Negotiation Principles: GETTING TO YES by Roger Fisher and William Ury | Core Message

I recently read getting to yes negotiating agreement without giving in by authors Roger Fisher in William ury most negotiations feel like trench warfare two parties take a position dig in and battle it out let's say you're thinking of joining a start-up and you insist on receiving five percent equity in the company but the founder only wants to give you one percent so you go back and forth for days trying not to give in your ego becomes identified with your five percent position so you cling to your position and try not to give in because you don't want to look weak then after a long drawn-out negotiation process you agree to meet in the middle but neither party is really satisfied plus the battle has fractured the relationship between you and the founder which makes it difficult to work together as the authors of getting to yes a standard strategies for negotiation often leave people dissatisfied worn out or alienated and frequently all three in order to avoid long and bitter negotiations and preserve the relationships between you and the people you negotiate with it's imperative that you learn and practice a set of negotiating principles from the classic negotiating guide getting to yes first try on their point of view second invent win-win agreements and third insist on using objective criteria your goal at the start of every negotiation is to transform the negotiation from a heated face-to-face battle to a side-by-side activity where both parties work together to solve the problem and create a win-win solution because when people feel involved in the creation of a solution they're more likely to accept that solution but this is hard because as the authors put it the people you negotiate with have egos that are easily threatened they see the world from their own personal vantage point and they frequently confuse their perceptions with reality in the book the author's provide a great example of this when a negotiation between a tenant and landlord breaks down the tenant thinks the rent ought to be low because the neighbor his rundown well - landlord thinks we landlord should raise rents to improve the quality of the neighborhood when the tenant thinks I always pay my rent whenever she asked for it the landlord thinks he never pays the rent until I asked for it when the tenant thinks she's cold and distant she never asked me how things are the landlord is thinking I'm a considerate person who never intrudes on a tenants privacy if you can take time to understand the contrasting points of view in a negotiation the person you're negotiating with will be less angry offended and hostile and the more likely they are to join you in his side-by-side effort to create a mutually beneficial agreement so before you enter negotiation try on their point of view take time to go for a walk in the other person's shoes by imagining how they may have arrived at their current position and why they might be feeling pressure to hold their position maybe their boss is pressuring them to not compromise or maybe their wife is pressuring them to get the best deal possible once you think you have a good understanding of their perspective say let me see if I can summarize your position you want a because a B or you want X because of Y if you're an office manager in a salary negotiation you might summarize your employees position by saying let me see if I can summarize your position you want to receive a higher raise than the standard 5% annual raise because you've hit all your annual targets and you feel like you're taking on harder projects than most people in the office and you try to explain the other person's position in a way that satisfies them you'll either notice that what they want is more reasonable and fair than your first thought or as you explain it they start to see that it doesn't make as much sense as they first thought hearing their position relayed back to them it's almost like hearing their first draft read out loud and noticing the typos and grammatical errors with some back-and-forth clarification the two you will reach a point will you'll be more inclined to work together to resolve any confusion and find a mutually beneficial solution rather than cling to original positions negotiation principle number two invent a win/win agreement a difference in perspective is the source of conflict but it's also the source of many win-win agreements I'll explain using a simple example say there's a lemon sitting on the kitchen counter and my wife and I are negotiating over who should get it if we have the awareness to step back and ask wait what do you need this for she might say I need this for my recipe and I might say I need it because I want to add lemon juice to my water at that moment we realized that we can both get what we want I only need the lemon juice and she only needs the lemon zest for her recipe so I zest the lemon give it the zest then juice the lemon and we're both happy as the authors say a satisfactory agreement is made possible because each side wants different things if you're starting a business and you care less about how much of the company you own and more about keeping your expenses low so the company will be successful you'll quickly reach an agreement with an employee who thinks your business will be successful and cares more about equity than salary at this point if a general manager of a professional basketball team is negotiating a new salary with his star player and the GM only wants to offer 10 million a year but the player wants 13 million dollars a year both parties can reach an agreement based on different beliefs if the player believes he's going to have a breakout year and the team is poised for a playoff run but the owner is more conservative the GM can offer a contract with the base salary of 10 million and a bonus of 3 million for every playoff series a team wins that way in the off chance the team does well the extra revenue they make in the playoffs can offset the bonus by leveraging the differences in perspective both parties reached an agreement they were satisfied with so to find an opportunity to create a win-win agreement focus on how your interests values and beliefs differ from the person negotiating with negotiation principle number 3 insist on using objective criteria if you can't reach a mutually beneficial agreement act like a judge and insist on using objective criteria to decide your case let's say you got in a car accident and total to your car and an insurance adjuster only wants to give you $5,000 for your car but you know it'll cost you at least nine thousand dollars to buy a similar car after one conversation with the insurance adjuster you could tell he's trying to bully you and isn't interested in finding a mutually beneficial agreement so you insist on using objective criteria to settle the disagreement you find a fair market value for your car but finding three comparable cars that just sold in the used car market by getting the standard Blue Book value your cars model and year am i finding out what a court might award you by talking to a lawyer we're looking at public settlements then the next time you talked to the insurance adjuster say I understand if you're bound to the company policy but based on these examples I believe I'm entitled to at least $8,500 why don't you look over these documents and we'll talk sometime next week whatever he comes back with insist on using objective criteria get in the habit of asking what's your basis or how do you arrive at that figure by insisting on using objective criteria to decide a negotiation you let the other party know that they can't win simply by pressuring you and the only way that you'll reach an agreement is by agreeing on a standard with which you can settle the dispute so if your negotiation reaches an impasse and you're feeling pressure to give in get in the habit of asking how would a court decide this research standards existing precedent cultural norms fair market value or a neutral third party expert that you'll both allow to settle the dispute so the next time you enter negotiation prevent that negotiation from turning into a positional battle that resembles trench warfare and damages your relationship and instead try on their point of view and then invite them to work with you to resolve the conflict then try to invent a mutually beneficial agreement by focusing on your differences and lastly insist on using objective criteria like existing precedent professional standards or cultural norms to reach a fair agreement that was the core message that I gathered from getting to yes by authors Roger Fisher and William ury if you want your negotiations to go smoothly I highly recommend reading this book if you would like a one-page PDF summary of insights that I gathered from this book just click the link below and I'd be happy to email it to you if you already subscribe to the free pro TV game email newsletter this PDF is sitting in your inbox if you like this video please share it as always thanks for watching and have yourself a productive week

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Id: EKHg9H0G6go

Length: 8min 38sec (518 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 23 2019