Mortification in Borderline Women, Narcissistic Men: Let Me Go, Give Me Life

my name is Sam Vaknin and I'm the author of malignant self-love narcissism revisited I wrote the book but I haven't read it yet once I do I will tell you what I think about it and about the author right so today we are going to continue to discuss mortification and the false self but this time in borderline women a bit later in the video I will recap and summarize the previous video some of you had who have complained that it was too complicated a bit confusing to academic and that I wasn't wearing my glasses through a part of it which traumatized them so I promise to summarize the previous video in colloquial speech so that everyone can understand it and I will do my best to remember to wear my glasses because the number of casualties is beginning to exceed the number of my subscribers so as I promised today we will discuss the borderline woman who is by many accounts the natural complement to the narcissistic men I always mentioned my friend John Locke Carr who in 1983 wrote the seminal groundbreaking book the borderline narcissistic couple she was a pioneer at that time but today is common wisdom met borderlines a narcissist losses his team up together because they gratify each other's emotional needs they in the language of John Locke card they solve each other's archaic wounds there's a resonance later she renamed it the vsport the vulnerability spot so if the narcissistic men his mortification is subject to modification so should the Porter line woman be why is that because both the narcissistic men and the borderline woman have a false self and both of them have very pronounced grandiosity when I'm moving the laptop because the lighting changes all the time it's a conspiracy of the celestial bodies against my videos supportive enough grandiosity and both another false self if these constructs and these processes and these cognitive deficits are identical then they should undergo similar psychodynamic processes such as mortification and indeed the borderline woman does undergo mortification but before we go there I want to discuss elephants and snakes no I haven't gone out of my mind yet it has something to do with narcissus and borderline and I want to quote from a book called the problem of the prayer I tell moose the problem of the eternal youth by Mary Louise from France I didn't invent listening e and book was published in 1970 it's an amazing book about people mainly men who don't grow up people who remain eternal youth remain children forever refuse to grow up later it was renamed by dying day near by the therapist Dan Kiley he was renamed the Peter Pan syndrome so I want to quote from this book in I mean the problem of the twelve are attempts by Mary Louise from France in antiquity I'm quoting it was thought that elephants were terribly ambitious and that if they were not accorded the honor due them they would die from disappointment for their feeling of honor was so great they had to beyond slags love to drink the cool blood of elephants snakes creep under the elephant and drink its blood suddenly the elephant collapses which is why whenever an elephant sees a snake he goes for it that tries to trample it down in the Middle Ages the elephant stood for a man who was generous but unstable and moody in character for the elephant was said to be generous intelligent and therefore taciturn but when he once gets into range he cannot be appeased by sensual pleasures by but only by music and so she says that she has taken this information from a very amusing book she finds very strange things amusing but ok so she is she says this I have taken from a very amusing book for his toes he believes by Jesuit Father Nicholas Cowsills and in that book I found another sentence that the elephant is perfection except for being Moody and inclined to fits of Rage so here's the elephant unstable rageful in very very hyper-vigilant he is very concerned with the question of is he being properly honored he believes that he is due honor he's due respect and if he doesn't get it he begins to reach and there's a snake who which sucks the elephants called blood I would say that thesis this captures the essence of the narcissist and borderline relationship now as I said in my view the main reason all the lines and gnosis is resonate is because to a very very large extent they are pretty identical for example they have false self but we did mass assist the fourth self yes I took off my glasses warning red alert in the narcissist the false self has many functions and the two most important functions of the false self in the narcissist is number one to serve as a decoy the false self attracts the fire attracts the abuse it is a proxy for the true self it is tough as nails and it can absorb any amount of pain of hurt negative emotions the child invents the false self in order to develop immunity to the indifference manipulation sadism smothering or exploitation in short to the abuse inflicted on him or her by the parents or by other primary objects in the trans life so the false self self is like the invisibility cloak in the Marvel movies it protects a child renders him invisible and omnipotent at the same time it's like a Superman globe which also confers invisibility and in permeability and and renders the chart absolutely immune to pain and to hurt the second function of the fourth century is that the narcissist misrepresents the false self and claims that this is his true self it says is who I really am there's nothing else he says there's only the false self that's me the gnosis is saying in effect I'm not who you think I am I'm someone else I am this false self and therefore I deserve better I deserve a painless more considerate treatment I'm entitled the false self that us is a contraption a device intended to alter other people's behavior an attitude towards the narcissist it's a manipulative tool with some in adaptation in the sense that it allows the narcissus to act upon the environment to be self efficacious to obtain favorable outcomes in other words the narcissist agency in the world is mediated via the phone self but the false self replaces the true self and in this sense the narcissists very early on in his childhood sacrifices himself to the false self someone said in one of the comments that the narcissist is is kind of a hostage of the false self and I said it yesterday in the video and he's very true he's held hostages and prisoners incarcerated by the false self he's incarcerated in a magnificent palace but he still can never leave the palace gradually the narcissist vanishes and what's left behind is this Mirage this fata morgana this facade this concoction or piece of fiction this movie narcissus begins to feel d realised he feels that he's observing himself from outside is depersonalized and he's beginning to be more more dissociative because he there is a disconnect between the narcissist and himself and his ring is true self and this disconnect creates discontinuities in memory which later on translate into a very very disturbed identity and so at some stage the narcissist feels utterly smothered by the false self utterly trampled upon utterly enslaved by the false self and he wants out it's exactly like an abusive relationship the narcissist is not statistically abused by the false self and he wants out and so he seeks modification he seeks the terror of mortification because this terror causes him to disintegrate to fall apart and when he falls apart he doesn't have the energy to maintain the false self he doesn't have the world with all the attention span focuses the the mental the mental energy to obtain narcissistic supply and the false self gradually dissipates fades away so terrorizing the terror of mortification is the narcissist main tool to get rid of the false self if only for a few days a few hours a few minutes just to feel liberated and so on after the modification the narcissus is exposed because because it is the fourth self that forms a shield around the nose it's like a firewall and love of self is Ganon the masochist hope is open to the malware of life is open to abuse is open to be mocked ridiculed humiliated exploited his gullible remember is a child is nine to eleven is all the false self or text said narcissist his very important functions and so immediately after the mortification when the false self is disabled kind of the narcissist hurries even though he feels good with the newly acquired freedom he's terrorized he's in a panic state it's realistic without this Big Daddy without his godlike figure that he's protecting him so he hurries to re-establish the forces and he does this by idealizing in punishing this self or by devaluing and punishing the other let me explain one way is to idealize the the person or the situation or the discovery that caused the modification to say that person is all good yes he addressed against me but he's all good this situation was actually good for me it's also idealizing re idealizing actually the source of the notification while punishing oneself and the other method is devaluing the source of the pontifical in punishing the other they will come to it a bit late I said earlier that the borderline patient also has a false self but the functions of the false self in the borderline personality disorder patient he is utterly he utterly unconscious connected unconnected to the functions in the narcissist the structure is the same is the same it's a god like its divinity it has all the attributes of a Godhead of a deity it is omnipotent is omniscient it is perfect it is brilliant and so on so forth exactly like the gnosis is for self or lowing all-powerful perfection itself brilliant Sree fun but the fourth self in the borderline is a different function the function is the equivalent of a host personality in dissociative identity disorder I recommend to you to watch the series I've made about borderline women there are four videos in this series and there I explain actually today we are reconceiving of borderline personality disorder as a combination dissociation or dissociative disorder and secondary psychopathy but then we think it's a confluence of these two disorders and so the dissociative part dissociative identity disorder used to be called before once used to be called multiple personalities and in multiple personality disorder we have a central personality central fragment of personality huge it's called the host personality and many other personalities which are called altars altars they're like alternative personalities so the host personality moderates these other personalities moderates the alters he moderates the internal between these altars which is totally unconscious and also he gives cues he gives signals he else he switches between the various personalities so there's a personality that tackles difficult situations personality that is sexy personality that is a child it's on and so in the host personality is like a moderator and like in a presidential debate you know okay you can talk now okay you can go and and then there's a process called switching the person with a multiple personality disorder with a dissociative identity disorder switches between personalities which are very distinct and very very clear now the fourth self in the borderline patient maintains the same function as the host personality in dissociative identity disorder the host the false self and borderline moderates and switches between self states now border lines don't have full-fledged personalities they are not exactly like people with multiple personality so borderline patients don't suddenly become someone completely different they don't become suddenly a child suddenly a woman will certainly in old men suddenly you know a painter or whatever they don't switch between utterly distinct demarcated personalities but they switch between what we call self states each self state is clearly different to others so we have like variations in the basic personality of the borderline which are sufficiently big the variations are sufficiently big to say that the borderline is transition his transition to another thing so it's like the borderline instead of many personalities has many cells in mediating and moderating and switching between these selves between these self states is a central core in this central core in the borderline is the for self and in most in most cases in most cases the host personality the false self in the borderline his many features of a secondary psychopath so it would be defined be impulsive it would be a bit aggressive it would be a dissipating and souls of all so there is this core which is essentially a secondary psychopath moderating a whole kindergarden of self-states and switching between them according to circumstances and according to internal dynamics in this core this force self also regulates the resulting defense mechanisms this each time the borderline switches from one self state to another she provokes or she evokes an elicit certain infantile defense mechanisms sometimes its repression sometimes it's dissociation sometimes denial splitting and other infantile defenses and the borderline is doing this because she needs to maintain self constancy evocative concerns amen she to do this she needs the host personality to regulate and to control everything to micromanage everything this switching the self states then defenses and to cohere them to put them together in in a coherent cohesive narrative that makes sense so the borderline is offering her life as she goes along it's like she is writing a short story or a novel in which he is the protagonist while the narcissist his problems with object constancy in other words the narcissus finds it very difficult to maintain a clear distinction between an external object and an internal object and when the external object is gone the narcissist resorts to the internal object just in order to maintain the belief that the external object is some existence the borderline is the same thing but that is not the crucial problem of the borderline that is the problem all of our partners of our intimate bodies let me try to explain again this is a very very complex and difficult issues in the cutting edge the bleeding edge of Psychology Today so I apologize if it's very difficult to get these things clear when I first go and I have to repeat myself again and again in a desperate attempt to make sense to you and of course to Minny let me try again both the narcissist and the borderline have problems with object constancy object permanence and this problem is known as object in constancy creatively soft object in constancy simply means out of sight out of mind when the narcissist doesn't see someone when that person is not in the presence of the Nazi physical presence not mental the narcissist able to conceptualize that person so when that person is away the Nazis is kind of not convinced that the person who is away still exists so the Masters in solution is to take a snapshot of that person and when the person is way to interact with the snap the borderline is an identical drop out of sight out of mind she doesn't see the person even her intimate partner spouse children she doesn't see the person he or she doesn't exist she finds it very difficult to maintain the continued of external objects around her if she doesn't feel them and touches them and shouted them and argues with a mixed loved limb of something she is not fully convinced that they exist but while the narcissist the narcissist solution is a snapshot of the external object with which he continues the interaction when the external object is away the borderline solution to object inconstancy is simply to forget about the object about the external narcissist out of sight out of mind so now I will interact with a snapshot of that external object who is gone borderline out of sight out of mind out of existence his gun is dead end of story I am free I am alone I can do whatever I want which would explain of course many port light behaviors reckless behaviour impulsive behaviors the borderline knows cognitively cognitively that when she cheats on her husband it's gonna hurt him a lot it's gonna devastate him maybe it's gonna cause trauma for life an example but he's not with her at that moment he's not sitting next to her is at home and so in the borderlines mind he doesn't exist even worse she may perceive it as abandonment and rejection that is not with her but at the very least it hasn't exists so she feels that she is free and alone she's single she can be with that other men she's not really cheating on her husband because as the husband why does no husband he's not sitting next to her she cannot touch him in extreme cases borderlines carry with them objects the belonged to it to to loved ones or to significant others and when they feel that they are losing object inconstancy they touched these objects it's a little like psychic mediums you know when you go to a medium psychic medium she tells you did you bring me a handkerchief of your daughter etc so it's like through the object through the handkerchief through the I don't know what it's a souvenir it's a trophy serial killers have this as well they take trophies from their victims this is a trophy Raiffeisen symbolizes the victim and this whole psychological process is known as cynic dog so borderlines and narcissus have difficulty to move smoothly and continuously from one minute to the other because people go out of the room habitually people go out of rooms into rooms away back on business meeting something and this ruins completely the continuity and consequently the conscious consciousness of narcissism borderlines only the borderline doesn't care in the core of the borderline there's a secondary psychopath and that secondary psychopath regulates her internal environment it is her fault self and they secondary Psychopaths is very defensive and very protective of the borderline and will not let anyone in anything hurt the boundary line so in the case of the borderline and mortification has different consequences let me define again what is motivation modification is an extreme an intolerable painful form of shame induced traumatic depressive anxiety when you humiliated when you are ashamed when you are shamed disgraced in public your force for a brief moment to see yourself as other people see you and these people a host I'm not your friends otherwise you would not be shaped if you are healthy you have your own internal equilibrium internal balance some from your studies you you know you know who you are you know your limitations you know good size your bed size and nothing much from the outside is any real if a long term effect but what if you depend crucially on outside input on feedback from the outside from others on other people's gaze what if you regulate everything your moods your emotions your sense of self-worth yourself a stick everything self-confident everything you regulate your shame on your cognitions your everything you regulate by resorting to feedback from other people then they become supercritical it's dangerous if these people are hostile it's dangerous for your internal peace for your inner peace for your ability to function so multiplication as we will discuss a bit later is very dangerous to the to the narcissists I would even say in many many cases life-threatening the goal with borderline it's a bit of a different picture the nurse this is six modification to be able to get rid of the false self for a split second what is modified it's extremely painful it hurts he wants to die but at the same time he is finally himself it doesn't last long because immediately the narcissist tries to re-establish the false self but it lost it can last even months up to you up to a year with all the force ever imagined this scar tissue taken away all the scabs up reopened masses bleeds profusely it's a death sentence but the nurses is still six modification because together with the death sentence it's also a life sentence he finally feels true to himself for the first time for the second time whenever this modification he feels himself not the outcome of multiple gazes of 100 people his mind the mind of the narcissist is a hive mind it's like a beehive input from it from this person judgment by this person opinion of that person feedback from this woman input from that man I mean he puts all of this together he makes collages he makes kaleidoscopic collages of all this constant stream of narcissistic supply and based on this he reconstructs himself time and again him again and again he reinvents himself and reconstructs himself he vanishes and reappears vanishes and reappears vanishes reappears is absolutely dizzying not not to say no z80 and so it's very hard work to be a narcissist is very energy depleting no other most of them are depressed anxious and it's very liberating this freedom from the false self no matter how brief and only mortification affords this freedom and that's why gnosis is seeking borderlines on the other have a different reason to seek mortification they pursue mortification in order to feel alive not free like the narcissist alive the borderline patient has a psychopathic or secondary psychopathic or she needs to introduce novelty she's a novelty see she she won't she is addicted to thrills she's an adrenaline junkie she's reckless she's a risk-taker and she all the time destabilizes her life by engaging in or engendering chaotic drama she's a drama queen and the reason she's drama queen because only drama guarantees novelty thrill risk recklessness or is her way the borderlines way of gratifying was satisfying the needs of the inner psychopath the inner secondary tsukuba and so that's why she's so dramatic but and and that's the only way she she can experience transformation and so mortification is the ultimate form of drama in a mortification State borderline patient is confronted with the truth about herself her vulnerability her weakness her fragility her to take the constant danger she's in to disintegrate and harm herself borderline the suicidal and the very least they serve Italy many of them not all of them many of them so mortification is the borderlines way of feeling alive it's a form of self-mutilation if you think about it because it's humiliating it's insulting its its confrontational it's dangerous is frightening there's austerity in the air a lot of hatred is shame these are negative emotions she brings it upon herself and that that's equivalent of self-mutilation but she does that in order to create drama to experience transformation it's the only method open to her and sometimes she uses mortification as a form of self strategy self punishment and that's also a kind of serve methylation modification in borderlines is self-inflicted and it is self-inflicted because the borderline constantly anticipates abandonment and rejection many borderlines are terrified of abandonment and rejection they have abandonment anxiety of separation anxiety or loss anxiety but some of them alone are not anxious about this but all of them without a single exception anticipate predict that they are going to be abandoned gonna be rejected important things are going to be withheld from them and and ultimately they're going to be they're going to suffer through this process of separation and the borderline copes with more tips with with this anticipatory abandonment with this and with this fear or anxiety or prediction that abandonment and rejection are about to happen one of the ways is a borderline copes with it is by inflicting mortification on the self so when she's mortified she is effectively abandoned because what his motivation is when you are humiliated when you're ashamed when you're disgrace when you are addressed when some of the graces against you when you are in a hostile environment or when you will realize things about yourself which are utterly unacceptable and if you realize it and others realize it they will abandon you etc etc so notification is a form of self inflicted preemptively bamboos and the Port alignments type of modification is different to the narcissist the narcissist modification is 99% cognitive last this is totally self aware totally fair in the situation monitors absorbs and remembers every single moment every insult every humiliation every shameful incident every disgrace infil emitted and inflicted upon him every is and he keeps regurgitating it keeps ruminating it becomes utter total total obsession with a borderline is different she wants to feel alive she also anticipates abandonment she creates mortification for example she misbehaves egregious you're horrible how do you behave this way you know it is a punishment and so so she creates mortification visually she brings upon herself mortification then she feels alive because modification always entails drama always entails chaos thrills risk so she feels alive but she realizes it because she had inflicted mortification upon herself she's about to be abandoned so this pre-emptive abandonment there she abandons and then she dissociates she cuts off the memory she becomes dissociative what is to dissociate the Socialists is to disappear so once she is mortified the borderline chooses to disappear but some water lines instead of dissociative there by disappearing become total secondary segments what is to be a psychopath it's to make other people disappear by mistreating them and they go away by killing them or something one way or another you make people disappear so the borderline once she's modified chooses one of two one of two runs one of two forks in the road either she disappeared she dissociates she's gone my body or she makes people disappear by abusing them extremely psychopathically decent perfectly horribly causing world that can never be mended and can never be fix disappearance the disappearing act is at the core of the borderline first she disappears as a personality she's fragmented she's fractured she's disorganized and chaotic that's why kernberg uses the term borderline to describe a near psychotic state and then she then other people disappear because she has no object constancy in when they are not next to her she has no one she's all the time throughout her life alone exist tension you know so logistical you know and then she creates modification and then either she disappears via dissociation or she makes other people disappear by a psychopathic behavior disappearance it's the core behavior in the main light motif of of borderline while in narcissism presence is the core motif the core likeness Nasus is one to be to to present present too much they want to be uber per present they want to force all other people to vanish by merging with them they treat all other people as extensions of themselves they want to be in other words only present like God everywhere the border line is exactly oh she wants to not be that's why 11% of border lines 10 to 11% committed suicide the border lines main preoccupation is to not be the narcissist main preoccupation is to be too much the Nazis as an ideal fantastic and grandiose view of his self we all know this and when an aggressive person challenges this view in losses it feels like he is disintegrating and it's a state of terror there's a famous painting by Salvador Dali Galatea where you see there's a painting of a beautiful woman but the back part of her skull is disintegrating into molecules sort of evaporating into thin air that's a narcissist when it when is challenged either by an aggressive person from the outside or by some realization from the inside to come to it but when he's challenged by an aggressiveness he feels like he is disintegrating it's a state of Terror this he once sort of to collect the molecules put them back together but but in all over the place is if it's shortly nothing will be left of him and that his external mortification similarly when the gnosis is realizes that his grandiose fantastic ideal view of his self is totally wrong for example if he realizes that his mentally ill or somehow deficient or limited he reacts exactly the same way he feels that he's disintegrating into molecules he's that he's being optimized but this is internal mortification so external mortification is caused by an aggressive person internal modification by an inner realization of deficiency of lack of shortcut and of course in both cases the continuty is stability the coherence and the well-being of the self are utterly compromised totally compromised it's a very very bad feeling modification reflects the activity of infantile strategies of coping with frustration under gnosis and the borderline were babies they developed like all babies strategies of coping with frustration mommy doesn't want to breastfeed me it's very frustrating where's my toy I can't put my my big toe in my mouth you know babies go through horrible frustrations the likes of which adults can only imagine and so they develop coping strategies to cope with frustration and to also cope with repression there is a lot of material first of all there's an avalanche of information I mean the baby is besieged by ginormous humongous amounts of data and his brain is growing like mushrooms I mean and so the big part of it has to be repressed and baby has to learn the main skill the baby learns is what to ignore not what was simulate but what we ignore and this is called repression but babies cope with repression and with frustration the borderline in the narcissist developed a dysfunctional coping strategy grandiosity for example and they have also defense mechanisms that never disappear while in healthy people normal people many defense mechanisms stop operating are disabled it's about age to once once you become an individual once you separate from your parents and you become your own your own man or woman your own girl and boy your own toddler you're on you have your own individual your own individuality separate distinct utterly cut off demarcated from mommy and puppy especially for mother many defense mechanisms become become a necessary for example magical thinking or splitting they're no longer necessary so they die away not so with the borderline of neurosis is because the borderline master sees failed to separate from mother and cannot become do not become individuals as all these defense mechanisms continue to work well into into adulthood and when we look at these people our initial reaction is volatile so childish yes right the childish the infant on another hood a self-inflicted internal mortification usually is used to compensate for an external mortification or in the very least to disguise it and an external notification is used to compensate for an internal notification or at the very least to disguise let me give give an example but before that yet another reminder forgive me for repeating so much it will clearly find the material very difficult to digest and its new material is perfectly understandable external modification usually when an aggressive person or group of people attack you challenge you humiliate you shame you disgrace you mock you ridicule you etc etc that grace external divination internal modification when the narcissist of the borderline are exposed to insight insight with the tea realization some understanding when they suddenly see themselves in the mirror they say I am NOT fun I am NOT grandiose I'm not brilliant a more perfect and thoughtful perfect and I'm definitely not omniscient and manipulate that is shocking it's like you would look at the mirror and you would see someone else's face it's as shocking as this as shocking as it is this there's a syndrome called the cop cross syndrome in psychology where people mistake their loved ones for other people so they a husband would look at his wife from you see another woman it's absolutely breathtakingly terrifying it's the stuff of horror movies and the novices go through this many times and this is internal mortification so when this internal notification lapses cannot cope with it and he comes up with external mortification and when there's external equally he cannot cope with it he comes up with internal notification generally Gnosticism psycho in borderlines became narcissists immortalized because they're weak constitutionally weak is a genetically or for some other reason they're fragile are they vulnerable they're damaged or broken and they can't cope the main thing a borderline patient could tell you in therapy I can't cope the main thing and masters will tell you in therapy of course I can call while at the same time clearly clearly displaying total inability to cope so coping is a problem and what these people do borderline snausages instead of coping you know tackling the problem head-on honestly sincerely mature named instead of doing this they confabulate they lie they create substitutes viki's guides they modify they hide they reframe they they're playing games game the whole thing is a game that's why the nurse is looking for a playmate the whole thing is a moving it's not real derealization depersonalization many many more lines described the their lives is autopilot they strengthen sources observers and spectators it's a theater show so clearly they can't cope external notification or interment if it's too much for them so they compensate they disguise when there is internal motive mortification they will use external motive modification to discuss they will invent like me an external modification to disguise it so for example imagine that someone raided that narcissus realizes that he is evil that is evil simply he is hateful his cantankerous is unpleasant he is obnoxious he is mean and nasty etc in other words typical gnosis imagined not such realizes this but I mean realizes this not just knows it knows it cognitively not just having been told this but suddenly from the inside there's an insight cognition coupled with the equivalent of emotion narcissus oh my God if he's religious oh my god I'm bloody evil I'm hateful what have I been doing to people all my life that's internal modification but he can't cope with it so what he does instead he replaces it with an external motive modification so he would he would say well maybe I am hateful maybe I'm obnoxious maybe I'm aggressive maybe I'm unpleasant but it's because people hate me they make me do it they make me misbehave hey they don't love me they conspire against me they undermine me they treat me unjustly in other words a persecutory delusion paranoid delusion a conspiracy theory which is an external modification replaces the truth I am even I'm obnoxious which is an internal modification and vice-versa the narcissus is an external multiplication yes for example he's been shamed humiliated disgraced in public he can't cope with it so he would create an artificial internal mortification to cover up for it he would say yeah well maybe my wife cheated on me which is an external notification but it is all my fault I made it happen in other words I'm in control which is an internal mortification the internal multiplication is I'm bad because I'm bad I drove her to cheat on me the external modification is she cheated on me two million when there is external motivation the Masters prefer the internal when there is internal multiplication he would prefer the external and the need to reframe narcissistic modifications is because the modification threatens the integrity of the self the

Channel: Prof. Sam Vaknin

Views: 101,808

Keywords: narcissist, borderline, mortification, shock, shame, guilt, fear, personality, false self, true self, grandiosity, splitting, needs, cheating, intimate partner, relationships, terror, anxiety, morals, empathy, healing, trauma, self awareness

Id: y6V6tM0vkMc

Length: 48min 47sec (2927 seconds)

Published: Sat May 09 2020