[Music] [Music] the [Music] la [Music] la [Music] [Music] now remember just tap the glass gently then reverse I've driven cars before Sydney yeah and smashed them too thank you [Music] what went wrong he gone too far you things are all right get him out oh tee get me out of here don't stand there do something ah kill him finish what's that Bell it's the alarm let's go back just tap the glass gently then reverse I said so what does he do he tried to knock the old building down first he thought that would be the quickest way to get in look at your pictures our boss our boss he calls himself what has he got tell me what has he got who is well he's very refined isn't he yeah and he speaks nice and all you know what he's a Twi twit you're flattering him him and these big Ideas operations hm operations what's your next disaster on his list the shortage Christian Girls Club funny I used to belong to it till I found out I was doing my strip teas you better go back to this strip kid because you're going to lose your shirt with this crot look [Music] out hi fellas don't get [Music] up [Music] regrettable about that little Contra temp Contra temp what's a fiasco then when we all get pinched what do you think you were driving a tank the brakes fail liar who's calling me a liar he was and he meant it [Music] be careful Sid or I may have to teach you a sharp lesson what in driving what about some Lolly well we we fa fail this time but don't worry about the Lolly never stop worrying about it ever since I met you three cars you've wrecked in a month three four yeah four well what are you worrying about they didn't cost you anything you stole them all I don't steal cars just for you to wreck I got my living to wor me and all I think I better go back to my wrestling why you never want to fight cuz they used to pay me more to lose fights that's why all right all right desert me desert me I can find others to help me pick up £10,000 10,000 pound how much is that yeah fingers 10,000 from the Christian girls of shortage we only got 18 T last time we ran we're not doing shortage we're going to crack one of the fullest safes in London the bank of England no Mr Billy Gordon's who's Billy Gordon who's Billy Gordon why don't you learn to read I don't know I can never get the Ang of it anyway what's reading got to do yeah all right shut up go on everybody knows Billy Gordon he's a man who doesn't like Banks and people who don't like Banks keep a lot of ready cash in the safe and Billy Gordon's safe is the one we're going to bust calberg did the bast off me just before he did the princess do you like it yes but don't you look rather worried I was I was worried how much he was going to charge me you know I wanted to put a cigar in the mouth he wouldn't stand for that tell me anyone live it on your bust no pretty talking about bus I mean talking about journalist you seem to be rather young and pretty to be a news H well mother's own journal prefers younger women so do I tell me what can I do for you well we're running a series called success it's about people who made a fortune out of nothing well I said they started with nothing 500 smackers was loan by your wife wasn't it huh yeah yeah Splendid woman my wife got a glorious daughter is that a photograph of your wife no no my daughter pretty eh oh Charming one of The Last of The Debs managed to slip around to the wire just before they close the entres very proud of huh you were married in the war weren't you yeah sergeant major you were sergeant major no I wasn't my wife was honest pity instructress strong as rock never forget the first time I saw her she was taking class in alarm combat she took one look at me and the next thing I knew I was being thrust up the aisle up the what up the aisle dear oh she's changed now quite as a m so you were in the Army what reserved occupation me used to collect swill from Army Camps swill yeah what was Will used for D if I know hate to think hell of a market in it your wife's here she doesn't want to disturb you but uh Disturb show it in please come in Mrs Gordon thank you Miss uh oh Lucy my love what a nice surprise I didn't want to bother you but in your Rush this morning you forgot my housekeeping money and I want I'm so sorry and well by the way this is Miss um of the the mother's own thing you know my wife hello how' you do I'm so sorry to disturb you you didn't I've just been telling her all about you my little piggy bag nice little man box cost me a fortune still it's moth proof well there you are my dear you're so again thank you but Billy I only wanted 10 there must be about 100 here oh really never could count get along with you sh me a minute oh goodbye miss uh Miss uh goodbye Mrs Gordon goodbye was 10 you wanted wasn't it huh oh I thought Lucy Lucy we had to put on a show for Miss thing but the income tax swine are handing me and I can't afford to throw away handles on nothing can I well can I no good we' got to be very careful for the moment when our ship comes in the Old Country House The Cook the battler t t oh B BL get in touch with Rogers and put 100 no night on Peruvian Wonder to win better look sleepy otherwise you miss the off oh there's a gentleman there to see you with the samples right we'll tell him to wait and I'll get rid of this Miss uh Miss chilik chilik you're kidding I'm sorry my dear I'm afraid we'll have to go I got a cloud waiting oh I'm so sorry so am I I said we meet after off his eyes wouldn't that be too much for you you know know me I'll see how things are going then phone you at the office yes yes please good you're French no I am Finnish why do you speak French Finnish is too difficult please you're right I remember I had a finish girl once she was very difficult well glad to see you got valid D with no strings attached M very useful that finish how many 2,500 when next week how much £50,000 five 40 15 35 20 30 25 done just a minute I hope they work why why well cu the last Consignment your boss sent me of rifles didn't work I had complaint surely are joking but I do not understand complaints from whom there were one or two survivors you know there's a sucker born every minute but you carry on like that and there won't be enough left to go around you bring anything to put the money in no right 25,000 three quid for the case two don't be mean it's the best quality plastic last your lifetime oh sorry right now these are in thousands 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 have to get my own window cleaner can't have everybody peeling in like that they're after me you know the police no no income tax they've got the spies everywhere you no idea what theyd stoop to now is Right 14 12 s man 13 12 son je I'm a left-handed counter 13 14 by the way what's the supply situation on guided missiles 15 16 17 [Music] 18 this [Music] way hey look the safe it's open so it is you CL it was an accident so are you now I have to crack it give me some [Music] light lights St is that better don't don't move I've got you covered why is it a space gun then hey oh one move and I'll shoot you to king um um come uh there are four of them all Mast one's got a blander bass needs a haircut how dare you that's his voice you can probably hear him now there's a stringy youth one who looks as there was an all-in wrestler how did you guess that's what I am shut up I warn you I warn you Curly's getting jittery but I don't go fire hold your noise or you'll get it you bound to be able to hear him now recognize the voice ever broadcast before hey you're on Direct short wave to B Street police station new type of burglar alarm they will be on their way already you know what we're in it again shut up come on [Laughter] [Music] good well now we can have a little supper eh you were wonderful but why did you let them go well we didn't want to be disturbed by a lot of coppers did we they're coming anyway oh no they're not I made all that up on the spare of the moment not a bad idea eh just a minute I better get some of the stuff out of the safe in case somebody else is a crack at it Bottoms Up cheers Billy you didn't come home to dinner again sorry old girl I had to take a journalist D it's always the same making me economize while you go out having lavish dinners but Lucy this is business I've got to entertain besides it's all deductible from income tax it doesn't cost me a penny then couldn't you entertain me some sometimes times but that wouldn't be honest you know what you like about honesty Che up a girl W belong before your dream comes true a country house a cook a battler yeah am I forgive of course would you like me to give you a hand with no no thanks there just some papers to hide I mean put away Che up old girl W belong before our ship comes in uhhuh BL me haven't you had enough exercise for one day is it you me D you after 3 months to like balloons balloons peanuts you mean by fellas now don't get up don't don't get up please sit down look I know how you feel but this is the last of the Fiasco you said it I've had enough goodbye you're saying goodbye to £2,000 what's it this time the crown jewels the crown jewels bit risky ain't it Billy Gordon again but this time he private house he fingers what a fly boy like that doesn't keep cash around the house house is Mrs may lay her hands on it hey whisper I'm after something more precious than money my boy I never heard of anything more precious than money except dollars if any of you halfwits could read you'd know that Gordon has a daughter what about it well work it out for yourself Sydney she's the one thing in the world he loves more than money Billy look I I thought I told you I but Angela has wonderful news daddy meet Tommy Weston hello what on Earth are you doing huh uh smell gas looking for a leak Tommy and I are engaged what well why didn't you tell me before well we couldn't tell you before it happened before what happened before we were engaged sir can I help why are you a gas inspector no as a matter of fact I'm a tax inspector be good oh no I really am you're a [Music] TX you're a tax inspector I'm afraid so sir one of the snoops what yes well I'll join you downstairs I hope you approve sir later later did you hear that a tax inspector well he's out for start and they want to see him again B he's a a nice young man and she loves him don't be so ridiculous nobody loves a tax inspector is there Beyond The Pale it's a most honorable profession honorable are you kidding once for all I want have a man like that in the house he'd ruin any normal decent conversation worse than a a policeman or a customs officer but if she I mean what I say I'd rather entertain a thief at least they're honest about what they do we must case The Joint properly inside and out who sleeps where burglar alarms everything yeah where are you going to take the girl off to the snatch my old Aunt has a a little place in the country just outside town on the great North Road I'll send her to Blackpool for the week she'll like that who Gordon's daughter now his AR stupid your fingers what you're planning to kidnap that girl aren't you that's what I've been telling you for the last half hour you know what what that's dangerous that is what sending at a black pole that's what I think with anyone else it would be dangerous but not Gordon he hates the law almost as much as we do he's the one man in England who'll pay and pay big yeah and if something goes wrong which it will we'll get 10 years oh 20 we'll get 20 grand at least the small time is over fellas now for the big snatch the crime of the century goodbye dear bye girl sh me back to supper tonight but Billy I was going to try your Economist taking kidney pie you know the one without the kidneys you miss that you're lucky I should have to grab a sandwich the office Teta [Music] Teta yes good morning B is the mistress at home whatever I'm the mistress but we don't want any whatever it is it is from the public opinion poll of the national soap Foundation that I am who are after making a survey of the kind of salap powders mostly used by Housewives whatever no not today thank you most kind and look you back I have for you a free sample of a new powder we're marketing no charge to you whatever oh thank you my husband will be pleased oh isn't it rather has it got some cold dust in it or something oh bless you B that's a new black white now that is the black which washes whitest whatever whatever will they think of next yes whatever now how many of you are there in this dear we oh just my husband my daughter and I would you like a cup of tea oh how kind I had no breakfast whatever all right come on you know I never realized that Welshman really said what eff for quite so much I thought it was just on the music Halls oh no truth in that whatever you have no living in domestical no I have no help whatever oh dear now you've got me doing it actually I don't mind housework whoever can that be no idea whatever excuse me see yeah what I'm sure finger said to come at 10 not nine gas board inspection oh we wanted you you did well that's F yes my husband suspected a leak under his bedroom floorboard I'll show you come with me you coming oh oh this way please what a coincidence eh you expected us and here we are and it's much colder too I said 10 not nine that's what I said but he would argue with now if there's anything wrong it should be under this one my husband was sniffing around here and there'll be a cup of tea downstairs when you're done that h i could do with a cup of tea looks like the old man sleeps on pH what are you doing I'm having to look for the leap and what will you do if you find one give me that stop banging around and make a noise while I sneak around see if I can find out where the old lady in the daughter sleep whatever is that they're ending a leak causing one more likely oh what a Mourning excuse me sorry girl forgot my key and my briefcase hello what's the noise oh it's under the guest man having a look under your floorboard no whatever is going on oh it's only my husband your husband yes but he seems a little upset get out come on now get out we got a job to do we only come to now look look look when I want a gas man I'll SLE one now go on get up there's no way to treat gasman that's off good morning I represent no you don't [Music] SC right everybody out Sydney shh anybody think I was a beginner coffing ures it's crazy coughing is this mhing idea after all nobody looks at Earth is buried L exactly no one but a fool would think of using a hearse for a quick getaway now you're talking sense so no one don't think of stopping us right on [Music] [Applause] [Music] tiptoe [Music] [Applause] you rmic [Music] tension shroud you'll keep that Chlor form I wish you'd drink it and turn this lock up I hope everything's going to be on you B me whisper whisper come on what you stupid Baka there you go have a dog he's anesthetized himself why didn't you tell us I had a dog they didn't have they must have bought him yesterday supposing he woke somebody they may have come down wouldn't they mashing house dogs these it's hardly human the noise he's making I do wish he'd stop it I'll go tickle him [Music] then come [Music] on this one go [Music] on go [Music] [Applause] [Music] one uh manace [Music] [Music] manness [Music] [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Music] well Sydney you are now participating in the crime of the century this traffic light ah head I know Sydney and a [Music] red he's coming now what keep calm and look holy hey you better take a look back there shut it up you fools the foot the foot thank you officer what a Dreadful thing hey just a minute it's a bit early for a funeral isn't it uh yes indeed we're transporting him to Scotland oh he he he was a policeman like yourself him with that little foot I'd have sworn that was a woman ah yes well that just shows you what a lot of nonsense is talked about the size of copper policeman's feet thank you again officer well Sydney I handled that with the Master's touch Master's touch my foot her foot cheer up Sydney we're out of the wood it's no good we'll have to push well come on you two get out we'll need some your rhythmic tension whatever we're going to push why it's quicker is the break on of course well take it off you twerp stop it get out of push it [Music] see I don't mean it this quicker why did he use the engine shut up and push what go [Music] on stick it we're nearly there right hold it hold it hold it stop it stop it it's running wife stop come back stop stop get it get [Music] off Goodbye Mr Davis now don't worry cheer up everything's going to be all right you never know what's around the cor out thank you Vicor [Music] goodbye [Music] have have thank you very [Music] much [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Applause] [Music] oh [Music] no no no no car's at it what are we going to do walk all the way till we find a car get around the other side right up now put it on your shoulders [Music] properly why do you have to be so high right ready off [Music] go oh [Music] no what happened to you I've been so worried we ran into a spot of bother I thought you were coming by her we changed heres in Midstream treat her gently boy gently okay wish grab that chair turn it right gently gently is she all right cool she's all right well how can she breathe it's got all in the bottom well gentlemen I shall now produce the most valuable rabbit in history a tasty little blonde worth every penny of you bungling clut you went into the wrong room I told you the door on the right you never you say left right it right oh shut up can't you tell the difference between an old EG and a young girl of 17 but it it was dark she certainly looks older than 17 oh you mind your own business yeah now what well as I see we got the wrong woman yes and we we carry on as planned I mean she's his wife isn't she you'll still pay he might even pay more would you well there's no accounting for tastes he he's probably lost without her but she couldn't have walked out on me after the way you shouted last night I wouldn't blame her if she had it wasn't her it was you and that tax crook Lucy Lucy wait up old girl it's 9:00 Lucy Lucy come out she can't do hello Mr Gordon yes yes who is it here is Mr X Mr who Mr X but it does not matter who I am well if it doesn't matter to you it doesn't matter to me Charlie where could she be where do you think she is well she may have gone to Granny's I hope not why well aairs over 10 huh hello what do you want £25,000 Mr Gordon just a minute who are you what the hell are you talking about I am the head of the gank who kidnapped your wife last night I am talking of the ransom I am asking for her return I I presume you're joking this is no choke no choke you will not contact the police one false move and she will be cut up into little pieces and scattered up Z right North Road you will obey without question the following instructions [Music] good evening good evening to you I come from Mr how do you do how do you do we getting far oh I mustn't say about to find out oh no the Chau has been given instructions to drive around in circles actually [Music] yeah oh what's the matter so many Plumbing circles I lost me way Charlie what you mean by that tell you this Mr X he must be a very big fellow oh no it's not all that big oh I see what you mean oh yes he only handles big jobs oh sorry tell me why do you wear that Veil so that you'll never recognize me again that's very good very good take my advice next time wear a cape be careful of the steps better let me go down first I fell down you all right yeah come this way please yeah sit down don't against the back why not cuz there is no back Mr Gordon Good Die Mr X I am sorry I cannot introduce myself by name pra you be seated well I am AR [Applause] I just [Laughter] so relax Mr Gordon do not be afraid I'm not thank do not be too sure of it oh I'm quite certain do not be too sure you need not be afraid I mean I thought you told me not to be our man we we have never Crossed Swords before Mr Gordon but if we had just a minute aren't you the long-hair CHF who tried to rob my safe I recognize your voice no was he a are you say a foreigner no Cockney like you no Mr Gordon it was not I I never file you see you have heard perhaps of the Delvin Diamond robbery uhhuh the stetin killings the birthing trunk murus you your humble servant oh but the smell of that cigar you're not doing very well out of it what is it a Congo rat who's your accountant enough of this idle chitter you know my terms yes £25,000 or you cut my wife up into little pieces and Scatter her all up the great North Road precisely I take it you have brought the money no Splendid Splendid then we need only what did you say no n nine NS in fact not not a sausage cut her up oh boy this is a chance I've been waiting for for years you're bluffing well you you think I am well I'm not I hope you're not this is the answer to a bachelor's prayer you can't do this to me you to her she's a fine woman will you have her I don't want her will you took her old man don't blame me it's disgusting it's immoral we we cut her into pieces tiny little pieces well naturally you want to make a good job of it won't you well you really must excuse me I've got a date rather a promising one actually oh talking about that Mr X you got rather a nice little bit of X certificate here eh all right all right you win I like a fight Mr Gordon I'll take 10,000 not a penny less not a penny old fruit I told you all right all right 5,000 ,000 that's my final offer 5,000 always we slice no dice start slicing old fruit now really I must be going if you like I'll find my own we 4,000 and she's yours she's yours for nothing Sid snow drop take him away take him away take him away take him home I've only just brought him go on go on well our v a herx that swine has ruined my faith in human [Applause] [Music] nature [Laughter] [Music] all right any luck not like you know what he asked too much old fingers did his best he came down from 25,000 to four can't do fairer than that what'd he say then he said he didn't want her we could keep her but it was a chance of a lifetime where we could go ahead and cut her in pieces tiny little pieces it is hard to believe that such an unhuman devil could exist a beast in human garbage that's what he is go and see if she wants anything to eat here thinkers Squad she won't like this you know she expected him to pay yeah what about we going to do with her keep her as a pet well we just have to cut her up oh fingers what she heard every single word we said she refuses to eat she says she wants to die die no she can't do this to me he wait a minute shut up but I just for something no no no don't take on so we'll be liberalizing you soon I don't want to go I just want to die you may as well kill me now well I'm not going to what you take me for then I kill myself oh no no no no no you you mustn't do that that that's very selfish you must think of others yeah boss stay there and keep an eye on her yeah but listen do as you're told she mustn't be out of someone's sight until we set her free yeah but that's what I've been trying to tell you we can't set her free see you've been in there without your masks on and she's seen your faces he's right we might as well drop out a Scotland Yard the crime of the century well Einstein now what you Gordon will have to be made to pay that's who's going to make him I should have thought his conscience would make him conscience he wouldn't give a father into a starving beggar oh I don't know he's not yes thank you s yes I'll go and see him tomorrow thank you he's got another idea a marvelous Brain Hat points got yeah yeah you too do you think so better go in first it'll look better anything you say Mr Gordon what a secretary [Applause] Dar yeah Governor yeah you bxs your matches no thanks I got a lighter here here I've got a message from Mr X just a minute you are Mr X no no I would have recognized you except for the voice yeah he sends his last oper 200 quid and she's yours 200 quid well the bottom has fallen out of the market hasn't it what those you damaged in transit look I what I do I give you SCS you buy yourself a cup of tea H what the mess oh get out of it morning Char oh well never mind Daddy darling what are you doing here I want to see you you didn't come home last night no no I I I spent the night in a Turkish bath was it mixed bathing you still have some lipstick on your ear well a pain I must know what's going on where's mother look we can't discuss it here don't worry she'll be back in a couple of days Charlie you know Charlie Charlie is that a racing addition sir I give you a tip my tips have been coming out these days what is it strer and the 230 Italian very strong very fast what's the price it's a lest Edition is Sir [Music] you sp my wife sorry now then M what's going on he attacked me or charge you with assault offic to mistake come on that of come [Music] on smells marvelous do it lovely yeah is that all perhaps you like the old Goose do you mind his eyes are bigger than his got enough to for two as it is when I was in training I used to eat four times as much hello well good you're just in time for lunch hi fellas don't get up hey fingers how'd you get on I'm made three in a t c that's not bad how long was she staying in there with G on your TWP hello what she doing here put that knife down I'll sit down well she she she can't eat with us she's a prisoner we can keep an eye on her this one she's also served us a very good lunch just leave her alone thank you and glad somebody has some manners well what happened this morning as if we couldn't guess she's not going to like this but her Billy is making highy with the secretary she have seen him this morning kissing her in the car she's wearing a mink Stone great big sparkler on her finger yeah we never mind about that whatd he say to your offer what do you think he said he's having the time of his life I know it you asked too much too much £200 £200 he laughed in my face and gave me threns your fingers no floppin I mean floens no I call it downright insulting to offer it a knockdown price like that so do I it has nothing to do with you hasn't it it's me you're selling isn't it yes and I shall sell you for any price I like oh no you won't just listen to me you little squirt oh nobody calls me a little squirt and gets away with it steady fingers she didn't mean it yes I did oh I see I'll have to teach you a little lesson wait Co what a beauty where did you learn that the Army and anyone else want to teach me a lesson I was only going to ask you to show me how you did it I just did no do come here help me put him to bed oh what a beauty classic that's what it was yes yes go on whisper go the door on me own yes you Hercules I'll warn you m I'll never miss how could he oh how could he I could kill him for this kill him he'll kill you anyway I wasn't thinking of that squirt all right want to simmer down on one condition I'm prepared to release you now why why cuz the rest of us don't want to face a murder rap that's why even Superman and a might commit murder after what you've just done oh him look you give me your word of Honor not to split the cops and you can go go where home that's right home to a man who told you to kill me who wouldn't even give £200 to get me back what sort of a home is that now come on we got to be quick if we're going to release you if you release me I won't you I shall go straight to the police no I'm going to stay here don't be stupid now you got to Jud I was stupid I've slaved even starved for him because I loved him and I thought he loved me and this is my reward well now I have a chance to get my own back and by heaven I'm going to take it you want Billy Gordon's money don't you yeah so do I the only difference between us is that I know how to get it and you don't you interested are you interested do you mean you want to come in with us oh no you come in with me I lend him £500 to start his fortune so I reckon I'm entitled to half of everything he has don't you what exactly are you getting at we'll split 50/50 on everything I lead you to and I think I can lead you to a lot is it a deal well that's I see I think come on we start by going to my house that's where the first lot [Music] is if my guess is correct the money's under the floorboards here you're kidding want a bet we could have had out while we were playing at gasman yeah come on give me the [Music] Jimmy at the capit all the cast pitched all those tommy guns cost me 25,000 quid poor old Billy just a minute when I wanted every penny for that serle Sugar deal well you still got plenty left yeah but not enough you see I've got some hidden in the house I've got some in the safe but it still isn't that darling you wouldn't like clim your jewelry would you oh no but bar look here I've had to work hard enough to get it out of you work yes hard bar it would only be a tempor no I'm very disappointed in you no loyalty to the firm no loyalty at all where are you going I going to the office but you're going to take me out to dinner I can't afford it you can't afford it sorry must be 20 grand here at least a p there isn't more can you see his face when he comes here looking for the money and there it is gone yes I'm sorry to be missing that that's the lot I could kiss you for this yes I bet you could look at that come on we've got work to do thank you this should fix that two timer little lucy you Des sh your face never an unkind word never a dirty trick [Music] poor hello this Mr Gordon I mean yes Tommy Weston here Tommy Angela look look here so you better come right away your house is on fire what what I'm in the telephone box just opposite the house it looks pretty bad sir but we' called the Brigade look tell you what to do G to my bedroom look at oh no no don't why you have to be a tax man oh there you are this this your car yeah yeah yeah are you aware it's been parked on the wrong side of the roope with no lights I must insist wait get Oh Daddy Great Scott Wilson yes sir get in there and get him out yes sir is he mad I can't think what he's doing he knows there's no one there Daddy are you all right are you oh is he M listen get in there get him out and hold him this time he must be mad it off it off you quite sure there's no one else inside there m quite look he's up there now now look sir you're causing a great deal of stop him stop that Maniac Daddy For Heaven's Sake you hadn't heard the last of this I'm going to have you J Daddy what is it mommy mommy mommy mommy oh I wish I was dead too wish she got some smashing stuff here she did all right yes she did all right all right that must be worth a couple of thousand yes and this to the love of my life Billy Ser in right WI anybody there who's there really no it's my first hey barl barl guess what's happened now you want me to guess eh what well I don't want to guess you organize that you my what are you doing I never want to see you again ever St up what how did you develop your muscles I don't know they developed themselves how much did you we when you were born 18 o and I said I was a miracle they said I should never have been born but I was what your time then the big hand's on the three and the little 's on the 12 qu 12 you shortsighted no I'm worried they should have been back by now head your head boss where is she let me get it up where's my gun where's my knife I'll cut her in pieces I'll shoot her a bits where is she no way she'll be back rightstone drop I said where is she here they are now that's right Lucy you look beautiful where did you get them evening how's the Buns may I be permitted to know where you've been get in a few household needs didn't they close nice around oh it's a joke that's very kind of you I'm sure I'm so glad you approve boss wait till you see I'm not interested oh we'll keep you to that it's all in 500s one for Lucy one for us hands off this has nothing to do with you Lucy as Luc Mr Gordon Mr Wilkins here alleges that after the assault you said you swine you killed my wife I'll slit your throat is that true no that isn't true I didn't say that I said you swine you got a knife you slit my coat you said what your honor I I must took this old Bearer this uh this Old Gentleman here for a pickpocket who robbed me had you any reason to believe that either the beggar or Mr Wilkins had murdered your wife oh no none at all well then how then do you explain saying you killed my wife I I didn't say that Shana well then what did you say uh well I I said you ruined my wife you mean that Old Gentleman ruined your wife I've never looked at a woman for 40 years no no your honor I I didn't mean that I meant uh I meant life my life then say what you mean thank you very much Mr you see your h i was thank you WR condition I has down and I my client can only express a deep regret for the assault your worship but I trust this explanation will satisfy you that it was a genuine mistake under extreme provocation it doesn't Mr Gordon is obviously lying and obviously too he hit the wrong man anything known nothing known sir find 5s and keep out of trouble in thank you your honor but I'm right SL your Co you liar number 14 on your list Sir William Delany Gordon back [Music] again will Delan Gordon you're charged with using insulting Behavior whereby a breach of the peace may have been occasioned at Bladen Drive London on the night of May the 16th you plead guilty or not guilty not guilty absolutely not guilty well it was my file I'm surely entitled to what I I swear by Mighty God the evidence I gives you be the truth the old truth nothing about the truth James Smith police coun 166 S Division your worship at 9:00 p.m. on the 16th instar was giving assistance at a fire despite protest the accused d twice into the building not to be brought out when he attempted the third time I tackled him from behind and received him full in the stomach whereupon we struggled on the ground he was hysterical and said Mommy oh Mommy I wish I was dead too he addressed you as Mommy I don't know your worship I took him to the station where he was charged and cautioned and he said give me a rally rope and I'll L myself now no one in their right mind would address you as Mommy I put it to you that you misheard Mr Gordon's daughter asked him why he dashed Into the Fire he replied bunny she mishearing him exclaimed money and he said bunny no bunny I wish I was dead too no no no no wait wait wait your legit went money Mommy and Bunny oh bunny no sir no sir um bunny money and Bunny no bunny no mommy at all bunny money and Bunny oh bunny no sir no sir bunny no Bunny not o bunny oh bunny oh really does it matter very much your worship excuse me sir it was money mommy and mommy no bunny was mentioned in my earing Mr Gordon had a cold what what's that got to do with it oh with a cold in the nose money sounds like bunny I've lost a lot of bunny the truth is as my client will testify he mentioned neither money nor mommy but bunny his burier and I should like you to note your worship that my client's feathered friend was lost on that fateful night I should like to call Mr G where are we going I'm getting you out of there before they call you as a witness why well did you ever own a budger Gard called bunny no I thought so and what did you hear your father say at the fire yes he did say mommy exactly and by the way where is your mother oh Tommy I wish I knew all right don't worry about it that's what we're going to find out now when you arrive to find your home in Flames what was your first thought my parot bigar kindly don't answer your own questions but your honor uh AAR is a speci of parot now stop it when forcibly restrained from your rescue attempt what did you cry out I cried out the name of the bird Binky uh bons bunny oh bunny bunny really this is all highly improper as you very well know you must not prompt your own witness any questions no you worship I'm extremely sorry your honor but my one thought was to save the little perisher the the little bird from perishing in the face thank you thank you Mr gin thank you very much thank you um your worship I'm quite sure that you realize that this whole Affair this entire business is due to a misunderstanding yes quite so yeah I am persuaded that you were probably trying to rescue something much more valuable than a bird and that is money spelled c a cash find1 cash thank you your honor and believe me I Shan believe you Mr Gordon go away I've seen and heard quite enough of you for one day next case please well that's a Pity because come number 15 on your list Sir William delainy [Music] [Applause] [Music] [Laughter] [Music] Gordon William Delany Gordon you are charged with causing unnecessary obstruction with your car at Esther Street on May the 16th and further with assaulting police Constable clutter whilst in the execution of his dut you be guilty or not guilty not guilty I swear by almighty God that the evidence I give should be the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth [Laughter] Hey listen listen listen to this I was trying to rescue my buery girl a poor little budger girl I almost feel sorry for the fell yeah you must be wondering what it him nice to see you in such fine Spirits fellas yeah you're going to help me change that wheel snow Dr yeah I never saw no Bader car in that house I'll come mind what will I'll get out of it whisper looks like we struck it rich last eh yes yes yes yes you know what what I guess Lucy did his proud eh Lucy Lucy Lucy good morning what are you standing at where did you get that hair out of a bottle same as your girlfriend well you go and put it back again how am I going to send you home looking like the dog's dinner you're not I'm going to stay here oh yes I am you organized those raids last night so you can't threaten us no more if you know what's good for you do you remember what happened the last time you threatened me sunny boy what's the matter with you you got half the money I'm willing to set you free what more do you want I'll tell you I haven't finished with Billy Gordon yet did you read about that woman murdered on the great North Road yes disgusting it didn't give you an idea why should it it's got nothing to do with me no but Billy thinks it's me he reckons I'm dead and that you did it ah he's B me I wouldn't do a thing like that yeah I've just had a smashing idea if he thinks that we could blackmail him you're a genius yes I am am what a turnup it can't fail it can if it's left to you let me do the thinking and we may have some fun now the first thing you're going to do little old fontleroy is to have your haircut if you're going to carry out the plan that I have in mind I'm not going to have my haircut yes you are oh no daddy oh hell daddy where is mommy um she's gone away the truth is she's abroad I'm sorry sir we just can't accept that I think of a damn what you accept nothing to do with you that's where you're wrong sir now look why don't you stick to incest and keep your NOS out of my business I'm afraid it's too late for that now sir I married Angela yesterday what and I shall stick to income tax and keep my nose in your business I'm now the inspector in charge of your files hello Coan there's no Mr about this you now I you and I can just have a little chat H Mr Gordon yeah yes thank it off I hope you'll forgive us barging in like this but the outer door was open I'm inspector W Scotland Yard and this is Sergeant Sykes just a small routine matter sir do you mind if I speak in front of your friends look I'll see you later and explain everything and not to worry I we won't detain you very long sir detain me yeah I mean sir of course not of course not certain statements attributed to you of course some speculation as to the whereabouts of Mrs Gordon H Mrs Gordon oh Mrs G um well she left a few days ago after a quarrel ah then there is no question of her having disappeared eh oh rather not good honor no we're in daily contact on the telephone I see oh well there it is then gossip nasty thing that gossip all right syes I'll go on to Tottenham you go back to the yard and report that the Gordon fire is clear very good sir oh uh we're investigating that very very gruesome great North Road murder you know good day sir good day [Applause] you've forgotten something no sir I haven't forgotten something but you have haven't you sir is nothing wrong with your eye no sir they tell me it's pretty sharp why does it keep winking then a nod is as good as a wink to a blind horse a none what does that mean that's an old Latin quote and it means is this your old woman's nighty it was found by the body on the great North Road and the underworld gra Vine says that you instructed a gang to do her in that's a lie is it oh you told the inspector some Whoppers just now didn't you sir here supposing he wanted to meet your Mrs you'd have a bit of a job finding the bits wouldn't you sir how much do you want how much have you got prly nothing I'm ruined look oh nothing in the cupboard eh well we'll just have to make do just a minute I've got to live so have I Billy boy so have I we'll just have to make do with this I'll keep it you're disgrace to the force oh don't say that sir well tat our Billy boy oh keep smiling nod is as good as a wink to a blind [Music] horse extraordinary fellow what division was he do five division oh Mr I'm sorry to come barging in sir but the outer door was open I'm inspector Jensen from Scottland yard this is Sergeant smil this is just a small inquiry about your wife sir I'm sure we won't have to detain you longer than necessary well what do you want well in view of certain statements you're alleged to have made regarding The Disappearance of your wife what are you winking at sir I've got it it's conspiracy the whole police force is in it Mr Gordon don't you Mr Gordon you blood sacker don't carve it up with Sergeant Ry Sykes not a penny more and rather hand Mr Gordon are you suggesting that the police have been accepting money accepting I like that he only accepted £3,000 and that's your lot now get out Mr Gordon I think you would be wise just AE just a minute have you got a war to come in here no I haven't but I then I think you'll be wise to get out of it before I sling you out but go beat it you'll be hearing from us again and you'll be wasting your flipping time 2 3 400 50 60 70 sh get far 470 what now sir get hold of that Sant SES of five Division and you better start digging in the ruins of Gordon's house he killed his wife all right do you mind what's this A nighty you going away for the weekend that who are you don't you recognize me no oh yes yes I couldn't forget I certainly could what do you want Oh Mr Gordon the gang have killed your wife yes I know oh why didn't you pay the rent some I thought they were bluffing I didn't think that idiot could kill a fly and they hadn't finished yet they're going to dress up as policeman and come a blackmail you what yes I heard them plotting it inspector Wayne Right and um Sergeant SES and I fell for it I fell for it then I'm too late £3,000 too late only one consolation the second lot didn't get anything what second lot you know inspector Jensen and the Elephant I forgot his name but there wasn't a second lot no look the gang's idea was to Blackmail you when they sucked you dry they were going to write an anonymous letter to the police saying it was you who killed your wife well didn't even bother I've done that myself there some real policeman I've got to get out of the country I should need a false passport where can I get a falce passport oh I can help you there my uncle makes them H you're kidding how soon well tomorrow on conditions later later what what conditions that you take me with you look I don't hold with murder and if the gang find out that I've warned you they'll kill me all right all right now about the passwort how much well we need two that would be 500 500 you take 460 that's my lot your lot what are we going to live on a bom oh don't worry about that I've got some stacked away for emergency like this come on let's get the phone GL taken well it really looks as if my dreams might come true dreams what dreams oh a country house a cook a butler and a gardener all the things that Billy promised me but would never have given me I've only got one dream a little garden and a big girl me own size it worked like a dream I played it beautifully beautifully I wish you'd all been there yeah never mind about the details how much 2,300 empty your pockets how dare you turn them out or must we do it for you I've never been so insulted in all my life how dare you keep your distance keep your distance right you know it is insulting thank you it's high time we decided whose boss here once and for all we have in your absence we held an election you were defeated and I was elected unanimously now do put away that silly Great Gun and empty your pockets like a good boy you can't do that h a woman after all I've done for you after all you've done for us lucky we ain't strangle you know cough up or maybe we will he's right you know we might oh right there you I wasn't going to keep it now there one there isn't anymore watch this that's my petty cash petty cash that better is that all yes go hey guess what I got nearly 500 out of a fake passport well done he party can get a real one for 30 Bob and that's not all he has got a secret cashing I knew it where I don't know but he thinks we're going to South America together he's meeting me at Southampton tomorrow and bringing the money with him and he'll just slip off on his own he can't he thinks I'm bringing the passports oh why aren't you traveling down together because he has to say goodbye to his dear old mother Ah that's nice isn't it got it that's where it is at his mother's how do you know because dimwit at this moment he couldn't care less about his dear old mother yes boys I think our little partnership is almost over I think we're on to the last of his Lolly come on Billy my boy drunk again and not this time how are you m Billy boy now what you want really is a cup of nice strong coffee it's a jolly good idea I got to make one myself no really don't do that I'll make it for you bil Billy what are you doing that for I'll tell you in a minute Billy yeah Ma are you playing over the weekend no I'm going to South America Oh Billy South America good evening good evening do you think you could spare us a glass of water please certainly certainly these gentlemen are asking for some water but I'm going to make them some tea thank you thank you very much not so fast Billy boy aren't you going to kiss your mommy goodbye what are you oh no you what do you want now we've come to help you with the luggage here there's a black car with p o l i c e on stay put Billy wouldn't say a word he damned I'm V the door oh good evening hello Mr Gordon I understand that you contemplate leaving the country what what is that so nonsense I came down to see my mother oh is this your case no sir no it's mine haven't we met before no sir no I don't think so the name is m Travers Annie M Travers we just happened to be passing and the good lady was kind enough to offer us some refreshment oh but I see you're busy sir come gentlemen we must be on our way good day sir good day thank of your hospitality sir oh and uh do apologize the good lady for me Che H sir SC now Mr Gordon I'm going to ask you a few questions first of all do you recognize this night dress yes and they did come on let's get up wait a minute you mind I have every reason to believe that it was you who murdered your wife Lucy Gordon don't be so ridiculous why should I want to murder my wife I loved her and we had her little differences L doesn't I'd sacrifice anything to have my Lucy [Music] Back Billy Billy oh I said he was drunk when he came in no shock dear he's had the most terrible shock he really thought I'd let left him for good didn't you [Music] dear and pinching his car to get away you know this is better than a HSE hey fellas yeah well if you don't drive slow we'll finish up in one ah Che up Sydney we're rich at last here who's got a case oh well hang on to it there's 50 th there to be carved up between us oh only after that Lucy gets her remember Lucy's had hers we've kissed goodbye to Lucy and she's kissed goodbye to this little lot his face when you took that case yeah gentleman I just been thinking do you think this is honest oh shut up never mind that hang on to that case and hang on tight right [Music] [Applause] la la
