Monster Hunter World Review: Furries, Crack and Simping

gather around you degenerate scum we're diving head first into a world where the wildlife is so unfriendly it makes your mother-in-law seem like a picnic companion Monster Hunter world where the monsters are big the weapons are even bigger and the only thing harder than taking down a fire breathing dragon is explaining to your ingame pico while you forgot to feed it do you have what it takes to survive in a world of giant fically shaped creatures and existential cat crises at its core this is a Grill Master simulator where you Moonlight as Gerald of Rivia there's even a unicorn for carnal Pleasures it's shockingly pleasurable yes this game is full of Virgin teer weebs Kata is wife so WEEI even your furry sidekick cosplays an animal dressed up pretending to be an animal now I know the rapture's coming I'd ask where the flying pigs are but that's probably just another furry cosplaying as a furry a weeb furry taste my righteous [ __ ] eyes evil doer you will travel around to gorgeous handcrafted AI generated Maps destroying the local ecosystem and stealing The Souls of the mostly peaceful creatures who live there then in a move that would make Norman baits proud you carve them up and wear their skin to make yourself the alpha predator of the jungles who gets that joke this process will be repeated over and over and over until your blood lust is quenched and you get bored of the game only then will these innocent bloodthirsty rage monsters be safe in their own home they should have called ADT have you ever thought that your house cat fluffy could take on a fully grown T-Rex and win well Monster Hunter lets you test that out and Bubba this Kitty's Got Claws so grab a boomerang you little [ __ ] we're going in you can customize everything about your own character this is my guy no your character's pronouns are I'm slim because you're him with plot armor thicker than John Rambo fighting giant Beast inside Hillary Clinton's uterus and only needing a short nap to recover you always vote Pro on tagonist issues all right that joke was a stretch but God damn it I like it nah I'm Pro it in this monster purging Universe there are multiple races of people You've Got Elves who had sex with Dragons elves who lost their legs in Vietnam regular ass humans and then you the hunter a mix between Dragon [ __ ] and Wonderbread basically you're the video game version of John Wick except in this universe you love killing dogs your little buddy who you can also customize called a palico will be the most underappreciated character in any video game ever all he does is save your ass time and time again with no recognition and no tasty little catnip treat hell he weighs 15 lb and you punt him head first into a 40ton fire breathing Behemoth and he still has time to pull your ass out of a sticky situation you can play dress up with this little dolly and put him in the most adorable little armor you've ever goddamn seen somebody buy this man a [ __ ] Cape he's the hero we don't deserve but God damn it he's the hero we got [ __ ] Power [ __ ] but there's another [ __ ] on your team and this one's tight enough to strangle even the chatt of necks she's the most annoying sidekick in the world who just won't shut the [ __ ] up [ __ ] talks more than na'vi Hey listen nah [ __ ] I ain't listening your boyfriend should have beat you at least she rocks some tight leather that screams I don't know Senpai I'm nervous o woo and with special events Bubba she gets even [ __ ] and [ __ ] demon partner I'd even make a sandwich for what do you think she can do with that tail help me step bro I'm stuck she's got the kind of ass that you can smack on an nft and sell to Logan Paul subscribers around the globe your main base of operation pays homage to the Doner party by using mangled corpses of the local Wildlife for decoration and structural Integrity even your ships are covered in the bones of your enemies that's pretty God damn metal [ __ ] this place has all the amenities any wouldbe psychopath could ever hope for it's got a place to buy tools to help you murder it's got a place to grow resources to help you murder there's an old lady who sharts into pots all day to help you that's right murder but they don't sell Zin Kami bastards there's a oneeyed blacksmith with a speech impediment who will take care of all your skin wearing bone swinging desire and here this one's a bonus want some bacon want something bacon now you'll never unhear it you're welcome Hey eat some Fiber there you are fiber here you can have meals prepared by the most adorable Chef team ever they're so cute you won't mind the constant hair found in your food yummy this premium organic Purina Chow is full of steroids and PCP to give you Buffs that make you even more of a natural born killing machine wait what what the [ __ ] is is this where where did you get these little chefs sir what is this Epstein's restaurant bet Bill Clinton is your best customer you awkwardly buff monster you're led by this guy who's like a young Joe Biden back in his life guarding corn poop days before all the Adrena Chrome and kid sniffing constantly incoherently babbling on about his baconators dude must have the munchies where's my dragonator but in reality Your Leader is Sonic the Hedgehog if he went to prison and was given Rusty trombones in exchange for steroids and anime he's basically weeb Sonic the roid hog I'm going to come the weapons in this game are all over the top unnecessarily shaped Implements of ecosystem destruction they've got everything from AR-15s to Scottish bag pipes though if you really want to meta game and Go full weeb the only choice for you is the katana become your own anime character and Safeguard your virginity with one of these bad boys you'll be knocking [ __ ] away from you in flashy Naruto like style and a flare to bleach away that [ __ ] but in my humble and professional opinion the best weapon is the Lance if you want to be so Unstoppable and so completely covered in Head To Toe with plot armor so thick not even the Clinton's Hitman can get you then my friend the Lance is the weapon for you it takes the strongest monster attacks and knocks them aside like you're simply swatting a fly it's the most mobile the most agile and the most badass weapon system seen since 9/11 you'll become Thomas the murder engine and chug down the field to Ram your [ __ ] likee Lance down your adversary's throat hole it's truly beautiful the armor equally as badass and varying truly the armor design in this game slaps so much [ __ ] fire that even Gordon Ramsay has to get the hell out ever want to kill animals while wearing a gay pride uniform of assless chaps well Bubba in Monster Hunter you can do that God damn look at those Gamers me ow the weapon and armor crafting system in this game creates the core gameplay Loop you'll be so addicted to making these dope ass looking sets it'll be like your street urch in days when you were sucking dick for crack all over again just one more hunt man come on I just need one more hunt and I'll be done but my son that's the joke you're never done that one single item you need to complete your set and start caring about your family and real life obligations again just won't drop sure it has a 10% drop chance and all your friends have gotten loads but the game knows you want that item it knows you need that item so to keep edging you on a maximum goon it's going to keep you unable to finish the the armor unable to finish the armor you perverted bringing you back for just one more hunt time and time again oh and did I mention it's pay to win well not not really I mean kind of but not really you can start with this retardedly easy to get Ultra armor from day one of the game that will take you all the way through high rank and into the expansion but God damn it Bubba real men grind we like our coffee black and we like our armor assess so let's get out of this soy boy apparel and into some real Man's armor Ah that's better got to let me little man breathe there's also some dopee side equipment you got wizard cloaks and Magic dildos and you know we got that bling the monsters in this game are probably the most thoughtfully crafted enemies in any game ever made it's the only game where you can fight a literal Mountain but before you can fight Mother Nature you got to find Mother Nature so you'll spend the first few minutes of your hunt walking around smelling your fingers like you just went mud shark fishing in the Ozarks it's the smell test a young man does the first time he fingers a girl to know if it's safe to go raw smells like godamn Freedom then you follow the trail of of your PCP hallucination that will lead you right to the unaware creature who's just trying to go about its day it's got every range of monster you can think of outdated air force bomber we got that fermented food items we got that former late night talk show host Bubba we got that too oh and don't forget the toaster I like to bathe with this one and this guy this guy's a real [ __ ] these monsters are more inbred than the entire state of Kentucky and no one's more inbred than this guy whose name sounds like a Filipina prostitute who's asking you if you on a little puy puy a monster so [ __ ] not even Peta gives a [ __ ] when he gets all muga his uncircumcised [ __ ] of a tail becomes erect and splooges poison all over you turning you into some sort of broke college girl with bills to pay where does he get the poison he brw it it's the godamn devil Joseph [Music] huh [Music] you have a few options upon finding your prey you can murder it and cause its children to become orphans kakie or you can play grownup Pokémon and catch them all luring them in with enough fenel to take down G flamon then display its drug addicted lifeless body for all to see when you die in Monster Hunter well it's not your fault it's 80% [ __ ] and 20% lag the monster's hitbox shouldn't have been there but Bubba that's just the computer programming ensuring you come back for just one more fix do you feel the urge to scratch yet oh you will you will you you're finally awake progression in Monster Hunter will start you out at low rank the easiest and quickest of all the ranks it's not even worth performing genocide for skin suits at this level after a few big boys you'll progress to high rank and when you go from low rank rank to high rank you'll get powerful plus items but does it work on poop n no no no poop plus damn sorry Germany man that joke will never get old just like Anne Frank a Germany yes this game has poop and you can launch that poop at a monster's face it really does have it all and the best part this little guy a I'd launch your poop in my face any day little buddy you're just so cute if you spend more money on the expansion than the base game like I did you'll enter into the world of iceborn and progress to master rank where once again all the effort you put towards skinning your kills will be for not as even the newbest easiest armor and weapons Far overshadow your ultra legendary POG champ gear that took you 200 hours to grind up was Sharon leaving and taking the kids worth it now Jim huh was it but with it comes a whole new cast of victims and ecosystems to exploit I'd say those child support payments are worth it it's for the godamn content Jim the godamn content the UI of this game is excellent it's the best the the greatest some would say it's the greatest they say that if you play on Console like a nerd console is where I fell in love with this UI but now that I've joined the PC Master race it leaves much to be desired like uh you know functionality or intuitiveness or big word inserted here but God damn it I'll deal with it because I'm simping pimping I'm also addicted to its crack so there's that you of course don't need to slaughter the innocent alone oh no you can join up to three friends in for McCarthy esque parties to go out and murder together sure the monsters get a little more HP and damage and [ __ ] but when you have four weebs armed with culturally appropriated weapons what's that [ __ ] going to do to stop you expect no ponus that's right nothing it ain't going to do [ __ ] nothing so Monster Hunter world is truly a great game I've been playing Monster Hunter since the very first one almost 20 years ago on the PlayStation 2 I get a fat Nostalgia boner every time I load this game up to quench my ever growing thirst for Carnage and genocide this also means I'm heavily biased World brought with it many quality of life upgrades and some more Simplicity tell you what the game used to be so much more [ __ ] brutal basically forcing you to gang Stockholm syndrome to come back time and time again even with the hardcore Dark Souls light gameplay it was truly wonderful but world is fancy and new and God damn it it's just plain old fun and the next installment is coming in 2025 with monster hunter Wilds now is a good time to get a rage boner and try out a little ethnic cleansing it's cool to be addicted to drugs boys and monster hunter is that Walter White [ __ ] but the best part of all yep you guessed it this little [ __ ] so I hope you cats enjoyed this video a special thanks to the members of the cheesemonger society who I'll be hunting when they feel most safe so that way I can wear their soft smooth weeb skin I'll catch you cats on the flippity Flop and as always I Love You [Music] by

Channel: Papa Cheddar

Views: 3,007

Keywords: monster hunter, monster hunter world, monster hunter rise, animated comedy, comedy, funny, monster hunter gameplay, monster hunter review, joe biden, biden, deviljho, monster hunter funny, monster hunter guide, monster hunter rise review, monster hunter rise information, monster hunter rise leak, monster hunter rise faq, monster hunter rise sneak peak, sneak peak, mosnter hunter 2025, monster hunter 2024, episode 1, joke, review, game review, game preview, guide, tutorial, tips, meow

Id: Kl43MPct4h8

Length: 13min 12sec (792 seconds)

Published: Sat Jan 27 2024