I LOVE DURAN DURAN.
I LOVE DURAN DURAN. I LOVE THEM SO MUCH.
>> OH YEAH. >> THEY'RE AMAZING.
>> James: WHAT A CAREER. WHAT AN ABSOLUTE-- AND, TO STILL
BE TOGETHER. TO STILL BE TOGETHER.
>> YEAH, ONE OF THE MOST IMPORTANT BANDS.
>> James: YOU KNOW I FIRST MET SIMON LeBON IN 1999, RIGHT.
I WAS, HI BEEN, HI THIS TINY LITTLE PART IN A COMMERCIAL THAT
WAS FILMING IN MILAN. AND I AM FLYING BACK FROM MILAN.
AND I SAT DOWN. AND THERE IS LIKE A LITTLE, AN
EMPTY SEAT HERE. AND SIMON LeBON SITS DOWN
THERE. AND I AM LIKE-- .
AND WE TAXI OFF IN THE PLANE. AND I HAVE MY-- IN, TAXI OFF AND
JUST AS WE ARE GETTING TO THE RUN RANGE HE GOES BINGE BONG,
I'M SORRY, THERE SAY PROBLEM WITH THISSARY PLANE.
WE'VE GOT A TECHNICAL FAULT, IN PLANE CAN'T TAKE OFF HOWEVER
GOOD NEWS IS THERE IS ANOTHER FLIGHT OUT IN THREE HOURS TIME.
AND THERE IS ENOUGH SEATS FOR EVERYBODY ON THIS PLANE SO
EVERYBODY IS JUST AUTOMATICALLY BEEN PLACED ON THAT FLIGHT,
WE'RE VERY, VERY SORRY. AS WE ARE TAXIING BACK, SEARCH
LIKE UGH, LIKE THAT AND SIMON LeBON, WE HADN'T SPOKEN LENT
OVER TO ME AND WENT DO YOU WANT A VALIUM?
(APPLAUSE) >> YES.
>> James: AND I WAS LIKE T IS ONLY THREE HOURS.
AND THEN A BIT LATER ON I WAS IN LIKE THE LOUNGEE GETTING A DRINK
AND SIMON LeBON HAD SHADES ON, HEADPHONES AND WAS DOING THIS.
AND I THOUGHT YOU IDIOT, OF COURSE YOU SHOULD TAKE SIMON
LeBON'S VALIUM, OF COURSE YOU SHOULD.
LOVELY, LOVELY GENTLEMEN. WE ARE THRILLED THAT THEY WILL
HERE. WE SHOULD SAY FIRST OF ALL,
HAPPY PURIM TO ALL WHO CELEBRATE.
IAN, WHAT DO WE DO? WHAT DO WE DO ON PURIM ANYTHING
SPECIAL. >> YEAH STRKS A FUN ONE.
YOU PUT AN ORANGE UNDER YOUR PILLOW EVERY NIGHT WHICH IS
SILLY BUT LIKE A HARVEST THING. AND THEN LIKE FOR DINNER, LIKE
TONIGHT I WILL HAVE, YOU HAVE LIKE EGGS AND PICKLED
VEGETABLES, THE EGGS REMIND YOU OF RENEWAL AND PICKLED EGGS
REMIND YOU OF THE BITTER TIMES AS WELL.
AND THEN THIS IS A VOW OF SILENCE FROM SUN DOWN TO SUN UP.
SO TONIGHT NO TALKING UNTIL-- I MADE ALL OF THAT UP.
YOU HAVE NO IDEA, DO YOU. >> NO.
>> James: IT ABSOLUTELY COULD BE TRUE.
IT COULD BE TRUE, AND I WAS LIKE YEAH, THIS DOES SOUND LIKE A FUN
YEAH. >> YEAH, ANY JEWISH HOLIDAY,
OUTSIDE OF HANUKKAH YOU WITH JUST TELL THE GOYA WHATEVER YOU
WANT AND THEY WILL GO WITH IT. >> James: THE FOLLOWING THAT
IS TRUE, THE FOLLOW SUP THE ORANGE WAS THERE ALL NIGHT.
>> ALL NIGHT. >> ST FUN, SORRY TO INTERRUPT
STVMENT LIKE OUR HALLOWEEN ONE, YOU DRESS UP.
>> IT IS A GREAT HOLIDAY BECAUSE ARE YOU TOLD TO DRINK WINE AND
BE MERRY. >> James: I LOVE THAT.
>> YEAH. ESPECIALLY THE TORA.
>> James: BUT IF YOU ALSO NEED AN EXCUSE TO DRINK WINE AND BE
MERRY WE SHOULD ALSO SAY IT'S JOEL'S BIRTHDAY TODAY, LADIES
AND GENTLEMEN, WHERE IS HE, THERE IS HE, HAPPY BIRTHDAY,
BROTHER. >> THANK YOU.
>> HAPPY BIRTHDAY, JOEL. >> THANK, JAMES.
>> James: HOW OLD ARE WE TODAY.
>> LET'S SAY I'M OLD ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER BUT YOUNG ENOUGH NOT
TO CARE. >> James: AND I LOVE THAT.
SENSATIONAL. ALSO I SHOULD SAY THE FESTIVITY CONTINUE BECAUSE
ST AFTER MIDNIGHT TECHNICALLY NOW WHEN ARE YOU WATCHING THIS,
THIS MEANS IT IS OFFICIALLY ST. PATRICK'S DAY.
HAPPY ST. PATTY'S DAY. EVERYBODY.
ST. PATRICK'S DAY IS THE BEST DAY OF THE YEAR FOR THE WORST
PERSON YOU WENT TO HIGH SCHOOL WHERE.
OBVIOUSLY IT IS THE DAY WE CELEBRATE THE PAT RON SAINT OF
ISLANDS BY EATING CABBAGE AND CORN BEEF SINGING TRADITIONAL
IRISH SONGS AND HELPING YOUR FRIEND HEATHER FIND HER CELL
PHONE THAT SHE SWEARS SHE HAS NOT LEFT IN AN UBER, MEGAN, GOD!
>> THAT'S ON ME T WAS A GOOD JOKE.
>> THAT IS ALL RIGHT, I RAN OUT OF BERT, I RAN OUT OF BREATHE.
[BLEEP], [BLEEP]. >> James: YEAH, ST. MATTIE'S
DAY, GOING TO DO ANYTHING? >> YEAH, TRADITIONAL ONCE, I
WILL PLACE AN ORANGE. AS WE'D ALL LOVE
TO SIT AROUND AND CELEBRATE THE VARIOUS HOLIDAYS, I'VE GOT A
SACRED DUTY. AND THAT DUTY IS TO GIVE
AMERICA, ITS UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, NAY, THE WORLD, THE
GLOARKS THE NEWS. THIS MORNING, UKRAINIAN
PRESIDENT VOLODYMYR ZELENSKYY GAVE A VIRTUAL ADDRESS TO THE
UNITED STATES CONGRESS, ASKING FOR MORE ASSISTANCE
IN DEFENDING HIS COUNTRY. HE CAME OUT WITH BOTH GUNS
BLAZING. BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THOSE BICEPS.
AFTERWARDS, PRESIDENT BIDEN GAVE AN ADDRESS OF HIS OWN, PROMISING
AN ADDITIONAL EIGHT HUNDRED MILLION DOLLARS IN SECURITY AID
TO UKRAINE. WHICH BRINGS THE TOTAL AID THIS
WEEK TO ONE BILLION DOLLARS. WHICH IS NEARLY FOUR GALLONS OF
GASOLINE. >> James: AND DID YOU SEE THIS?
DONALD TRUMP JUNIOR HAS NOW WEIGHED IN ON THE SITUATION IN
EUROPE. LAST NIGHT, HE TWEETED ABOUT
PRESIDENT BIDEN GOING TO EUROPE NEXT WEEK.
HE SAID, "SENDING BIDEN TO EUROPE FOR
'HIGH STAKES' NATO TALKS WILL ONLY EMBOLDEN OUR ENEMIES
FURTHER. IF YOU WANT TO GET SOMETHING
DONE RIGHT, SEND TRUMP." YEAH, THAT WILL DO IT, MAYBE THE
KICK IN THE PANTS NATO NEEDS IS A FAILED
BUSINESSMAN CALLING THEM ALL LOSERS AND SUCKERS AND
TELLING THEM ABOUT HOW THIS ENTIRE CONFLICT IS ALL
THE FAULT OF HILLARY'S EMAILS. I WANT TO BE CLEAR, THOUGH.
UNDER ANY OTHER CIRCUMSTANCES, I AM ALL IN FAVOR OF DONALD
TRUMP LEAVING THE COUNTRY. ANY TIME I WANTS.
MOVING ON, IS EVERYONE HERE FAMILIAR WITH NEW YORK'S FAMOUS
ROCKEFELLER CENTER ICE SKATING RINK?
WELL, IT CLOSES FOR THE SEASON THIS WEEKEND BUT,
FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME IN DECADES, IT'S GOING TO BE
REPLACED WITH A ROLLER SKATING RINK.
YEAH, FIRST ICE-SKATING, NOW ROLLER SKATING, ROCKEFELLER
CENTER IS EXCITED TOO THEY'RE PROMOTING IT AS,
"NOW YOU CAN FRACTURE YOUR PELVIS ALL YEAR ROUND!"
I'M GENUINELY SHOCKED I HAVE NEVER ROLLER SKATED WITH
ON THIS SHOW, LIKE AT SOME POINT, THAT SEEMS LIKE THE SORT
OF [BLEEP] WE WOULD HAVE DONE. CAN YOU ICE-SKATE, NICK, CAN YOU
ROLLER SKATE. >> HAVE I DONE IT BUT I DON'T DO
IT REGULARLY, I'M NOT GOOD AT IT.
>> James: EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?
EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT? >> IS EVERYTHING OKAY?
YEAH, IT IS GOING GREAT, GOOD MONOLOGUE, A LOT OF FUN, YOU'RE
DOING GREAT. >> WHY.
>> James: WHAT'S UP WITH YOU TODAY?
>> WHAT DO YOU MEAN? >> James: I DON'T KNOW, YOU
ARE LIKE A COMPLETELY DIFFERENT PERSON.
>> I'M NOT, SAME OLD NICK YOU'VE ALWAYS KNOWN.
>> James: I DON'T THINK THAT'S TRUE.
SAME OLD NICK THAT WE'VE ALWAYS KNOWN USE TOED LOOK LIKE THIS.
(APPLAUSE) YOU MORE THAN ANYONE CANNOT SAY
THE SAME OLD NICK YOU USED TO KNOW.
EVER, EVER. >> YOU SEEM A LITTLE BIT-- ARE
YOU READY ALL RIGHT? >> HAVE I PEOPLE IN THE AUDIENCE
TODAY. >> James: AHHH.
>> YEAH, AHH, EVERYBODY. MY WIFE SHEER WITH SOME FRIENDS.
>> James: STOP, ANDREA, HOW ARE YOU.
>> I'M GREAT. >> James:-- IS THAT WHY ARE
YOU DOWN. >> YEAH.
>> James: NONE TAKEN, BE HONEST, WHEN HE SAID I'M JUST
GOING TO GROW IT OUT, WHAT DID YOU THINK?
(LAUGHTER) >> I DIDN'T THINK IT WOULD COME
TO THIS. >> James: HARD TO KNOW WHETHER
THAT IS A COMPLIMENT OR NOT, ISN'T IT, REALLY.
I DIDN'T KNOW IT WOULD COME TO THIS.
HOW FAR ARE YOU GOING TO GO WITH THIS, NICK, WHERE ARE WE GOING
TO STOP? >> I THINK THIS IS THE FURTHER
LONG. >> James: I'M GLAD, I DON'T
THINK YOU CAN GO FURTHER. >> THE NEXT STEP ASK LIKE A FUN
MUSTACHE GOATEE COMBINATION. >> Reggie: THAT WOULD BE COOL.
>> James: CAN YOU SEE THIS HAPPENING.
>> I'M NOT WILLING TO TEST THE BUND BOUNDARIES OF OUR
RELATIONSHIP. >> James: OUR RELATIONSHIP OR
THAT RELATIONSHIP. >> YES TO ALL, YES.
>> James: YOU VERY MUCH SEE US AS A THRUPLE, DO YOU?
ANDREA, BLESS YOU FOR COMING. WE'RE SO HAPPY ARE YOU HERE.
ANDREA BERNSTEIN, EVERYBODY. >> James: IN OTHER NEWS, A
SILICON VALLEY VENTURE CAPITAL FIRM HAS NOW APOLOGIZED AFTER
THEY POSTED A JOB OPENING THIS WEEK THAT REQUIRED
APPLICANTS TO SUBMIT THEIR I.Q. SCORES.
THEY APOLOGIZED AFTER THEY GOT PUSHBACK.
I'M NOT SURE THEY MEANT IT, THOUGH, BECAUSE THEIR APOLOGY
STARTED WITH, "WE'RE SORRY
YOU'RE ALL SO DUMB." THE SILICON VALLEY COMPANY SAID
THEY WILL INSTEAD CONTINUE HIRING PEOPLE THE OLD FASHIONED
WAY, GIVING JOBS TO THEIR FRIENDS' KIDS.
I DON'T THINK THEY SHOULD BE GIVING I.Q. TESTS.
BUT IT'S STILL BETTER THAN THE TEST WE USE TO HIRE PEOPLE
ON THIS SHOW, THE BUZZFEED DISNEY PRINCESS QUIZ.
I'M ARIEL. >> James: AND HULU AND RED BULL
ARE JOINING FORCES FOR A LIVE, DAREDEVIL STUNT.
IT WAS ANNOUNCED TODAY THAT TWO STUNT PILOTS WILL PUT THEIR
PLANES INTO A FREE-FALL, LEAP OUT, AND THEN SKYDIVE INTO THE
OTHER PERSON'S PLANE. THEY'RE CALLING IT "PLANE SWAP."
OR AS SPIRIT AIRLINES CALLS IT, "A CONNECTING FLIGHT."
IT'S PRETTY RISKY. AND AS A RESULT OF THE EVENT,
RED BULL HAS ALREADY CHANGED ITS MOTTO FROM,
"RED BULL GIVES YOU WINGS" TO, "RED BULL OFFERS YOUR FAMILY ITS
DEEPEST CONDOLENCES." AND FINALLY, MIKE TYSON'S
CANNABIS COMPANY IS NOW SELLING MARIJUANA GUMMY CANDIES SHAPED
LIKE EARS, WITH BITES OUT OF THEM.
THEY'RE CALLED TYSON BITES AND THEY'RE A REFERENCE TO WHEN
TYSON BIT A CHUNK OUT OF EVANDER HOLYFIELD'S EAR DURING A
TITLE FIGHT IN 1997. HERE THEY ARE HERE, OR,
IF EVANDER HOLYFIELD IS WATCHING THIS RIGHT NOW,
(SHOUTING) I SAID MIKE TYSON'S CANNABIS
COMPANY IS SELLING MARIJUANA CANDIES--
YOU'VE HEARD OF EYE CANDY? WELL, THIS IS EAR CANDY.
DON'T YOU DARE, NO, STOP, DON'T YOU DARE CLAP FOR THAT.
ARE BETTER THAN THAT, WE'RE NOT, YOU ARE.
THE GUMMIES ARE MODELED AFTER THE INFAMOUS INCIDENT BACK
IN THE NINETIES. LET'S HOPE THIS TREND
DOESN'T CATCH ON. YOU DON'T WANT TO SEE THE
GUMMIES, BASED ON THE TOMMY LEE SEX TAPE.
AND THAT'S THE NEWS! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK, EVERYBODY.
