New Rule: Ditch Your Dating App | Real Time with Bill Maher (HBO)

[Applause] and finally new rule this year for Valentine's Day let's celebrate the fact that in-person meetups are finally making a comeback yep yep that's what I've been reading that after years of being conditioned a search out prospective mates by swiping our phones singles are putting on pants and heading out to places like grocery stores parks and of course for Republican Congressman the Old Reliable truck stop restroom foreign at the upscale grocery chain here in L.A called air one also known as shop and Shag it's reported that they purposefully make the aisles narrow so that as you squeeze by you feel People's Energy in-person energy so retro apparently even Home Depot has become quite the pickup place the Home Depot dating trend on Tick Tock has 3.6 billion views of women who I guess regarded as the perfect venue to find eligible men willing to work with their hands laughs who cares if they're mostly illegal aliens as one woman wrote I'm headed to Home Depot look confused confused in the lumber aisle ah a damsel in distressed genes and why not even a not terribly bright guy can figure out how to respond when a woman or a gay man says excuse me I'm looking to get some wood can you help me but here's a little life tip for the men if you want to get with a woman try this trick talk to her yeah in person because here's what's happened in the last 10 years the phone ruined dating and porn ruined sex and women have been left with men who don't know how to actually talk to a woman anymore and who think first base is anal and second base is choking it's not surprising that women are finally revolting Against The Superficial scroll and swipe form of dating that of course works for men who are over sexed and disgusting and biologically designed to seek the maximum orgasms for the minimal amount of work today dating apps took the worst inherent traits of men and exacerbated them by a multiple of infinity let's see I'm horny I'm lazy I'm a coward and I suck at honest communication is there a way I could have an electronic Harem right in my hand with the only answers are ever yes or next as far as effort goes it's one notch above sticking your dick in the vacuum cleaner don't get me wrong technology is a wonderful thing I was just saying that the other day to my Japanese sex robot [Applause] R2 me too but just because something is on your phone doesn't mean it's better and that's the lesson women should have taken away from all this dating from the phone took away any incentive for men to cough up the two things women want from them courage and communication the courage to step to her for real and demonstrate your desire enough to risk rejection and communication women are communicative creatures even when they're breaking up with you they say we need to talk [Applause] we are endlessly hearing about girl power and being a girl boss please ladies you let the technology play you and you got punked by your phone of course Tinder is every guy's dream a hookup Rolodex but it's the opposite of what you want intimacy emotional availability and being seen as a full human being I know we're all fluid and non-binary and totally free and super Brave now but here's the thing we're not not mostly women haven't changed that much you know how I know this because the bachelor is still on foreign [Applause] Bachelor in Paradise are you the one perfect match Joe Millionaire farmer wants a wife the courtship the Real Love Boat Cosmic Love Love In the Jungle Love on the Spectrum Love is Blind love Island Temptation Island and MILF Manor okay great not MILF matter take that one off that is some sick that but the other thousand shows where women still want the Roses the romance and the commitment should tell you something they don't plant emoji and a text at one in the morning what's up they want you to compliment their hair notice what they're wearing and hear about their day I know it's a nightmare but it's still better than the incel life of having a fake girlfriend on only fans and paying rent to your mom so let's build on this budding trend of doing it in person let's hearken back to that time when the mirror wasn't just for selfies but to make sure you didn't look like when you left the house let's remember that at one time stout-hearted Americans roamed this continent and mated face to face and that's why so much of America today is named after these Intrepid horndogs places like romance Arkansas and Intercourse Pennsylvania Bumpass Virginia and Morehead Kentucky ball play Alabama and three-way Arizona horny Town North Carolina boneville in Georgia and ramtown in New Jersey spunk Creek Minnesota and hump Mountain West Virginia to name just a few we did it before and we can do it again Happy Valentine's Day everybody

Channel: Real Time with Bill Maher

Views: 983,262

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Id: GjnJu8go-YQ

Length: 7min 41sec (461 seconds)

Published: Sat Feb 11 2023