The Real Meaning of "I Do" | mildred kingsley-okonkwo

there's so many things that god has laid in my heart and i'm going to try to keep it simple and keep it very short how many people know that things are only hard if you don't understand them you know that if you see someone driving a car you don't know how to drive you'll be feeling like ah you must be a lot the person is turning your place is moving like this the person knows when to traffic get or signal ah busy but when you learn how to drive after a while you realize that it is one of the most mindless things you're not even thinking you're just moving the only reason why it seemed hard before was that you didn't know what to do and that's the same thing about marriage too a lot of people think marriage is hard because they don't know what to do mind is one of the easiest things the only problem is that we usually don't know what to do so today what i want to share with you are the things that you have pledged to do when you say i do because a lot of times i go for i mean we conduct weddings i even attend weddings and i see a lot of people they will come to the front they say do you take this man i do do you play to do this and submitting all things you're going to be drinking into his eyes i do first of all now say we can't hear you she said i do they said you promised to forsaken all others as what as long as you shall leave the mountain say i do but i say a little bit louder if i do can we give jesus a big hand everybody be clapping two months later you now start hearing pastor i can't i can't i'm done and i don't know why it is that when they want to break up he's going to be speaking nonsense for me i can't i'm out pastor no you don't understand i really i can't do this anymore and i know i said this everywhere i go but it always makes me laugh when people say they are done how two months marriage how are you done is it not something they put on fire that can be done we have never washed beans my mother is smelling i do i can never seem to understand that thing the reason why most of us grew up in balanced homes was because our parents were strong enough to do marriage the right way now marriage they may have had principles that we do not agree with but a lot of those principles are the principles that help them they knew what they were getting into so a lot of times when people say things like oh marriage our parents might they didn't know each other how come nigel's lasting they may not have known each other but they told her when she was going that you see this man that you are going to start when you get there you will respect him you will cook for him you will sleep with him you will have his children you will train yourself do you understand yes draw your ear remember the family you are coming from you're not going to disgrace us say yes then they will tell the man you see the small guy that i come to give you now you will pay her school fees you will train her you will have a house rent you will not beat up they understood what they were getting into maybe they didn't have the full picture but they knew everybody understood clearly what their roles and their assignments where everybody understood clearly what their needs were so they entered with eyes open maybe they do fully understand it but with eyes open now our eyes are full for that sense and we think that love is what makes a marriage work love is the least factor in marriage the least so the first question to ask yourself is what is marriage to you one of the things i learned a long time ago marriage is not a reward it's an assignment a lot of us think and you know i know that people think might be the reward have you seen those guys on social media you've been dating the guy for 17 years then he gives you a ring and then you're saying oh my god oh my god is he like what's he like exactly what's part of it that after 17 years he decides to man up or the fact that god is sending you to one work because sometimes i feel like they don't ask questions ask people they have gone ahead of you what do they do in marriage she said oh my god oh my god it's in lie he's a lie and because you have no idea what you're going in to do you mess it up that's the real issue with a lot of marriages today so the first things was your definition of marriage so you're getting married do you think the way you're celebrating you think is because god wants to reward you no god wants to send you errand you understand so you are not married because you are the most beautiful girl you are not might because you are the most qualified you are might because god has one of his sons or one of his daughters that he has a destiny for and he's looking for who to partner with him to make sure that you fulfill that destiny so marriage is a journey of destiny that's what marriage is it's not a reward it's an assignment so that's why you can't be jealous that they send someone on errands before you [Applause] that's the first thing you need to know the marriage is not a reward it's an assignment it is a partnership in fulfilling destiny if you understand that marriage is more for god than for you you will honor marriage more marriage is not about oh we love each other marriage is that we have chosen to honor god with our lives and our destiny and we have chosen to partner together to do it when i was getting married i had no i had no disillusions at all i knew clearly what i was going into i had prayed and i had heard god in fact my story is a long story so i didn't want to use my time for that today but those that not heard my story i had been in a relationship for five years and then god says the man you are with is not your husband and we are done with reduction annie was a doctor in the abroad about some of you are looking at me you know i like with something because they didn't release word for me don't you think i don't want you that are speaking for them oh hi mom all those kind of things i planned my life and then god now says the man yeah with let me show you how planned my life was when he was going took some of my teams with him so that when me i'm coming my lord would be reduced and then god now said the maya which is not your husband and when he now showed me that when i was married is a pastor see when i was when i was in ife why would you say those things oh it seems like you have a classic call call marriage even the person that gives pastor water i don't want to lay minister for one no do you understand part time i don't want like there's a way you'll be giving pastor water because that's really what happened when they were looking for prophets they say oh there's no prophet oh but there's somebody else to pour water they say surely the word of the lord must be him meaning that if personal travel they can say oh you know what i could stand here many people are still passing by come my app will stand here i see me i'm not pastor's wife material at all i'm not gentle i'm not here bless you you offend me i will pray on your head so you know i just knew i wasn't and i'm not that yes i am gentle but i i hate injustice so you know person's wife they can't tolerate injustice you've been maturating them they'll just be saying lord bless you i know that i'm not really like that if not for the holy spirit so i was like ah god you can't do this to me and then it was my pastor wasn't any salary god said you are going there to live by faith i say holy spirit why are you like this can't you just let me enjoy smalling this life that's okay and then you carry me from my job what are life that's anything that i did i've just called my dad daddy i need this my father would send the money my mother was sending money the united [Music] but god was states clear so i cannot tell you that i'm one of those people thinking what are we doing here i knew clearly what i was signing up for that's why no matter what this man does he knows that we're we're gone like super glue do you look like our celebrities when jesus comes jesus because when we see him we'll be able to see another person by the time we're so in love with jesus can't be you do you understand that's the only thing jesus is the only person that can distract me from this assignment because he's the one that sent me on the assignment so you must understand first of all that marriage is partnership in fulfilling destiny if you understand what it's about you can't say i'm done don't work don't saving god the same way you can't say i'm done i'm done i'm not born again again it's the same way you can't say i'm done i'm not marrying again but you know how it starts it starts from peaking right and ladies i must say this to you ladies you are the one that determines the outcome of marriage because you are the one who chooses love women act like they are helpless you are not helpless you have the power anybody can toast you anybody can tell you anything there people have to stay in this life there's one brother after i finished this i went to meet him secretly i said brother i'm begging you don't tell anybody you ask me out because you want to drop my rape you know i'm not i'm not angry with you can desire great things dreaming is free but don't say it outside i said because it doesn't even favor you because i said no so don't bring it off do you understand [Applause] but you have the right of choice so so when they come you ask yourself honest questions is this the kind of person i want to reproduce is kind because when you are choosing a spouse you are not just choosing a husband for yourself you are not just choosing a wife for yourself you are choosing a mother a father for your children so some people by selfishness have already destroyed their children's destiny so the prayer that you are praying in marriage is now prayer of fire and warfare and brimstone when you should be praying prayer of thanksgiving see the person you marry determines whether you get a prayer partner or a prayer point if you marry a troublesome spouse you have called you have been called into a life of prayer all of us are called your life of prayer but your own name is different because well some of us are praying for favor for blessings for promotion you are praying father do it do it or take him away do it do it or take him away i know we made that prayer for the husbands who died so that it would be peaceful he said separate lots a lot must go so you determine the outcome of your marriage you choose i don't understand how a christian listen if you're a christian marry a christian it's not rocket science if you're a christian you cannot marry a non-believer it doesn't make any sense i have never met any human being how many of you want to pick a husband or wife you go to much worry you mean you can't go to mature and pick dead body are you serious if you find that body that they did embalmed and did make up you don't like so why are we doing it now because if someone is not born again they are spiritually dead so how you marry the cops and listen if you marry someone you are in their family the father of an unbeliever is satan your father-in-law must visit you you can't tell him not to come to his son's house and when he comes he will come with gifts and because he he's big in his kingdom he will come with entourage he will come with his demons they will come with sickness they will come with quarrel sometimes that demon of just slapper went on him to slap her she woke up this morning and she's thinking praise this slumber just say the way you are loud in the morning when i'm sleeping what can you do nothing what do you do you go and pray is that really the life you want if you're sitting beside a woman tell her you have a choice use your choice wisely so you can determine how your marriage outcome will be do you want to be a single parent i was doing i mean there's nothing wrong with if it if it is something that you did not i mean people people end up single parents not sometimes not by choice maybe the guy walked away he didn't want to take responsibility or man died or there are so many reasons but for you to be your husband to be alive are you a single parent is it what's not come to you oh you don't know that happens i remember one one year i was doing a worship concert and usually there's a worship conference so at a worship conference god usually asked me to pray for certain people so some years he asked me to pray for those trusting god for a fruit of womb some years asked me to pray other people so that year in particular i said i should pray for um single mothers that they should come out i saw married women bouncing out huh i near one i say she's everything i don't want no man a big gummy single very popular man christian woman she said waiting these are this is another comeback mama please pop blessing on my head let me be let me correct grace to pass to parents my children do you know what it means for you to wake up every sunday morning you dress your children you're going your father just say yes come come churches for women come on come on go buy beer for me downstairs and let your children grow up thinking that church is for women or you want to give in church you will preach same one to your wife you will bring this brings your strong reason your weak reason just want to obey god so it starts from the choice that you make tell the ladies sitting beside you that they have a choice tell them use your choice wisely don't let people deceive you these days what's happening is that everywhere you go people are laying married from social media you can't let marriage from social media because social media did not start marriage god started marriage and the principles that guide marriage must be gotten from god so you need to be careful what you hear and what you are listening to and who you are listening to when god came to adam and eve in the garden and he ran away he said adam where are you adam say i i found out i was naked so i went to hide he said who told you and that's my question today who told you the things you are listening to who told you who told you marriage is bad do you know that's a sign of the end time that people stop preaching our marriage is bad please let me put up festival t43 who told you the things you are saying who told you that there's no hedge that there's no order in marriage because i hear those kind of things these days why should they say man is the head because the bible clearly states that the man is the head of his wife and god expects you to submit to your husband i will get there i'll quickly run through those things look at it give me from verse came from verse one in fact let me run through from verse one you'll be amazed at some of the things you see some things that god has already got is one man so he already knows what will happen see from verse one he says now the spirit speaks expressly that in the latter times some shall depart from the faith giving heed to seducing spirits and doctrines of devils speaking lies in hypocrisy having their conscience seared with a hot iron forbidding to marry that's where you start your things on social media marriage is not even by first made marriage is not by force you just never said it was by force but if you're going to do marriage you say let me tell you he said no everyone will marry some are born as enochs if your body is doing you gizkis you are not born an innocent one marry and marry well when people have made a mess or something they will not start going on social media men has come men has come men i don't even know which one is this call must come they are shackling men all kinds of things because they have made a mess of marriage they did not pick well you cannot be a christian or marry an unbeliever and expect your believer to act like a christian that's madness for so many christian girls do it and i'm shouting christians because you are the one that determines nobody minds at gunpoint if you say no money you're going to stand another person men do even have time oh men don't have time you you marry me no will you ma tomorrow after you say no tomorrow and you say he'd even beg me no you didn't beg you men mean what they say and they say what they mean when you marry me simple question you say no he believes you which one is that he didn't beg me so if we go and talk to your sister because he tried here maybe the lord is speaking within the family maybe i didn't yeah well uncle will move to your sister now play with men so everyone made a mess of mind and they start talking and complaining but my question is who told you what you believe where are you getting what you believe are you getting it from the word of god because what you are hearing determines your outcome and it determines the authority behind it so if god is saying that marriage is good he says two are better than one for they receive a good reward for their labor tells you marriage is good he says might is honorable in all things that no way in the bible that might be spoken about that says anything bad says two are better better is good now maybe it is not good for the man to be aluminium it is it is better for him to be married so let me give you a few things a few things that you are when you say i do these are the things you are saying we do so i run man and woman i will maybe give one one each for the main one for the women so the first one men when you say i do you are saying i we do i will love her give me ephesians 5 25. and you see what i love about god is very clear god doesn't wonder you're fake for one i love i love you do anything for you or die for you he doesn't want that fake one so he said instead of you to just be saying you let me give you a standard because men learn more from what they see than what they hear men learn more from watching other people than from this talk that i'm talking so god says normally you are going to deceive so i'm going to show you see ephesians 5 25 he said husbands love your wives even as who as christ did what loved the church and did what gave himself for it what does that that tells you immediately that god is saying what you say i do you are choosing to love and that that counsels selfishness do you know that men are by nature selfish beings ah the average man except he is fully controlled by the spirit of god god dwelling on the inside of him around him above him with him around him except god is fully embodied in dwell in him i just have honor you didn't notice indwelt men are selfish a man will never do anything that does nothing for him ah because men are transactional if a man is marrying you let me guarantee you that is benefiting him ah it's only a woman that will see a man that is not working his leg is broken he doesn't have sense he doesn't have a behavior i should tell you i love him i'm sent to him a man can never do it never does he he has problem they don't come and carry problems men don't do it now women do it because we are not sure we just feel that if i love him he will change if i just talk to him because of the way he loves me he will do anything for me see men are very transactional if you ask a man why did you marry this woman he can tell you why very clearly either she's doing this thing for me she looks good on my hand or she makes me feel good about myself a woman's answer is i love him what does that even mean so god says let me help this man when you say you you're going to get married to someone it means that you are deciding to lay down your life it means that you no longer exist you will always put her above yourself he says as christ loved the church and let me tell you jesus he don't love us with words he do not send us with text message he did not do selfie with us he do not do those things jesus saw we had a need and he said the only way to fulfill this need is to die how did he die in favor of him nothing for him now favor also i know i was telling somebody recently that wickedness okay no it was must tell me i said you know i was just we were dressing i said i said wickedness is a lot of work do you understand it takes work to be wicked so i can never really understand wicked people people are wicked in this life and jesus that's why i can't no nobody can convince me not to save jesus let me tell you now do you understand that jesus sees the wickedness of man have you ever encountered people's wickedness do you understand people are wicked ah sometimes it scares me how even one day i think it was three years ago something happened something happened to me major and i was crying and i was saying god how can people be this wicked ah dude why are you telling me because he said why are you telling me like this now go read the bible i'm the one that said that the heart of man is desperately weak he's safe with me i said we can know it and you are not telling me as if you are giving me revelation our people are wicked though and jesus saw the wickedness of man and saving with all these people's bad behavior and their wickedness see me i don't have a problem with people's weaknesses i have a problem with their wickedness if you are if you have a weakness i can't be with you i can help you through it if you are wicked people are wicked jesus saw their wickedness and still died for them they use more bad behavior that your wife has smaller her baby is never complete it has not gone to wickedness his small bad behavior i say no i cannot cope with this one no you are going to your father's house i cannot say i cannot know what i signed up for so this is what you signed up for even as christ also loved the church and gave himself for it so when you say i do you are saying i'm ready to die for you whatever you need me to be for you i will be for you and this is a big deal for men because men are not created like that men are literally all man for himself god foresaw that's our men now ah you've got to sort yourself out if a man enters a house and there's one plate of food what will he do he will eat it you eat it and if he's in a good mood he will call you or more the food ready ass if you get plans arrange yourself but don't chop but if a woman comes home and there's one plate of food she will be hungry and start cooking she wouldn't want sinclair this one half power to cook she'll say let me be cooking first in case somebody comes in they can eat this one while they are down man you know what will remain for you at least uncle eat her family for me no so that's what you're pledging to do you are saying i'm going to lay down my life i'm putting aside selfishness i will think of you first if there's one kai in the house you will be driving the car i will be trekking till i have enough sense to burn down women celebrate now [Applause] so as a man the first thing you say when you say i do what you are saying is that i pledge to stop being selfish listen if all of us can do what we are supposed to do my head will be easy if as i'm thinking of you you are thinking of me what makes a man cheat on his wife selfishness he's not thinking about how she will feel and i'm an infidelity recovery coach i know how broken women are when their husband's cheat he's not thinking about her that time now he's not particular about jesus after we go back jesus now they forgive that's what happens but if we're all thinking you are thinking ah it's my wedding band ah my wife you stand up and tell the girl get you behind me sit down be going so the first thing as a man you're saying you would do is you will love men say i would love her. so christ said you why'd you find her single brother saying i will love her but say it again say i will i will love her and god being god he said he said he said no man he taught his own flesh so he who says you should love your wife the way you love yourself because god knows that you understand any other thing until i bring it back to you so for women first thing you say when you're saying you will you do what i do is you are pledging to help genesis 2 18 i read the amplified version it says now the lord god said so god had created man he said it is not good in other words it's not beneficial for the man to be alone he says i will make him a helper one who balances him a counterpart who is suitable and complementary for him so god god said i bring and god didn't just immediately say oh i would make a woman and then he just brought a woman no he said he didn't even say i'm going to make a woman he said make a helper so what you are created to do is to help so it always amuses me when i see women complaining about what they were brought to do you are created to help so that thing you're complaining about it means the man cannot do it so help him do it i know that we'll call it after finish preaching today but i'm going to tell you the truth don't complain about what your assignment is too many women are busy complaining about their husbands weaknesses that's what you are brought to do you have brought to help him you don't help him where you choose you help him where he needs help so don't complain about what you should be helping a man with and women are so guilty of this thing many many years ago god said something to me he said your job is not to train your husband it is to love him so your job is to love your husband and train your children not love your children and train your husband because too many women so many times were trying very hard to make the man what is what it cannot be this man that you met now that is almost 30 or maybe he's doing in his 30s this shout you are shouting now his mother has been shouting this since it did not work so what grace is it that you carry that you think will make the man change oh he loves me doesn't love his mother and she has been shouting since he didn't change that same thing you are complaining about oh my husband is too scattered he will come in and throw his clothes everywhere pick it eating that squirrel causing quality it's not it's not rich like that too he throws his clothes here don't complain because he will try it again tomorrow this energy you are using to complain it will be easier to pick it up that's why i say wickedness is it's stressful it's too stressful you trust the club pick it up because when your child puts the cloth on the floor you say oh genuine why are you doing this mommy doesn't like it why do you whisper your clothes on the floor don't be a naughty boy but your husband what kind of thing is this grandma like you cannot give clothing wardrobe i better pick something drama you're a slave but you will leave that room immediately and see junior juniors close everywhere mommy doesn't like this genius maybe he doesn't instead of you to have your husband then tell your son to pick so that the woman that we marry will be praying for you we are the ones that will we help the next generation everything you see that i'm sorry that the men in our own generation did not learn and me uh one of us got married that didn't shock me ah he shocked me because somebody does not say i'm sorry chevy were revealing our secrets you say i can't eat from fridge i was up when he was saying that just like don't worry sir i'll collect mike i'm coming he can't say i'm sorry we'll just be playing with you sir so you're not telling me sorry are we no okay you see one sorry i said yes because the story is my story oh the story does not belong to you give me my story let me sometimes if at some point i was so on the i'm sorry mata that i started telling him before your face man don't you need to tell me sorry you said so i say just give me because i will need it later i will hold my story down see this this life is not that hard you are the one taking marriage like he said do or die if he does not say sorry and he's playing with you he's sorry when he's now okay you cannot collect the sorry that i did not give you that time but if you insist on collecting it at that time it will cost square and your numbers you have time you have energy too much waste of energy so don't see don't so my son now i'm even afraid because i said oh mommy i'm sorry you know i love you i said but yeah i phoned him which one's i'm telling you i love you let me tell you what you've done mommy mommy you're very beautiful because i vowed and my my daughter-in-law will never complain that she doesn't hear i'm sorry now i just have to add that it will change because my son can tell you i'm sorry and move on i just need to add that in with chambers okay zone is changed do i apologize just change and be going so i have to merge the two so your assignment is to love your husband help him where he needs help stop complaining stop complaining you're not working in this house auntie if we grip ourselves ourselves you die brought to help me and i want to help you again honestly sometimes we need to just tell ourselves i know they are saying no distance on social media they are saying why should a man if a man is why can't he pack his place why not say he can't teach us help just help there's nothing wrong with honor just help and let me tell you the world is creeping into the church because the world is saying something does not mean it's correct the person shouting loudest is not always right if anything bible says that no it's not by police proverb hey now wow empty barrels my head empty bearers make the loudest noise you'll be shouting so everybody i'm that story pascal was saying that you're not ashamed it was my roommate that told me that you know that you're not ashamed of your virgin i say what what i should be ashamed that you ah my roommates are not like uh i said no we shout oh we will shout so that what people can hear us that me i should be ashamed uh-uh you you are doing bad thing you are no idea that me i should be ashamed it's the same way when i'm walking i go for my prayer works in the morning if you see when i'm praying i'm praying in tongues look at me i wanna sign you my calibur shatter you should not be ashamed of the gospel of christ for what that's good i don't know my husband and i'm not ashamed of it i submit to him i'm not ashamed of it i help my husband and i'm not ashamed of it people that say there's no idea you should not help you no no how are their marriages my own anything i want because people don't like truths all those people that are shouting on social media they will not send him dm so please i need cancer in my marriage i said sir let's put this thing public let's put it inside confidential sir they said we put the commerce and leave people are straight and they'll come to you secretly like nicodemus in the night so what's the details who are doing the lord what what is that the people you have led astray then who could know not to come to me i will publish it our job is to set people free praise god i have a few minutes so i'm still in number one there about two things that men when you say i do what you are pledging to do is to lead her is to lead her give me matthew 20 from verse 25. are we 25 to 28 you are saying you will lead her so what you are promising to do is to take the lead in all things leadership is responsibility it's not about position it's not the head of this home we need to meet no sir you also bring two money sir leadership is responsibility and leadership means that you take the lead in all things leadership means you serve thank god that we have a standard see verse 25 he says but jesus called them onto him and said you know that the princes of the gentiles exercise dominion over them and they that are great exercise of authority upon them this will now king james is adding he says but he shall not be so among you but whosoever will be great among you let him be your minister you know my bible king james can't hurt me what happened to a niv nltpt message he says if you are going to be a leader you must be a servant you must be ready to serve that's what jesus was saying here he said the world hey now do you see it now you don't know understand it you put on the person i like baboon something i'm joking hopefully so give me 25 let me really quickly 25 says but jesus called them together and said you know that the rulers in this world loved it over their people so when somebody's in leadership he said they flaunt the authority over those under them verse 26 but among you it will be different whoever wants to be a leader among you must be your servant so as the head when you are saying i do you are pledging to serve you are pledging to serve i want to help you but you can also save me sir sometimes just serve your wife my husband does it a lot who eats him just say don't ask his son don't pack my plate to say i can't help you but his mother was not in village i spark in my place but i'm just you must take the lead take the leading parents in parenting is not a woman's job it shouldn't be one-sided we should be partners in raising the next generation you should come and declare that this is what god told me about this child you are pregnant with that this will be his name this will be his future this is where those are the kind of men that god is talking about not i'm the head of this homo put to me to meet to me when i'm talking you don't talk there's no leadership there's no leadership that your wife can come to you as the priest of the home every time you know allah personally wants to sleep one day but somebody who sees his phone you're not lying to sleep every day sir we have problems but you are you're in the house sir your wife is calling person every minute [Music] god's plan is that you are in that home you should be there to preside as a priest over the home to provide direction provide and to protect i went it took me eight years to have my first biological child and those days i didn't have you know people say that in-laws come and give you allah whether they spoke to but okay why not i don't know never not once did anybody open their mouths and tell me anything that's hey what happened are we praying are we not pregnant the the first day my mother no even mentioned it i was just fat so i couldn't blame her so she saw me now said that that she thought i was pregnant where i was going to say hey mama what's that what's that bellendo they hide she born in gosam i was i was still trying to do ah honey you see you better keep watching you i'm fighting if i see yourself fight for me but not one person not one day for the eight years did anybody talk to me on the other hand my mother all i can say is i thank god i was not at the time that i was a daughter every morning what are you doing have you got to ask me to do you know so when she starts calling my phone like my heart will be beating my son say hello mommy we're fine no she can't come to the phone now like even protecting me from my own family that's leadership not that you are in that house your wife doesn't have a child they've come to park a load outside and you are there i say what will i do she's my mother he's my sisters i can't do anything my hands are tight so your eyes will be tied in the name of jesus that ship somebody will come into the house and slap your wife sir are you alive hi [Applause] they came to destroy your body and you are the head [Applause] [Music] so lead her lead her on the flip side on the flip side for the woman your job is to honor him to honor the man and with this honor i'm also talking about submission and i think i want to address this submission if that's where i end today that's fine because i think it's a major issue in the body today i hear too many people fighting about submission how would you say one should submit we didn't say a woman should submit god said and god did not say just go about and be submitting to all men that's not what god said god said you submit to your own husband that's what the bible says and the reason why god says you should submit it because you have the first right of choice you chose god said you know what you choose and then choose the person you can submit to nobody is going to force you all but when you choose you must submit to that person they you will not want to choose rubbish or as they taught me recently one church animus they say it's plurals you're not gonna pick that kind of thing and don't be complaining about submission there's nothing wrong with submission in fact do you know there's a woman you submit every day don't you do your hair when you go to the salon they say madam we want to wash your bed like this madam do like this we want to pass this side mother wait nancy keep your head straight though you know don't draw your don't draw your head back until you hold your head where do you you've not complained once why because you chose the hairdresser and you know the outcome of the hair will be what good you submit every day on the road traffic light will put red i believe your paper traffic closure boy you stop your car i've never seen you say rubbish why should i stop because i'm going to drive even if there's no traffic light i don't know why they call you business but in lagos last month last month don't stop you like this you will not submit how you know something that we thought you were in your car so this submission even in your office your boss is a wicked man you hate him but when he says tomorrow morning first thing in the morning we have a meeting in this office and i want that document on my table first in the morning what do you say yes you see it now did you not submit you say yes are you even yes now you now get home yes i wanna say uh that's you know that decision was hey please go i've had a very hard day at work man put the one person that you chose you're not saying you're not gonna submit to the real problem with submission let me tell you is that people pick wrong i have never had a woman who is happy in her marriage complaining about submission never a woman that is pampered well taken care of because she knows that the person she chose his decisions will always come from a place of love a man that would take care of you you say only where do you want to go for a holiday what's my answer whatever you choose sir why because i know he will pick what's best for me most times he will pick better than i would pick because his eye is really big not like my own i'm always doing less save money less than money when you pick someone that will take heavy that loves you he's easy to submit but when you go and pick rubbish and see and god has also given us the structure this thing is not rocket science see he said the head of the woman is man the head of the man is christ the head of christ is god there's an order you you want to be wiser than god you don't want to stay within the order you'll now step out and go and pick a man who his head is not christ you pick somebody who is heavy satan and then you'll not be doing rubbish and you say i can't submit of course you can submit because you chose rubbish if you pick a man who is submitted to christ then when the bible says that your submission is as unto christ your submission is actually to christ because he's submitted to christ so you know that every decision he's making is christ's decision his life on him because we are all submitted so i'm submitted to him he submitted to christ so in other words we are both submitted to christ he shows that destruction is getting to him first that's why submission is never about equality it's about ranking it's about order god wants there to be order god is not not of confusion that's what it's always always been about and that's what it will always be about so when people start telling you things like ah submission is not like that so submission let me tell you let me tell you the truth it's not even about value because we're all valuable to god it's about ranking an order it's like in the military i went to military secondary school imagine you give soldiers gone and you say anybody do as you like are you joking that's exactly what god did god gave every single one of us a gun and he says i don't want chaos so let there be ranking he's ranked him he's not we are all equal before god personally was prayer is no more answer than my own because he's a man we're all equal before god before god there's no male or female there's no greek or jew we are all equal but it's a matter of order order god wants that to be order so he said you know what i'm not going to choose for you you choose the person you can submit to it's like when i was growing up when my mother brings something home she said the older person should share and let the younger peak is that not fair that's fair so when you pick you must submit to that person you can't pick someone and be giving him allah i have never seen anybody enter a car and then after i say i don't like the way the driver is driving you're not start struggling staring at me what's that is it no accident it's accident and that's what's happening in the marriages today there are many accidents because people that are passing that seat want to be struggling with staring you have three options is it that you keep quiet and let the person drive and you'll be praying or you come down jail and say oh i'm not entering this guy again or from the beginning you pick the person that you are shocked and drive well those are the three options you have other than that you have no right to go to social media and the writing submission has come submission is slavery submission is punishment why does god hate women why does god stupid talk from the pit of hell satan has always been about identity submission is always about identity people are fighting for equality you the mere fact that you are fighting for equality means that you agree that you are no equal that in itself negates the whole fight so you fight for neutrality fight that let me be i mean woman and i love being a woman there are things i can do that a man cannot do there's some kind of power i have that imam will never have so for you as a woman oh no i'm going to try and rush through the rest i hope i have time oh no for a woman you must all know and i always say this a man is not respected until he feels respected ephesians 5 33 amplified classic he says however because when i say submitting other people what does he mean what does he listen he says let each man of you without exception love his wife has been in his sense his very own self and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband that she notices him that she regards him that she honors him that she prefers him she venerates and esteems him and that she defends to him praises him and loves and admires him exceedingly listen let me tell you god is just giving you the secret on how to manage men you think his punishment is no punishment he's exposed just unknowing money with just anything up to half of my kingdom god is saying why do you want to stress yourself praise him men are like me just praise him you do what you wants unknown him noticing his face is down notice ask him what is wrong with you you do like baby what is it what do you want baby you're not calling that thing baby what do you want who lies so far god is giving you expo take it detecting men learn her okay and i'm going to stop on this one i have a few more but i'm going to stop on this one i'll do one more for the women and i'll stop so learn her learn her love languages learn how to treat her the bible is very clear you see and and the woman you marry is going to be your school so when you say i do you are saying that forever and ever i will be learning about you until i die what you want what makes you happy what pleases you how how i can make you grow how i can how i can release you to the world what are the qualities you have i'm a groomsman i'm a husband man how can i help you grow and shine that's what you're saying but the problem most times is that men don't even take the time to learn you say yeah but i'm doing this for you are speaking a language that she doesn't understand i'll tell you a simple story when i want to have my son in them i don't have my son in america 2015. so my husband came to drop us and then he was because he dropped me with the other with the two elders with the two elder sisters and then he was going back to nigeria but you know how america is you need a car to move about it's not convenient so my husband left early that morning he came home for two days oh no he had two more days to go two more days he was with me they had two more days to go then down the morning before the day was going mars one went out early in the morning came back around 5 pm with car brand new car he came inside honey i spoke to a car he said i came outside you see you will not enter the car i opened the car let's see the black and white open the car i entered back he said so you would not drive it i see my tummy say move the seat back now i move the seat back i press the thing you say see this one is more different is this he has this option he has this one down or just looking at him you know i said oh this is not difficult your name will happen i say because you are going tomorrow it's never caught you come and spend this whole day with me why because my love language is quality time i am not materialistic at all so that guy i bought from us i was wondering god i just bought you a brand new car need for this latest for the explorer or something something he could not understand but you see that's usually what happens in marriages a man is saying i'm doing everything you must say boy you don't love me he doesn't love me since i got my team animals yeah so you are buying gifts she wants you to spend time with her or you're spending time with that you see which guy nonsense playing then which kind of nonsense i didn't go back to joey let's meet this one who's staying with help [Music] or every day every day demanding everyday man say you are beautiful don't tell non-beautiful before i bear go buy a ring jared you trump sound beautiful you're amazing by god i might be don't i see me wrong but some other women you buy everything for them he doesn't tell me i'm beautiful he doesn't know he doesn't pray learn her and you see the proof that you're learning her there's a result too uh the proof that you're graduating from that school your passing that high school is the result in your life it says you should if you don't know how to dwell with your wives you don't understand he says your prayers will not be answered so if your prayers are not being answered maybe you are not doing learning that learning well i'm giving you expo find out one for the women hmm which one should i choose which one should i choose b is hero b zero here let me just be zero okay b is hero what do i mean by that be the biggest champion of his cause a lot of men i've told you men are transactional men don't just mind for the sake of marriage men need somebody to help them to reach their destiny where they are going to and i learned this thing from the life of abigail when david was coming to kill neighbor abigail came outside to meet him that size he know you guys anointed to be king please please please don't stay in your hand with blood over this useless man that doesn't have sense you're not going to spoil your testimony you know sir no i'm not i didn't would he have had head i won't let you reach here i'd have come she described to him who he was going to be and she presented that testimony when neighbor died what did he do he came back to marielle as well we said that means they be sending each other a dm do you mean it she just put a right like this down as indicating that's not everyone don't raise us now you know this is the reason i haven't gone like this he was there to marry her when i got into my husband's life one of the first things god told me see you can't do much without the holy spirit you can't do marriage without you i don't know other people would you but let me tell you come to mind that holy spirit without prayer those two things you can't forget what they are telling you that if you dress well if you lose weight you know what if i guess outside there is it by losing weight you can't do it the only way to tell you exactly what to do those who told me your husband needs help he's an acts of service kind of guy muslim will not tell you what he needs he won't tell you i have to stop praying this we say this just ask him this if you ask him you die boy he's not just a gun person that doesn't impose on you for any reason no so lesbian said to me he has dreams in his heart ask him so i start asking him what do you want to do he wants to write books but he doesn't have the time i said okay so i will i would those this one of us go mine i would sit down still do it maybe not as often but i still do it now i will now sit down put his message in my ear and be transcribing it and now turn it into books so all almost all his books that's how they were written the next step i noticed that there was something that was burning in his heart he wanted to be on tv that was when god told us to go on tv and when i was seven i served in dbm television so i had tv friends so i so then i don't know okay i have a couple of people so the guy that i even got was the slot we had on stv at the time was my friend stanley so i had to follow up on that dream we'll be in the office together to midnight with editors that were edited see i saw that he was going somewhere and i was ready to make sure that he gets there so when you are planning to marry someone it's not just i love you he's welcome that this man has a destiny even some of you if you understand some of us women if you understand the power that you hold you will not be treating your position lightly that's why i say but they don't want to marry your client he defines the wi-fi is a good thing and obtains you are the favorite career [Applause] a virtuous one is a crown known to a husband that means that when you enter his life he becomes a king they say it's not doing again you're crying once you just carry your crown say thank my crown for nonsense carry your crown go and look for the right man and put it on his head god has called you to deep and great things as a woman so you have power beyond what you are thinking you are able to multitask means that you can fulfill your own dreams and still helping to fulfill his so i start helping him sometimes the things we wouldn't do you are starving your husband of sex so that he can go and do what one slip outside and turn in his destiny he asks you for advice you say what's my business that's him gonna do it doesn't concern me you are one that does not concern you any mistake he makes affects you and your children so you champion him you will pray ah i pray though i'm still praying never when i prayed i'm still praying you pray because there are things that god will even reveal to you the things i told myself there's something that god has even told me that even my heart has never been able to carry to bring that to my mouth to tell you i told him one day i said you have not scratched the surface of what god wants to do in your life this surface so you pray god is sending you on an assignment so that's the way they give you ring you can't be doing you don't have right hand again they say oh please i'm looking for you say oh you mean this thing this way auntie use your right hand you won't die so when god has called you into a life of service that's what marriage is all on both sides you won't play with it and when you understand that marriage is for god it's ministry to god the same way you don't miss query yourself is where you won't play with your marriage the same way you pay your tithe it's the way you be committed to keeping your marriage tight don't leave me [Applause] hallelujah why are you blessed this evening are you sure you were blessed this evening now i want you to lift your right hand to heaven i want to pray for you

Channel: mildred kingsley-okonkwo

Views: 278,792

Keywords: mildred kingsley-okonkwo, pastor mildred kingsley-okonkwo, pastor m, pastor mildred

Id: 9VXWmlQExYk

Length: 59min 25sec (3565 seconds)

Published: Sat Jul 24 2021