Mock the Week Series 11 Episode 10

Wow hello and welcome to Mock the Week I'm Jerry and joining me this week are Andy Parsons Joshua tucum and Joe Wilkinson Chris Addison Hugh Dennis and Milton Jones we sold a round call if this is the answer what is the question on the board a six categories Joe which category would you like politics please thank you very much your category is politics and the answer is 8 percent what is the question is it her how much of my body isn't covered in here no no it is not that easy in fact how much of a brohamer will have to be removed so as they can get what does mario balotelli give every games what is the chance of the police responding quickly to an incident at Andrew Mitchell's house how much of an Robinson's face can still move is it what looks like an obese parent and two obese children on a seesaw how many people involved with the making of the film innocence of the Muslims still think all publicity is good is it what percentage of X Factor finalists haven't had a granny die percentage of Americans have approached dr. Dre for medical advice what level of erection did I once try and have sex with you measure like elegant on that scale going out on the pole a check in your wallet before you go condom protractor is it what's Nick Clegg's approval rating in his own family is it in deprived areas how many lollipop ladies get licked to death okay I think it's what percentage of people say they would vote for the Liberal Democrats up see right thank you very much you jealous no yes the question I was looking for was in opinion polls this weekend what percentage of the British public say they would vote for the Liberal Democrats at the next general election this is the news that according to the latest figures at the start of the Lib Dem conference the party is now the fourth most popular in the UK with the sport only 8% labour or in the labour force two percent the conserves are on 30% with the UK Independence Party in surprised third place on 10% how unpopular is Nick Clegg well he could improve his popularity by changing his name to Colonel Gadhafi Presley now is he that you keep a now first yeah because Nick Clegg said he wanted to great three party politics didn't he and he's achieved that but sadly his party's not worse I've done some door-to-door canvassing for the Lib Dems and it's always the same you know the light comes on people come downstairs in their pajamas and people are angry keeping a go at these kind of people that are doing this kind of offshore banking going on well because they live in Britain but their banking the cayman islands they've got the best of both worlds that's that's not the best of both worlds massimo twelves is banking in the Cayman Islands and living in the Cayman bank in the Cayman Islands but I'm loving Roehampton attacks on the rich but it's actually going to be really difficult to be rich other if you leave college with 40 grand in debt right and you've got to find a 25% deposit how are you for a house have you ever going to be rich and the average starting day training your own home is now 35 yeah by the time I was born finishes starter homes will have like a stairlift have a nice old lady slowly assess going I love my independence can bring a girl back to the house shall we take things upstairs followed by a nurse going I'm the girl yes to bring back okay in on the news here's a picture of government chief whip and ooh Mitchell arriving by bike at work can I even sum up this picture with a phrase [ __ ] on a bike Zeke retires let himself go since the Olympics Chief Whip chased by giant chess pawn hey is it Spielberg disappointed with the sequel to ET this is simply shouting open the effing gate you play Beast gum after all the drugs test to see the only person that we left in next year's Tour de France do they know otherwise it what's this were a hot story paint assistant fabricate he has been accused of abusing verbally abusing a policeman at the gates to Downing Street who wouldn't let him through the main gates and force him to go for the pedestrian gates he swore at the policeman and apparently called him a pleb everyone's kind of acting like he said the most offensive it's the word pleb yeah we do a plastic look like it's I'm sure the police officers how it worse wasn't going home to his wife and gone oh my god someone dropped the pea bomb at work Oh unbelievable my ears have never heard such a thing the only thing here at school they might well have gone up and he just given him a wedgie that's people shout they're me I take it as a compliment Michael go presumably is thinking that's a lesson word that's good that's a classical education nature said they may have changed the words he said because the word they claim he says it was best you learn your effing place you don't run this effing government your effing plebs right he said he didn't say those words now I can't read it what words he said he said because he hasn't told us so though the only ones I can read out these are the people though who were charged with protecting him you don't want to upset them no oh yes I didn't catch mr. Mitchell as he fell from the second floor of the building though I didn't think he want me to touch him given that I'm a pleb as we took his body out of Downing Street we took him through the main gate it's what he would have wanted yeah who they either taco cos were a pleb the factory rides a Mary Poppins I'm a country midwife bicycle that's done me more of it of course you gotta decide who you're going to trust a policeman or Tory MP it's very difficult to know which is more likely to lie to you oh you keep it up with the paper source you have for this using the audience helps the message Louise you're shocked you get great surprisingly abused policeman knows it I do not about the walkers of Mitchell's was abusing recently he's probably been down a Vic's own I'm sorry I donate my blood is thicker than water Phil I didn't call me you plebs I'll call w / doing great hoodie guy yeah please let me out of here you don't run the government you toilet and there's some kind of weird that one of the details was that had come from a curry house and in the Sun it was reported said um he went for an engine and then he went to the gates of Downing Street where he let rip if you don't do the gates are gonna go up very quickly just to walk us through a car Mitchell says that he didn't say pled but people who say he did say pleb were the son and I believe them because who else has better access to police files coach from the son you pushed her to fun artisan you had another moment how dare you that poor old defenseless man surprised by this but no one was looking at that picture going well is he going to reveal himself to be posh I wonder they all say he seems they were very odd bicycle that you cycle with both feet at the same level in little boy instead of Joe John we play around car lockets pc pleb this game josh milton and joseph you could make your way to the performs area please this rounds a standard challenge i launched a tweet of news and wherever it chooses to stop one of our forms must step forward and talk about that subject the winner is whoever I think is a funny story here we go let's see the first topic please the first ability is catering anyone's doing that Josh I am my favorite play story is that at the breakfast buffet in a hotel so a breakfast buffet I will eat absolutely everything that's all isn't it at home I will have cereal or toast for breakfast a breakfast buffet I'm having cereal and toast as my starter the combinations you would never consider home coming back and what have I got well ate hashbrowns talked with some Dutch cheese action for pain au chocolat six croissants some segments of a fruit I've never heard of twelve the smallest orange juices you have ever seen it I eat so much a breakfast buffet I'm so tired I have to go back to that and then sleep through to my next restless puffy mixes the cereals can crunchy not cold plates with shreddies I think I am Heston Blumenthal you've got a do it on you it's like when you're in Nando's they give you the plastic glass to pour your own drink then while I'll be an idiot not to make myself a sprinter in this situation what Marty never spoke a photo actually yeah all of it what it tastes like utter [ __ ] absolutely okay okay that's the look next object and how the topic is smoking what's gross Joe I am I've actually given up smoking which worse a lie I'll be honest with you are one of those pricks that says they've given up and then goes to the pub and smokes yours cuz well when I was a proper smoker I hated pricks on it I really like you know someone culturing go have you got a spare cigarette no no because unfortunately I'm addicted to it which means I pretty much take a shine to all of them we got spare cigarette yeah I do weirdly because I'm a 19 a Daymare mater so I you know bird what else like bornus I do nothing for me like you know the waters though they're quite drastic things that are like smoking kills so what a horrible picture and still people don't give up bloody hell so I've come out of a cut of ideas like to get people to give up smoking they're just ideas what you could either put a warning or cigarette packets this says something like one of these [ __ ] has been up a dog's ass yeah separating the men from the boys or simply make cigarettes cock-shaped so that leads minton let's see what topic you've got the topic is school that last point was a bit weird wasn't he anyway I went back to my old school the other day first time in 30 years I took a note teacher said so Jones what have you done with your life I said oh I'm just Britain's top Ofsted inspector a lot nicer to me after that and therefore the funeral of my old science teacher he asked me to say a few words so I did method we put the coffin in the crematorium observations it burned with an orange II bright flame conclusion no more homework yeah next round is called headliners here's a picture of the American presidential candidates but what does PRRT stand for easy to prankster removes Romney's teeth looking at Obama's is president really resembles trophy Obama saying PRRT seven letters Belgian detective public reaction reaches tepid yeah yeah in a Yorkshire accent is it politicians right rubbish we got Joe these radio times not present reads radio is it presidential race remains tight very good well don't they go Josh yes the answer I was looking for was presidential race remains tight this is the news that would less than seven weeks to go the race to win the presidency of the United States is heating up polls show the Barack Obama and Mitt Romney are still close despite Romney committing a series of gasps I think I preferred Romney and Only Fools and Horses you crank around this thing about Romney hasn't he actually has got the Republican nomination this year but four years ago he lost out to John McCain John McCain and man himself we lost out to the nomination eight years previously there to george w bush so you're thinking how poor are the republicans at the moment the best person they can find if somebody wasn't quite as good as the bloke who wasn't quite as good as george w mccain doesn't like any of that he's got a real chip on his shoulder i think this time around he is only the best of a bad bunch because there were at least two other come there was newt gingrich who we beat the denomination he would have been the first president to use his porn name and ron paul who was really right-wing but to meet ron paul he sounds like the first pope from essex leave it he was accused of making herself look darker to appeal to the latino community yes i thought it went a bit far when he was shaking maracas near the airplane gasps yep a mistake oh hi yeah did he say that he because his wife wanted to smoke on an arab no no was his wife or just smoke in there for his wife's plane was forced to make an alert emergency dandy because of fire that's all she wasn't with it with a lighter to the seat in front good man if she was an arsonist but it lives to make it des plagued by a gap wouldn't it well Singapore is like I like at the convention thank you very much top stop on the campaign to pass against fires no she was on the pair she was all playing I had to make emergency landing because of fire now he said however Romney said it's great it's usually over here when you have fire in an aircraft there's no place to go you can't find any oxygen from outside the aircraft to get in the aircraft because the windows don't open I don't know why they do that it's a real table I'd like to get a little more air into the plane where the fire is don't know what would be more that he doesn't understand how airplanes work or did he doesn't understand how fire actually suggests they use the petrol to put out the fire that sort of smother in shavings of wood yes it seems to be getting bigger did you know also save his life that you weren't seeing it he wasn't using it very much on the election trail arena in case you got tired of her she said in an interview I can fish my body might get annoyed with mange so now I'm Romney is a a New York Muppet she's got quite flip to go ruts coming off a Oh for my husband okay another news who are arming themselves with rifles and pots of Nutella isn't the loose women listen it's the people that are killing the Badgers will be much louder more sad than about the most hot is someone shake of the Badgers I know you're very young comic on the show you need to make it appear like an 8 year old Corey animo mister people killing the badges because badges apparently give cows TB yeah cows Badgers Badgers cows that that maybe too black and white black and white now be black and red all over okay that's born because of the pond or because the poor Badgers at I can't work your mood though sorry bro in my E's against the budget he's against the budget O'Brien see why I can't use he's only got a walk through the countryside without somebody trying to shoot his hair on this that was the name of his organization weed Queen yeah it is organizations called Nigel it's called team badger whose initial spell t be a team big t the big b if they're going that's actually the problem Brian the reason he's protecting badgers is because judging by that picture he owns the world's largest what a pageant is a a badger of destiny that battery goes I'm above such title I see far and rafi a land where Badgers and man confined late he also seen that photo good to be on the Zimmer frame so it's really not looking I bought my first starter home so cynical badges included you joined badger who stares off into the distance they wanna they want to kill 3,000 yes that's why they were killed and I was I was just wondering what they're going to do with them afterwards because I'm a sort of part-time taxidermist and I really fancy having a badger army I would love to think of you Jo buried with your badger are just your coffin in the middle and radiating outwards a badger army in separate poses ready to attack a different point yes you embalmed in not happy yes if you cull too many badgers you'll just for some underground anyway do what celebrities accept interest Caressa Dixon right Clarissa Dickson right stepped in Joe she says she said that's my fault we like to see so if everyone can make the way over to the performance area I'll read out this week's topics and then we'll see what our panels can come up with okay here we go the first subject is unlikely things you hear in a news program a tornado has struck the east coast of America carrying everything with it let's go over to our Washington correspondent in Hawaii welcome to Sky News at the moment the sky is blue after years of searching the police say that they are now close to finding who let the dogs out they have new leads right now let's go over the news in the shitty place you live scientists have injected a human embryo with Marmite woman gave birth to twiglets continuing our major story about news organizations hacking people let's read a few of your emails more on that volcanic eruption in Iceland two of the hours of closed one of the tools out of order this is the world's most literal reporter saying back to the studio and now over to sue with the weather Avada our top story tonight anger grows amongst autocue operators following a massive pay cut bunt it's Willie far time agency spot on sunny outside so why not head down the beach you might see some tits and now for the weather report let's hope it's a hot one oh no it's Rob McElwee and finally I'm in The Hague which must be very uncomfortable for him quick look at the weather now it is unlike things to read on a medical label use only if you're in mobile or find it difficult to move tested on Dara O'Brien empty diarrhea medicine in an emergency shove the bottle up your ass as recommended by Michael Jackson died tetramethyl chlorobenzene for the anomia let fluence of the trike or decay oughta does exactly what it says on the term groin cream not suitable for people with a nut allergy homeopathic tablets side effects none main effects embarassed using anus all why not try this ass cracks ooh do not eat dairy otherwise we will have nowhere to milk the cows for Agra it'll give you more than 8% contains plac'd box and made it up a limb viagra take 15 minutes before sex or if single strap in for the wank of a life obesity pills don't eat the bottle chubby keep out of reach of children not the tablet you store somewhere cool like New York pregnancy test pick up your daughter's boyfriend and shout what are you this week's winner passes Josh we're gonna go commiserations of chris isaak as you guys Milton Jones watching i'm dagwon good night there's comedy tomorrow night at 10:00 on BBC 2 Stephen Fry's asking questions about journeys as the new series of Q&A continues

Channel: nick fulham

Views: 668,038

Keywords: Mock, the, Week, S11E10

Id: WIHth_6x4-s

Length: 29min 58sec (1798 seconds)

Published: Fri Sep 28 2012