Money Mindsets Needed In A Relationships & Marriage | mildred kingsley-okonkwo

god bless you god bless you god bless you glory to god supernatural life church are you excited [Applause] are you happy at what god is doing [Applause] glory to god father we thank you thank you for what you're doing thank you for what you have started to do your word says that whatever you began you are faithful to complete it father we thank you for this church the expansion will continue [Applause] the house will continue to grow [Applause] and every individual will continue to grow in the name of jesus no one is permitted to remain small here no one is permitted to remain ordinary here the grace that is growing this house will also grow your life in the name of jesus many will think you look young but you'll be doing great things the things that take others 10 years to do you will do in 10 months in the name of jesus if you receive it shout aloud i am somebody [Music] [Applause] i'm a bit emotional tonight because [Applause] um like i was saying i'm a bit emotional tonight because this is literally what i saw when i stepped on i don't know if i said it though i said to you when you came to the hotel i'm not even sure you said when you came to yourself i told them i saw the wall where you were the last place you were as i stood up to preach i saw the wall behind collapse and i saw a multitude and i saw them sitting in amphitheater style i told you so standing here and seeing what god has done with only our god that will tell us something before he does it i dare you thank god he's only our god i will tell you i will do this thing and he will do it i think we need to celebrate god and i think we need to celebrate your pastors for their obedience because this was a faithful an absolute faith man and i honestly don't believe that some people sitting down to say the way god like that [Applause] yeah please sit down we're so excited to be here just like i said in that video that will be here again and it will be it's not being this in that venue um i also want to prophesy again that we'll be here again [Applause] i need to be multiple services multiple services in the name of jesus listen i don't want you to feel that you are too young or you are too small what god is doing with this church god also will do it your life [Applause] um we're on a mission here this week so whatever you do don't miss tomorrow and make sure you bri i want this whole place to be jammed tomorrow so whatever you do after today call people tell people go pick people whatever you need to do i want this hall to be jammed tomorrow because we're like marking off a new season over this house is somebody getting what i'm saying and it's not a coincidence that we're talking about love and money we're also going to raise multi millionaires from this assembly we're here to release that grace you will look young but the things you will do will be more than your age is somebody getting what i'm saying listen listen god is not a localized god what that means is that god is the god of the whole earth he's not limited to what is happening in your geography somebody getting what i'm saying so whatever you do please don't miss tomorrow we're going to prophetically release you into a fresh grace that you that you that you you'll be amazed at what god would do in the name of jesus amen come on one more time let's jam our hands together [Applause] please take your seats all right so today we're starting to see this love our money before we start um again um i have between the last time we came here was in november okay so pretty november now um i have two new books out all our other old books are still available at the back if you don't have them you can get them but there are two new books out uh from that time till now um this one is tied to try is the best alliance that's been selling everywhere in the world it's tied to seven things i badly want to tell women are there women in this house i can't hear you are they women in this house so after about 25 years of counseling women these are seven things i badly want to tell women so if a woman in this house um get this book um the forward was done by following the richest black man you know so you need to get it i shared several things that i feel are important for every woman to know so wherever you are please make sure you pick a copy and as usual um tomorrow we'll be doing we'll sign some books after the service again tomorrow so if you if you buy please make sure you bring it for us to sign autographed for if you if that's what you like all right but please buy for somebody buy for new money be a guy to buy for your babe buy for your mother buy for your auntie praise god yes it's a book for any woman praise god the seven things i badly want to tell women and besides if you don't like the content my face is in front of it so if you see my picture praise god and the second one is two in one it's titled how to know if he or she really loves you you know we talk about having breakfast all the time this is anti-breakfast book is you'll be breakfast proof is somebody getting what i'm saying so what we did in this book is like string one how to know if he she really loves you on one side and i don't know if he really loves gender so it's two books in one so they are made of female you buy the one read the one that concerns you if you want to read the woman's ones you can if you want to demand them but there's two books in one um it's good for you to buy for yourself and for somebody else what we did there was that many people don't know what true love is we live at a time when you know love is very confusing and it's not our fault music has their own version movies have their own version and so everybody's confused as to what love means but we we what we try to do is that we try to separate the feelings of love with the facts of love you see when it comes to the feelings of love or let me say this when it comes to fake love and real love at the beginning they all look alike that's why um i like dogs some people like dogs here you're a dog person or an animal person i love dogs i've always had dogs since i was young i remember my first dog his name was jack it was a car that killed it on my street so i've always loved dogs but at the stage in my life i stopped buying dogs as puppies because at puppy every dog is cute do you understand if you ever bought dog and the espresso before has poppy it's very cute all dogs are cute when they're puppies it's when they start to grow you know what you bought it's not what the man said it is that it really became when it grew some dog when they grow instead of backing they talk some dogs say if you think his dog when he grew up his antelope you bought antelope so at poppy level yeah so i i just said my last time buying dogs as adults so i buy food i did can you buy can you fight i remember my friend uh fella durotay used to have people jumping it was he lives in vgc so people were jumping into their fences and all that stealing things so he was bothered about it i said it's very simple buy a dog if you buy a dog nobody can jump into your face so it's okay you know what pass the cake arrange the dog for me i'm a dog person i'm a dog plug you know you know i said i was the time i had 17 dogs in my house 17. i'm a dog person praise god you will hear some of those stories today what talk about love our money my first wedding gift to my we have never finished paying for reception hall i bought two dogs you were here jeremy's love the money we were talking about would you steal all those things so i've been through a lot yes she has she would just say all those things i was very financially responsible would just you guys those things so so i was a dog plug so fella called me hey man okay arrange the dog for me now so i brought one dog called shaka if you hear any names you know by their name you shall know them the name is shaka that dog was like a liar it was a bravo massive dog if you lose his eyes his face and i know me i don't buy poppy again i buy adults can he fight can he back out i want to see doggy actually fight bye don't die you can't buy puppy he's cute 20 grew nothing to antelope you might call long pass [Applause] i've suffered those things for i bought shaka ado dog only problem was ashaka was very very wild when we brought shaka to the house to even bring it down from car shack and nobody calmed down [Applause] all of a sudden can you can you a light from the vehicle he didn't come down i never know nobody was scared nobody could go near it so the only thing later i now got an idea to bring i had a female dog so not brought the from your dog so when shaka saw babies ah baby he came down he came down by himself when he saw female dog you know so finally we delivered the dog to fellas house great beautiful nobody was could jump into the compound the only challenge was that people couldn't from outside come in people from inside too they can't go out because you dare not pass sucker doesn't know anybody you don't send anybody nobody must pass here so the children couldn't go to school family couldn't go to work they can't come out so fellas said come on karishaka please we are terrified in our house so i came and i took shaka away i now brought underdog that was the most useless dog he kind of liked at the beginning but that dog he doesn't even stand up that's the kind of daughter i opened up from robert if i'm wrong i never escort them to where they i mean it was so the best life for the gist i'm giving is that at the poppy stage of both real love and fake love everything feels the same everything feels the same you will have attraction when it's real love and when it's fake love there will be attraction somebody get what i'm saying when it's real love and when it's fake up there will be excitement somebody's gonna say when is real of unification there will be connection but there is difference between the feelings of love and the facts of love so what i broke down in this book is how to know if he loves you if he's a guy these are there are seven things a guy must do for you to know he loves you beyond this your feelings if he's a girl there are seven things to know that she will do if she loves you beyond your feelings so i broke it down it's somebody getting what i'm saying i tell guy don't go into the book i'll just you down tomorrow but buy the book let's not waste time on that one so do an intro now love our money first guess what's the interest [Laughter] all right so basically um of course i know you already know by now that money is important how many people know that money is important money is important guys we can't even have this service without money if somebody get what i'm saying we can't have that money money is important all right and it can never be over emphasized can never be overemphasized and of course statistically money is one of the things that always causes quarrels in in marriages money is one of those things that causes squirrels in what marriages a lot of homes have been rocked because of financial you know um issues and um it it starts from how you manage yourself and your relationships at this beginning stages see poverty is not good somebody getting what i'm saying poverty is not good no matter what you do please make sure you handle the money aspect of your life money see there are some things you can miss the class there are some courses you can miss the class you understand i did urban ssc you know i did europa and that i was not born again then so i already planned i was sitting at yoruba speaking person and he would just give me the expo the answer now we had already planned all of us sat around the person the only problems are some useless people around us that was sat down the person i'm now making noise when you're copying you copy silently there's a way to copy i was not going to gain them please so don't don't try this at home so we are very planned say at least confirm c for additional work five credits when we're now making noise the visitor now came and sat down on top of my desk [Applause] to monitor those making noise i thought it would stand up in five minutes when i saw that this is not trying to stand up i submitted my empty and went you understand there are some courses you can play with like that there are some courses in life you can play with money is one of those courses you can't play no matter who you are life to be alive costs money as your life here now you are wearing clothes with eating today you are going to drink water those things are paid for it might not be painful by you but it's paid for by somebody are you getting what i'm saying all right so there's some causes in life there are some topics in life you can't be too busy for you can't be too spiritual for as powerful as jesus was he paid for things he paid somebody to get what i'm saying it's not everything he prayed for some things he paid for so you can't play with money and when it comes to love and money mixing them without understanding them will cause an explosion so you must get the money factor right so what we are going to do today we want to um you do a couple things first i didn't marry couples here if you might couple can i see your hand if i remind you of you don't understand just stand where you are let me know as you you are married [Applause] okay now if your spouse is not in this service if your spouse is 97 sit down if your spouse is not in this service okay so we want to call if you're couple you look like you alcohol because every other person those people are carrying their babies who would call them upstage what should happen okay is that your wife no okay wife where are you okay so let's call that couple is that okay do you guys want to can you volunteer some people now yes are you come please come let's just ask together for them [Applause] okay um is there another couple wants to come we can do a couple who should have [Applause] come on the stage yes yeah i wonder what you want to do yes want to finish whatever it is please keep coming can we clap for them keep clapping for them we will need sheets of paper and pens and pens someone should help us with four sheets of paper and pen someone's wondering what i'm doing it's trouble whatever it is it's not going to end well just it'll end well in jesus name ladies peace can you come to this side yeah so ladies come this way because the man is going what are you going to do tell me i cannot tell me everything just for sheets of paper if you can and a pen is my my bottle of water is that spiciest you are too far less somebody bring it can we have four shoes everywhere just bring the ones you have they'll bring more now just sheets of paper and four pens okay so we're going to do a how long have you been married five years plus he's a brush nine months [Applause] i don't know okay so the question is this first the first thing you're going to do write me on top of your i hope you can write you need some support to write or you can write please they need sorry we're going to disturb you they need jotters or something to put it so that they can write a bit easier just please remember who you're taking it from so that you return all right so the first thing you do all right um quickly where you're going to write write me on top write me on top just write me as a heading of your own me or husband if your husband if your wife writes wife so that would be easier for us so if your wife writes a wife how's my husband okay so underline it the first thing i want to do for me is if you receive 50 million naira now if you receive 15 millionaire what are the things you're gonna do with it three things top three top three things if it's more than three put more than three but i have just two minutes to do it too if you receive fifty all right everybody you receive 50 million right now what will you do with it [Applause] somebody said i'll buy suya i'll just go and buy 5k suya first [Applause] 500k for suya with cold mods chilled mugs to think of what i would do to remedy 445 million all right all right it shouldn't take you long now [Applause] all right on the line okay have you done so do you think you're you done are you done so on the line under that thing right on on right on diet okay add anything that's what i'm so on the line right on diet no don't give any space okay so now writes wife so what's your wife's name rhoda so write rhoda now as the next title undie just give some space wrote next time do you write your wife's name you write your husband's name so now if your spouse receives 50 million what would they do with it [Applause] if your spouse lives like the nine months only you couldn't get proper family issues well then they try so like why was she doing it oh yeah so i need to you gonna check that oh no check this or you okay okay all right we do this exercise so that we know i don't want to give them so let them finish writing first by say what i'm saying okay so are you how this one's guys is long i now are you doing guys okay so we do this exercise to know couples that are talking couples that are planning couples that are growing together that's what this exercise about how many couples live together they never plan they never talk they never pray together they don't plan together so want to make sure you are talking ah you're writing something you just remember something else yes do pens up pencil please all right so can you submit so let's start from the ladies don't write anything again give yes so we'll check okay guys you can give me on oh my god okay so hmm so these are the two guys where is them so who is kelechi who's kelechi so your wife's name is what lauren okay so that's okay sir these two okay so hmm [Applause] okay so who should we start with should we start from youngest to oldest oldest youngest oh that's the youngest if the oldest family youngest would not be getting panic [Applause] youngest abby yes they're junior okay so youngest youngest is rhoda and what's your name yes okay so gwenga says if he gets 50 million he will tithe he will does he attend this church i don't know but that title is important say we're tight so we're 75 million amen he will give out some and he will start his clinic okay your wife says your wife said you will open a clinic she says you will buy a house she says you will go on vacation so you are not i think the best thing he will buy is gone to get the remaining money for this because only 50 million clinic buy house and go on vacation not going to go first buy so so rhoda okay so he says hmm so that gets 50 minutes when she gets 50 million she will go for a phd she will buy a house and she will go for vacation oh so it's obvious that she wants to go on vacation [Applause] very good she has a conversation with that it's obvious that she wrote what she wants not what he what she thinks it's what she wants him to do with views that she wrote okay he says she would tight with the title she's not flying to type the two times she don't mention title [Applause] he said she would tight she would give her she will start a business anymore so you're not listening to her you're not listening well she wants to go for a phd on vacation vacation and she doesn't want to pay rent again she wants a house so obviously you are not listening for themselves take your evidence pay your title [Applause] okay so lauren and kelly kenochi says he will buy a house he will take his family for holiday and he will buy shares [Applause] these things are so funny you know why because wives have planned the family without talking so she says that he will buy a car and she says you invest in a business and she also thinks you will relocate with the family [Applause] however on the other hand he said okay so she said that she will invest in property she will relocate with her family okay so that one they don't establish a business he said she will relocate that location yes very sure she will acquire more certificates and she will go shopping rhoda no it's lauren lauren jerry yeah lauren so obviously he knows that she wants to relocate i'm telling you but this is talking about it today apparently she's not she i mean the things everything he wants is she didn't write anything what i think he wants buy a house take his family for holiday not to relocate she wants him to buy a car she wants him to invest in a business and she wants him to relocate i will buy a car do business then he locates he doesn't work together so no so you relocate your business there by the car wow can we clap for them all right thank you that's good abby thank you guys god bless you god bless let me shake your hands you are blessed your dreams will come to pass amen your dreams will come to pass in jesus name please help me appreciate them make me appreciate them let me appreciate them but this exercise as simple as it looks it's very important because these are the things that cause problems in marriage yes so two people are working together but they are not really working together because they don't know each other's dreams dreams so you are making money with the plan to relocate your husband's making money with the plan to settle here those are the things that cause problems in marriage so the reason why we do these exercises is to get you to talk to each other it's very important that you talk to each other you know what each person's dreams and you must agree yeah if you don't agree the dreams will not come to pass as quickly as you want them to so one person wants to relocate the other person wants to stay here so your angel is coming with answer which answer should the answer yes and the bible is clear what two shall agree upon is what shall be examined so you are literally not maximizing the power of agreement agreement if both of you are not on the same page so it's something every couple should do from time to time say if we get 100 million whatever we're going to do you should know it you know because who knows god can open the door and that money will come and even more than that all right very very important that you communicate agree together pray together all right we're going to ask everybody their own questions so everybody that's a single mind these are questions you should answer so are you guys ready okay so i need you to ask yourself these questions because just answer for yourself you must answer for yourself even if you are not in a relationship in a relationship answer if you are not still answer um with the consciousness of one day i'll be in a relationship and this is what i would expect okay so number one two things you do when one is given to you top no top three things sorry top three thing whenever you do when money is given to you once you receive money what do you do top three things don't don't write what you don't do what you do so you shouldn't be thinking about it where you want what you do there's no right or wrong answer so just write what you do okay number two should i go ahead okay number two who does the money belong to in a marriage husband or wife or both of you it's a wife in a home who should determine how the money is spent and if you're already married who determines how the money is spent in your family okay next one if for any reason the other party's income stops what would you do for that person number one would you give them money would you wait to be asked would you spend your own together or you would just give them a monthly allowance okay so if for any reason the person you are married to or the person you are in a relationship with the person loses their income their income stops they lose their job something happens their business whatever folds up what would you do so would you give them a monthly allowance would you just spend your money together would you wait for them to ask you when they have they need or would you just be giving them money randomly should i go on if you are married or you are in a relationship what's your view on how your partner spends money if you are already married or you are in a relationship how does your partner spend money what's your view on how your partner spends money are they good with money are they bad with money are they reckless are they savers are they please be object tell yourself the truth nobody's going to look at these things tell yourself the truth it's very important that you face the truth at this stage okay if you are married or you're in a relationship who is more financially prudent who is better with money say the truth who is better with money if you're in a relationship who pays the bills now when you go out on a date who pays the bills [Applause] okay when you get married who should pay them okay when you when you are to give away money especially for my people who decides who decides where the money should be given how much the money should be and to whom the money should be given so for instance if you have maybe a family member wants money who decides or if there's a project in church who decides do you do it together or does one person decide final question do you want to have a joint account [Applause] okay this one should take votes for this one okay so please this one i want a vote i want to see your hands if you want sound sound but it's going it keeps going off hello all right house house is off to okay all right okay yes so please want to take a vote yeah if if whether you are single or married yes if you're already practicing or not just let just put up your hand for ask question do if you if you will have a joint account or you want to have a joint account can i see your hand with your partner you won't have a joint account if you want to have a joint account with your partner don't lie you got this in your hand not that to modernize you change mouse okay if you don't want to have a joint account with your partner can i see okay if you don't want you don't want to have a joint account okay so can we can we do a quick yes yes so can i have two people that want joint account and two people that i don't want yes and you can please volunteer yourself you can't give us your reason please just volunteer yourself one more one female okay one male one female which one are you which one are you joints which one are you you don't want joints joints please come what are you joints you are not okay so joints come so i need one guy who is who doesn't want a joint account as a man a man you don't want to join account please come come and say present your case now don't be afraid you don't want fantastic thank you please come why not are we complete now yes yes no yes we are more gotta watch this joint you your what this your joint joint stand like this this joint stand like this joint just try and stand it okay so take care of your feet yourself i'm just all right so just marry yourself since we don't want you in account we need mike for them to debate please mike let him use our mic so that would be faster yes so in one just in one minute why do you think why don't you want okay there's a reason i don't want because exactly if i'm married to a man that does not know let me say that money being fixed in that account is for the kids expenses and i know that when he's broke he might go there and pick the money i don't want that [Applause] let's clap let's clap let's appreciate them let's take one person on this side so why do you want a joint account i think the white house guys the basic reason to have a joint account is to enable me secure the future for me my wife and my children okay yeah in what way don't do it jerome in what way okay when when we say joint accounts we're not having a joint account to spend money from there okay we are saving money for critical issues okay so you don't want you don't want to stay for critical issues yes um i'm the kind of person that um one house guy so i can hear what they're saying i love doing things on my own hold on hold on hold on let him land now and when it comes to money um should i say i'm very very i'm careful i don't just spend any so i'd rather have my own money myself right than to have a joint account but i know okay if i don't want something to be done i know it's not really necessary at that point in time i don't want an issue with my partner i believe that if i'm our money is not monitored in a way i can surprise my wife at any time i that's just my [Applause] all right good one okay okay i actually support having a joint account i think i believe it helps cohesion it helps planning it helps transparency and is a check on both of them so and not having a joint account doesn't mean you will not have your personal accounts i mean you have salary accounts we already have accounts as single people but this joint account it brings for me a sense of uniformity and i really appreciate it okay so just to clarify this joint account people are talking about is only savings for saving not necessarily for me you want everything together not just for saving we have projects you can decide to carry out projects from the family and it will be from the joint account okay so everybody will bring their money everybody everybody will have a portion they put in it and again and you can't just talk about spending carelessly for you because i know that an account a joint account there are signatories and the couple are signatories so nobody takes out money without the check of the other person thank you all right can we put ours together for them please i appreciate them i appreciate them [Applause] praise god praise the lord i can't hear you praise the lord [Applause] all right well intentionally let's leave it why don't we debate for now we're intentionally doing this class like this so that you can see how people actually think a lot of times we just teach and we assume people are listening or are green meanwhile they have their own minds if you notice um the lady that was wearing brown that was not for joints she has already calculated her husband's behavior i wanted to ask are you married have you met this man already have you met the man already he's already behaving badly except except you have met him already but if you have not met him already it's not nice to have already planned what he's going to do praise god i'm also concerned about the fact that is he working now all right okay okay i'm also concerned about the fact that you are okay with knowing that somebody has very bad financial habits and you want to still go ahead you know that's a big concern for me you know so for me it's still not even about money it's about your mindset and that's the real problem with money marriage a lot of people have funny mindsets exactly about marriage so you've already planned yourself that i'll manage to find a man i could just manage him if he asked by that i would protect myself why go into something that's going to be a problem tomorrow why don't you pick wealth from the beginning so she's already made that adjustment in her head that this guy may have a bad spending hub so i don't want to go there with him you should have already divided yourself so what we're going to do in this evening service is to just look at some mindsets that we need to work on all right believing god that this will prepare you for where you are going into so number one first thing you need to all have as a mindset as regards love and money is that god is my source come and say that with me god is my source very important one of the things that brings tension financially in a marriage is when one person is associating the provision of their life to a human being instead of to god god is your source the only person that promised to meet all your needs is god is somebody getting what i'm saying you must remove your eyes from any man or any woman and put your eyes on god god is your source don't marry someone because you think they are the key to your financial breakthrough i'm telling you it's a very sneaky mindset pastor i didn't know you know when they talk about the seven capital scenes or the seven deadly sins laziness is one of those mentioned there and i used to think how you put it we're talking about sexual immorality you're talking about killing murder or talking about greed you are bringing laziness into it why is laziness here until many years i began to see the lifestyle in human beings one of the things that we are most successful too is laziness most people would like to earn money without working for it the average person who wants to pass exam without staying up to read he wants to get answered prayer without learning to pray or knowing god let somebody just pray for him so shout amen we are looking for this is why betting is selling because you just want to do minimal work and get maximum flex or maximum cruise it doesn't work like that laziness is a sin there is no body that is your source except god and the bible said the same god is rich unto all that calls upon him somebody get what i'm saying dj give us romance chapter um i called him i called for that scripture for me dj romance chapter 10 verse 12. romans 10 12 you have it on the screen quick put it so so god is your source not that man not a woman don't marry anybody with the mindset that they will rescue you from poverty i always see girls sometimes guys they say things like i never marry a poor person look at it here he said for there is no difference between what the jew and the greek for the same lord over all is what reach unto what all that god that means god is able to make every one of us here rich you don't have to say i must marry a rich man that that mentality and mindset is saying that you are a poor man and you need a rich man there's nothing stopping you from being rich every time i counsel ladies especially guys to have that mindset when the council ladies are telling me i must marry man that is rich i said no what you need to say is that you want to be rich don't misconstrue it with you want to marry a rich man if you think on my rich man you are assuming that he will share his money with you you are assuming he will be generous there are many rich men that are wicked there are many rich men that yes at the beginning when they are willing you they are buying your car buying everything at some point they will just say i'm not giving my money again something i'll just hide their bag and walk away somebody will divorce you so what will happen at that time there are many people today that might rich man and they are homeless because the man has left them what if the man even dies god forbid but what if anything can happen so you can't just sit down and say your dream is to marry a rich man that same god that made them rich can also make you rich what you really want is that you want to be rich if somebody get what i'm saying so you must eliminate that mindset people that are married because of the mindset of undermining rich the moment they start getting their own money they find that they don't really like this person don't marry someone because they paid your school fees school fees is not dowry if somebody gets what i'm saying i've seen these things so sometimes even men there's one particular guy i know like that he's in his top marriage also and his money that made him marry all the people he married married the first one when he started see if you married somebody that said the day god starts blessing you i've got millennia you find out that you don't actually find that person attractive it was their money you like now you have money and you find out i don't want to live with this person so he jumped from the first marriage the moment the money she was making was not one big money to him or he lost so she loses her income then money on that one to that promise big money when the money finished too he left he had been jumping like that he's a trap either that person will can lose their income or you can't even get to sit where you start making money you're not finding that you're stuck for life with somebody you don't like just because they had money see money that is big to you today will not be big to you in 10 years time i'm so that's why that's why we're here this weekend i want to enlarge your mind money that is 10 million 50 million a time will come in your life 50 million will be something you write in one check and give us a seat oh there are not many people in that room here a time is going to come your tithe you will pay tithe of 50 million i'm telling you sir i'm telling you sir so get to that stage where you don't see money as your god let god be god in your life abraham when he was coming that back from the war they wanted to offer him all the riches of the way he said i will not touch even a shoelace from this money he said lest you say you are the one that made abraham rich he was so sure of his covenant with god listen there's a covenant of prosperity on your life whether you're male or female whether you're young or old god you and god if you're especially born again christian you and god have a covenant of prosperity there's no need for you to subject yourself to marrying somebody you don't like because they are rich you too can be rich oh i don't know if you get what i'm saying that's what we're here to release this weekend whether you're male or female you'll be controlling millions and billions in the name of jesus so number one god is your source stop beefing your partner stop hating somebody that didn't load your phone stop raising somebody that didn't buy pay for your uber somebody get what i'm saying god is your sauce say it with me god is my sauce all right so that's the first thing first mindset you must have all right my husband is not my sauce my wife is not my sauce my father is not my sauce my mother is not my sauce because i put i want to marriage and i still expecting their parents take care of them god is your source and this god is rich come on somebody i said this god is what there's nothing too hard for him to do trust me nigeria's economy does not weaken him oh i don't know if you're getting what i'm saying you can be a multi-billionaire if you are ready because from his own end is ready he said the blessing of the lord it may get rich and he added no soul you don't have to sweat for it you don't have to inconvenience your life for it you will prosper cheaply are you getting what i'm saying tomorrow i'll talk about the first millionaire that i was raising a minute was a student and i was a multi-millionaire so don't see there's nothing stopping even being a student doesn't stop you don't say i'm just in uni i've been massive look you god can prosper you there the covenant of prosperity is not your respect of your location oh i don't know if somebody's getting what i'm saying so why would you say i can't marry a man that i remember my mother is not rich you're already belittling yourself you're already thinking that they're gonna acquire you like a piece of furniture look ladies when you are coming you're going to bring something when you are coming somebody know what i'm saying [Applause] i'm praying for you the young ladies here you will not marry in a generation where they will be telling you you will leave my house today or they'll be telling you things like i will not pay your transport or i will seize your khaki because they're the one that bought the car for you some of those ladies you see that they buy range rovers for they give them long range slap inside the range overall there are many women that are staying in marriages they should not stay in because if they leave they can't even eat they can't afford to somebody get what i'm saying so number one god is my source all right okay number two every human being must work god is not a magician god is never going to throw money from heaven for you god expects that you will work and that he will bless the work of your hands so when he made man the bible says he made mankind that word man is not just mailman he's mailman and female man and he blessed both of them and he told them to multiply told them to feel the earth and he told them to take dominion he expected both of them to walk with the blessing that has been released on them so these days is very sad for me when i see people just because they want to get married you know they just shut down their lives shut down their dreams i'm getting married i remember when i was living i was living i lived in potato for about a year and a half about two years and i remember one day there was one girl that came to our office and so a couple of people were talking about her and so i just walked in and i said then i said what does she do they say she get what she get boyfriend i was confused i said she get boyfriend eh boyfriend at work they say ah bit yeah she asked car she has house she has everything paid for by this guy and this is somebody that ordinarily would have been able to bring something to the table once that relationship was over the guy collected everything he bought yes is his own who pays for something his own is his own he paid for it so at this stage if you are going to enter into a relationship where you're already mined you must understand that every human being as far as you are adults as far as you are a living being you are expected to work in fact bible is so clear on it that second thessalonians 3 10 the pastoral translation says for when we were with you we instructed you with these words he says anyone who does not want to work for a living should go hungry he said if you will not walk don't eat don't come into marriage with the mindset that somebody else is going to pay off my views on me i'm just going to relax when you're coming to marriage you're expected to bring something to the table you're not expecting for a man and women especially are guilty of this i hear so many women say don't worry my boys is coming and my question is you're expecting the boys are you a root a lot of times when we tell the story of rutan boaz most people focus on the fact that oh she went to him she went to lay at his feet you know they almost make it seem as if oh women should propose that's not the focus of that story how did they meet did he meet her twerking he met her working was busy and she was working so hard that he passed by and said who's that young girl who does she belong to those were his exact words his former now said oh she's the the girl that came back with um naomi and all of that and so he greeted her and you see the interesting thing was he greeted her and told her oh we have heard so many great things about you may the lord give you a full reward he blessed her and then he said to her don't worry i've told them if you need to keep working with us keep working here she kept on working then when it was lunch time he took her on a date one read that story he took her on a date the md took on a date and after that the baby said she went back to work she did not decide i've arrived md is not hosting me away for lunch the other day and we had some business discussions no she went right back to work so as a woman don't feel entitled i see too many young girls entitled the argument they were having the other day that they said dragging themselves on social media not me was that i said that if a woman asked you for transport money you shouldn't marry her why would you be planning to go on a date with someone you are planning to enjoy his company as well and he should pay your transport money which presupposes that you are poor because i'm assuming that you are also driving down to wherever you are meeting with your car these are the mindsets that keep women small you just think that a man will marry you and acquire you as property as pastor always says people there's a women treat property how many men today when you're going out did you tell your chair i'm coming did you tell your dog take care of yourself i'll be back soon okay if you are furniture you'll be treated like furniture if a man acquires you like furniture you'll be treated by furniture you can't pay your own bills you can't load your phone you can't pay for your uber this i'm so at this generation my heart bleeds for you because most people in the generation don't even know anything about vex money when i was growing up and i was dating vex money you hold your money in your pocket so that's when you get there you are done with your full chest [Applause] what you want to eat and if the man cannot pay you tell him don't worry i just came to have fun i will pay for this days you wait for him to order uber for you if he does not other for you then you get there you are now shaking to other you are unclear but you are not sure what he can pay and what he cannot pay those days if a man tells you okay we finished dinner let me take you to my house you tell him get out of here and you order your uber or you bring your khaki and be going home [Applause] for these days you are his mercy because if he says let me take him as you say because you can't go home you can't go home so as a woman and as a human being every human being is expected to work because both of us are supposed to bring what we have to the table to work together to build our future raise our children build our dreams together it's not supposed to be one-sided even though god is our source but you must also be a willing channel third mindset third mindset you must correct that's the mindset that men should provide in the family that's a very common one but it is not biblical it's not scriptural what has happened what you need to understand the history and the the background of that concept that men should be the main provider in the house it is cultural but it's not scriptural all right it's a cultural concept it was never designed by god and there's a reason why in those days they were they were they were trying to walk on ephesians 5 vision 5 says husbands love your wife and your wife submit and respect your husband so what they wanted to do they were manually making sure efficiency five happens if usually if notice most men do this married they were way older than their wives how many of you know what i'm talking about most time you check your parents you find out that there's a significant age gap between father and your father and mother now those things help respect to happen naturally because this man would have advanced in life so most likely he would have been visited in his career or field all right he'll be in a position to take care of his wife and the wife will be in the position to respect him so they are manually making sure that the respect and love thing is happening now unfortunately for us we are carrying that cultural mindset but today men are women that don't have that age gap men and women will the woman's tight is the man's whole salary yes so this is why if you look at those countries where women have equality and all that marriages are crashed there easily because this cultural mindset cannot survive in 21st century it's because we're building on something that was never god's design god never said anywhere in scripture that the man must be the main provider the main scripture people quote to try and push that idea is from festivity where he says he does not provide for his house that was never what god was saying so we're going to look at the dj please give me first timothy chapter five so let's look at it you must always read scripture read what's before the verse read words after the verse never pick a scripture out of context all right if you pick any script out of context you know you become a con all right first emotive chapter five from verse one did y'all need to move in as fast as possible is that possible because we're gonna read down to a couple of verses so what was happening here you know timothy was a young pastor i mean if you know the story timothy was a young pastor apostle was his father in the lord so timothy was pastoring a young church a person was coaching him on how to pastor so this was paul coaching timothy on how to run a church so see what he said he said rebuke not what an elder so what's that antibodies look when an elder miss behaves don't just rebuke him anyhow he said but instead he treats him as what a father was teaching him about the wrong church he said and the younger men treats them as your word brothers brethren next verse he said the elder women treat us what mothers and the young girls treated as teachers as what sisters with all what purity was very young probably not married here very young guy she said you have to care for her dealing with sisters sitting next to say oh no what widows what is in church administration so verse 3 we started talking about who we do i can't hear who are you talking about my vibe verse 3 widows say honor widows that are widows what indeed so who are we talking about i can't hear you i'm not sure who are we talking about now you know we started with men elder men struggle with younger men elder women younger women i mean from vastly we entered what we do so verse four but if any we don't have children or nephews let them learn first to show pity at home and to require parents for that is good and all that who are we talking about in verse four i can't hear you guys what are we talking about verse four see verse five now she that is a widow indeed and desolate trusted in god and conjures up with prayer at night who are we discussing here six but she delivered in pleasure is dead while she leaving what are we talking about here seven and these things give in charge that they may be blameless who are we talking about here if you are not sure you receive us next verse number seven yes okay so see verse eight but if any provide not for his own especially those of his own house he had denied the faith and is worse than words so stop here stop here now the assumption many people have is that he's talking about marriage if you notice we've been talking about widows since am i correct how did we jump from widows to marriage this is not marriage and if you notice that they will say husband they save any so take note of that i'm going to explain they say if any doesn't provide for his own so let me explain i will continue what was happening was that they had a lot of widows in those days when you were a christian you were kind of isolated from the community if you knew if you know if you've read actually a person all that i said i used to kill them just to share food in church all right he wasn't offering the reason to share food it was everybody bringing food from their own house i would share it to everybody many people think he's offering that everybody know he wasn't afraid everyone was bringing food because we were kind of isolated we were like a endangered people somebody get what i'm saying so um they had widows there and church was thinking of the widows and the church couldn't continue taking care of all the widows he was coming through cumbersome so paul said you know what you're going to do tell people to have relatives that are widows if you if we are a male or female if you have a relative you take care of that widow so that the church can take care of all the widows that nobody is taking care of that was the problem so let's continue to not pass it we'll come back to you see verse nine let not what so verse eight was about who we see we have not left the topic of widows never left it nothing about marriage in that verse at all vast man says let not the widow be taken to number under three square years this guy is 60. say if somebody is young each other if someone's younger than 60 they shouldn't even become called the widow they should go and walk or they'll remarry he said um having been the wife of one man he says um well reported for good works they're not saying if he's younger than 60 she should come and sit down for us take care of her she'll go and continue her life life is still on you know say report of good works and all that if she had lost strangers if she has watched changes he's listening out of next verse he says um but the younger widows who are we see what's the topic we do and we've never left the issue of widows but the younger widows refuse them for when they have begun to wash one quantum against christ they will steal what marry that means let them go and live their life having domination because they have cast off their first faith next verse it says and when and without the land to be i do wondering about from house to house and and not i don't know who are we talking about here widows next verse he says uh i will therefore that the younger women who are we talking about here widows the younger women they should bear to the best you can guide the house another question about the speaker others go to next verse for some are already turned aside after set up next verse if any man or what this this the expansion of verse 8 that we read they expanded the universe 16. if any man or woman that believeth is born again have what we do who are we talking about guys if any man or woman have widows let them do what relieve them and let not the church be what charged that it may relieve them that are we those indeed these an expression of verse 8 saying if you have a widow please take care of the widow that's what it was saying there's no way it connects to marriage so there's nowhere in the bible there's nowhere in the bible that god says the man shall be the provider nowhere now doesn't mean the man should be responsible that's not what i'm saying at all the point is that please repeat that yes doesn't mean the man should be responsible because we'll get there because somebody will say ah no no no no if you go to see a woman if a woman is under her parents and they are taking care of her and you want to go and marry her you know what i think the parents that from now on i was thinking of that's what i was signing for so i'm not in any way saying the man should not be responsible at all but i'm saying don't come with the mindset you see that's why women have been maltreated for years because both the parents and the husband and everybody they are tracing them like like a commodity that we're shipping off to another person so anything you see there let the might be controlling you know it's high time we marry women and know that this is my partner not my footstool if somebody get what i'm saying if they acquire you like furniture they will treat you like furniture and that's what has been going on for years women are not handicapped you see this mindset is what makes women not to be productive most women have the capacity to make more money than men but because they've told them my mom must provide they bend their hand like this and they come so now you go by give me transport when that thing was trending i was so ashamed for my country it's only nigeria those things can trend because abroad if a woman is going on a date with you she's not assuming you will pay you guys will share the money yes that's the assumption she's not going to assume you're going to pay for the debt it's only in africa and see when you when you come on a date with that mindset that you pay that's why you will feel the need to offer your body because they paid for food you what do i have to offer you put your clothes that's the only thing you have to offer if somebody gets what i'm saying because most guys if they're paying for things like that in their mind they assume you're going to sleep in their house this night is the assumption this is what women are presenting themselves to be as commodities and items that men can use if somebody gets what i'm saying so don't package yourself but there's nowhere they say you as a woman see go and read proverbs 31 can that woman can they be giving her transport that woman was in all kinds of business she was a business mogul she was a real estate business she was in a fashion business she was in food business agriculture she was logistics she was in all kinds of business shipping and all that importation expectation so imagine how rich she was dependent i wrote this book seven things i believe in this chapter many young girls who know her they know people that are tracked but they don't know she's a richest black woman in africa and almost the world self so imagine if if you are that if there are many women like that that could have been doing great things but they just think of my own job is to stay in the kitchen no some of you are graced to make billions and millions don't let anybody just keep you one corner as an item if somebody gets what i'm saying all right so there's nowhere they said the money loan should provide you must always work as partners and listen ladies men respect you different when you make your own money i can tell you for a fact yes men respect you different in our parents time any smart thing they will tell you when you pack out of my house today if to of course buy the house if you rest you go in that room i go in the room nobody's packing out somebody getting one of us angry we're traveling we travel abroad we both leave the house it's not that one person we say you're parking our master and you'll not call your uncle come and beg for you to enter the house because you're a piece of furniture you're load into a box i'm just imagining if they want to move me out of my house now it'll be easier for him to move out yes yes a man respects you differently when you are a woman of substance when there's a way he can't talk to you he can't say i won't give you your money you know the way you can treat me with that that for now since you are rude to me come and see where you get money all the ladies may you never be in those kind of situation may not be that kind of woman that they would threaten with chin gum that won't buy you chicken you must be so blessed by yourself that you can you can buy your own things you can go on vacation by yourself not that somebody is taking you to dubai to sleep with you you can pay somebody get what i'm saying and go by yourself so that mindset that women have as many women that could have done business one lady told us that her perfume business is no longer moving so she wants to marry i don't know if you understand because marriage is on that form of business as this business is not moving make adjustment go and check those people that marry a man and they are not doing anything go and check how the dynamics works out in the long run you know i'm a counselor so i'm giving you the gist at the beginning it looks like the man is spending buying him buying a car buy her clothes many years after when the emotional emotionality has died the man is now looking at the practicality of you your wisdom your sense how many women suffer as the yes good mind is no more giving money so woman is mine to a rich man but she doesn't have money she can't buy things because the man is not my teacher those men if you look at my second wife what should you say you can't even because you can't even pay rent you can't move out so go and check most of those marriages where the man is super rich and the woman is super poor at the beginning it looks okay go and check five years 10 years 20 years down the line the man is misbehaving woman can't talk because she can't even eat if she shouts she can't eat i get what i'm saying ah women you make your own money in jesus name it's important okay so the next one marriage finances in marriage is not 50 50. it's not 50 50. it's not 50 50. in fact marriage as a whole is not 50 50. the problem and the challenge when you come into marriage with the mindset that marriage is 50 50 is that after a while you will become resentful because what god expected okay he said it's not good for this man to be alone i'll make him a helper then he went on to say this man will leave his father and his mother and he will cleave to his wife and the two of them will become one god expected that you will come as a whole person and this person will come as a whole person and both of you will join together and become another one individual before god's eyes and pascal's going to talk about covenants in a bit but there are days in marriage okay there are days bible says that two are better than one for they have a good reward for their label and says that sometimes when one is weak the other will be able to pull him up he says when one is called the other will be able to keep him warm that's what the bible says so the bible is trying to tell us that there will be days when i will not be at my max max level of my hundred percent if this person was only bringing 50 and i was bringing 50 then if my 50 falls short it will affect the home it will affect the marriage but if i'm bringing 100 and it's bringing hundreds if my 100 is not up to 100 we still have a hundred we're working with so god's plan ultimate plan in marriage is that both of you will bring auntie when it comes to sharing money if you think about marriage as 50 50 that means that you're looking at marriage as a contractor not a covenant that's usually the problem most people want in fact what people want today it's not really marriage it's not marriage people just want first of all a ceremony so that they can change their name an official ceremony you said that my name came change so that people can respect me that's number one number two people want to just have a legal way to be having sex if you're born again if you're born again you just don't want them to look at you that you have fornicator so you just marry but people don't want to do the actual work of marriage so a few minutes ago when we were asking those questions the young gentleman over here said he he likes there's a way he likes his things he likes his things to be done he likes no and i'm not trying to be insultive or anything i'm trying to be funny i'm just these are just some of the mindsets so we have people who will not mind being married but they don't want to be husbands so he wants a wife but he doesn't want to be a husband he doesn't want to stop being a bachelor so what people want to do is remain bachelors in their marriage and that can happen so once you come into a marriage it means that every you are bringing everything assets liabilities what you like what you don't like you're going to come in and lay it all down and i'll bring my own the same way you two you don't there's things you don't like things you don't like and if all of us do that since we don't like you won't have a marriage so you can't say oh that's the way you want to spend your money that totally negates the idea of marriage because margin itself is covenant and i don't want to get into what was cause he's going to talk about but the truth is that when it comes to marriage god expects that everything you have you bring it everything he has he brings it and two of us no longer have individual things that's real marriage joe i know there's instagram marriage where we take pictures together we do selfie we look good but the real work of marriage we don't want to do it if you want to have a real kingdom marriage where god planned it god's plan is that you bring everything and you surrender everything and we work together to get there not our past because you can't say you wouldn't say well you want to have your own money see if you have your own money the same way you want to surprise your wife you can surprise her positively and negatively because you can when you have money that nobody's asking what you're doing with it you can use it to cheat and she finds out she'll still be surprised just assume they pleasant surprise so sometimes even having that money together that putting everything together being accountable together helps us to keep accountability i know what you're doing i know what your thoughts i know what your plans are once you start separating money you start separating your lives once you start separating your lives you don't have a marriage and it doesn't just end with money i'm also talking about church where people say things like oh i worship in this church my wife worships nature it's only a matter of time there will stop being cracks in that marriage so when it comes to marriage you have to bring a hundred percent when it comes to sharing money in marriage it's not going to be about law it's not about i bring this person it's about love it is love that will compel you this woman love will make you know that this woman has needs much more than so pascal always gives that example and it's so true i'm always fascinated when we're traveling so when we're traveling we pack two boxes let me freeze that i pack one and a half and he gets the other half because we all know when he's traveling one black shoe one brown shoe we just put it in so now i start looking my earrings at this column my top is this color i will need i'm wearing three black outfits but i need three different shoes for it so i'm wearing blue but i can't wear navy blue and royal blue i can't wear turquoise and like so i have to mix it up and then if i'm wearing stripes i want white shoes that have black blue and tomorrow if i'm wearing white i want white shoes that don't have a bow so you see i'm going to pack at least seven shoes for his two shoes the same thing goes with when we are shopping we can't share shopping money equally now it's not about law you know if we say oh let's just do 50 50. you will give me the exact same money but it's not going to work because my needs are more [Applause] that were entered now send me my honorary room later i just preached for you're good so it's never it's it's it's more about generosity than responsibility sometimes you know just being kind towards the person that you love not to face you i'm preaching being kind towards the person that she loved so many times when we're traveling we don't shed shopping money equally he doesn't push up on every trip even though when he does shop it covers because the wristwatch is wearing can be like seven of my outfits do you understand okay well so it's not every time but that wisdom in knowing that or we can say because we brought 50 50 what 50 50. no it's about love i know what his needs are there are times when he needs to buy an expensive resource and i just sit back and i'm happy to have my apple resource with every outfit i'm okay there are times where he needs to buy a power bike needs we buy it so that when i want to travel with my children he he will also respond to that need so it's never going to be 50 50. there will be times when you will have more needs than the other person they can be emotionally they can finish financial needs there are times when you're able to emerge there's times you'll be too tired to pray there's time i'm telling you if you just for instance if you just had a baby if you just had a baby you are exhausted you don't let me tell you you want to pray but you don't have power i don't know where you're all about because you're very strong me i was tired there were times i was really tired and those days all i wanted to do was just lie down and sleep and in the sleep i would hear somebody with his hand on my head malekith shut [Applause] so imagine if i'm saying if he says oh we're bringing 50. i'm bringing 50. when when when it's your time to praise no it's hundred hundred when this person has need when they fall the other can lift him up when you are cold that can keep you warm [Applause] so so remember marriage is not worth 50 50. that's a transactional relationship that's a business transaction that's not love here we do it more by love not by law very important it's by what love not by so it's about generosity not what responsibility so i see many couples say you pay light i paid this you paid that once you start doing like it's like working with the business nobody falls in love with your business partner do you understand you're not practicing the right thing it's your about generosity sure what can i say some couples they are very strict though you bring 30 percent of your money you bring this person is very strict and once the woman brings less or whatever they will fight whatever the man brings less that's not what the atmosphere of a loving home it's supposed to be it's about generosity about hey how can i bless you how can i do more for you is somebody getting what i'm saying all right so like she said when we go shopping with those who don't share the same we don't share money we don't do anything but nothing that should be equally done it should be based on generosity of both people we should be struggling to give to each other somebody getting what i'm saying so sometimes you just wake up i said you need to change your shoes i don't write out some millions say just go and buy shoes for sure i did that december last night i just transformed my money millions ah what's this for i said for shoes let's go and buy shoes i didn't buy an issue but there's generosity is somebody getting what i'm saying it's about jerusalem we have run a joint account for many years for that that's that's taken me like for many years from the first year for from beginning we've always run a joint account and that's my next point about covenant you know marriage is a covenant so i'm saying this to say even though we run a joint account i'll get to that later um now after many years i still allow her have money she can use to do anything now we run a joint account so all my money is our money but now after i mean i know she asked me it's not entitled it's out of what generosity remember that's the key what two of you should be calling about in your home is who should do for who not who should receive from somebody gets who i'm saying so she has some accounts that she uses that so they paid some things into i don't even bother her about it all right and but all my money is in our joint account all but allow i have some flexing money it's not because i trust her and he said i have flexi money guess what most times she uses it to do things for me it's somebody getting what i'm saying so that's what it's about generous not about law we don't do it by law we do it by love i get what i'm saying so marriage is not 50 50. once you start dividing things challenge is about to come because once one person falls short this respect will come you're supposed to be 30 percent brought 28 korea will start so that takes the next point marriage is a covenant marriage is the covenant so genesis chapter 2 genesis 2 verse 24 popular scripture dj genesis 2 24. he said therefore shall a man do what lives on the mother i shall do what cleave on to his wife and they shall become what that phrase one flesh means one person they use flesh to talk about person so that phrase one flesh means one person two of you becomes one marriage is a covenant and i think you must have this mindset so don't have the mindset of oh we're gonna i'm gonna be different but who are married no when you are joined to somebody you are one person one person you are not nothing should separate you anything striving to separate you will separate the marriage that's why you can't start separating your money that's why god doesn't expect all right i understand somebody might be in peculiar situations so i understand though but i'm saying what the ideal from god's idea and god's mind is is that the two of you will do everything not just money everything will be seen as our own no more my in the marriage everything should be ours so it's nothing like no someone say hey your money is my money but my money is my money no it's our own everything is what house the word my becomes like a curse word in that marriage you don't say my money don't say my don't say my house it's our money our house our shoe our car if somebody getting what i'm saying he said the two of you shall become what one person everything is joined so for us from day one we've always had to join account from scratch there's never been a time where i'm wondering what's in our account or was it no it has always been together all right you can plant together that coming together that's where the power of covenant is that two people are operating as one there is nothing that becomes impossible to you matthew 18 says what two of which shall agree upon as touching anything shall be word established so marriage is a covenant and that's why from the buddha that came out that's why i want to talk about those mindsets you can trust your life to somebody but you can't trust your money to them i remember one woman i was having a bath and people were in the house he ran out with soap in her body and i told her she said she was from what's wrong she ran to our room what's wrong she said she left our wardrobe open and husband is in the room and ammon is there so you can trust you can trust this man with your whole life but you can't trust him with your money your money and your life which one is more important your life that many people want to save their money but they want to save their life look if you can't trust them out your money that means you can't trust him with your life i guess what i'm saying i watch because personally you're married is the first person that can kill you the easiest they can poison you you can die the next week they can kill you you want to trust them with you you sleep in that person's house you close your eyes that person can do anything to you they can poison you that person gives you food they can kill you i watch crime channels a lot from the us and once somebody dies that is married or even if he has girlfriend the first suspect say ah my husband is there to say yeah sorry you where were you in yesterday night you are the number one suspect and a lot of times that person has a hand in it somebody says you watch your own video they are real is somebody getting what i'm saying so marriage is a covenant that's why you change names when you marry you are now one with that person you no longer bet so everything about mind is trying to turn both of you to one the moments are separating your money it's not separating your lives is somebody getting what i'm saying so my is the covenant and in god's mind nothing should be separate and coming together as one aids transparency aids vision all right next point okay so the next point is that when it comes to finances you must be responsible so don't be a waster don't be a deadweight i know that this evening we've established that both parties are supposed to be involved in providing for the home but that does not mean as a man you now become lazy and unfortunately this becoming a thing yeah in this generation most men are just okay remind a woman that can pray woman that can bring money they just want to relax you can't be dead with at that scripture i read to you before let me read it to you in the messy translation so ii thessalonians chapter 3 from 10 to 13. he says don't you remember the rule we had when we lived with you he says if you don't walk you don't eat and now we're getting reports that a bunch of lazy good for nothings are taking advantage of you when i read the scripture i was just thinking of my sisters a lot of people are in relations with men that are not doing anything he's lazy all he's doing every time you go out he has forgotten his wallet every time um just get this one next time maybe i'll get the next one and there's never a next time when he what are you doing now um huh i have these big projects i'm working always working on projects always planning to i'm planning to um maybe i'm planning to don't marry i've said it before and i'll keep saying it i don't care how many people fight me on social media don't marry a lazy man don't marry a lazy woman don't marry an individual that is lazy they will drain you i can't count the number of women that their lives are literally shot down because they might lazy men and it always starts in the relationship you can see he's not paying for things in the relationship every month he's learning from you every month he's borrowing from you and from other people in fact they are calling you for the ones all those cash apps they are not calling you that do you know so i'm so pissy zoey yes and you still want to go ahead with the relationship you still want to marry this person then you get married he doesn't pay house rent you have to walk and get house friends you have to walk and get school fees you have to work pay hospital bill i know one woman that was in the hospital she was almost dying this one they didn't teach me i know her she was almost dying and they were telling her husband that she has to do she say ah it doesn't have money for she want me inside she was shouting i will sign i will sign i will pay i will play unfortunately in nigeria nobody pays attention to the woman they think that the man is the one who don't pay the bills the man was still outside that queen how much is that one why can't she push like a mate okay shifts even if she push like i met you will still not pay that one so don't get yourself entangled in things that you you will regret it buying a man that is lazy i heard the story of one woman who was in her office her husband called her and when she should come home she should come home she lives in ecuador because that's where she can afford to pay she walks on the island she ran climbed this thing entered 10 million and got to corrado and got home how was when i was sitting on the couch oh that dstv has finished that's why i was calling her true story true story those are the things that people get themselves robbed into and young girls will tell you you don't understand person i'm in love see let's love is blind marriage is an eye of now when you enter inside you will understand and that's why we have so many broken homes today because the woman is exhausted she's exhausted don't marry a man that is lazy don't let anybody take advantage of you he says we command them to get to work immediately no excuses no arguments and let them end their own keep let them end their own money if you are out of work as it be useful in other ways i know there are men in marriages today that maybe they lost their job for some reason they'll be useful in other ways if she's going to work she shouldn't go to work still come back pick children from school go to a market cook for you you are not balancing there there has to be something you to bring to the table it's a partnership don't kill somebody's daughter praise god and when i'm talking about being responsible i also need you to understand that it starts from now as a single person you must have good work ethics christians are the worst in fact sometimes they are the worst people to work with and i pray that this generation will change the narrative it's not when you get to the office that you now start resump sometimes it's now when you now start a quiet time that's where you start reading your bible when you should be working you do not pray at home he's in the office christians have terrible work ethics work hard work hard work does not kill anybody work this generation is so lazy you see so many who take things like you don't understand don't judge people and when they are doing runs because you don't know what their background lies like if you had this let me tell you people have choices there are some people that had a difficult background and they started washing clothes side chick is not a job the last time i checked it's not a job dating a mind man it's not a job you can lengthen learning you can cook you can clean there's dignity in labor and for the men because i know that that's another thing that is raining for young boys these days if it's not internet fraud their side jigglers yes because we're going to say they are side chicks side side kukuruku whatever there's you see there's no there's no there's that the end of that thing you're doing it is destruction it's destruction and those things are habits when you have formed the habit of not doing anything and expecting money when you get into marriage you expect the same treatment and you will frustrate each other so you are all you are doing you sleeping with women that are old enough to be your mother and they're giving you money then you not expect that because you're sleeping with your wife at home she should not bring money for you it will shock you and the real reason why these things happen is because people do not have contentment be content with what you have you can't be informed that is bigger than your your entire moment salary people are carrying phones their mother is in the village in in a broken down house you are buying a bull straight you are buying of i can't even call the money but your salary the bible is very clear first timothy 6 6 they are nlt i love it it says yet true godliness with contentment is itself great wealth be satisfied with what you have don't and don't don't live beyond your means is it incredible people that say they are looking for capital they are carrying iphone 10 pro how are you looking for capital and that's why people are so greedy these days if you carry that habit into marriage your marriage will wreck if you're already used to men giving you money and you don't want to marry one young boy we start in life you frustrate him how much is his salary his salary is what they are giving you for transport yes now abuja lagos watercolors abuja lagos watercolor they'll give you you fly there they give you 200k they fly they give 500. you find it 1.2 the boy cannot even end 1.2 in a year so everyone needs to be responsible the habits you are forming now will affect you in marriage point number what [Applause] is seven or eight seven okay next point who should run the family finances who is supposed to manage the family finances um the right thing is that whoever is more financially prudent should run it when we first got married we didn't have this kind of discussion so we just said we're running together everybody together together you know and i was a financial wreck one of the last points we'll talk about is to find your financial habits would i like it or not you have financial habits now if somebody got what i'm saying if you are always broke always begging always borrowing is a sign of your present financial habits it's not the devil it's not the economy it's not the government it's not satan it's a function of your financial what habits who is who should run the family finances whoever is better woman so when we got married like i told you we're just both great guys but i was financially reckless i didn't even know i didn't know i was just wasting money now the only good thing a bit about our own was that i also used to make money just that i was always blew it yeah so that would have this man they used to have this my habit of blowing money but they don't make money so that's a strain on your wife but my own was good i was making money only that as i make it i blew it so i had a very bad financial habits you know so um when we got married i was wrecked like i told you wedding we were planning wedding we're still begging the owner of this person that was renting out reception hall to give us this counter i now went to use the battery sound to use the bathroom do you guys let me let me go show me went downstairs now show dogs that they are selling somebody has not paid i came to people for reception for weddings we didn't have the money we didn't have the money for reception i booked through two dogs that was how i was you know how many of those people are incredible optimists they always believe money will come let's be eating let's spend this one on that one give us 10 000 money will come don't worry every single money what i get the enjoyment [Applause] it's not going together what i'm saying please don't try that rubbish [Applause] we went downstairs to ease ourselves i went i went to the guy my wife wasn't was obsessed so she found out we're staying long stay long she came down to look for us so that we're already pricing dog i booked two so on our wedding after i believe after reception after honeymoon they delivered two dogs i didn't even buy one i said if i buy one to be lonely so i bought two c you must cut your taste some of you know you have those kind of bad financial whether they are male or female you just like buying things any new hair is out you must buy any new earrings out of us buy they are passing by selling something you don't have you say okay i'll pay you small small you are incurring depth on a family that is just fragile that is new that can't carry the weight see anybody can marry because the taste people have you know that people that any fifty thousand they are married yes in this nigerian not i know them like this they put any hundred thousand they are married and they even have children it's about cutting your taste your problem is norman it's your taste if you can cut your taste you can live very well it's somebody getting what i'm saying so i was a wreck financially i was making money i was spending and i discovered that whenever i needed money emergency two direct lives they always needed the emergency money everything comes as a shock today yeah because they don't plan school fees come as a shock now strength comes as a shock you don't do you know now you don't do so i just discovered that any time i needed money emergency my wife always had money that's how do you have money now that's okay borrow me you'll give me another thing i was having something she has and i found out that this woman is always having money i mean i never have money even though i make a lot of money so it occurred to me that she's a better financial manager you know those people that when you're in primary school or secondary school during break everybody goes to buy something but they will keep their own biscuits you know all of us have eaten our biscuits during break and drank our mineral the last lecture of the day where this time of the day yes at the back and they are eating there because much that they always have in marriage i told you i think i told you last time i came that they always save us suspenders she's an incredible saver so i found out that it's better to have money and not release than to need money i mean i was the club of needing and not having and she was a club of having and she always had tomorrow she's going to talk about she's going to talk about their money personalities tomorrow that's why you must invite people here tomorrow she's going to talk about money personalities that me i'm going to also talk about how to release your faith and i'll pray for you you'll see billionaires and multi millionaires will rise from here in the name of jesus listen very carefully you'll be the youngest millionaire in your family i kid you not i kid you not i'm going to pray for you and show you in scripture i've i've seen young guys do big things legit you don't have to do for one night if he'll be chasing you nonsense you make money with peace the blessing making rich and added no sorrow so don't miss tomorrow for anything and call people text people carry people here tomorrow somebody gets what i'm saying we're on a mission here this weekend so i was reckless like that wasting money and i found out she always had money and it now occurred to me that look if these girls have money better to vote to manage our money it means we will always have money and since that time brethren my life has never remained the same i put it to you that we have money now before only i had money now we have money praise god now we actually have money now my account is fine you know what your account is where you look at your hub you don't have even though there's probably the world but you look at your car you're smiling like mclean toothpaste yeah because i have to trust her with the finances so now before we do anything she must give the go ahead and you know save us no matter how excited you are savers are never excited see this thing is cheap it's our sale this is the last one they have in the whole world don't buy this one that's it same but they don't spend no matter what but we spend us they always wasting our money they say this the last one is on sale it's half the price if you after this good thing is never finished so you must cut your spending look for people you can that can hold you accountable financially now start now to change your spending habits somebody get what i'm saying so who should manage the money at home whoever is more financially prudent whether or not all right okay so since i stole you about that part let me tell you about how it is how you can deal with a reckless spouse when it comes to money okay thank god is the one that shared our story so um the truth is that at that time for those all those years and it was a long time because people i mean it was a long time it was a miracle we didn't fight and we didn't call her interesting yes it was a miracle because it was a long time he didn't get it for a long time basically was very reckless i mean there were times when we could when we got married things were really we didn't we didn't start out with money we didn't start out in wealth we didn't have so much um i just finished my master's at that time so i didn't have a job and then he um he was working as a pastor but church wasn't paying him the salary so he was literally living by faith you know whatever you know whatever you get that kind of thing and for some crazy reason i was okay you know so the thing also and i'm going to talk about that tomorrow the way you raise your children i was raised around money so money was a true i didn't see money as a reward i didn't see money as something that if i don't have it i was very comfortable with monies for for doing things which is why i'm such a spend as such a saver like one is for doing things for achieving goals it's for meeting needs it's not necessarily something you should worship that if you don't have you don't you know and if you have money you now want to do not want to reward yourself for what relax you know so that also helped me knowing that i can survive i didn't have an unhealthy relationship with money so when he when we got married um things were not so great but he was making some at some points downstairs making money um we went on silver bird and another time itinerary blew up and he became really popular at that time and all that and i remember that we had money but my husband always came up with one crazy dream or the other and because he's a speaker he has this habit of being able to convince you to do he will give you scriptures he will give you faith is it so he said i don't fit you don't have it yeah i'm like i have faith but this thing will not go by him so initially i didn't recognize it let me be fair i didn't recognize it as him almost borderline being manipulated because he can't talk you into doing pass kick or talking to doing anything so the first time when he wanted to buy those dogs when i came there he was saying he needs dog dog is nice as well we also have a dog in the family blah blah blah talk talk is okay i don't like dogs but i'll do this for you but let's buy one ah no no no no no you can't buy one dog you say ah it will be lonely and if it's lonely can die on time all kinds of he told me all kinds of things i said ah yes we're having dogs since so it's not today's diving dog that did i have that i didn't have to say that's why i don't know that there have to be two and you know this one they flew them in from the uk and so they are brothers ah you can't say praise expensive dogs so my husband shall got his way and bought that one now what annoyed me about those dogs was that they were very very not not expensive they were very reckless so they would enter our home and tear these trophy laws there was one day that time we managed i managed to believe god for money could come back our you went upstairs to sleep that hour today i was surprised my husband came down and said they had nicked my pots clean they would climb on the gas because uh corporates you know the two of them cooperating one would lift the cover up inside they've you know so there were things like that and when i was just surviving that one my husband comes back one day and says to me that oh um you know these ones are pit bulls they are too rugged that he just bought he's just someone lassa it's very cute ah that will be fine i see he convinced me that this one this one will breed we'll sell leads i say okay no problem we took down three dogs abby one day my husband went out came back i carried one scene i don't know what is elephant i think i'm moving to the next point now move to the next point i don't know whether it's elephants i don't know what it was that's later that i now thomas a south african bubble he was bringing in color when do you think stands this he stands for success massive dog i see where did you he said the dog i know that i got a deal that the dog is 250k but somebody gave him a good deal how is it a deal so he shall psych besides me psyche me that seed is a deal they want in a lifetime deal this is the purebred one is this easy shot talk talk talk i didn't ask too many questions after where they now came after that they said that the dog does not eat normal food that there's one particular uh factory that you have to go and buy in dummy residue there's a way to mix it and then you must give it one full thai sauce every day i say titles that we used to eat two days or three saves i will give the dog only one titles and truly if you give the dog food without tithes it will go like this and walk away ah so as if these things continued i was reckless from there he liked tennis he was like pool then he bought a pool table then he said ah that bootable cannot be cannot enter our house we have to be outside then he cannot be in the rain now he has to build the carport for it then the carport is not it's not covering fully like crazy things and he would he would really i think he would pull all his into convincing me and all that so after a while and i realized that no this thing is not going to work so i started doing a couple of things another thing i want to quickly run through for you in case you find yourself in that situation which i pray you not if you are single walk away if you are married you can do this things okay so the first thing was i started praying i said first of all praying about this situation like ah let's be like this is how this man doesn't spend any money god are you dead you're not doing anything so i said praying about it and i separate for him because i needed him to be able to i didn't have him to be receptive to when i want to talk to him you see why you don't want firewood to catch fire you wet it well well so i wet him in prayer so that when i want to tell him he will not take it the wrong way you you know sit down and just put hand in your mata because we had a great relationship we're not going we're not fighting this it was painting me but i didn't i didn't want i didn't want the atmosphere of my home to change because we're great friends we played with talks i didn't want to teach you i'm telling you something when i start you know nothing you're challenging me i can't do all those things that sit down and just put in his head are you not the head why actually talking to you there's all those things i'm not doing this so i stopped praying i prayed about it the second thing was i realized that i needed to have conversations with him whenever i was doing this thing i had to bring it to his attention i had to stop indulging it some of us are feeding that habit so when he comes and says oh put i say we are not buying poo table you say i know see honey wait you don't understand that last one was not original i said well you said you wanted it we bought seats and it didn't work out we're not buyings again now it's my turn to want something you say hey okay what do you want i say i will buy something before you buy another i mean i'll never buy anything so that's kokuma a scout suit so i had to pray god gave me wisdom and i started having those conversations when if you don't do this you know you want diabetes you know you won't and he he was a big deal so obviously having those conversations have those conversations and don't bring from an emotional point of view be a bit logical have your facts so i have to bring facts you say and he never remembers these things me when i say she buys two dogs i say sir you actually i gave him the dates the times of what you said rain was falling i told him like you have to bring your strong reasons so have those conversations don't make them emotional don't make it about don't attack the person you must confront but lovingly okay whether it's male 1 because some women who have this habit every ash would be you must buy every wife every header passes the new phone they are deceiving what are they changing this iphone now the next wise one they will add one dot somewhere even car they will change lights they say steal mother house side mirror hey so i had to have in those conversations that this is not going to work it's not sustainable and because i had prayed he was more receptive even though he still transformed me say hey okay [Applause] okay then the next thing is you need to protect yourself okay if you are if you are living with someone who is reckless with money you need to find a way to protect yourself so for us we started doing what we call spending money so because all our money is together i also say okay spending money take this money i take this money and then that's spending money i will still go and save my own because i needed to be safe like i felt we needed to have an emergency fund anything can happen thankfully at the time we didn't have kids imagine if we had kids we shouldn't understand faithful they are hungry they are hungry they want to use pampers they want to use pampers you can say be be clean in jesus name then you change diapers you pay school fees so for me i had to have an emergency fund so i had to have savings now the times he was saying when he needs money it was always about something that was major and something that i knew was really important i remember there was one time he really needed money to add up to he was trying to buy land at that time i don't know whether i was because of investment i was just excited because some games will just be exciting so you want this violin i was reading it's okay i have to balance for you and you are shocked so those kind of things that would bring our money other than that we don't have sir you don't have it's not spending is saving okay so i had to have you know protect yourself um and another thing is if it's a joint account and you know his request make sure it's not either to sign both of you must sign both of you must agree before any money moves out okay um for us i get all the alerts so he can't make any transactions without me immediately money moves like what's this what happened he doesn't get any alerts i don't know why trust me so much doesn't get any less but i guess i let he can't make any financial decisions alone and we always make sure that all our big bills are paid first so before i start doing any less parents spoofies before you start flexing so make sure that all of that another thing is please make sure you plan your income don't leave any money lying around that is not useful if you just leave money lying around he will spend it or she will spend it okay so make sure to call every money's name another thing is put aside flexing money for them if your mind to a spender it can be really frustrating and cagey so so what i used to do was if he had been good in court for a long time i would a treat so i remember there was one year he wanted this power bike and he had preached up this same one about this power bike we had gone to the uk look for it went to dubai look for it well after i talk talk talk talk talk i just said let's buy the power he was so happy was so excited and then after that he gave himself for a long time because every time he looks at the bike he's like okay this is the money because i may declare that this money if we didn't save this money now you need to buy this bike do you see and the bike fits you see us with right yes you know i i would just meet you i started learning sweet mouths i stay hyping him swanny so sometimes just we kind of like a reward okay it encourages them to stay um faithful um another thing is um like i said before please ensure that you're not fully these things like if you know this person has your mumu button because perhaps okay like pascal's this month he can psych me you know and and decreases a lot of times when he's doing another psyche i know it's like him i just allow him okay but i had to at some point put my foot down that no we're not going to do this but always respectfully okay it's very important that you must be respectful about it whether it's a husband or a wife you're talking to okay be very respectful and finally make sure that the things you are seeing in your husband you are correcting your children so that you don't give another woman this heart attack that you are receiving now make sure your children have better financial intelligence they have better relationship with money they have better spending habits so you teach them it's not everything i don't believe any human being should spend everything they have how how any money that could even give me 1k i will still save 600.99 somehow they must be if it's not a life or death situation a lot of things that you think you can't do without yes i'm telling you a lot of things and i learned this when we were we didn't have so much money maybe i'll talk about that tomorrow there are so many things that god helped me there are times when i would just what we have in here is flour pepper and salt i will cook something out of that flour you'll be amazed i still pray in tongues over food and the food will come out sweet it's not you have chicken snail some people have everything chicken snail crab shrimp prawn this food douglas is sweet yes so it's not by that so there's some things that you can do without as much as we want as much women want to dress many things not every see you can mix and match you wear clothes people would think it's a new one so it's wisdom much more than money that you even need when it comes to marriage yeah you didn't put also demonstrate the benefits of oh i was trying to do that more okay let me do it quickly since you've said it okay so another thing is make sure that you project so demonstrate the benefit so what i did instead of nagging him and telling him you're spending my time i started saving intentionally so that anytime he needs money i would give him to show him this is the life of his saver if you would just save will be like this so at some point what i started doing also was i started saving for him so i now had an arrangement with our accountants that once money comes in money is to come in so when money comes in like this this is the amount you must take out every time when it comes in i said this is the amount you take out that it's large enough to save and so small for him to notice so she said you need we did this thing for almost one year before pastor k now caught us you know i said what what to do why are you moving this morning so the girl and i said i think you should talk to person so he now comes to me and says no it says what do you mean by that she now says i suppose somebody said i should move it you know doesn't buy anything but i'm noticing that this money is going frequently or every week this particular amount of money is going what's going on so he asked me i said well mr don't die for secrets i'm saving money for you so he asked me how much the money was and it had come to a considerable amount it was so blown away that you were able to save millions i said yes he said and i didn't know oh yeah now let's start so he now got you know it was now a challenge for him like hey this one i didn't know so yeah now let me now saving money that i would notice and then so we started saving money when i have a system that there's a certain amount of money that he never touches so that's why he's happy now very happy i'm very very happy i kid you not so now with his permission yes we are now doing but i took it took me a while there were days where i was frustrated but i had to do it god's way fighting never gets anything done yeah that's the truth fighting never done it there's a saying i had many years ago it says that war never proves who is right only who is left and that thing i translated into my marriage is never about you know fighting to win the argument fight to win the agreement fight for your marriage so i knew that this man this is this challenge i can't help i'm not going to complain about it i'm going to do something about it so we started working and today he's even i think he's he's almost even now more of his spending saver safe because now i spend on our children yes i love saving now after i've seen the benefits yeah so now he saves it he has converted me praise god and lastly in closing we'll take like five questions before we go like i said tomorrow don't miss tomorrow but in closing last point here always be on the same page whoever you're getting married to be on the same page as regards money talk about money you know talk about dreams and goals don't save because of fear many people say for the rainy day it's already raining save that's one of the lions used to use those days already yes jesus [Laughter] save for say for goals and projects and plans it's better to save for something that you're saving out of fear all right you guys come together that's why we did the couples game we did many couples are actually on the same page we need to know how much as we are here now we know how much we are trusting god for there's a figure we are trusting god for and every time we achieve that goal we sit on that goal so we're not saving out of fear that nigeria is scattered i don't have mommy energy i don't have a problem do you understand somebody gets what i'm saying don't say for the rainy day it's already raining what you need to do save for a plan okay we want to want to buy a house you want to buy this want to hit this amount on our savings account so save towards something you know because i met one man in the mall one time and said ah pass okay what's your program he said where's your wife go away together anymore she was buying something ah said she's buying something ah you left thailand to go and buy something i said yes say when she finished the money i said she won't because you already have a budget we have a plan many men don't carry their wives along in terms of the plan you just want to save say if i tell i want you it is no no don't just hide the money because you eat it give her a big picture give her a vision if she if she catches the vision she will save more than you don't just say hey i'm saving tell her look we're having to buy a house honey i want to build your house and in that house you have your own room where your clothes will be you have a place where your shoes will line up you know yes and you and the wardrobe you have but impressive your shoes will just come out like this you have the bubble batter jacuzzi when you paint the picture to her now your children will have their own room who call it you know boys room girls room and your kitchen like this and you're pitching there will be an eye line the middle there'll be this there'll be that by the time you paint that because she will say more than him amen but many men are not casting vision so be on the same page check each other's financial habits check each other parents financial habits because most times you inherit some of those habits from your parents if you grew up in poverty you would love money because here you see money here you want to spend ten thousand then you want to finish it you know you have all those mindsets you know if you're rich too you have your own mindset because for some rich people going on vacation is not luxury it's part of life i want to go on vacation to a poor person go to pictures ah so you have to discuss those things check each other's financial habits be on the same page matthew 18 he said whatever two shall agree upon shall be established there's nothing we've agreed about that has not happened especially our financial goals tomorrow we'll share a bit more about that praise god were you blessed tonight hallelujah praise god all right before we pray for you today like i said tomorrow don't miss tomorrow for prayer i want to take five questions just five we'll take five then we'll pray praise god you marry a boss and you also marry a ruth i know i do next in our lineage in the name of jesus so we'll take five questions pastor are you going to write it going to do it for us just five all right if we don't take a question today we'll probably have time on that they will do it but i'll take five animals the financial related don't just ask me where should i find a husband that's not what i'm asking that's not today's topic all right just five solid ones somebody already threw five solid financially related somehow so that we can address it don't forget our books are out there make sure i pick it up there will be a blessing tomorrow we'll do some book signing after the service how many people are coming tomorrow i'm about to bring in somebody tomorrow bring someone everybody should bring some i want the whole hall to be jammed tomorrow okay so we'll take just five questions please raise your hands quickly the first five there's one elite there one i think you stand up pink yeah really pink there's one brown please stand up just stand up two another guy at the back let me stand up so we have three already four and who's number four there's one there number four please stand up stand up if i point at you who's there already please write it down give them shits or can they ask it verbally it's faster okay just come on so that you can come and ask about it that would make it faster yes that'll be faster now come out five sharply so you ask those five questions at once at once um good evening church good evening pastor emma pastor kay my name is kmb so the question is because i noticed most of the time that pastor k would ask pastor m when he needs some monetary help and she would is it a bad thing for pastor m to require the money to be paid back to her or just oh i needed money you gave me let it go is it a bad thing for her to insist that she gets the money back all right very good question are you a lawyer she's a lawyer i've done this job a while i've done this job in a while so thank you do you want to ask one after the other side funnily enough i never requested but because it's our money okay that's how i see it's covenant so it's hundred percent our money and any money i'll just take it i don't so but i know that some families are very they're very legalistic like that so they have an agreement you borrow money if if you know it's really going to upset your partner but the original and the right thing biblical thing is that the money belongs to both of us so i'm borrowing money from myself i'm not going to pay myself but i mean so but for a lot of families i know that they're not afraid they're not they're free with money so they want their money back so and um they have to have an agreement before they start borrowing this money yeah so that is easier okay the one minute and you know we mentioned that it's not by law it's by love so what would love do all right however sometimes asking him for that or him or her for that money will help them become more aware you know and responsible so i get what you're saying so you have to do what location serves you at the time depending on what stage you guys in she she would never ask she's not like that she'll never ask me all right but in some cases truly you need to let the person be accountable so that they won't see this lifestyle so anytime i come out just waste money so i get what you're saying so do association serving in those cases but they must have the conversation beforehand so that yes it won't cost correct after you must have a conversation i'm giving his money i'm expecting it back yes in some but i get your point i get where you're coming from yes follow sorry if like for example if he requests and i give to him and i request and i give to him is it okay for me to say i can't give you because most of the time i've been giving you but never give me back yes sometimes you need to do that if you notice she mentioned things like that she did things stop feeding not feeding that bad habits yes so it's like water in a basket that's not it's not it's a money problem yes you understand sometimes give them money say mine you need to deal with them why is this happening so a person can't do it you can be in that cycle forever yes so yes i think that's important that you there are times when i have to say no to him but i don't have it he helped me sometimes i say no we help the person yes [Applause] my name is christmas um christmas are you serious oh that's so nice this is the first christmas i'm here as a name any easter egg in the house [Applause] i'm serious i've never heard that name and i like it christmas okay i still want to clarify when it comes to that um yes my ideology um you just that they want that is is it clear to clarify yes okay my ideology why i said no joint account if that there should be a joint account but is it right for me even when we have a joint account is it right for me to have a personal account that he knows and he also knows the amount inside yeah and it does not stop me from if i'm not touching the joint account i can still take money from there and do something for the family oh yes yes yes so okay no go ahead no no no no no we didn't have time to expand on all that but um that's that's okay as long as a general uh pool of money um there are some couples that both spend from the same place or sometimes they share spending money so that if you want to do some sort of things you don't have to stop the whole account to do that so yes you can have those small accounts by the side where so what we say is is that a joint account or joint accountability so if you have a salary account for instance it can be a joint account you have to pay only you that account so i have to just trust what you're doing you have to be accountable with this is the money they've paid me this is how much i put in our savings account this is how much i'm spending for food so in that case what we have is joint accountability not necessarily a physical joint account do we understand guys we didn't have time to go into that so there's nothing wrong with that yes you know it's just like you were fighting your husband before you came oh yeah good evening yes thank you very much sir so i follow you a lot and i see this as so that's why you follow me here oh yeah go ahead unfortunately thank you very much thank you so about 10 hours or 11 hours ago we posted something on facebook so responsibility is what differentiates fake love from real love so my question is how can we use finance or at what point can we use our finance to show that we really love the person especially in relationship good i i answered those things here that's why i said i was able to differentiate fake love and just feelings here definitely um giving um part of love you must give all right so um again it's not by law it's by love i can't tell you that this is the day you will start doing it when there's real love it shouldn't be a command or a struggle it should flow naturally and that person shouldn't be entitled to think that you must pay my transport that's that's a rescue that's charity this is a rescue case no it should be out of the abundance of what is flowing all right but this book will help you answer those questions here thank you good question you guys are not clapping all right yes good evening summer good evening my name is odafa izabet and my question goes to us is it right to save for a particular um plan or purpose and in achieving that plan go broke is it okay and that's how all of us got here now yes now of course now if you're starting live from zero you don't have a sponsor or rich parents or whatever somebody in your lineage has to do that for prosperity to start so all of us got here like that all right when we're saving for something big wait i'm going to share some stories tomorrow make sure you come tomorrow why we're even saving to seoul we if you give with me rice bag of rice at times so of course it's very it's the pattern of all the bleach we are seeing somewhere along the line somebody had to sacrifice yes that but once you achieve the goal the money will start flowing and you won't even remember the sacrifice so you are very on point bless you elizabeth okay good evening pastor yes my name is kenneth and my question is um in relationship you talked about investing and letting your partner know what you are trying to do with the money yes now there are there are some partners that don't understand investment and then when you are trying to explain it to them it looks like you are dripping them or you are trying to be a criminal so how do you deal with such partners that they are maybe the way they grew up their family or family background or something they don't understand investment and business so how do you deal with such a partner okay one house guys hold us no so is it relationship or marriage relationship and the money is your money or two of you own the money your money personally angry are you sending your money [Applause] we talked about trusting someone with your money yes yeah i know okay the person is not good in keeping money so he lets the person handle it for him but found out that the mindset or the person has about investment is not what you have and it feels like okay you want to take that money to go and spend not to really invest so how do you check okay what you have there is not a money problem is a mindset and a trust problem so that's what you should address if two of you are not on the same page financially and that's a big problem because this program continues forever so carry her along see what i can teach her show her these things she can start and it's your money really so just teach show explain if you can't explain enough photography to be on the same page then you have a serious problem at your hands no money money is not your problem understanding and um compatibility is the real problem you guys are on the same page and the problem will linger throughout your lifetime so you may need to make some very hard decisions would you want to go ahead with this and be like this forever or do you want to just back up because two cannot work together they are great yeah all right okay good evening i have many questions but i'll try and ask you a swan the only one i want to ask is you said that we should ask uh we should be asking questions to know about the financial how people spend money before you get into the relationships but most days trying to ask most questions it seems like you're just being rude or you're prying too much into someone's personal so how exactly do you not non-rudely ask those questions so i think that first of all the the reason why this is an issue is that you're not friends if someone is your friend it's easy to ask them or to even sometimes it's not even asking it it's more like observing so i think ask the questions is look out for the answers is what we're really saying so if this person is your friend it shouldn't be a problem but usually people don't have that level of friendship that's why they feel that there's a problem their friends you have that there's nothing you can ask them so work on the friendship then it will be easy secondly do more about observing because sometimes when you ask questions people give you the answers you want to hear so it's important that you just look out for these things how does this person spend money is this person always broke um are they always buying things that they don't need can you survive being in a relationship with this person understanding how they live with money how they see money how their habits are is this something you want to deal with for the rest of your life is this something you would like your children to pick up you know there's some questions you ask yourself why you go somewhere how do they act around money if you even maybe don't have the money to pay for something for them today or do they expect that you will pay are they entitled so those are those things that you will see for yourself it's not really a question of asking it like you know it's an interview all right were you blessed this evening come on give the lord a big hand give it a big

Channel: mildred kingsley-okonkwo

Views: 128,575

Keywords: mildred kingsley-okonkwo, pastor mildred kingsley-okonkwo, pastor m, pastor mildred

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Length: 130min 32sec (7832 seconds)

Published: Fri Apr 15 2022