me your money essay i said are you sure this is the direction you want to go they started cussing i then took the gun with one move that around has kicked to the other guy's face knocking him down in a dropkick to the first guy's nuts i said you still want my money one guy was crying they both ran away i didn't even realize a lot of kids were watching and they all started clapping my crush was there she gave me a kiss on the cheek she ended up dating me and the rest of the year i was treated like a king i'm in college now and we're getting married never and i mean never underestimate the small guy i think the the funniest part about this facebook post to me isn't about whether or not it happened it's the idea that the the line that was crossed by the guys holding him up for his money like literally mugging him was that they started cussing like this is the chronology first they start to mug him and he's like are you sure you want to do this but once they started swearing oh it was over for them i wrote a paper got an a then forgot about it later a teacher congratulated me for getting my work published in a magazine i was so confused but then i realized what was happening and my blood ran cold my paper had indeed gotten published in a magazine under my teacher's name she straight up stole my work and got paid for it i wanted to punch her in the face but the school's humiliating punishment was better than any revenge i could have asked for the school forced her to do some original writing in the form of an apology letter wait hold on why is this sponsored what is this an ad for someone paid for this to be seen by a bunch of people why a kid just pulled a dead squirrel in a plastic bag out of his backpack and started eating it oh my god i hate public school look i went to a public high school and sure there was some crazy but i can promise it wasn't quite eat a dead squirrel during geometry type crazy got tested for kova 19. it came back negative however the doctor comes back and says it's negative because you had it at one point your immune system is so suppressive it mutated its dna to eliminate any mutation this virus has in essence your dna is a cure to this i told him i am not interested in having my dna be replicated nor donate unless i will be getting paid for every vial that contains my dna no sir you cannot be paid i said well you can't and whoever else that has it can't be cured i just walked out wait wait a second though let's play this hypothetical out if we are to believe this disjointed verbage this man does indeed have the cure to the pandemic in his dna what does he do about that he not only refuses to help cure people he refuses to help cure people and then goes and brags about it on facebook he's like i'm an [ __ ] and i'm going to make sure everybody knows it my job accidentally put 4 000 hours on somebody's time clock and his check was 23 000 dollars he quit the next day and now they can't find him right because that is the only way that they could possibly get that 23k back as if they would write that 23k check in the first place without realizing something was wrong police officers have read it what was the silliest thing you've heard from someone trying to avoid a ticket for speeding not a cop but i told them i was in a rush to [ __ ] his wife got body slammed and a dui that night oh yeah that happened for sure though what actually did happen is this common format on any ask reddit thread that says police officers of reddit because if you look at any of them every single comment is well not a police officer but y'all can talk [ __ ] to me if you like but i was expelled from 12 schools before i even finished grade 5. i did a year in a mental hospital and i did get kicked out of a school on the first day of school and my last violent outbreak i broke my teacher's arm and if that wasn't enough literally took a mouthful out of her thigh and i spent time in juvie but i've been clean for six years so shut the [ __ ] up y'all that's right the best way to win a facebook argument is be like get this guys in fourth grade i literally bit a chunk out of my teacher's thigh are you sure you want to argue this political comment on this public facebook thread lest a chunk also be bitten out of your thigh one time i sent my girl an 11 11 text while another girl was laying in my bed after we had sex plot twist turns out i sent it to the girl that was in my bed it was awkward for a bit but we eventually went for round two oh homie jeez are you trying to normalize cheating cause that's kind of cringe back when i was nine i bumped into this girl on the beach she was older i'll assume she's in her 20s then i immediately apologized to her like crazy i kept on saying i'm sorry over and over again she laughed and gave me a long kiss on the lips it was my first kiss and bloody hell dude it was so cringe imagine getting your first kiss at nine good thing no one saw she was hot by the way oh that's that's a pedophile you you were sexually assaulted i'm i'm i'm glad that you're doing okay now and given the 21 down votes i'm also glad that other people are not okay with normalizing these kinds of stories i was the only kid in my junior english class that knew what a garand was my teacher was so shocked he made me take honest the next year maybe it had nothing to do with your vocabulary it was just because they do that to everyone who gets like a b in english they're like yeah you take the advanced placement class oh well me being the simpleton i am i didn't know that it was actually pronounced gerund so there you go i guess i'm not getting recommended for honors english i had a bully in school when i was four he was 16 he was being mean to me and i smashed his head with a rock weeks later he apologizes for being a bully and gave me his most valued hot wheels and i forgave him we're friends to this day and i treasure that hot wheels car yeah this is why you need to be 13 years or older to have a youtube account so hopefully we have fewer of these comments also selling about collecting privacy data and all that [ __ ] but this is more important i've turned four lesbians straight this is so obviously fake as if anyone's had sex with four women [Music] you

Channel: fresh

Views: 91,551

Rating: 4.9613366 out of 5

Keywords:

Id: pa93qVPYCAo

Length: 10min 37sec (637 seconds)

Published: Wed Dec 23 2020