Mike Myers : SNL Cut Sketch (All things Scottish) w/ Christopher Walken

so that's uh one kelt one loch ness monster and one bottle of bell scotch whiskey that comes to 222 dollars and 27 cents right great sure thank you very much lovely thank you it is a great story by the way you just just sell scottish things here that's right all things scottish our slogan is if it's no scottish it's crap help yourself to a piece of haggis all right all right bye bye now okay bye bye [Applause] [Music] [Music] [Applause] welcome to all things scottish if it's no scottish it's crap can i help you well ah this is just a shot in the dark you haven't have these plaid coasters and they have jackie stewart's face on them bucks of 6 or 12. oh 12. hey i love the way you talk oh thank you very much for 15 i'll do the message on your answering machine no thanks all right then that comes to seventeen dollars please [Music] lovely see you later all right thanks oh um uh it's a brick neck and a moonlight [Music] you're late get your kilt on ah i'm not wearing the stupid kilt oh you wear the kilt you don't get a kick in the face you little bastard ah we live in america now no one else wears kilts well i know no one else wears kids but then no one else is scottish are they you're worried you'll like it i'll know oh i'll kill you son i'll know you're a dead man now you bastard you make me laugh with me man say goodbye to life mum wouldn't have made me wear a stupid kilt oh don't ring up your mother no fair bastard bringing up your mother i love you i love you son i love you tudor i love you it hurts it hurts i'm sorry i'll wear the kill bringing up your mother like that no fair bastard i get so emotional by the way we got the new shipment of sean connery's autobiography would you display them please would you yeah um by the way where were you i'm i'm taking a course at the devry institute oh the institute is it what can you learn from books dads devry there's no books bad enough welcome to all things scottish ah thank you my name is angus can i help you well hello angus i would like to get something scottish for my dad well you came to the right store excuse me i hope you don't mind my saiyan but i think you've got beautiful eyes thank you what's your name hillary hillary ah hilary that's a beautiful name well thank you angus well beautiful hillary what were you thinking of getting for your father as if you weren't gifts enough well i don't know like i was saying maybe something scottish like a little leprechaun leprechaun well hillary leprechauns are in fact irish oh well irish scottish it's the same thing oh they're the same are they have a look at a mop they're tailing their [Applause] i hate it i hate it when you shout at the customers like that besides she was cute listen jimmy you've no got time to go gala venting with every dolly girl that comes into this shop i mean knock on wood what what if something should happen to me i mean who's going to take over the store ah i don't want to take over the store what i said i don't want to take over the store you've just committed patricide son ah dah don't be so dramatic stick me in a long boat set it ablaze and push me out to see ah i'm 35. we've been in america for 17 years everything's so bloody scottish we should sell something american like what pizza pizza that's no american that's italian it's what americans eat not blood sausage or sewer pie your tube it's like all a scottish cuisine is based on a dare oh you're starting to get sun you're starting to get insulting son well maybe you deserve to be insulted well maybe you'd deserve to be put through a plate glass window ooh look at me i'm scared you you should be scared and why would i wee man because i'm about to put my fist through your wee face you should be ashamed of yourself talking like that you'd never be talking like that if mum was around oh don't bring out your mother bastard i love you i love you i love you judah i love you i know just don't bring up your mother it hurts i know it hurts it hurts me too i love you i love you okay we'll add pizza grape dad all right all things scottish and pizza it'll not change things that much star all right fair enough your bastard put away them books you won't be sorry okay hold on here just so we're clear we serve pizza you take over the store that's right magic and i don't have to wear the kilt oh you're a sneaky slimy bastard and you're a stupid old man all that pick a window pick a window oh look at you your wee head's about to burst like a tomato oh i'm gonna rip off your head and spit in your neck sunny gem and yeah how do you think mum would have liked that i love you i love you [Music] [Applause]

Channel: Ghosts of Vermont URBEX / Sky's the Limit Videos

Views: 1,082,366

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Id: f1CR68NDgGg

Length: 6min 38sec (398 seconds)

Published: Tue Sep 07 2021