-(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING)
-And finally, New Rule, if you're out protesting for a couple of hours
wearing this, you have to go all the way
and spend an afternoon running errands
wearing one of these. (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) You can't side with the people
who ruthlessly oppress women without at least
getting a taste of what you're supporting. (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING) Well, now that summer is here and the Hamas-backing
college protesters have dispersed back
to their summer internships -at Goldman Sachs...
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING) ...I thought it might be
a good time to say this. I actually admire
your youthful idealism, and our world
would be poorer without it. Much like your parents, who just wasted 300 grand
on that ignorance factory -you call a college.
-(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING) Not that I think
it's your fault being this poorly educated
and morally confused. That takes a village. Shitty schools,
overindulgent parents, social media, that priest
who rubbed lotion on you. -But...
-(AUDIENCE EXCLAIMING, LAUGHING) But three cheers
to you for at least having the impulse to seek a cause in something bigger
than yourself. It's just that
the one you picked, you missed the boat
by a fucking mile. (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING) But here's the good news.
You want a cause? 'Cause I totally got one
for you. Apartheid. Yeah, apartheid,
the thing you've been shouting about with Israel for months. Never mind that Israeli Arabs
are actually full citizens. You learned that word
from a 2 Chainz song and discovered that protesting
South Africa's apartheid in the '80s
was a righteous cause, and so it was. To this day,
when celebrities are asked who is the person
they most admire, one name is always
the safest choice. -Nelson Mandela.
-Nelson Mandela. -Nelson Mandela.
-Nelson Mandela. -Nelson Mandela.
-Nelson Mandela. -Nelson Mandela.
-Nelson Mandela. Nelson Mandela. (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) So-- (CHUCKLES) So, naturally, when you heard that Israel
was an apartheid state, it gave you such a boner,
you literally pitched a tent. (AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING) You knew how wrong it was
when tens of millions of South Africans
had been treated like second-class citizens
just because of their race. But here's the thing.
Today, right now, hundreds of millions of women
are treated worse than second-class citizens. When you mandate
that one category of human beings don't even have
the right to show their face, that's apartheid. And it goes on in a lot
of countries. (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING) For the last couple of years,
women in Iran have been saying, "Take this hijab and shove it." (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) Because in 2022, a young woman named
Mahsa Amini was arrested for wearing her mandatory hijab
incorrectly and then died
in police custody. And now, security forces
have killed over 500 people protesting her death and this obvious
human rights violation. How about defunding
those police? (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) Amnesty International says that, "Iranian authorities
are waging a war on women that subjects them
to constant surveillance, beatings,
sexual violence, and detention. What P. Diddy calls
a hotel stay. -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING)
-(CHUCKLES) In Iran,
Me Too isn't a movement. It's what a woman says
when another woman says, "My life sucks." (AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING) Yasmeen Mohammed
is a human rights activist who got married off
to a Muslim man with fundamentalist views
about women, not exactly uncommon
in the Muslim world. He forced her to wear
the niqab all the time, including once beating her because she took her hijab off
at home because the apartment had
a window through which people
might see in. And this was in Vancouver. Here's what Yasmeen said
about veiling. "It just suppresses
your humanity entirely. It's like a portable sensory
deprivation chamber, and you are no longer connected
to humanity. You can't see properly.
You can't hear properly. You can't speak properly. People can't see you.
You can only see them. Just little things,
passing people on the street, and just making eye contact,
and smiling, that's gone. You're no longer part
of this world, and so you very quickly
just shrivel up into nothing under there." And that's my answer
when someone says "Islamophobe." -(MOUTHING INDISTINCTLY)
-(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING) Really, feminists? Come on. There's got to be
a happy medium between a husband
making his wife wear this and a husband
making his wife wear this. (AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING) I know 1619 was bad,
but this is happening right now. -Right under your nose rings.
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING) And it's not just the clothes. Fifteen countries
in the Middle East, including Gaza, have laws that require women
to obey their husbands. Laws. Not just
Harrison Butker's opinion. (AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING) And those societies also have
guardianship laws, which means
a woman needs permission from her husband to work,
to travel, to leave the house, to go to school,
to get medical attention. -Nothing?
-(CRICKETS CHIRPING) (AUDIENCE LAUGHING) Honor killings,
where women are murdered by their own fathers
and or brothers, happen so frequently
they can't even have an accurate account
of how many. In 59 countries,
there are no laws against sexual harassment
in the workplace, and many have no laws
against domestic violence or spousal rape. Twenty countries
have marry your rapist laws. -(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
-(AUDIENCE CHUCKLING) Multiple societies have laws about what jobs women can
and can't do. Make a<i> Barbie</i> movie about that. -Thirty--
-(AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING) (AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING) Thirty countries practice
female genital mutilation, and 650 million women
alive today were married as children. -(CRICKETS CHIRPING)
-(AUDIENCE CHUCKLING) Kids, if you really want
to change the world and not just tie up
Monday morning traffic... -(AUDIENCE LAUGHING)
-...this is the apartheid that desperately needs
your attention. -Gender apartheid.
-(AUDIENCE CHEERING, APPLAUDING) This is what should be
the social justice issue of your time. How about,
"From the river to the sea, every woman shall be free"? -But in--
-(AUDIENCE APPLAUDING, CHEERING) But in reality,
it's not an issue at all, for one reason. The people who are doing it
aren't White. I hate to have to be the one
to break it to you kids, but non-White people
can do bad things too. (AUDIENCE LAUGHING, APPLAUDING) Now, White-on-Black racism
certainly has been one of history's
most horrific scourges, but also, it's true
that in today's world, being non-White means
you can get away with murder. So, good on you kids
for following your instinct to protest social injustice. Just remember, when it comes
to finding a cause, pulling your head out
of your ass is an important rite of passage.
