Mr. Krabs, I can't take much more
of this stalling stuff. Always thinking about yourself.
Get out there and stall! What happened
to your arms and legs, boy? The kids are using them
as boomerangs. Boomerangs? Oh, no.
They might break my windows! What are we gonna do? Well, now
that all their money's counted, tell them Krabby
has just arrived! Really? He's here? Oh, boy!
Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Get out there and tell 'em! [yelling] Listen, everybody! Krabby the Clown is
in the building! Yay! Who do you want?! Krabby! When do you want him?! Now! Krabby! Krabby! Krabby! Krabby!
Hooray! Hey, kids! Are you ready to meet
Krabby the Clown? Yay! All right, here you go! Hey, kids!
Uh, thank you all for coming! Thank you.
Eat plenty of Krabby Patties! [laughing] Do do de doodly doo
do do de do. Ah, Krabs, you've done it again! I'll say you have. SpongeBob? How could you, Mr. Krabs? You promised these children
Krabby the Clown, but all I saw out there was... Cheapy the Cheapskate! Hey, I ain't cheap! Now take this tomato back
to the kitchen before it spoils. But what about
the true meaning of summer? What about the children? The children?
I don't care about the children! I just care
about their parents' money. Ah, the fact
that their feeble minds are easily manipulated
by cheap playgrounds and talentless clowns is
no skin off my nose! Survival of the fittest,
SpongeBob! Survival of the fittest.
[chuckles] - Ahem.
- Huh? Oh, hey kids. Uh... Uncle Krabs has to go
to the bank now. Heh. Get him! [sighing] I suppose I'll never know
the true meaning of summer. I thought I knew it once, but that was a long,
long time ago. You mean this morning? Yeah. [yelling] Come on outside,
Mr. SquarePants. It's a summer miracle! Yay! Hooray! Wow, thousands of dollars
fluttering in the breeze. I guess that's
the true meaning of summer. Hooray! Here they come, lads. Hooray! Fantastic. Thank you very much, madam. [dinging] I'm feeling so alive. <i> ♪ Cha-ching, Cha-ching
Cha-chingaree ♪</i> <i> ♪ Money, oh money
How I love thee ♪</i> <i> ♪ Cha-ching, Cha-chong
Cha-changaroo ♪</i> <i> ♪ From pennies to dollars
Any amount will do ♪</i> <i> ♪ Cha-ching, Cha-ching
It's no contest ♪</i> <i> ♪ There's only one thing
That I love the best ♪</i> <i> ♪ From every sight
I've ever seen ♪</i> <i> ♪ The sweetest sound
I've heard ♪</i> <i> ♪ I'd gladly give up
Everything ♪</i> <i> ♪ For all the money
That I've earned ♪</i> <i> ♪ Cha-ching, Cha-ching
Cha-chingaree ♪</i> <i> ♪ There's nothing on Earth
Like the feeling of greed ♪</i> <i> ♪ There's nothing on Earth
Like the feeling of greed ♪</i> [laughing] Please don't do that again. Hello, welcome to my commercial. Would you like the convenience
of a Krabby Patty at home, without the hassle
of going to the Krusty Krab? Well, now you can. Have delicious Krabby Patties
any time you want. They're in your grocer's
freezer section. Buy them. I want your money!
Did you get that, Pearly-girl? Yes, Daddy, and stop babying me! [static] So, Mr. Grouper,
what do you think? Call me Don. Oh. Well, okay, Don.
Will this make me rich? Mr. Krabs, if you want to sell
zero Krabby Patties and wind up in the poor house, then I say go
with your commercial. Oh. But,
if you really want to be rich, keep your mouth shut
and listen to us, sir. Ooh. Okay. Uh, Mr. Krabs,
what are you doing out here? Oh, you know, unwinding,
enjoying the free parking [creaking] Ew. What's happening
to your little critter there? I'm not sure,
but when he does that he finds change. Change? As in legal tender? Yeah. Watch. Shiver me shell wax. You're like
a little money detecting... Uh... [stammering]
What do you call it? Sneagle. - You mean snail.
- Say, SpongeBob. Why don't you bring
your little sneagle to work with ye? Because you said
that pets were nothing but disease carrying vermin
that should never be brought to the workplace. Oh, but that was before I knew they had such
an incredible talent. Yes, but for some reason
the whole process causes Gary great discomfort. I could never do that to him. I could. [snoring] - Squidward!
- AH! What is your problem? My problem is
that you aren't working. Which means
I lose M. U. N. E. E., which means you lose
your J. O. B. Remind me again.
Is that good news or bad news? Tentacles, I mean it. You get back
to minding that register. Minding it for which customer? I see your point.
But still, I'm not paying you to dream sweet nothings.
Do something. [dinging] Krabby Patties,
they taste so nice that they... taste nice. Hey, that was my slogan. Great stuff, huh?
This guy is gonna be a star. I'm already a star. That's the attitude. Hey, SpongeBob,
now that I finished doing whatever it is I'm doing,
you want to go play? Sorry, yellow box,
Patrick has to make a personal appearance at mall. I- Oh. Don, will this commercial
really help me make money? You need to call your bank,
Krabs, because they are going
to have to build an extra vault to hold all the extra money. Oh. I do declare, Mr. Grouper, I believe I have a case
of the vapors. I told you, call me Don. [sighing] Of course you could double, maybe even triple or quadruple
that money, if you- No. Forget it. What? Forget what? What? What?
What are you saying? Well, we're ran some numbers
and realized that you could make a lot more money
if you changed the formula. How much a lot more? A lot, a lot more. Well, then let's fill 'er up
with filler. Mr. Krabs, are you changing
the secret Krabby Patty formula? [laughing, stammering] It's just a little tweak,
me boy. What is filler? [laughing] This little yellow box here
is full of questions. What do you say we go see
where the money's made? Oh, that sounds great. There you go,
bring in that change. [laughing] I've been working
on this one for months. [laughing] What's so funny, Mr. Krabs? Oh, hi, SpongeBob. Uh, oh, well- Say, uh, aren't you supposed
to be out back, scraping out the dumpster? Done and done. Get back there and swab
the poop deck, so to speak. Yes, sir! Hey, what are you doing
with my change? Your change? Anything on the floor
be fair game. Hey! [laughing] Looks like I need pockets
for me pockets. [grumbling] Hey, where's everybody going?
Wait! Come back! Ah, fine, go on [unintelligible] With me new money finder here
who needs ya?! [chuckles] Four at a time quadruplicates
me money. Let's try for five.
[chuckles] Uh-oh. Ooh. Oh! Ooh. [screaming] My wittle weg! Yay! All right, next up. [neighing] My other wittle weg! Horsey Patrick, come back!
[sobbing] That's me money running away!
Come back! Oh, yes. Oh, yes, come back. I said, "Whoa, horsey Patrick." Look at me. I'm a horse.
Cloppity, cloppity, cloppity. [laughing] [chuckles] Cloppity, cloppity, cloppity. Then let's go on strike. Yay, a strike!<i>
♪ Going on strike ♪</i> <i> ♪ We're going on strike ♪</i> I still don't know
what strike means, but, <i> ♪ We're going on a strike ♪</i> Hey, guess what, Mr. Krabs? Me and Squidward are going
to go on strike. - A strike?
- Yeah. You mean you're going
to make picket signs? Yeah. And you're gonna make
protest speeches? Yeah, yeah! And you're gonna demand
me respect? Yeah! [laughing] Huh?
Hey, where's my change? [laughing] Well, that stinks. [laughing] I bet he didn't see that coming. Hey, what's the big ide-er? [music playing] We just found the pot
at the end of the rainbow. Aieeeee! What the? [laughing] It's like taking candy
from a baby! And then it went whoo whoo
over there, and the coins just flew
from the machine. Uh, don't worry, sir.
We'll get to the bottom of this. Uh-oh. Pronto. Time for plan B! May I help you, sir? I'd like that table
by the window. As soon as the present customers
are done with it. They like to chew their food
thoroughly. 97... 98... 99... Don't rush me, woman! Perhaps this will speed up
the process. How will that help
them chew faster? SpongeBob, what's the problem? No problem,
I was just telling this customer he has to wait
for his favorite table. Five bucks if
I get the table now. [grunting] Ow, my hip. Enjoy your meal. Let me know
if you need anything else. Why did you give him the table? You know what they say:
"Money Talks." I didn't know money could talk. Did it tell you
to kick those old people out? What do you have
against old people? Don't go goofy on me, boy.
Money can't really talk. Only fish can talk. Wouldn't it be neat
if money could talk? [chuckles]
Yeah. Wait a minute... What's that music? I think Mr. Krabs is gonna sing. Oh, great. <i> ♪ If I could talk to money
How great my life would be ♪</i> <i> ♪ We'd tell each other secrets♪</i> <i> ♪ All their friends
Would visit me ♪</i> <i> ♪ I'd bathe in filthy riches
Which is clean enough for me ♪</i> <i> ♪ Oh, if you could tell me
What you want ♪</i> <i> ♪ How happy we would be ♪</i> <i> ♪ We'd surely be
The best of friends ♪</i> <i> ♪ We'd never disagree
There couldn't be a downside ♪</i> <i> ♪ Not one that I could see
If I could talk to money ♪</i> <i> ♪ Come along, sing with me ♪</i> Uh, no thanks, I gotta go! I really have to pee. <i> ♪ If I could talk to money
And it could talk to me... ♪</i> <i> ♪ We'd always be
The best of friends ♪</i> <i> ♪ For all eternity ♪</i> [laughing, toilet flushing] What did I miss? <i> ♪ Oh, if I could talk to money♪</i> [ringing] Krusty Krab. [coughing]
Oh, Mr. Krabs, it's... [coughing] Squidward. Mr. Squidward,
what are you doing on the phone? You should be working. [coughing] I can't work, too...
[coughing] sick. [sneezing] You do sound pretty bad. You sure
you're too sick to work? [chuckles] I mean- I mean-
[coughing] positive. Hmm. Hmm, too sick, eh? Ooh, I got the cure
for what ails ya. Well you just rest up,
Mr. Squidward. I'll take care of everything. Okay. Bye. Talk to ya-
I- I mean, I mean- [coughing]
Bye. No one fakes sick on Mr. Krabs
and gets away with it. [groaning] Thank you... for your money. Huh? What? Come on, Harry, let's go. Come on, you. Mr. Krabs! For shame! What do you mean?
I'm just showing Rory off. Don't you lie to me! I know all about your using Gary
to steal money! I am doing nothing of the sort! Don't you have work
you should be doing? Oh, that's rich! No, if I was rich, I wouldn't have to hire
the likes of you! That's hurtful, Mr. Krabs,
and you know it. Why you little yella-
Well, I never. You never what?
Learned to use decent language? [screaming] [arguing] Who do you think you are? Jackpot! Money, money, money, money,
money, money, money! Come to papa! Oh, boy. [beeping] Yeah, he's in pretty bad shape
with the impact of all that metal,
but he'll pull through. Oh, no, the prison is full. Looks like we'll just have
to set you free. [gasping]
Free? But he's a criminal. Well, you know what they say. Don't stop the crime,
if you can't enforce the time. [laughing] Eat it, Krabs.
I'm off to reoffend. [laughing] It's a shame that there's
no other place in Bikini Bottom to hold our extra criminals. 'Cause we'd give that place
a lot of money. [laughing]
Ya got yourself a deal. We can lock him up at my place,
the Krusty Krab. Well, then,
this is for the prisoner. And here's your your cash. [gasping] Whoa.
Ooh, ooh, ooh. Thank you, madam officer. [groaning] Gee, I wonder
what Mr. Krabs has been up to since I saw him last and
then went home to do nothing of particular interest
till this very moment. Huh? [hammering] SpongeBob! You're just in time for the grand unveiling
of Krabby Land! Krabby Land, sir? Yes, Krabby Land! Where a kid can have fun...
for the right price. [laughing] Welcome to the Krusty Krab,
young man. What's your name? - Monroe.
- Nice to meet you, Monroe. [laughing]
- Whee! Mmm... a-ha!
[change rattling] Okay, money.
I mean, err... children. It's time
for the grand unveiling of... money! I mean, Krabby Land! [cheering] Okay, kids,
now promise Uncle Krabs that if you get hungry
while you're playing, you'll come inside for some delicious,
nutritious Krabby Patties. We promise. All right, here we go! I give you... Krabby Land! Yeah! Whoa!
Ooh, where am I? Eh... that reminds me.
I forgot to give you these coloring books/
liability waivers! Everyone who hands theirs back
gets to meet the one and only Krabby the Clown! Yay! Have fun. And don't forget
to eat plenty of vitamin-enriched
Krabby Patties. Krabby the Clown's
favorite meal. We want Krabby! We want Krabby! Where is Krabby, Mr. Krabs? He'll be here
after I count their money. Just stall 'em. Stall 'em? How do I do that? I don't know. Be entertaining. [whistling]
Nice work, boy-o. Very prison-y. Hey, uh, what's
with all the caged men in here? They're making me
a little nervous. Oh. Uh, well, we were
a prison-themed restaurant now. Do your time
with our new Prison Patties. It served in a solitary
confinement box, has its own prisoner number, and even comes
with a toy shackles. Wow. Looks delicious. That's right.
At the Krusty Krab, you can lock up your hungry
and throw away the keys. [cheering] Ooh. Crises averted. Okay, time to let Plankton
out of the hole. Open her up, boy-o. [grunting] Hmm. Pull yourself together,
prisoner. I got a new cell for you. The formula?
It's so close. I can almost touch it.
No! No! No! [laughing]
Good times. Good times. <i> This week I reviewed
the Krusty Krab restaurant,</i> <i> a local burger joint
that's second to none.</i> <i> Or should I say second to "run"</i> <i> since this critic wanted
to make like a banana</i> <i> and peel out the minute he saw
how drab this Krab really was.</i> <i> That bad, huh, Gene?</i> <i> Barbara, once I stuck
my beak through that door,</i> <i> my appetite flew south
for the winter.</i> <i> I mean, I'm not "kidding"</i> <i> when I say
this restaurant smells</i> <i> like the rear-end of a goat.</i> <i> And how was the service, Gene?</i> <i> You could find livelier help
in a graveyard</i> <i> and I'm not just "coffin."</i> <i> The management stunk so bad,</i> <i> I had to get my sweater
dry cleaned on the way home</i> <i> with me in it.</i> Hey, no, wait, wait! <i> However, at the end of my visi,</i> <i> I chowed down on a meal
that titillated my taste buds</i> <i> and gratified my gullet.</i> <i> That Sponge behind the grill is
no square</i> <i> when it comes to cooking!</i> <i> If Krabs really wanted
to soak up the dough,</i> <i> he'd Sponge it up.
He'd Sponge it out,</i> <i> he'd over-Sponge it.</i> <i> You can never have
too much Sponge.</i> Well back to work. [laughing]
That's me boy, SpongeBob. That's me boy. [chinging] La, la, la, la, la, la! Wow. Okay, a little lower,
lower... that's perfect. Good morning, sir.
What's with the sign? Oh, just making
a few cosmetic changes. Oh. You mean like when Squidward
got that mole taken of his- Umm... yeah,
a little bit like that. Morning, Squidward. Ooh! Squidward,
where did you find those shoes? [squeaking, hissing] Look, it's him! Mr. SquarePants,
can I have your autograph? - No.
- But, why? Well, the first reason is,
I have no use of my arms, see? Ow! Hey, what's going on over here? He hit me just 'cause I wanted
his autograph. Squidward!
I'm sorry, little girl. Of course you can have
his autograph... for five bucks. What a rip. Oh! Oh! Oh! Ooh, morning, officer. I'm here to oversee
Plankton's release. His sentence is up. What? But I have so many more
punishments for him. [laughing] Enjoy your Plankton free prison,
Eugene. I hope it's worth
what you're paying for it. [laughing] Paying for it?
Wonder what he means by that. Huh? [yawning] [snoring] [screaming] More marshmallows
for your hot cocoa, Wobbles? SpongeBob, what are you doing?! Do you have any idea
how much it costs to make a prison humane? These down comforters,
they're two ply. This ain't no luxury hotel! These televisions ain't free! And neither are
these massage chairs! [crying] And this, your most expensive
mistake of all! From now on, no more patties
for prisoners! Cruel and unusual punishment! And no more tomatoes either! Come on, let's find
another prison to eat at. - What a rip-off!
- Come on. No, no! Come back! Come back! I can't afford to lose
me paying customers. Oh, I'm ruined! [sobbing] All right, that's it! No more prison! Everyone out! Don't care where you go,
but you can't stay here! Oh, finally.
The Krusty Krab is back to being a regular old
money-making restaurant. [giggles]
Problem solved. I said problem solved! Step right up, folks! Take a ride
on the Krusty Sponge Fun Train. Tickets are only $1.98.
Seat belts not included. [cheering] Okay,
how am I going do this now? Mommy, is that you? [panting] Mr. Krabs, I really think
I should be getting back to the grill, now. Are you kidding, lad? Just look
at these paying customers! Who's ready for another lap? [cheering] Why aren't these walking wallets
spending money? Because they're too busy
watching SpongeBob cook. What? [whistling] He's not exactly maxermerizing
his work time with them flourishes, but boy,
does that boy-o have talent. And talent equals money. [screaming] [vocalizing] [shattering] I have X-ray vision!
I can see through walls! Calm your waters, lad.
I just knocked it down. [jibbering]
Why'd you do that? In the restaurant business,
it's called an open kitchen so the customers can watch
the cook cook. Oh, Mr. Krabs, I don't know if I can take
that kind of pressure. Nonsense.
You're a born performer. Oh, what do I do? What do I do?
Huh? Oh! Uh. Uh. Hi, everybody! Who's hungry? I guess I am. Welcome, welcome to my job
in the kitchen of ChefBob! I cook and dance,
I wear square pants, cooking for this hungry mob! <i> ♪ Your order, please! ♪</i> [dinging] [cheering] The little ChefBob is
a sensation. See anything you like? Yeah, I'll give you
a buck-50 for this umbrella. A buck-50 for that?
But it's an antique! It belonged to a queen.
Ten bucks. Ten bucks? It's full of holes! It was the queen
of Switzerland. A queen you say?
That's... Wait a second... they don't have a queen. Okay, Mr. Bargain Hunter,
five bucks. Deal! Ah, the sweet smell
of an all-day sucker. [slurping] They taste even better.
Hi, Mr. Krabs. What ya doing? I'm having an antique sale.
Have a look around. Hey, Patrick,
look at this thing. Pretty cool, huh? That looks like
the toilet plunger I threw out yesterday. That ain't no toilet plunger.
This here's an antique! It's, um... uh...
a 17th-century soup ladle, see? Man, was I using mine wrong.
How much? Five bucks. - I only have seven.
- Deal. Patrick Star,
you are one smart shopper. Wow! Look at this neat-o
soda-drinking hat. [gasping] It must've belonged
to someone who was number one. There's only been
a handful of number ones in the history of forever. That's right, SpongeBob,
and you're one of 'em. Really? This hat says,
"Hey, I'm number one, and I let gravity do
my drinking." This hat was made for you, boy.
You were born to wear this hat. Eeh.... ooh...! Ooh. Wow. <i> ♪ Hey, there, mister,
Would you like to know ♪</i> <i> ♪ About a very special
Something ♪</i> <i> ♪ That makes all your problems
Go away? ♪</i> - What is it?
- It's Everything Juice. What? <i> ♪ Hey, there, madam
Can I help you out? ♪</i> <i> ♪ With those false teeth
Of yours ♪</i> <i> ♪ It must be very hard
To shout hooray ♪</i> <i> ♪ For Everything Juice ♪</i> <i> ♪ Can it make my voice sound
Much more creepy? ♪</i> Probably! <i> ♪ Will it fix the smell
Of my pet Kiki? ♪</i> -<i> ♪ Buy it and see! ♪</i>
- Indeed! <i> ♪ Hey, there, son
Looks like you might need ♪</i> <i> ♪ To find
Some slickening solution ♪</i> <i> ♪ So your marbles can get
Up to speed today ♪</i> <i> ♪ Try Everything Juice! ♪</i> <i> ♪ Pardon me
But I see you chose ♪</i> <i> ♪ Not to trim
That rather lengthy hair ♪</i> <i> ♪ Protruding from your nose
But that's okay ♪</i> <i> ♪ With Everything Juice ♪</i> <i> ♪ How much does it cost? ♪</i> Quite a lot! I don't care.
Give me everything you've got! <i> ♪ Yes, my friends ♪
This is the greatest stuff ♪</i> <i> ♪ It's a wonder, it's a miracle
You just can't have enough ♪</i> <i> ♪ So we say hey, get some today
There's no excuse ♪</i> <i> ♪ Everyone needs
Everything Juice ♪</i> [laughing, cheering] Excuse me, sir, but are you the purveyor
of this curio stand? Yes, I am. I understand you're selling
this rare novelty drink hat. Fresh out. Let me explain. I'm prepared to give you $500
for that drink hat. Fi-fi-fi-fi-fi-... Not so fast. I'll give you $1000
for such a hat. [stammering] I'll give you $100,000,
in cash, for said hat. Sir, I'll give you
a million dollars for that hat! Ahoy there, matey. Can I help you gentlemen
with somethin'? -I'd like to speak to the owner.
- Who wants to know? Allow me to introduce myself.
Howard Blandy: President of the Blandy
Franchising Company. Howard Blandy?
You mean the Howard Blandy? The Howard Blandy
that masterminded the ruthless takeover of every
small family owned business in Bikini Bottom?
That Howard Blandy? I... worship you.
[crying] Get it together, little man. Sorry, it's just that...
you're rich. [laughing] I'm Mr. Krabs.
To what do I owe the honor of having you
at the Krusty Krab, Howard? What would it take
to buy the Krusty Krab from you? Buy the Krusty Krab?
It's not for sale. You know, I may not make as much as your fancy-schmancy-migger
restaurant chain, but it's the blood,
sweat and tears of a hard day's work.
It's not about the mon- Holy sweet mother of pearl! I like the way you think,
Blandy. But it's gonna take a lot more
than a suitcase full of cash to buy the Krusty Krab from me. Oh, there's a lot more
than that. The rest is over there. Jumpin' King Neptune!
[gulping] Sold. Give me my money. Just one thing.
If you can sign this contract. It just states that
you relinquish the Krusty Krab and all proprietary ownership
thereof. Along with its employees,
merchandise, logos, and cash registers. Do I still get the money? - Of course.
- That'll be fine then. Here you go.
Now, gimme gimme gimme gimme. Whoo-ha! See ya around. What's happening?
Mr. Krabs! Mr. Krabs,
they're putting up pennants in the Krusty Krab.
What's goin' on? I'm retirin'! Retiring? I'm free to do whatever I want. I can learn
how to ride that bicycle I got 30 years ago. Or, go to the new
hook museum downtown. Or even paint bowls of fruit.
Aren't ya happy for me? I sure am. So long, boys. Have fun, Mr. Krabs.
[crying] Heaven knows I won't. Oh, ahoy, SpongeBob. I was just using
some old toothpaste I found to patch up
this small hole in the wall. Good thing you didn't hire
a professional to do that. And why is that, Mr. Squidward? Because then you'd only get
to repair it once. So what flavor is it? It- It- It's just a hole
in the wall, boy. It doesn't have a flavor. No, I mean the toothpaste. Oh. Well, I think it- Hey, look, Mr. Krabs. That small hole in the wall
just became a medium sized hole in the wall. Time to get out
the dental floss. Heh. Thanks again for taking us
to the Krusty Krab, Dad. Yeah. Mom never brings us here. Anytime, kids. - What the-?
- Careful now. Hey, you guys put
in a drive thru. - We did?
- Great. I'll have three large
Krabby Patties, Krabby fries, a Krabby cola and two extra
large orders of Krabby rings. Is this toothpaste? Boy, I don't know how
I think of this stuff, but I think I got a winner.
We are putting in a drive thru. [gasping] Sounds like
a lot of extra work to me. You mean for you. It'll cost you money. Oh, nonsense.
We'll build it for free!
