Mulan II - Nostalgia Critic

[Music] [Music] [Music] hello I'm the Nostalgia Critic I remember it so you don't have to Mulan when I first came out it was a critical and box-office hit but it's following seems to have grown bigger and bigger with every passing year though I personally found the film okay I'd be lying if I said I didn't see what drew so many people to it it songs are catchy its comedy is decent and it's ly though nothing new by movie standards was kind of different in terms of animated Disney standards say what you will about their hero wins but chances are if you were the animated lead of a Disney movie you probably weren't going to do much swordplay hell one of the few times they did you had to pretend to be a boy think about that so yeah well nothing groundbreaking Mulan still Maja's to keep folks coming back even to the point where people are concerned Disney's gonna ruin their childhood classic with another live-action cash grab well I have good news my concerned fans Disney ruin that property long before that version will ever come out [Music] during the age where Disney would slap a popular name on low-quality [ __ ] as long as it made the money ah such different times dozens of their animated movies were given the direct-to-dvd sequel treatment and Milan was one of those to be dragged in at sore point even as a person who had no extreme feelings for the original I feel just as insulted as no doubt the majority of fans who saw this did it's easily among the top 5 of the worst Disney DVD sequels if you know their lineup that's no small feat so how does this movie punch your child who it's so hard it'll make your ancestors bleed well let's make a SAP out of you to find out this is Mulan - the film opens with George Takei speaking over puffs of smoke so probably a normal evening as oh my I am so big it turns out he's praising moo shu voice this time bite-mark mostly if the ancestors hate glorifying him for helping Milan save China love saves China one and now he thinks he's the infant it's like working with Shatner all over again we didn't cut to the credits because this perfectly follows this tone is more than a shade of color as we see Mulan voiced again by ming-na wen teaching children about the importance of balance in both fighting and nature okay so far not too bad but do you notice a strange change in animation don't get me wrong it's still Disney with nice colors and line work and honestly compared to some of their other DVD sequels this is a lot better but every one for some reason is animated like the comic relief in the original no funny characters move funny but when the main characters need to move with purpose strength or elegance they seem more solid so you can read the subtlety of their expressions and body language here everybody is bouncing over the top like their acting coach was a wavy arm balloon at a car dealership just look at how long laughs here honey I don't think she should babysit our kids why don't you boys sound like jazz shut up it sounds like Shelby from Street Fighter damn it you made me reference that movie Shang approaches played again by BD Wong cathy has a knack for picking sequels as he proposes to Milan who excitedly agrees Wow it's like instant annoyance just add Mu Shu and tears of sadness will follow I'm just so happy for me are you crying again of course I'm crying girl what you think you're like a bad Chinese buffet kids menu mascot passable on paper a nightmare in every other realm you know I'm the guy to give you and pretty boy to hook up am i I got in on a my guardian or my white guy pretending to be a black guy I thought John DiMaggio was the only one who could do that back at the ancestors temple it looks like Mulan and Shang getting married means Mu Shu will be out of a job as the husband's ancestors will take over as the guardians again something I tell Shatner a lot a messenger from the Emperor arrives though to give Mulan a kind of plot Mongol forces are moving closer our army is hopelessly outnumbered okay after all that's talked of romance and marriage and such now we're gonna get to what Mulan fans really want to see fighting swordplay martial arts explosions let's do this let me lead my forces in a preemptive strike each of my warriors will fight like ten Mongols let's get down to business no general yes instead we will become United with the kingdom of ki Gong through marriage oh we're doing brave yeah you remember that movie you know where they make it look like the main characters gonna kick ass but it's actually about diplomacy and she rarely fights anyone and when she does she sucks Congrats Mulan fans you got exactly what you were waiting for yeah maybe the Disney Channel movies will give us something good God you will escort three princesses - Keegan's and yes by the way this is the plot no fighting wars - a clever strategy know everything that people liked mulan for their just chaperoning three princesses for a marriage my daughter's know exactly what they're doing it's like a Back to the Future sequel becoming a cooking show bizarrely that's not what we're looking for but Mulan is totally down for millions of people being slaughtered as long as it means someone doesn't have to marry if they're not in love they consider it an honor to marry in the cause of peace I apology accepted Wow theater is a dick apology accepted oh and babe give me a soda feminists we must become one with the countryside how many troops do you estimate you will need three three companies three men so they decide to trust the fate of the Emperor's daughters with men so horny they literally sing the exact same song about banging from the first film it sounds like I'm paying you for the exact same song no it's um during a barroom brawl that makes it completely different here's all the monies I need you to join Mulan and me on a mission to save China naturally where we fight the injustice of the patriarchy you don't wanna move on three huh by the way see if you understand the scene introducing the Emperor's daughters where are we a three-headed snake monster for a minute no its Milan two nothing that cool would be in this one of the women though drops her shoe because of this movies not gonna be Moulin why not be Cinderella [Music] this moment brought to you by Quentin Tarantino no wait now it's brought to you by Quentin Tarantino permit me to introduce far mulan it is a privilege to meet the hero of China you might need these it's a little chilly the journey begins a man even the horses look pissed off to be in this movie hill with this [ __ ] man that was a cow in the first film let's hear some of that stellar direct-to-dvd writing I realize our duty is to the mission but but I have another duty to my heart oh why was so bad and physically assaulted me but one of the princesses seems to have the hots for chubby Popeye did you see the way he looked at me the gorilla with the bad eye he's more like a big cuddly panda bear he's such a handsome ugly guy you didn't even talk to you a true romantic can tell no isn't that nice arranged marriages are bad but confessing your love to a total stranger is fine you're just nine years away nine years away Phi Mu Lan your highness is anything wrong mmm let's change that line there we go not a single thing I just wanted to compliment you you are so brave to take your father's place in the army you see we replace all the action in this movie by reminding you there was action in the first one how did you decide between duty and heart I guess I learned that my duty is to my heart my duty is to my man you can tell they fuss so highly of that line they just had to repeat it over and over I have another duty to my heart how did you decide between duty and my duty is to my heart duty is - guys I got it I got it then Mulan says not bad is good meanwhile Mu Shu wanting to keep his job as guardian tries to sabotage Shang Mulan's marriage by forcing them to split up just enough time to stop Mulan from making the biggest mistake of math I mean her oh yeah he's 100% the villain of this picture even star would be like what a little psycho you tripped marriages off I forgot they were insane yes seriously my fiance did that like hey we should both be near our horses dicks that's when I call off the wedding this duel led an army against the Huns and he's running away from a squirrel a skunk a porcupine and a mouse even the Cowardly Lion would be like dude seriously grow a pair all future snide comments will be lion related one of Moo shus antics sends the carrot spiraling out of control again he adds so much to this movie as everyone tries to save the princess is inside [Music] good to know the first major near-death action sequence of this movie comes from the friggin comic relief this red dragon would be less dangerous thank God they let us know the fruit was okay first but just because he failed at killing army leaves doesn't mean he has to fail at killing their relationship I bet he and mulata two nasty words away from an all-out feud I have two nasty words for you [Applause] [Music] [Applause] so original by this point our leads for challenging society's gender roles and fighting cultural stereotypes here they bicker over directions yeah that dumb [ __ ] what is it with men and asking direction what is it with women and maps oh you're saying women can't read man I'm saying that women home and from Beijing women are from Shanghai and this movie is from the anus of hell I better go I've got the first watch don't worry they've all been kidnapped the Emperor is paying the ransom as we speak the princesses of course find they have an attraction for each guard in fact one of them was even riding a runaway letter saying she had to follow her heart I have come to realize that my duty is to my heart cute let me tell you about the hearts that will be ripped out of people's chests if you don't continue this mission okay so personally I'm not down for arranged marriages I know it's not a big surprise but in movies like a lad in Pocahontas and so forth that alone is the only stakes involved this is literally the deaths of millions of people if they don't go through with it I'm sorry that's more important if you had some sort of clever workaround I would understand but the movies not presenting anything like that speaking of which how long have you known this guy you're willing to let millions die for if this wedding does not take place in three days for three days he's not even that great a guy remember this from the original who always speaks her mind that could be you you can be the silent mute slave who can't thoughts it looks like all of them feel the same way now as they sing about how great it would be yet they did have the responsibilities of being a princess you know for one of Disney's most marketable titles there sure are a lot of songs about how it's sucks to be one guess he got his jerk-off fantasy for the night hey where's that lizard demon we're supposed to charming oh look he's making it look like Milan's calling Shang an idiot and gasp even mocking his bad breath except for that garlic breath oh wait that boy can peel paint was hired by the Mongols he's doing more damage right now than they are I'll just let this be for itself don't play coy I saw you outside my tent I haven't left my post and I suppose you weren't gossiping about me with the princesses this is the stupidest thing we've ever stupid why are you talking with your hand over your mouth I wouldn't want to peel your paint [Music] what is that Chinese slur for something I'm discovering so much saying peel your paint coin salon fredo all sorts of stuff I didn't know we're offensive and in the great tradition of awkwardly paused Disney frames here's another one to add to your collection and next time don't leave your post my god it's like what Damien saw in the dream sequence from Exorcist except somehow this feels more evil the guards invite the princesses to the nearby village without telling Mulan so blah goes to find them without telling Shang China is so dead as you'd expect they start to fall in love as Mulan finds them and they confess their feelings squeal when she's gonna let China die and Savior of China but Shang finds them and says hey remember people dying in [ __ ] I'm so sorry to break up your little party whoo this is gonna be good you wore this guy on shirts kids [Music] [Applause] what an emotional powerhouse of animation squash a bug on your neck with your chin and then seesaw way like a toy bird that drinks water you brought us Snow White Shang and Mulan also decide to break up and after hears them talk this way maybe they should the problem Mulan is you don't trust your heart sometimes I wonder if you even have one you two are so wrong for each other dr. Phil says you make a great couple you since Kelly movie for they continue the mission as unfunny trogdor looks over his smashing success I see pretty boy isn't talking to you and you're not talking to pretty boy well you know you can always talk to me I'd rather talk to gurgi yeah I said it Mushu admits though that he's sabotage the whole thing which suddenly makes mulan think there's still hope for them you should not I'm gonna lose you and my pedestal you mean you got between Shang and me so you could keep your job well when you put it like that and anyway I sound like a terrible person all those problems they weren't us they were you hmm I've got to talk to Shang tell him I love him yeah but think about it if an Eddie Murphy dragon can split you up something that's obviously a work of fiction what are you gonna do when real problems arise but dear god what is that your action in a Mulan movie no quit just read hide your heads you're not ready yeah thank God they travelled with as few soldiers as possible how the conversation go again three three companies three men these are my children we must become one with the countryside that includes being beaten like salmon fighting off a bear who I want you brucy on one with the countryside come across a bridge as they prepare to meet Kali or whatever hell Mushu is going to Jing let's go so she can climb up as they go to the bottom and only find his sword oh my god I'm saying what a twist oh I'm just sad Mulan's crying stops the rain as she decides to still continue the mission meanwhile aragorn's uber driver finds Shang without a friggin scratch on him I truly feel better after that fall go me as Mulan reaches ki Gong and tells them everyone was killed a marriage was promised a sanction no alliance so what's the plan again I would be honored to Wed a prince of ki Gong Wu ah and the amount of land you don't own is [ __ ] you don't own [ __ ] well with this marriage due his assistants tell the Emperor though that she's a war hero so this might be a good move Oh more dear than three mere princesses oh it's don't what unites anything if General Patton married Queen Elizabeth America doesn't suddenly have an alliance with England so god I love to know what that alternate reality is like please Jiki the emperor agrees to allow her to marry his son and the other two sons disappear before they're even seen as mulan gets ready for her wedding this is the climax everybody yeah remember the sword fight and fireworks an evil bad guy trying to slice people to pieces the brave Mulan battling her armed adversaries his melon bride who doesn't want to marry someone she doesn't love yeah we're an Owen Wilson comedy at this point Wow I would give up a thousand pedestals if I could stop I doubt even the golden dragon of unity could stop this now not even the bloody dragon of messy divorces can come to my aid yeah remember all that [ __ ] I said about following your heart and refusing to marry someone you don't know moonwalk that [ __ ] back - hypocrite Ville because I have a permanent residency there but shame stops the wedding just in time think out the dude save the day in this girl power flick but the Emperor isn't taking no for an answer however Mu Shu pretends to be the golden dragon of unity and tells the Emperor to marry Shang ambu on that much fire he could have Game of Thrones the enemy and one single night and both of these would somehow still have shitty endings I hereby pronounce you husband and wife [Applause] what about China so this is the famous mushin say but I have no secrets for my husband what about the Alliance you never said anything about the Alliance literally the whole reason all of this is happening great golden dragon of unity so nothing's changed you're still not united and you're gonna be invaded any second aren't there rules of course right next to the rules about dressing up like a man and joining the army by the way you're still slated for execution but aren't we all of the armies aren't joined my pedicure and I'm not even kidding that's where it ends the whole trip to save China talks of duty and honor and obligation and from what they showed us they completely doomed everybody remember how big they were making that threat our army is hopelessly outnumbered if this wedding does not take place the alliance will crumble and the Mongols will destroy us we just have to assume they're still outnumbered and everyone got slaughtered in fact the Ayane is in some countries this movie is called Mulan - with a final war where's the final war oh I get it it was after the movie ended and it was so devastating they just showed one second of China burning and quickly cut to the end credits but at least Mulan and the princesses follow their hearts I wouldn't follow this if it was serving fresh Mu Shu just very tempting at this point talk about finding new respect for the original if I knew this is what we could have gotten in its place I would have immediately called the first one a masterpiece the characters in this range from dumb to horrid the plot is insultingly nonsensical the animation half the time is awkward and it doesn't give Moulin fans anything they would be searching for they don't even make her a princess you always see her in the lineups and people love her there but they always bring up that's not her title here you could have done it have shame figure out he's a prince or something and they get married I don't know it's less convoluted than what they gave us and at least it would have served some purpose as is this is a horrible movie to show your kids especially ones that watch the original it's stupid it's degrading it's not fun to watch it doesn't teach you creative thinking or how to get out of bad situations it takes a million steps backwards come what may with the live-action remake I'm just gonna call it there is no way it can possibly be worse than this I'm the Nostalgia Critic and dishonor on you dishonor on your cow dishonor on your home family dishonor but I have another duty to my heart hey Doug Walker here so doing something a little different usually whenever I do a convention we charge for prints and we charge for taking pictures but the money from taking pictures goes to charity whatever the charity of the week is and I realized we have the show called what you can do where we go to charities in the area and we show how you can volunteer if you can't donate and I realize I should have been any time I do a convention I should be giving the money to these people because they're so kind to open up their doors and let us shoot the place and show the wonderful things that they do and it's just they gotta rework their schedules to do it and everything so if you see a charity being repeated on here that's why so what we're gonna do is that I'm gonna show you once again the charity we've done recently called the Center for rich living from the what you can do video it's a really fantastic place I mean the video will show you everything and yeah we've done it before but it really deserves as much attention as possible so I'm sort of gonna be working backwards here whenever I do a con I'm gonna do a shout out to a charity that we've already done a video on but like I say it kind of deserves even more attention so with that said here's the video from that check out it I check it out I can talk if you can because it's a wonderful place and definitely donate or if you can volunteer it's a fantastic place take a look my name is Harriet Levy and I'm the CEO of the Center for rich living were located in River Woods we provide social enrichment programs to people all ages with developmental disabilities as you can see on the artwork on our walls is done by our members we're really proud of it it's a showcase throughout our entire building and of the colors I look at the color we were established in 1960 when things weren't that great for people any age with developmental disabilities often times they were in institutions there wasn't a lot of promise and hope for our families in fact we hear over and over again how families would hear upon the birth of their child well they'll never learn anything they'll never grow they'll never be able to do anything you would be better off putting them in an institution well we found that to be not true from children it grow to teens to young adults to adults and now we serve all ages from from youth pretty much twelve years up to if someone's 100 they could come to the center we asked our families and our members what is it that you want what are you looking for and one mother said nobody's ever asked me that before my child has always gotten the hand-me-down classroom with no windows in the back of the school in the basement of the school with torn carpeting and for you to ask and she was in tears when she responded to our survey people need to be valued not undervalued when you raise the bar on those expectations people achieve to that level whether or not you have a disability that's how it works tears our table Heights you'll see the cutouts underneath the counters you'll see everything's kind of lowered as well so there's access to the microwave access to the oven the indirect lighting and the soft floor so you'll walk through you won't hear your footsteps things like that so it's it's kind of a joke right you notice that it's accessible for a lot of different people we're here to serve the community so we appreciate whatever you could do for us click on that link it's right there click on it thank you so much thank you so much you [Music] you

Channel: Channel Awesome

Views: 1,237,111

Keywords: channel awesome, nostalgia critic, doug walker, mulan II, mulan 2, mulan II review, mulan 2 review, mulan movie, mulan movies, movie reviews, disney, disney movies, bad disney movies, direct to video, disney direct to video, disney mvoie reviews, disney reviews, movie, film, movie critic, movie editorials, film review, bad disney sequels, disney sequels

Id: 7AmVkXujCic

Length: 26min 57sec (1617 seconds)

Published: Wed Aug 28 2019