My Family Wants To Use GoFundMe To Pay For College!

chris is with us in Connecticut hi Chris welcome to the Dave Ramsey show hey Dave it's an honor thanks for having me sure what's up that last rant was a good lead-in for my question I need help from mean old Uncle Dave to help articulate the craziness of a family members actions we have a family member who wants to go to grad school out of state for $60,000 a year plus living expenses and started a GoFundMe page to raise the money they have undergrad loans still they live at home they work full-time and in their post they address the questions of why don't you choose a state school or a cheaper school and said those programs are too competitive and if one school accepts you you go no matter what because you will never have another opportunity and they say they do not approve of working or it's discouraged by the school for fear of failing out we love this person but there's so much wrong with this that I don't know where to start the conversation and I know what to say but I know you'll say it better why are you going to start the conversation because I mean that we don't want her to start out her life in in debt and in paying off her loans in 20 years I mean knowing what I know I wish I knew it at her age yeah we want to help okay hey this doesn't sound like someone that is going to be persuaded to me mm-hmm that's why I asked um I think that this is an arrogant person who's got everything figured out no she really isn't she is normally a very sweet girl and this kind of took the whole family by surprise and the whole family's pretty upset about it but no one really knows what to say how old was a girl I think she's 23 okay and what relation is she do you like cousin your wife's cousin that's fairly distant it's not like it's you're all pretty close that's not like it's your sister okay well I don't think you've not much of a footing to do a persuasion 'el talk here but if you were going to you just have to rebut the stupid stuff that she's saying mm-hmm I mean you just have to go through and go this is just simply not true okay the idea that you have to go to this school to be competitive is not true the idea that you have to go to school that requires you to not work is not true what is the field of study nurse practitioner okay they do generally require our encourage you to not work in that field of study when you're doing your final your even when you're doing your grad work because that is very intense so it's a wonderful field and 60 grams not bad only she just never can in her pain offer her undergrad law no I'd be fine if she called me if she could figure out a way to go for cash I'd go for cash and while the undergrads at until she gets out and finishes her nurse practitioner then use that income to clear up the undergrad I wouldn't want to add to the hole that she's in but this here's the thing anytime someone in making any decision I mean virtually any decision says there's only one way to do this that type of fatalism is flawed logic mmm-hmm it's the same thing same logic that says oh there's only one person on the planet I was supposed to marry and that one got away I will never get married no no there's more than one if you can choose from there's only one house you know I only have two jobs I can choose from though there's a whole lot of jobs you can choose from you know I mean anytime you narrow your choices down and create a drama around the fact that you made the choice says that your critical thinking skills are broken does that make sense yeah it does you know and so that that's where I would attack this and just go you know it's kind of almost a pat on the head and just say calm down sweetie there's other ways to become a nurse practitioner this is not the only school to go to it's not the only one you can get accepted to and there's other ways to fund going you know and so what you're doing is trying to create your ideal world here where you don't have consequences and get to do whatever the flip you want to do and no one is liking this we're all looking at you thinking it's stupid we think the emperor has no clothes and I'm gonna be the kid in the street that says dudes naked I'm gonna call you out and say this is bad logic it's bad for you it makes you look dumb and immature and you're not dumb and immature but you really are acting it and there's other ways to become a nurse practitioner than this school it's not the only school on the planet the lever except you what a load of horse crap you know lots of people work and do other things I don't do much while they're in nurse practitioner school but it's very tough to get through it's a tough four it's a rigorous study program it really is it's not it's not one that it's easy to do to work but she already got her under guard he got her nursing certificate and she just wants to go to a nurse practitioner level I don't know exactly what her undergrad was in but she's working as a medical assistant right now I mean she could pass her nursing bar ahead of time and go ahead and be a nurse she could probably do some practicum stuff and get paid for it while she's doing this she might even get a hospital company to write the check and take her to nursing practitioner if she agreed to work for him for a few years and go you know that that's a way to get the things scholarship there's all kinds of ways to look at this and once you decide that fatalism is not your methodology for your critical thinking skills meaning I go into drama mode and go there's only one ready to do this this is the way and you're telling me I can't live my dreams that's just so immature mm-hmm it's just so would you recommend with you know in that being my wife's side of the family that my wife take the lead on this instead of whoever has enough credibility with her because you're telling someone you love something that they likely are not going to hear and the only way they might hear it is if they truly believe the person delivering it loves them mm-hmm deeply I mean because you know you think about somebody delivering you news you don't want to hear who are you going to hear it from someone you really trust and that you trust that they don't have a conflict of interest and you trust their wisdom and you the fact that they care about your life that's who you'll hear wicked tough news from right yeah I mean cuz that's why you know somebody in you know New Hampshire sends me hate mail about something I said I'm just like that's humorous you know or you troll me on Twitter that's just humorous because the likelihood of me changing my behavior being accountable to one of you that I've never met is just a mean but I'm not going to but one of my best friends walks in here who's written five best-selling books and goes Dave's what you saw on radio that they was really you were off base on that I'm gonna hear that from that guy right yeah he can deliver me cuz in other words if you're gonna smack somebody in the back of the head you first got to get your arm around their shoulder mm-hmm and give them a hug so your hand is in position to smack the back of the head well you know you said something the other day on the show about you know someone who's doing something not smart and everyone else is saying oh yeah that's great good for you and behind your back they're saying you know now's dumb well just tell them just tell them that so you know people are talking about you behind your back bounce dude but this isn't no one's got no one loves you enough Scott enough courage to sit down and look at you and say hey I really want to challenge some of your logic here because I don't think it's good for you it doesn't affect me it doesn't affect me you go do this my life is not gonna change because I'm not giving you any money and I'm not gonna pay any of your debt so it doesn't affect me at all I just care about you and I think you've got some flawed logic here and I think this lack of wisdom is going to bring pain into your life and I'm gonna love you enough to tell you when maybe someone else didn't that's your only way to set this up and it is probably your wife not you but even then I think this girl is so invested in this path emotionally that it's gonna be she's not asking you know yeah she's not asking she's telling everybody I said arrogant she's not asking for advice she's telling everyone this is the way it is you people mm-hmm and that's why I don't think she's gonna listen that my grandmother used to say those convinced against their will or of the same opinions still so that's why I don't argue with people on the show I answer your question you know you hear me call people call in and they asked me the same question four times after I've already answered it trying to get a different answer that they want you ever heard that yeah I finally just hang up on cuz I'm wasting my time they didn't want to answer they want me to prove they're stupid today and I'm not going to and I move on to the next caller so hey I appreciate that you care about your cousin you're a good man your wife's cousin it's a good thing it'sit's hard to watch people you love do stupid stuff and embarrassing things and most all of us have a family member or two that too but if you know your wife can try it that way man I just can give you a low probability success I think those girls already got her mind made up

Channel: The Ramsey Show - Highlights

Views: 154,288

Rating: 4.8274269 out of 5

Keywords: the dave ramsey show, budget money debt cash, real estate, insurance, how to make money, dave ramsey, save, credit card, compound interest, buying house, buy, snowball, My Family Wants To Use GoFundMe To Pay For College, gofundme, crowdfunding, fundraising, money, charity, go fund me, donations, donation, tuition, college, personal crowdfunding

Id: CUeStuq9gDk

Length: 9min 31sec (571 seconds)

Published: Fri Aug 02 2019