Mooji on Forgiveness
"Let It Go and Be Free" 17 November 2021
(with subtitles) [Questioner] I want to ask you ...
It's more things, actually. [Q.] One thing is forgiveness.
[Mooji] Yes. [Q.] I feel that
I have got stuck there somewhere. [Mooji] Yes.
[Q.] Very stuck. Very ... [Mooji] Forgiveness is difficult
if you focus on 'other'. Forgiveness [Mooji] is doing yourself a favour.
[Q.] Yes. [Mooji] Because if you feel that
you hold something, strong feelings against someone, be sure that
you are overlooking your own self, that some way to cherish or to nurture, or to keep feelings of unforgiveness, or judgements, or whatever, is already damaging your house. It does, it does. And, almost always,
it's a kind of negative subjectivity, meaning that we are judging
on the basis of some ... Just a feeling, or like this, no? It doesn't mean that
someone cannot do something that is really distasteful, or wrong,
or unjust towards you. It is you who determines that
you wish to forgive. You wish to forgive something [M.] because you don't want
to carry the burden of it. Do you understand? [M.] It doesn't mean that
it makes everything right. It just means, 'I make it right in my heart that
this thing takes place. Maybe I have no power to change, or even to speak to someone or another party,
or whatever, about it. But I make it right with God in my heart. I say, OK, if there is something that
can be done to change this, I will ... Please open my heart to a deeper seeing
that I may get beyond this.' Because that's what it really means, also,
to get beyond something, and to return to your spaciousness. Because for everyone, whatever your problem, the way it's been experienced is solved through
returning to your spaciousness. Everyone is suffering
from the claustrophobia of being. It's like, somehow, a problem,
something unsolved, a pain, is taking up spiritual gigabytes in your being.
It's like, 'Urgh!' And you don't know
how contaminated you become. You find yourself unable
to even wish an innocent person well because you're too contaminated
with these feelings. And yet, like this, [clicks]
you can begin to let go of them. Not trying to look and say,
'But the person is still wrong, they didn't apologise,
they didn't explain', and so on. Well, you'll have to
live with life like that, a lot! Supposing, also, someone hurts you, you're hurt by someone,
or you even hurt someone, and you're not able to see them again. Suppose they leave their body,
what are you going to do? Suppose you feel hurt by someone, or you've hurt someone,
and you cannot meet them to say, 'Look, man, I don't know,
I've just carried this thing for so long, I'm just so happy to see you
so I can tell you, I'm so sorry for what happened. I don't know quite what happened, but I really want to apologise because I know
something I said or did may have hurt you, and something you said hurt me. But I've known you
in a much deeper way than this, I know you're not about this, and I'm not prepared
to hold that shape of you in my heart anymore because that's not true of you. There are greater truths in you,
and I want to honour that, and I wish to let that go.' But suppose they are not there physically,
what are you going to do? Then you must let it go to the grace of the Self,
to the grace of God. But if you can meet, and say, 'I would love to have the chance to just have a few words with you and to straighten some things out.'
And say, 'It's life!' No life is so perfect, personally. We're going to even find people who feel hurt
by just the fact that you exist! You just cannot put everything right. But you can begin
to put yourself in the place to say, 'Whatever it is, I see that
life is just full of so much inconsistency'. How are you going to put all of life right? You have to start
with your own heart about it. Because it's you, it's eating at you. So, although it bites,
it bites more holding onto it. Make a step and say, 'It hurts, something is hurting inside,
I wish to be free of it'. I gave a little exercise some while ago, where I was sharing with people about just saying, 'Thank you'.
Just, 'Thank you'. I said, It's one of the greatest mantras,
'Thank you'. Start to just say, 'Thank you,
thank you, thank you', with meaning. Some people say, 'Thank you for what?' Some people say, 'What should I say thank you for?
What has life given me?' I said, Man, you are lost! Never mind! Just imagine everyone in the world
has been cursing you! I'm going to show you something. By yourself, unto yourself,
just start to say, 'Thank you'. If you can't think what for,
just start with saying, 'Thank you'. 'Thank you, thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you.' And maybe you'll start to feel, 'Thank you that I'm able to say, ''Thank you''.' 'Thank you that I'm alive and healthy enough.' 'I still have one leg, thank you.
I could have lost two.' 'Thank you, thank you that my mind is ... That I can still think for myself,
thank you, thank you.' Say, 'Thank you, thank you, thank you'. And, you know,
it is one of the most popular videos because so many people are listening,
and so many people say, 'Actually, it changed the vibration inside, I didn't realise I'm hanging on to something', like you feel justified in being miserable. And just say,
'Thank you, thank you, thank you'. [Mooji] Like this, [hands in prayer]
'Thank you, thank you, thank you'. Simple things. I don't want to give you seven steps to freedom.
Simple things. Say, 'Thank you, thank you, thank you'. Because what do we gain
by holding onto a pain that sometimes was not even intended?
We don't know. And even if it was intended! Take the example from Jesus. He said, 'Father, forgive them, because they don't know what they're doing'.
Who can say it like that? They say,
'No, they did know what they were doing!' [Mooji] I hear this voice a lot! [Mooji] I heard someone say,
a bit of a tough guy, he said, 'Yes, there are two reasons
why I don't trust people'. He said, 'There are two reasons
why I don't trust people. One: That I don't know them. And the second reason: I know them!' If you have this kind of mentality,
where are you going to go? [laughter] It means you have a lockdown situation. 'I meet you, I already don't trust you, man. So you have it on your lap
to make me trust you.' [Mooji] That is a very poor stance. Your freedom matters! Your freedom matters. And many times we are hurt by things, very often by things we've misunderstood. Misunderstanding happens.
The nature of life is like that. If you're going to spend your time
trying to correct life everywhere, you have no time for yourself. Right where you are, you can begin to say,
'Yes, it hurts, it hurts! I want, no, choose.
I choose, not I want to let it go.' Don't say, 'I want to let it go'.
Say, 'I'm choosing to let it go!' 'Want' is later. 'I want it, later.' 'I choose' is now. Just to let it go. Let go of the shapes
you are holding on to about anything in life. Not just
what people may have done to hurt you, [Mooji] or what you may have conceived of. You don't have to hold any shape. And I tell you,
one of my most simple and powerful pointers is to say to you, Don't take shape! Don't take shape! Because our most powerful exercises are to bring your attention back
to the space of you. When you come back to the space of your Self, beyond objective forms and formulas, this is not there, whatever this is,
it's not there in you. So if something is preventing you,
is holding you into a shape, how can you experience your ... How can you be
in the experience of your natural state? Nothing in life that is phenomenal
has commanded you, 'Thou shalt not forget me'. That is the power of your consciousness! It is self-correcting, self-cleaning,
if you allow. But if you take the shape of a person, you're bound in time, and bound by memories, and bound by actions subjectively perceived. Free yourself. Free yourself! Don't say, 'OK, when I go home'.
No. Free your Self! Free your Self! If you have the kind of mentality that
is an expert at negativity, disarm yourself. But are you willing? [Q.] Yes, yes, yes. [Mooji] Are you choosing, right here with me? [Q.] Yes. [Mooji] I want today to be a possibility
for you to know, what is now! You woke up this morning,
you woke up this morning, and before your first thought, your first thought, your first feelings arose in something that
was already here. So before we start to sail out to sea, check-in what is already here?
What is already so? What is not about a future? And anybody can check-in. What is here? What is 'here' like? What does 'here' need? Just check. Everything else is a story, an intention, a projection, a reminding. The best reminding is always now.
What is here? You know, I so love to share this with you. I so love to, at least,
be present to say this to you, because I'm not directing you somewhere. Go over there! Climb that hill! Get rid of these things! Rather, I'm telling you something,
that which is always present with you. And you say two things:
'I'm afraid to be myself', and at the same time you say,
'I'm yearning for freedom'. I say OK, if you're yearning for freedom, where is freedom until you recognise it? Where is peace until you discover it? Where is it hanging out? Where is love until you discover it?
Where was it? Did you create it? Or did you discover? I'm not talking about a love story.
I'm talking about love. Where was it?
Hiding behind some place? Where was it until you discovered it?
Where was it? Where is freedom? When? Even to make an appointment with freedom
is too late. What is freedom? Show me your chains. [silence] Because I tell you,
this can keep going on and on. With each one of you,
I don't know what is the thing that is still ... Somehow we're protecting something. I don't know what it is. From person to person
it may have a different story, dressed in a different garment. What is appearing to block you,
from where I'm speaking? What is it, and is it worth it? Is it worth it? [Q.] No, it's not worth it. No, it was enough that ...
I feel it was enough, you know. I only want this life to be full,
full, full of life, [Q.] and full of God, fully lived. [Mooji] What's stopping you? [Q.] I don't know. [laughs] [M.] Even to say, 'I want it to be full',
'I want it to be perfect'; make a start.
You say, 'I want it to be perfect'. Maybe it's not going to be
perfect like this, immediately. There's going to be a perfect recognition, and then it's going to take time to stabilise, to get used to being your Self. Don't hold up to great ideals,
'I want this, I want to be high'. No, just make this step! What is this step? I don't even know if it is a step. This is a step that when you take it,
it vanishes, immediately. What is it?
Because even a step I have to try and clarify. The step? I make the step. Where? What about if you don't take even one step? What about just being fully present, and not taking one step
towards anything at all? Just let everything ...
Just let go of everything, and just be fully, fully, fully, as empty and as present as you can be. Is that a hard thing to do? I'm not asking you to clean your house up, and tidy the garden, and sell off your junk. I'm saying, just right now! I know how it can feel,
something is holding ... [groaning sounds] [Mooji] Yes, and? Are you the only one? We all know that. So what is that? Bear it! You're bearing it anyway! Your mind will tell you, 'No, I’m not going to give them the pleasure, I'm not going to give them the pleasure of me forgiving them!' Oooh, what a friend you have! 'I'm not going to give them this opportunity
or let them see me weak.' Who's speaking like that? [Questioner laughs] Yes, it's good, laugh it out, laugh it out. Because it's very, very funnily funny! And it's understandable, up to a point.
It's understandable. But to carry on! You're so much bigger than that. You're so big, you're sizeless. Why let your mind shrink you
into this tiny little peanut on the table. [groans as if wanting to break free] You can do it. I'm not going to put anything
in front of you and say, that's a really difficult one!
It's difficult if you hang on to it. Maybe it may seem impossible
until you are ready. That's how powerful your consciousness is. Don't justify the thing that hurts you. Sometimes we are ourselves ... We hurt ourselves
more than other people hurt us, by holding on and seething over it.
[groans] [Mooji] Yes, now. Step into your now. [Mooji] In the now, nothing sticks. Nothing sticks! I draw a face, the moustache ...
Nothing sticks! [silence] You see, this space is not a talking room, it's not a waiting room; [Mooji] it's a waking room. Live as though you have no time. [Mooji] At least, have no time to waste! And who is harmed by it?
Yes, the people ... [groans] Because your energy field is strong. Even if somebody is in another country,
and you hold resentment; it interferes with their thing. But you, you damage.
Not you. Your real 'you' you don't damage. I'm trying to get you to that place. But your personal self,
which we are living in the instrument, the instrumental self, you clog up your arteries
with this kind of stuff. You want to be free? [strong exhale] Forgive them before they commit a sin. Have this attitude. Live on an attitude of gratitude. I'm not here to give feel-good satsangs. I'm telling you about your Self, how already free you are and can be, but you need to experience it. Because if you set up a hurt base in yourself there are going to be other people
who come and step on it. Just ... It's not that difficult! Just start with, 'I'm not willing
to accept this anymore'. That's it. Later that day Moojibaba continued to reflect more on the topic of forgiveness [Mooji] Many people,
they have issues about forgiveness, and how difficult it is to get past that. And I see how much suffering
comes out of it for themselves because I have to remind them, you suffer! It’s not that you're punishing others. You are punishing yourself for this. And I felt I wanted, for quite some time,
to really change the way, to say, actually,
it's not other people that give you suffering, and there's nothing called 'suffering';
you suffer your experiencing. I remember one thing that
I've shared before in satsang. There was a satsang that took place in India at the feet of Sri Nisargadatta Maharaj. When one of the people attending satsang,
the gatherings ... One young man said to him, you know, 'Sir, I hear you, I respect you, I hear what you say, but if I am to be honest, I must confess that I'm always experiencing suffering!’ And the master said to him, 'No!'
He sharply came in, 'No, you are not experiencing suffering, you are suffering your experiencing’. And that was very powerful for me to hear. You're not experiencing suffering because suffering doesn't exist as a thing. Suffering exists as a state, and a way in which
you meet your experiencing. So what Sri Nisargadatta was doing,
in answering in this way, was actually giving him back the power. Don't let something external
determine how you respond. You're not experiencing suffering because suffering is not something that
exists unto itself. It is to do with a way
in which you meet situations and circumstances. And I'm saying now, regard!
If I can say, regard all your experiences
as gifts and opportunities from God! Meaning that, if you say,
'Yes, but he gave me suffering' ... No! God doesn't give you suffering. He gives you challenges and opportunities
which human beings need, to look and to develop a powerful discernment, in order to make use of our experiences, to transcend them,
to transcend lower states of consciousness. If you have that outlook, then for sure you will, at some point,
turn and say, 'It is good, it was good for me'. How many times, if you throw your mind
back a little bit, look and see, how often an experience that
was sour, bitter, acidic, in the moment, even though you didn't do much about it, later you saw that
it brought a change in your life that your life needed? But at that time you could not see, you couldn't evaluate the potential,
the possibilities out of it. Now imagine, if you met that
with a higher attitude in you, that this is something that life is giving. 'It's giving through the instrument of this form,
that person and so on, but the experience is actually tailor-made for my life, to make use of it, to transcend and to go beyond
limited states of outlook, and conditioning and identity.' If you take that higher view,
you will see that ... 'Wait a second!' You will waste no time
just complaining and being a victim. I would not encourage anyone
under any circumstances to take on the label of a victim. Because when you take on
the label of a victim, it’s like you don't need an enemy.
You're already punishing yourself. You're already fighting against the wind. So, use your situations and circumstances. It's easy in this world, sometimes to blame, 'It's this one', 'This one'.
And sometimes it is true! Sometimes what someone is doing is not true,
is not good. But it doesn't mean you turn ...
Two bad things don't make a good thing. So, there's a saying, a wise saying,
and I'd like to share it. It says, 'A wise man
builds a house out of the stones, with the stones his enemies throw at him. He builds a house for himself,
and lives happily in this house.' When I hear things like this, it means life is full of encouragement,
and opportunities to grow. If you don't grow as a human being, it doesn't matter where you are,
you can live on an island by yourself, opportunities are there to expand, to grow in your inner awareness of life and Self. So please, please, learn to act more than react. Stop. Reflect. Take a moment. Ponder. Feel the impact of these experiences
that come to you, but don't blast out of it. Stay with it.
And watch how it functions within you, and how your mind and personal identity may join in with the wrong or a bad attitude,
a wrong response, and turn something
which presents an opportunity, into a kind of betrayal, or into some kind of descension into lower states. You have the power as conscious beings because that's what you are. Don't always look to other people to help you. Take the responsibility,
because God has put ... You are consciousness.
You cannot be alive and not be conscious. You may say, of course,
you can give me examples of people who are in a poor state of mind,
or something like this. But that's not the general ...
Let's go for the general movement, for now, and then we can look at those after. You have within you, as a healthy human being, the capacity and the potential
to think for yourself. And even in situations,
when others may tell you it's hopeless, wherever there seems not to be a way, God makes a way for you, if you have the right attitude. So please reflect on this. And I will tell you,
I only have uplifting messages for you that are not based upon fantasy, but on tried and tested
exercises and understanding that each of us have the capacity,
certainly the potential, to make use of and transcend, rise up. So don't worry about falling, falling. When you fall, it's because
you don't make use of your opportunity. Sometimes you have to fall, to hit the ground with your body,
not just with your feet. See that, also, as an opportunity. Slow down in your reaction to judge others. Reflect upon things yourself. And so you'll stop just falling down. You start to fall upwards, like I say, you fall upwards
into higher states of consciousness, falling upwards
into the embrace of God's love. That is my message that
I want to share with you today. Bless you all. Every one of you is worth it. Nobody came into life
to be a loser and to just suffer. That is an option, it is a possibility. We are free to be free,
and we are free to be bound. And make use of this kind of advice. Don't let anyone tell you anything that
is going to bring you down. And bringing you down
means to weaken you in consciousness, to make you feel always dependent
on other people's hand outs. You have the power. God gives you the power,
and God never leaves you. We are, through our mind and ego,
turned away from this immense peace and source
within ourselves. So, God bless you. God bless you. Amen [Friend] I think that's the strongest thing because you say, the forgiveness ... What the unforgiveness
does to the person themselves. This is where it kind of gives you strength
to then forgive, because of how much it burns you, the one who's holding on
to the unforgiveness. It reminds me of the prayer, the daily prayer, 'Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us'. [Mooji] Yes. It's not an easy thing
for some people to hear. Because sometimes we haven't tasted the fruit of it enough to trust it. So, you have to ...
Either you have an intuitive trust or by grace,
you have that trust to at least try, and to see, 'Wait a second ...' To understand that by holding grudges and unforgiveness towards others, it's you who suffers most.
And sometimes we don't see that. We almost feel like,
'No, no, I'm punishing you by hating you'. I say, No! You're also punishing yourself. And there is a point, of course,
some people do very wrong things, evil things, intentional things to others.
Should we just forgive them? I say, don't be in such a hurry to forgive! First, try to understand that the world, it's a very unpredictable place. And I would say, if you live by the light, you will be taken care of by the light. Human beings are not just gifted
with great understanding of the Self. We have to, somehow, develop in that. But I just want to encourage
that it's not so difficult. If you have the heart for it, and you have the heart to say, to seek, either through meditation
or through prayer, to say to a higher consciousness, 'I'm open for this.
Please help me to go higher, to understand, because it's not easy if I'm meeting life
only from my conditioning. I can't see a way I can do that. Help me to rise above
my present level of maturity, to the place where I can be ... To transcend my own weakness, and maybe to be an encouragement to others in some simple way, in some way.' Then, I know, light comes. Because if anybody is special
it's because of their openness, their openness to look in a direction
that maybe seems new to them. But their heart is helping,
and saying, 'Listen, have a go. Try.' But I say bless to everybody,
bless, bless, bless. Bless to everyone.
It's not easy to be in this life, if you're not aware
of what God means in your heart, if you're not as yet ...
Although it is there anyway! But if you're not aware of it as yet, then, yes, life is full of challenges and promises that it cannot fulfil
without your inner growth. Everything is transient.
Everything is momentary. But yes ... But in you is the highest possibility. In you is the highest possibility, always. You cannot look to man to make success. You have to look to the higher power
for success, the success I'm speaking about. Not just success about money
and property and fame, but success in terms of an inner completeness, a peace and natural happiness, an empathy and compassion for other people, and a sense of justice and these things, the peace that comes with that. This for me is the ... These are the real fruits of the human experience. [Mooji] Amen
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