"Nah I Aint Gonna Do Heroin" | Part One

wanted Freedom adjust the frames got keys to Kingdom unlocking chains so but a podcast open up your brains so the podcast let's get it man welcome back to another episode of sober the podcast with your host Bradley Saxon and uh we got Chris Yates in the house today fellas Y what up Cruz what up what going on what up so we're going to continue in our tradition of the three-pointer Chris and today we're going to play you three different songs and however many you get correct at the end of the show you'll get to shoot the three-pointer to determine if you'll be taking home some merchandise today okay you ready to go hold you to that all right bet you ready to go absolutely all right we'll start off easy all right DMX you know the name of the song I don't know that I do stop drop open up sh Rough Riders we'll give you that yeah all right we'll make it a little bit harder here's for the second song that's Aon and Jeezy It's Aon it's not Jeezy you know the name of the song you didn't give it time steady try yeah look at him bro yeah oh all right for the last one I was locked up when that came out a no doubt you I was all right for the third one it's a little bit harder here I recognize a beat maybe when you hear the voice bro can I get him my clue no come on bro you supposed to be gang I feel like it's a jaw roll song no oh no way H give him one more oh yeah J yeah oh no that's Luda [Music] yeah all right three out of three so at the end he'll be shooting for some merchandise um you know 90s rap bro 2,000 rap you make you get one it don't matter you get three it's like the fair bro like you're not taking on all my merchandise I can't win a new car or nothing like that no I mean if you make all three you leave a one piece of item okay okay um but and welcome to the lab thank you for coming through Chris and uh being willing to share your story uh it's a powerful one I've heard it but uh we excited for the listeners to hear it and uh we're going to just sort of do we're we're going to do it the way we've always done it which is the framework for Testimony is what it was like let me let me say it this way in a general way of what it was like sort of the turning point of where you're at today and then now as you've engaged in recovery in your relationship with God sort of what it's like now okay okay I'm good with it and CJ and Cliff and I will just sort of navigate the conversation with questions um and we'll do it like that all right I'm good with it good with it all right let me get us some tunes going on man so that we can uh we can navigate this conversation I we'll just go with this one right here I'll turn it down a little bit all right Chris did you uh so let's talk about what it was like for you growing up um did you come from a broken home uh yeah my parents uh split up I was probably 12 years old they divorced yeah my dad left and uh you know he went from coaching all my teams baseball basketball you know being very involved to me not seeing him at all for several years yeah so um do you think that I mean how'd that make you feel uh definitely made me feel rejected or you know just like where's Pops at yeah like I mean we spent a lot of time together for a lot of a lot of years and then he you know I couldn't even get him to come to my games after that yeah and and let's be honest there's always more to that story like that ain't a kid's yeah like that that necessarily ain't at Chris's age any of his business yeah yeah right cuz that's grown man stuff but it affects the kids in a way to where we could actually grow up and be angry at our family and not really know the whole story right well sometimes it's protection to not tell us yeah and so that's good Cliff they think that uh or we think that it's hurting us by them not telling us not realizing they're actually protecting us by not telling us the whole story well let me ask you this when your dad lived at home and you know y'all were together as a family uh were was it pretty normal oh absolutely so no fighting in front of you no not until they were split litting up like I didn't really see him I mean maybe a little argument here and there but like my parents were always good about telling each other they loved each other making sure they told me they love me like I never question any of that did it come out of the blue absolutely yeah like it shocked you like like I remember vividly one day I was in the in the car my mom's about to take me to school and my dad came out and said I love you and he did not say it to my mom which was so unusual and I knew at that moment something's up how old were you then 12 and uh that's how old my remember yeah dude I remember I remember it vividly like I remember the Oldsmobile I was in but that weekend I went Buick old mobile oh Buck oh but bro uh I went bowling me and Patrick Morehead actually were at the bowling alley Patrick Morehead and we came back to his grandma's house after we went bowling and his mom came in there and said uh your mom wants to come get you your parents are W to have a conversation with you and I just remember I sat down on his grandma's couch and started crying cuz I knew what was coming I knew they were about to tell me they they were splitting up but you know you really can't relate to that unless you like for me I'm sitting there thinking about my 12-year-old and if I was uprooted out of that situation it would destroy him yeah like it would literally destroy him cuz we spend that kind of time together like he and I are pretty Inseparable when when you know we're together so that's crazy so it's trauma TR like gu got me feeling some type of way right now just talking about yeah well and and let's think at 12 you don't know how to navigate negative emotions yeah you don't bro and typically coming from a household that I did everybody's passive anyway we're not talking about cuz I feel the same way you know what I'm saying and so we ain't no nobody in a solution yeah right and so let me ask you this up until that point were you rebellious like was your behavior out of control or were you just pretty a normal kid that did what you supposed to do I think my mama would tell you I was in line like I made good grades I didn't do anything crazy but once that happened did something change there absolutely what's tell us about that so I mean you know it was just me and my mom after that and uh she's working one parent household so I had a lot of freedom and shout out to the single moms right now even though that ain't the design that God created for family to operate in cuz of sin man there's a lot of mamas out there that are doing the best they can with what they have and I'm going to be honest man like I don't want them problems yeah let my wife go on a a weekend uh Extravaganza and leave me with my son and I'm instantly thankful for for his mama so shout out to the single moms out there doing their thing man out and I mentioned it at church yesterday like it wasn't long after that that you know I was at my buddy's sneaking beers out the parents fridge and you know that's kind of where I did your dad ever drink in the household did you ever see him drink mom drink no no now whether my dad ever drank or not I I just was in front of you but I never saw it so and I honestly don't know that my mom's drank as long as I've been alive or yeah you know well did your schoolwork or trouble at school any that happened after this no so I really didn't have any trouble with school even after I got into drugs like I still graduated high school with honors even though I was skipping a bunch of classes and stuff like it didn't really affect me as far as my grades and stuff so you smart I mean without trying to brag on myself well I'm just saying like when I think about that a lot of times man like what people like like what people have to study hard for some people can just do yeah yeah well you know the other thing a lot of times is when people feel afraid they learn that if I study this it's going to bring protection for me yeah you know so or it's an Escape even yeah you know it's a coping mechanism yeah it's like perfectionism you know it's like someone who's lost protection and then they learn if I keep everything in order then my life is safer secure so they form you know these habits that are not necessarily bad but do you think we consciously know that no we don't do it definitely not no and so that's where it becomes so hard once we get on this side of the story to be able to take a look at things that have been woven in our subconscious that we do automatically with no thought it's survival it's survival yeah and a lot of kids that grow up in that type of environment that uh are one of their needs are not being met through what they see other it seems like other kids are getting at home they tend to go to this perfectionism or they tend to go to I'll outwork you cuz I know this will meet my needs he'll applaud me or this will put me on you know whatever the case may be it make me safe all right Chris so you drinking beer what now we all I always ask this do was it like Milwaukee's best no it was like Natty light Natty light you might as well been drinking water but I mean you know 13 14 you know should have went to the N was just the fact doing it yeah no doubt and I did later do you recall like do you recall when you drinking like this I got a buzz or it just not the first few times the first few times I just remember it tasted like crap and I was you know but the fact that I was doing it yeah cold beer yeah but obviously living with a mom you had some parental uh what was the word supervisions so you're not like drink cold beer at 12 and 13 every day no absolutely and it was few and far between at that point like it really got rolling once I got a driver's license but my mom kept me in church at all time so like on Sunday mornings Wednesday nights what church was that at that time at Coran CW Street really yeah shout out yeah CW I mean man they don't make him like that no more man he's a um Glory Glory he's a good one man he is a good one I love that D yeah he got saved he pre he got he got saved in this building yes he is wow he's told me that story yeah and uh he's a great he's a big supporter of our his church supports us monthly uh they just been good to us man man he's a pioneer of the faith man he he is really really loved us well all right so you get your driver's license man what's your first car so they called it the Smurf mobile it was a hunchback it no it was Smurf blue but it was a Chevy Cavalier and 89 sh okay I know exactly what that looks like yeah I don't bro I'm not that oh let me look real it was real little you said Cleveland cavali I mean it was a it was a four-door but yeah yeah but you was excited about it right oh D couldn't tell me a thing bro bro I'm telling you it's a tight car I mean I don't know about a tight car but it was at the time for me to be 15 years old I definitely wasn't complaining so tell us what happens when you start to get this kind of Freedom cuz ultimately let me see that thing like a yes sir let me see oh that ain't it that's a Mustang right that's a Chevy Cavalier that's a z that's a convertible right there yeah mine was definitely only way he had a convertible is he got a freaking saw and cut off the roof there you go oh yeah let me see that that's the one yeah yes sir yes sir let's go Ain no doubt he's slouching down in the seat when he pulls up to the red light you see somebody he knows think I was laid back in the seat anyway I love itak acting like you got switches well and let's be honest bro like in our world you get license at at a certain age because most people say 18 is the age of maturity we know that ain't the truth we know that you could be a boy to the day you lay in the no doubt about that right and so let's be honest dude if you got driver's license based on maturity how many people wouldn't have driver's license right Le yeah well I'm just saying bro like you give you give my 15-year-old driver license and immature pin up emotion insecure wanting to fit in and like he about to use this car for all the wrong reasons I'm just thinking of 16 with freedom and 2,000 lbs of metal under me you know it's just like well you think about your friends that didn't make it out of high school man cuz they got killed in a car wreck yeah you know what I'm saying and they they probably never should have had that type of Liberty it's true um but let's talk about that so you get this car um it's Pontiac Sunbird right a't that what we said oh Chevy Cavalier my bad I thought you that thing was rocking with 129 horsepower yeah turn up horses son yes sir without the AC on yeah wi is down two ler two leer 12 all I know is it got me where I was going well tell me where did it get you so once got a driver's license I had a couple older friends that had apartments and on the weekends I would be over there you know drinking by that time Natty lights he got the Natty Ice that time I he didn't went up to the Natty Ice I had graduated to some liquor by oh that Zim vodka you liquor yeah some vodka some whiskey yeah Zim call vodka noing off plastic bottle vodka bro you couldn't afford no SM I'm telling you I was hustling by the time I was 16 like what you hustling selling pot absolutely bro we P what you talking about absolutely I mean it's half seeds and stems but listen bro it come in Brick but it'll fool you bro you you get that thing and hit it one time and when them two top layers fall off seeds everywhere bro absolutely you got to scrape them up they way too oh you definitely got to put them on there absolutely yes they so your selling pot you know you're drinking some cold beer on the weekends um and they ain't no trouble are they not at all having fun loving it oh my God every minute of it just hanging out with these chicks you know I I think this is what gets us yeah is when our behavior is clearly destructive but there ain't no consequences none at all yeah I mean I'm still doing good in school my mom don't really know what's going on so she's not really qu questioning anything well here's the thing that's common I think for all four and tell me if I'm wrong that even though we grew up in our life situations that were dysfunctional we ain't never want like some people wanted yeah true we've gotten a lot of what we've ever wanted in life you know so a lot of times I didn't experience consequences cuz I could manipulate my dad to get me out of them yeah you remember Mr Hubbert it was the vice uh vice principal at Riverside at Riverside yeah I like SK up class one day and I made my dad believe that I didn't really do it and Miss Schultz the Drama teacher wrote me up got ISF that joker came up there and cussed out Mr hubber got me out of ISS that's the kind of stuff I'm talking about like there L my kid didn't do any wrong oh at all and so like how my dad's trying to be well-meaning but let's be honest dude the longer it took me to experience consequences the longer I felt like this ain't that bad of idea yeah yeah you know like I'm going back home I got a roof over my head I'm eating good like I'm you know doing somewhat normal things but like when I'm out doing my thing like man this is this is great yeah so where' that change for you like when it turned from all fun to some problems so cocaine iner absolutely absolutely so are you telling me that your greatest uh you're you what is uh Theo say his greatest weed he said he said he he said old Budd said hey Theo what's your uh what's your what he said what weed do you like the most or something like that and he said dude my favorite weed is cocaine dude he's hilarious yeah dude but uh I I Remember by the time I was 16 my mom had gotten remarried and uh Joe had bought a house for me and and his two stepsons to live in with him and my mom M and I had started taking Xanax by then and I remember coming home one night I was leaving my buddy's house I W i' had taken so many Xanax and drank so much that they had taken me back to my buddy's house his parents were gone they put me in the floor with a blanket and a pillow and they took off and went partying again well I woke up in the middle of the night wondering where everybody's at and I get in my car and I go home well he had a long driveway with trees down both sides sides and I'm clipping trees left and right but I didn't realize it so I pull up at my mom's house made it home by the grace of God um I left my driver's side door wide open when I came in and the way the house was designed I had a door into my bedroom from the garage or from the carport that's which was a problem that's legit looking back that was a problem like but I I came in I literally walked through that door and passed out face first with my boots and everything on my mom is standing over me the next morning I got one of these little bubble gum tubs like a Super Bubble tub she's holding it right here and there's like a quarter pound of weed some acid folded up in in 10 foil and a bunch of Xanax and baggies and remember the old hanging scales we had to use hand SC you bit them you can get them for a couple grams preach and get them Ziplock bags that's got the freaking hard zip they don't know them ways about one more that's what I'm talking about yeah so my mom's standing over me with this bubble gum tub and she's like you got some explaining to do there's one mirror side side mirror off my car one's hanging off and the door was wide open and I'm passed out face down with my clothes and shoes on and she's got all this drugs and I just remember looking up at her saying I'm going to need to get that back and that's kind of when she knew there were some problems she gave them back though didn't she absolutely yeah yeah well I mean she ain't going to let her baby get in trouble with the drugs deal look that was the thing like Mom you don't know who I'm going to be dealing with you know I had I had plenty of lives for sure um manipulation so wait so drug addicts lie to their parents and the people that love them to keep the addiction going from an early age well and it's important that these same family m know when they create this monster that when they bring them to our rehab and then get mad at us when we try to correct the years of lies that they believed to just let us help your kid man and what they don't realize is it would have been much better for them to if it was even true to deal with the drug dealer yeah oh yeah no doubt to have to deal with the drugs yeah no doubt bro 100% yeah and looking back on it like I my mom should have handled it differently I get that but I know she just didn't want me to see her as my enemy well and it's also they don't know they don't know bro like that's like like we let my son show up with a bubblegum wrap of a quarter pound of we we going to the police station well you know you know what I'm saying I'm I'm about to but you know how to deal with this just think about the people we grew up with our family ignorant yeah well I was talking to my mom the other day because there was this lady who was upset with me because I was advising her grand son that he needed to stay away from the family who's using drugs and alcohol yeah and that he needed to instead get around other people because he has the addiction himself yeah and the grandmother was mad at me for saying it and I said well mom she don't need you don't need to listen anything she's got to say CU she don't know anything about what she's talking about and she's probably one of the reasons the grandson's in that position oh there's no doubt and my mom my mom said well people could say the same thing about me and you back then and I said that's not true because you didn't know what to do yeah we know now yeah it's different when you're making decisions and no one's there to coach you and guide you versus when you got people to coach you and guide you and you refuse to take the suggestions well there's a difference between a trick and open rebellion and look man God ain't letting our life go down on a trick yeah but I can tell you now that you got way more access to good information concerning addiction like parents it's time to start believing that these people know what they're talking about and let them help you you know I'm saying and be thankful for the access to that kind of information because as I look back on my mom and dad like they may have shaved off years of the pain that their marriage uh toted with dealing with me had they had access to what we do today yeah and they didn't they didn't bro they didn't they didn't know where to go so the thing is you're only judged based upon the amount of light you have light is information so like if we're operating in ignorance Paul even says it he says in ignorance I did this but God's grace came through for him cuz he was doing it in ignorance totally different killing Christians in ignorance totally it thought he was doing it for God totally different when you don't know what you're doing is wrong versus when you do and you refuse to take it because of how it makes you feel that just made me just feel some type of way as I considered putting my feet in my Dad's shoes of when I'm punching holes in his wall stealing he's having to put dressers against his door because he thinks I'm going to kill him with no access to help yeah yeah bro I just consider how much of a responsibility we have to the parents as we do the drug addicts and I found over the years that I've helped more parents I think sometimes than addicts because if you can get the parents to get into recovery yeah while the attic is not even ready you might can get the attic to a place to be receptive well yeah addiction is a family disease yes it is it's a family disease bro this hey this is good right here this that 59.95 stuff yeah so so she gives you the the drugs back then what yeah and then eventually you know I kept doing my thing like that was I had not been on the Xanax very long but I loved them yeah I I knew immediately the first night I took him like this is the move but a it crazy how took me out of me but ain't it crazy how you wake up you really can't remember oh absolutely like you be trying and the people would be telling me what I did the night before and I'd just be like oh well I mean sounds like a good time that's the greatest sounds like a good time greatest teleport machine and it's amazing how many you can take when you take them all the time yeah oh yeah but think you take a handful of zenx and cold beer that's the greatest teleport machine you'll end up at a place you don't even know how you got there quickly yeah when I finally quit taking Xanax this is up into my 30s I owned a furniture store at a time and I was doing cocaine to level back back out but I would drink tall boys and eat bars and I got to where I was eating eight or 10 bars a day and I just when I get down I'd pull out the cocaine and level back out what was the name of this uh Furniture Store wood you it's like the one here why did I have this ass two woodw workers on this couch would you bro I mean oh no coincidence there yeah oh dang this guy this guy he has to take it there was that at the jocky lot no it was in Greenville we were on Woodruff Road [Music] Woodruff would you on wood d Road let's go what was that store beside that what was the store that was beside your store would you no it's who replaced it oh yeah what's that it's a Adam and Eve they sell dildos there oh oh is that oh so is that over there near the Starbucks there's a Starbucks beside that ad shop and you go up under that big trying to act like he don't know where the shop is I like thato I ran around I I ran a route up there cuzin I stopped at that Starbucks and my wife think there's a Starbucks Walmart is that Pine Street I don't know about Pine Street CJ you not know much about sparber is this sparber Oren Greenville Greenville I'm in the wrong area but I think there is a Starbucks but it's woodro on probably a couple Starbucks but yeah wood Road would you was you did you started this thing no so I it was a franchise I worked for him here the one across from Texas Roadhouse in Anderson oh okay I worked for him when I was going to Tri County Tech I see and then I graduated from Tri County with a computer technology degree was planning on going into programming and he asked me to run the store in Greenville because he owned Anderson and Greenville well I said well he asked me to work over there well I ended up telling him if you'll make me the manager I'll would go over there and work and I worked there as a manager and went to school at night at Southern Westland did he know you was a drug addict uh he knew I had been in some trouble because I had already been arrested a few times for drug rated charges absolutely yeah uh DUI uh couple felony possessions yeah but you know nothing ever stuck I got PTI I got my way out of it as always like you know just College you you and but you what you so you go to so what you studying at Southern Westland business administration is that where you got your degree from TR County and Southern Westland really yeah swoo yeah I looked at that to go to Bible college but I never went so once I graduated from Southern Wesley and the guy had sold the store in Greenville to another guy and he he let me continue running it for him because he was in Asheville and then once I graduated he ended up selling me the store so I was the owner there and man that I take advantage of that tell me about that tell me about that story that you mentioned to me one time about you passing out in your store oh yeah this is when I came off the Xanax like I I realized the Xanax were a problem cuz I you know I'm coming to work late I instead of being in there selling furniture like I'm letting the guys run the store I'm down at the bar at the end of the strip mall the house divided yeah I'm down there drinking beer like I'm not you know making this business operate as efficiently as it should Ain't No Doubt so uh I decided I was going to try to quit taking the Xanax well we're unloading the truck out back one Friday morning and my buddy Ben had I'd gotten gotten him a job with the finance company that did our financing and he came over on lunch on Friday we just got done unloading the truck it's August I'm pouring sweat it's almost 100 degrees I came in and I was helping a customer and I remember Ben come in and uh he gave me a head on and I was like what's up buddy and he said when my head went up it turned to the side and I fell over in the floor and he caught me as I fell and said that I started convulsing and turning blue and foaming at the mouth and I just remember waking up later they had me in the stock room on laying down on a piece of furniture like this and I remember sitting up and all the guys that work for me and my buddy Ben are standing around and I was like what the hell are y'all doing why is nobody working like we got a truck in this morning and they're like bro you just had a seizure like we thought you were dying and I went back out and I leaned back up and I'm like what the hell are y'all doing like we just got to and I did that about four or five times cuz you know when you have a seizure it kind of throws you off and and you shortterm memory loss so I did not but they had an ambulance on the way and they ended up taking me to the hospital and uh you know they put me on something I don't remember what the medication was called but it was like a milder version of anx or something like that but that was the W so the seizure came from the withdraw from the because I tried to quit the benzo cold turkey yeah that's why you don't cold turkey benzo or alcohol really alcohol yeah it'll kill you man yeah imagine being by yourself at that situation happens or driving or driving yeah well so the next time it happened I was supposed to be driving with a trailer on the back of my Jeep bringing furniture back to Anderson and my buddies called in Greenville asking for a ride they wanted to go downtown so I stopped by their house I remember Clemson footballs on and I just got a beer out of their fridge and started drinking it and I wake up my wife is there my parents are on the way to get my car like the same thing I kept waking back up not knowing what had happened fortunately they called and asked for a ride that day or I'd have been on 85 pulling the trailer so man you I mean at this juncture of your story man I think you're probably a full-blown oh without a doubt drug addict how old are you at this time oh and that at that moment I was probably in my early 30s okay yeah how old are you now no no I'm probably in my late 20s so you had been using for a good 10 15 years by this point oh yeah 10 10 12 Years cuz I was probably 27 28 Goa so at this juncture you got to admit that there's sometimes you're starting to realize man I probably shouldn't do this I probably shouldn't be taking these pills I probably shouldn't be drinking I mean it probably crossed my mind a few times but that was a fleeting thought like that was well I think when you start getting the DUI you start having seizures this is where some problems start to creep in to show you that this isn't what it used to be this has progressed to something a lot bigger than it was previously yeah but I I still didn't enjoy the idea of not doing it that was not an option absolutely Your solution to your problem I it so let's fast forward to where it goes from fun then fun with some problems and now let's talk about about where it just becomes problems and you want to stop but you can't okay so after I sold the furniture store back to the guy because the business isn't doing good you know we had the housing uh crisis in 08 and you know I'm half ass running the place so I'm just not making the kind of money I should be making and I'm paying my guys but I'm not getting a paycheck now I did side work staining the furniture that we sold that I made plenty of money doing that um but I had I had decided I was going to sell the business back you're married with kids at this juncture yeah I'm married with one kid with one kid this Jack yet but chy had already been born and you know moving all this furniture I had decided that I had hurt my back and I needed to go see a doctor oh yeah does that sound familiar you know I I got a legit [ __ ] like I own a furniture store doc like I'm mooving furniture all day I need some kind of pain pill yeah that will also give me energy yeah yeah so I go get put on L tabs uh after a few months she's like okay I think you've done well on this I think we need to take you off I said okay I'll find a new doctor so I find a pain management doctor and get put on oxycodone and the first time I go he puts me on 15s like 90 15s very first time Roxy yeah green ones yeah jackpot next you know I didn't even wait a month yeah from L tab so I didn't even wait a month to go back tell him that they're not working gradates me to 120 and 1230s bl I go back the following month and I'm on 1830s the third time the third time I saw this doctor oh man he was my favorite person on Earth at the moment you know them things on stre going for a dollar a milligram kicks Absol dollar a milligram bro but here's the thing is like I'm getting 180 roxy 30s and it got to a point after a few months that those wouldn't even last me a week like I'm just snorting the hell out of them just chopping three up on this nostril and three up on this nostril and doing that probably four or five times a day yeah and you know man like that I mean that that's where heroin addiction comes in for sure especially if a doctor Cuts you off or so many stories like that you can't get them this is where you start going to the street getting heroed cut with fit and all people dying yeah so so that is what happened so I would take I would buy other people's scripts that I'd go to that doctor with like I met people in the waiting room I'd buy their prescription but you know on that off occasion where I didn't have pills I would try to find something to supplement so I had a buddy come by the house one day and he's rolling a meth bowl and he'd been coming by for weeks doing it and I'm always like n that that's not my thing not doing that well catch me on the morning where I don't have any roxies and I'm feeling like crap let me see what that's about yeah and I did that well few weeks later I go back to the doctor and they drug test me and they found the meth in your system so I thought I wasn't get drug tested because I had had one the previous months but then they didn't always do it well they hit me again and I fell from meth and they kicked me out of the doctor's office so and everybody had been warning me the amount of roxies I had been doing they're like bro you going to end up doing heroin and you should and some of them recommended it like it's cheaper and I'm like no I'm not a heroin atdi like I I don't do that like I'm better than that I smort roxies dude I would never I go to work every day bro like I'm not a heroin who are you gradu from Southern westle bro yeah I mean I got a wood furniture store bro but that's the de by this point I had that's real right there true cuz there's so many people that won't get over cuz you just snort cocaine and they smoke crap but dude by by this point I I'd been doing Banking and working at State Farm I don't remember which I was at when I started doing the heroin but I remember talking to one of my homeboys from Pendleton and I rode to Sandy Springs and he had some fent on and I remember he told you it was F long yeah he said you ain't never had nothing like this like he did he did and he told me to make sure I didn't do very much and I'm like bro you don't know how many roxies I do but I remember doing it and immediately leaving and driving back to Anderson and I remember getting to old Denver old Denver School Road in Centerville and I'm at that stop sign and I'm thinking I got about two miles to get home and I don't know if I'm gonna make it like like I'm nodding out at the freaking stop sign but I'm thinking why have I not been doing this the entire time like this is a move it's so much cheaper they were right they were right yeah and I'm like I just graduated to doing heroin and fentol like this is this is what I'm about to be doing like I knew like this is the move like I don't feel any kind of the red the Revelation yeah like this is a move like this just solved all my problems well you know this is where your and CJ story is very identical cuz y'all both did fentol I don't know that I ever did fentol I didn't me I think what you said though was is very informative and this is why we tell people that drugs are not the problem they're the solution yeah is because you just said this just solved all my problems it took everything I feel away well and let's be honest bro like it's like anything else you do it long enough your tolerance gets higher and you eventually grad uate to heroin you eventually graduate to fit and all because it's the only thing that will solve your problems oh yeah like dude there's nobody like look dude when I was taking Lord Tas I'm taking 15 tens at one time just not to be sick but I'm getting to the point where I feel like somebody's got a knife in my stomach and I'm so constipated that I can't you know what I'm saying like I'm eating 20 vegetable laxes just to pass gas you know and so when you get these 15s and I take one 15 and it lasts all day M yeah you know what I'm saying like you graduating cuz to a different oh it's a different game but your tolerance level gets higher so you got to take more but then you start doing the 30s and then you start doing more 30s and then you start doing and then you eventually get to doing heroin and I had been told over and over and over again you're going to end up doing heroin and I every time and I would have passed a li detector test because I was not like it was just not an option well let me ask you this is it true that that they're selling pressed pills that look like roxy 30s absolutely they look almost identical and there's people that are buying these pills thinking they're roxy 30s but they could be 600 milligrams of fent is that true well I mean I don't know it's that much fentol cuz sometimes you you have a hard time getting one that has a good amount of fentol in it just make powder but yeah that's the that's the problem cut because they're cutting the F off and you don't know how much and they not working in a lab either they're just doing it at home well let's be honest they don't know how much spent all they're putting in there let's be honest it wasn't in a lab well let's be honest like growing up my daddy had access to roxy 30s I knew what a pharmaceutical roxy3 looked like but these cats on the streets that are buying pills are not very familiar with the pharmaceutical 30 well you know the other thing is now they want the Press pills M oh yeah absolutely they don't want the real ones they want the Press let's just be honest some of these teenagers though that isn't well trained in the game oh yeah that are going like you did when you was 16 just to have fun are now grabbing these pills and they're getting buried because they don't have any tolerance for opioids and they're going to just have fun pop this perk 10 and it be fentol yeah well and now they make Xanax that look that have fentol that look like Xanax yeah but they just G I've seen them things them things don't look like no Xanax they are little bit but you can tell they deformed like a deformed mod so like they got wet or something that's what yeah yeah they're powdery they don't have that how old were you when you started with the heroin um let's see probably early 30s mid-30s so you about 15 years in oh yeah before you hit maybe a little better than 15 years 15 18 years in and let's be honest man up until this point he's pretty successful yeah oh yeah with business with money with relationships marriage everybody from the outside looking in probably thinks he's got it all together yeah well at this point my my family has split up like we've already had our second kid and uh my wife is gone she's done yeah she's done you just you know manipulation was it money well no it was uh the drugs and the fact that I had a girlfriend on the side for several years so you were able to keep there something in that ain't new you just saying that that's that's been talked about and amended yeah to the best of your ability yeah so you so you were able because I mean a lot of times people have successful jobs they're married but they're not able to keep the money flowing in so there's the pressure there that the wife sees like was was there a money pressure too or was the money still okay yeah the money was okay cuz I was still going to work at this before we SP she good money made good money too and plus I had that little side hustle of doing furniture on the side that I still continue doing so what led it down would working so so we so so let's talk about where even in the midst of success as the world said success let's talk about where this thing really just brought you to a place of being cut broken in half to the point where you're willing to say man I got a problem I need some help okay so after I didn't have the pills at day and I started smoking meth like that meth became an everyday drug just like the fentol did um you know I I I enjoyed it and you know it would kind of keep me awake instead of having me knotted out like I'd still be able to enjoy the effects of the fentol and still be awake and able to run and do stuff and it also gave me a courage to go in and steal stuff from places and I got to where I wouldn't go show up to work because I wanted to go to the store and just steal stuff just for the fun of it like I got addicted to doing that too like y'all ain't going to believe what I got out of Bel today a going to believe what I took from Academy today but did you ever sell a whole deodorant case like I I think oh boy got got you on that one yeah I didn't ever you never sold deodorant to the cartel he still got that shout out deodorant trafficker hey did you ever send him that picture I didn't I need to bro they done figured him out bro he done he messed it up for all the other criminals selling deodorant no I like the steal clothing and electronics you know as much as I hate I appreciate some of those Master's hats you gave me after the fact you got sober but he you know then got him a whole bag from the Masters brought him back got saved got sober and he was like Bradley I don't got nothing let I was like won't God do it bro won't he do it bro the wealth of the wicked laid up for the rightous oh no doubt I mean I'll be honest you probably see a bunch of these guys around here walking around in clothes that I stole cuz I had racks and racks and totes and totes because I did it every day like I've walked out of belt with 50 Under Armour shirts one day at one time like I just had tons of it bro after he graduated he was like see I got some clothes man some nice stuff D like he was like golf shirts and I was like where he was like at my mama's house in the building in the back or whatever and I was like all right but he was like you want to ride over there see if anything you want bro this it looks like a dag um it looks like a merchandise store in there and I've got rid tons of it and there's still a lot of I said yeah like that one I like that that one's nice that one's nice so you know man I think really the way the Lord's leading us today is that I think that the viewers are going to have to tune in next week to hear to hear the rest of the story because I mean at this point you're spiraling out of control absolutely like I'm starting to go to jail on a regular basis yeah no doubt like yeah it's becoming serious problems and so man it's funny man how God works but you know if you're going to hear exactly this intervention from Heaven to Earth in Chris's life and sort of where he's at now and how he got there you're just going to have to tune in next week for the second part of his testimony yeah uh again Chris man we we can't thank you enough for coming through and and giving your time to uh us and sharing I mean with vulner ability um your past as if it's an asset in God's hands to potentially avert death and misery to The Listener so we thank you for your vulnerability and humility and sharing this and we look forward to continue to takeing this journey but until next time peace yeah peace yeah [Music] he

Channel: Sober: The Podcast

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Id: _EaltxbWywY

Length: 46min 2sec (2762 seconds)

Published: Thu Mar 07 2024